162 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    You’re simply the First
    More First than all the rest
    Firster than anyone
    Anyone I ever met

  2. Ted S.

    Regarding the Beavis and Butthead link above, I was reminded of this scene.

    • R.J.

      I am excited by a new Beavis and Butthead movie!

    • EvilSheldon

      That’s a great scene.

      I kinda like my ending better though. It’s the one where Lt. Stigler picks up a coffee mug, says, “Well, FML then,” and caves Honecker’s fucking skull in, and Honecker spends the next forty years needing someone to wipe his ass for him.

      I’ve never been accused of being a forgiving sort.

    • db

      OK, so, I don’t see any reference at all to CRT in the B&B trailer. Did they alter it?

      • db

        Oh, I see, you have to follow the twitter link

      • slumbrew

        That last line kills me

    • DEG

      That’s a good scene.

  3. Fatty Bolger

    Skull and Bones sounds like Sea of Thieves with more realistic graphics.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Yes, but will it have those great sea shanties.

    • SDF-7

      What, it isn’t corporate raiders from Yale? (It is fun to charter an accountant….)

      • db

        And sail the wide accountancy!

      • Tonio

        +1 Terry Gilliam

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As long as I get to keel haul some of the Bushes, I’ll buy it.

  4. slumbrew

    “Yeah, we’re gonna get jobs on Wall St.”

    😀

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Sounds like you just need to be educated”

  5. KSuellington

    Love the JJ’s chicken fried steak at the Oxford in downtown Missoula.

  6. Shpip

    Full-grown orcas can be over 30 feet long and weigh over 7 tons, according to Whale and Dolphin Conservation. Orcas hunt in packs and eat a range of prey, including seals and dolphins, but also sharks and squids.

    I would posit that as apex predators, they eat whatever they want and can manage to catch.

    And whatever you do, don’t piss one off.

    • TARDis

      mmmCharlotte. (back in the day)

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      While fishing in the Gulf of Alaska we motored alongside a pod of 28 orcas for a while. It was both awesome and frightening at the same time. One of them came at us broadside before diving under the boat at the last second.

      • Shpip

        Were you targeting ling cod or salmon, or just fishing for the halibut?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        All of the above, but we mostly got big ‘buts.

      • Ted S.

        You like big ‘buts and you cannot lie.

      • dontreadonme

        I’ve had one take a 30+ pound salmon right off my line. I just said, “you’re welcome, MF”. And that was the last strike of the day. When the lion is around, all the gazelles head for the thick brush.

  7. creech

    Earlier, we learned that Cleveland’s school board removed the names of three problematic men from school buildings. Will they get around to changing the name of the city itself? Apparently, founder Moses Cleveland plied some natives with whiskey and lied to them about the treaty status of the land he coveted. I wonder if any person could withstand a determined investigation by the easily offended?

    • Nephilium

      Point of order. Moses’ name was Cleaveland, the city name is different due to the full last name not fitting on a newspaper masthead. So it’s already been changed!

      • Brochettaward

        When I found the capital of the new world post-First That Will change Everything, any abbreviation of my name and titles will be punishable by death.

      • MikeS

        I accept your terms, Bro.

      • Tonio

        Technically, the name of the newspaper which appears at the top of the first page, often in a large display typeface, is known as the “nameplate.”

      • Nephilium

        Don’t tell the brewery. 🙂

      • Tonio

        I won’t. It’s a frequently-made mistake.

      • creech

        Chair appreciates the Point of Order correcting Chair’s typing mistake. Lots of cities and towns need name changes: Richmond KY and Richmond IN glorify the capital of the Slavocracy. Dallas TX is named after Polk’s vice president who advocated annexing all of Mexico. Jackson, MS. no comment needed. Jefferson City, MO, Washington, D.C.
        And what about Harriet Tubman? She kept traveling in the slave states even after Top. Men. advised moral citizens to boycott the South.

      • Nephilium

        If it makes you feel better, there have already been several attempts to try to force a rename of Columbus, Ohio.

