Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Faces

by | Jun 22, 2022 | Daily Links | 202 comments

The Mites That Live and Breed on Your Face Have Anuses, Genome Study Finds

Scientists have finally unraveled the genetic secrets of humanity’s coziest roommates: Demodex folliculorum, also known as the skin mite. Among other things, the findings confirm that these mites actually do have anuses, contrary to previous speculation. They also indicate that the microscopic animals may not be as potentially harmful as commonly thought and that they’re evolving into co-dependent, symbiotic creatures that might provide us some benefits to boot.

D. folliculorum is actually one of two mite species that call us home, along with Demodex brevis. Both species are arachnids—more closely related to ticks than spiders—but D. folliculorum mites are the ones that usually reside (and mate) on our faces. These stubby worm-shaped critters live for two to three weeks, all the while embedded in our pores, clinging to our hair follicles, and primarily feeding off our sebum, the oily substance provided by our body to protect and moisturize the skin.


Moaning is not part of the female orgasm, new study says

Researchers studying the mysterious female orgasm have concluded that “moaning” is not part of it and should be removed from a scale routinely used to measure the phenomenon.

Women who were pre, peri and post-menopausal were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their orgasm experiences in both solitary and partnered contexts.

They included questions on both the Orgasm Rating Scale (ORS) and the Bodily Sensations of Orgasm Scale (BSOS) – both commonly used in scientific research into the sensation.

The ORS includes things like “trembling”, “quivering”, “building” and “pulsating” – as well as adjectives relating to emotional intimacy, like “loving”, “passionate” and “tender”.

The BSOS includes things like “faster breathing”, “lower limb spasms”, “facial tingling”, “sweating” and “increased heart rate”.

Researchers at the University of Ottawa found various bodily sensations in both scales to be present, including “choppy/shallow breathing”, “increased blood pressure” and “hot flashes”.

But they recommend that “copulatory vocalisations (eg moaning)” should be removed from the BSOS.

It is when I do it, baby.

Additionally, I’ve often thought the the biggest benefit to being homosexual would be dating someone with the same name at you. That way, when you scream out your own name during sex, no one gets mad at you.


Nearly 100 dirt bikes and all-terrain vehicles confiscated by the NYPD were bulldozed Tuesday in New York City’s Brooklyn borough. Mayor Eric Adams called the vehicles, which are illegal on the city’s streets, “extremely dangerous.”

The NYC mayoral office seems to lurch from dipshit to dipshit.

Also, destroy those naughty dirt bikes that force–force, I say!–people to ride them in an unsafe manner.

So many people being influences–nay! controlled!–by inanimate objects these days.


 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

202 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    That way, when you scream out your own name during sex, no one gets mad at you.

    My uncle was married twice – second wife had the same name as first wife. Smart uncle.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I let my moves do all the talking.

      *wiggles eyebrows*

    • Ted S.

      This is why Nikki is the worst.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Please tell me that your Uncle is the immortal Ron Swanson.

  2. The Other Kevin

    In my first job after college some co-workers and I had a band(?) and that was one of the few songs we could get through from beginning to end. I still like Cracker.

  3. Aloysious

    I don’t know about anyone else, but the thought of face mites with anuses makes me quiver and pulsate.

    • Sensei

      But not moan.

    • SugarFree

      This is why you should boil your face every night before bed.

      • Nephilium

        Is that so his face is moist?

      • Aloysious

        There’s nothing like hot water and screaming to put me right to sleep.

  4. Ted S.

    It is when I do it, baby.

    They’re faking it.

  5. Tonio

    “Additionally, I’ve often thought the the biggest benefit to being homosexual would be dating someone with the same name at you.”

    No, then it becomes overly cutesy and you are constantly referrred to as the Tims, the Toms, etc.

    The biggest benefit is that you can swap clothes, and it doesn’t look odd. Or that you get a free wardrobe when your partner porks out. Always date someone chubbier with better taste in clothing.

    • SugarFree

      **No, then it becomes overly cutesy and you are constantly referrred to as the Tims, the Toms, etc.**

      Ew. That is bad.

      • SugarFree

        I knew a hetero Brett and Britt. I used to tell everyone that “Brett and Britt” was the British brand name for “Fiddle Faddle.”

      • EvilSheldon

        You are truly a monster.

      • juris imprudent

        But he is OUR monster.

    • CPRM

      Are you suggesting Tres is a cross-dresser?

      • Tonio

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

    • grrizzly

      Not if one of the two guys is much taller than the other. Ask me how I know.

