About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

227 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Is it just me or is 2022 worse than 2020?

    • Sean

      Yes, but at least masks (mostly) went away in 2021.

      • Homple

        A lot of masks have been torn off, hurled to the ground and stomped into fragments since 2016.

    • grrizzly

      What do you expect when it’s literally called twenty-twenty-too?

    • SDF-7

      Not just you — but it makes sense. They’ve had 2 years to grind things to crap after being given too much power in response to panic-demic.

      The alternate reality where people enforced election laws and didn’t let courts sidestep them is I suspect still not as good as 2020, but humming along. Enjoy your timeline, alternate me!

    • Fatty Bolger

      Not worse, but a lot more foreboding IMO. Stupidity reigns, and dark clouds are on the horizon.

    • whiz

      Well, I’m retired now, so 2022 is pretty nice 🙂

    • Plinker762

      The supply chain is worse this year

  2. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Mars, the only known planet to be entirely populated by robots.

    • SDF-7

      “Observation: Only for now, meat sack.”

    • Tonio

      …that we know of. Granted, the chances are pretty slim of finding any existing life there, but I’m still holding out hope for fossils.

      • Animal

        I’d be more interested to find out what’s under the icepack on Europa. I hope I live long enough to see that question answered.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        I think I saw that movie:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLBxd2xxnZ4
        And it looks like it is free on YouTube, so I highly recommend it!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pelosi is from Mars?

      • DrOtto

        I suspect the reality is life won’t develop on other planets in our system until the sun begins to expand and offer more life sustaining conditions on those planets. Of course, the sun will eventually expand to such a size that it will consume this planet. At that point the global warming alarmists can finally proclaim victory.

    • Walford

      And spider people living in the underground caves

      • Chafed

        +1 Ziggy Stardust

    • Ted S.

      To be fair, it’s not the kind of place to raise your kids.

      • kinnath

        In fact, it’s cold as hell.

      • C. Anacreon

        And there’s no one there to raise them
        If you did. Except robots, of course.

  3. Count Potato

    ““Mars might be 300 million miles away, but it’s not immune from trash.”

    Martians living in trailers collecting checks.

    • juris imprudent

      Odds on it being fraudulent PPP versus redirected foreign aid?

    • whiz

      NASA’s exploration of Mars has led to some exciting discovers.

      I’m glad they have editors so fix things like this… er, never mind.

      • Tonio

        It’s a gee-whiz, filler article. There is plenty of trash on Mars: heat shields, aeroshells, parachutes, dead landers…

      • C. Anacreon

        …scripts for Matt Damon….

  4. Count Potato

    “In a company-wide town hall Thursday, Elon Musk said his focus would be profit, excising “boring” content, and allowing users to say “outrageous” things.”

    So more like 4chan, not that he wants it more like a Chinese spy app.

      • invisible finger

        They are used to safe spaces for their hatred.

      • Sensei

        It’s called SpaceX for a reason!

      • Sensei

        That’s a given. They knew that when they fired them.

      • R C Dean

        In a sane world, this would not be about working conditions at the company:

        Elon’s behavior in the public sphere is a frequent source of distraction and embarrassment for us, particularly in recent weeks,” the letter states. “As our CEO and most prominent spokesperson, Elon is seen as the face of SpaceX — every Tweet that Elon sends is a de facto public statement by the company. It is critical to make clear to our teams and to our potential talent pool that his messaging does not reflect our work, our mission, or our values.”

        Complaining about an owner’s behavior at work, sure. Complaining about his behavior not at work (“in the public sphere”), nope. And no, not every statement made by a CEO in public is a de facto statement by the company. I don’t think, for example, his statements as the CEO of Twitter are de facto statements by SpaceX. Nor do I think his observations about things that have nothing to do with SpaceX are de facto statements by SpaceX.

        But, and trust me on this, the NLRB is completely off the rails, in a way nobody has seen in the past. So if they file a complaint, the NLRB will uphold it, because the Deep State hates Elon Musk.

      • rhywun

        Yup, it is of course a political attack.

  5. juris imprudent

    “If someone is getting stuff done, great, I love them. If they’re not, why are they at the company?”

    That’s got to make the blood of the woke and useless run real cold.

