Saturday Morning Academic Links

by | Jul 16, 2022 | Daily Links | 267 comments

I was reminded this week that I’m living in Oberlin East. Here is a news story– not from this town, but one in the next county. Absolutely no connection to our town or any of the colleges and universities here. From what little has been released, there’s nothing here looking even vaguely like an actual crime. And even if it turns out there’s some minor crime not being talked about (on the order of spray paint), there’s no question that no one has been hurt or was in any actual danger. No violence and as far as can be seen from police statements, no property damage. Just pamphlets with doubleplusungood CrimeThink.

But of course, the University had to swing into action, because we can’t allow an opportunity to practice moral preening to pass us by, can we, Comrade? A letter immediately went out from the University president to all faculty and staff:

You likely have heard of the recent reprehensible incident in Hornell involving three white supremacists. Below please find a note sent yesterday by… our new vice president for Student Experience to our students about the incident.

Let us all use this opportunity to be there for each other and our broader community and to remember the commitment we share here… to inclusivity and education.  While others may seek to promote darkness it is our responsibility to illuminate hearts and minds.

And to the students:

It brings me sadness that my first student correspondence as the new Vice President for Student Experience is to share resources given an incident in Hornell where three individuals have been charged with felony aggravated harassment, accused of leaving pamphlets promoting white supremacy that included swastikas and racial epithets at several locations.  This heinous act hits close to home after just departing Buffalo, NY where 10 people, some beloved members of my former community, were senselessly murdered just because of the color of their skin.

Like Buffalo, I know that [our] community… stands in support of those groups targeted in the Hornell incident.  We cannot become numb or indifferent to these types of events and cannot allow ourselves to be quiet observers.  As members of the Alfred community, it’s our responsibility to denounce such acts of hate, racism, and intolerance.  Hate, racism, and intolerance have no place here, in our local communities, or in the world.  I applaud those that reported the preposterous acts of those arrested and the quick response from law enforcement to investigate the matter and make arrests.  I encourage each of you to be empowered individuals who contribute to a healthy diverse democracy.  We are stronger when we work together to eradicate the world of hate.

Please see below the resources available to our students should they be needed:

[list of contact information for counseling]

Because three people unconnected with the university left some pamphlets in the next county.

But it’s unfair to characterize these educrats as enablers of snowflake neuroticism.

Fuck it, birthdays today include the guy who inspired the character Biggus Dickus; a woman renowned for using natural selection to cull the herd; a woman whose name keeps coming up in NYT crossword puzzles; a guy who eventually made a wrong turn and didn’t ask directions; a guy who inspired a hilariously awful movie; the spiritual father of Louis Farrakhan; the hottest Jewess ever, with a trophy to prove it; an extremely fun SciFi writer; someone who proved that not all cops are bad; and a guy second only to Adam Sandler as a sure-fire sign that a movie will be awful.

Let’s get to the point, shall we?

 

And then he ordered the bombing of another wedding.

 

She had information that would lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton.

 

OK, fess up, which of you is this?

 

Offering consumers an inexpensive and reliable alternative is unacceptable.

 

She is reliably delightful and entertaining.

 

The spin is even funnier than the fuckup.

 

Today’s Old Guy Music is a fun little song from what I think is Miles’s best album. Yes, better than Kind of Blue.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

267 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Good god, y’all.

  2. juris imprudent

    our new vice president for Student Experience

    Those tuition dollars at work.

    • Old Man With Candy

      “Why is college so damn expensive?”

      • Sean

        Putin.

    • Spartacus

      I had a good friend who was on the Alfred faculty for several years. She would have said the ingrained casual misogyny is a much bigger problem than a few naughty posters in the next town.

      • Gender Traitor

        ingrained casual misogyny

        “I can’t define it, but I know it when I hear it. And I always hear it.”

      • Trigger Hippie

        ingrained casual misogyny is our schtick, damnit.

      • Tulip

        There’s a reason I avoided academia. It’s based on medieval hierarchy and is, without question, the most misogynistic place I have ever worked. And I’ve worked on construction sites.

      • hayeksplosives

        You ain’t kidding.

        I avoided academia for that very reason. But what I didn’t understand until too late was that the national Dept of Energy labs (Lawrence Livermore, los Alamos, Sandia) are dominated by academia types with their ivory tower snobbery and detachment from reality.

        The fact that I have “only” a master’s degree and not a PhD is clearly a defect in these fuckers’ minds, even though I have 20+ years of practical experience and pull their fat out of the fire routinely, is the only crime worse than being a woman.

        I worked in defense for 20 years and never experienced misogyny or prejudice. But this academia-run FOE shit is a whole new thing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        👆👆👆

        My first impression of the professors in university was that they were almost universally assholes to some extent or another. It was why I switched from physics to engineering so I could transition to industry more easily.

  3. Sean

    “Man claims his girlfriend died after smoking meth so he cut her legs off with a chainsaw and stuffed her body in garbage bags, police say”

    But, why?