      • Ownbestenemy

        How do you know

      • grrizzly

        I’m taller than average. My partner is much taller than me. Other than an occasional t-shirt that shrank too much I couldn’t wear any of his clothes. It’s even less promising in the opposite direction.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I have dated a guy with my name. It didn’t last long enough to get particularly annoying. And he was way skinnier than me.

  6. Animal

    Moaning is not part of the female orgasm, new study says

    What about biting?

    • Tonio

      Hawt.

    • Drake

      Read that as “bitching” the first time. Thought I must be the world’s greatest lover.

      • Endless Mike

        HA!

    • Compelled Speechless

      What about looking bored and asking me if I’m close yet?

      • Rat on a train

        “wrap it up”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Better than “is that it?”

    • CPRM

      It’s a story about female orgasm, not Marv Albert orgasm.

  7. Drake

    With all the Euro soccer players dropping from vax clots, I was wondering if it would start hitting our pro athletes. Unfortunately the wait is probably over. Jaylon Ferguson passed away last night.

    (Not Jay Ferguson)

  8. Lackadaisical

    “Additionally, I’ve often thought the the biggest benefit to being homosexual would be dating someone with the same name at you. That way, when you scream out your own name during sex, no one gets mad at you.”

    Plenty of dual use names out there. Sean, Taylor, etc.

    • JasonAZ

      I have a hetero couple that are friends, both named Cody.

      • Raven Nation

        When I was a kid, Francis was the male spelling and Frances was female. Also Robin/Robyn.

      • SugarFree

        I knew a Frances in high school. She had a very large clitoris. Described as “pinky-sized.”

        People always told me things about other people’s genitals I didn’t want to hear. And I remember them all. It’s horrible.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Did she give you a facial?

      • db

        I had a friend who used to fuck with people by telling stories about girlfriend he once had. He’d start off normal, but describe, very subtly, odd tics about her. Eventually he’d talk about her exceptionally large clit, that she loved to have sucked. Over the course of a 10-15 minute conversation he’d have people believing he had dated a dude with a small penis, but didn’t know it.

        He was an absolute master at trolling people.

      • l0b0t

        Eerie… That exact scenario was the plot of one of the FSU student films from the class or ’94 or ’95.

      • l0b0t

        “She had the longest, hardest clitoris I’ve ever seen.” “And she kept whispering I want to stick it in your ass.”

      • db

        heh. It’s possible he may have cribbed the routine from someone else. First time I heard him do it was in about 2001-2002 time frame. At the time he was in his late 50s.

      • JG43

        My uncle Frank and his wife Frances were actually uncle Francis and aunt Frances

      • Tundra

        Good idea.

        Oh yeah.

      • Plinker762

        I’m an uncle Francis and I had an aunt Frances. We are practically unrelated!

      • rhywun

        When I was a kid, Francis was the male spelling and Frances was female.

        That’s what I used to think.

    • C. Anacreon

      One of the loudest voices against Lia Thomas racing with women has come from a woman college swimmer named Riley Thomas. Nice bit of irony there.

  9. MikeS

    Love me some Cracker. Think I’ll binge. Thanks, SF!

    Also, I had no idea mites were fucking on my face. “Thanks”, SF.

    • Lackadaisical

      When your face twitches, that’s them making the earth move.

    • Tonio

      I’m just going to put in a plug for “Eurotrash Girl,” which isn’t on YouTube or any of my music streaming services (although there is a fun cover version).

      It’s on Kerosene Hat as a hidden track (#69, of course).

      • Tonio

        Damn. Thanks.

      • SugarFree

        Elon will fix all this shit for us.

      • MikeS

        First thing I thought of when I saw that story about Tranny Strippers💗 Kids and the neon “It’s Ain’t Gonna Lick Itself” sign.

      • MikeS

        Thread fail below, but yes, they are notoriously tight with their music. The only ones on Amazon are songs on movie soundtracks and their two newest albums.

    • CPRM

      Also, I had no idea mites were fucking on my face. “Thanks”, SF.

      Does that make us all cucks?

      • Tonio

        D’oh!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Wonder if they quiver and not moan

      • CPRM

        As long as we can forget Uncle Kracker.

      • Tundra

        Who?

      • Tonio

        Not to dis the campers, but that’s a cover. Original here.

      • Tonio

        Agreed that the CVB cover is awesome.

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      Well, the mites have anus’, so it will be a mitey wind.

      • juris imprudent

        I’d ask for a narrowed gaze, but it can’t be narrower than a mite’s anus.

      • C. Anacreon

        I can’t read about an animal anus without being reminded of a grocer who once advised me never to buy “chunk light” canned tuna, since a lot of the contents were the “fishes’ lips and anus”.