    • SDF-7

      He’s not wrong…. and one of the answers is that article someone linked a bit back (don’t remember exact link or time just now) that a lot of jobs, HR especially are to give the over educated (because college became the *must do* instead of encouraging trades where it made sense) children of the “elite” make work, effectively.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yup. There’s nothing about a lesbian incan period blood art studies degree that qualifies somebody to do anything at a fortune 500 corporation, but yet they’re lousy with those types.

    • Raven Nation

      Generally a complete lack of understanding of how a company functions. You need to be doing something that adds value, for the most part.

      It’s on a parallel with all the college grads who have a career goal of working for non-profits. Where, exactly, does the wealth to fund your non-profit come from if everything becomes non-profit.

      • SDF-7

        “I’ve been in the private sector! They expect *results!*”

      • Chafed

        One of the the best throw away lines.

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      One of the things I have noticed over the years, is a company that is on the way up doesn’t worry about the small things. Like how much is spent on lunch everyday, how many extra people get hired, and so one, because the are focused on growth. Once growth stops, however it is measured, then and only then do they start bean counting.

      • invisible finger

        Lots of that growth is just growth in debt; the cost per new customer usually grows too but its ignored. Then when the loans come due, bean counters are hired and they realize just how much they are losing on each new customer.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        My wife sent me an article from the Atlantic (I know, I know) about how all the Urban living, smart phone assisted, lifestyle businesses such as Grubhub, Uber, and so on, are drastically raising costs. This is due not getting enough new clients aboard per the cost of advertising and competing.

        https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2022/06/uber-ride-share-prices-high-inflation/661250/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

      • invisible finger

        Not bad for post-2010 Atlantic. I’d be asking for too much to see the word “malinvestment”.

      • grrizzly

        I’m pretty sure the likes of Home Chef, Hello Fresh and Blue Apron (there are at least half a dozen companies like these) are not making any money on me. I cancel the service once I’m done with all the discounts, switch to another company, get that company’s discounts and so on. And a couple of months later (or maybe even earlier) the first company starts sending me emails with new discounts to resume the service.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        They. Jesus Christ, I cannot spell when I am in an opium fog.

      • Tonio

        Opium? Damn, that’s classy, Zwak.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I know, I just have lighter fluid and Ajax. I need to up my game

      • Tonio

        Huffing is sooooo middle school.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Nah, I just had back surgery so they have loaded me up with Hydrocodone. The bottle has a big OPIOD sticker on top, to distract thieves?

      • SDF-7

        And here I thought you were just going old school to welcome our new communist overlords or something.

      • Tonio

        Wishing you a good recovery.

      • Count Potato

        Get well soon.

        And don’t mix booze with tylenol.

      • R.J.

        Move your pills to another bottle and fill the OPOID one with industrial strength diuretic pills.

      • DrOtto

        LOL

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Knowing that I would be the one making the forgetful mistake.

    • Plisade

      The Woke and the Useless. Woke soap opera?

      • C. Anacreon

        Followed by, on many of these same stations, its new spinoff soap, “The Broke and the Toothless”.

  6. Shpip

    Tesla CEO Elon Musk spoke to Twitter employees en masse for the first time on a call Thursday to answer their questions on his anticipated $44 billion purchase of the company. While the world’s richest man offered some insight into his managerial style, he didn’t seem keen to grant workers much comfort or hope for the future, and he gave an outline of what direction the company would take.

    How about “You do the job I’m paying you to do, and comfort yourself and hope for your future on your own goddamn time.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The current Twitter workers sound as spoiled as fuck, just coddled way too much.
      Get back to work!!!

      • hayeksplosives

        I wonder what the median and average ages of the Twitter employees are, and how many identify as something other than XX or XY?

    • invisible finger

      Increased profits and increased profit margins sound like comfort and hope.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        “We are the change we have been waiting for”

        “Yeah, spare change”

      • Grosspatzer

        Hope your back heals quickly, Zwak. If not, hydrocodone helps.

        And have a little spare change (NSFW)

    • C. Anacreon

      Speaking of lectures, yesterday I was at a medical conference, where one of the speakers was some old codger talking about Covid response. His ending lines of his talk were “the one thing I found most disturbing from the pandemic was the number of people with libertarian ideas out there, who are much more concerned about their individual liberty and rights than what’s best for others! These people are a menace, I’m sure you all agree. We need to think in a Communitarian way, so that we are all taking care of each other instead of only thinking of yourself. Thank you.”

