The War of the Gargantuas

by | Jul 7, 2022 | Film, Fun | 126 comments

“In this scene, you pretend you are eating some people and your brother comes up and flips you into this building. Make it look good! We only have one prop!”

The War of the Gargantuas

Tonight is a classic from 1970’s broadcast television, The War of the Gargantuas.  The English dubbed version was commissioned at the time of the Japanese release, and the American version added some footage. It also tied it back to a previous movie, called Frankenstein Conquers the World. For this reason the American version, for once, is considered the cooler version to see.

And exactly what are we seeing tonight?  We have yin and yang monsters, one good and helpful, another bad and not at all helpful.  The action starts with the opening minutes and the monsters full on brawl at the hour mark.  Anyone laying bets on who is triumphant at the end? This is action packed from start to finish, unlike some other Toho offerings that went forever without any action. This movie also has great pro-wrestling moves in it, since you have two guys in man-shaped monster suits for once. Imagine what a pain it was to fight in that Godzilla suit, for example, in comparison to the high-mobility ghille suits  these guys playing the Frankensteins got.

Of all the Saturday afternoon monster films kids got to see in the 1970’s, I’d say this one ranks up there with Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster for freaking out kids.  Every kid at school (post viewing) would elaborate on how gruesome this movie was, each kid building on the gore mentioned by the last until it reached an impossibly bloody climax.  In reality the green Frankenstein was never actually SEEN eating people, even though he dragged a lady out of the building, held her up to his mouth, then after the cut away was chewing thoughtfully. And you do see the pile of abandoned clothes in the green monster’s nest, implying he liked his food nude.

One last thing:  This was made in the golden age of monster films by one of the great masters of the art, Ishirô Honda.  The cinematography is fantastic and I am glad we have such a clean copy.  So watch!  Or don’t!  Everything is voluntary! Next week, something newer from 2016:  Punch the Clock!

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About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

126 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    *hits play*

  2. Count Potato

    “Of all the Saturday afternoon monster films kids got to see in the 1970’s, I’d say this one ranks up there with Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster for freaking out kids. ”

    The singing hippies were great.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Godilla vs. Monster Zero
      Gamera
      Giant Robot

      • rhywun

        I remember some of these movies fondly but not by name or, well, plot.

      • R.J.

        There are so many. A lot of them are on Tubi now which is great. In the 90’s-early 2000’s it was hard to find copies of those.

  3. Count Potato

    “For this reason the American version, for once, is considered the cooler version to see.”

    Mine looks like the Japanese version.

    • R.J.

      They kept the original titles, etc and did a class job on the dubbing. That rarely happened when these became “Americanized.”
      BY AMERICANIZE MEAN…..

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    I watched like 20 times as a kid,
    Japanese Sleestaks!
    Hell yes!
    Thanks RJ!

    • R.J.

      I held off a month or two since Comet had it on. But Comet butchered it for commercials! I should have done a side by side and showed what was cut out.

      • rhywun

        butchered it for commercials

        Ugh, don’t get me started.

        I watch too much TV and it’s unbelievable how bad it has gotten. Some channels actually speed up their real content so they can squeeze more commercials in.

      • R.J.

        More JIMMY JJ WALKER! Putting MON-EE IN YOUR POCKET!!!

      • rhywun

        I CALLED TO CHECK MY ZIP CODE!

        GAAAHHHH HULK SMASH

      • Sean

        😒

    • R.J.

      The Toho Cinderalla Audition sounds fun.

  5. R.J.

    Another reminder to anyone lurking: Texas meetup towards the end of July. Details in the forum under meetups.

    • Urthona

      I’m confused

      • R.J.

        Yes! You! Look in the forums under Meetups. We have the amazing DEG coming through. All the details are there.

      • Urthona

        What is meetups? i don’t see that.

      • R.J.

        If you are in the forum, I will pass you a message

      • R.J.

        Message sent via the forum. Check your forum messages.

      • R.J.

        If there is confusion over the forum, go to the top of the page for Glibertarians and click on the link for forums. Use your existing password and ID to log in. I see you were there once before, but may have forgotten about the forum.

    • R.J.

      That’s great.

      • hayeksplosives

        It was particularly welcome because I had a shitty day at work.

        Perfect timing.

    • Sean

      I don’t want my car to be funny.

  6. Penguin

    Ooh, that singer is bad.

    • R.J.

      The singing ends abruptly. No worries.

      • Penguin

        I guess Frankenstein was a critic, too.

      • R.J.