    • Tres Cool

      Duh, She not going to fit in the trash bag with the legs attached.
      What you? New?

    • Chafed

      Because meth, that’s why.

  4. Gender Traitor

    Some of those prints in the image up top make me wonder if they’re the latest offerings from LuLaRoe. ::lights Tres signal::

    • Tres Cool

      My bunk. I’ll be in it.

      • Gender Traitor

        There’s nothing like neon harlequin-print leggings on a really huge ass, amirite?

      • Chafed

        Lol

      • Tulip

        It’s like you know me.

    • Tonio

      Their mission statement – incoherent blathering.

      • Gender Traitor

        But did you get a winner on your Buzzword Bingo card?

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      That LuLaRoe documentary was good. I’m slightly shocked they’re still in business

      • Gender Traitor

        Where did you see the doc?

      • Chafed

        Same place Tres did, Pornhub.

  5. Count Potato

    “The three were arrested after Hornell Police, the FBI and New York State Police investigated reports of the pamphlets containing images of swastikas and racial slurs being left at local churches, as well as other public and private properties. A search warrant at a home on River Street reportedly uncovered evidence “which depicted the crimes of Aggravated Harassment.”

    All three were charged with 115 counts of 1st-degree Aggravated Harassment. They were taken to CAP Court for arraignment.”

    No idea why that should be a felony. If no one would be arrested for BLM pamphlets, then it shouldn’t be a crime.

    • Old Man With Candy

      They very carefully left out any information on anything that goes beyond simple 1A exercise. Which makes my cynical side wonder if there is anything.

      • Gender Traitor

        Something something “doesn’t protect ‘hate speech!'”

      • rhywun

        I noticed the news article doesn’t even mention “felony” – I wonder where the university president is getting xer information.

      • Chafed

        The Ministry of Truth?

    • SDF-7

      Yeah — if I were on that jury, the first amendment would keep leaping to mind. Having a crappy opinion and advertising that isn’t supposed to be illegal — unless the pamphlets were specific “We’re going to find you and kill you” type threats, I don’t get how this is harassment (other than by the community on these idiots).

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No way I’d convict. Jury nullification for the win absent specific and credible threats.

      • Gender Traitor

        “But hearing about it made me sad and scared, ergo harassment!”/’flake student

    • MikeS

      I look forward to what their ACLU lawyer has to say about it.

      What? Why are you all laughing?

    • Night Watchman

      Here is the text of the relevant law:

      § 240.31 Aggravated harassment in the first degree.

      A person is guilty of aggravated harassment in the first degree when
      with intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm another person, because
      of a belief or perception regarding such person’s race, color, national
      origin, ancestry, gender, gender identity or expression, religion,
      religious practice, age, disability or sexual orientation, regardless of
      whether the belief or perception is correct, he or she:

      [snip]

      3. Etches, paints, draws upon or otherwise places a swastika, commonly
      exhibited as the emblem of Nazi Germany, on any building or other real
      property, public or private, owned by any person, firm or corporation or
      any public agency or instrumentality, without express permission of the
      owner or operator of such building or real property;

      [snip]

      Aggravated harassment in the first degree is a class E felony.

    • Grumbletarian

      He probably has to snip a few things to save space.

      • SDF-7

        It was a close shave, but I expect it just came too later after OMWC had to lock the links down.

      • Surly Knott

        Nah, the vacuum in his head pulled most of the hair in, follicles and all.

    • Fourscore

      Summertime in Canada

      Trudeau ponders why no one takes him seriously.

      /looks in the mirror

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      How is he not Castro’s son? He’s gotta be

  6. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Biden confronts Saudi crown prince over Khashoggi murder”
    Yeah, we threw away our moral high ground on this kind of thing decades ago (if we ever really had it). Hell, he greased a whole family on the way out of Astan and then flat out lied about it.

  7. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’
    whats goody yo

  8. Count Potato

    “and a guy second only to Adam Sandler as a sure-fire sign that a movie will be awful”

    Talladega Nights was hilarious.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I don’t know if I’ve ever had that much drug intake.

    • Grumbletarian

      Will Ferrell has never made me laugh. Not once. And I’ve been forced to watch several of his movies.

      • SDF-7

        I can think of more Adam Sandler movies that amused me than Will Ferrel ones.

      • Sean

        Low bar.

      • EvilSheldon

        Airheads made up for a lot.

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        Steve Buscemi.

        ‘Nuff said.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Some of his SNL stuff was OK, his movies not so much.

      • Grumbletarian

        The ‘more cowbell’ skit was hilarious, but not because of Ferrell.

      • rhywun

        There was one with him in a hot tub and his “chest HAIRS” that was funny AF. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I guess, but in general there were less memorable performers than him during his days on that show.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I like him in this one but they kept his spotlight brief, it’s mostly funny due to Norm:
        https://youtu.be/qNzNeGw8Fmo

      • LCDR_Fish

        Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek.