  10. Mojeaux

    Moaning is not part of the female orgasm

    Orly.

    • Tonio

      Thank you for saying that. Everyone like a moaner.

      • TARDis

        Tasteful moaning is nice, but screamers are annoying.

        Best is a continuous stream of breathy yeses. If you don’t get them you can ask, “Am I doing this wrong?”
        “YES.”

    • SugarFree

      I always figured moaning was more like the guys at the airport with two flashlights. More polite than, “Switch it up, dumbass!”

      • Mojeaux

        “More” and “harder.”

  11. Lackadaisical

    ‘But they recommend that “copulatory vocalisations (eg moaning)” should be removed from the BSOS.’

    I’ll join the others in calling BS on BSOS.

  12. DEG

    Additionally, I’ve often thought the the biggest benefit to being homosexual would be dating someone with the same name at you. That way, when you scream out your own name during sex, no one gets mad at you.

    OK.

  13. kinnath

    The deer fence is down from around the orchard (about 6 weeks late). The apple trees have been watered. Summer pruning starts tomorrow.

    • Sean

      The pair, who also have an OnlyFans account

      Uh huh.

      🙄

      • CPRM

        OnlyFans account with the handle @notyouraveragesisterz

        Totally just a random co-inky-dink

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        That’s a genre I do not understand.

    • Rat on a train

      No inbreeding risk.

      • kinnath

        They just need to find the brother they never knew about.

    • The Other Kevin

      “The pair, who also have an OnlyFans account with the handle @notyouraveragesisterz, shared the unsettling news in a clip that has been viewed over 6 million times on TikTok, leaving their 560,000 followers desperately urging them to get a DNA test.”

      I’m pretty sure this will not have a negative affect on their OnlyFans.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Only the government, not the markets, can ‘increase economic capacity’….whatever the hell that is.

    • The Other Kevin

      At this point it’s not building, it’s not back, and it’s definitely not better.

    • Not an Economist

      When all you have is a hammer, every problem is a nail.

  14. db

    these comments are particularly lit this afternoon. too bad I’m in the office and can’t fully take part. I at least closed my office door before checking them just in case of a real LOL

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Look at Mr. Fancypants over here. He has an office with a door.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Yeah, but does it have a Kamala shaped Glory hole?

      • db

        It’s not that great. It has a glass sidelight so I can’t get freekay in there.

      • MikeS

        Just cover it with a bunch of DEI posters.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        I figured the hole was on the outside, Kamala’s face on the inside.

      • juris imprudent

        There’s no door, he’s just doing his Les Nessman bit.

      • MikeS

        I still reference that bit at work from time to time. I got a 20-something to watch some WKRP because of it. Good stuff.

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Knowing that any of you are sexual beings just makes this place weird.

    • Translucent Chum

      /does Ace Ventura thrusting motion. Yes, yes, yes!

    • kinnath

      Since before you were born . . . . . (maybe)

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Why? We’re not your mom.

      • CPRM

        Are you gendering his birther shitlord!?

      • pistoffnick

        Saw a t-shirt last weekend:

        I may not go down in history…
        But I will go down on your mom

      • Ownbestenemy

        Never.gets.old

      • Tundra

        A favorite sticker amongst the snowboarders:

        “My other ride is your mom.”

  16. CPRM

    We’re all Lit Up again!

    • Tundra

      + 1 love of cocaine

      • DrOtto

        Maybe coke bugs are just mites.

    • CPRM

      Meant as a reply to DB daggummit!

  17. kinnath

    Not Cracker

    Attn: Tundra

    Southern Rock

    • Tundra

      Love.

      When this was in heavy rotation I remember listening to my transistor radio while doing my paper route. When this song came on I knew it was gonna be a great day!

      Thanks!

      • Tres Cool

        THIS gem popped-up in my sidebar when I opened that.

      • Tundra

        Such a good album. I’ve been playing them a lot lately.

      • The Other Kevin

        So many good songs today.

    • EvilSheldon

      Is this the one from Incel Riot Studios?

      • DEG

        Yes.

        I backed the project on Indiegogo. I’m looking forward to receiving my copy.

      • Tonio

        Thank you for backing them. I’m going to buy that.

        I have their earlier game Virtue Signal.

    • CPRM

      Needs sound leveling. The intro was blasting and then I couldn’t hear him speaking with the laptop speakers on full blast.

      • DEG

        Yeah. I also noticed the sound was a bit out of sync with the video.

      • Tonio

        And better lighting. The sound problems are weird because he has a nice mic in front of him.