  8. Tundra

    Happy Friday, Riven!

    And thanks for the lynx. The orca one is amazing.

    “This specific type has learned how to target sharks for their lipid-rich, nutrient-dense liver, which can be up to one-third of the shark’s body weight.”

    Health freaks.

    Love the B&B clip. I laugh my ass off every time Beavis says “we’re subverting existing paradigms”. I may actually have to watch the whole thing.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      They read your recommendation of Deep Nutrition.

    • slumbrew

      I appreciate that Judge leverages his FU-money to make what he wants.

  9. Nephilium

    It’s a holiday weekend, rather then the normal constrained waiting room Zoom, I present to you.

    The Holiday Weekend Zoom/Happy Hour/Cookout Decompress open meeting. I’ll do my best to drop in to make sure it’s at least still active at 20:00 Eastern all weekend, but make no promises. Other then that, it’ll be up as long as people remember not to click the End Meeting For All button if they’re the host.

    • Tonio

      Thanks, Neph.

    • Tulip

      Don’t make me host. Or Spud.

      • slumbrew

        “No,Spud! No, don’t end the meeting! You’re hos…”

        Good times.

      • Nephilium

        If I’ve got this set up correctly, there shouldn’t need to be a host. Consider this a trial run for the end of the month.

      • db

        OK, I’m in, solo. It doesn’t say I’m the host.

        I love being the only one in the hot tub. I get to make the rules. NO SUITS!

      • slumbrew

        Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

      • db

        Bravo!

      • DEG

        No suits sounds good until you realize there are no libertarian women.

      • Spudalicious

        I’m pretty sure that’s uncalled for.

      • slumbrew

        I’m dying from the ‘vid, let me have my fun.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I went to the State Monopoly Liquor Store today and got some RC Cola at the gas station, so I shall be in fine fettle. Hopefully tomorrow I can have a fire (thunderstorm going through now and soaking everything)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Did you get Moon Pies to go with the RC?

  10. pedantic

    I didn’t know you were a Montanan! (Kalispell here) Enjoy the Kettlhouse, looks like a fun show

    • KSuellington

      Kettlehouse makes one of my all time fav beers, Cold Smoke. That stuff is awesome (and hard to find outside Montana).

      • dbleagle

        I hope you take advantage of visiting one of the local hot springs for a soak. Lolo is commercial or just pass into Idaho and there are several great wild hot springs. The concert looks like it will be fun as well.

  11. Timeloose

    Riven,

    Have fun tonight. Trombone Shorty is really good live.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Who said you could do that?

    SpaceX’s satellite-based internet business, Starlink, now has approval from the US government to expand its service to planes, ships, automobiles, RVs and other mobile vehicles.

    ——-

    The regulatory approval, handed down from the Federal Communications Commission on Thursday, also grants SpaceX the ability to expand its service to trains, ships, and other vehicles, opening up a broad swath of potential corporate customers. The company has also already been advertising its services for RV drivers.

    Praise the government. Without them we’d be lost.

    • R.J.

      “Thank you for your blessing sire!”
      *turns around and wees on the nearest guard.

      • db

        My Grandma used to use the word “wee” for that. I always thought it was quaint.

  13. LCDR_Fish

    Driving across Montana. Man, I love that part of the country…maybe next summer land-hunting….have fun.

    Dean – saw your comment late – this chili recipe includes cumin (never realized that was what I was smelling in taco meat till now), coriander, chili powder, paprika and cocoa powder.

    • slumbrew

      That sounds like a good, solid chili blend.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Guess the most interesting thing about this recipe is that I only added the kidney beans (light and dark) about 2 minutes before I finished – just enough to mix them in and let them heat up – guess it keeps them from getting soggy – esp on a 5 hour stew. But I’ve always done it in a 20min or so stovetop thing before…about to give it a shot.

      • slumbrew

        cue all the chili people screaming “no beans!”…

      • R.J.

        Not I. Chili full of beans and peppers and onions is good.

      • db

        beans, meat, tomatoes, celery, onion.

