A few years ago, I tried online dating. While I was doing it, I tried to keep a sense of humor, but it was not a fun experience, and I won’t do it again. I’m not going to talk about specific dates but will explain why I found it awful.
It was unsuccessful, unpleasant, and sometimes scary.
The initial messages I received mostly alternated between “Wanna Fud” or “Let’s get married.” When I didn’t respond to such charming overtures, they often resorted to “Answer Me Bitch!” Now, you may ask, why didn’t I immediately block men who sent those messages? Well, this was prior to the pandemic when I was going to the office five days a week. I didn’t check for online dating messages at work, but these men would send them during the workday. When I didn’t respond, within the workday, they would lose it (the record was 35 minutes). “All you bitches think you’re too good for guys like me” etc. Yikes! The level of entitlement and vitriol was actually frightening.
Then, of course, were the men that messaged me just to insult my looks. Now, that *only* happened three times, but when you are putting yourself out there on a dating site, it is pretty painful.
And when I actually found a man that didn’t think a proposal or proposition was an appropriate opening line, then I was generally asked (and in so many words) “you’ve never been married? What’s wrong with you?” Quite the question to a stranger. Gosh, I can’t understand why a guy like you has been divorced three times.
Even if you get beyond the above, they may be an asshole. I met one guy for coffee and he spent the time negging me. First, when he arrived, he informed me that I looked older than my picture (strike one), then he told me I was a total nerd – and not in a ‘I love nerds’ way (strike two), then he said I should exercise more (strike three). I said, “I’m done” and left. Before I was able to block him, he sent me texts telling me that I was incredibly rude.
But even if you get past the assholes, online dating is still awful. Think about how nervous and awkward you feel on a date with someone you met through some kind of activity. Even though it’s awkward, there’s still a little element of anticipation and it’s a little fun. You kinda like this person and it’s a chance to get to know them. In online dating, the element of anticipation is not the same. You have probably exchanged a few texts, maybe a phone call or two, and now you are meeting this person for the first time in order to evaluate whether or not they are worthy of a second date. It is nothing but awkward.
I don’t think my experience was especially awful compared to other women I have talked to. I didn’t get tons of dick pics. I also know women who had a better experience. But I won’t do this again. My life as a single woman is actually pretty good and online dating is so awful that I won’t do it again.
Sort of jives with what one of our kids who tried it told us. She came away disappointed, and is (the only one of our four who is) still single.
I was happily married to Mrs. Animal before online dating was a thing, and I’m pretty pleased with that.
My experience with online dating from circa 2006.
Max “relationship” lasted 4 dates, I was “dumped” via google chat.
Second longest was 2 phone calls and zero dates.
I am old and rather nerdy so I don’t have adventurous on line dating experiences. The wife does though, she once met a guy whom halfway through a drive to Dallas, declared he was Jesus Christ. He then demanded she pull over immediately, on the highway. He pulled the handbrake and the date was over.
My wife and I were discussing dating, social media, and hookup apps this weekend. We both were really happy that we met right before they were a thing.
I do know some men that like them for casual relationships.
What I liked was when you told me about all this, then denied you were trying to talk me out of even attempting on-line dating.
This sounds beyond dreadful.
I am assuming you wouldn’t be the ‘wanna the’ or ‘marry me’ guy. I suspect it is worse for women.
Neither of those, but I can’t think of what I *would* say.
One more reason to avoid it.
I can attest that I would rather meet a random stranger on an app than get set up by your aunt with a woman from the bingo parlor.
After my experience, I’ll take the aunt’s judgement
You have never met my crazy aunt.
I met my wife at a concert who came with a mutual friend. We automatically had two things in common.
None of the men I messaged ever responded. So, bumble is out for me. I can’t take level of rejection.
Congratulations, you got to spend a few minutes seeing the world guys live in all the time.
Saying hi to a woman who doesn’t find you attractive makes you a creep. And you have to go up to a lot of strangers to find out if they find you attractive.
When I was on the dating scene in my thirties, I encountered a ton of desperate women who went straight to marriage talk. One famously dragged me to meet the family on our third date… And demanded to know “where this is going” afterwards. This was 2 weeks after meeting for the first time.
I understand the desperation, regardless of gender. If you are built for a lifelong love, being single is horribly painful.
I was the “crazy guy” once. A friend introduced us, and we had a productive first weekend. I went out of town on business and when I came back she stood me up. Weird. Then the next week I went out of town and she kept calling me… So I arranged another date. She stood me up again. No excuse… Nothing.
So I sent an email asking for an explanation. Our mutual friend read it and said I sounded crazy.
The next week she started calling again. I declined. She finally came clean… She was having an affair with a married man and they kept calling it off and going back. So that is why she kept standing me up. Bullet dodged.
She did call back a month later and offer some obscene incentives to give her another chance. Unfortunately, I was looking for a life partner, not a sex toy. So that kinda counts as the guy version of getting dick pics.
GAY
Actually, the thing she was wanting me to do was….
Well, better not to finish that thought….
But it really is a true story, including the vulgar bits. She was way, way over in the wrong sector of the hot/crazy matrix. It is kinda worrisome that it took me a month or more to figure that out.
So…
FWIW I met my current girlfriend 7 years ago on Plenty of Fish, though we like to tell people that it was Blackpeoplemeet or Farmersonly. Neither of us sent the other any dick pics.
I tried it about 20 years ago. No attractive matches that I was curious to “meet”. Went back to the meat market. That was promising for a while until it wasn’t, and now I’m more or less happily single.
Problem 2 for me:
Imagine a guy who says he’s a vegetarian, PhD, works in a university, loves folk music and jazz, former musician, into cooking and wine, avid reader. Think of the women who would respond to that. Screams Prog.
Fucking hippie.
Oh yeah, and bearded.
