ZARDOZ CONTINUED TAKE OVER LINKS OF MONDAY AFTERNOON

by | Jun 27, 2022 | Cryptids, Daily Links | 222 comments

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE, ACT NOW!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. HAVING GIVEN INSTRUCTIONS, PREVIEWS AND LINKS LAST WEEK, ZARDOZ RETURNS! ZARDOZ WAS PARTLY PLEASED, PARTLY NOT BY THE EVENTS OF LAST WEEK. OBVIOUSLY, THE GUN BEING GOOD, ZARDOZ WAS CHEERED…BUT THE ABILITY TO CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALS BEING UP TO ANY DISPUTE DISMAYS ZARDOZ. NO MATTER – THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE DONE WELL WITH THEIR SNARK AT THE BRUTALS, THEREFORE, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE PREVIEW, AND THE LINKS!

PREVIEW… MONDAY, MORE OF THE ANIMAL ONE’S NEW STORY NEXT WEEK. TONIGHT, THE OTHER KEVIN TELLS OF A HOCKEY TRIP. TUESDAY – PLISADE HAS ANOTHER STORY TO…ENTERTAIN DISTURB YOU AND ZWAK WILL COME AROUND IN THE EVENING. WEDNESDAY – SUGARFREE, IF YOU DARE, AND THE EVENING IS TBD (ZARDOZ IS LOOKING AT YOU, CPRM…). THURSDAY HAS THE WAWR FOR THE MONTH AND THE GLIBFLICK IS “FORBIDDEN ZONE”. ZARDOZ LIKES THE SOUND OF THE LAST ONE. FOR THE VORTEX IS FORBIDDEN TO ALL BUT THE ETERNALS! FRIDAY IS TBD.

IT APPEARS THE POSTS ARE AS SCARCE AS THE CHANCES OF A BRUTAL FLEEING ZED.

LINKS, FOR THE CHOSEN ONES!

  • THE GRAND TURK LOOKS OUT FOR HIMSELF.
  • FORTUNATELY, THE VORTEX DOES NOT DABBLE IN INVESTING IN THE PAPER OF BRUTALS. GRAIN, CERTAINLY…BUT NOTHING ELSE! ZARDOZ CONSOLES HIMSELF WITH SOME QUALITY CLEANSING STILL OCCURRING.
  • STOP TRYING TO SOLVE THIS GAS DISPUTE PEACEFULLY! ZARDOZ IS NOT PLEASED.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

About The Author

ZARDOZ

ZARDOZ

SERVANT OF THE TABERNACLE, THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, SEE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZhKGgmoUI

222 Comments

  1. Shpip

    The Karish field, which contains 1.4 trillion cubic feet of proved and probable gas reserves, is located south of the southern boundary of the disputed area.

    So, indisputably Israeli then. Okay, Euro-weenies, prepare to set your anti-Zionism Semitism aside for a bit and buy gas from Israel.

    • The Other Kevin

      The irony of that would be very pleasing to me.

    • Lackadaisical

      Yeah, I don’t see how there is any problem here, they’re not even in the disputed area…

      • ZARDOZ

        ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONE. OF COURSE THERE IS A PROBLEM… WAR WAR IS BETTER THAN JAW JAW. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Jeez, Big Z — you were so much less of a downer when you were pleasantly buzzed on The Devil’s Lettuce. Haven’t you got a dealer handy in your area?

    • Not Adahn

      Wait, MSNBC hosts get paid? Don’t they realize they have a sacred duty to journalism for Democracy’s sake?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maddow is the most smug and insufferable person in all of television news. Well, excepting Joy Reid.

      • Drake

        Samantha Bee?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        It’s crowded field, especially if you include late night “comedians”. Oliver, Noah, Kimmel, that twerp from SNL.

      • Compelled Speechless

        They’re all reallllly bad, but somehow Colbert still runs away with this one.

      • slumbrew

        It’s impressive how he really manages to demonstrate what an arrogant douche he is, night after night.

        I mean, he’s no Olbermann, but it’s close.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Winner, Winner, POS dinner.

      • DrOtto

        Trevor Noah is one if the least funny comedians working. Colbert is at least capable of delivering the occasional zinger.

    • Lackadaisical

      Many eunuchs cried out in pain and were suddenly released from their chastity devices.

      • rhywun

        Oh lord. Now I have an image of him wearing a necktie and thrusting to the beat.

      • rhywun

        You’re not supposed to post a song I like.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Jesus. Did Robert Palmer use the same plastic babes and the same $7,000.00 (USD) Italian silk suit for every video he did? No wonder he died young.

  2. Lackadaisical

    ‘The rising tension prompted the Lebanese government to call for stopping Israel’s exploration efforts and to ask Amos Hochstein, an American who has been mediating indirect talks since 2020, to intervene.’

    Eh, absolutely no possibility of bias on the mediator’s part… They’re not even trying are they?