      • Aloysious

        Stranger Than Fiction.

        The only Will Ferrell movie I’ve ever laughed at. That being said, I still can’t believe that movie managed to be made.

    • SDF-7

      To each his own. I kept hearing that, picked it up — and had to bail about 1/3rd of the way through. Just awful.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      The Landlord was fucking great

    • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

      Sasha Baron Cohen is cringe.

    • hayeksplosives

      I am fond of “wedding Singer”. A love letter to the 80s.

  9. rhywun

    snowflake neuroticism

    I wonder how the students deal with venturing outside of town a few miles – the Southern Tier, outside a few prog strongholds, might as well be northern Pennsyltucky.

    • Sean

      Northern Pennsyltuckey is quite nice.

      Ever been to the PA grand canyon?

      https://pacanyon.com

      • rhywun

        Neat – never heard of it.

        Mom’s family’s roots are in northern Pennsyltucky – Sayre/Athens. But never ventured further than that in my youth.

      • Tulip

        Hmm, maybe over Labor day.

  10. Sean

    Old school was great; the land of the lost – not so much.

    • juris imprudent

      Talladega Nights – if for nothing other than the out-takes.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, Old School is good.

      Sandler… SMDH. He is so heinous I refuse to watch anything with him in it.

      • Sean

        I didn’t hate the Hotel Transylvania movies.

      • Count Potato

        Uncut Gems is great.

    • Lord Humungus

      I thought Old School was uh boring… a chore to watch.

  11. juris imprudent

    OK, fess up, which of you is this?

    Who of us has not abused a corpse in a meth-addled haze?

    • SDF-7

      Just be careful when you take your laptop in for repair there, JI.

    • Fourscore

      I read that as “amused a corpse”…

      • Sean

        JI is Adam Sandler?

      • juris imprudent

        Oh, now there’s a buddy movie to be made – Adam Sandler and Joe Pesci.

  12. Sean

    Why are there no Hawaiian themed Klan robes? Seems like there should be some Boog overlap.

    • Gender Traitor

      Even Klansmen don’t want to be associated with it/them?

      • juris imprudent

        No, it’s because Klansmen never hang loose.

      • Gender Traitor

        It makes sense that they’d be “tighty whitey” guys.

      • juris imprudent

        Up tight, outta sight!

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        They aren’t tampons, they’re just douches.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    A group of House progressives led by Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and Mondaire Jones (D-N.Y.) called on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) to strip the Supreme Court of its abortion jurisdiction.

    “We write to urge your support for restricting the Supreme Court’s appellate jurisdiction in the areas of abortion, marriage equality, non-procreative intimacy, and contraception,” the lawmakers wrote in a letter to the congressional leaders.

    Understanding of the function of American government is not a job requirement.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      One branch of government isn’t allowed to strip authority from another coequal branch of government? Say it ain’t so.

    • Grumbletarian

      Progs: “Congress needs to pass a law forbidding SCOTUS from finding future laws about our political hobby horses unconstitutional.”

      Checks and balances were thought up by white male slaveholders, so it’s obviously a terrible idea. Besides, there’s no way the GOP would do such a thing if they ever got into power and had this as a precedent.

      • juris imprudent

        Progs: Why would the GOP ever gain power?

    • rhywun

      Man, they are comically desperate.

      • Chafed

        Let’s hope it stays comical.

      • hayeksplosives

        From your lips to God’s ears.

        Amen.

    • Grosspatzer

      “We write to urge your support for restricting the Supreme Court’s appellate jurisdiction in the areas of abortion, marriage equality, non-procreative intimacy, and contraception,” the lawmakers wrote in a letter to the congressional leaders.

      So, the state courts should have the final say? Setting aside for the moment their ignorance of how it works, I’m not sure that would be their desired outcome. Who knew that gang supported states’ rights?

    • Ownbestenemy

      There is a way to do that MFFAL..
      You just don’t have the votes in Congress or States to make it happen.

    • Grumbletarian

      GOP in 2025: “We’ve passed a law forbidding the Supreme Court from having jurisdiction over election laws. Also, it’s now illegal to vote for Democrats.”

      • The Last American Hero

        They could title it The Zelensky Act.

    • Lord Humungus

      EF laughed and laughed when I read her parts of AOC’s “reasoning”.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Why are there no Hawaiian themed Klan robes? Seems like there should be some Boog overlap.

    I was expecting a Brony.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “Why is college so damn expensive?”

    If it was free, nobody would go.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Kids these days

    A New York Times-Siena College poll this week found 94 percent of Democratic primary voters ages 18 to 29 saying the party should nominate someone other than Biden in 2024.

    Biden, 79, has never been the candidate for younger Democrats, though they did rally to help him win the White House in 2020 as the president endorsed key progressive policy initiatives to address climate change and other issues.

    Now the polls suggest they could abandon him altogether amid frustration with a lack of progress in Washington on everything from climate change to abortion rights.