I just clippered my head and what beard there was to the max for the first time in weeks and it’s glorious.
throw in some guns, and you might be OK
I hang out with a bunch of hippies. The music or farmer hippies are much more reasonable than the typical city or uni prog.
Awww. My Dad is Prog Bait.
Actually that could be an endless source of amusement, in a less cloistered environment.
Please sign him up for some dating apps. I really want to know who responds.
I cam here to say: I got nuthin.
I would think it’s more like – glad I got nuthin.
So still not as bad as Glibs?
(Sorry Tulip, that is is awful. I thank my stars when I read about dating these days that I’m already married)
Honestly, Glibs is better. And I frequently think about leaving Glibs.
I sometimes think of taking a break but I just can’t.
I let circumstances dictate my breaks, like this past weekend. It is refreshing.
Problem is I have nothing else going on.
Please don’t.
Don’t leave, just take breaks. As loooong as you need.
**looks around nervously **
It’s longer than you think.
One time in college I was on the phone with a guy I met on a BBS for eight hours. Total soul mates. And I hate talking on the phone.
Afterwards, once I intimated that I wanted to meet in person I never heard from him again.
He’s probably lurking here.
I know one or two of you have copped to have lived in Champaign/Urbana.
I found myself very lonely after getting divorced (way more than I expected). So I signed up for 3 different dating sites (Zoosk, OKCupid, and Match.com). I told myself I would pursue it hard for 6 months. It took about 4 weeks.
I initially passed over the gal I’m currently seeing. She’s not my type, she lives an hour and 20 minutes away, she has a kid still in high school, she’s 2 years older than I am, and she’s a big girl. But she gave me a shot*. Our first date was supposed to be just lunch – it lasted almost 11 hours! We can talk about anything. We cook amazing food together. We are traveling to S.P’s celebration of life and then on to the Rockland, Maine Lobster festival later this month. I am incredibly happy when I’m with her.
Before I quit the dating sites to focus on her, I was dating another lady and was texting 3 others. I have to say that the dating sites worked well for me.
*Apparently, I am the first one who didn’t send a dick pic,….so I sent her a dick pick:
https://i.etsystatic.com/5658809/r/il/450c17/2207365221/il_794xN.2207365221_mbfh.jpg
It’s weird. After my last longish (for me) relationship ended, I was not at all lonely.
I have this thing where I seem to be happy to experience each new thing one time, and then I’m good. Apparently that includes relationships.
I suspect the dating sites work for a certain kind of individual that is not me. I couldn’t get into it. I had much more success meeting randos at bars.
I like to drink (hiccup!), but I’m not into bars.
When the cute Jamaican (and single!) checkout lady at Aldi asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I tell her, “I was unable to find true love in the vegetable aisle. Can I speak to the manager? (she IS the manager).
Bring your friend to HH, if that doesn’t scare her away you have a real gem.
Working on it. She has family in Remer (Ream her?!?!, I hardly even know her!)
Also working on getting you out fishing.
I’m glad that worked for you, but barf. Would not work on me. And maybe that’s my loss.
It hasn’t work for me, but gott damn is she beautiful. I would braid her beautiful hair, and cook scrumptious meals for her, and clean her house for her, and put her illegitimate children through college. Alas she don’t want no white boy who can’t dance.
/he can dance, but awkwardly.
The line isn’t the important part. It is whether the chemistry was there from the jump.
I have seen it up close from a third person perspective as a wingman. When I was single I had a couple of girl friends who would go out as a group. If they spotted a guy, I would make an introduction and then bow out if they gave me the signal.
I saw many a great line get “eeew, he was gross” as a response, and plenty of terrible, cheesy or offensive lines recieved with gails of giggles.
I even had guys who they sent me to go get fail with really fun openers, only to recieved a cold shoulder. “Is that the best you’ve got?”, She asked.
“What was that all about?”, I asked after she chased him away. “Ugh… Too pretty. Up close, he was too good looking. He just was too much work”.
Amy, you are crazy.
Yup, agree completely. I have rarely been a wingman- but I have had a friend literally ask every woman on the way out of the bar at closing time if they wanted to go home with me. Several seriously considered it, until I told them I wasn’t interested. Crazy.
Seems like one need only make an attempt, and it hardly matters how that happens, at least on that scale of interaction.
I’ll add another, less weird one. I am a very quiet person and barely spoke to my wife to be during our first two dates (luckily she is a talker… XD) I don’t know why she kept going out with me, normally, that would be a very bad date. Clearly, the chemistry was there.
I understand. I’m not lonely for my last relationship at all.
Clever
I was wondering if that was your unsolicited dick pick. I have a musician friend you does a plastic version.
JFC, I am not drunk but that is a helluva typo… s/b who, not you.
was expecting
Part of me wants to say you’re making this up right? I could not imagine acting like that.
I’m sorry that it’s true.
I have told my wife many times “don’t leave me” because I don’t know if I could handle dating anyone, especially with stories like this.
I wish.
She giggles beautifully.
And honestly, the ‘wanna fud’ was easier to deal with than the ‘you’re fat and ugly’ texts.
I mean, rule 34, someone out there finds me attractive.
I’m not sure if they still do it, but I met my wife in 2007 via Speed-dating.
I’ve seen that in movies, but didn’t know it was a real thing.
It’s very much like premature ejaculation.
Yep, like in The 40-year-old Virgin movie. It was like 8 women sitting at tables in a side room at a hotel bar. The 8 guys would rotate from table to table. I spent 6 minutes with each of the women. My wife was the second to last one. Then later on, you could indicate your interest via a website. If both parties said they were interested, then you could communicate with each other.
I’ve done that, and had dece
Not exchanging contact info until later and not having to indicate your level of interest in person sounds like a safer experience.
On a little side street around the corner from my house, the township installed a speed bump, but the street sign warning you of it says “SPEED HUMP.” That always sounds to me like the next step after speed dating.