  3. Sensei

    “Statements of a default are absolutely unjustified,” Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov told a call with reporters on Monday, pointing to the May forex coupon payment.

    “The fact that Euroclear withheld this money and did not bring it to the recipients is not our problem. There are absolutely no grounds to call such situation a default.”

    They may actually have given Euroclear the funds. Problem is EU and/or US sanctions prevent them from actually paying.

    • invisible finger

      Shocking that the EU and US didn’t think everything through prior to their hissy fit of sanctions.

      • Sensei

        They likely act as an “agent” so the reason you can be a dick and claim the Russians defaulted is because you are responsible for getting the funds to the holders.

        But the EU/US have set up a framework that makes it impossible for Russian to deliver the funds. Here I’m going to side with the Russians…

    • Gender Traitor

      I thought Euroclear was that really strong booze.

      • The Other Kevin

        No it’s that band that sang Santa Monica.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Not Adahn

        I thought forex was a brand of mafrid.

  4. trshmnstr the terrible

    ZARDOZ, I’ve got one brewing for next Friday (8th). It’s gonna be a “two weeks until recession” GlibFin Article of shared advice on what you can do with 2 weeks until the recession is official to get yourself in a better place to ride it out.

    For everybody who wants to contribute, go check out the thread in the forum or send me an email (trashy-glibs at disengage dot co)

    • Tonio

      Thanks, Trashy!

      • Tulip

        I turned in what are we reading last week.

      • Tonio

        Thanks.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        I have another one ruminating. it’s in Drafts, but I want to think a wee bit on it first.

    • ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN POST WRITING ONE. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. ZARDOZ OFFERS THE FOLLOWING ADVICE; 1). KEEP THE GIFT OF THE GUN CLOSE BY, 2) STORE LARGE AMOUNTS OF GRAIN, 3) SEAL YOURSELF, ALONG WITH A FEW HUNDRED OTHER IMMORTALS, INSIDE A FORCE SHIELDED VORTEX. BE SURE TO INCLUDE A SUPERCOMPUTER CONTAINING ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THE HUMAN RACE.

      ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

      • Lackadaisical

        …. Surprisingly good advice.

        Needs more gold, but otherwise he’s got it folks.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Peter Schiff is here.

      • Animal

        BE SURE TO INCLUDE A SUPERCOMPUTER CONTAINING ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THE HUMAN RACE.

        Yes. During the recovery you’ll want to be able to set things on a firm Foundation.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Even if you are secure in your job, being aware of how that might be perceived by others is crucial. Avoid splashy purchases, do not tell anyone how prepared you are. Nod and agree with their pain.

      • Fourscore

        Sounds like “The Return of the Black Market” or “No Ration Stamps Needed”.

        The 2 most read books during WW2/sarc

    • Mustang

      I’ve got a question for that…the wife and I have two small Roth IRAs that we’ve been minimally contributing to. I have my Thrift Savings Plan (sort of a 401k for Feds). I am wondering if it would make any sort of sense to cash in the IRAs, eat the penalty, and make some much-needed home improvements and preps. We need to repair or replace our A/C units and most of the windows on the home, and maybe some other purchases if (when) this turns into a depression. I am of the mind to do it now before we roar into hyperinflation and roll the TSP into a 401k when I get a new job to hopefully weather the storm. We do have an emergency fund but I want to keep it in reserve.

      The balance on the IRAs won’t make it break our retirement at the moment and we are young enough to basically start over.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Also, get your shiznit out of any safety deposit boxes you might have it in. My Canadian Government™ has demonstrated beyond doubt that nothing’s safe in a bank.

      • Tonio

        Better to take a loan against your TSP. The P&I payments go back into your TSP account, minus a small, one-time processing fee that the TSP skims off.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        You can withdraw your contributions from a Roth IRA without penalty. It’s only the earnings that you pay a penalty on for early withdrawals. There is also a rule that the account must be open for 5 years before making penalty free withdrawals, but I would be surprised if it’s enforced.

        If the amount isn’t that large ( <$30k or so), I would open a HELOC instead. HELOCs are usually variable rate and the rates will rise over the next few years, but a few percentage points won't make a real difference on an amount that small (relatively speaking compared to a full mortgage on a home). If the interest rate rises more than that, you could still knock the loan out quickly with dedication and/or robbing the Roth. But really if the interest rate ends up tripling, the country is going to default and that loan is going to be the least of your concerns.

    • Tonio

      Go, KK!

    • LCDR_Fish

      Nice! Still gonna commute from there?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Well, via mobile hotspot, yes 😉

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        “Exxxxxxxxcellent, Smithers.”

    • Tundra

      Wow!

      So pleased for you! Adventure time!

    • MikeS

      Kampered Kristin is in the (mobile) house!

    • one true athena

      Woot! Looking ready for anything!

    • DEG

      Nice!