        And a shit ton of cumin, paprika, chili powder, and fresh and dried hot peppers.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Ok, thankfully that turned out VERY well. At least since I have rice to soak some up, and beer. Just the right amount of spice – not too much and definitely not too little.

        Unfortunately I was definitely light on the salt – “salt/pepper to taste” is always difficult for me trying to adjust with dipping spoons in to test periodically.

        Should be able to adjust that easier in some of the leftovers though.

      • slumbrew

        Good job!

        Getting salt level right takes practice – I’m still not great.

        Keep up good work!

      • Tulip

        British Chili. I enjoy SORTEDfood, but…

      • db

        I have a chili recipe my Dad got from a local San Francisco restaurant that he and his fellow submariners frequented when he lived there. Lots of cumin.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Cumin rocks, and is a large component of Mexican, Latin American, Spanish, Portuguese and Indian cuisine.

      And the cocoa powder in a good chili is a classic move.

      Two thumbs up.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I know exactly how you feel. I like to cumin everything I can. Even many things that the close minded people around here wouldn’t dare. Italian, Chinese, Japanese, North African, South African. I’ll even bring them all together and cumin them all at once. You might say I’ll cumin the whole melting pot.

      • Count Potato

        “I like to cumin everything I can.”

        phrasing?

      • slumbrew

        Don’t encourage him

      • Animal

        I like to cumin everything I can.

        Why did I just have a flashback to college?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Does the word “dumpster” excite you?

      • Animal

        Not any more.

      • MikeS

        *applause*

    • rhywun

      Yeah, cumin is weird. I just think “meat” even when I taste it by itself.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        And it’s even better when it’s roasted and smoked.  😋

      • Count Potato

        Try throwing whole cumin in a hot pan, remove the pan from heat, then grind it.

      • Count Potato

        Plenty of vegetarian food has cumin.

      • juris imprudent

        I have two uses for it in rice and it tastes entirely different in each. Maybe a 1/2 tsp in a rice steamer with jasmine rice for a Thai style, or with the rest of the fixings (chicken stock, sauteed rice & onion, tomato sauce and peas) for Mexican arroz amarillo.

      • hayeksplosives

        There is also a spice called “black cumin” or kala jeera that isn’t related to cumin but can be used in its place if you’re not a fan of regular cumin.

        I use lots of Indian (dot) spices in my chili, which makes it quite different from Tex-Mex chili but has won a few cookoffs. And an Egyptian guy I worked with even wanted the recipe!

      • UnCivilServant

        Recipe? For Chili?

        Add ingredients that might be in there until you look and go “Yeah that looks like enough”. Cook low and slow.

      • hayeksplosives

        I know! I told him there wasn’t a recipe, per se, but I did provide an ingredient list and a few techniques like at what stage of the process I add certain things.

        One of my oddballs is to add pickled green peppercorns. I love them in my “Asian” inspired chili!

    • Tundra

      I think you’re supposed to describe it as ‘curated’.

      But thanks, either way. That was a good one!

      • Sean

        I snorted at the end.

      • Tundra

        The hat snap was a nice touch.

  14. DEG

    “Stalin asked the peasant what he would like as a reward. Realising whom he had saved, the peasant cried out: ‘Nothing! Just please don’t tell anyone I saved you!’”

    I love that joke.

    With his two-minute takedown of CRT, Mike Judge didn’t just expose the absurdity of white privilege talking points; he won a victory for free expression and struck a blow to cancel culture.

    🙂

  15. Count Potato

    “US families should suffer high gas prices to protect ‘the liberal world order’, Biden’s economic advisor Brian Deese says when asked what he would say to Americans who can’t afford $4.85 a gallon”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10973371/Brian-Deese-says-Americans-stand-firm-paying-record-high-gas-prices.html

    “Murder by malnutrition: Vegan mother is found guilty over death of 18-month-old son who weighed just 17lb when he died after being fed diet of only raw fruit and vegetables”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10973883/Vegan-mother-39-guilty-murdering-18-month-old-son-weighed-just-17lb.html

    CWAA

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      At least with the New World Order we got a cool song. Now we just get high gas prices.