In the last posting Ownbestenemy criticized Biden for saying we believed there was only one galaxy. I’m sorry to say Biden was mostly right. The Curtis-Shapely Great Debate was about whether those nebula the the Andromeda Nebula, were nebulas or galaxies in their own right. The debate wasn’t settled public until data collect by Edwin Hubble reached the NY Times in 1924. Hubble’s actual paper on the subject wasn’t published until 1929.
My sister met her husband of 10 years on match.com 2 days after listing her profile.
I wonder if it was better just a scant 10 years ago? The level of hostility in general seems to have skyrocketed recently, and a lot of people feel emboldened by the anonymity of the internet.
Or maybe she was just lucky (I did steer her away from the first 2 guys who reached out to her. I picked her now-husband and said THIS is the guy you want to meet!
I drunkenly signed up on 3 online services 5 years ago and got matched to my wife after two days. Went on one date and cancelled my memberships. Expecting our second daughter in 3 weeks and have managed to laugh every day about something. Not all sites are created equal in my opinion. Match does more than let you see if someone is attractive to you. They ask pretty good questions to get a sense of your values and priorities and finds matches closest to you. I found lots of attractive women at work, clubs, the gym, etc., but only to find out there were deal breakers later on, which only makes the breakup more difficult. So I just stopped looking….well until that drunken night. Funny thing is that she lived half a mile away from me and we frequented many of the same venues, but we never met and may never had met were it not for Match. Anyway, sometimes it works, I guess, depending on what you are looking for.
COMMENT
I’ve done that and had decent dates.
I had a cool experience once doing “speed interviewing” at a military veteran outreach event.
I was one of several representatives of corporations looking to hire, and I’d sit at a table with 3-4 vets, give them a quick spiel about the company, and answer questions.
Then the event host would ring the bell, and all the applicants got up and went to a different table to meet a different company rep.
I would do that again if given the opportunity.
Online dating is exactly like online poker or online sales. You have to just grind numbers on a low percent win/conversion rate. And that’s certainly not for everyone, any more than poker or sales. Blame smart phones. They ruined the fucking web.
I’d like to meet someone who also likes me, but online has soured w.
Meeting potential dating material should be done via church, work, or at a bar as God intended. Everything else is just weird; no judgement though.
Met my wife on a night out.
Walking past her and I said “Hi”.
For some reason she stopped walking and said “Hi” back and we ended up hanging out the rest of the night.
Luckiest night of 19yo me’s life.
Aww. That’s sweet.
I do believe sometimes the Great Maker intervenes a little and points people out to each other.
One of my high school besties never dated in school; very strict Catholic upbringing. But one day after college, she was flying from Seattle to Atlanta for a conference, and was seated on the plane next to a guy who lived in Atlanta. They hit it off, and they ended up getting together for dinner every night of that week.
They got married not long after and now they have 3 lovely children.
いらっしゃいませ！
Mrs JI and I met through pre-dating app personals ad. Given how stupid people are on social media in general, the brutality of online dating doesn’t seem all that surprising.
The wife and I often exchange the comment that we are both glad to be out of the dating scene. If she were to suddenly pass on then I would gladly invoke the “one life, one wife” rule and be happily single from now on.
We met at 14 (she was the daughter of Dad’s best friend in high school), started dating at 16 and married at 18. Thick and thin, for better of worse, we fit each other like a pair of socks.
That’s sweet
50 years Aug 5th.
Details in the forum 😉
I was always a very shy person but I did like the ladies. The difficulty was in meeting them and trying to convince them that my actions were honorable. As I have mentioned before I learned to dance when a lot of other young guys were reluctant to try. I was able to use that as an ice breaker and didn’t have to talk much on the dance floor.
Today’s world is far too different, I wouldn’t know where to start. Maybe Reloaders.com has a dating service, other than that I’d be a cranky old man. Although the widow market remains available for duffers than can still drive.
I got an email today from a 50+ singles site.
WTH?
I am 50, but definitely not looking for a dating site.
Sounds like dangerous malware masquerading as a dating service. Or someone out to steal your kidneys.
Now it sounds interesting.
Your phone might have overheard a discussion.
My husband and I were talking about toenails for a minute 2 days ago in the context of why some people paint their toenails, and now my Facebook page is flooded with toenail products (antifungals, etc).
I hate surveillance.
Ding ding ding!
That is really creepy.
I hate that. I need to delete Facebook again.
Speaking of emails I haven’t heard from a Nigerian prince in years. The Viagra sales guy must be too busy with other customers, he dropped me many years ago too. I get the normal advertisements from companies that I may have shopped before but not a lot of real spam.
Fourscore, we’ve been trying to reach you about your truck’s warranty…
I think they are hanging out with the guy who has all my passwords but will keep them secret if I pay his bitcoin ransom.
I met my 2nd wife in 2002 through eHarmony.
98 % bliss.
Was just going to mention eHarmony.
I remember their schtick was kind of preachy – they refused to match the gays, for example.
Saw a commercial yesterday for them and it was gay, gay, gay.
Guess they sold out.
I thought they were litigated into selling out.
Their argument was their algorithm wasn’t designed to match gay people.
My guess is that ran afoul of both the public and private wrongthink police and they decided may as well embrace the boot on their neck.
I HATED eHarmony.
Out of more than 1000 attempts, I got one date. And it went nowhere. And the fact that eHarmony provided stats so you could tell quantitatively how uninteresting you were just made things all the worse.
Several years before my (now ex) husband had an affair he had a Tinder profile, which I discovered through a badly timed push notification he received when he showed me something on his phone. This last year he said something that activated my spidey sense, so I created a few profiles under a pseudonym.
I didn’t find any accounts for my ex, but I did see several profiles from men I know. Each and every one of them lied and lied and lied. They lied to the point I took screenshots so I could tease them about it later.
That experience taught me I couldn’t do online dating because I’d never believe anything I read on the profiles.