      Who knew libertarians were such a formidable juggernaut! 🤔

      I was so tempted to stand up and say to the crowd of 400 or so, “Hi all, in regards to the last presenter’s comments, can I lead us all in a resounding chant of “Fuck off, slaver!”?

      But of course, I’d prefer to still have a career, so I didn’t.

      • Sean

        Fucking commies.

      • R.J.

        I can’t improve on that statement.
        Fucking commies.

      • rhywun

        Also, fucking commies.

  7. Gender Traitor

    Even with “close x” on it, the “Sign up for Patch Notes” pop-up in the first link WON’T CLOSE!!! 😠

    • Gender Traitor

      …and now that I’ve called it out, of course it does. 🙄

      • Tonio

        Thanks for pushing SkyNet into self-awareness, GT.

  8. Tundra

    Who’s ready?

    Me!

    Hiya Riven! I hope you are well.

    • Translucent Chum

      Ready! And in honor of Real Genius! A tune to slide into the weekend.

      • Tundra

        Great song, great Austin Healy and $1.45 gas.

        Where’s that fucking time machine?

        Appropriate.

      • Sensei

        Susan : Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
        Chris Knight : Not right now.
        Susan : A girl’s gotta have her standards.

    • Riven

      I am doing well today, many thanks!

      Got some sun in and now I’m just doing some homework. Joy is mine.

      And yourself?

      • Tundra

        Loving the CO sunshine!

        My son was just up in MT fishing and now wants to leave CO and move there!

  9. EvilSheldon

    Stop toying with my emotions, Team Cherry…

    • Riven

      Yours and mine both T_T

      In all seriousness, Team Cherry could string me along for another 5 years if they wanted to. Hollow Knight was so good, I have no doubt that Silksong is worth waiting for–especially if it’s going to be anywhere near as fab as HK.

      I can wait, Team Cherry, as long as it takes.

  10. SDF-7

    Ok — so you didn’t see that coming… but did you see this coming?

    • Riven

      Well, that was a trip!

  11. UnCivilServant

    “Elon Tells Twitter Employees: Make It Less Boring, More Like TikTok”

    Which is it, less boring, or more like TikTok?

    • Fatty Bolger

      Say what you want about TikTok, but their recommendation algorithm is on point.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can say a lot of things, Most damning of which is ‘Tencent’.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Which is less than fiddycent!

      • Gender Traitor

        The CCP knows what you want to see?

        Or what they want you to want to see?

    • Walford

      So you are saying to make it more like Glibertarians?

      • UnCivilServant

        Curmudgeonly anti-government? Sure.

  12. kinnath

    Daily Quordle 144
    5️⃣🟥
    8️⃣4️⃣

    Fuck quordle.

    Perfect end to a shitty day.

    • SDF-7

      Don’t feel too bad. I f’ed it up even worse. Not a full on “SDF”… but pretty bad.

    • rhywun

      “Whew.”

      Daily Quordle 144
      5️⃣8️⃣
      3️⃣4️⃣

    • Chafed

      You can’t have an opinion. You’re not an astrologer.

    • whiz

      That’s cool.

      … roughly about a half hour before sunrise.

      Too bad I won’t be seeing them.

  13. Nephilium

    It’s thankfully a Friday, I’m home, and I’ve got tickets to what should hopefully be a good show on Sunday. So here’s the link for the Zoom/Happy Hour/Sanity check which will be kicked off at 20:00 Eastern.

    • Sensei

      And for many of us in financial services we now have “Juneteenth” off as well.

      • rhywun

        I got three hours off, and it’s already over. 🙁

    • Animal

      Date night with Mrs. Animal tonight, but I’ll be around (and probably drunk) for tomorrow’s Zoom.

  14. Ownbestenemy

    Im a year away from wanting to move and I am getting a dark feeling I won’t be able to sell the house.

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      Can you sell it now and still rent it for a while?

      I know my father did that once, while waiting for his new place to be built.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We are hoping we can sell one house at a minimum (in-laws are most likely moving with us) and then rent the other one. So its not as forboding I guess.

