“I feel fine; stop hovering,” Joe said, swatting away Finnegan as she tried to wipe his mouth.
“At least let me get a picture of your plate for Tony,” she said, pulling out her camera.
“I finished everything!’ Joe said defensively.
“Well, he’ll want proof,” Finnegan said.
“Fuck his proof!” Joe snarled, swiping the plate off onto the floor.
Finnegan muttered angrily to herself as she cleaned up the desk and picked the plate up off the floor.
“And bring me more cough drops. I want more cough drops. I like the way they crinkle when I try to get them open.”
“For the last time, those aren’t cough drops. They’re edibles to help you sleep and you need to spot eating them, like, like, cough drops!”
“Then give me a pain pill. I want a pain pill.”
“You’ve already had your pain pill this morning.”
“My foot hurts,” Joe said. “And I heard someone trying to get in my bedroom this morning. They were jiggling the door handle.”
“OK, Grandpa.”
“They were trying to pick the lock.”
“I’ll talk to the Secret Service.”
“Tell them to shoot to kill!”
“Is he ready?” Karine asked, breezing into the day room.
“He’s had his breakfast,” Finnegan said, “But I haven’t got him to put on his pants yet.”
“I’m wearing pants!” Joe said, standing, his gray penis and pendulous scrotum swinging into view.
“I’ll come back,” Karine said and fled the room.
“Never seen a penis before?” Joe called after her. “Probably a lesbyrterian.”
“Grandpa, you can’t talk like that,” Finnegan said. She held open a leg of his boxers and tried to get him to step a leg into them.
“Well, then what do you call them?” Joe asked grumpily. “Librarians?”
Finnegan struggled to get his other leg in the boxers.
“Lesbian,” Finnegan said, “It’s always been Lesbian.”
“Whatever,” Joe said, pulling the boxers up to his ribcage. “She eats the Choco Taco, whatever they call it now.”
“That means a person that performs anilingus on someone, man or woman.”
“What? I hate all these fancy new terms.”
“Anilingus means “eating someone ass.’”
“Then call it that! Munch the Choco Taco! Swimmin’ at the mud hole! Fart diving! Terms that mean what they say!”
“You are becoming agitated, Grandpa. You need to calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down! You calm down!”
As SugarFree entries go, this one seemed… mild?
Read like a glossary so we are all up to speed on today’s lingo…with great lines
It’s a set-up. Be cautious next Wednesday, read on an empty stomach.
That’s what I’m afraid of. I got through this one with only a few dry heaves. Next week I’m expecting a full-on purge.
So, analingus is mild now? You’ve been radicalized.
Groomed.
Heroic Mulatto’s job here is done.
Note the qualifier: “As SugarFree entries go…”
“Well, then what do you call them?” Joe asked grumpily. “Librarians?”
Perfection
TBF, that Venn diagram has a lot of overlap.
We all love the emperor’s new clothes!
That’s a genuine laugh out loud line.
“Never seen a penis before?” Joe called after her. “Probably a lesbyrterian.”
That’s good stuff, right there!
Lesbopotamian.
Lesbopotamus.
DDG image search. This is the only thing that shows up.
Mildly NSFW.
I learn so much here!
Skeetin knowledge left and right.
/had to look up “skeetin”
🤓
Im really starting to think SF is either Mike Judge or one of his many writers utilized on Silicon Valley.
Evidence
(NSFW)
Exactly the scene I thought of
Or Letterkenny.
Best description of said activity: “I’ll tongue punch her fart-box”
Heard on some youtube cartoon; not FreedomToons, but that one with the 4 military characters. I believe the above gem was from the Army.
“lesbyrterian” – That’s the lost sect the Presbyterians won’t ever discuss.
I thought it was our sister site, for women only.
So THAT’S where they all are!
Meh. I’d rather be here.
Me too!
I thought they were all in that now, or is that some other schismatic?
lesbyrterian
Some kind of splitter joke if you ask me.
Tongue in cheek takes on a new meaning
Seems more like the predominant faction lately.