My ex wife created a profile on eHarmony just so she could messenger her lover. She wasn’t that bright and a keylogger gave me all the access I needed
Keyloggers were how I caught my ex-wife.
Trust is earned.
I never felt so shitty but happy to know
Yes, about the shitty feeling, and, yes about the “better to know now” part.
/her “sole mate” can now be her’s
Ah, a foot fetishist.
There are some questions that you really don’t need to ask. Or rather, if you ask, there is only one answer.
I have faced this with my ex. Deep down, I knew. But I gave her a chance to get it together before really knew for sure. I have told the story before… How she was broken by the loss of a baby and several miscarriages… But there was a moment where I had to decide if I wanted to be married or not. If I demanded answers, it was going to be over, either way. So I didn’t call her out. I didn’t check the phone, the reciepts or the friends.
And not so long after, it was indeed over. One of the things that still hurts to think about is all of the bending over backwards to no avail.
One of Leonard Cohen’s works of genius:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELGaHaZzwjU
My problem with online dating was probably that I was 100% honest.
Yeah, let me put the app on my phone.
I met the future Mrs Fourscore at the Army Language School, she was an instructor, I was a student but not in her class. At break time in the hall way I wanted to practice my language skills and she was always very patient. After a few weeks it was apparent I needed more tutoring, on a personal level.
My problem is my need for independence conflicts with my desire for a relationship.
Yep. I prefer to be alone and do whatever I want most days. The trade off for dealing with someone else’s presence, time, family and drama for sex and companionship grows less appealing by the year.
That was a struggle for the wife and I for a long time. Now, we make sure to give each other space, like on Sat mornings I get out of the house for the day before she gets up, and I take a road trip for at least a week every year. It took a while, but we found a rhythm that works.
She gets back from alone/quiet time tomorrow.
You are doing Saturday mornings all wrong. All wrong.
That’s what Sundays are for.
Choir.
Local market had some beautiful Manzano peppers. Time to make some salsa
What about deals like “It’s Only Lunch?” Don’t they screen applicants so you don’t get a bunch of people sending dicpics? As I recall, being active in political organizations was a good way to meet potential partners. For all you younger Glibs, there appears to be a ton of young, hawt chicks inhabiting Young Americans for Freedom and Students for Liberty (at least if you go by the photos in the annual reports and magazines.) Back in my Tea Party days, there were two or three women I would have been interested in if I hadn’t been happily married.
The name is “It’s Just Lunch.”
I’ve never heard anyone’s personal testimony for or against but it does seem safer and likely a better dating pool.
It’s expensive.
The ads pretty much imply that only the wealthy are welcomed.
Around here there are still professional matchmakers.
I am sooooooo glad I am not dating in any way, shape, or form.
And I have never tried online dating, and I never would have. Like you, I would rather be single than that BS. Not being a particularly “online” person, I cannot see the appeal. But, I have had friends who have done this, some successfully, some not. Some guys get treated as a meal ticket, some guys seem to use it as an online sex on call forum. I dunno, I would rather talk to a woman that I actually meet doing something, whether it is at the dentists office, a bar, whatever, I need that real connection.
Oh, two thoughts. When I met my wife (second wife) it was in a bar, it wasn’t until we started talking about Bowie and how we both like Tin Machine that anything clicked. But, she was online dating at the same time, and was really enjoying it. So, you never know.
Second thought, a good friend of mine did one of the hookup apps after his divorce. And apparently when guys do this in their 40s, all the women immediately move into relationship mode, at least according to him. So, one more data point, I guess.
Wow. Tin Machine isn’t a name I’ve heard in decades.
Enjoy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJpi5EN8-1Y
What a great band. Rock n roll for adults. They would have lasted a lot longer if Hunt Sales could have stayed sober.
I tried Match.com for a few months about, oh, eight years ago or so. Went on a couple of dates with a few women but no sparks ever flew. Not necessarily bad experiences but ultimately fruitless.
Nowadays whenever an attractive woman flirts with me for some strange reason I immediately shy away thinking to myself “Darling, you could do a helluva lot better. Let me save you the grief.”
I’ve pretty much resigned myself to being forever single at this point. We all get lonely and crave intimacy but humans are if not anything else, adaptable and I’ve made peace with my lack of a girlfriend or wife…it helps that my sex drive has plummeted over the last few years. Nowadays whenever I get The Urge I just click on a quick porn video and treat my boner like the medical condition that it is and drain it like a cist then move on with my day.
Gee, how am I still single?
Get out of my head.
You too shy away from attractive women when they flirt with you? Who knew?!
Ha!
Happy birthday Peter Murphy.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UrfFHzqGBZI
Yasss. So good.
I had the hots for a guy who was more into Peter Murphy than me.
Yea my first GF was the same. I looked nothing like him.
I was skinny but probably a foot too short.
I was husky from a kind to now. So the thin thing was never meant to be for me. The Bowie look didn’t fly.
This is what the Sister of Mercy dream they could be. Such goodness.
Easy there big fella. Vision Thing was a perfect album.
Wow. I tried online dating essentially when Netscape was the browser and “computer dating” services were only for desperate.
Did not go well, but nothing awful. Only head scratcher was one that I thought went really well and complete ghosting.
Wound up marrying a friend who I met in graduate school.
College was such a dead end for me. I did not expect that. I dated almost exclusively townies.
Undergrad was not good. Dated one woman who was completely unreliable. Knew enough that it was not going to be happy long term relationship.
At that time at a young age realized slightly lonely, but happy was much better than being miserable in a relationship.
This. I watched my brother get eaten alive by a not-so-good-pretty-fucking-awful second wife.
That was me.
As a townie, I married the first girl I met that hadn’t serially dated all of my friends.
And that lasted all of two years.
