A Glibertarians Exclusive – Mr. Okpik Goes to Washington, Part II
Washington, DC – June 2028
“I can’t believe all this,” Tuktu said for probably the fifth time in the week – and it was Monday afternoon.
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure what ‘going viral’ really meant, but boy, I think we did that and then some,” Quinn replied.
“And to think,” Tuktu added, “All you had to do was to tell them what you think.”
“Come on,” Quinn said, grinning. “We’ve got that morning cable news show to do. These folks came all the way down from New York to talk to us.”
They left their hotel, named for and owned by a former President, and walked a few blocks to the studio of one of the various cable news organizations that covered national news. At least now, in the early morning, it was still fairly cool. Quinn and Tuktu, not used to the muggy heat of Washington in June, were nevertheless dressed carefully – for rural Alaska, in flannel shirts and canvas work jeans. The cable network had ‘advised’ the brothers to show up in coat and tie, but Tuktu objected: “No point in doing this if we’re just going look like every other asshole on the network.”
They arrived an hour early and were ushered into a “green room” to wait. They waited, and watched the television in the green room while they waited, and waited…
“They all sound the same, don’t they?” Quinn observed, after the fifth or sixth interview with some politician or another.
“All just blowing hot air,” Tuktu agreed. “Why do you think people are listening to you? You’re real, bro. None of these people,” he waved a dismissive gesture at the television, “None of ‘em are real. They’re phonies, the people talking to them are phonies. It’s phonies all the way down.”
“You think so, do you? Well, maybe that’s why we’re getting all this attention. Hell, we’re just regular guys. Just want a job, supper on the table, you know? All these Washington people, all the hot air, all the running back and forth – I don’t know how they keep from going crazy.”
“Hell,” Tuktu said, “they like it that way.”
“Yeah. I wonder, though… Right now, you’ve got all these people running for President, right? The conventions are pretty soon. No matter which way people vote, regular folks are still getting hosed. I wonder…”
Just then a young woman holding a clipboard stuck her head in the door. “Quinn and Tuktu Okpik? You’re on. Follow me, please.”
They followed her, out of the green room, down a hallway, past a bunch of people managing big cameras and boom mikes, onto a big set with a long, curved white couch. On the couch were three people: A tall, thin man with blonde hair, a slim blonde woman in a red dress, and short, stocky man with black hair. “Sit down, here, please,” the tall man said, indicating an empty spot on the couch. “We’re on a commercial break. We’ll be back live in a moment, and then we’ll introduce you.”
“Cool,” Quinn said.
The interview went without incident at first. The woman in the red dress asked some questions about Quinn and Tuktu’s youth in northern Alaska. “You’re both… Eskimo, then?”
“We’re actually Inupiat,” Quinn corrected her.
“You’re a long way from home, then,” she said, belaboring the obvious.
Quinn and Tuktu shared a glance. Then, the tall blonde man asked a question that was to change the course of the entire exercise:
“Quinn,” he asked, “you’ve been making a lot of statements, giving a lot of talks, but what do you think ought to be done to fix things here in Washington?”
“Well,” Quinn said, thinking very hard for a moment, “I think it’s about time we started electing regular folks. Folks who know what it’s like to work for a living.” He held up his hands, scarred and battered from fishing, whaling and working the oil fields. “We’ve tried having the politicians run things for a couple hundred years now. I think us people in places like where we’re from, in Wainwright, Alaska, we could do better if the folks here in Washington just left us alone. If we have to elect someone, let’s elect someone who will… what’s the term the business guys use? Downsize. Downsize the whole damn thing, leave us alone. Leave us alone!”
“We’re in the middle of a Presidential election right now. You’d vote for someone whose platform is ‘I’ll leave you alone?’”
“Oh yeah,” Quinn and Tuktu both burst out in unison, as though they’d rehearsed it.
“Well,” the tall man said, “none of the candidates are running on that.”
“Maybe someone should.” Quinn looked thoughtful for a moment. Hell, he thought, why not?
They left the studio a half-hour later, after the show broke for a commercial and handshakes were exchanged all around. Out on the sidewalk, the brothers were surprised to find a considerable crowd waiting for them.
“It’s him,” a portly lady shouted. “It’s him,” she repeated, and then shouted what would fast become a slogan: “It’s Quinn the Eskimo!”
“Inupiat!” Tuktu shouted helplessly as the crowd surged forward.
“We saw you on the monitor out here!”
