Chinese fat. This has nothing on People of WalMart.
I write this on my phone while camping in a field full of ants, cactus and horse crap. My daughter just told me she would rather pee her pants instead of face a spider in the bathroom on the campsite. Which by the way, is a compost toilet with slat walls*. There Will Be Nature. And I Am Tired of This. Other girls have been screaming and crying over the heat (95F) and otherwise things have been less than pleasant. Is this camping with ten year olds? God give me strength. The one joy I had on this camping trip is I taught all the girls about enacting labor. They spent a good part of the remaining trip asking each other “Are you enacting my labor? Shouldn’t YOU get your own water?”
I snuck in a Bota box of white wine, which I chilled in the ice chest. I normally hate white wine, but it is fantastic at this moment. At least I go home tomorrow (This was written Saturday – R.J.).
So what are we doing here? Posting Enter the Fat Dragon? Let me ramble first. Modern kung fu films seem to follow two paths:
- CGI festival of kung fu and creatures from Chinese legend
- Stunt and humor heavy films following the Jackie Chan formula.
This film falls into category #2! Very Jackie Chan-like in stunts and humor. An entertaining movie overall. A cop eats everything in sight to get over his emotional problems and becomes the Chinese version of fat. It is hilarious to see people slinging fat jokes at a guy who has a basic USA dad bod. A little GilbFit and he’ll be fine.
You may have come here thinking this was the famous Enter the Fat Dragon with the great Sammo Hung. It is not. I am still striving to find newer films right now so I am showing this, which is of no relation to the original save for the title and the inclusion of fat jokes. Never you mind what Wikipedia says, it’s run by commies. I included a link to the 1978 Sammo Hung film in the link above. You can watch both and decide if you think this is a remake, or it just shares a common fat-phobia.
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week is… Audience Choice! I need some B movies! I have played too many new films lately. Pick something from the stack below:
- H.G. Wells Shape of Things to Come: This is a disco-era version and NOT the 1936 classic. Spandex and space battles abound! It has Jack Palance in it so you know it’s quality.
- Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity: It’s a Charles Band classic that surprisingly few people have seen (or remembered). It has bikini babes in peril and a guy playing The Most Dangerous Game.
- The Lost Empire: Holy Blue Balls Batman! Angus Scrimm as a wizard! Bikini babe warriors! and… Big hair!
*I handed my daughter the Harbor Freight Bug Racket and she carried it into the compost toilet. I heard the sound of it discharging, over and over for about five minutes.
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*hits play*
Oh I’m hitting the cigar and martini.
Barcardi and vaping.
Vodka and vaping.
This Rocky Patel ‘92 is the bomb. What’s your vodka?
Smirnoff.
I drank a bottle of Tito’s earlier this week. Knocked me on my ass several evenings in a row.
I have my monopolova martini
I’m not familiar with monopolava. What is it?
It’s an Austrian vodka with a label that looks like it was made on a Xerox machine. And it’s good.
Nope. I’m a gin martini girl. The only reason I have vodka in the house is to make pastry.
My mom didn’t believe me when I told her some people use ice-cold vodka in their pie crusts.
“My mom didn’t believe me when I told her some people use ice-cold vodka in their pie crusts.”
They do, but it’s hardly necessary.
Second the thumbs up. Good on ice.
Also good in pie? Lard. But the wife has a knee jerk reaction against it so none in our cooking.
I use ice water, then half butter/half lard, half frozen, when I can be arsed to make pie crust.
RE: Booze in pastry and pie crusts: I’ve used whiskey and bourbon in pie crusts. It worked.
Moshi, moshi
Is that a Barney Miller reference?
I’ll vote for the “Lost Empire”.
Sneaking in that box of wine was a good idea.
Diving in.
That was my vote. Angus! He was such a wonderful man.
They spent a good part of the remaining trip asking each other “Are you enacting my labor? Shouldn’t YOU get your own water?”
OK, that made my day! Well done, R.J.!
I will make little independent Girl Scouts. Proud of them.
Stunt and humor heavy films following the Jackie Chan formula.
You could do worse.
Very true. And this is a great example of the genre.
To be fair to the girls, oppressive heat and desert bugs is not my idea of camping. Get thee to a less punishing part of the country first.
Yeas, it sucked. But they braved it, helped start fire for dinner and generally did well. We all agreed no camping past April from now on.
Camping in the northeast in early fall is delightful.
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity: It’s a Charles Band classic that surprisingly few people have seen (or remembered). It has bikini babes in peril and a guy playing The Most Dangerous Game.
I think I watched that the other night. I couldn’t have told you the title if you dangled a stack of used 100 dollar bills with non sequential serial numbers under my nose.
Had to turn on the English subtitles.
“May you perish in the line of duty.” HAH! I liked that line.
It’s a hilarious film.