Most of my online encounters started out okay but then got weird in some way. Like, I talked to a guy for 1.5 years every day, long philosophical emails, then when we finally met up, we couldn’t stand each other. And also, everything that could go wrong that day did.
Another guy thought I walked on water and treated me very well, but also like a beloved TV show. I felt like he wanted me to be always ON and entertaining him. He was very sweet and very proper. He was exhausting.
But I beat all the internet/Reddit/incel memes with my internet find. He was honest about himself. Called himself miztrniceguy and he really was a nice guy. Had similar thought processes and goals. I was willing to overlook non-achievement of Mormon cultural rites of passage that other women weren’t (mission). He was willing to overlook a whole lot of my faults. We have our relationship weaknesses (enabling each other’s vices), but we’re almost at 20 years of marriage.
I watch these true crime shows while cross stitching, and I shudder to think about how very WRONG it could have all gone.
Heh… I have been that guy. Trying too hard is very off-putting… And seeing it slip away makes you try harder.
I had a blatant example on my first forray back into dating. Way, way too soon. While the divorce was still being finalized at the court, I met a stunning young lady at Bible study. I was not looking to date, and I was involved in conversation with another couple of people when we met, so I didn’t really notice her as dating fodder. We really hit it off. We talked for hours, went to dinner and scheduled a date for the next week.
And then everything went wrong. I was caught behind a massive wreck that made me very late… I got super nervous about it because suddenly it became really important that this go well… We couldn’t go to the play I had tickets for after they close the doors, so she picked a movie… The Cell, which featured a guy hanging from hooks through his skn, masturbating on a corpse. My first first date in over 15 years.
It still was salvageable…. Until I looked over at her on the way back to her place and suddenly a rush of nervousness came over me. I was worried about what she thought, and it showed. And I could see her see it. You could just see her face change… “Loser!”.
I smartly waited a year to go out again.
https://thumbs2.redgifs.com/UprightUrbanChinesecrocodilelizard-mobile.mp4#t=0
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/UgnXH/4f4d94babaa69127a20a7cf567e76e2e0d55ee02.webp
NSFW.
https://thumbs2.redgifs.com/HighlevelRundownAnophelesmosquito-mobile.mp4#t=0
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/FNBBC/d0126a4a05ce4e65c18cb34b757682cda9bcf84a.webp
NSFW.
Where do they come up with these dictionary based URLs?
Upright urban Chinese crocodile lizard.
Sounds very non PC.
That you put these on this post is why I am proud to be a man.
Meant as reply to Q.
TBH, I met SP on-line, but not a dating site. “Knew” each other for many years before it ever occurred to us to start talking (we were separately encouraged by a mutual friend).
College towns are rough- no matter how charming I can try to be, SP’s words still run through my head: “At some point, you have to talk to them.” I amused the fuck out of Spud last week when I made introductions to a very attractive and good-natured 20-something whom I knew and who has a remarkably annoying verbal quirk. When you’re talking to her, she nods and responds, “Worm,” as an acknowledgement of what you said. I warned him ahead of time, which made it MUCH harder for him to not burst out laughing when she started doing that.
I’m now much more successful talking to 20 year olds than when I was in my 20s.
If I only knew what I know now at that time…
Yeah. I’m pretty resigned to being alone. But, my life is pretty good.
Every person I’ve met online turned out to be fucking weird in person.
US of A or Land of the Rising Sun?
Well, the first person I met from Hit ‘n’ Run was Nikki….
“Wanna have a baby?”
I KNOW you are weird, straff, but I still wish to meet you.
Piss Alley, Tokyo. 2024?
/assuming the SMOD hasn’t rendered us all to ashes by then?
Looks like I’m not headed there anytime soon if they insist on COVID boosters for tourists to avoid quarantine.
Plus the whole zip gun issues they have there.
Avatar checks out.
Not sure that’s the best use of a wish.
Gawd-dammit! I want to eat charcoal grilled cow intestines, get drunk on sake, and piss in a Tokyo alley before I die.
Well, you should’ve studied hard like I did.
I’m a huge child. I’m watching Silly Songs with Larry
I love my lips – Larry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1FGaCNN1aw
If my lips moved to Dooloot…
Heh. That one, Dance of the Cucumber and Barbara Manatee are my all-time favorites.
A lot of guys put on an air of being an asshole despite actually being good guys. My wife just ignores the dumb things I say and shows appreciation for what I do. But, if you’re on a first date? Damn, that dude with the 3 strikes isn’t hiding anything. He’s an asshole through and through.
Yep. Why I left.
As is right.
I’ve discovered that there’s a big difference between drunk at 2am and sober at 6pm. It’s amazing how much boring liquor can cover up.
No boring, just negging, and why should I stay/tolerate that?
Huh. I never thought about this until now, but it occurs to me that a smokin’ hot German DJ I almost hooked up with at a party (at a friend’s friend’s house we all slept over at so no I was not going to really “hook up”, not with everyone else hanging around besides I don’t do that) was negging me the next morning. He was like (auf deutsch) “why are Americans so fat” and pointedly looking at me. Yeah I was starting to pack on the pounds but WTF dude.
You shouldn’t (and didn’t.) It’s a bullshit move.
Tulip: “And I frequently think about leaving Glibs”
Nooooooo!!!!
Don’t forget, you’re here forever
This. We love Tulip, she is awesome.
The misogyny gets hard to take at times.
I can see that. If I ever do that, slap me upside the head.
It’s now going to be impossible to present this opinion without it seeming misogynistic, I suppose, but I think some of it comes down to both libertarianism and pre-smart phone internet culture both basically being an autistic sausage fest and women generally being less appreciative of male bantz.
I’ve known quite a few men that suck at banter. They think that share obscure knowledge is what I wanna hear when I’m drunk.
All men suck at banter, was essentially the point I wished to make and seemingly proved it in my failure to do so. Every time I come back here I end up causing a shit show and offending someone to the point where they leave, and for that I really am genuinely sorry. It really legitimately is not intentional, and it makes me feel terrible.