    • rhywun

      I see the Dems are still writing the GOP’s campaign commercials for them.

    • one true athena

      DeSantis should invite some orcas to start patrolling the waters off the Florida coast for common-sense shark control.

      • creech

        Aren’t orcas black and white…same as the swastika emblem? See. See.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      So did the predator give up because it was sleepy?

    • Tundra

      If the shark does attack, experts recommend punching the shark with all their might in the nose, due to their sensitivity. In most cases, experts says, that will drive the shark away.

      That sounds like bullshit. Can any of you ocean peeps confirm?

      • Nephilium

        I’ve heard that as well. If a shark is already attacking me, I’ll try it. However, I think I would much rather not be within arm’s reach of a shark in the wild, nor put in a position where my survival requires me to accurate punch it in an area directly above lots and lots of teeth.

      • dontreadonme

        When I have been diving around a bunch of great whites the divemaster carried a bang stick claiming that a pop to the nose would take care of any aggression so must be true. Of course all of the resulting blood in the water would probably make the situation much worse so I am very happy to have never seen it in action.

      • slumbrew

        Let me check with my buddy, Lefty.

    • Sean

      Huh. I expected ugly with blue hair.

      • Gender Traitor

        I strongly suspect she’s only “bisexual” because it’s fashionable. She’d go non-binary or tranny, but she still wants to doll herself up all purty.

      • slumbrew

        Allow me to translate:

        “Look at meeeeeeeeee!”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        👆

    • R.J.

      Good Lord. What a wretched girl. How did he abuse you? Did he demand you do the dishes? Help around the house? Express concern for your clearly out of control bullshit? What a PITA.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Literal stereotype

    • Gender Traitor

      He bought her a car as a “bribe,” but she still wants to keep it. 🙄

      Entitled Cunte.

    • The Other Kevin

      Poor thing, cut off after she becomes an adult.

    • Tundra

      I have a 20 year old daughter. They don’t function well in 2022.

      I used to laugh at people who said that the schools, media, etc were hell-bent on turning kids against their parents. It isn’t so funny anymore.

  16. LCDR_Fish

    Not sure if L0b0t will be linking to it again in the forum, but looks like Vinegar Syndrome has another classic russkie film up for preorder (ships July 26). Directed by Ptushko just like Ilya Muromets – just preordered it myself. Looks great.

    https://vinegarsyndrome.com/collections/deaf-crocodile/products/sampo-deaf-crocodile

    Really hope they also do Sadko eventually (only a lousy quality Russian DVD available to date) – this director really has an eye for spectacle and it’s great seeing practical and in-camera effects from the other side of the iron curtain.

  17. one true athena

    A few years ago there was a study of the great whites off the coast of Cali that discovered when orcas were within miles, the great white population – all of them tagged by this group of researchers– booked it out of the area, some going thousands of miles, and didn’t come back for months. This behavior was recorded even when the pod was just passing through.

    I don’t remember if it was the same study, but there was a report that a specific pod had learned to turn sharks onto their backs, which causes the shark to go into torpor and the orcas can eat them at their leisure. Which would be terrifying, so I can definitely understand why a shark would want to gtfo.

    • slumbrew

      Yep, that’s a pretty awful way to go.

    • Spudalicious

      Orcas are the shit. Marauding gangs that just do whatever shit they want.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Kind of like living in Philly

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        And they’re in black & white livery, like another roving gang of thugs we’re familiar with!

      • UnCivilServant

        Why do you think China tries to give them away to so many countries?

  18. Tulip

    A neighbor asked me today if I was dating Julio, because his truck is at my house so often (during the day). He’s the plumber. FML.

    note: I could do worse, but no we are not dating.

    • Not Adahn

      Plumbers, cable repair guys, an pizza deliverers are all notoriously unfaithful. There have been hundreds of documentaries about this.

      • slumbrew

        It’s a surprisingly common subject for documentaries.

