“Is Dr. Cunt here today?” the Oval Office curtains asked in a loud stage whisper.
“Please don’t call my grandmother that,” Finnegan said. She say down on the couch and sighed wearily.
“Step-grandmother,” Hunter said, stepping out, dressed disturbingly in skin-tight LuluLemon, the black fabric swallowing light.
“That’s a silly distinction to make.”
“I had a real mother and she died,” Hunter said, pouting a bit.
“What do you want, Dad?” Finnegan asked.
“Crack,” Hunter said, smiling, “Well, more crack.”
“That’s just what you need, I’m sure.”
“Have you ever even tried crack, my child?” Hunter asked. “It’s…” He stared off into space for a long minute, a smile playing on his lips. “It’s wonderful.”
“I don’t want to try crack, Dad,” Finnegan said. “I don’t even drink.”
“Mitt Romney’s child!” Hunter cried, making a sign against the evil eye.
“I wonder why I don’t drink, or do drugs,” she said leadingly. “I’m still technically a virgin, you know.”
“Technical virgins are the best kind,” Hunter said.
“Gross! Just gross!”
“Whatever, lots of people have taken it in the ass,” Hunter said. “Did you go ass-to-mouth?”
“NO! DEAR GOD! YOU DON’T GET TO ASK ME THAT!’ Finnegan screamed, slapping at him.
“Your Mom did,” Hunter said, dodging away. “She threw up on my dick.”
“Why can’t I just faint?” Finnegan asked the ceiling, hoping it would get through the wood and plaster to the ears of God. “I want to pass out right now, I want amnesia, I want to literally die.”
Hunter, laughing, pulled out a bottle that said VHS HEAD CLEANER and took a long sniff of its stinging vapors.
“Grandma just called Mexicans ‘tacos,’ you know,” Hunter said as a deep flush crept up his face. He shivered and did a little wiggle and sighed. “Have you ever eaten a Mexican’s taco? ¡Caliente!”
Finnegan groaned.
“Want some?” he asked, holding the bottle toward her.
“No,” she said, hugging herself, hands jammed into her armpits.
“Makes your butthole open up,” Hunter said, pausing to dig his loincloth out of his ass crack. “Feels real nice.”
While Finnegan made a series of disgusted noises, Karine walked into the Oval Office, Joe leaning on her heavily.
“Hay, Karine!” Hunter said, flapping out a wave. “You look good, girl.”
“Hunter,” Karine said, his name pronounced with icy crags.
“You’re not still mad with me are you?” Hunter asked in a mocking pout.
“He’s supposed to be getting ready for his flight to Israel,” Finnegan said, stepping past her father.
“I found him in the East Wing, smelling the handle of the door to the women’s room,” Karine said into Finnegan’s ear.
“C’mon, Karine,” Hunter said, “A lot of lesbians go bi when they take MDMA.”
“Shalom,” Joe said and smiled, and then unsmiled and knitted his brow in confusion.
And I am done. Luckily the cleaning lady is here to wipe down the mess of coffee all over the walls.
SF clearly stays up to date not only on the news, but also on the Glibertarian commentariat.
“I don’t want to try crack, Dad,” Finnegan said. “I don’t even drink.”
“Mitt Romney’s child!” Hunter cried, making a sign against the evil eye.
I laughed.
I needed this today – absolute perfection!
Challenging to pick my favorite line, but:
“Grandma just called Mexicans ‘tacos,’ you know,” Hunter said as a deep flush crept up his face. He shivered and did a little wiggle and sighed. “Have you ever eaten a Mexican’s taco? ¡Caliente!”
“I found him in the East Wing, smelling the handle of the door to the women’s room,”
That one got me too.
Thirded
You people have no idea how much you hurt me. I do so much for you, and you turn around and hurl around these microaggressions towards me and my people as if all means nothing.
Fourthed
My vote is for: “Have you ever eaten a Mexican’s taco? ¡Caliente!”
But its a tough call.
Do you squeeze a lime on it first?
Not exactly on it, but close.
Joe’s first statement in Israel: “What do I do now?”
https://t.me/azmilitary11/10386
Holy shit.
“What am I doin’ now?” He asks it do plaintively, and all those handlers scurry to point him in the right direction, literally pointing to where he should walk.
No one questions the very obvious amounts of people that have to prop him up like Weekend at Bernies to shuffle him around.
They must have cut way back on the Adderall.
I keep telling people, “they’re dipping him in Aricept™ “, fer cryin’ out loud, but no-one listens to me.
It didn’t work.
Gotta honor that Holocaust, huh Joe?
How is this any different that what Meat Puppet Joe has been doing for the last 50 years?
Coming Down – Meat Puppets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFF8X8KfCjU&list=OLAK5uy_ntY1sjMMLYEj2KFPN8gtLHfpH_vCUxGEs&index=13
“I found him in the East Wing, smelling the handle of the door to the women’s room,” Karine said into Finnegan’s ear.
Howls.
I guess I’m partial to the subtle stuff.
First line comes from the top rope and only gets better from there.
VHS HEAD CLEANER
There’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a long time.
And now I’m wondering if tape head cleaner had Amyl Nitrate in it, all this time?
I had the same question. Google says yes
All of those IT jokes about ‘drinking the tape head cleaner’ make a lot more sense now…
Sniffed, not drunk. Silly str8 ppl.
Well, IT “people “. I mean, do they even qualify as human?
Drop from users where username like ‘Zwak%’;
commit;
Crap, drop removes the whole damn table. I should’ve learned SQL better.
So this is why we’ve been having server problems…
QED
I guess if you like pissing yourself.
Mostly just Isopropyl Alcohol.
But a huffer got a huff!
The street name is poppers.
I remember them being labeled as “carpet deodorizer” in Coconut Grove. Only tried it once, made my face flush like crazy.
This was sublime.
For amusement, I was checking out “auto tempest” (as seen on the intertoobz) car shopping site.
First-gen BMW 320is are being listed for 20k and up. Crazy, man.
Because a 2002 is just about unobtainable.
For a moment there I thought we were getting sentient curtains to make up for our missing Hat and Hair. I was anxious to discover what would be the curtain’s foil. Alas, SF was just bing a tease – it was only Hunter.
Door handle? Now I won’t be able to look at this picture without wondering where those fingers have been.
https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2019/11/joe-biden-jill-biden-finger-bite.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=1388
For a moment there I thought we were getting sentient curtains to make up for our missing Hat and Hair.
I was so ready for the furnishings in the oval office to start talking to each other.
Wow, just wow. So much new ground covered. Oval office curtains. Poppers (even though I’m slightly pissed at Sug for revealing a gay secret). “Icy crags.” Door-handle sniffing.
But, my favorite line (out of so many good ones): “Mitt Romney’s child!” Hunter cried, making a sign against the evil eye.
revealing a gay secret
Even a boring, old, straight guy like me has hear of poppers and there purpose thanks to modern entertainment.
Yeah, that secret’s been out for a while, Ton…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eRhxpv4OTDE
Meh…I leaned the secret from Silicon Valley
“Was I in possession of cocaine, amphetamines, amyl nitrate, also known as poppers, at the time of my arrest? In large quantities.’
“Um, what does amyl nitrate do? Oh, it dilates the anus.
That is accurate.
Also produces euphoria.”
Not It’s Always Sunny?
More for the line and character…and I was never an Always Sunny fan…*hang head in shame*
I don’t even know who you are.
Sam Kinnison did a routine that involved them.
“I’m not gonna lie, you will lose some brain cells…”
Oblig: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i7mEB2wnDLQ
I was doing poppers with bar buddies long before I was aware of that particular purpose. I just liked the high.
I was too in high school. But now I understand the smirks I used to get from the cashier.
I tried to grunt untz untz untz and do pelvic thrusts while reading Hunters lines.
LOL
Let me clarify: I’m not in public, and I might or might not be day drinking.
Yeah, I pretty much picture Hunter as Quagmire from Family Guy in these.
Quagmire was pithy and funny though
I meant more in terms of mannerisms. Quagmire is a downright charming gentleman in comparison.
I had an almost identical conversation with WebDom.
WebDom is secretly Mitt Romney’s child? Now you’re just fucking with us.
Alas, no marijuana reference.
He didn’t want to collapse the known universe
Oh, I hit the trifecta today. Just wait.