You keep saying you’re going to shut the fuck up, but then don’t.
Yep. That’s why assholes think it’s ok to tell me to make them a sandwich. They just want to banter with other guys. Fuck off.
Well, the point I was going for was more that socially inept men make up the vast majority of libertarians and also made up the vast majority of early internet users, so a lot of web culture is male-oriented, and libertarian websites are probably much more so than the average. In same-sex peer groups men tend to relate to each other like jackasses because we’re socialized against showing affection outside of a sexual context. So we prank each other, tease each other, humiliate each other, insult each other, compete with each other, and call each other names because that’s how we express affection to other men. When a woman shows up we don’t always curtail that behavior and act like gentlemen, or worse, we decide to treat them like “one of the guys” and make ourselves look like assholes. Bear in mind I was speaking specifically about Glibertarians, not your general experiences online or with online dating.
You’re clearly extremely upset though, and as usual I’m clearly not helping, so I’m going to go ahead and take you up on that offer to fuck off.
I think she was agreeing and telling ‘them’ to fuck off. #mansplaining101
I’m not sure you’re right, but if I misinterpreted then I apologize. Either way this would be a great opportunity for me to shut the fuck up.
You were doing OK until the last paragraph.
Your first paragraph is an explanation of maintenance culture in the military
Got through yanking out all the weeds and unwanted plants in the garden. Decided to leave this odd looking one so I could see what the long stalk would produce. (Hai, hai euphemism). Glad I did. From bud to this is a week. Like slow motion fireworks. Agapanthus.
https://ibb.co/CmznBTg
Very pretty!
I wish my weeds would grow into something like that.
If Mr Splosives kicks it before I do, I’m going to initiate Crazy Cat Lady mode.
Intentional? Funny thing is I almost read right past it.
Online dating was the shits. But I always tried to at least stick out the date. I dated one girl for a while. It was pretty obvious to me that she was not interested in continuing when I was working full-time, taking a full load of classes, and skipped out on GRE review (pretty sure the math tricks weren’t going to help me – and I was right), and she had already made plans with her roommate that she didn’t want to break.
I met Mrs. L at a bar one night. Her ballerina friend, with whom I had some chemistry but had decided I wasn’t sure I was ready for all the crazy that came with the hot, introduced us. To me, the future Mrs. L was just as good looking and caught my attention. I don’t think she would have been nearly as interested in me if I hadn’t been of interest to her hot friend.
On topic: Even though she’s only 16 months old, I actually worry about q-ette not because teenage boys are scum, but because young adult men are scum; I think they’re more scum than they used to be.
Teenage boys have always been scum and the best advice I could give her is to always judge them by their actions, not by their words. That said, in the past young men had to accomplish something to impress young women. Now, because the mating market has been so distorted, there are fewer non-scum young men. I don’t necessarily worry about her falling for a scumlord, just that she won’t be able to find someone that’s worthy of her.
Then again she could turn out to be a lesbian and save us all the headache. As long as she’s happy.
Well, keep your appreciation for the Instagram models to yourself lest you teach her that her only value lies in the size of her fits and her willingness to display them. Your behavior matters more than what you say.
Tits not fits.
I’m guessing both are significantly larger than most women’s.
her only value lies in the size of her fits and her willingness to display them
Seem quite appropriate for a toddler.
My oldest daughter might be a lesbian. I don’t give a fuck. I just want to be a Grandpa. Figure it out!
/here’s a turkey baster.
My wife fears for the world if I have a granddaughter. I will burn it if they fuck with her.
I assume, however, that you’ve confirmed the doctor didn’t make a mistake when he “assigned the baby’s gender at birth?”
How would Q know? He’s not a biologist.
Teach her to be happy with her own company and to develop a slew of her own interests.
I met my wife while swing dancing. I’d actually known her mom (no jokes) for a month or two before meeting her. She lived in LA at the time, came for that night’s dance and we hit it off. We dated long distance for about a year-and-a-half before finally moving in together and, a year+ later, getting married. We sit here today with an adorable three month old and are thinking about when to shoot for number two.
I had little to no luck getting women in either my college years or early 20s, although I did myself no favors. It took me quite a while to figure out how to dress properly and to hit the gym regularly. I think I owe Art of Manliness a debt of gratitude for getting me into the mindset that I had to try and turn myself into an attractive person.
It also took me a while to figure out a bar’s not the only place to go find women. If you’re like me and not all that skilled in terms of going up to someone you don’t know and striking up a conversation, a bar’s a pretty hopeless place. I found social dancing a much easier place to talk to people.
Fan of ,art of manliness, as well.
You both are ridiculously awesome.
You should make lot of babies. Name one after me (real name).
Some girl picked me out of a crowd at a square dance in 1974. I never stood a chance.
Been married 46 years now.
So square!
/draws box in air
It got me laid. Eventually. I mean, I do have kids.
Congrats! I only made it 26 years. The last 15 were… uuhhmm… difficult.
I feel your pain.
He has kids so we know he do-si-dos.
Met my guy in a university extension class for writing. It’ll be 24 years in a week!
It may be time turn in that paper.
Why can’t people just meet their mate the way I did? At the disco.
/Searches for local discos
I met mine in highschool but didn’t marry until 14 years later after we reconnected.
Type like a butterfly, sting like a bee!
Your problem is that you didn’t advertise yourself as being available to Firsters only. We are a better breed. Something more human than human.
Bread = carbs
/not interested
Type like a butterfly, First like a bee, Nick. You’ll be a better class of organism if you do. You can transcend being just a man.
All this talk about dating, love and relationships leads me to start thinking about love songs. Then I think about covers of those love songs and which version is better. Inevitably I end up here:
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/T0epZ9tjYdA
Wookin’ pa nub, indeed.