No one can enact the labor I do. And I do it all for you – the Glibertariat.
What would your life be without the Firsts I bring to your life? Each one like a rejuvenating dip of honey dew on an unseasonally warm fall day?
Blah, blah, blah. Where’s the first we’ve been promised? This reminds me of the great pumpkin.
A mere human child takes 9 months to develop. How long do you think it takes for a First of this magnitude – a First with so much raw power than it drains me completely every day – to form?
I am deeply hurt by this line of questioning.
Thanks for reminding me to go enjoy the garden. My fountain was finished last month.
Hey, maybe you aren’t up on current events but our numbers just got their asses kicked, pal. No more first, no more last.
Had to turn on the English subtitles.
Is it dubbed?
Nay, it is not.
I’m completely confused. It’s a Hong Kong Kung Fu pic with a Japanese director that is so well known he has no English Wiki page.
Yep. Hence I wrote about camping.
I’m enjoying the live auto chase scenes without CGI.
It’s like a simpler time.
That chase scene was insane. I was amused by how the reporters acted.
It must have taken weeks to shoot that scene. It is so well done.
They can be very efficient. I think Police Story was shot in a week.
This is good. Gotta go join a zoom. I’ll finish tomorrow. Thanks RJ!
Thanks for coming!
95°F while camping sounds awful so it’s perfect to toughen up those dependents.
Good Lord. I was having issues and I am fairly hardened to it. The mosquitoes were the final straw. Despite DEET I got over 20 bites on my back (sweated off the DEET when I tended the big fire. So I wrote a damn movie review almost by memory on my phone (which had no signal). All the girls had battery operated fans at least. They earned that camping badge!
Can imagine cuz I’ve been there. Set up the tent in that heat plus a good 80% humidity. The 11 year old daughter stepped up and did the tasks she was capable of doing without complaining. Pulling together to make a comfortable campsite FTW.
Did that one summer in LA. It was called JRTC and it sucked.
/Hank Hill voice
I did learn how quickly the living human body can fall apart in swamp conditions.
Sure can. You sure don’t wanna be overweight in those conditions or the ticker could go caput.
The Boys season 3, June 3. w00t!
The only thing that would make me happier is another season of The Expanse as well.
The Expanse is done, innit? Did it end satisfactorily? (I’m three seasons behind so no spoilers.)
Yes (supposedly) and yeah kinda sorta okay I guess. They did a thing in season 5 that pissed me off, though, and that carried through season 6.
I think I know what that thing is, and attempting to look up further information about it reveals… nothing. Huh.
I have many gripes about how the last season was handled, but the series as a whole ended satisfactorily.
I vote Angus Scrimm.
*insert gif of the tall Man saying, “Boy!”*
Where were you camping? We went to lake Sommerville in TX over the July 4th weekend in the late 90’s. I didn’t bother me, but everyone else in our group was pissing and moaning. We ended up leaving early when one person in the group stepped on a broken bottle in the lake. He was legit cut bad, so it was a good excuse for everyone to leave. The irony being it was probably his broken bottle.
Good luck Grizzley RJ. Don’t tell them about how scorpions come out at night and a black light shows them with crazy colors. Or do tell them, I won’t enact your labor.
Heading out for the Thursday night race. We race for more than honor, we race for free booze!
I do need to share this first. Of course this outfit would, because it is who they are.
https://nypost.com/2022/05/19/nprs-strict-masking-policy-encourages-coworkers-to-tattle-on-violators/
I’ve decided I’m never wearing one of the fucking things again. I don’t know what the policy is in my office building but supposedly it’s still required on the subways I would need to ride to get there so sorry, I’m not coming in.
Sorry I’m late to the party. Busy day. Complaint drops tomorrow in E.D. TX.
I’m going to be updating that lawsuit from my blog – so it will serve both as the updates to the suit for my ~540 mil clients, plus a running journal of the lawsuit’s twists and turns. I’ll probably do the same for the follow-on suit for Coasties that should drop in a couple of weeks.
(I’m hoping TPTB won’t mind if I drop a link to my own here, for those who might be interested.)
I may not have much time to be around here for a while. Notwithstanding, a good idea for an article came to me today, so I’m going to try to bust that out this weekend and drop it in here to at least contribute a little something besides Quordle scores and the occasional snark.
Go get them, Ozy!
I just wanted to wish you good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Thanks RJ 🙂
Good action (very Jackie Chanish with the hapkido stuff ), but the fast subtitles were kind of hard to follow.
Speaking of outdoors in TX, anybody know what kind of spider this is?
Shouldn’t a spider have 8 legs?
I dunno so KILL IT!
It was already dead and picked over, thus the missing legs.
Nope, can’t be dead yet, as it isn’t ON FIRE!!
TX/OK have tarantulas.
Yep. Tarantula of some kind. Too bad.
Any of those three movies sound fun. Why not do all three on successive weeks?