        He drooped her so he must have though her singing was in “bad taste.”

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Game on.

  8. Drake

    This movie scared me when I was a kid. The green one eating people was a shocker.

      • straffinrun

        Lol.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The office manager of our Tokyo branch is in a Monkees or Beach Boys cover band. Can’t remember which one it is.

  9. Brochettaward

    Dubbing will be banned in the New World Order after The First.

    • R.J.

      Shouldn’t it be the First World Order?

    • rhywun

      Suddenly the New World Order seems a lot more appealing.

  10. straffinrun

    *accidentally snaps pic on phone*

    What the hell? Let me delete that. *looks closely* Second thought, thanks, phone.

    https://ibb.co/M95xnkB

    • Don escaped Texas

      she’s just gonna go home and rub one out while playing some first person cartoon pubescent yuru-kyara ninja vidgame

    • MikeS

      How do you say “smokeshow” in Japanese?

      • rhywun

        It’s too out-of-focus to tell plus who knows what’s under that mask.

      • MikeS

        Don’t ruin this for me.

      • rhywun

        I aim to displease.

      • MikeS

        UCS, I don’t know how you got rhywun’s login info, but you sign out right now.

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s the fun of having everyone’s passwords if I can’t use them?

      • straffinrun

        Good question.

    • Lackadaisical

      She looks like fun.

  11. pistoffnick

    If Tulip didn’t do well on today’s Quordle…

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Daily Quordle 164
      3️⃣4️⃣
      5️⃣7️⃣
      quordle.com
      I knew I forgot something

    • MikeS

      🌷

    • rhywun

      The bit about “government taking the land” was news to me – and for immigants?! No idea if that seems too just-so or if it’s real.

      • straffinrun

        Yeah. The govt does something egregious like that and then we hear people ascribing motives that are, let’s say “debatable”. Whatever the motive really is, fuck that govt.

    • MikeS

      How do you say “smokeshow” in Dutch?

      • rhywun

        I got nuthin’.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Apparently Vlaardingerbroek.

      • Not Adahn

        The Swedish Chef was actually speaking Dutch?

  12. one true athena

    Jesus, someone just tried to murder Former PM Abe in Japan. Shot him in the chest.

      • straffinrun

        Nice translation:

        A government official told NHK that “I have received reports from the field that I am not conscious and my condition is quite bad.”

      • Urthona

        may have been a homemade gun

      • Rat on a train

        need wood and pipe controls

    • straffinrun

      John Wirukusu Boosu?

      • rhywun

        ROR

      • Urthona

        I hate to laugh at this, but I am.

      • Gender Traitor

        Blavo!

        Or maybe Ree Harubi Ozuwodu?

    • The Last American Hero

      Where is W? The Japanese did try to take out his old man with the bad sushi back in 92.

      • Urthona

        I never understood the point of assassinating a former politician.

        Sure they are evil and we hate them, but what tangible gain do we get?

      • Lackadaisical

        Here is your (possible) answer:
        “Even after resigning as Japan’s Prime Minister in 2020, citing health reasons, Shinzo Abe has remained politically active.

        He has regularly appeared in the media to discuss current affairs; for instance, he told Japanese television in February that Japan should discuss a possible sharing of nuclear weapons similar to that of NATO members following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.”

        Japan probably doesn’t have the same norms around PMs as we do with Presidents. I know I was relieved when I stopped hearing about what Obama thought about this or that.

    • Sean

      He dead.

  13. Lackadaisical

    Crazy, I was just thinking you needed to do some Godzilla, RJ. I think this will scratch that itch. Thanks.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      ““From mental health concerns to learning delays, our students have been through a lot and what they need now is our support, not the anxiety and stress that comes with taking a new high-stakes assessment test,” the sponsors said in a joint statement.” (due to coronavirus)

      All self-inflicted. Also, students aren’t Faberge eggs, this is just a way to hide the damage that was done for the benefit of the political establishment and the public health indu$try.

    • rhywun

      Sure why not. Colleges will pick up the slack(ers).

      • Grosspatzer

        ^^^This. A HS diploma once meant something. A BS in victim studies is the new diploma.

    • Grosspatzer

      The company has not announced plans to refund customers.

      Outright theft if there are no refunds. I’m sure there are some weasel words in Sony’s customer agreement which cover this. Nobody reads those damn things.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A refund would be a good faith move though. It’s penny wise and pound foolish to piss off customers when viable alternatives to a platform exist.

