Stupid times demand silly movies!
If you take an old Italian zombie flick, mix it with new and repurposed footage then overdub everything with new voices of victims screaming for hand sanitizer as they are eaten, you most definitely have a winner. This winner is brought to us by Charles Band, long may he direct. Ever inventive, Charles found a way to keep cranking out content during lockdowns. It’s the What’s Up, Tiger Lilly principal of repurposing old film footage to make a new movie. Corona Zombies also draws from the playbook of Godfrey Ho, king of mixing multiple unrelated films.
Our movie is bookended by two lovely women: Cody Renee Cameron and Robin Sydney. They work well to fill space in between the action footage. Those two must be popular as two more movies were made with them playing the same characters. See below for details:
- Barbie and Kendra Storm Area 51: Appears to be a continuation in style and substance of Corona Zombies. This time you see repurposed sci-fi movie footage and aliens with corona virus heads. I have yet to digest this film completely as my various family members keep telling me to “turn that off.” I take that as a good sign.
- Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King: I like it. I am going to post it later. It’s ridiculous. Barbie and Kendra just sit there and watch the Tiger King and comment while wearing various wondrous outfits.
I should have played this six months ago. I’ve been slacking! This whole pandemic needed a shit load of snarking and Charles Band delivers. Naturally, he had various and sundry pricks saying “Ooooh, this is so crass!” Screw ’em Charles. Keep making movies. Some people even said this movie was a hot mess, cranked out in a month! The gall!
…
Okay, it’s a hot mess. But it’s a fun hot mess. Human raccoons like myself will enjoy it. Break out the drinks and laugh! Life’s too short to watch Citizen Kane over and over again. Come have some garbage! Watch! Or Don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week, we play “Could they make this now” with Forbidden Zone, Richard Elfman’s labor of love.
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*hits play*
Hey, I was otherwise occupied this week. Ironically the wife caught coronavirus. She’s fine, we were laughing about tonight’s post.
Anyway, how is your mom? I have missed comments all week.
She’s in “acute rehab” now, and soon will move to “sub-acute rehab” because medicare will only pay for so much “acute rehab” — it’s all bullshit.
Anyway, she is slowly getting better.
This is good.
👍🏼👍🏼
It’s good that she is getting better.
Glad to hear
This whole pandemic needed a shit load of snarking and Charles Band delivers.
This is promising. Diving in!
Valley girl talk. Yuck.
Nice. This was a smoke-night go-to in college.
I saw it at a bar called the Fox and Hound in San Francisco one night while waiting for Hunter S. Thompson to show up and terrorize some college kids.
Googling yields primarily what I was reminded of: The Pig and Whistle, our neighborhood dive when I lived there.
But it’s an untrendy neighborhood so we weren’t ever waiting for anybody interesting to show up.
This was probably 30 years or more ago. The bar had been spray painted black at the time. He had come down to Survival Research Labs that afternoon and ran around like a man possessed. Way too much drugs.
Mine was 26 years ago.
Jeez…
God, I miss SRL. Super cool stuff.
Illusions of Shameless Abundance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cp7aD0q63g
Is Suppenkuche still doing it’s thing?
*googles*
Never heard of it, but that’s probably still a neighborhood to avoid.
I used to amble over there all the time when I’d visit SF. It’s a great place.
**don’t ruin my memories of the city before it went to shit**
I have some great memories of there; but yeah, the voters and the activists who preyed on them turned it into shit. NYC is somewhat saner in comparison.
Nice one. I haven’t even heard of that bar so it must be long gone. I believe I met HST one late afternoon when he came into my dad’s shop ranting and raving about his ride down from Seattle and showing me the classic ride he had that he had totally smashed the passenger side fender and door in due to “some maniac that tried to kill me, drove me straight off the highway.” A few months later I was in a bookshop and saw the cover for the Great Shark Hunt and damn if it didn’t look very much like that crazy guy.
A buddy of mine did meet him once in the lobby of the famous Mitchell Bros. Porn Theatre. He said Hunter came down into the lobby from some upstairs office and had coke all over his nose. My friend told him about it and he leaned backwards toward the ceiling, took his bottle of Heineken and poured a healthy amount down his nostrils. He then came up and said, “did that take care of it?”
VCR = visible cocaine residue – made more sense in the ’80s.
lol
Sometimes I feel like a bump but I wouldn’t touch anything these days I didn’t harvest and produce myself.
“Why is everyone drinking beer?”
“But I love that rap group!”
Oh I like this!
“Moderate to severe death”
🙂
Crabby dubbing…
Life’s too short to watch Citizen Kane over and over again.
You go too far, RJ! Good day, sir!
Heh heh.
FALs?
CETMEs
Doh’t
And those Thompson knock-off subguns…I can’t remember the name but I’ll find it eventually…
“Take them alive!”
“Shoot the son of a bitch!”
“Wrong guy!”
Good enough for government work!
I really enjoyed all the new overdubbed dialog.
Barbie is absolutely my type.
Now you have three movies to watch – If you can! My brain started smoking halfway through movie #2.
Baltimore. Good place for it.
Hitting the sack early tonight so I can MOVE TOMORROW. OMG.
Exciting news!
What’s the weather forecast? All moving days in the northern hemisphere between the vernal and autumnal equinoxes invariably occur on the hottest day of the year.
Not too bad – mid 80’s & partly cloudy, at least up here in the DC area. I hope we’re not chasing the rain that came through north-to-south today.
It’ll hopefully be better than the harrowing drive I had in May when it was “turn on hazard blinkers and slow to a crawl” rain.
The question is – when does one unhook the cable box? I’m leaning toward tomorrow morning.
Hopefully it goes well.
a bra in the shower?
Yeah. A bra in the shower.
That outdoor shot looks more like Camden than Cherry Hill.
This must have been some weird Italian zombie movie.
I have already forgotten which one it was. I had seen it before. And Charles did a hell of a job re-editing that with some zombie stripper movie he had made.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, you could end up watching a kung fu film that came on after Corona Zombies, where the main guy has “elder” eyebrows and a Hitler mustache made of white fuzzy felt.
“Out of respect, we should be filming him!”
I laughed. Loudly.
Yeah, me too.
The Greatest Shot In Television
Occasionally, youtube’s algorithms feed me something worthwhile.
Timing is everything in showbiz.
I remember that shot when it was broadcast in the 70s.
I watched the whole series and bought the book, too.
I think he also did a monthly column in Scientific American for a while.
After that I got one of those wonderful autist geography videos, this one about some of the oddities of the border between the US and Canada. Those guys need to talk about 20% less fast.
Got a check from Texas tuition plan. Have reached out to FirstWife (first time since DexTXjr graduated college, so fivish years) offering to sign it and FedEx it to her to dispose of. Each half is $1,000.
How much and in what fashion should I be punished for naively but openly and generously trying to split an old asset, literally found money (this is a genuine case of how to use the word literally, kids!), with my ex wife?
My 9 yr. old granddaughter used the word “literally” last week. I asked her what it meant. She said “actually.” If a nine year old gets it, why don’t older kids, and adults?
That was trippy. Thanks RJ!
Thanks! Enjoy the evening!
Thanks RJ 🙂
Another evening spent. Another movie down. I am
approaching the one year mark.
Re: Rittenhouse’s proposed “Turkeyshoot” video game, I recalled this wondrous German PC game from 1999.
It was called Moorhuhn Jagt, which I think is pretty close to Pheasant Hunt. It was meant as an advertisement for Johnnie Walker.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=clkATEge9m4
No idea if a playable version still exists out there; this is a YouTube demo.
Shooting birds and windmills. Just replace with rioters and store fronts!
Keith Olberman yells at cloud:
https://mobile.twitter.com/michaelmalice/status/1539994287890636803?cxt=HHwWhoDR3aiplN8qAAAA
Threading fail :/
The Zombie-Apocalypse Kill Switch (ZAKS)
That was a fun read; definitely strays into hardcore tinfoil hat territory.
I’m starting to think the phrase “Bible Prophecy” can almost always be safely assumed to mean “Imma throw some shit at the wall along with a couple Bible verses and see if it sticks”
https://archive.ph/uBVTI/ec0b8ee1321fb10bad27da729e4ccd19290f6b45.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/CXdZg/a687e53d4d7e968c845cef41dfa0b7e67953aa41.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/vlRP3/219520c64f10cd32b0a31b092fb9370a8a51ffc3.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/AzaTw/d1f7f61e519cc0b788e3fcd84adf6334a1c69ada.webp
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/u28LH/683b4e093aaed3c8cfa205b90a57f871c0b7a8f0.jpg
NSFW.
The cross is a nice touch. She must be really observant.
Classier than the rest.
Second photo is well done also.
OK, the intro music has me hooked at this point
“Wu-Han? But I love that rap group!”
Bat Soup for the win
HAHAH …”Brown Boveri Turbomat 1122″
I may have actually seen one of those in real life
OMG this movie is fucking amazing
“Who knew there was one more native village, right smack in the middle of Baltimore?”
“Nothing like a tight ass and a face full of clown makeup to help try and solve a worldwide pandemic!”
Db, these were good lines from the movie, but the best was: “I haven’t seen this much smoke since that snoop Dogg concert.”
Stupid ass me, I could have had my desktop back up and running last Friday. Seems the tiny little connecters for ‘Power’ and ‘Reset’ got put on the wrong pins by my sausage fingers. Well, at least I figured this out before I unboxed the new PSU that came today, that should make it easier to return.
Never hurts to keep a spare around…
Had the damn thing up and running in the other room, came and plugged all the components back in, it started up…then beeped at me and shut off. I think the video card might have gone. Damnit. I’ll pull all back out and check it out over the weekend or monday. Might as well order a new video card, I can always return it if I find something else is the culprit. Damnit.
Them launching the zodiac into the surf.!
I found it guys, ISIS Auto, it was so obvious
That was awesome. I’m spreading it around.
I never particularly cared for Emma Watson, but now I have to say I have active disdain for her. The little cunt said she would return to Harry Potter if JK Rowling wasn’t involved.
The vapid, talentless cunt only has a career because of Rowling. How ungrateful can you be?
That millions of libertarians and conservatives would be rooting for Rowling shows how beyond parody the left is.
Never mind that TERFS and evangelical Christians are in bed together on the tranny thing.
Yup. Crazyworld.
I just spent 20 fucking minutes putting up the daily Quordle and got an internal server error. Not doing it again.
Let’s see if I can get the music links to go through…
Plant
Page
Have you seen this one with the other surviving member of Led Zeppelin? It’s pretty sweet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH0-WXUFY2k
Bonus for me for having one of my favorite bassists, guitarists, singers, and drummers in the same video.
Cool tune. Haaaate the reason they all did it.
This is especially science-deaf:
I’ve watched a bunch of their videos, but never paid attention to what Playing for Change was for, outside of “promoting peace” around the world.
I’ve never understood the connection between “peace” and “environmental justice and sustainability”. I guess it’s all just a mishmash of lefty gobbeltygook.
Yeah. The best we can do is ignore the bullshit as much as we can and just enjoy the music.
Yeah, stop thinking about ruining led Zeppelin for me, just stop.
Also, I’ve literally designed levees, so… Yeah, I think it’s a great song.
The reason for the pause of the Jan 6th hearings has been revealed.
So Obi Wan is responsible for 30+ years of further terror by the empire. Nice writing Disney you fuck heads
I should be glad I haven’t watched it?
Yes.
It should have been billed as Leia’s Origin Story: help of an emaciated old man that is supposedly one of the most powerful Jedis ever but is a big pussy now.
Thanks. I have a coworker who is a huge Star Wars fan and rationalizes all the shit I couldn’t stand about Eps 7-9. It will be interesting to hear his take.
By contrast, I hated 7 so much that I’ve never seen 8 and 9, thought Rogue One was decent but not great, and thought Solo was meh.
I can’t even find a part I would say.. that was okay. The Christmas Special was easier to re-watchz
General Obi-wan, you fought with my father in the clone wars, and we had an adventure when I was a little kid, Obi-wan Kenobi, you are my only hope.
9 years ago I can’t remember you even though I traveled across the galaxy with you. God what horseshit
I wouldn’t watch another Disney Star Wars product if you fucking paid me.
That said, Obi is a white male so him being awful is pretty much to be expected. What exactly happened?
Beat Vader and let him go, written as Obi’s “redemption” arc.
It fucks up the stories of TWO key characters. Two birds, one stone. That’s efficiency!
When the older new stuff is redeemed only by the terribleness of the newer new stuff it’s time to put the franchise to bed.
Well, Kathleen Kennedy said “I really hate those die hard Stars Wars fans so hire a bunch of no-talent hacks who think they’re gender fluid unicorns to write the new stuff and encourage them to be obnoxious about it.”
Gardening as it nears 100°F that. Make a stupid meme instead.
https://imgflip.com/i/6kp4sa
Hahaha God I hate this timeline and yet laugh
Angry, incoherent puppet is my favorite president of my lifetime.
He’s like your kindly uncle who’s turned spiteful and nasty.
I can’t take take ten seconds of listening to that asshole.
Yeah, don’t do it. I cut some drywall outside last night and it was miserable, and it’s not even a strenuous activity.
I waited till dusk and got 3 hours in. The previous owner left the yard untended for 3 years. It’s not that big, but after 8 hours over the past three days it’s beginning to look passable.
Got around to reading Kbolino’s Alt right pipeline piece. Very interesting. As Morpheus says, it’s the question that drives us. I’ve seen a few people just to the “post libertarian” camps and, frankly, I don’t see it as “post libertarian” but rather a re embracing of statism and collectivism. “I wanna win for a change!” Fine, but if you do that you’ve embraced might makes right. Hey, it’s a philosophy so just own it.
I’ve gotten around that by simply accepting that I may never get what I want. So be it. I’m going to subvert govt policy as much as I can and sour as many people as possible on the solutions they enact which restrict the behaviors of peaceful people. It may sound solely reactionary, but I don’t see it that way. I can pull weeds everyday and, still, news pop up. That is life and I’m not fighting for utopia. I’m fighting dystopia. The beauty of this philosophy is that by rejecting the collectivist ideology, you will always be able to keep your principles.
The one concession I’ll give the post libertarians is to prioritize what is to be opposed and what I can ignore for the time being.
‘I’ve gotten around that by simply accepting that I may never get what I want.’
You sound like one of them there alt right stoics.
Seriously though, good on people like Dave Smith, etc. But I can’t stay that upset about everything either.
“The one concession I’ll give the post libertarians is to prioritize what is to be opposed and what I can ignore for the time being.”
Yup, I want legalized heroin but I’m not going to lead with that either. Way, way down on the list I’m afraid.
My first ask is always horse.
It becomes less frustrating as a libertarian once you realize that most people aren’t libertarians although they often hold libertarianish views on specific issues and that, as you say, you won’t get what you want politically. No need banging your head against the wall fighting human nature.
Most libertarians aren’t anarchists, so I can’t even get the subset of a subset to go with me. But it’s 🤩
Why did I just find this NSFW
Apparently, they do quite a bit of their songs….
I find such displays a degradation of my traditional culture.
Honestly, I really think it is a shame that we’ve but done anything with classical music with listening to in the past 100 years. Music is the one thing I don’t have a talent for though. I will be trying to learn the piano though… I have no hope of being a composer.
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Show off.
Honestly, even though my seed words are not mathematically-ideal, they have gotten me a (disproportionate?) number of 2’s and even a 1 (once).
Mornin’ all.
Gym time.
Rain during the overnight here in southern NH. I won’t have to water the new tree.
Good morning DEG, Tulip, Lack, Stinky, and Scruffy! Lurkers, come out, come out wherever you are!
Exactly halfway through the Zoom video of Tuesday night’s Board meeting to write up the minutes. MUCH less onerous than years ago when I had to fiddle around with a cassette, even after I’d actually attended the meeting [**SHUDDER**] and scribbled notes in real time.
*ding* turn the page.
::suffers flashback to elementary school filmstrips. Old facial tic returns::
Good morning, U! How are you today?
Burnt out.
I ended up spending until 8pm last night reviewing candidate applications for a consultant position we’re trying to hire for. New supervisor scheduled a meeting to discuss it right when I’d most want some of my comp time (friday afternoon.) So I’m in the office looking at a calendar with 3.5 hours of meetings on it (a light day) spaced out such that they block most of the day.
I got to sleep before 9pm, woke up at 5:40 and I’m still tired. The only middle of the night wake up I recall was a 4am glance at the clock, which is fairly normal.
So I’m still a bit grumpy.
You got three more hours of sleep than I did.
Last night was the only night this week where I got 6 hours or more.
😟
For those who schedule business meeting on Friday afternoons, there is surely a special place in Hell.
Hang on!
Meetings always pile up on Fridays lately. I have a crushing deadline to get a demo out on a huge new project but it’s perfectly acceptable to throw three or four meetings up today to jabber about project plans and shit.
Oh come now, the project managers need to put something on their weekly reports as an achievement. “Met with stakeholders to discuss…” is as good as actually doing work.
Congratulations, GT, looks like you may make it to the weekend. Ain’t modern technology great?
Good morning, ‘patzie! Yup, modern technology IS great…when it works! ::resumes fuming over cancelled grocery “curbside pickup” order from Monday::
How’s every little thing in your corner of the world?
Livin’ the dream in my palatial estate in the PRNJ. Got a slack message this morning from the co-worker who has been working on the application issues with me for the last week: “NO ALERTS TODAY!!!” Two days in a row, stability is just around the corner.