    • Tulip

      Have you met the neighbors yet?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Just waving hello. You know what I need to break the ice? A dog. ASAP.

      • Tundra

        YES!

        What are you gonna get?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Gonna put applications in to NC Pug Rescue & Mid Atlantic Pug Rescue

      • Ownbestenemy

        Nice! Pugs and bulldogs are awesome but an Aussoe Cattle dog would be better

      • Ownbestenemy

        Which is a little known breed from China…damn phone posting.

        Aussie

      • Tundra

        Sure, if you have time for about ten miles a day of running them!

        How about a Frenchie, KK? There is one ion my neighborhood and he is an amazing little guy.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Consider a bulldog. Small enough for RV, mellow temperament with moderate exercise needs, and has more protective guard dog capability than any other dog in that weight class.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Bulldogs are awesome! I’m not sure about their longevity? I LOVE Frenchies, but they don’t come up in rescue very often. I would jump at the chance if one came up.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Frenchies are pricey

      • Mustang

        Bulldogs drool. Lots of drool. We adore pugs but they are not guard dogs. It’s not that they can’t, but more a matter of whether they feel like it or not.

        If you’re not looking for a guard dog pugs are the best. They’re so much fun and they always make me laugh.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I suppose it’s a good thing the shelters are nearly empty of dogs. I’ve checked 2 pug rescues and 2 shelters…a total of ~10 dogs between all of them. I am breed restricted, unfortunately. Most RV parks will not allow “fighting” or “aggressive” breeds.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I had a pug for 18 years…they are great watch dogs, but not guard dogs. But I can’t really have a traditional guard dog with this lifestyle

      • tripacer

        Sounds like you need a Corgi. Their ability to communicate using sarcasm makes them the glibbest of dargs.

  5. Tonio

    California pays lip service to the goodness of the gun. We’ll see how sincere they are about this.

    • Sensei

      I’m waiting six months here in NJ so that everything shakes out and applying. My fear is applying any earlier and nobody is going to know what to do and how to process the applications.

      My assumption is that it will still take forever and they will slow walk it.

      I also assume that NJ will create a laundry list of places you can’t carry so I also want that to be more settled down as well.

      • Tonio

        Probably a good idea, although I hope it doesn’t take that long for them to get their permitting engine spun up. Theoretically they already have a process in place, right? They’d just have to do less obstructionism and more issuing.

        Justice Thomas was very specific in his Bruen opinion that the court would not tolerate foot-dragging or other shenanigans.

      • WTF

        Supposedly they have 60 days to either approve or reject an application. But I will also wait 6 months for things to sort out. And also take a required training course and get the certificate you need for a carry permit.

      • Tonio

        IANAL, but my interpretation is that Bruen specifically did away with “certificates of need” and similar BS.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I took WTF as saying the certificate that shows you completed a gun safety course. Very different than showing cause for need.

        VA has a safety course requirement too. I keep my certificate in the safe. Then the state GOP allowed online safety courses, which my wife took. Then Dems switched it back to in person courses only. But anyone who received their CCW while online safety courses were still allowed are grandfathered in for future renewals.

      • Drake

        I’d be torn. Applying now might avoid the next level of bs they’ll invent.

      • Drake

        If you plan to buy a carry pistol in NJ, you probably need to start that awful process now.

      • Sensei

        I’m dreading that. All my long lost pistols “were” full size as there was little point owning anything compact.

        I may just get a shoulder holster in the meantime to avoid the hell that is purchasing a new pistol.

      • Drake

        I’ve been carrying an LCP. I picked up my “compact” P-07 the other day. It felt like a field artillery piece.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m picking up a new LCP this week! Just waiting for the phone call.

      • Sean

        Beretta APX A1 Carry has a $100 rebate until August 15th.

      • grrizzly

        I hope MA doesn’t start thinking about places where you can’t carry. The truth is that you can carry almost everywhere in MA, schools/colleges and courthouses excepted. A local business has no right to prohibit carrying on the premises in MA like in many other states. I’ve always suspected it’s only because the progs here cannot imagine that somebody can carry a firearm in the peoples’ republic. But when even Boston residents will be able to get an LTC without restrictions (CCP) that might change. Outside of Boston, its inner suburbs and certain woke and largish towns, MA is even today closer to a shall-issue state than most people realize.

      • Tonio

        Bruen also addressed overly broad no-carry zones.

      • Drake

        Yep – I have family members who got MA permits no problem.

      • Sean

        There’s gonna be a flood of applications. Do you want to wait until the system is broken, or get to the front of the line?

      • DEG

        I remember when PA went shall-issue.

        There were lines of people in Philly trying to get permits. Philly city officials were pretty quickly overwhelmed.

      • Sensei

        it’s going to be royal PITA.

        I don’t need to be a guinea pig for the bureaucracy with the resulting rise in my blood pressure.