“Are you running for office?”
“Quinn for President!”
Several people took up that last as a chant, which grew and grew as the crowd continued to gather.
Quinn leaned over to talk sotto voce to Tuktu. “Which way is the Mall? I got turned around.”
“You always were hopeless at finding your way,” Tuktu chuckled. He pointed. “That way.”
Quinn turned to face the crowd. He held up his hands. The crowd slowly quieted.
“OK,” he shouted. “You think I should run for President, do you?”
“Quinn for President,” the crowd roared back.
“Tuktu, you mind being my running mate?”
Tuktu laughed. “Beats the hell out of running a pipe wrench on the ANWR,” he said.
Quinn looked over the crowd, the anxious, sweating, hopeful crowd.
“All right,” he shouted. “We’re going to the Mall. FOLLOW ME!”
The crowd picked up more and more people on the walk. By the time they got to the Mall, they had blocked several streets in the passing, but the DC Police were helpless to stop the surging mass of humanity. Quinn led them, with Tuktu at his side, to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
With Tuktu still at his side, Quinn walked to the top of the steps. He looked up at the statue of Lincoln, then turned to face the crowd. He could still see more people, some running, some walking, even one very old man being pushed in a wheelchair, all coming to hear him.
He looked ahead brilliantly. The sun shone down on the grass of the Mall. Quinn felt a surge of something, something inexplicable.
These people, they are here for you. This is the moment. Seize it.
He held up his hands. “My name,” he shouted, “is Quinn Okpik. This is my brother, Tuktu Okpik. We’re from Wainwright, Alaska. We came all this way to talk to people like you. Why? Because we are people like you. We have worked winters in the oil fields and summers fishing. Well, the oil fields are closed down. Our people have no jobs, and why? Because people here – people on that building,” he pointed down the Mall to the Capitol, “just decided we didn’t need those jobs anymore.”
“Damn right!” Tuktu shouted.
“Well, we’re here to talk to you about that. More to the point, we’re here to talk to them about that. Want to know how we’re going to do that?”
The crowd, still growing, roared. “YES!”
“The Presidential primaries are pretty much over. The parties will be picking their candidates soon. And they’ll just be the same kind of old candidates, put out by the same old damn machine, and if we elect them, they’ll just keep on finding ways to mess up our lives. Well, I’m here to offer you a different way. We’ll have to run a write-in campaign, but with all of you – all of us – I think we can do it. I want you all with us. Write-in, remember this, write in Quinn Okpik for President! Write-in, remember this, Tuktu Okpik for Vice President!” You know why you want to vote for us?”
“BECAUSE YOU’ll STAY OUT OF OUR BUSINESS!” the crowd roared.
“Damn right!” Tuktu shouted.
“It’s our time now, folks. No more career politicians. No more billionaires. You’ve got the chance to elect a couple of oil-field workers from the North Slope, and if anyone wants to know if we’re up to the job, tell them this: How could they possibly do any worse that what we’ve got now?”
Quinn held up his hands again. Beside him, Tuktu did likewise. The crowd clapped, cheered, danced. Across the Mall, Quinn could see more people running to join in.
It’s our turn now, he told himself. And it’s about damn time.
***
Oh you know I like to do just like the rest, you know I like my sugar sweet
But guarding fumes and making haste, you know it ain’t my cup of meat
Everybody’s out the trees, feeding pigeons all under the limb
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here the pigeons gonna run to him
Oh come all without, come all within
You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn
I’m enjoying this story, Animal. I wish it really were this easy for regular people to be heard.
Since it’s sort of on-topic for this story, I’ll re-post something I’ve already used twice today again.
grr. *implores Edit Fairy*
Apparently the Edit Fairy can’t be bothered to help you. 🙁
I wish it really were this easy for regular people to be heard.
Hmm…
Voters in Croydon turned out in large numbers on Saturday and overturned the massive school budget cuts passed at the last town meeting.
With Saturday’s vote, the town’s school budget for next year grows back to it’s original figure of $1.7 million.
A total of 379 registered voters turned out for Croydon’s special town meeting on Saturday, with all but two voting in favor of over-turning the drastic school budget cuts that were passed back in March.
The left pulled out the stops.
Well, I didn’t say I wanted unrestricted democracy, either.
Neither do I.
Apparently, “the left pulled out the stops” was not an exaggeration. The left really did put a lot of effort into this vote. I wonder if that will scale or be able to be sustained through the campaigning season. Filing period in NH is in June with the primary in September.