*shivers*
That is foreboding and exciting all at once. Like pitiful sex with an ex after a night of cheap wine.
Alas, no marijuana reference.
…When crack is just not whack enough.
From the first line to the last, SF, it was great. I was thinking all the time that Ol’ Joe is in the ME and future of 300M people is held in the balance and SF is seeing into the future.
I wish that SF was wrong but I know he’s not. Thanks for another chapter in the ongoing saga of “Another Day in the Barrel with Joe”
Things I never wanted to visualize.
Because a 2002 is just about unobtainable.
~$40k and skyward. I miss my 2002.
My mom’s new neighbor has a nicely restored chartreuse one.
Someone drinks their tea with their pinky out…
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
Maintenance costs?
A porcupine has it’s pricks on the outside.
/former BMW Z3 driver
Huh. Wow. Is it always this disturbing?
Quite often.
Nope. This is pretty tame.
Wednesday lunch is usually a late lunch
Usually. Unless he is lulling us into a big one the following week.
You should have been here last Wednesday…
The Hillary stuff will knock your sock off.
Oh, very will played.
No. It’s usually worse.
late to the game
3️⃣4️⃣
8️⃣6️⃣
Daily Quordle 170
5️⃣6️⃣
8️⃣4️⃣
chartreuse
I can fix that. I have a paint gun.
Fine: safety yellow?
https://fountainsquareroundie.com/bmw-2002-factory-color-shirts/
(errr, safety green)
Close enough for government work.
I don’t go on Reddit often, but a couple of times I’ve seen videos – the ones we’ve all seen – of (typically minority) thieves stocking up with bags full of crap while employees and customers stand by and helplessly watch. It shouldn’t shock me, but it sort of still does just how many come out of the woodwork to not just defend the behavior, but to applaud it. You could develop a drinking game out of it as you watch one champagne socialist after another hit all the talking points about greedy corporations, late stage capitalism, people stealing to make ends meat or feed their children, arguing that it doesn’t effect them any etc. If anyone points out that this happens in blue cities where woke DA’s refuse to prosecute and where cops don’t bother to respond, or heaven forbid race is brought up as any sort of motivating factor behind the willingness of corporations and cities to tolerate this shit, out come the denials and howls of how ridiculous the right is with their conspiracies.
Finally, don’t you dare to suggest that this happens less in areas where people have access to guns for self-defense.
…anything contrary to the Reddit-approved narrative, you’ll be banned.
Mmmmm, burnt ends
https://www.vindulge.com/brisket-burnt-ends/
“Technical virgins are the best kind,” Hunter said.
What you did, I have seen it, SF.
Where did you see it? Rainbow party?
“Technically correct is the best kind”
In honor of Dr. Jill’s taco comment, I’ve changed my pronouns. I’m not even Hispanic, but who can deny my truth?
OT. Well they found “somebody”.
Arrest made in rape of Ohio girl that led to Indiana abortion drawing international attention
If true just put him down.
Why now? I’m wondering if they found somebody barely if at all mentally competent to take a fall.
However, DNA evidence may make a case. If so, the dude won’t last long in prison.
Regardless if the story pans out or not, shit like that is why the GOP is losing the PR war over the Roe decision. A lot of Republicans are overreaching and going for more restrictive bans than many voters find palpable. This is the one thing that could energize Dems before the midterms. For many on the right, this is obviously a pretty damn important issue given their beliefs. For those of us who may not be so clear cut in our beliefs, it’s kind of a big risk to go for all out abortion bans that don’t even accommodate things like rape and incest no matter how small in number they may be.
Remember that Roe was built on the lie of a woman being raped. Now that the media has their arrest (which I’m sure they had a heads up on), expect this to gain even more traction. You won’t be able to prove that, say, they waited until the girl didn’t qualify for an abortion under Ohio law to get one in another state for propaganda purposes.
This is where I am. I don’t say anything to anybody because the right RHEEEEEEs at any exceptions. I also don’t want to be associated with any kind of those crazy-ass ghouls.
There is a place for elective abortion, within reasonable limits. The Rs don’t want to hear “reasonable”. The progs don’t want to hear “limits.”