      • pistoffnick

        …NJ will create a laundry list of places you can’t carry…/blockquote>

        Hey any orifice is a holster if you are brave enough!

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I thought Heller was about the same issue?

      • Tonio

        It was, but it was a narrower ruling that only applied to the District of Columbia, not the states. The court later applied that to the states in McDonald, based on the Fourteenth Amendment (due process). Bruen was based entirely on the Second Amendment (RKBA, but you all know that already) and was a broader and more forceful ruling that called out states other than NY, and specific instructions about what the court would not tolerate in terms of delays, hurdles, and other shenanigans.

        But despite all that, expect shenanigans. But we can also hope the court will move quickly and forcibly, ie unsigned bench memos instead of the more lengthy process of oral argument and deliberation. They seem serious about this.

      • Sensei

        That was mere possession. This is carry.

      • Tonio

        That, too. Thanks.

    • EvilSheldon

      Interesting.

      I’m about to file the application for an MD concealed handgun permit. I’ve been told by several friends (who have MD CHPs already) that even the may-issue regime wasn’t too onerous, so we’ll see how it shakes out.

      • Tonio

        Good luck. Let us know how that turns out.

      • juris imprudent

        I would imagine the farther you are from DC the more reasonable it becomes.

  6. Shpip

    (Takes deep breath, braces self)

    I was talking to a fishing guide in Georgia last August, and asked what there was to do, outdoors-wise, in the winter around his area. He replied that the wingshooting, for both waterfowl and upland birds, was outstanding.

    That got me to thinking: I used to bust clays thrown with a kind of arm-extender with my buddies thirty years ago, but I never got any formal instruction. I’ve resolved to fix that, but that brings me to my main query — which gun?

    I’m fully aware that a used pump gun will bust clays and kill birds just like a $20,000 specialty fowling piece, but I’d like to upscale it a little bit. I’m thinking of a relatively inexpensive but decent over/under in 12 gauge. Online research has led me to the Turkish Yildiz and the Italian-made Franchi.

    Any of you scattergunners have a preference? Or should I just save my shekels and get something that’s higher quality but higher initial price? My thinking is, if I really enjoy this and get pretty good at it, then I can justify moving up to a Fabarm or Baretta or whatever.

    Any thoughts appreciated. If you’d rather not write a wall o’ text here, email me at pjshpip (at) gmail.

    • Tonio

      Looking forward to the forthcoming Glibs article, “Shpip buys a Shotgun.”

    • EvilSheldon

      No real experience with stackbarrels, but Franchi shotguns are generally pretty excellent.

    • Animal

      Franchis are great. You could probably find a used Citori for a decent price. The few Turkish long guns I’ve handled, well, I wouldn’t shoot them unless I put them in an old tire and pulled the trigger with a string from a safe distance, but I’m not familiar with this brand; maybe it’s an exception.

      • Not Adahn

        Meh. My CZ1012 is made in Turkey and it’s worked great so far.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        Citori would be my choice also.

        But, when I shot in the field I loved a SxS, so I tend to think that way for clays.

    • Spudalicious

      Over under, semi auto? What’s your budget?

      • Spudalicious

        If you’re trying to keep your budget down, Mossberg makes a perfectly cromulent O/U for $500-600.

        $1500-2500, I would buy a Citori and never look back.

        Semi-auto, Mossberg again makes a very serviceable semi-auto for a good price. In the higher price range, I would look at Benelli and Beretta. I have a Benelli Super Black Eagle II.

      • Shpip

        12 ga over / under, to start. Would prefer to keep it in the $1000 range or less, to start, and spend more money on instruction and practice. Mostly practice.

        Then, if I get hooked past the barb, I’d ideally get something like a Caesar Guerini Magnus in 12, and a Fabarm Autumn in 20.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m pretty happy with my SKB and they have a model in your price point.

      • Animal

        If that’s your price range, I’d go with the Mossberg. As Spud mentioned, they’re solid guns, not fancy but reliable. I’ve owned a bunch of Mossbergs over the years (not one of their O/Us but I’ve handled and shot a few) and have always been happy with them.

        Bonus: O.F. Mossberg remains a family-owned, American business. You can feel good about buying from them. (Says the guy with two Mikoru Brownings in the safe.)

  7. Pope Jimbo

    Why am I pessimistic about the Red Wave this fall? Because the Stupid Party just can’t help themselves.

    The GOP chair of the Minnesoda Senate Energy Committee had this to say about his effort to throw millions at “Weatherization”:

    Sen. Dave Senjem, a Rochester Republican who chairs the Senate’s Energy and Utilities Finance and Policy Committee, said houses in many parts of the state were built when energy was far cheaper and not built with weather resistance in mind. And Senjem said conservation of energy has to be a big part of the ongoing energy transition, saying the country can’t just rely on windmills and solar panels at this point.

    “Any BTU that we can save within the home and not have it leak out is a BTU you don’t have to put through a gas pipeline or something like that,” Senjem said. “As we move away from certainly coal and natural gas at some point, nuclear probably at some point, we have to … conserve, it has to be part of the menu.”

    These dumbasses think that they can get away with blathering about guns and climate change and still win big this November. They will probably win big, but not because people like what they are saying. If they got their heads out of their asses and said “we’re lowering taxes and spending less. If you want to weatherize your house with those savings knock yourself out. But there is no way a govt program to shovel millions to crony companies will work”

    • The Other Kevin

      A good strategy right now would be to strongly differentiate themselves from Democrats. So of course, their plan is to act more like Democrats.

      • rhywun

        A good strategy right now would be to…

        …STFU for the next four and a half months.

      • juris imprudent

        Maybe if they had some kind of contract, with America? Nah, that’s a crazy idea, it would never sell.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Someone might expect them to actually carry it out at some point…

      • Plinker762

        Lol

      • Plinker762

        The problem with contract is that some people actually expect you to fulfill them.

      • JasonAZ

        GOP isn’t the party of stupid for no reason! Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

    • Tundra

      Dumb fucker. This election is truly a kitchen table issue one.

      Whatever. A red wave will only delay the inevitable.

    • Lackadaisical

      Sounds like any other Democrat, just a bit sheepish about being one.

      • Pope Jimbo

        To be fair, he is a GOPer who has the Mayo Clinic in his district (and an IBM AS-400 plant). He sure doesn’t want his constituents donors to think he is one of those icky GOP politicians who really believe in that crap. He’s an enlightened GOP guy!

    • juris imprudent

      I hate to break this to you, but there’s almost as many free-stuff-I-am-a-consumer-of-govt-services on the right as there are on the left. This rates only second to defense jobs or other govt money poured into Congressional districts.

  8. Pope Jimbo

    I have become convinced that many pro-choice zealots are secretly happy that Roe was overturned. They’d never admit it and probably aren’t even aware that they are happy.

    Now that Roe is overturned, they get to pretend that they are brave anti-fascists living in Germany as Hitler was taking over. Or Freedom Riders taking a bus into Mississippi or Alabama. They get to be a Hero!

    Look at this article about Minnesoda fierce women who are part of the Auntie Network and tell me that they aren’t all so stoked to be part of something Big and Noble. They are going to be so disappointed when hordes of women in the third trimester don’t show up to hide in their basement while waiting for an abortion.

    Michelle Waczak prepared for a post-Roe world by joining an informal network that allows her to offer women in other states who have been locked out of abortion a place to stay, transportation to a clinic and a shoulder to cry on.

    Waczak, who lives in a suburb of St. Paul, is among thousands women who have flocked to a Reddit community called the “Auntie Network,” a semi-underground network aimed at helping women who live in states that have outlawed or severely restricted abortion.

    The Reddit aunties usually live in “blue” states like Minnesota, where access to abortion is not threatened. The help they offer prospective “nieces” ranges from free apartments and offers to pay bus and air fares to allowing a visitor to crash on a couch.

    Waczak, who works as a Starbucks barista, said she anticipates a “an influx of women” in need to the Twin Cities.

    • The Other Kevin

      The left seem to have a thing for LARPing.

      • juris imprudent

        Does the militia movement a few years back ring any bells? Lots of people enjoy some LARPing.

      • Tundra

        Kind of a difference in scale, though, wouldn’t you say?

        Did you see the footage from Seattle and Arizona? Just the number of people at those riots i exponentially greater than all of the weekend Rambos combined.

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t know, the report I read on Portland said less than 100 but the police still wouldn’t deal with them.

    • Lackadaisical

      Free vacation ladies, take them up on it while the offer and weather is still good.

      Do they believe men can get pregnant too? I wouldn’t mind a free trip.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I was thinking the same thing. How many of them are so far down the rabbit hole that they wouldn’t be able to argue against dudes showing up and claiming that they identified as a pregnant woman and how dare they try to exclude them from the holy sacrament of Abortion?!

        Uffda. I’m pretty much a squish who thinks abortions should be legal early in a pregnancy, but these crazies are making it hard to be on their side.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If my wife would let me, I would be starting a Reddit Uncles group.

        Just like the Aunties group except we are dudes who would be into letting young teen girls stay at our houses. “You know you can’t get more pregnant now, whynot have a little fun?”

      • slumbrew

        * edges away from his holiness *

      • Compelled Speechless

        Don’t act shocked. Pope Jimbo is in the clergy. The only thing that’s surprising is that he didn’t say teen and preteen boys.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Only edged away….groomer

      • Tundra

        😳

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        You’re gonna need lots of bags of chips and bottles of Pepsi if’n you’re gonna go that route.

      • Fourscore

        Were you the one running the adds in the back of teen magazines?

        “Pregnant? “Need help”? “Call 1-800-UnclePJ”.