All morning yesterday I kept thinking it was Wednesday, and I was looking forward to Joemala. Then at 11:00 I remembered. But here we are today and all is well.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! You calm down!”
A mantra for our time.
I am calm.
Holy shit. I hate hiring people to do things.
My wife was getting antsy about having all the sinks hooked up, instead of relying on the one I had installed. (For various reasons the other vanities weren’t ready to be installed yet) so she convinced me to let her hire a plumber, going to be fun to see how much the quote balloons and how poorly the job is done, based on how much complaining has already occurred. Wait till he gets to the non standard pipe size for the vanity drains. Guy sounds completely uneducated regarding the electric.
an electric sink?
I hate hiring people to do what I could do not long ago. I did get all the big projects done last year, with the pros doing the work, Now it’s more routine maintenance but the local handyman is booked ahead.
I hate hiring people because I’m not Heinlein’s vision of what a person should be. My own lack of skills makes me angry. I’ve been getting better about it though and just doing stuff myself.
My wife is actually remarkably handy and neither of us really knows where she learned stuff. She just does it. She’s got a better attitude about it than I do though, which I’m trying to learn from.
Eh, while I like that Heinlein quote, comparative advantage is a thing.
I choose to interpret it as one should be capable of doing those things, should you put your mind to it, not that you must know how to do them.
For sure. I learned when to tap out while working on my car. Usually when it starts to involve more tools than I have/can afford to buy.
I was watching a video about swapping out the condenser in my car and rapidly decided to pay someone – it’d take me days and purchasing a bunch of tools I’d be unlikely to need again (or at least renting a bunch of stuff, like the A/C charging stuff).
My time has value.
Agree 100% about your time being worth something, but FYI: many auto parts stores will borrow out specialty tools.
There’s a reason I stick with working with computers. That’s to get paid enough money to hire people to do the things that I could only do poorly, with much effort, and minor injuries.
In my experience I can do most work as well as the pros (though not everything, e.g. I happily hired someone to do my countertops). Wiring outlets, adding ceiling fans, hooking up sinks and faucets, those are all trivial…
My better attitude comes from finally understanding that every project, regardless of my relevant experience level, is going to require at least 2 trips to Home Depot and take all day.
That’s okay with me, I know of enjoy the work part. The trips, not so much, but I’m renovating this whole house, so when I go for one project, I usually get things for several projects at the same time.
I already have all the tools I needed to do this work.
Yes, a dish washer and a garbage disposal. Both are electric sinks.
Because I have an older home, I have found neither Home Depot nor (spits) Lowes has what I really need, and I am going to have to fabricate it. Which isn’t a big deal for me as I have all the tools, and am a Certified Mechanical Electrical Technician (woo hoo). But, with my disease, I do have issues getting things done in either a timely manner or I just run out of energy too quick. And that is why I hate hiring people, I know I can do a better job than them (except the mow and blow guy, that is fucking awesome!)
Must be a pretty old house. What sort of things have you fabricated?
LOWES > HOME DEPOT
Don’t you have a disposal in your vanity too?
… No?
Webdom must be doming the web….
Minor edit:
…you need to
spotstop eating them…““Is he ready?” Karine asked, breezing into the day room.”
She has not learned to ask through the door yet? She really is dense.
Thanks for an update on Joe, SF, I won’t have to watch the news.
Some of his problems aren’t funny to me though, too close to home.
Stop eating the gummies, Mr. 4×20!!
I was going to say pendulous balls given Fourscore’s undeniable masculinity.
Oh…
Biden: “When my predecessor got covid, he had to get helicoptered to Walter Reed Medical Center. He was severely ill… When I got Covid I worked from upstairs of the White House… The difference is vaccinations.”
Pretty sure Trump allegedly took the jab too, for some reason…even after contracting the illness…which is usually considered bad practice…
But look how tough Brandon is.
“Bring those kids in here! I’m ready to sniff them all!”
Was he severely ill, though? I thought it was due to an (over)abundance of caution?