The way we got where we are as a country is that the right never fought back on anything. I doubt the far right will get what it wants but if they don’t fight back at all, the far left will get everything it wants.
If you truly believe that an abortion is the murder of a human being – is it REEEEEEEEE’ing? Or staying principled, even as nominal allies shit-talk you?
Yeah, I’m with you on this. Is being against capital punishment “RHEEEEing” also?
Mojeaux didn’t specify what sort of restrictions she sees as reasonable or what sort of R measures she’s talking about. There are most definitely some zealots out there who are going farther than many/most people are comfortable with proposing outright bans on all abortions regardless of time frame or circumstance. We can debate that all day, but I could certainly see how someone could see that as rheeing in some cases.
I’m of the opinion that if you view it as murder, then the only real exceptions I could see would be in the case where giving birth puts the mother’s life at risk or perhaps involving a child (which perhaps would also involve putting the life at risk, though I’m no expert here). Even in cases of rape or incest. Though I could certainly see where people would get squishy on that.
I’m not sure how to answer that because the “RHEEEEEING” is AT ME, over my willingness to entertain exceptions and the fact that there is a time and a place for elective abortion, yes.
But of course, this is why I don’t say anything about it at all. I don’t want to be rheeed at for my personal opinion, and I don’t want to be associated with the lefty ghouls.
I understood you perfectly. I took umbrage at you referring to people stating that they believe abortion is murder as RHEEEEing.
Now, if you’re talking about people personally getting in your face and judging you about it, I guess that would be legit RHEEEEing.
Clearly you did not understand me at all. I did not say that, nor do I believe it.
If I say, say on Facebook or something, that I think there is a need for elective abortion to X weeks and/or in Y cases, I’m going to get pummeled by both sides. Yes, people are going to get in my face. They are going to RHEE at me.
Moj, I feel your pain. I don’t social media, but if I mention I’m pretty much a viability, even otherwise reasonable people get really hot. “What about this? What about that?”. I think 50 years of constant trench warfare on abortion has left the middle ground a no-man’s-land.
I didn’t word what I was trying to say very well and don’t have the energy to try and fix it. Suffice to say I came to understand completely what you were saying.
This is what I get for trying to rush comments on a delicate subject while also trying to work.
Yes, that’s where I am, but as you or someone else pointed out the other day, technology is making this a wibbledy-wobbledy line.
I’m often conflicted, but I usually side with this guy.
technology is making this a wibbledy-wobbledy line.
Its been very stable for quite awhile, due to fetal lung development.
It will likely take an artificial womb to move the line appreciably from where it is now. And I think we are a pretty long way from that. When it happens, it will blow up the abortion debate regardless.
The top 5 subjects in mainstream media don’t even rate in the top 10 concerns of Americans. So the idea that the PR war is being lost is rather dubious. The only thing being lost is ratings and eyeballs for MSM in general. Take away the pundits and academia nerds (which include many of us here) and the MSM is out of business. Local TV news viewership is less than half what is was 10 years ago. Local newspaper company revenues are less than half what they were ten years ago, and that is counting inflation. Ad rates are not inflating at all and is most of the reason Twitter was so desperate to sell – even Facebook and Google wouldn’t bail them out (although if the price goes low enough they may kick the tires).
(And what kind of business model based on “impressions” finds it worthwhile to ban users that actually generate revenue? Only a business model that is getting government subsidies – a la Canadian “journalism”.)
This is a story that has been covered across the spectrum, right and left. And 10 year old rape victim not being able to get an abortion legally is going to rile up plenty of people.
And I think you underestimate how much of a stranglehold the left still has on the narrative most people get exposed to. If you talk to a lot of people, Roe being overturned means abortions will be banned in like half the states. They don’t know that the case the Supremes heard was about a ban at 16 weeks, or that most of the laws in red states are in-line with laws in Europe. They don’t hear about the abortion on demand shit, or the states that allow abortions through the final trimester. And it only takes a few cases of far-right zealots overreaching, like the one Nephillium mentioned in Ohio, to sell the narrative that the GOP will take away all abortions.
Final point – winning elections, especially midterm elections, often isn’t about convincing anyone of anything, but energizing your own base to get off their asses and actually go vote.