    “A lot of the young people that I’m talking to in particular right now are asking what the point is of having a Democratic trifecta if our rights are still being ripped away,” said Ellen Sciales, communications director at the youth climate activist group the Sunrise Movement.

    “Like, what’s the point of voting? And obviously we’re pushing people to vote, but it’s going to make it so much harder for us to do our jobs,” she said.

    What’s the point of praying to Leviathan Almighty if your prayers go unanswered? Where is our cradle to grave nannytarian paradise? Why should we be expected to provide for ourselves? Why are people we don’t like allowed to walk free?

    • Grumbletarian

      nannytarian

      Nice, but I might use Nannycratic or Nannytopian instead.

    • rhywun

      Now the polls suggest they could abandon him altogether amid frustration with a lack of progress in Washington on everything from climate change to abortion rights.

      Oh, Dems, please do nominate someone even harder left. Inflation isn’t high enough and big business is counting on your abortions.

    • Count Potato

      This climate change shit needs to stop.

      • rhywun

        It won’t stop until the public demands it and we’re nowhere near there yet. The left will do a lot more damage first.

      • Chafed

        A summer of rolling blackouts will help.

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        This. Although I think we are getting close to that point.

      • hayeksplosives

        It saddens me to know that the United States has hit its peak, and it’s downhill from here.

      • R.J.

        So what year would be considered the peak? I started thinking about it and I am having a hard time deciding.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t think you can pick a year, but I’d probably look to the ’80s and ’90s. But that is questionable due to the rosy hindight of nostalgia.

      • Brawndo

        Serious question @Dean: 1880’s/1890’s or 1980’s/1990’s?

      • Ownbestenemy

        96-00 were pretty good

      • Count Potato

        After the internet and before 9/11?

      • hayeksplosives

        That’s a pretty good way to frame it.

        I was thinking 1989 to 9/11. The fall of the Berlin Wall was pivotal in human history, not because some concrete got demolished but because it was an admission that communism failed, even in the hands of very intelligent people. I’d say during the Carter years, much of the world still thought Communism would win out.

        (Book recommendation: The President, the Pope, and the Prime Minister)

        So the 90s were full of optimism after the savings and loan mess. The only war was Gulf 1, which was justified and brief and no Nation Building.

  17. Sean

    Daily Quordle 173
    7️⃣3️⃣
    6️⃣4️⃣
    quordle.com

    • Grosspatzer

      Oof.

      Daily Quordle 173
      5️⃣3️⃣
      7️⃣🟥
      quordle.com

      • SDF-7

        Heh… You think *you* messed it up?

        Daily Quordle 173
        8️⃣🟥
        🟥9️⃣

    • l0b0t

      Daily Quordle 173
      9️⃣7️⃣
      5️⃣3️⃣
      quordle.com

      #waffle176 0/5

      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
      🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
      🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
      🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

      🔥 streak: 2
      wafflegame.net

      • Sean

        #waffle176 3/5

        🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
        🟩⭐🟩⬜🟩
        🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩
        🟩⬜🟩⭐🟩
        🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

        🔥 streak: 7
        wafflegame.net

    • Grumbletarian

      Daily Quordle 173
      5️⃣3️⃣
      9️⃣🟥

      Chumpville, but at least not Chumptropolis

    • Mojeaux

      Daily Quordle 173
      7️⃣8️⃣
      5️⃣4️⃣

    • Tundra

      Daily Quordle 173
      6️⃣7️⃣
      5️⃣4️⃣

    • Grummun

      7 3
      5 X

      I saw all three options for BR, only had space to try two.

    • MikeS

      Razors edge

      8️⃣9️⃣
      6️⃣7️⃣

    • TARDis

      Daily Quordle 173
      6️⃣8️⃣
      3️⃣9️⃣

    • one true athena

      Daily Quordle 173
      7️⃣4️⃣
      5️⃣9️⃣

    • whiz

      Daily Quordle 173
      8️⃣5️⃣
      6️⃣4️⃣
      quordle.com

      Dammit. Decided to play it safe by going to 3rd seed word, then missed a 50/50 at the end.

    • The Hyperbole

      Daily Quordle 173
      4️⃣6️⃣
      3️⃣5️⃣

  18. straffinrun

    What I learned out drinking tonight? “The only thing sexy about you is your availability” is a fun pick up line.

    • Gender Traitor

      But most importantly, did it work?

      • straffinrun

        Fun part of being long term married is that I don’t want them to work.

      • Aloysious

        You mean you don’t use pick up lines on your wife?

      • DrOtto

        Is “make me a sammich” a pick up line?

      • Timeloose

        My pick up line for my wife is “look at all
        The work I just did”. But without saying it.

      • straffinrun

        You can say things with just your tongue.