And now I’m thinking about my favorite anti-love song performance by a woman:
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/T0epZ9tjYdA
Goddammit:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=45BvoF1hq50
And finally, anti-love from the fellas:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WUjOLg0SP7w
Okay, I’ll piss off now.
My entries:
https://youtu.be/H3-_ZAcoDzk
https://youtu.be/FRZzUh9hcTo
Love that second one! Esp. the hand flick at “fickle flame”. 🤠 🕊 🎺 🚛
By Karen Carpenter
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5gInGRQeFEs
Offspring-self esteem
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Abrn8aVQ76Q
Ah the Amber Heard song
It’s never easy to decide which version is better.
https://youtu.be/H9uXm0-tZ1g
I preferred to let the ladies do the pursuing.
^^^ I cannot agree more
I was marked and culled from the herd. /No regrets.
Funny though, I wasn’t informed of the details for many, many years.
My longest lasting relationships started like that.
Although the one where I lassoed the woman I was interested in also lasted a while.
Then she managed to untie herself?
How..serendipitous
A position has opened up as a technical training requirements specialist. Remains in location (which I can move in the future), probably close to 100% WFH or go into the local FAA office once a pay period and its non-supervisory but maintain same pay.
Time to get a writting.
You may want to use spell check before submitting your application.
Why? It’s a FedGov position.
Good point. I own my own firm. I recently did some hiring. I immediately passed on the applicants with multiple spelling errors.
I only had one! That I can see.
Most of the younger applicants I see at work don’t know what the fuck they’re doing when making their resumes.
I have expressed to all my employees that they need to send their package or resume to anyone and everyone to proof. They all blow it off.
I found “myperfectresume.com” to be quite useful for my job hunt last year. There’s a small subscription (which you cancel anytime, like when you get a job) and it has fields to put your info in categories like work experience, education, skills, other info, objective, etc.
Then it lets you see it arranged into all manner of different templates, which was really nice. I downloaded a few different versions of the completed thing.
Also lets you have different versions of input. I had one that emphasized engineering management, and another that focused on technical work.
I logged in again Sunday and updated it to apply to the internal job posting I am hoping to get interviewed for.
Very much worth the small investment.
Very cool!
Thanks. I haven’t had a resume since 1998, but I’m thinking about it!
Thanks hayek! Will check it out
Oh we are accusing Teran of supplying drones to Russia. Okay…I doubt they need material support but it seems we are opening another front.
It can be true without it also being a declaration of war.
Interesting article Tulip. I hope you don’t give up since you are an intelligent person and fun to be with. I figure keep working on your goals and you may get a surprise.
But jeez online dating seems like a swamp. Some lucky people make it through, but many end up in stinky ooze to their waists with one wrong step.
To be fair, trying to find love in a bar is just as bad.
There are pick up joints and then there are the corner pub types, which aren’t so bad.
I don’t think there’s any one formula that is “right.”
But Tulip’s experiences would give anyone pause!!
Sorry, Tulip. You seem like an amazing chick.
My brother has been divorced longer than he was married. Successful and a really cool dude, but his online dating experiences were awfully similar to yours. Sadly, he just gave up as well.
We talk about it a lot and I think he realizes that it isn’t gonna happen in a conventional way.
Hmm. Any interest in a black belt IT engineer with a penchant for firearms, healthy living and doggies?
Does he First? Nothing else is really relevant.
Bro, he was firsting when you were simply trying to be the first into the egg.
Congrats on that one, btw.
I may give him my endorsement to date Tulip, though I’ll need to see some examples of his body of work.
And I came from a super sperm produced by The Great Firster. There was no race. It was a one-shot insemination, all part of his master plan.
Yeah. That was my brother.
He’s still uncertain about you. You still have time to prove yourself, though.
Will you look at this fucking guy. Look at this fucking guy everybody! He’s got jokes.
Less time, now.
Maybe?
Wow.
Doctor Jill is worse than Sleepy Joe.
Is that the bogadas? Or the tacos?
Oh its both
Hey Raul, you breakfast taco!
I find the entire idea of a first lady repugnant. It’s a concept too closely related to royalty. No one elected your fucking spouse. That goes for all of them.
I don’t think you will find anyone here trying to first you on that.
Yup. It’s a very silly tradition at best, and it’s expensive with all the staffers.
And at worst you get the ones who lust for political power like Hilldog and Jilldog.
Why do so few people agree with this? It is painfully obvious to me, and anathema to all we believe as Americans.
Large amounts of ice falling down a mountain gains energy. Pro tip. If you have to keep zooming out on your camera you may want to look for cover.
https://twitter.com/RebeccaRambar/status/1546154939080183808
My (climber) daughter: “They took cover in a crevice!”
Me: “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”
This guy just ducked behind some rocks. If not, he would be dead.
Your daughter gets it. Climbing has many challenges, and you might die, but while you are doing it you are fully alive and in the here and now.
I wrote a Glib article on it a number of years back. It should be in the archive under my handle.
(You are a lucky dad to have a kid who is a climber.)
I remember it.
She’s funny. In 2020 she froze on the Beehive in Acadia and had to be talked through it by a stranger, Now she works at a climbing gym and started a club at her school.
Crazy sport.
Tomorrow, I am challenging all of the Glibertariat to a First off. I am already well aware that no single Glib can compete with my awesome raw Firsting power, but I figure that the combined strength of the entire community may at least make good sport. I have been getting soft lately. I feel almost second-like, though I know that this could never really be the case.
Be there. Or be third.
You really don’t have anything else to do, do you?
My cat’s breath smells like cat food….
Try the other end and report back.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2022/07/12/philadelphia-james-lambert-beating-brothers-turn-selves-in-police-murder-charge/
Fucking children. (Not like the Joe Biden way)
10 and 14.
Some of the kids are not alright.