Women as whole (yes of course I know there are exceptions) are rather easily manipulated as voters by appeals to emotion, particularly fear.
In this case, if enough suburban women think we’re headed for Handmaid’s Tale, the left will win the midterms.
The recent Harvard/Harris poll someone here linked to showed that only 28% wanted abortions after 23 weeks. By party, the breakdown was: 40% (D), 16% (R), 30% (I). So even a majority of D’s had their limits.
I don;t underestimate the stranglehold the left has on the narrative, I think we all overestimate the number of people that give a shit.
As it stands, under Ohio law it’s a heartbeat law, so if the heartbeat can be detected no abortion. The reporting on this has usually stated it as a stark time frame that the 10 year old was one day past. Now… there is an idiot state rep who proposed a ban all abortion bill in the statehouse.
Even to protect the life of the mother? I would think a 10 year old could easily get a life of the mother exception.
Yeah, even some of the strictest laws here are still more generous than Europe’s.
I’m still baffled how a nine year old has already gone through puberty. Hormones are whacked out in this country.
There was an article on Wikipedia posted here a few weeks back on the youngest pregnancies. Not a fun read. I think the youngest was like a 5 year old who was impregnated in the 1800’s. So, this isn’t just a modern phenomenon.
When I went looking it up, its rare, but happens. She would be the youngest reported pregnancy in the last 40+ years. All others were in the 11-14 year range.
She would be 11 if you started counting at conception.
Yeah, that’s incredibly young.
Hunted down a story on it, it includes only a life of the mother exception.
The reporting on this has usually stated it as a stark time frame that the 10 year old was one day past.
The only way that can be true is if they were looking for fetal heart tones for some period of time before they heard them, and didn’t hear them. I don’t think you can pick up fetal heart tones that early, unless you are specifically looking for them.
And the only way that would happen would be if they knew (or suspected) she was pregnant. So the day they heard them, she gets an abortion? Nobody tested her for pregnancy, even though they suspected she was pregnant?
It just doesn’t add up. Something else was going on here, even if you take the media account at face value.
And it just happened to coincide with the repeal. How convenient.
So this dude just up and confesses after all this? Okay
Hence the somebody. Also amazing that now they arrest the guy. Well past the abortion.
Not saying it didn’t happen, but funny how no action until now.
Yup. The 48-hour rule applies here – I assume this gets memory holed by Friday.
He was identified by the girl apparently. Likely DNA evidence coming in.
The timing of the abortion is the thing I’m still questioning here. Did they really not realize she was pregnant until 1 day after she couldn’t legally get an abortion in Ohio? We’ll never be able to prove it, anyway.
Let’s see what the DNA test shows.
But apparently nobody told the Ohio AG when he made inquiries. And it still sounds like the Indiana doctor, who is required to report these things, didn’t.
I still wonder if it would have been illegal for her to get an abortion in Ohio. Can’t be arsed to research it.
Look, it’s just unfortunate the alleged perp is in a protected class. You don’t want people going around hating on Latinx now, do you?
I have to imagine plenty of Latins hate this guy.
How protected you ask?
I would say if there were ever a time you would have no bond, deem a flight risk and generally a potential menace (he did confess) to society, this would probably be it.
who is believed to be undocumented
My tolerance for euphemisms gets lower every day.
I don’t go seeking media attention but if my little girl was raped and basically the State supposedly did jack all…I would be screaming from rooftops. Everything about this is so perfectly convienent
Fine: safety yellow?
The one I drove for twenty years was Sahara (tan). It’s the perfect color; looks the same, whether you washed it yesterday or a year ago.
It’s important to let the patina develop slowly.
And no subscription for heated seats.
Correct.
Meanwhile, in TX.
We better stop this silly shit damn soon.
Greenies are going to have to hide from the mob in the near future.
Windfarms, windfarms everywhere
And all the power did shrink.
Windfarms, windfarms everywhere
Nor any AC, I think.
Turbine of the Ancient Mariner?
Instead of the albatross being shot with a crossbow, it gets shredded by the windmill blades.
Those damn windmill blades cost a fortune and they break constantly. No way they make money on that. You see those special transport trucks hauling one blade at a time to repair those crippled windmills. How much diesel does that take? Are those giant blades recyclable?