Also, wouldn’t taking AF2 to Walter Reed be SOP for presidents?
Marine One and yes I am sure any president that said ‘you know what…I wanna dip on in to Walter Reed’ would be getting that mode of transportation
I don’t believe he had covid.
👆
Remember when Trump was in the hospital?
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/pizzas-continue-to-show-up-for-trump-supporters-outside-walter-reed-hospital-its-from-trump-theres-meat-on-it
Isn’t it pretty well established on both the left and right that earlier variants were more severe anyways? Even if you were vaccinated? I’m so tired of grade school playground fights in politics, left or right. The infantilization of our country continues unabated.
I personally want to go back to the days when men got into fisticuffs on the Senate floor.
I want politicians to be as nakedly clownish as possible. It pulls the wool from over people’s eyes as time goes on, and leaves you just with the true useful idiots who still believe more government is the way.
Fisticuffs would be better than the pathetic whining we’ve got now.
fiRsticuffs?
Those are ballgag-i-cuffs.
What a silly game the great uniter is playing, but lets play. Trump was at the beginning of ‘delta’, Biden has a basic head cold with BA.5. Really, that is the game. That is it.
Trump went to the hospital, so what. Biden is so insulated, who isn’t to say he wasn’t put in his incubation chamber in the WH where no one is allowed to ask questions.
Fucking stupid thing for Biden to try and fist pump.
He’s failed all the things it would be smart for him to fist-pump at.
There are so many variables at play that it’s stupid to say it’s the vaccine for any single case. Trump was heavier, it was a different strain, and yes, he was unvaccinated at the time. In a large population it is likely that the vaccination helped, at least against earlier strains amongst people of Trump’s and Biden’s age, but the whole “thank goodness I’m vaccinated or it would have been worse” is stupid and even anti-scientific.
It’s been an internet meme for a long time: “I have tested positive for COVID. Luckily I’m triple vaxxed and boosted!”
There are so many variables at play that it’s stupid to say it’s the vaccine for any single case.
This. Millions of people of Trump’s and Biden’s age had covid in 2020, before the vaccines. And many of them recovered from it just as easily as Biden. People of the same age, weight, health–and vaccination status–may react differently when they get infected. We don’t why but it happens. And not just with covid.
We don’t know why but it happens.
https://www.heat.gov/
🙄
/walks away from NIHHIS
“That’s the discipline.”
Certainly nothing left to cut
National Integrated Heat Impact [on] Life Information Support Technology
heh
Looks like they needed to repurpose their database and front-end portals from COVID to HEAT!
Was he severely ill, though? I thought it was due to an (over)abundance of caution?
Low oxygen! LIES! COVERUP!
Neat.
BREAKING: more than 100,000kg of plastic removed from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (GPGP).
Thank you to our determined offshore crew and supporters worldwide; together, we have now officially cleaned up 1/1000th of the GPGP.
Don’t worry, Asia just sent another 100,000 kgs into the ocean.
Just wait until they decide the patch has created a unique ecosystem which must be protected from UV rays breaking down the plastic!
It already is a unique ecosystem. They just haven’t realized it yet.
*recycles recovered plastic*
*recycling company promptly dumps plastic back in ocean*
Reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3-uyxQCKKk
I was expecting this.
You’d think you’d be able to see the GPGP on Google Earth.
From what I read they say we cannot see it because it’s mostly particulate and/or slightly underwater. Yet looking at that haul, nothing about that is particulate.
Thins kinda seems like when the police do their “drugs on the table” dog-and-pony show.
Good news MSM reports Brandon is now COVID negative!
I believe he is supposed to stay masked for 10 days, however. I’ll be curious how closely he follows this and how much his staff and MSM cover for him when he doesn’t.
I suspect a lot of whataboutism claims coming about.
Has he started blinking again yet?
Depends on how frequently a camera is pointed in his direction.
“At least when it was Giuliani, we had a finger to point at him to say: ‘He’s racist and this isn’t fair,’” she said. “But how do you do that when the mayor is a Black man?”