  19. Ted S.

    For the crossword birthday, i was actually thinking Ida Lupino.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Don’t forget Ralph Bunche.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    “Young voters are overwhelmingly progressive. They want to see bold structural change on climate change, on the economy and looking at things like canceling student debt, raising the minimum wage and taxing the rich their fair share,” said Tzintzún Ramirez. “And young voters care about racial justice.”

    Call me crazy, but I think that’s delusional bullshit. Not every “young person” is a college communist.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Young voters have always been generally progressive or liberal or whatever it’s called these days but then they learn about the real world and grow up.

      • Gender Traitor

        “That’s why we have to lower the voting age to sixteen!”/Dems

      • Count Potato

        It should be raised to 36. If you can’t be President, you shouldn’t be able to pick one.

      • rhywun

        I like it.

    • juris imprudent

      Well every young person they know is a progressive, duh!

      • hayeksplosives

        I don’t know anyone who voted for Nixon!!

    • rhywun

      “‘I don’t know anyone who voted for Trump,’ he [she?] added.”

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        Pauline Kael also feels this way.

  21. Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

    I don’t know if Birth of the Cool is better than Kind of Blue; at that level of music, its kind of a push. But, right up there with the is Ascenseur pour l’échafaud:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc4tT-55ZzI

    • Mojeaux

      I liked that movie. Have the soundtrack.

    • Lord Humungus

      I dislike Miles Davis… dunno why; not enough melody in his horn playing? And more of an exercise in self-indulgent twaddling. But, to be fair, I am not a Bop guy by any stretch of the imagination.

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        Bob and Cool are my favorites re Jazz. But, I am starting to love the big sounds of stuff like Kansas city style.

  22. Grosspatzer

    Top-notch Old Man Music. Miles/Gil Evans was a match made in heaven. Porgy and Bess is my favorite, but BOTC is right up there.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Monopoly money

    President Joe Biden will announce $1 billion in aid to food security assistance in the Middle East and North Africa on Saturday at a summit attended by key leaders in the region on the last day of his Middle East swing, according to a senior administration official.

    The President will also announce that Gulf Arab leaders are pledging over $3 billion over the next two years in projects that align with global infrastructure and investment.

    ——-

    National security adviser Jake Sullivan told reporters on Friday that Biden will cover a wide range of issues in his meetings, “from security to economics, to regional integration, to cooperation on the big global challenges of our time, to human rights and forcefully advocating for America’s values and for the President’s personal priorities.”

    Just as long as they pledge their undying love for him.

    • Count Potato

      STOP GIVING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES

      • rhywun

        Right?! If all he’s going to do on his little foreign adventures is spray my money around, can we just lock him in the basement or something?

    • Grosspatzer

      Hey, someone has to look out for the hungry. North Africa and the Middle East are well-known food deserts.

    • juris imprudent

      Are we going to drop food on Yemen instead of bombs?

      • ScoobaSteve

        Why not both?

        Give a man some food and he eats for a day. Hide a bomb in his food and he’ll never need food again.

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        Dude, you get hit on the head with a falling, frozen leg o’ lamb, same effect.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Senior administration officials on Saturday defended the trip as an opportunity to raise concerns about the kingdom’s rights record with the Saudi crown prince. It would have been “backsliding if the president didn’t come to the region and it would be backsliding if he didn’t and wasn’t willing to sit and raise human rights concerns with foreign leaders around the world,” an official said.
    Biden came to Jeddah seeking solutions to one of his top political problems at home — sky-high gas prices — as diplomacy with Saudi Arabia in the Middle East was seen as one of the few routes he could take to bring down prices that are putting strain on millions of Americans.
    But White House officials say the President won’t be returning to Washington on Saturday with explicit oil production increases. The expectation is that there will be increases in the months ahead — done within the context of increased output levels in the OPEC+ cartel laid out at its August meeting.

    Joe crawls, hat in hand, to the House of Saud, begging for crumbs.

    The grownups are back in charge.

    • rhywun

      And I’m sure his fist-buddy will be more than happy to comply after listening to Joe lecture him about human rights. 🙄

      • Tres Cool

        The US is burning to the ground but he wants to talk to Arabs about human rights.
        Math checks out.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      We are so screwed

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Are we going to drop food on Yemen instead of bombs?

    Bacon cheeseburgers.

    • Tres Cool

      Why not just go with a lovely port tenderloin ?

      • Tres Cool

        /pork
        I swear, my keyboard is drunk already

      • juris imprudent

        I was going to say, are we opposed to starboard tenderloin?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Take a bow Sir!

      • Ownbestenemy

        He’s keeling it.

      • Count Potato

        Starboard Tenderloin is the name of my new mathcore project.

  26. Count Potato

    “Ricky Martin is accused of incest by his nephew who claimed they had a relationship for seven months and he ‘attacked him physically and psychologically’: Singer could face up to 50 years in prison

    Martin’s legal team told DailyMail.com the accuser is ‘struggling with deep mental health challenges’ and outright dismissed the ‘disgusting’ allegations.

    ‘Ricky Martin has, of course, never been – and would never be – involved in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with his nephew,’ lawyer Martin Singer said Friday.

    ‘The idea is not only untrue, it is disgusting. We all hope that this man gets the help he so urgently needs. But, most of all, we look forward to this awful case being dismissed as soon as a judge gets to look at the facts.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11019041/Ricky-Martin-accused-incest-nephew-claimed-sexual-relationship.html

    Does gay even count as incest? I thought it was to prevent inbred babies.

    • rhywun

      Does gay even count as incest?

      I would say no but it’s still skeezy.

      That article was way too long but I didn’t see anyone rebutting the contention that the “married father of four” had some sort of relationship with the nephew. Uggo.

    • whiz

      Apparently (re: Wikipedia), a number of countries do not have a prohibition against incest of any kind between 2 adults. AFAICT, many of them do not make a sex distinction, although Ireland specifically does.

  27. Count Potato

    “‘A salad is just a salad’ Irina Shayk speaks out after her post of potato salad led to accusations of the supermodel supporting Russia amid the country’s invasion of Ukraine

    Irina Shayk has finally spoken out and confronted social media users on her Instagram on Friday who have accused her of supporting Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

    The Russian supermodel, 36, shared a since-deleted photo on her Instagram story of a simple bowl of potato salad, but her caption sparked immediate controversy.

    She had typed out, ‘Russianzz on Wednesday.’ The letter Z has appeared as a symbol of support for the Russian military. Later on Friday, however, Irina assured there was no hidden meaning in the photo.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11019297/Irina-Shayk-speaks-post-led-accusations-supporting-Russia.html

    Whew, glad that’s been finally settled.

    • rhywun

      Ugh, I’m already struggling to omit the letter Z from my life, now I have to throw out all my potatoes too?! Oh well, for the cause.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh noes! I only just bought three pounds of my favorite potato salad yesterday! Worse, it’s RED potato salad! 😞

      • UnCivilServant

        I just Ignore the screeching idiots as much as I can get away with.

        Enjoy your potato salad.

      • Gender Traitor

        I will. I’ll even try not to feel guilty about all the carbs.

        It’s soooooo good!

      • Aloysious

        Red potatoes; any new potato really, doesn’t have the starch content that a russet potato contains within its delicious brown skin…

        …but I digress. Potatoes are good for you (in moderation of course). Like UCS said, enjoy.

        Now I want roasted white potatoes with lots of garlic.

      • Gender Traitor

        This is the stuff. Reminds me of a sour cream potato salad, but it isn’t. Discovered it at Sam’s, but they’ve only ever carried it seasonally, and lately not at all. Have to go to Not My Usual Grocery to get it, but it’s just the thing for weekends to go with whatever ends up on the grill.

      • Aloysious

        @ GT

        I buy that as well. I like to add veggies to it.

      • juris imprudent

        I may have to make up a batch of this. It’s patriotic and all.

      • Gender Traitor

        @Alo – never thought of adding veggies! Might have to try that – we keep some around for Cajun and for salsa.

        @JI – Sounds yummy indeed! Bookmarked FFR, though TT is not a fan of the bleu.

      • Gender Traitor

        @slummy – Also bookmarked! I’m a sucker for mint. Just hope I can find a source of fresh mint that isn’t hideously expensive. Used to almost grow wild in our back yard when I was a kid. My mom would pick a sprig to put in her glass of iced tea.

      • Gender Traitor

        P.S. Wonder how it would be with raw Sugar Snap peas still in their little pods…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey I got a Z in my name!

    • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

      If she needs to, uh, take one to atone for her misdeeds or w/e, then I am will gladly take one for the side of justice.

    • Brawndo

      I thought Z was the symbol of resistance? ie Z for Zelensky

  28. Tres Cool

    I keep hearing/reading this about the “constitutional right”: “President Joe Biden quoted the Supreme Court majority opinion on ending the constitutional right to abortion…”

    Is there an amendment I missed someplace?

    • Sean

      I checked my couch cushions. I couldn’t find it.

    • juris imprudent

      You’re going to need some help from Nick Cage and a candle to find it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lemon juice, hot blonde and a quirky sidekick are also necessary for the reveal

      • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

        See, that’s how Adam Sandler squeezes in!

    • hayeksplosives

      BUT MUH PENUMBRA!!!

  29. Grosspatzer

    Affordable housing in NYC.

    https://nypost.com/2022/07/16/hobo-builds-house-on-the-manhattan-bridge/

    The ramshackle shed was pieced together with plywood, 2-by-4s and cardboard – but lacks indoor plumbing. The homeowner has a green pail for that.

    He also has a lounge chair to take in the fabulous views. The front door, which he latches shut with a bike lock, is more akin to a crawl space than a threshold.

    Place like that goes for $5K/month in some neighborhoods. Great view!

    • rhywun

      “Someone could very well put the bike lock on that structure while the individual is inside and set it on fire.”