    • Gender Traitor

      Just yesterday received in the mail my 50th Anniversary Blu-Ray of 1776, procured in case TCM is forced to purge it from its vaults for the musical’s brazen portrayal of inserrekshun.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I buy the stuff that might get purged too. I’d be bummed if I couldn’t give Blazing Saddles or The Three Amigos my annual watch.

  14. Tulip

    Daily Quordle 165
    5️⃣7️⃣
    4️⃣6️⃣
    quordle.com

    • The Hyperbole

      Daily Quordle 165
      9️⃣6️⃣
      4️⃣7️⃣

    • Grosspatzer

      Daily Quordle 165
      3️⃣5️⃣
      9️⃣6️⃣

    • Not Adahn

      Daily Quordle 165
      6️⃣4️⃣
      5️⃣7️⃣

    • Sean

      Daily Quordle 165
      5️⃣6️⃣
      4️⃣7️⃣
      quordle.com

  15. Stinky Wizzleteats

    RIP to Abe, I know next to nothing about Japanese politics but for a politician he seemed OK.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning to you, too, U. Didn’t see you there until I posted, then the page went down (at least for me) for a while.

      • UnCivilServant

        The site was down for a bit for me as well. I suspect maintenance.

  16. Gender Traitor

    Good morning, Stinky, Tulip, Sean, and Lack!

    The worst of month-end is over – I even finished writing up the minutes of last month’s Board meeting from the Zoom recording – and my co-workers and I got paid this morning. Speaking of co-workers, today’s first order of business is covering a few gotta-do’s for Reliable Co-Worker, who’s taking a couple of well-deserved days off. Good thing none of it (usually) requires all that much higher-level thinking, as I stayed up way too late last night. Predicted: GT will fall asleep on the sofa in front of Ancient Aliens after dinner.

    Hope all of you have a pleasant day that doesn’t require any more alertness than you can muster.

    • Fourscore

      Morning GT and all the above named early birds/lurkers.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, 4(20)! How’s the weather in your neck of the North Woods? The radar says there’s rain bearing down on me any minute now.

    • UnCivilServant

      I answered your email query from 1am. Unfortunately, I wasn’t helpful.

      • Gender Traitor

        I received it. Thank you, though! Just another one of technology’s little mysteries. Probably some Viking curse from the eponym of Bluetooth.

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    Howdy folks! Another Friday, another Covfefe,
    Whats shak,in?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      S pel in bad

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Guten Morgen

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Yu! Continue administering the covfefe. Stop if you start shak,in.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, ‘patzie! I usually eschew the devil weed, but I must confess I’m a sucker for the smell of pipe smoke. (And, I suppose, for the rather less fragrant aroma of my late maternal grandfather’s cheap R.G. Dun Admiral cigars, made – as the Rev. GT once described them – from the finest floor sweepings in Lima, Ohio.)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I smoke vanilla flavored cigars instead of cigarettes, people dont complain as much, and way cheaper than death sticks

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Plenty of covfefe, its Thursday for me, delivering parts for the man. Hows weather down there?

      • Gender Traitor

        Looks as if it rained overnight, and another round is fast approaching from the NW. How is it on the edge of the mitten?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Looks like Huntington beach, its weird, no rain yet

      • Gender Traitor

        As long as it doesn’t look like Times Beach.

  18. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates.

    • Gender Traitor

      ::thinks as much as caffeine-to-date will allow:: Would young, innocent children be preprobates?

      • Grosspatzer

        Not until they are in law school.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yes, I remember well, my 2 littles shits were just that,reprobates like dadoo

      • rhywun

        Only if they grow up to be lawyers.

  19. Tulip

    It feels so awful outside. Checks – temp 73, dewpoint 72. Yep, that explains it.

    • Gender Traitor

      Have you verified that you are not, in fact, underwater?

      • UnCivilServant

        Clearly she’s got at least one degree above the surface.

  20. Fourscore

    We’ve had a couple power failures this summer. One of my friends found a not unfamiliar smell from his garage freezer and discovered the GFI had tripped and he hadn’t noticed. Anyway he wanted to discard the potentially contaminated food and I agreed to help. I hauled it out in the woods and pitched it out, hung a game cam, hopefully set up right. He has another load next week. I’m curious as to how long before it’s discovered and by which kind of critters. I’m sure raccoons, skunks and foxes will be there quickly, maybe a bear or coyote. I’ve had pictures of a bobcat and a wolf in the same place, in the past. I’ll wait to check, replace the card next time I take some fresh (unfresh) product out.

    • Lackadaisical

      This is why you never put a GFCI on a line with a fridge…