Maybe, call me crazy here, but maybe the issue was never racism at all, and people can in fact disagree on policies that disproportionately impact black folk, for better or worse, without it being racism?
Just what a racist would say.
He’s not part of your ‘community’, dear.
Eric Adams is a wealthy, connected, politically adept shot caller. You, on the other hand, are a slightly tarted-up model of the bums who stand next to highway interchanges with ‘Please Help’ signs.
You’re basically Eric Adams’ livestock. This is the part where the moo’ing gets too loud and he sends you to the slaughterhouse.
I guess the hive mind has decided that another round of “get back on the plantation” gaslighting is needed.
MSM reports Brandon is now COVID negative!
Bless his heart.
Hey Shpip – missed your early post. “Commodore” is another fun title we don’t use too frequently- it is still in the Navy for captains commanding multiple ships – ie. Destroyer squadrons (we still have them) but almost nothing else.
Also…when I finally retire, I may use LCDR on occasion but not as classic for vets in country cottages as Major (lucky Swiss) or Colonel.
Fun fact, Commodore comes from words meaning ‘Commander’. You could style yourself Lt. Commodore Fish.
There’s nothing fun about that fact or you.
You know neither fun nor facts.
Meow.
“How To Win Friends and Influence People,” by Brochettaward, Vol. 1.
Someone else wrote it first.
Well played.
How about just “commander”?
/Imagines LCDR_Fish singing “Brick House”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzOJaHHlIcQ
I am an LTC (O-5) … that would be Commander in your wet world, yes?
Yeah, maybe I’m just thinking about your old pics ;p
But LCDR calling himself commander isn’t something many folks do – the ones that do are generally insufferable. Different from using Sgt for E-5 to E-7 in the army – colloquially.
Commodore Elvis.
Elvis needs boats, Elvis needs boats, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis!
Elvis is in your mom!
We need to depoliticize the court by politicizing the court.
A group of House Democrats introduced a bill on Tuesday to enact term limits for Supreme Court justices, arguing that the move will “restore legitimacy and independence to the nation’s highest court.”
The legislation, titled the Supreme Court Tenure Establishment and Retirement Modernization Act, would authorize the president to nominate Supreme Court justices every two years — in the first and third years after a presidential election. The justices who have been on the court the longest will be moved to senior status first. …
In a statement Johnson said the bench “is increasingly facing a legitimacy crisis.”
“Five of the six conservative justices on the bench were appointed by presidents who lost the popular vote, and they are now racing to impose their out-of-touch agenda on the American people, who do not want it,” he said, referring to justices nominated by former Presidents Trump and George W. Bush.
“Term limits are a necessary step toward restoring balance to this radical, unrestrained majority on the court,” he added.
Irrelevant talking point is irrelevant.
Might want to look into the mirror on that one.
Can we limit senators to 3 terms too?
Seriously.
And all nine (and all others prior) passed advise and consent from the Senate. What is their point? Also, 2-years? Come to think of it, that might be a good thing to also impose upon themselves in the House.
Hank Johnson and Sheila Jackson Lee are on the list of sponsors. That should be enough stupid for this to not even make it out of committee.
Oh fuck, is Guam about to tip over again?
Funny how “legitimacy” rests solely on whether the decisions the Court makes align with the goals of the left.
This is in the form of a Constitutional amendment, right?
Seriously, do these people even understand the damn constitution, how it works and what it is for?
What do you think?
Former Gov. Cuomo staffer killed after being ordered out of Lyft
https://news4sanantonio.com/news/nation-world/former-gov-cuomo-staffer-killed-after-being-ordered-out-of-lyft-suv-in-dewey-beach-delaware-dewey-beach-kicked-out-of-lyft-andrew-cuomo-new-york-gaithersburg-maryland
Passengers get into some dispute with Lyft driver. Lyft driver makes folks get out of the car on the left side of the highway. Guy gets mowed down exiting from the right side. Lyft driver flees the scene.
Hard for me to be too supportive of the Lyft driver unless they were assaulting him/her. Take an exit and boot everybody out of the car.