      What kind of sick mind comes up with that?!

      • Chafed

        The teenagers who beat the 73 year old man to death and recorded it.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      That dude rocks!

    • Zwak, who swallowed your pain, and is asking for more.

      Well, as long as the pail is Green, it’s OK and ESG compliant!

    • R.J.

      And the bitch quoted in the article just concern trolls. My favorite line:
      “A structure like that is not regulated, it’s put together on a whim and it’s dangerous,”
      Yes. We must get the building code inspector down there stat, Karen! That’ll make yiur neighborhood safe for vagrants!

      • R C Dean

        When you kneel down next to the ditch and they put a bullet in your head, its for your own good.

  30. Sean

    SYFY is running blocks of Warehouse 13.

    *Points to avatar*

  31. Count Potato

    “Elizabeth Warren has a bill that would shut down pregnancy resource centers that spread “disinformation” about abortion.

    I asked Warren & co-sponsor Mazie Hirono: What would constitute prohibited speech?

    Here’s what they said”

    https://nationalreview.com/2022/07/elizabeth-warren-escalates-her-war-on-pregnancy-resource-centers/

    https://twitter.com/McCormackJohn/status/1547988652910817292

    Paywalled, so there are only screenshots.

    Planned Parenthood doesn’t help women plan parenthood, so couldn’t that be considered misleading?

    • Timeloose

      I guess planning to not be pregnant anymore is a valid argument for PP’s name.

    • Brawndo

      I’ve always thought Planned Parenthood should have been called Unplanned Parenthood.

    • JasonAZ

      Honestly, I’m happy that Warren and Hirono are pushing this legislation. It’s more evidence that far left progressives are a death cult. The Dems are really putting it out there lately; whether it’s grooming children or promoting abortions up to 9 months of gestation.

      There is a reason why RvW overturned didn’t help the Dems in the polls. Their response has been nothing short of sadistic. Far too few of them have embarrassed reasonable restrictions that Americans favor and believe in. They’ve called GOP extremists, while showing that they are, in fact, the extremists.

      Don’t stop your political opponent from exposing the lunacy. Let the rage continue to flow.

  32. 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

    Someone, and I think I know who but can’t prove it, signed me up for state and national level polling phone calls.

    I’m not sure where in the US the phone reps are calling from, but man, smh if you think im gonna tell the truth to a pollster if “I have easy access to firearms” (damn right) or “I’ve had an abortion” (No, I’m a dude). As far as they know, I’m a 27 year old Assyrian with a Ph.D and I aim to keep it that way.

    • UnCivilServant

      “I am Hamzak Bal. Who is this other person you keep trying to call.”

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        The caller seemed taken aback that abortion wasn’t my number 1 priority in considering my US House Rep vote.

    • SDF-7

      Huh… DDs look a little different these days…

    • Rufus the Monocled

      You must have one gigantic wall.

  33. Rufus the Monocled

    I wonder what the girlfriend looked like.

    The meth story.

    Too soon?

    • rhywun

      To be fair, I was wondering what Ricky Martin’s nephew looks like.

      • R C Dean

        “Gotta admit – would. Can’t really blame him.”

  34. Rufus the Monocled

    Fact Check and Politifact still have legs?

    Does anyone take them seriously?

    • Urthona

      Especially Politifact. It has an embarrassingly bad history.

    • juris imprudent

      They’re almost The Bee without trying to be.

  35. straffinrun

    Are we a bunch of old white folk angry about change?

    • Ownbestenemy

      I’m not angry, you’re angry! Now get off my lawn!

      • straffinrun

        Could we be any more white? How you doin’?

      • MikeS

        You betcha!

    • slumbrew

      I don’t identify myself by my phenotypical traits.

      • straffinrun

        So, by your autism?

      • slumbrew

        I’m not really that autistic.

      • straffinrun

        That’s what they all say.

    • Mustang

      I don’t think we’re all old or white. The rest…yeah probably.

      • R C Dean

        As we do our transition to Office and Windows 365, I’ve actually got our support staff using one of my mottos:

        “New, therefore bad.”

  36. Rufus the Monocled

    Hm. chest trauma from a fall. I suppose. Depends on how she fell.

    Does she go under the Clinton Inc. body count?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I’m impressed with all the planning and money to pull that off.

    • Tundra

      Oh man, that’s gold!

  37. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    Racists are funny. I wonder who the fuck came up with the Klan’s look. Ridiculous.

    The spin is even funnier than the fuckup.

    They seem to not understand the nature of PR. This fact checking nonsense just kept the story in the news cycle longer.

    • straffinrun

      I like people that are only racist between the sheet.

    • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

      Tundra!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Double down, triple down, quadruple down…

      But never ever ever admit you were wrong.

      It’s remarkably similar to the miscalculation errors that start wars.

    • Brawndo

      Men are better at being women than women are. Holy fuck, I love being a man in this timeline.