    • Tonio

      Hopefully, you’d be able to rent it out, even though being a long-distance landlord has its drawbacks.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Maybe depends on where you are, but I doubt that will be the case. There’s still a fundamental shortage of housing, and it’s likely that new construction will be suppressed more than anything.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Vegas and Henderson are still growing like crazy but Lake Mead and the Colorado River are being so mismanaged.

      • SDF-7

        Should have chosen the Yes Man ending instead of letting the NCR keep Lake Mead and Camp Golf.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        There’s still a fundamental shortage of housing

        Color me skeptical. I’ve seen the claim made a few different times, and it strikes me as wishful thinking from most of the people I’ve heard it from. There may be a shortage of single family homes compared to those who wanted one when interest rates are 3%, but that’s a very different thing than a fundamental shortage.

      • Gender Traitor

        “Oh, yes! Definitely a shortage! That’s why we need for you to share this house with these families…”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nope cause concerned citizen Matthew McConaughey is from there and he gave a passioned speech

    • Sensei

      Nailed it

      Jason Koebler
      @jason_koebler
      So:

      Taxpayers:
      – pay for the police
      – pay the private lawyers to defend the police when the police are bad
      – pay for the private lawyers to prevent the release of public records
      – pay for the investigation into the police and any litigation that arises
      – pay out any damages
      12:43 PM · Jun 17, 2022·Twitter Web App

      • Tonio

        -pay for the government lawyers (judges) who rule in the government’s favor

  15. Aloysious

    69 comments @ 251 pm.

    Nice.

    • Count Potato

      Still wondering where the numbers went.

    • SDF-7

      :facepalm:

    • Ownbestenemy

      When the Covid-19 pandemic laid bare racial, health and economic disparities in cities…

      So the public health crises you mismanaged is the reason for you to declare this? Got it. People are fucking stupid.

      • invisible finger

        ” racial, health and economic disparities in cities…”

        I read that as “Democrats are racists.”

      • C. Anacreon

        If you afjust for levels of obesity in different populations, much of the “disparate impact” in the health outcomes data vanishes. But no, let’s keep insisting there’s different health outcomes only because all doctors are racists, and individuals have zero accountability for their own choices, rhey should have identical outcomes regardless of what they do.

    • rhywun

      I think I know what happens next and it’s probably not going to help the tax base there.

  16. Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

    So, OFF-TOPIC EXTRAVAGANZA!!

    On Tuesday I had outpatient back surgery, which, so far, is about as fun as in-patient back surgery. I have only fallen once, spent a day to scared of the pain to get off the couch, or even slide to one side of it, have been taking the max dose of Hydrocodone at a time, and I get it, I really do! I am, however, able to get up and go to the bathroom by myself today (Zwak go potty? Whose a Big Boy!) But I am not allowed to lift over 5lbs for a month, so there will be lots of calls of “wife, WIFE.” So, I got that going for me, which is nice.

    Now, back to your regular snarking.

    • SDF-7

      Glad it went reasonably well, that you aren’t running an illicit opium den or plotting a new Opium War and hope the healing goes well.

      And that your wife doesn’t kill you out of frustration from the “wife, WIFE”. 😉

      In other words — I just wanted to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.

    • invisible finger

      The Biden economy has even raised the cost of orphans. Not being able to carry a 12-pack sucks.

    • Walford

      My wife is a nurse, so unfortunately she has ZERO sympathy left for me whenever I get sick or injured. I heard, “suck it up, you ain’t dying” far too many times.

    • Grosspatzer

      But I am not allowed to lift over 5lbs for a month, so there will be lots of calls of “wife, WIFE.” So, I got that going for me, which is nice.

      Brings back memories. We moved into our current palace 20 years ago. Two weeks before the move I tore my right calf walking up a flight of stairs; since I was on crutches, Mrs. Patzer handled the moving duties while I tried to keep our then one and three year old boys out of the way. 3 days after we moved in I wound up in the hospital with a DVT caused by bleeding out from the torn calf. To this day, she still gives me shit about that.

    • Chafed

      So, no masturbation for a month? Feel better zwak.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Make that lazy wife work for you. Milk it for all it’s worth.

      Get your patriarch on!