In the driver’s defense, can you imagine how demanding, patronizing and condescending a Cuomo staffer would be to the help?
That crossed my mind too.
Rather interesting that given all the tracking and driver review that Lyft does they have no idea where the driver is.
This was Delaware, not Texas, and even if he deserved killin’ he didn’t deserve gettin’ runned over.
The staffer had information that would lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton.
Notice the byline.
GOP’s Meijer voted to impeach Trump. Now Democrats are targeting him.
Desperate to retain control of Congress in the face of stiff political head winds, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has become the latest party entity to aid a Trump-endorsed Republican in a contested primary
By David Weigel, Colby Itkowitz and Arjun Singh
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/07/27/meijer-trump-impeachment-democrats/
This is the same logic that had the Hillary campaign encouraging the media to put the spotlight on Trump during the GOP primaries. How did that work out for them?
ikr, There were probably Democrats who voted in the Republican primaries for Trump over Cruz because they thought since Hillary had the nomination wrapped up they would vote for Trump as he had no chance of winning. Like you said. This could really backfire on the Democrats.
Tie them to Trump, indict Trump on contrived horseshit, hope the stench follows them and try to turn the normies
Thank you for listing the authors so I know not to click.
Well said
Friends of Chopper Victim Say Private Helicopter Company Is Lying About His Death
https://www.thedailybeast.com/friends-of-chopper-victim-say-private-helicopter-company-is-lying-about-his-death?source=articles&via=rss
I’m going with – flight crew didn’t shut down the tail rotor and flight crew didn’t do anything other than open the door. No way was this guy talking on his phone given the noise of an active helicopter. After that I’m going that the idiot did indeed want a selfie next to the helicopter.
Play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
Tail rotors typically can’t shut down independently of the main rotor. If that main rotor is still spinning, so is the tail.
Idiots walk into tail rotors every year.
Yup. That’s why I want to be very sure where I’m walking when I’m on a runaway.
The thing I never knew about helicopter blades is what the sky facing side looked like until I worked an NYC multistory building with a view of a heliport.
Treat us like little children!
That said, chopper companies should know that people do stupid things.
My father landed in a field for a family reunion one time. A couple of hours later I had to chew out some second cousins for racing in go-karts in circles around a quarter million dollar aircraft like they were competing in a rally.
The helicopter charter is claiming they walked them to the terminal.
It’s Greece, who knows if that is true. I can see it being pretty lax, particularly for what are obviously very wealthy young Brits who are partying hard on daddy’s dime.
Yup. This is one where I feel like both parties are at fault.
I’m willing to bet there is a camera somewhere that will tell an interesting story.
I been on private aircraft a handful of times walking and crossing active runways is something that I don’t enjoy in the slightest. I’m assuming it gets better with experience, but according my pilot friend that’s also how you get complacent. Similar to any other dangerous activity I assume.
Since I spent 5 active years in Army aviation, I can be the 1st to say that it doesn’t take much sense to avoid the spinning thing over your head, or the vertical thing at the end.
Your father owns a helicopter?!
Son-of-a-shitlord confirmed!
Owned. Long since out of that “hobby.”
He did well for himself and us.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! You calm down!”
Calm Down!
*Urban lyrics maybe NSFW
Be prepared for all the late night infomercials from Dewey, Cheetum and Howe to members of our armed services with hearing loss.
3M is creating a $1 billion trust for service members who say its earplugs didn’t protect them from hearing loss
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/corporations/3m-creating-1-billion-trust-service-members-say-earplugs-didnt-protect-rcna40032
I’ve no idea what liability shielding 3M will get from military versus if this happened in civilian usage.
More evidence of Putin’s price hike.
Where’s my shocked face.
I heard that on the radio this AM.
I can tell you that now that I’m back at the office my cheap lunch places are much less cheap.
At least we know who to blame.
closing the country down for the better part of two years has consequences. Who would have thunk it.
That and pumping funny money into the economy every conceivable way.
Thank you. I was trying to come up with a succinct way of saying just that.