        “We can provide counseling and more”

        “If a woman answers hang up and call back later”

      • Sean

        Lol

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I think we found the “To Catch a Predator” guy.

      • MikeS

        Hmmm…exactly how young are we talking?

    • Tonio

      So far at least two pregnancy support clinics, aka crisis pregnancy centers, vandalized; also, a Catholic Church burned to the ground.

      They want to riot, and now they have their reason.

    • Tonio

      The young person in the green gym shorts and tank top, with the stickers over her nipples and crotch, is hilariously, and presumably unintentionally, instantiating something out of Aldous Huxley’s Ape and Essence where women had to wear red “No” stickers in those places.

      • Tres Cool

        Channeling her Inner Dunham (who I think wished she could have aborted a baby): ““I can’t image how stressful it must be,” she said of women who may no longer have access to abortion in their hometowns or home states.”

      • MikeS

        And, is she lactating…or what is up there?

    • slumbrew

      I’d like to give the one in the jean shorts the opportunity to change my mind. It’s very important, so she should utilize every tool at her disposal.

    • B.P.

      ““I’m 32 year-old female social worker who would be very happy to offer up my bedroom (I’ll take the living room) to anyone in need,” the post said. “I can offer food, lodging, emotional support, transportation from anywhere within 100 miles, & would be more than happy to accompany to any appointments you may need.””

      Yup. Someone’s going to airbnb the hell out of this.

      “How did today go?”

      “Oh great! I went over to Mall of America and… um…. wait. Got an abortion. A couple of ’em in fact.”

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Waczak, who lives in a suburb of St. Paul, is among thousands women who have flocked to a Reddit community called the “Auntie Network,” a semi-underground network aimed at helping women who live in states that have outlawed or severely restricted abortion.

      Not seeing anything about this that is the slightest bit underground. It’s all out there in the open, and I’m sure the women and soy boys can’t stop talking about their participation to everyone around them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m just so excited to help you kill your fetus!

      • Gustave Lytton

        “The Coathanger Project”

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      The problem for the left re Roe is that too many of these women have gone from baby raising age to “where’s my grandbabies!”

      • B.P.

        Nah. It’s 2022. We’re totally past biological imperatives now. All evolved and stuff.

  9. DEG

    Lebanon, the source said, is waiting for Hochstein to come back with Israel’s reply to its new proposal, which would give the Karish field to Israel and the Qana field to Lebanon.

    I’ll guess Israel’s response is some variation of “Fuck Off”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We can’t go to war with everyone. And we seemed to have pissed just about everyone off.

      • TARDis

        It’s like we’re…I dunno… NAZI Germany or something.

      • Drake

        India and Brazil are telling us to fuck-off good and hard.

  10. slumbrew

    2 days after some air travel, I’ll confess I’m not feeling so hot – my throat is killing me.

    I will miss you all. KSuellington, I want you to have my CD collection; tell those Columbia House guys I really am dead this time.

    I will welcome donations from the lot of you.

    • Tundra

      Heavy zinc, quercetin and vitamins D&C.

      Feel better!

      • slumbrew

        Thx, have all of those save quercetin, I think.

      • grrizzly

        Strepsils helped me with sore throat. At least temporarily.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That’s my rotation daily now. We are getting ready to fly here in a few days too

    • JasonAZ

      Any sinus pressure? I have COVID 2 weeks ago. Very much like a sinus cold. Sore throat from sinus drainage. Blow your nose, then my ears are plugged up and not able to just clear them with holding my nose. Really tired on day 2 and 3.

      Good news, by day 4 I felt mo better. Didn’t last long. Prayers to you and the household/family.

      • slumbrew

        A bit, but my allergies are in full-effect too, so hard to say what’s what.

      • Tundra

        Try this.

        Twice per day with a good listerine gargle. Really works well.

      • JasonAZ

        Yeah, we suffer from allergies too. Wife was “sick” for a few days. It wasn’t until I got sick that we realized it wasn’t allergies but something contagious.

    • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

      I had the COVID, and it was like a hard 24hr flu. On the productive coughing stage right now, and I just took NyQuil and Tylenol.

  11. Pope Jimbo

    This column is a great example of how people can agree on some things for totes different reasons.

    It is not lost on me that all of their arguments and ideas can be summed by this single idea: Biking über alles! It is also not lost on me where such rigidity in thinking often leads.

    But what seems to be lost on these folks is the point of extreme privilege from which they speak and hold such positions. The utter lack of respect, understanding, consideration or even lip service they give to any who may not be, well, like them.

    They guy has a nice little rant about the elitists who want the rest of us to pay for their fancy-dan bike trails. We can agree on that. I’m not sure I’m so down with the other parts of his rant where he claims racism would keep the brothers from ever using the trail.

    I just appreciate the cognitive dissonance this will cause in some people.

    • rhywun

      even the tissue they wipe their saddle with is delivered to their door by someone less fortunate

      It has never occurred to me to look down on delivery people the way this person does. Who’s the real asshole here?