  17. Sensei

    Investors Bet One of the Biggest Trades on Wall Street Will Unwind

    The Japanese yen has plunged to a 20-year low, prompting some to wager that the Bank of Japan won’t be able to stick to its ultraloose policy

    Never thought I’d learn more Japanese from the WSJ. In the picture:

    米ドル – bei doru = USD

    What an odd mishmash. It uses a portion of the formal word for the US – 米国 “beikoku” – wonderfully literally read as the country of rice. Plus the katakana for dollar ドル or “doru”.

    • Ted S.

      Japanese uses the simplified ideoglyphs?

      • Sensei

        Three alphabets at the same time.

        Hiragana, katakana, kanji.

        The simplified here is katakana. Used for loan words.

      • rhywun

        I think he’s referring to this guy – 国

      • Sensei

        Might be the same in simplified Chinese. I don’t know.

        It means country.

        中国 Middle Country aka China. I believe it is written the same in simplified Chinese as Japanese.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, the traditional character for ‘country’ is more complicated.

        It is used outside of China – Hong Kong (probably not for long), Taiwan, overseas, etc.

      • Sensei

        And specifically no. Japanese’s uses traditional. It’s just some simplified Chinese still uses the same characters as pre Mao .

      • kbolino

        Japanese has its own simplification system called shinjitai. Some of their simplified characters are the same as Simplified Chinese but most aren’t.

      • Sensei

        That’s right! I read that before and blanked on it.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I never would have expected such a thing from Charlie Sheen’s daughter.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can’t wait for her first OD!

      • hayeksplosives

        #WINNING!

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Can you OD on tiger blood?

    • Tulip

      If you treat as though their only value is sex, don’t be surprised your daughter thinks her only value is sex.

    • rhywun

      Because they’re not hiding it any more.

      • Chafed

        Exactly. It was widely known when she took the job.

      • Animal

        Just like it was widely known she was a diversity hire, and now you’re seeing the consequences.

  18. R C Dean

    “Elon Tells Twitter Employees: Make It Less Boring, More Like TikTok”

    Dayum. That had to leave a mark.

    • rhywun

      That’s not encouraging me to ever want to visit Twitter.

  19. Count Potato

    “An anti-feminist backlash is in full swing, and the latest iteration is the reemergence of the bimbo — this time as a self-styled socialist.

    Yes, this is anti-feminism, even if it’s coming from some version of the left, and even if it’s cast as a joke.

    A significant number of young women are seeing this version of “feminism” peddled as new and edgy on social media, when really it’s just very old and boring conservatism. The bimbo, the stay-at-home girlfriend, the tradwife — these are retrograde stories sold as liberation.

    The rise of the leftist bimbo is not an isolated TikTok trend. It’s part of a greater backlash against women competing with men, and of women claiming an equal right to political, social, cultural, and economic participation….”

    https://twitter.com/JillFilipovic/status/1537880289325682690

    • Count Potato

      “For all of the problems with so-called #GirlBoss feminism — an insulting caricature of female ambition, and a term feminists never embraced but that has somehow been used to deride an entire once-vibrant resurgent feminist movement only tangentially connected to the “female founder” and that never promised anyone could “have it all” — it was a hell of a lot better than the kind of franken-feminism that claims to be anti-capitalist when it’s not about creating new ways of living or mutual dependence, but rather… making sure men maintain a monopoly on economic, political, and social power, and a small handful of women can benefit if those men deem those women worthy. (The women deemed hot and young enough to be worthy, I should note, will at some point no longer be hot and young enough to be deemed worthy of individual male largesse, an inevitability the bimbo-proponents aren’t particularly interested in addressing).

      And it’s a feminism that encourages female ambition that was “never attainable for the vast majority of women”?”

      https://jill.substack.com/p/bimbos-and-the-backlash

      Oh, there it is.

      • kbolino

        I don’t think anyone hired Margaret Hamilton because she was hot and young, since she wasn’t really either, but rather because she could and did develop the software engineering principles that helped get us to the moon.

        The problem with feminism is that its caricature of the past is inaccurate at best and totally wrong at worst, and its solution for the present and future is to leave both men and women unsatisfied and resentful at each other, and every enterprise unable to muster the competence and ambition to achieve great things.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Filipovic is one of the dumber and more malicious thought leaders of the 21st century. She cannot tolerate the idea that people desire different lifestyles than her.

    • rhywun

      I defy a rational person to make any sense out of that.

      I think Orwell had something to say about the ability to issue forth long sequences of words entirely free of any content.

    • creech

      Is this about Kamalinwaiting Harris?

  20. Scruffy Nerfherder

    $1500 to replace a fan motor in a heat exchanger. The motor itself probably costs $150. And that’s on top of the $400 diagnosis fee.

    Guess I’m doing it myself.

  21. Raven Nation

    More consequences of inflation: Australia police say “organized crime groups” are using illegal tobacco sales to to finance drug trafficking and terrorism.

    • rhywun

      Looks like the inflation is in taxes.

      The peak criminal intelligence body has issued the blunt warning as the price for a regular pack of 25 cigarettes in Australia can sell for more than $50 (or $2 a stick), because of the world-highest tobacco taxes.

      Why not just ban them already. That’s sure to work. 🙄

      • Count Potato

        pack of 25?

      • rhywun

        More inflation.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Why do they need to finance drug trafficking?

      • Count Potato

        That seems upside down.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oz doesn’t have an SBA to lend them the startup costs?

      • hayeksplosives

        Because sex *used* to be the opiate of the masses, but they scared everyone off with MonkeyPox, so now opiates have to be the opiate of the masses.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        So, opiates are the monkeypox of the masses?

        No, that can’t be right…

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Monkey opiates are the pox of the masses.

      • Sean

        🤔

    • Tundra

      Perfect.

  22. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The ‘Nothing to see here’ Edition)
    #144

    Champ
    MikeS 18

    whiz 19
    Grummun 19
    Grumbletarian 19
    Ted S. 19
    l0b0t 19
    Not Adahn 19
    QuordleBot 19
    The Hyperbole 20
    rhywun 20
    Sean 21
    Bobarian LMD 21
    Cannoli 22
    one true athena 22
    Tundra 22
    grrizzly 23
    Tulip 23
    trshmnstr the terrible 23
    TARDis 24
    Ozymandias 24
    robc 24
    ScoobaSteve 24
    Grosspatzer 25
    db 25
    Ownbestenemy 30

    Chumps
    kinnath 117
    JG43 118
    SDF-7 211

    Not much to say about that, pretty lackluster day.

    This Week in Quordle – 156 total entries, 20 players posted score at least 6 times, of these whiz had the best average score of 19.4287143 followed closely by grrizzly with 19.57142857, The Hyperbole had the low score with a 16 and l0b0t had the high with 214. Lotsa folks blew their no-chump streaks this week but not Sean who continues apace at 65days chump-free and counting. You can see all the data here if you want, and why wouldn’t you. Grosspatzer defended his title against Cannoli, new tourney bracket is in my handle, anyone who posted 6 or 7 times this week is automatically entered, if that doesn’t include you and you’d like to be in let me know, but be quick about it. The fun starts at midnight and also there’s a chance I’ll get drunk and pass out later tonight.

    • grrizzly

      One needs access to your Google sheet.

      • one true athena

        How the heck am I seeded third? lol

      • The Hyperbole

        Good catch I screwed that up, fixed now.

    • MikeS

      I champed and chumped twice in the same week.

    • Tundra

      Dude is amazingly self aware.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      That might have been me: I believe I posted a “One of us! One of us!” reply to this Tweet of his, and then a link to Glibertarians.com.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        (I meant “to whom should we delegate the authority to invite him to Zoom for his Official Glibbening?”. Sounds like you took care of it 😉 )

    • Gender Traitor

      Ah, but does he just lurk, or does he have a screen name we’ve seen many times?? ::glares suspiciously at everyone currently posting::

      • Tundra

        I didn’t want to out him, but it’s MikeS.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        D00d. Not cool.

      • MikeS

        No comment.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        If you don’t know who the Elon is the comment section, it’s probably you.

      • Gender Traitor

        If I had that much money, I’d replace this crappy carpet.

      • C. Anacreon

        So it will match the drapes?

      • Gender Traitor

        I actually have to dye the drapes to match the carpet. 👩‍🦰 😉

      • Tundra

        Lol.

      • TARDis

        Ha HA!