All of those parents didn’t want their local babysitting service interrupted.
Probably teachers’ union and their families.
This is all going to end horribly. I can tell.
Prediction: it will all start going downhill when someone says “Hey Buddy, stop doing that.”
The main characters drifting off into the arctic ocean on an ice floe?
The only question is, will the drugs wear off before the starving polar bear starts snacking on them?
The FBI will “find” Russian seal porn on their hard drives.
uhhhh…
I don’t even want to know if that is a real thing.
It’s like you don’t even Internet.
There’s porn of everything out there.
There ought to be some sort of rule about that.
We’ve already got thirty-some odd other rules though.
I know a few furries, but I don’t know any seal furries. Closest would be an otter or two. This might be a new thing…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUhvUqUwQ60
Closest would be an otter or two.
I think that’s something else. May want to check with Tonio.
I assumed Sean wanted to see some incriminating photos from Seal’s Russia tour, not the animals.
There are otters, and then there are Otters. There may well be otters who are Otters.
*sigh* It’s hard out there for a pervert…
Obligatory Seal reference.
Your friends dress up like Tim Matheson?
To each their own…
And unlike Hunter Biden, since they are against the regime, the FBI will do something about it.
Wouldn’t even matter. “We’ll leave everyone alone” does not appeal to the vast majority of voters.
“Hey buddy, stop doing that!”
Yeah, I was expecting the FBI to come galloping over already. Maybe next episode.
That escalated quickly.
Can’t wait to see where it goes.
How could they possibly do any worse that what we’ve got now?
Because you’re still stuck with the same old Congress?
They haven’t been doing anything for 20 years.
Everyone loves their own Congress-critter – the problem is always someone else’s critter.
Point of order: I very much do not like my Congress-critters.
The problem is that at the local level, no one wants to vote outside the TEAM for fear of giving the other TEAM a win. And the barriers to entry to become a TEAM candidate preclude harboring any non-TEAM ideas.
The major parties really do have it sewn up about as tight as a tinpot dictator.
I have a feeling none of this is gonna matter for much longer.
I’m curious about what you think might push this out of the rut versus just continuing the slow decline into rot and corruption.
https://www.atomicarchive.com/img/science/effects/mushroom-cloud-1.jpg
I’ll get some marshmallows.
What can’t go on forever, won’t.
New Iron Law. So let it be written, so let it be done.
We live in interesting times.
Boredom is underrated.
And more importantly the permanent bureaucracies.
Those can be RIF’ed, if you could get a Congress that would actually cut spending.
Yikes!
Someone is setting themselves up for an assassination, I think.
Great stuff, Animal!
Yeah. I’m expecting a bullet.
Ahem: “botched robbery”.
Nah, at the end of part III the okpiks take off the mask and reveal they’re truly reptilians.
I believe the President and Vice President can’t represent the same state.
https://www.history.com/news/can-the-president-and-vice-president-be-from-the-same-state
There’s no law against it, but the specifics of how the Electoral College is constrained to vote can make it impossible in a very close election.
But they CAN according to the WH itself unilaterally lower internet prices for millions.
FACT SHEET: President Biden and Vice President Harris Reduce High-Speed Internet Costs for Millions of Americans
Strong-arming private businesses to enable your policy goals is the bedrock of our democracy!
I was really hoping that would be a Bee link.
…to either increase speeds or cut prices,
well, given that the speed is going up all the time, they aren’t actually promising anything they aren’t already doing.
Mine is down. We used to reliably get well over 100 Mbps, and now we’re down into the 20 – 50 range.
Could be our 5 year old router, though.
Aren’t they supposed to storm the capitol building Jan. 6th style?
How do you think their demonstration is going to be reported in the media?
OT – The cookware thread in the last article made me once again think about an issue I’ve been trying to solve, and where my idea is viable.
I bought a large scale resin model from my regular supplier of plastic crack. The main body of the vehicle is a box made up of two u-shaped sections. The problem is, resin often deforms during the unmolding process, so the pieces I have are slightly pinched and slightly torqued, meaning they won’t fit together correctly. Fortunately, the resin can also me re-softened and adjusted if brought up to a gentle heat usually done by submerging it in hot water (not quite boiling, but probably scalding). With the thick walls of the main body, I’m unconvinced I could get it to the right temperature to work it by conventional means. Then I thought about using a sous vide bath to maintain a gentle heat long enough for that heat to reach the interior of the resin, which would then let me fit shims inside the halves to straighten them out.