    • Fourscore

      I read that as “Bilking Uber Alles”. Accurate and honest, anyway

  12. robc

    Some when companies realize the scamming a free vacation is starting, will they have requirements like, sorry, we only pay for a trip to Rochester, NY?

    • TARDis

      In January….

    • rhywun

      Ugh, I’ve already spent 18 years there.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        And that was even with good behavior.

      • rhywun

        Well… mostly.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Don’t send them to Minnesoda. We’re already swamped!

      Clinicians and abortion rights advocates say Minnesota patients regularly wait at least two weeks for appointments at state clinics — a delay that could push people past the window when an abortion is an option.

      “Even over this year working with abortion funds and clinics here, they’re sending people from Minnesota out to other states because there are not enough appointments,” particularly for those in the second trimester, said Megan Peterson, executive director of Gender Justice, a nonprofit that advocates for gender equity.

      As abortion bans expand, she said, “I don’t think states like Minnesota are prepared for that influx.”

  13. Tundra
    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Every time Antifa pushed their way out of Portland, it didn’t go well for them.

      I actually encourage this behavior.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s what the DAs and other government agencies are for. To make sure the ass kickers get process punished if they hurt the poor little Antifa protesters.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        I was standing in a gunshop a half-hour south of Portland after the first “incursion” in the suburbs. People were stocking up.

    • Tundra

      That was one helluva negotiation!

  14. UnCivilServant

    I hate paying bills. I’m always broke afterwards. 🙁

    At least no one is going to come after me next week.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Every time the teems pipe up I give them the house bills and they shut up right quick

    • TARDis

      Apparently I used 400kWh more electricity this year at this time than last year. Dammit.

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Gas is on a downtrend here in Vegas. Any word on why? Threats from the President or other things? News doesn’t actually dig to find out so was just curious

    • creech

      Greedy oil companies got a conscience? Or maybe the price of a barrel has gone down as the market discovered Russian oil is still entering the world supply despite sanctions.

    • Rat on a train

      Down $0.40 from peak here.

    • juris imprudent

      It’s the usual seasonal variation, peak from Memorial Day to 4th of July, so it’s maybe a little early.

      • TARDis

        Usually the July 4th week is contested for the week/days off. Not this year. People actually want to work the paid holiday and save it for later.

    • Plinker762

      Everyone bought electric cars.

    • rhywun

      No change in NYC. Still around 4.95 here.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        it’s a sad day when NYC is cheaper than OR

  16. Aloysious

    HAIL ZARDOZ.

    Bring back the cowboy hat, pilgrim. /John Wayne voice

  17. Aloysious

    That second picture gives me a wonderful idea.

    US Border Patrol on horseback should all wear big ZARDOZ heads when chasing down and ‘whipping’ illegal immigrants undocumented workers future grain field technicians.

    Think of the optics.

    • R.J.

      Hmmm…. A Zardoz Snapchat filter…

  18. Gustave Lytton

    Pallets of bricks, just happened to be delivered right now but it’s a totally legit job so please ignore

    https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-bricks-dc-idUSL1N2YE2C6

    Around here any job material is delivered either on-site inside fenced areas with cameras or staged at the contractor’s yard. Why would it be delivered unattended, with no security? After two years of rioting and that sort of thing is supposedly allowed in DC? Bullshit.

    • The Hyperbole

      Except those aren’t good throwin’ bricks, those look more like large pavers or retaining wall blocks, weighing 30 or 40 lbs each. Not what you want for a good riot projectile.

      • TARDis

        See any mangonels in the area?

      • Gustave Lytton

        So like an extra 20 seconds to smash into smaller chunks?

      • The Hyperbole

        If those are the stones I think they are they aren’t that easy to break, if you have to split one for a corner or sommat it’s a pain in the ass. In this case I’m willing to go with Occam – construction materials and equipment were there for a construction project.

      • Zwak, who counted all his blessings, and counted only one.

        You assume whomever ordered the bricks knows the difference. Yard foreman probably made scratch on the upsell, dumped some slow movers.

      • The Hyperbole

        And they bought rebar/remesh sheets and ordered a roller just to make it look convincing.

    • rhywun

      Would Reuters and/or the DC government lie to you?!

  19. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    ERMAHGERD this RV park is on the AVL airport approach!

    • Ownbestenemy

      whooooo!

    • slumbrew

      Did you catch my SXM-from-a-boat video yesterday , KK?

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Oh, fine, make me look up the AVL airport code.

      • Ted S.

        Aston Villa.

      • rhywun

        ha there’s where I went

    • Mustang

      AVL? You’re about an hour from my new home.

  20. CPRM

    Don’t hold up Wednesday on my account. I got my PC running again. But not where I have it all set up for audio, so I can’t get a cartoon done. Seems the issue now isn’t the video card like I thought, but most likely the power back-up strip. But I had to get up and running in a different room for now to get a TV show edited. Don’t know when I’ll have time to sort everything out. So no cartoon this week.