      • Animal

        Sounds like something Elon would say.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        So, you are saying there is a musky scent to a freshly picked tulpa?

      • tripacer

        Should hold an auction to decide who gets to tell him to “fuck off Tulpa” first.

      • robodruid

        Did he finance the rebuild of the website?

        Its definitely not me.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I think it’s pretty clear it’s Brochettaward (or whatever the fuck)

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Nah. Elon would’ve Firsted by now. Bro’s just a dilettante.

      • Tundra

        It’s gonna be a shock to a lot of people here when it’s revealed that Bro is actually Trump.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Elon delivers. Bro just keeps promising.

      • robodruid

        Well the bro keeps gestating… They way the past 3 years have been, I cant rule out anything.

      • TARDis

        Geez. We’re gonna have a Hindenburg size First at this rate.

      • db

        If I were Elon, I’d pay a strikingly handsome man with an unbeatable mane of golden hair and a sultry voice to represent me on the Zoom. Maybe one who also dabbles in experimental aviation.

      • Tundra

        I almost suggested you, but I figured your ego would go supernova.

      • db

        Would you have noticed?

    • Tundra

      I missed your old avatar. ‘Tis a good one!

      • R.J.

        I remember when you had one of the Hanson Brothers. That was my favorite.

      • Tundra

        Hah! Yeah, I still have the top hat modified one saved. Might have to revisit that one!

  23. Tundra

    Greenwald talks Assange.

    Solid rant.

  24. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Flashback: The neighbor who was causing me all sorts of grief over her stash of precious metals has done exactly what my wife and I predicted she would do. She trusted her vulture friends and they vacated the gold and silver from her premises for “safekeeping.” She is now afraid she won’t get it back and is attempting to get a lawyer behind their backs. There are reports of yelling between her and her “friends” when they visit.

    Mind you, there is no physical record of the assets (probably around $750K at today’s prices) so she is fucked. We warned her not to trust them, but they played on her fears and she took the bait. I half expect I’ll get a call to give a deposition since I’m the only one else who knows what was in the safe. They’re going to need a subpoena because I’m not in the mood after she slandered my wife and me.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was a little difficult not to smile when the other neighbors told us.

      • Tundra

        Still fucking sad, though.

        A reminder that you need your people around you. Always.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It is sad and it was completely avoidable.

        We were getting her set up with a trust to avoid this exact situation.

      • Mojeaux

        “I told you so” == the sweetest phrase in the English language.

  25. C. Anacreon

    So we’ve been sitting on the tarmac for two hours now, waiting for our six hour transcontinental flight to take off. The problem is that the equivalent of the “check engine” light is on and won’t go off no matter what they do in this reportedly brand new plane. They literally just turned off the plane and turned it back on a few minutes ago, the same as the tech reboot of “unplug it and plug it back in”, but to no avail. I have a bad feeling I’m not getting home tonight and this is after having my flight completely canceled yesterday and rebooked for today. Sigh.

    • Sean

      “They literally just turned off the plane and turned it back on a few minutes ago, ”

      Lulz. Tell them to check the thermostat.

    • Tundra

      Drink!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Hello sir, yes, this is Boeing tech support, have you turned it off and back on?”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They should post it to the Boeing forums to see if someone else has found a solution.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        There was a post in the 737Max forum, but the poster never came back to tell them how it turned out.

      • Tundra

        Ouch.

      • grrizzly

        I’m flying on 737Max twice in July.

    • Not an Economist

      A couple of weeks ago, I was supposed to fly home on a Thursday with my mother so she could move into her new place. Got a message when I woke up that one of our flights was canceled. Found out we were booked on 2 separate flights, which wouldn’t work. Called the airline and rebooked for Saturday. Come very early Saturday morning woke up to a text saying our first flight was delayed to the point where we could not make our connection. I called the airline and was told the wait time for someone to talk to was 8 hours (after my flight was supposed to have taken off). Ended up with a flight late on Sunday with her in first class and me in the cabin.

      For some reason I’m not happy.

  26. Tres Cool

    Im going to work.
    Leave a light on.

  27. Tulip

    Daily Quordle 145
    4️⃣5️⃣
    8️⃣6️⃣
    quordle.com
    🟨

  28. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody yo