      • CPRM

        I reckon it isn’t a production issue, but a post problem. Instead of playing with the dynamics he probably normalized the volume, and with the intro being so much louder it probably squished the volume out of his audio.

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      I had totally forgotten about that game, and figured it was to annifa failing at hitting each other.

  18. Shpip

    Apologies if drugs, ass… but Andrew Gillum, who came within a whisker of becoming Florida’s governor instead of Ron DeSantis, was indicted on 21 federal charges today.

    • CPRM

      Just another case of the police going after innocent Black men.

    • Tres Cool

      “Documents state that the maximum terms of imprisonment for making false statements is five years. ”

      Gee, how many other elected officials and FedGov employees could that be applied to…?

    • C. Anacreon

      Ziggy played guitar
      Jamming good with Andrew Gillum
      And the Spiders from Mars

  19. Tres Cool

    “Orgasm Rating Scale”

    Band name? Album name?

    • Tundra

      “This is the first single from our new album!”

    • CPRM

      Self titled album

      • Ownbestenemy

        From a solo artist or duet?

      • CPRM

        Barbershop Quartet

      • Ownbestenemy

        Foursomes were always problematic

    • Animal

      Back when Mrs. A and I were playing City of Heroes, I was having a lot of fun pushing the limits of their 17-and-up rating for character names. I got away with “Seymour Butz” for like three years until the server went dark, but got dinged for “Viagra Falls.” Go figure.

      “Orgasm Rating Scale” would have been a fun one.

      • Nephilium

        One of my friends back in the day used to use the trivia team name of “The Amazing Unbreakable Hymens”.

      • db

        So they never scored?

      • Not Adahn

        Very frustrating for the other team.

      • juris imprudent

        Every time they won was the first time?

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      B-side.

  20. Gustave Lytton

    Demolition Man continues to be the roadmap for the future.

    • Ownbestenemy

      At least Taco Bell will still be with us.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s somewhat fitting that our future will be designed by Sir Humphrey.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Good. I hope this goes viral. Most importantly because the horror show we’ve created absolutely needs to stop immediately. Secondly, the LP needs to hold up a mirror to the uni-party trumpeting for war over Ukraine while completely ignoring the fact that they are themselves responsible for something even worse.

      I didn’t think for one second that Dave Smith was fucking around when he said that the people that were taking over the party had big plans for changing the party’s messaging. The controlled opposition that was Sarwark and his ilk are gone and it’s time to show the world that liberty-minded people are the ones with the best ideas and have some actual fucking principles.

      • Tundra

        I called. it was easy.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I called it too. This kind of messaging is so obviously the direct to head. Our ruling class is a human rights violation machine that never sleeps. There is no shortage of the evidence of this. Make some quick videos demonstrating this and quickly win hearts and minds. The fact that they previous idiots couldn’t figure this out is pretty mind boggling.

        I can’t wait until they are really able to convince Michael Malice to get involved. That little troll taken off his leash into the mainstream of political discourse could be the greatest thing that has happened to the political arena in generations. I have some small amount actual hope that these people have a messaging plan that the legacy/access/corporate media will be absolutely powerless to control and it may spread far enough to move the needle.

      • db

        I called. got a voicemail for my representative and was able to leave a message. Both my Senators diverted to voicemail as well (“DC Voice Messaging”) but there was no option to leave a message.

      • rhywun

        We’d have to break up with Saudi Arabia first.

    • db

      Server ate my reply before.

      I like the idea of forcing us out of conflicts we are in, but I wonder about this language:

      (3) Nothing in this joint resolution may be construed to limit, expand, or otherwise modify the scope of the Authorization for Use of Military Force (Public Law 107–40; 50 U.S.C. 1541 note).

      I imagine it’s a compromise to try to prevent immediate failure of the resolution due to AUMF-loving congresscritters?

  21. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Runny nose

    /eom

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Better go catch it.

  22. CPRM

    There is System Shock remake coming this summer. Never played the original game, but I loved the BioShock series.

    • Nephilium

      Yep, I backed the project many years ago. Did you play any of the Deus Ex games or the Arkane studio Prey game? Those have more in common with System Shock then BioShock.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’ve played every Deus Ex game. With the exception of Invisible War, the series is excellent. Warren Spector had a major hand in both the original Deus Ex and System Shock 1 & 2, so they do share a lot of DNA. I’ve played SS2 but I’ve never played the first one and I feel like it’s not that highly regarded, but if that remake turns about to be decent, I’ll give it a whirl.

        For fun, check out Razorfist’s retrospective on Deus Ex. When you’re done, check out anything else by Razorfist.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1nqdKiLnTU

      • Nephilium

        If you like those style of games, give Prey a shot. It was poorly marketed, has an ending that split the fanbase, but is the same style of game.

        And I agree on the Deus Ex side. Thinking it over, I don’t know if I ever finished Invisible War, the dumbing down for consoles pissed me off too much.

      • UnCivilServant

        I finished the original, and Invisible war, but I got to the first boss fight in the first prequel and discovered that they’d outsourced it such that stealth characters are boned.

        Stopped playing the series and never returned.

    • Not Adahn

      I loved the original System Shock. Unfortunately, it’s unplayable in GOG form.

  23. Drake

    Bulgarian Prime Minister loses no-confidence vote.

    The guy went to Harvard so…

    Petkov planted the blame squarely on Russia and his own country’s powerful mafia after his government lost a no-confidence vote on Wednesday.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I think this is a good thing. I’m still in the camp that DeSantis is going to end up being a loyal swamp creature that just has a supernatural sense of all the right things to say to the limited government crowd. I’m expecting a sequel to Trump in that way. All setup, no payoff (though probably some payoff in the Hunter Biden sense.)

    • rhywun

      Trump’s “rigged election” nonsense is getting boring even to some who subscribe to it.

      Fair enough. I don’t think it’s “nonsense” but yeah, I’m tired of hearing about it. It’s over. They got away with stealing an election. Let’s not let it happen again.

    • rhywun

      The January 6 hearings might be doing DeSantis a favor by reminding the country that Trump is an unhinged authoritarian willing to sic a mob on Congress in hopes of clinging to power illegally.

      Sure, Jan. 🙄

      • Drake

        Said while there are actual mobs outside the homes of Supreme Court Justices.

  24. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Well. Closing for the condo development has been delayed by 2 months. It will cost me an extra $1300.

    Guess who’s to blame?

    • Rat on a train

      Putin?

    • MikeS

      Trump?

    • Drake

      Stoics?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Hitler?

    • db

      Just don’t pay it. What are they going to do, evict you?

    • Tulip

      Call the board of supervisors and rip them a new one.

      • Drake

        Ask to see the manager?

      • Tulip

        Right, telling an elected official off is being a Karen. Fuck off.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I’m fixin to

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      A vast right wing conspiracy?

    • Ted S.

      KK?

    • CPRM

      White Supremacists?

  25. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Can’t the GOP find a coupla-ten mil to pay off Trump not to run again?

    • whiz

      Make iT “bil” and you’ve likely got a deal.

  26. Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

    Mmmm… Camper. I knew it was going to be a bad one after a pleasant Jomala.

    I don’t dislike much music, but David lowery should die in a fire.

    here is the cleansing power of Saint Huck
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_LR6UYkROA

    • Tundra

      “J Paul Ghetto!”

      Damn.

    • Plinker762

      Obviously Jersey’s gun laws are too lax.

  27. MikeS

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The ‘I’m workin’ hard. And by “hard” mean…’ Edition)
    #149

    Champ
    SDF-7 14

    Ted S. 17
    The Hyperbole 17
    Cannoli 18
    db 18
    Grumbletarian 18
    l0b0t 19
    Not Adahn 19
    grrizzly 20
    TARDis 20
    Grosspatzer 21
    robc 21
    Dr. Fronkensteen 22
    Grummun 22
    kinnath 22
    MikeS 22
    one true athena 22
    Ozymandias 22
    QuordleBot 22
    trshmnstr the terrible 22
    Tulip 22
    whiz 22
    Tundra 23
    pistoffnick 27
    Sean 27

    Chump
    JG43 118

    Wow! SDF-7 figuratively crushed the competition today. Exceptional Quordling!

    grrizzly beat Tulip in their tie-braker round today, so he will be facing off against Sean tomorrow. Whiz goes up against Cannoli. Good luck to all.

    Very nice Quordling by (almost) everyone today. Average score was 24.9 and the T-Line split was a very impressive 21/4!

    Sean’s chumpless streak is now 69 (giggity)

    Now I have to go to work for The Man (me). I’ll play two songs that will blow some people’s minds for very different reasons.

    This is how much I love you guys.

    The 80’s were fucking awesome.

    • kinnath

      Note. I will offline Friday through Sunday. So leave me out if a new bracket starts out.

      • The Hyperbole

        Got it, no new tourney until Monday.

    • Mojeaux

      The 80’s were fucking awesome.

      Get Lucky was my first album ever.

  28. db

    3 4
    5 7

    50/50 words boo

    • db

      So badly misthreaded it ended up on the wrong day