Does this idea sound crazy to anyone?
What’s the temperature you need to get to? I imagine it’s around the Tg of whatever polymer you’re talking about?
I don’t know the exact temperature. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t tried it yet. Typically adjustments are made by filling a coffee cup with water from a kettle, then soaking the work piece until it gets flexible.
A sous vide should work perfect, you just need to experiment with the right heat level.
Sounds reasonable. probably safer to as long as you keep the resin well under compete meltdown temperature. Might make sure the plastic bag it will be in (assumption) touches it as little as possible. You don’t want stick marks.
I was thinking of putting the resin directly in the water. Normal tweaks don’t use anything to keep the water off the resin, since it’s nonporous and non-soluble.
It sounds like a good approach – immersion circulators were around long before they started using them for sous vide. Maintaining a precise water temperature is good for more than just cooking.
Now if only I could find an inverted clamp of the right dimensions.
I’m hesitant to search the internet for a ‘spreader’.
What do you mean by inverted clamp?
I’m hesitant to search the internet for a ‘spreader’.
That seems prudent.
“spreader clamp” on Amazon seems safe – I see a couple things that may work.
I’ll have to check when not at work. I’m thinking it’ll be easier to get an even pressure to keep it in alignment if I can rig up a jig with some sort of compressable material against the interior detail, a rigid plate behind that and a couple of adjustment screws similar to a clamp but operating in the opposite direction (ie, inverted, or a spreader) to apply the actual force. I have to factor in heat resistance in material choice though, given the environment, but that part seems straightforward enough if I can find or make the right pieces.
Worst case, I can cut down a piece of all-thread and use some wingnuts and flat stock with a few holes through it for the pressure.
Like so?
“Inverted bar clamp” gets you lots of safe possibilities.
Saw that, but surely that’s much too big.
yeah, the spacing is less than an inch and a half inside the miniature.
Candidate: https://www.amazon.com/Excel-Blades-Adjustable-Modeling-Miniature/dp/B081HY1VGB
“Excel Blades 3 Inch Plastic Bar Adjustable Clamps for Diorama, Modeling Clamps, Hobby Tools for Model Building, Miniature Plastic Clam”
Better:
https://www.amazon.com/Solid-Brass-Miniature-Clamps-Inches
I had just found this guy https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XD5WGW9/
You second link gets a “Sorry” from amazon because it lacks the product code.
Yep, you found the brass one I was trying to link to.
It might not work, one of the brass jaws isn’t fixed to anything in order to handle pressure in an outward direction.
If you can remove that end, you could drill through it at the corners and center, use a file to square out the through-hole, and then drill and install a set screw to hold it in place on the bar.
Or, the lazy option that costs twice as much, buy four and use the one jaw from each that is already set up with a tightening screw on a single pair of bars.
FYI the All-Clad sous vide circulator has a maximum temperature setpoint of 194F, so you might want to check to see if the Tg of your resin is in that range. Maybe take a scrap or sample and put it in hot water at that temperature to verify.
I shouldn’t have thrown away the risers. 🙁
Well, I have other resin from the same source which has its own risers of similar thickness to the important pieces. So that’s probably my best bet for testing.
Good idea. Test on something fairly disposable. And write about it, with pictures.
*Puffs out chest for remembering to give a plug for writers.
I may be using the wrong term, but the part I’m thinking of is the extra resin left over from the pour into the mold that is a solid block in the pouring channel. It allows them to overfill so that there are no voids in the part that matters without spilling. They just ship it still attached to the models, with it looking like a base for the little ones as there is often more mass left in that portion when dealing with regular sized figures.
I think it’s called “sprue.”
Doesn’t feel right to use the term that way when I’m accustomed to them being the plastic frames in injection-molded sets.
Wikipedia specifically uses those frames as an example of “sprue.”
In case I was unclear, the plastic frams are what I tend to call sprues.
Whether the leftover bits on a resin pour are also sprues is what I am hesitant on. It implies a framework to me rather than just a channel.
But, I’ve been known to have mismatched technical definitions in my head.
Understood
1. Quinn wins on write-in votes, gets disqualified for some made-up technicality, world ends in flames.
2. Quinn is run over by a car (on purpose) in Washington, Biden quips a racist line about Eskimos not knowing what cars look like, world ends in flames.