They are not. The current solution is to bury the fucking things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AmrIydnXIs
Yes, but not before the deaths start piling up.
We could nip this in the bud now but noooo.
It is true that, historically, sovereign trading partners are less likely to got to war against each other.
The question to be answered is “what is the operative definition of ‘partners.'”
Also, when one of the “partners” decides to unilaterally exercise outsized leverage it has in the relationship, the historical data cease to be applicable.
It is true that, historically, sovereign trading partners are less likely to got to war against each other.
Honestly, I think that’s a fable. You can’t tell me the belligerents in Europe in WWI and WWII weren’t trading with each other. For that matter, I would be shocked if Ukraine and Russia weren’t trading with each other right up until the tanks crossed the border.
Yep, it’s nonsense. Most of Germany’s economy before WWI was built around import/export, mostly raw goods in and finished goods out. It made the country wealthy, but did nothing to stop WW1 from happening.
It’s probably a general truth but not in all cases.
Per your question, my vague recollection is that the USSR was Germany’s largest trade partner for a number of years prior to 1941.
Also in TX
Remember the last time we had a recession, inflation, and a catastrophic drought? No? Me either.
no subscription for heated seats
Not a motherboard. anywhere.
Also no motherboard.
I like.
No motherboards
https://duluth.craigslist.org/cto/d/britt-triumph-tr/7507900082.html
Lovely. Those are such pretty cars.
You should totally buy that!
My brother had a ’76. Thing was a beast.
Too many great lines, but that is a hell of a visual.
One of these days they will find your cameras, hope they are well hidden.
So this dude just up and confesses after all this? Okay
He heard about it on the teevee and said, “That sounds like something I’d do.”
The Toyota I’d really like to have in my fleet
Neat!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen one for sale on BaT. Pretty rare, I assume?
Nah, Iron Pigs are actually fairly common, at least in 4×4 circles. But they are like late ’50s Ford trucks: they just are not that popular for some reason.
Tundra- when you find your FJ40 you’ll need to run out and get some “Don’t Californicate Colorado” stickers for it.
It’s too late. As I found out during the first snowfall last winter, they have already infested.
Besides, as an interloper I think I’ll just quietly drive my FJ40 up into the mountains and MMOB!
Pretty rare, I assume?
You don’t see many around. There was one in Livingston, sitting in a trailer park. Every time I drove by I was tempted to stop and ask if he wanted to sell it…..
It was trashed.
Fuck me, the market is whacked out.
Nice truck, but Jesus that’s a lot of money.
And this is why I’m resigned to just keeping our paid-for vehicles running even if the repair is more than the car is really worth.
That is us. Just sunk 3k into the 05 4Runner with 230k+ miles. Aint buying another vehicle…
Still waiting to drop 8k on my daughters truck once the factory rebuilt engine is installed. The good news is the repair shop has received engine. So, no more waiting for parts to arrive.
$1k into a ’09 Honda Fit (albeit only w/ 109k).
I should probably get some new tires…
Yes, do it now.
LOL. I was watching that auction when it was going. I was out at 20K.
It’s almost the same truck I have (also 2002) and mine originally sold for $27,300
Just wait for the auto loan market to go belly up
You won’t be waiting long
Plus if gas stays this high they’ll practically give trucks away!
That’s what I need – a truck I can’t afford to drive.
My kid’s Kia Optima is worth more now than when he bought it used four years ago.
Time for a Hüsker break!
Your welcome.
Can’t wait to see what horrors await us in the history 100th episode.
SugarFree has such sights to show you…
Oh, The Places Your Sanity Will Go!
If Slow Joe makes it to that many episodes.
Just wait for the auto loan market to go belly up
Headline on google news this morning about auto repos going up.
How hot is it?
Too Darn Hot.
laying on 100+ degree concrete, dips balls in water.
“When your balls are happy, all is right with the world.”
-Buddha
Hot hot hot!
After the discussion above about weird old 4X4s. Here is one I always wanted as a kid.
The Powerwagon Macho
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1979-dodge-power-wagon-3/
I think the dude on Simon and Simon had one
You are correct.
I remember the Old Man had one of these. Still think that’s a pretty neat rig.