I’ll be working on the 4th identical workaround for a bug that the vendor fixed but we can’t apply it in production just yet. Another user story, another pull request, more change management, gaafw2AAaewiiieee!
“gaafw2AAaewiiieee”?
I hope that’s not an acronym.
I thought you were up to date on your business speak.
What is this “change management”? Real men just hack production.
‘Member those days. Fun times.
I remember having to clean up the messes people like that caused.
Been there meself, UCS. Power user deleting a security, leaves off SQL where clause identifying the security and hilarity ensues. DB (me) managed to kill the transaction before commit, then waited 3 hours while the transaction was rolled back at 3 replication targets. Fun times indeed.
My mom worked with one of those foot-pedal things where she could slow down and speed up the tapes that boss-lady dictated.
I always found that odd. I am more written word than talk – I couldn’t possibly dictate a stream of anything sensible.
Ah! The good ol’ Dictaphone! 😃 Or maybe there’s another name for similar modern devices. I THINK a friend of mine who does transcription at home (Currently business, especially things like shareholder meetings, but she used to do medical) may use or have used something like that.
Yeah, that sounds right.
This was back when company presidents couldn’t be bothered to learn WordStar, I guess. I worked in that office after school and summers – my god, an eight-hour day was torture.
That was when there was still such a thing as a secretarial pool. Why would an executive do their own typing?
I would have been the type-my-own executive. I can’t stand talking for long periods of time.
You’ve already made it clear you’re not management material.
That’s my aim.
Gotta give my boss props – he writes his own memos and just has me proofread them.
He even put some of the highlights of last month’s financial reports into his very own Powerpoint presentation for the Board meeting! (And I didn’t have to do a thing with it!)
Morning, GT
Hey there, straff!! 🙂 What time of day is it where you are? (::too lazy to look it up myself::)
8:30 on a wonderful, warm late June evening. Anything better than a cold one on the porch at that time?
My back patio faces southeast, so I’m partial to having my iced mocha latte there in the morning. But only on weekends, else I’d never get my butt to work in the morning.
Maybe eat more fiber?
Mornin’, reprobates. I may finally be able to retire! I am getting daily emails from Publishers Clearing House; apparently all I need to do is claim the winning prize number by visiting their website. Well, claim *my* prize number, but that’s sure to be the winner, right?
Ummm…sure!
Not to wee-wee in your Wheaties, but I just got a mental image of a SWAT team posing as the PCH Prize Patrol, complete with confetti, balloons, and bimbos, in order to fool some poor unsuspecting suspect into opening their front door…
You win… a free one-year subscription to Highlights magazine!
Flash poll: Who here is Goofus?
OK, now, who’s Gallant?
Thanks, rhy, now I am having flashbacks to childhood doctor visits.
Only place I see magazines in waiting rooms anymore is at the barber shop. Apparently all the magazines have been recycled into masks
Barber shops always had the best magazines. I suspect Q got a lot of hair cuts as a yute.
Unless you get Ed McMahon to deliver the check I’m not going to be impressed.
That fits the theme of the post.
Hello Old friends! hows things out there in Glibertopia?
/bug lunch
Yo! Wouldn’t “Drive all day and go broke” be a more appropriate handle in these troubled times?
I thought it was a golf reference.
I deliver parts to auto dealers and mechanics, all in a ten mile radius, so the name fits.
You may need to call Safelight to fix your windshield. Or stop grinning so much while you’re driving.
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Morning, friends. Dark, dark, this morning. Hope the power stays on long enough to make my oatmeal. Got back up anyway.
We’re having a very nice June, frequent, heavy rains. Driveway has washed but the F150 just doesn’t care.
Last year was a June-July drought but on the average..
Guess the website that wrote this headline!
Reason?
No one needs an aircraft carrier, unless one wants to meddle in others’ affairs
Oh noes! No serial #.
Now Hokum wants to ban handguns literally based on “population density”.
I wish they would just come right out and say what they really mean.
Mornin peeps.
Morning
::stares pointedly at wristwatch:: You’re late!
Good morning anyway! 😊
Mornin’
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/pilot-reports-seeing-jet-pack-near-lax-again/
Jet packs! Fun!
suh’ fam
yo whats goody
Server errors.
Always effects the tip.
Izzat why we have no lynx?
Who knows.
Maybe I’ll go and do more work.
🙁
It’s because we don’t deserve them.