    • The Last American Hero

      Good. I hope she wins every year and then passes the torch to another woman with a penis. We have to destroy women’s college sports to save it, otherwise this shit will never end.

  38. Count Potato

    “Female Inmates Launch Lawsuit After Guard Sold Access To Their Cells To Men, Allowed Them To Be Raped

    Twenty women have launched a lawsuit against the Clark County, Indiana Sheriff and multiple Correctional Officers at the Clark County Jail after one of those officers sold male inmates keys to the female cells for the purposes of allowing them to sexually abuse the women.

    According to a lawsuit filed on June 21, the incarcerated women were terrorized and assaulted when Correctional Officer Davie Lowe sold access to their section of the jail to two male inmates for $1,000. During a horrific ordeal which lasted “multiple hours,” the women were abused by several male inmates who had been allowed in by the two who had bought the keys.”

    https://reduxx.info/female-inmates-launch-lawsuit-after-guard-sold-access-to-their-cells-to-men-allowed-them-to-be-raped/

    • Count Potato

      “The filing then details that “after multiple hours, a female inmate hit the emergency button and began screaming to call for the correction officers,” resulting in the male inmates retreating back to their area of the prison.

      But the women’s ordeal didn’t end there, with correctional staff apparently penalizing the female inmates for having called them.

      The women were punished with a loss of “dark privileges,” meaning they were subjected to 72 continuous lights-on in order to prevent them from sleeping. Over the next several days following the incident, the women were placed on lockdown and subjected to questioning in holding cells. Many of the women’s personal possessions were also confiscated in organized “shakedowns.”

      Local reports also state that none of the male inmates have faced any charges, and no rape kits were administered on the abused women.”

      Why wouldn’t they hit the that button sooner?

      • R C Dean

        Because the male inmates threatened (credibly, I suspect) to kill them if they did?

      • Grummun

        Because they knew the screws were in on it from the start?

      • Tulip

        Waiting for a shift change?

      • Count Potato

        All good answers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No rape kits, but no mention of surveillance video which I assume was turned off or deleted.

      • R C Dean

        Prison rape of male inmates is widely regarded as somewhere between no big deal, humorous, or justified. And, yeah, I’ve seen it here.

        So why would prison rape of female inmates be any different?

      • Mustang

        Because it’s wrong either way and even more so that the fucked-up guards were selling access to caged prisoners who they’re ostensibly supposed to be keeping from harm (one of many duties). Just because it’s become a joke in male prisons doesn’t make it okay. Not only did they sell that access, they then punished and tortured the victims. I don’t see how any part of this can be labeled “no big deal, humorous, or justified.”

        The whole system is fucked. Doesn’t excuse any of this.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t see how any part of this can be labeled “no big deal, humorous, or justified.”

        Me, neither, regardless of the sex of the victim. I guess I wasn’t clear on that. My (failed) point was that this happened in an environment where rape is tolerated (or worse). The obvious and apparent official misconduct is a new layer of odious in this incident, true. But I’m not sure its different in kind than the tolerance by prisons for rape of male inmates.

      • Brawndo

        Always grinds my gears when people who should know better joke about male on male prison rape.

    • rhywun

      JFC.

    • Mustang

      *Insert Nicholas Cage “you don’t say!” meme*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was in the fucking trial data.

    • R C Dean

      Pretty sure this was raised and dismissed early on.

      That should be a macro for stories on COVID safety and efficacy.

      As more data becomes available on the vax, it will be a test for the Borg’s ability to suppress information. If they fail, and if its as bad as some of the data makes it look, I can see the kind of backlash with a body count.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        If the fertility data is correct and it persists, there will be civil violence.

      • R C Dean

        Only if people make the connection.

        Imagine (it’ll never happen, but bear with me) if the “my body my choice” reproductive rights zealots latch onto this, as they would if they were the least bit principled.

      • Gender Traitor

        Call me jaded, (“You’re jaded.” “Thank you.”) but I suspect that for at least some of them, “reproductive rights” only extends to the right NOT to procreate. And not the least bit principled.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    I am opposed to capital punishment state sanctioned revenge murder. But in cases like those jail guards, I could easily be moved to make an exception.

  40. Not an Economist

    Somebody is a camera hog.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Lol

    • Ownbestenemy

      Alright that was a good mood cleanser

    • westernsloper

      Thanks for that. That was awesome.

    • rhywun

      🎶 Limu Emu.. 🎶

      • Gender Traitor

        And Doug!

        Impromptu poll: Doug – hot or not?

      • rhywun

        Kinda hot.

      • Gender Traitor

        The mustache is the piece de resistance.

  41. westernsloper

    U.S. President Joe Biden said on Friday he told Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman he held him responsible for the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi,

    Ya, bullshit. He asked him how many fighter jets he wanted in his next order.

    • rhywun

      Not buying it either.

    • Brawndo

      What’s the conversion rate of dead Yemeni children to reduction in price for a barrel of oil?