    I’ve also got another dilemma. I ordered a new video card when I thought that was the issue. Now that I know it’s not to bite the $300 and install the newer better card or return it?

    • R.J.

      Sorry. Looks like it’s time to play “write a better singles ad for OMWC” then.

  21. Evan from Evansville

    Well. Hello, everyone! Today I was productive. Nothing big but necessary. Tomorrow my goals are to actually begin to look my ass off for work. “Constantly Looking for Work” is now the name of my Job.

    I’m excited, terrified, ignorant, exasperated, invigorated, and much more. Most of this comes from Ev being a fucking idiotic asshole last week. Took another fall and spent an hour or two in the hospital! Fell over in public and my bro had to get me in an ambulance. Ev. Stop. Fucking. Doing. This.

    I think his Angry Brother Rant at me legit hit the mark this time. So far Fri, Sat, Sun, and now and further I’ve been legit booze-free. I recorded a call with a friend of mine who has quit, as well. We are in touch and were inseparable in Korea. He was saying it takes a few rough days at first. First day SUCKED. But then, on the contrary…day two was full of this profound energy and astonished happiness that I’ve been idiotically throwing away for a looooong time.

    I’m incredibly lucky to have such people looking after me. It baffles me how I’m possibly so blessed. The drive to be better is also hampered by my behavior having directly led to the loss of both of my Romantic Ladies in my life. Learn from mistakes, Ev. Don’t repeat them…over and over.

    The Book of Evan goes on. I have legitimate optimism and determination this time to accomplish this goal. I never did before. Nothing even touching this.

    Onward. Upward. Always.

    • Gender Traitor

      I think his Angry Brother Rant at me legit hit the mark this time. So far Fri, Sat, Sun, and now and further I’ve been legit booze-free. I recorded a call with a friend of mine who has quit, as well.

      Someone I Know will mark his 44th sober-versary on 7/11. Did it, of course, one day at a time. If you find you need another rant, I suspect he could dust off his ListenYouCommunistSonOfABitch speech from when he was working his way up the ranks (patient->orderly->counselor->acting director) at the rehab where he got clean.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Hrm. That sounds hilarious/rad/terrifying/unnerving…I hope it lasts…

        “One day at a time.” That’s what’s what is weirding me out the most. The first legit-free day was like a veil was lifted over me. That veil had been heavy. I suddenly became so much more physically and mentally agile without it weighing me down. I know that “This too shall not last” is just as universal as “This too shall pass.”

        I think it’s been interesting and uplifting so far. I know that I’m new on the rungs, but you only get to make one first impression. It’s good strategy to make a good one and have it last. So far, so good. I’m definitely smoking myself out pretty fierce. That was a big part of coming back. This was a distinct strategy of replacing a (fun) poison with something that’s actually quite beneficial if not done…like at work. That was the play and I think it’s smart. I’ve done my first three days without any booze and am finishing up the fourth.

        I’ll take that. Makes tomorrow seem much easier.

      • Tom Teriffic

        GodDAMN I’m tempted to pontificate, dispense unwanted advice or some shit like that. But I won’t. Congrats on receiving your fist platitude (one day, etc.). It’s a good one. I’ll bestow one more and get out of your way. It has to do with not expecting the world to give you a pass just because you quit boozing. There’s rough patches in life, real damn hard times too, ahead, and you’ll not have your security blanket to take the edge off. So here’s platitude #2: There is nothing so terrible or difficult but what a drink won’t make worse.

        ListenYouCommunistSonOfABitch, go get ’em. Try not to fall over.

  22. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The “Better than I expected” Edition)
    #154
    Champs
    grrizzly 18
    whiz 18

    Not Adahn 19
    Grosspatzer 20
    kinnath 20
    Tulip 20
    QuordleBot 21
    Sean 21
    Cannoli 22
    Dr. Fronkensteen 22
    Grummun 22
    trshmnstr the terrible 22
    Tundra 22
    Nmae’s BEAM. James BEAM 23
    Grumbletarian 24
    SDF-7 24
    Ted S. 24
    The Hyperbole 25
    The Other Kevin 26
    robc 27
    Ozymandias 30

    Chump
    JG43 117

    Three days in and you people are still putting up some pretty decent numbers. 22 Players, 26.68181818 Average, 13/9 TL. In tourney news ‘Patzer and kinnath tied so they will face off tomorrow and the rest of us can concentrate on not fucking up the nice week we got going without the added pressure of mano y mano competition.

    • MikeS

      🙄

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh, hey everyone, MikeS got a 21 and is on a 9 day no-chump streak.

      • MikeS

        I thought you were doing it on purpose since it was 2 days in a row. And shush with the pathetic no-chump streak.

    • MikeS

      I didn’t know we had open borders.