3. Quinn wins, moves the seat of power to Alaska, and repurposes the White House and government offices as warehouses. People actually get left alone. Politicians, left with no one to torment but themselves, spontaneously combust.
Some people just want to see the world burn.
Set the World Afire
Contra
https://youtu.be/6l6vqPUM_FE
I actually started with that, but decided to go a different direction today. As R.J. says, it’s Monday.
Sorry, it’s Monday. Makes me want to burn everything.
Burn!
Burn some more!
Related
https://youtu.be/b6ZnjrvRu6Y
That’s quite the range in those 3 links.
I was once at a bar in Fort Worth and the music that night was 100% Cure. I’m not sure what was goingon but it was The Cure night.
If memory serves, it was the Flying Saucer, ca. 2000.
Arthur Brown joins the fray after adjusting the onion on his belt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1uwIzI3SE
Playing The Cure all day does sound like a very Flying Saucer thing to do. There was a good Cure cover band in Dallas for as while as well. I remember they played the Screams fairgrounds one Halloween.
Pretty sure I’ve seen that act at Burning Man.
— Abigail Adams, 1775
Abigail Adams is one of my few heroines.
Daily Quordle 105
6️⃣8️⃣
9️⃣3️⃣
sucks, but not a chump
3️⃣6️⃣
7️⃣4️⃣
5️⃣8️⃣
6️⃣7️⃣
Lazy LOL of the day.
Lazy Reddit photo.
Yowza. Can’t decide between turned on or horrified.
No. No no no no no no no no
C’mon. Maybe?
I have the weirdest boner.
But… I AM looking at your eyes dear!
Googly eyes
https://www.google.com/search?q=googly+eyes+billboard+davis+california+&client=ms-android-samsung-rev2&source=android-home&sxsrf=ALiCzsZtEWIqc05WExugHburLKV2dGxCxg%3A1652120675662&source=hp&ei=Y1x5YuSiJpas0PEP29ibwAc&oq=googly+eyes+billboard+davis+california+&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBADMgUIIRCgATIFCCEQoAE6BwgjEOoCECc6BAgjECc6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOhEILhCABBCxAxCDARDHARDRAzoICAAQgAQQsQM6EQguEIAEELEDEIMBEMcBEKMCOgsILhCABBCxAxCDAToICC4QgAQQ1AI6DggAEIAEELEDEIMBEMkDOgUIABCSAzoICAAQsQMQgwE6BQgAEIAEOgcIABCABBAKOgYIABAWEB46BQgAEIYDOgUIIRCrAlDOHVjy3gFgyvUBaAFwAHgBgAHSAYgBpBqSAQYwLjIwLjGYAQCgAQGgAQWwAQ8&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp
Well, THAT’S ugly.
Aaaaah! The link! It burns!
But is the fetus professional enough to carry that Glock?
*rack*-*drop*-*bang*
That dude must (rightfully) still get shit about that all these years later.
Love it.
QUINN FOR PRESIDENT!!
We should make “vote for Pedro” style shirts for Quinn.
I’ll leave you alone
I’d vote for it. Hell, not having a high-end education is probably a favorable credential for that one.
Technically, the answer’s not wrong.
Exactly.
Yes, but Theresa is correct as well.
Honestly, that question seems more biased against Dems and women.
Also, Dominic Avila has what I thought was only a white-hipster facial hair style. I suppose that makes me a racist.
Man, I hate waiting rooms
For you.
I knew it!
You have excellent taste, sir.
Thank you.
Live version.
I miss the olden days.
This Was A Test.
This Was Only A Test.
When the rooms spring into action, be afraid.
RepublicansRooms pounce.Florida inmate on the run after escaping work detail, sheriff says
Even in FL he may have a bit of a problem blending in. OTH, Casey White is 6’9″ and nobody has a clue…
I am in disguise. This way, no one will recognize me.
Thanks, Animal, the story got curiouser and curiouser . They’ll be deemed un-electable as the first native American candidates for reasons that can’t be disclosed
When the lights go out in Georgia and in other random places and food begins to spoil there will be some serious disappointments all over the US, actions and consequences will follow.
When the lights go out in Georgia and in other random places and food begins to spoil
One of the properties I looked at before buying our current place had a spring house. I thought it was a bit anachronistic, but those may be coming back. I could build one onto our spring now, but it would be quite aways off from the house.
There’s a spring that empties into our pond–I could probably dig back into the hillside and intercept the spring and build a spring house around it… that’s a lot of shoveling though.
Relevant