I remember it.
You’ll miss it when you are an old fart like me and they are too busy to even return your calls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU
I just did today’s Quordle, and I must say I kicked some major ass.
Daily Quordle 115
5️⃣4️⃣
2️⃣6️⃣
I got bored with seed words, so I just go with whatever pops into my head for the first two words (without repeating letters).
Chump turned out to be a good starter word today.
Kill me now. TCM has American Ninja.
Is that good or bad?
I’m torn. A favorite from my youth. But it’s a not a classic classic. Besides it’s too new… *checks production date* eff me.
Between that and the “enacting my labor” bit, this young lady seems to have a good head on her shoulders.
It’s been a while, so I forgot. I wrote up something and put it in “New Projects”. Basically finished. I get a “project ID” but there is no “submit” button there. Am I doing this wrong?
Do it as a Post, not a Project
Thx
Hah, didn’t realize this starred Donnie Yen in “fat-face” (TM, patent pending [I’m sure that’s not original]).
It’s funny ’cause he’s a (reasonably) handsome fella IRL.
Penis deglovings! Finally got another one! (This is what happens when you edit a urologist.)
*vomits*
You needn’t be so gleeful, woman.
No, really, you should be happy for the dude. He had a whole bunch of scar tissue making everything very painful. He’ll be right as rain in a day or seven.
Still, that sounds painful. Like throw up from pain painful.
Alright…either they are fucking with us or Elon is exposing the narrative.
States he is going to vote republican….and minutes after allegations of sexual misconduct is brought forward.
Yo, I’m becoming a fan of Musk. He’s the hero we need.
Good morning everyone.
Daily Quordle 116
2️⃣4️⃣
7️⃣5️⃣
quordle.com
??⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜??⬜
????? ⬜⬜⬜?⬜
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜????
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ?????
⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ?⬜⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜?
⬜⬜?⬜? ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
⬜⬜??⬜ ⬜⬜⬜?⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜? ?????
????⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
#waffle119 5/5
?????
?⭐?⭐?
??⭐??
?⭐?⭐?
?????
? streak: 3
wafflegame.net
Daily Quordle 116
4️⃣8️⃣
5️⃣6️⃣
Daily Quordle 116
?6️⃣
9️⃣4️⃣
Uffda, I don’t like rooting for my opponent to tank it but that’s where I am. Should have switched seed words, two good days in a row is a but much to expect.
Daily Quordle 116
4️⃣7️⃣
9️⃣6️⃣
quordle.com
⬜?⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
⬜⬜?⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
⬜??⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
????? ⬜⬜⬜?⬜
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜?⬜⬜?
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ?????
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ??⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜? ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
⬜⬜⬜?? ???⬜?
⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜?
⬜??⬜? ⬜⬜⬜??
⬜⬜⬜⬜? ?????
⬜⬜??⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
??⬜?? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
26. Horrendous.
Daily Quordle 116
6️⃣5️⃣
7️⃣3️⃣
quordle.com
⬜?⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
⬜??⬜⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
⬜??⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
⬜⬜?⬜⬜ ????⬜
⬜⬜?⬜⬜ ?????
????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ??⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜?⬜⬜ ??⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜? ?????
⬜⬜??⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬜⬜??⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
I’d like to thank the academy, it’s just an honor to be here, etc.
Well done NA, I’d wish you good luck in the finals but I’m a bitter and spiteful man.
Went for broke, almost chumped.
Daily Quordle 116
6️⃣9️⃣
7️⃣3️⃣
quordle.com
Daily Quordle 116
7️⃣8️⃣
6️⃣3️⃣
quordle.com
⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜??⬜⬜
⬜?⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
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⬜⬜⬜⬜? ?????
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⬜?⬜?⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
And of course…
#waffle119 1/5
?????
?⬜?⬜?
??⭐??
?⬜?⬜?
?????
? streak: 26
? #wafflesilverteam
wafflegame.net
? May 20, 2022 ?
? 2 | Avg. Guesses: 6.5
⬜??????? = 8
#globle
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/wild-shootout-at-montebello-7-eleven-store-caught-on-video-police-now-searching-for-2-suspects/ar-AAXuvYJ
Yo, that’s nuts.
I read that as Monticello and wondered why Thomas Jefferson.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fgT9zGkiLig
Let’s kick this shit off.
Morning y’all.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2022/05/19/lower-merion-cheltenham-school-districts-masks-montgomery-county-covid/
Retards, all the way down.
The NH bill to ban public schools from masking kids hit the governor’s desk yesterday. He has five days from then to sign or veto. If does nothing, the bill becomes law at the end of those five days. I expect he will veto or do nothing.
We are undercounting covid cases!!!!!!!
JFC, people, put a plastic bag on your head!
PROTECT YO SELF!!!!11!1!1!
Covid is old hat, monkeypox is where it’s at now.
Just like VAERS reports, right?
https://news.yahoo.com/tight-gop-senate-race-pa-204447581.html
We still don’t know who won. This shit is so ridiculous.
I just want Oz to lose. That’s not too much to ask, is it?
This is an excellent way to pick the candidate better at ballot-stuffing, which is an essential skill these days.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2022/05/19/landon-lucas-teenage-pilot-ocean-city-lands-plane-new-mexico-crash/
Dude, flying might not be your thing. Just sayin.
Yeah, this kid was made for public transportation. I got stuck in the traffic jam he caused last year in OC.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a4L5-4waTN4
Lulz.
(Sex humor.)
Mornin’ all! Heading out to the gym.
Good morning, DEG (in absentia by now,) Sean, Stinky, RoaT, and l0!
Bit noisy outside hereabouts, and lotsa red on the local radar. Hope this thunderboomer passes before I have to leave for work. ?
Daily Quordle 116
8️⃣7️⃣
?5️⃣
quordle.com
I suck at this, but I still enjoy it
https://wafflegame.net/
Get your waffle on.
I feel your pain, sister.
3 9
X 5
Mornin’, reprobates.
Hope your weather clears up, GT. Big nasty boom-booms scare the snot out of me.
Good morning, ‘patzie! I’m actually rather fond of thunderstorms – when I can hang out on my nice wood-and-cotton futon chaise on the back porch and enjoy the light show, not so much when I have to drive on the interstate through the heart of town during rush hour.
Eleanor Morton brings the nerd humor, and I love it. https://youtu.be/tEWSDcVzD7c
It’s Covid! No, monkeypox! Can you survive that really big disease?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r5AZwkz8zLU
Good Morning, all,
Another spring day, seems like it’s a month late but we’ll take what we can get. Hope your inclement weather is over, GT and everyone’s day is starting out bright and cheery, ‘cept here, overcast and gray with a couple cool days coming.
Another funeral tomorrow, the husband of a classmate. A really nice and funny guy. There’s no looking back though. Yesterday I promised a new neighbor I’d show her and her husband how to trap local gophers. My reputation is on the line but I’m not worried, except for the gopher. She asked me how I’d eliminate the gopher and I rolled my eyes. “It’s a gopher and he’s making big mounds on your front lawn”.
Goodness! Two big Toms and a few hen wild turkeys out in the yard. The Toms are big showoffs this time of the year. They are beautiful and not native in this area but for the past several years they’ve been moving northward.
Global climate whatchamacallit has benefits.
The girl turkeys don’t seem to be too impressed, the boys are acting like teenagers in the parking lot of a convenience store.
“Two big Toms and a few hen wild turkeys out in the yard. ”
They are ubiquitous here. Beautiful, but dumb as rocks. Love it when they start pecking at my tires as I am sitting at a stop light.
I used to have them, but Lily decided she didn’t want to share her yard.
We had 4 Bourbon Red poults but 2 didn’t make it after just a few days. I’m hoping the remaining two are tom and a hen, but still too early. Such is the risk when ordering a from a hatchery, but I wish I had bought a few more now.
We did recently find a neighbor who breeds Royal Palm turkeys and has promised us a few poults from their next hatching
Good morning, 4(20)! The rain has almost entirely moved off to the east (sorry, Teh Hype!) but it’s predicted to be a scorcher today.
Obligatory.
Unfortunately the rain has gone and it’s supposed to be in the mid 90s for the weekend, so the inclement weather is just arriving. It’s then supposed to thunder and cool off just in time for monday.
Not looking forward to the last stage tomorrow. Excessive heat makes my brain not such gud.
I see Tubi is showing subtle support for Russia in the image posted. Someone needs to tell them to change the colors to match the Ukrainian flag.
The Russian flag is red, white, and blue. Donald Trump likes to display a lot of red, white, and blue at his rallies. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Not too shabby today.
Daily Quordle 116
8️⃣3️⃣
4️⃣6️⃣
New ambassador to Ukraine!
https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2022/05/19/senate-confirms-ukraine-ambassador-bridget-brink/3241652958413/
We’re playing with fire. Brinkmanship is a dangerous game.
NPR had the former Minister of Truth on, and she presented herself exactly as the terminally-online partisan you’d expect. Lots of vocal fry and called he critics “childish” repeatedly.
“called he critics “childish” repeatedly.”
Projection is a helluva drug.
suh’ fam
yo whats goody
Tall Covfefe, and the daily visit from Brer Fox.
Belarus cracks down on insurrectionists.
https://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2022/05/18/belarus-Belarus-death-penalty/4921652903220/
“U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken said Belarus has used the “politically motivated” charges of terrorism and extremism against hundreds of political prisoners — including those not guilty of violent crimes.”
I am blessed to live in the land of the free, where such things are unheard of.