Looking forward to seeing this movie…
“Just As The Market Collapses”
‘Alex Garland on how Attack on Titan shaped his horror movie Men: ‘I’ve got to run faster’”
“Margot Robbie Will Lead the Heist in a New Ocean’s 11 Prequel Set in the 1960s”
Friday Afternoon Links
About The Author
Riven
[riv-uhn]
noun
1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd.
2. often aims to misbehave.
3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.*
And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.
F…f…first?
Depends on what ruleset you follow.
You are in the ‘open first’ category which has no requirements to reference the article, nor any formatting mandates.
I’ll take it.
THAT’S NOT HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GLOAT!
You’re not supposed to gloat, that’s just gauche
You stuttered. You doubted yourself.
NO FIRST FOR YOU!!!
I’ve got nothing left to do until after 5pm when I just have to change some digital certificates and restart an application.
My stress from the past week has melted away.
I almost feel good.
Don’t worry the heatwave is coming…
I don’t get that parking thing. Why wouldn’t they build a parking garage and put units on top?
FTA
Cheaper to pay the Vig as opposed to the more expensive and complicated construction.
Water table.
Uggh. I am on a “parking” project for one of our sites that has approximately 900 employees and 300 parking spots. It’s nowhere decent public transportation.
The Jersey City waterfront, where my office is and where factories and railroads used to be, is all parking garages with units on top now.
I could never figure out why anyone would want to live in crowded condos AND there’s nothing to walk to because it’s all parking garages. ?♂️
I’m probably gonna be in Jersey City tomorrow. I’ll face southeast and wave to you.
I can see the waterfront towers from my house. I’ll wave back.
When I first moved to NJ and people said they were going to “the city”, I thought they meant Jersey City.
The thing is, there’s no reason you can’t have storefronts on the bottom floor of those garages.
Some do, some don’t. I imagine lots of developers don’t want to bother with that.
^^THIS.
The condo we lived in for six months in Vancouver had underground parking, street-level shops and services and condos starting on the 1+ levels. Sadly, our master bedroom was over a coffee shop that had Thursday Night open mike, and didn’t shut up until around 11; then the faux Irish bar around the corner emptied out around midnight, and drunk shitheads would spend the next hour screaming “WHOOOOO! I’M SO WASTED!!!” outside.
We didn’t get a lot of sleep Thursday night/Friday morning. First time I seriously considered buying a pump-action.
Huge parts of Portland are now like that. There was a massive push for “mixed use” and “density”, which lead to some of the old warehouse areas being torn down and these ugly condo/apt. being thrown up. The big selling point of Portland was* the walkability and neighborhoods. This give you neither.
*was. There is no selling point at this time, hence the exodus.
The “multi- story residential above a single story of commercial retail” exists in a building code loophole. Some California architect discovered it years ago. It allows them to build out the residential using wood framing but no sprinkler systems. That’s why you see so many of them, even when they’re almost completely devoid of commercial tenants.
“What’s more, Graber notes that “under the new system, any builder seeking to construct less parking must come before the city commission and plead their case. That gives the city commission new power, and creates an incentive for developers to make the right donations to grease the wheels of zoning exemptions.”
In other words, this whole thing could just be a charade to facilitate some good-old-fashioned corruption.”
The hell you say!
I love those Ocean’s movies. I only saw part of Ocean’s 8, but that one seemed pretty good too.
I think I fell asleep trying to watch the first Clooney one. They just don’t do much for me for some reason.
After Heat, nothing else can compare.
Heat was a brilliant movie. Depending on your take, I enjoy Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels as a heist style film as well. If that fits, A Fish Called Wanda could count as well.
I saw a shit-ton of movies in the 90s. That was truly a golden decade for movies.
Yep. Boffo box office for the winners.
The Asphalt Jungle.
The Frogger episode of Seinfeld.
I’ve never seen Heat, but the latter two films are great.
Malcolm is a fun heist film. The dancing ash tray receptacles are worth the price of admission.
Heat. Old man porn in Armani. Now with extra scene chewing.
Not a fan of that movie. But I dislike Unforgiven.
^^^
Have you seen the original one? I’m curious if you don’t like the premise or the remake(s).
I LOVE the original and thought the remake was pretty damn good. Ocean’s 12 was good too. Haven’t seen the rest of them.
The 1960 one? Nope, sorry. Thinking of it… I don’t know if I’ve seen any Sinatra movie other than Guys and Dolls.
And honorable mention to The Godfather, of course.
Not From Here to Eternity or The Manchurian Candidate?
You also have to see The Detective, which I think is in the current FXM rotation unless it just got removed. Sinatra utters the classic line “Penis cut off”, which is a sign that this is a murder with homosexual overtones.
Nope, never watched any of those, sorry.
All of those are good.
Same, my dude. I own 11, 12, and 13. I finally broke down and watched 8 last fall sometime.
I don’t have any guilt over enjoying the first three–I’ve been known to put them on as background noise, even. Maybe 8 will grow on me.
“In 2018, the series returned with a Sandra Bullock-led, all-female spinoff called Ocean’s 8.”
That movie was awful.
Although the title, 67% of Ocean’s 11, seems appropriate for some reason.
73% would seem more appropriate.
They rounded down. Which also seems appropriate.
I almost feel good.
Go hit something with a hammer.
Like your ex-boss?
Not part of the “Ocean” franchise, but I liked Vegas heist movie
Funny, last night I was watching one of those “Mysteries of the Abandoned” shows and it had El Dorado, which was where that movie was filmed. There are still old cars and a crashed plane sitting around.
Courtney Cox at the height of her powers.
I think my favorite heist movie has to be Sneakers, personally.
Great – especially for the time. Although…Rififi probably has to take the cake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVRiC5ysSLk
In Macao, not Vegas, but this was a fun heist flick – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28qTsiPhYCI – great Korean and HK performances.
I expect most Moloch worshippers at least know what a garbage disposal is.
And in the What took you so long? category…
That AOC thing is why this will never be resolved. Either you believe it’s a life, or you don’t. If you do, you think the other side is a bunch of murderers. And if you don’t, you think the other side is waging a war on women. Like any contentious issue, there are few people willing to say “I feel this way, but I can understand why the other side feels the way they do.”
It’s the absolute refusal by the Left to acknowledge that the other side has any argument and their attempts to remove dissenters from society that is polarizing this issue at the moment. And that’s true across the board, the Left is creating a reactionary right that they will come to regret.
AOC should have taken a biology class, ontogeny in particular. That is no religious dogma.
All the soul talk is religion, which really can’t say when ensoulment happens. [Ah, back to the days of believing in the homunculus.]
I am not going to tell Catholics how to run their denomination, but that isn’t how my church does things.
Then again, our communion is self serve.
Why does she keep flashing the OK sign?
Also, why does she think one has to be religious to think it is a life?
A convenient lie the atheist-left tells themselves to “win” abortion arguments. Only religious people think it’s an “actual” life…no logical person could think an embryo is alive! Also, you probably just want to date her.
The Catholic Church should be excommunicating those pro-death politicians.
Yeah…don’t think I’m gonna bother with Men – the trailers already look tedious as hell and Annihilation was not all that interesting beyond a couple concepts that weren’t explored at all. Ex Machina was alright – wouldn’t have minded catching it in theaters…but once you’ve been burned.
https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/05/in-men-the-kavanaugh-blasey-ford-nightmare-returns/
I did a micro-review of a “period” flick I enjoyed 20 years ago…to be honest… I think Iijima Naoko really caught my eye at the time.
https://twitter.com/FishLikesFlicks/status/1527741820503003137
The trailer for Men looked painful. I like Rory, but the folk-horror-political dread with a prog agenda is just too stupid.
I’m sure there will be plenty of adoration from the crowd that enjoys the symbolism that’s as subtle as a Mack truck, but I’ll pass.
Pretty much my take. I loved Ex Machina and Rory Kinnear is hugely underrated, but outside of Get Out (which was overrated) the whole horror-movie-as-a-thinly-disguised-prog-metaphor genre has been abysmal. “Us” was probably the most confused and incomplete metaphor I’ve ever seen committed to a film. It either needed some more rewrites to flesh out the idea or to just realize it was nonsensical and thrown out. The movie “Karen” that came out last year looked so self-serious and dour it wouldn’t even make a so-bad-it’s-good movie. Alex Garland has been a pretty mixed bag. Annihilation and DEVS were both disappointments. I’ll wait until Men is streaming somewhere for free, but it’s probably going to turn into a hate watch if it’s as preachy as I think it’s going to be.
Be sure to keep an eye on Robbie this summer. She will take on the role of the iconic plastic doll, Barbie
Margot Robbie is hotter than Barbie.
The move, which was enacted in March by a 4-1 city commission vote, will make it harder to build smaller and more affordable housing units in the city’s denser areas.
Feature, not bug.
“Margot Robbie is hotter than Barbie.”
Having seen her up close, oh yeah. Robbie that is. Well, and Barbie too I guess.
Life hack for the long of hair: On a hot day when you’ve been out running errands and have been caught in the heat with your hair down, a wrist coil key holder will also tie up a ponytail. https://www.officedepot.com/a/products/3663156/Sparco-Split-Ring-Wrist-Coil-Key/fromLocalBrowse=false
I’d just look like an 18th century lad off to his blacksmith apprenticeship. Seriously.
Hawt.
Of course a libertarian would appreciate that sort of style.
Ear and eye candy!
That’s a good cover.
It’s better than the original.
TBF, that’s a low bar. George Michaels’ best stuff was not his meta-emo introspective shit. WHAM! was all about youthful joy and optimism, and his later stuff was best when it was power-ballad-like.
Woo hoo! We were in “Dow Thirty Thousand!” for the better part of the day today, before it clawed back to a seven-point gain at close.
https://kdvr.com/news/money/asian-stocks-rise-after-wall-st-slips-closer-to-bear-market/
I think I’ll go ahead and not look at my portfolio for about a year.
I, unfortunately, looked. *takes big gulp of martini*
In other job-related news, my boss told me today that I had been in a dream he had last night. In the dream, we were both in high school, but I was still his administrative assistant. He said at one point he’d needed a calculator, and I had given him one. After he told me about that part of the dream, I said I hoped that would be reflected in my evaluation.
You’re the AA of his dreams?
Your boss is inappropriate.
As far as I’m concerned, he’s fine – we’ve worked together for 22 years.
Curious why having a conversation with a coworker is inappropriate.
So, uh, I had some time to kill today as I was waiting for something at work, and I may have built a Quordle solver script. It’s score for today’s Quordle was:
4 6
7 8
It’s pretty stupid right now, but I’ll refine it slightly and share the source in an article as soon as I get the chance to write it up.
Currently, it randomly selects from a set of seed words it uses for the first 2 guesses (no duplicate letters, 3+ vowels, all letters are either vowels or one of the most common consonants).
Then it goes to random selection from a word list with one caveat. I keep a separate word list for each quadrant, and if one of those lists has less than 10 words, I guess from that list.
Obviously there’s a lot of room for improvement, but it’s a start.
I didn’t do too bad today.
Daily Quordle 116
5️⃣7️⃣
6️⃣4️⃣
Results from a practice run
Cool!
NERD!
QuordleBot doesn’t want to hear it!
“QuordleBot don’t give a shit.”
I suck. I’d rather not chump every day.
It can’t do any worse than me lately.
It beat me today.
It’s been humiliating me a lot recently:
Daily Quordle 116
4️⃣6️⃣
9️⃣7️⃣
quordle.com
You have been replaced by a program. Have a nice day.
Parking requirements (min or max) are fucking stupid. Really fucking stupid. Like insanely so.
No parking requirements: I can’t find parking. All these buildings are using up public parking. The government needs to force developers to provide parking.
Parking requirements: The neighborhood isn’t pedestrian friendly. There is too much space devoted to parking instead of housing and retail.
City council compromise: Turn all on-street parking into bike lanes.
Take cars away from government-sector workers.
Backyard temps are still showing 90+ deg, but assume grass ain’t gonna get any drier – time to get out and try and finish mowing it.
I’m at 36 F, and snowing.
Today is POIFECT! 66F slight breeze.
I was 66 and perfect here until 5:00:00 when it started pouring rain.
Wait until tomorrow. It is supposed to be upper 90s.
See you tomorrow?
Yes.
If you haven’t seen it yet, I left you a Soviet era (1956) film in the Forums.
Also, I just got turned on to Gene Roddenberry’s The Lieutenant and it is some of the best television I’ve ever seen.
https://youtu.be/gclGJMZtydQ
It’ll be hot tomorrow at Gourmeltz
Yep but I think getting there early enough with the expanded seating, there will be more than enough indoor space vice last year.
Grass is just too long – from not mowing for 3 weeks – gonna take one more battery charge to finish off the backyard tomorrow afternoon. Need to look for a second battery.
BTW, since I’m coming off MIL orders, I’ll cover some apps for folks – fried pickles, maybe some wings if folks are in the mood. Or the giant pretzel?
My actual lawn is basically clover. I’m ok with that. What pisses me off is that Japanese stilt grass has invaded my flower beds.
I’m heading down to PA for some dancing. Have a good weekend folks!
Sweet, have fun
Did you ask the boss about Gourmeltz tomorrow?
I’m obligated to fatherly duties tomorrow and Sunday as it turns out. I’d like to, but cannot.
That sucks, maybe next time.
I’ll make it happen at some point.
Sure the minions would enjoy gourmeltz too….fatherly duties and all.
The good ol’ days. 4H club after the official meeting. Some joint like Moonlite Bay on Saturday night, wedding dance. Anywhere there was music and girls.
Have fun, DEG.
Reminds me of a cartoon I saw:
1st guy: When I was young, I was a member of the 4-H club.
2nd guy: When I was young, I joined the Mile High Club, but I could never law four hours.
Large male breasts for chestfeeding birthing persons on Friday Funbags.
https://web.archive.org/web/20220520212506/https://www.barnorama.com/69-hot-and-busty-girls-5/
Big tits.
When will we have common sense accoutrements of war control?
When an 18-year-old man stepped into a Buffalo grocery store last Saturday with an AR-15-style rifle, the store’s security guard tried to stop the shooting by firing his own weapon back at the shooter.
But the security guard’s fire was stopped by the shooter’s body armor, authorities say. Then, the shooter shot and killed the guard, Aaron Salter.
“The security guard that was killed was a retired Buffalo police lieutenant. [He] engaged the shooter, who was wearing tactical gear and body armor. [He] did shoot and hit the suspect, but it did not penetrate the body armor,” said Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown in an interview with NPR.
The Buffalo shooter’s decision to wear body armor makes him the latest mass shooter in recent years to do so, following high-profile cases in Colorado, Texas and California.
In the U.S., body armor is subject to far fewer restrictions nationwide than guns. Its use in mass shootings has ticked up in recent years, experts say, raising questions about the equipment’s accessibility and fears about the deadliness of such shootings, if police are unable to use deadly force to stop them.
Call the Senate to order.
*lights John signal*
I’m disappointed. I thought you were smarter than that.
It’s a magical talisman .
He was wearing tactical gear too. Why doesn’t that require a background check? No one should be allowed to walk into a store and walk out with unlimited quantities of TA50.
MOLLE!
He had MOLLE!!!!!!
For a moment there I thought you wrote “mole” (as in the sauce) and I got all excited.
https://www.villamexicocafe.us/salsa
This. Whoever here introduced this to me has my gratitude.
In a sharp contrast with firearms, no states require background checks, permits or registration.
Oh, HORROR!
Sounds like those states need to repeal their unconstitutional laws that infringe upon firearms then.
*cue John rant*
Wanna see my body armor?
Except Connecticut, which, ya know, bans it outright…
I had the privilege of seeing him perform live in San Diego. The dude was always rocking it, never slacking.
https://youtu.be/w9EHbkpxUNw
Today, in living large news:
“EXCLUSIVE: Inside Jeffrey Epstein’s New Mexico ranch. The full glory of the sprawling 30,000 sq. ft. home where the pedophile abused young girls is revealed for the first time in stunning photos as it goes on the market for $27.5 million
It boasts its own firehouse with working engine and fire retention water tanks that store 5,000 gallons near the main residence and 10,000 gallons in Ranch Central.
Glasshouses accommodate a generous kitchen garden and offer the ranch a home for its own private ecosystem.”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10837699/Inside-pedophile-Jeffrey-Epsteins-New-Mexico-ranch-market-27-5million.html
“Nothing but cigarettes, Coke and M&Ms: Golfer John Daly’s INSANE on-course diet as golf’s biggest bad boy, 56, tees off at the PGA Championship
His diet garnered much attention given that, unlike his fellow competitors, Daly was driving throughout the course with a smile on his face as the PGA allows him to use a cart under the American with Disabilities Act for his osteoarthritis.
The attention on him persisted as he then took a trip to Hooters, one of his sponsors, to enjoy some wings before ending the night with beers and slot machines at a Tulsa casino.”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/golf/article-10836241/Nothing-cigarettes-Coke-M-Ms-John-Dalys-INSANE-course-diet-PGA-championship.html
Be nice if Hobbit picked up the Epstein cabin and we’d have a place for R & R
Wonder what Tiger thinks of Daly getting to ride.
Did he have a ticket?
Tiger could apply to use a golf cart due to his “special situation” (PGA actually lost a Supreme Court decision where they attempted to deny golfer Casey Martin use of a cart.)
But Tiger has consistently stated he has too much pride and respect for the game and his fellow competitors to apply for use of a cart.
I kinda agree with Tiger on this one. If you have to roll your lard ass around in a cart, you ain’t any kind of bad boy.
It was fun to watch him today. I like busted up Tiger more than dominant, waitress fucking Tiger.
The Five was supposed to do a segment dunking on NPR’s mask policy. Gutfeld went off on Fox News’ covid policies instead.
I miss working in my studio. (Image has been altered from a straight photograph — look closely if you wish [ewwww, I take that back — the file compression on it is fairly nasty].)
I’m not vaxxed, so too many people still consider being in my presence to be the same as a death sentence. No clickies for me.
Your daily dose of Sanford & son:
https://youtu.be/iImI5BGMeEI
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1527344969471520768
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Funny stuff
ATP and WTA to strip Wimbledon of ranking points.
Too bad they couldn’t do it to the Australian Open too.
Wow. This is huge. Wimbledon becomes an exhibition tournament.
Good for them (ATP and WTA).
Ugh, the preening sanctimony on some sides.
I don’t remember anyone banning the U.S. after any of our various invasions. Or China for their ongoing human rights violations. Or… or… or….
The WTA removed its tournaments from the Peking Country for what it did to Peng Shuai. They even moved the year-end championship to Mexico.
True. But none of the men played in China either, and I thought it was vid-related.
As of right now, the Shanghai Masters Series event is still on for October.
According to the current ATP calendar there’s four events in China, while the Kremlin Cup in Moscow is listed as “suspended”.
Wow, pushback in sports. That’s a rarity these days.
https://www.phillyvoice.com/philly-schools-mask-mandate-covid-19/
Masks are back, baby!
🙄
Aaaaaaaand they’re gearing up for monkeypox to be the next Big Thing, too.
I should just invest in mask futures.
Pathetic.
“Trump’s ascendance in 2016 posed a painful psychic challenge to liberal elites. It suggested the possibility that many millions of Americans were motivated by deep, venomous dissatisfactions with the world they had helped create, that our cultural disagreements were profound, not superficial, and that our perspectives were practically irreconcilable inversions of each other. Political reality seemed to tilt on its axis. How could a man who appeared to them so transparently abhorrent and clownish be welcomed by others as a savior — or at least as a tolerable alternative to the status quo?”
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/05/the-liberal-obsession-with-disinformation-is-not-helping.html
They still don’t get it. I doubt they ever will.
Remind me what the status quo was again?
Oh yeah. Well, That’s why.
Neph is on …detached duty. Very detached. He was last seen dressed in a red hoodie and boots, insisting he was on his way to Grandma’s house to deliver baked goods.
Therefore, I will kick off the Friday GlibZoom, happy hour, writers lounge, STFU Sloper at 20:00 ET.
DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
(The ‘And now for something completely different’ Edition)
#116
Champ
l0b0t 18
Chump
TARDis 121
No-Chump Streak Standings-
Sean 38
MikeS 26
Not Adahn 26
Rat on a train 22
Ted S. 22
Grumbletarian 21
grrizzly 15
trshmnstr the terrible 13
whiz 12
Ozymandias 6
db 3
Grosspatzer 3
kinnath 3
one true athena 3
SDF-7 3
Bobarian LMD 2
cyto 2
Grummun 1
l0b0t 1
Ownbestenemy 1
pistoffnick 1
PudPaisley 1
rhywun 1
The Other Kevin 1
Tundra 1
Some number of players, an Average score, Tundra Line – Blah Blah Blah. Grrizzly and Not Adahn face off for the inaugural Glibs Quordle Championship. Lets give all the contestants a big hand and hope for a good clean fight tomorrow. My money’s on NA.
Oh, and here’s the weeks spreadsheet if you’re into that kinda thing.
I posing the overnight thread! I chumped, but I posted.
You chumped, It’s the no-chump streak list, chumpers aren’t on it, Neither am I (temporarily).
Uh, Tardis?
He was the chump of game #116, notice he is not on the No-chump streak list and l0b0t (game #116 champ) is, it’s two separate things, It’s really not that complicated, but I don’t want to be accused of mansplaining so I’ll leave it at that.
I’m not bad enough to be unpersoned.
so the one day I come in well under the Tundra line, and you don’t post raw scores?
I want my entry fee back!
Sorry no refunds, I will however upgrade you to the platinum service at no cost for two weeks.
You’ve got a deal!
Cases of monkeypox linked to Belgian fetish festival
“Yeah, baby! “
“specifically in Flemish territory”
Those dirty Flemish, give me a Walloon any day.
I just wanna know who fucked the monkey.
Peter Gabriel
Is the Servator OK?
How do we know he’s not behind it?
Genf?! HA! Frog part o’ the CH….
WRONG SIDE OF THE RÖSTI DITCH!
Well, we’re going to buy a hospital. So I’ll be scarce for awhile. Don’t worry, I’m probably not dead. Although based on today’s call, I can think of a couple of my colleagues in the legal profession who may not make it much longer.
Neat. Be sure to get your cut of the sale. That’s how it works, right?
R C is The Big Guy?
They wanted to make you work during your last days.
Well, we’re going to buy a hospital.
So you can shut it down?
They’re going into show business to make movies about bawdy nurses and their randy patients and needed an appropriate filing location.
The company my nephew works for, worked on the Starliner. So stuff he actually worked on is now in space and docking with the ISS. He worked on the oxygen system. His mom, my sister, is a huge sci-fi fan. She is over the moon.
She is over the moon.
So to speak. As it were.
What I did there, you saw it.
Holy shit.
Is that supposed to horrify me? I think it’s absolutely wonderful.
Exactly.
Not when it’s embedded in city codes everywhere.
Not horrified, but not sure why it’s wonderful either. Kinda a big Meh for me.
I got “The North Avenue Irregulars” DVD and the kids are watching it for the second time in a week. Winning!
I taught myself “piano” on a good quality keyboard trying to replicate Bangelis “Chariots of Fire.”
My friend / neighbor who’d been taking piano lessons all her life hated that I could listen and then play the keys. Now that I look back on it, that’s a weird dynamic. Why should my playing keys make her mad? It’s not like I took anything away from her.
Also, Rest In Peace, Vangelis.
Missed my train. Walking the 15k.home. Listening to some Carly Simon. “You’re with an underworld spy or the wife of a close friend.”
Amazing lyric.
Terrible, Terrible. Fuck.
My fucked up life continues to further fucked. In hospit w a fucking broken femur. Some asshole punched me and I fell.
Nightmarish pain. indescribable. Fuuuuuck this shit.
I’m Rodney Dangerfield.
I got no luck. No luck at All. except for Lady, who is a damn legit Saint.
Gets worse. Fracture is near my titanium hip. There is a small, but reas, possibility that I’ll need a replacement. VERY small chance, but real. Gotta be assessed on Mon.
I hate all of this. I was supposed to play goodbye show on Sat and this was on Fri. This is not the goodbye I wanted, and I’ll have to stay here longer. Can’t travel w my life w a hurt femur.
FUCK.
Dood, we need to get you back to the States before you break yourself irretrievably, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally
A broken femur is what as known in medical parlance as a BiG FREAKING DEAL.
Please come home to the US and let us help you.