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/7-eleven-stores-across-l-a-encouraged-to-close-following-deadly-robberies/
😲
Happy national pecan pie day.
https://nationaltoday.com/national-pecan-pie-day/
https://wsvn.com/news/local/broward/man-finds-iguana-in-toilet-for-3rd-time-in-pembroke-pines/
I can’t even imagine…
Nope.
Iguana today, water moccasin tomorrow
https://www.fox29.com/news/police-man-fights-back-in-wissinoming-robbery-fends-off-2-armed-suspects
Wow. Good for him, I guess, but he needs some range time.
Daily Quordle 169
7️⃣5️⃣
3️⃣6️⃣
quordle.com
Daily Quordle 169
6️⃣7️⃣
4️⃣5️⃣
Daily Quordle 169
7️⃣6️⃣
4️⃣5️⃣
Daily Quordle 169
6️⃣7️⃣
5️⃣4️⃣
6 8
4 5
Fatfingered top right, should have been a 7. Tarnation.
Morning, Glibs.
I had a short power outage this morning. Just long enough for me to say “What..?” before the power came back. Still annoying since it meant my computer shut down.
Good morning, U, Tulip, Sean, Stinky, rhy, homey, and cyto!
Got all the mid-year pay increases entered into the payroll system, leaving me plenty of time to go back and double-check them before next Monday. Also received the amounts of most of the quarterly and semi-annual incentives. Reliable Co-worker is back today after a couple of days off, and mail tends to be light the second day of the work week. Today should be a pretty tolerable work day. (::knocks wood vigorously::)
👍
Hope it turns out. I got the most stressfull stuff done yesterday and am mopping up email requests.
I still need to write a cover letter. What is the point of cover letters?
To summarize the summary that is the 1st part of the resume?
—this page intentionally left blank—
“Can this person string together a coherent sentence?”
As I recall, it’s kinda just a “preface” to the resume – in this case, I think the idea is to be brief, direct them to the enclosed/attached resume, emphasize just what a perfect fit you are for this specific job and to say you’re looking forward to discussing it with them further. But what do I know? I haven’t gone job-hunting for more than 22 years, so all the rules and protocols may have changed since then.
Mornin’, reprobates.
Morning ritual: shower, get dressed, put on coffee, prepare morning smoke, pour coffee, hang out on front porch.
Today in increasing senescence: omit the part of coffee preparation where you pour water into the brewing device. Oh, well should be ready soon…
This is why I believe the timer on a drip coffee maker is quite possibly the greatest invention achieved by humankind. Do the prep the night before and wake up to that lovely smell. Technically, I could make use of the “brew stop” feature and pour mine before it’s finished, but Little Black Cat insists on being picked up and cuddled, so I indulge him until the coffee maker beeps that it’s done.
LBC sounds like a treasure.
🐱👤
Oh, he is. He picked me out in the cat room of the Humane Society in no uncertain terms. I sat on the floor, and he marched over and plopped down on my lap. That was that.
And yes, he’s a Ninja kitteh – especially when Big Fat Cat is trying to turn around in the covered litter pan.
Funnily enough the ninja kitty was the only black cat image in the computer’s list.
Obviously designed by someone who understands, probably from hard experience, the essential nature of black kittehs.
Good morning!
Took yesterday off to drive back from Harrisburg and recover from two days of gun school with Tim Herron Shooting. If you want to learn some serious performance-driven handgun shooting skills, I can’t recommend Tim’s classes enough.
Now let’s head off to work, and see what systems collapsed into entropy in my absence…
Mornin’, O evil one. Why are you fighting entropy? I thought chaos was the raison d’etre of the Evil Ones.
Common misconception. We Evil Ones prefer order in everything.
A freshly zero’d hard drive is a perfect expression of order, but how much useful information does it encode?
Define useful.
That many zeroes have a great deal of utility.
Go forth my army of nothings! Go forth and Multiply! Multiply by zero!
Entropy is the second law of thermodynamics.
Nice rant, Tulip. I always hated the whole dating scene, it’s a miracle I actually managed to meet and marry Mrs. Patzer. Online dating sounds like all the shitty things about dating dialed up to eleven.
WRT dating:
Man perplexed after learning his girlfriend has been secretly chewing on socks
Sock it to me!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n6HIzYXZzI0
Why are the deputies on lawn mowers?
Florida man tries to flee deputies on a riding lawn mower
And since when is possession of a handcuff key an offense?
“carrying a concealed handcuff key”
I’m at a bit of a loss as to how one might *openly* be carrying a handcuff key.
They’re not that big.
As an earring?
That would be…quite the conversation starter… 😳
When I met ex-wife, she was in the parking lot of a transmission shop wearing Z Cavarrici jeans, a yellow half-shirt, and had a wood pistol grip sticking out of the waistband.
I told the friend I was with “I’m asking her out- she looks fun!”.
I don’t want to bring anybody down, but i don’t know why relationships are so hard.
Sometimes i think they are more trouble than they are worth.
To me, most of them were worth it. Even my first and “failed” marriage (we gave it our best shot and parted amicably) was worth it. And certainly the current one, which usually isn’t even very difficult. (I know better than to call it “hard,” knowing this crowd!)
I have failed at dating so much and so consistently that now I expect to fail whenever I think about talking to women. Sort of self-sabotages any chances at this point. I have failed in ways that were my fault, and ways that weren’t. I’ve failed in humorous ways and tragic ways. One woman I talked with on OKCupid was going to call me that weekend, but never did, and I found out six months later it was because she got into a car accident and her 3-year old daughter died.
But at my age the odds of finding someone undamaged is nil anyhow. The last woman my sister and BIL wanted to set me up was a divorcee whose husband has the same first name as me. She told my sis and BIL she would have to refer to me by my middle name instead. They were so perplexed at my disinterest.
Sometimes your best hope is to find someone whose broken bits fit into your own.
Truth.