      • rhywun

        bow-chicka-bow-bow

      • Tulip

        Sigh. I expect better from you Rhywun.

      • rhywun

        Just thinking of recent visits from a cable guy and an AC guy… homina-homina…

      • Not Adahn
      • Tundra

        Love that video.

      • DrOtto

        I was working on a customer’s truck at a work site while listening to Classic Vinyl on Sirius XM when that song came on recently. As the acoustic guitar intro was rapping up, one of the Mexican’s at the work site exclaims “Tequila!”. We all started laughing. Both good songs.

      • Tulip

        I’m extra salty because OMWC asked me to write about online dating. *shudders*

      • slumbrew

        Hello. Meine dispatcher says there is sometsing wrong mit deine kable.

      • Tulip

        TIWTANLW

      • slumbrew

        Surely not the only reason.

      • slumbrew

        I mean, I get that some people don’t care for The Big Lebowski…

      • Tundra

        We call those people “wrong.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Ja! Danke! Die konnekzhon ist hier in die batroom!

    • rhywun

      The new hotness of publicly-funded abortions is… distasteful.

      • Sean

        That’s the understatement of the day.

    • Count Potato

      “The homeowner, who wasn’t injured during the ordeal, was questioned by police and later allowed to return home.

      The sheriff’s office said the initial investigation showed that Teague was “justified” in the shooting, but the probe was still ongoing…

      “He was defending his property. That happened inside of his home. So, I don’t think there would be any reason for him to be arrested.””

      Well, one would hope, but it’s California.

    • rhywun

      Speaking of NR, just read that Andrew McCarthy – whom I had thought of as a respectable writer – slobbered all over that chick who lied to the show trial the other day. Oops.

      • Count Potato

        The witness who wasn’t there?

      • rhywun

        I think that’s her. The one where the SS agents chimed in and said “nuh uh” and offered to testify to it.

      • Count Potato

        Totally not hearsay.

    • EvilSheldon

      The assholes who do this often end up injuring or killing the horses in the process.

      • Lackadaisical

        I kind of find this hard to believe, unless it’s just by spooking the horse?

  19. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The “The Great Enchumpening” Edition)
    #157
    Champ
    Not Adahn 19
    Grummun 19

    Grosspatzer 22
    Tundra 22
    whiz 22
    QuordleBot 23
    MikeS 24
    Sean 24
    JG43 26
    one true athena 26
    kinnath 26
    Grumbletarian 27

    Chumps
    Cannoli 113
    robc 115
    grrizzly 116
    Dr. Fronkensteen 117
    Tulip 117
    The Hyperbole 119
    Ted S. 119
    SDF-7 120
    db 122
    trshmnstr the terrible 123
    TARDis 213

    Lotsa zeros in the NCS column today, I mean forget the Tundra Line Split we split the Chump/No Chump line today. The rest of the numbers aren’t even worth mentioning.

    This Week in Quordle and Tourney news – Not Adahn may be humanities last hope, he edged out Quordlebot for the top player of the week honors 19.57 to 20.29, now he faces the diabolical binary demon in the Tourney finals, Good Luck We’re all counting on you. TARD is pulled what will henceforth be known as the TARDis he got both the best (15) and the worst (213) scores of the week.

    As always here are the weeks stats for those of you keeping track at home.

  20. hayeksplosives

    Finally got my S&W Ladysmith and Ruger LCP ii today. Comes with 10 free days at the range, so I’ll give that range a try. There are several in town so I’ll probably try out a few and then choose one to join on an annual subscription.

    The Ruger is so tiny and lightweight! I like that it has a real, honest-to-goodness safety latch.

    Anybody have advice on ammo for the two guns? I haven’t bought .22 pistol ammo before, just rifle. And my other 38 is NOT +p so that will be a new foray as well. I’m not obsessed with velocity, just accuracy and good mechanical fit.

    • Tundra

      Congrats!

      You’re gonna have some fun! Planning to carry the S&W?

    • Tundra

      Also, a booze thread just dropped. You should move this over there!

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks!