Highway 82 Revisited

by | Aug 8, 2022 | Family, Musings | 261 comments

I was born at The Crossroads, but that was just an accident:  I’m a hillbilly, not a river rat.

 

My parents were of the car generation, and the freedom of the road still boils in my veins although it’s been a long time since I dialed in a cam or rebuilt a carburetor.  There’s something about places and travel, especially if you connect with people or get a sense of places.  And there’s a connectedness and familiarity about certain ribbons that grace the land.  For good or bad, my ribbon is US82:  it’s home.

In Oktibbeha County MS Dad’s parents had been sharecroppers in a window of a few square miles that centered about that road, but in the winter of 1950-51 they secured a lease on some section 16 land that fronted on it and were finally in charge of themselves and their produce.  There would be some good crops, but there were repeated, epic heat waves through that coming decade.

 

In that same window, my mother’s clans had also farmed for well over a century.  Of the heat, she recalls that the ground split open wide and deep enough to receive her entire foot.  Dust rolled in, red and terrifying, a bit after the papers and movies tell us it had ended and 500 miles too far east, but there it was covering everything.  They owned land but barely got by, her father pretty busted up from an accident in his teens, the sort of thing that routinely befalls the people who stock the industries of the field:  farming, lumbering, and drayage.

Dad’s mother died in childbirth before he turned six; her unluckiest child somehow survived that event, another very long story for another day.  A couple of years later Mom’s father collapsed in the field; at the Memphis VA hospital, a fairly experimental procedure would remove a huge part of one lung, and he would manage to keep limping and plodding along another half century, mostly tending gasoline pumps, whittling, tuning engines, and spinning yarns.  Dad’s father remarried quickly and practically; Mom’s mother worked as hard as a man and saved them somehow.

My parents knew of each other and would find each other eventually…and escape together with my sister and me in the same way as, say, Elvis or Oprah or Bobby Gentry or Bo Diddley or a million others.  But I am made of that place, and its nature and decorations speak to me, so, when I poke about that same latitude, I often find pieces of home even when I’m hundreds of miles away.

 

 

Lately a new gig has me on the road in the old way.  I don’t miss the Fortune 500 or the Global 2000.  I get a lot of windshield time in old haunts, time to think, and I’m realizing that I’m not the only one with the US82 tattoo…and I’m realizing I had the tattoo a lot earlier than I noticed.  I cross it more and more, 100 miles on it this week, even.

It scares some people, so I shouldn’t do it, but I don’t mean anything bad or critical by it when I ask whereya from?  Brunswick, GA, a client told me at my office last month; we compare notes on the fish at a café out on the salt flats.  NewWife is from Savannah, only an hour north of there.  He and her father had both worked for the same timber and paper firm it turns out.  US82 ends in Brunswick, refusing to cross I-95, Glibs might guess, over the historic stench of Jekyll Island.  I was there a couple of months ago to look at some work in Brunswick;  Sea Island and St Simons are right there, but, like US82, I’m not terribly comfortable in the land of $50 lunches.

But everywhere else across southern Georgia, US82 traces towns I’ve always known about.  I’m calling on those factories now, new in a way but not entirely.  Red clay is red clay; pines, post oaks, cedars, and sugar gum cover the land; without a map, I couldn’t prove that I wasn’t back on Papaw’s corner of section 16.  You might have heard of Waycross or Albany; my truck has been at the Chevy dealership in Tifton for a month; the bridge is at Eufala AL.  Not far off the track is Plains, home of Mr Carter; close by there is Americus and the carcass of the deer that took my truck out of action.

In my Texas years, after presents were unwrapped, we would take breakfast and then my son would bid his mother goodbye as we took off west to camp the week between Christmas and New Year’s.  It’s cold and crisp out there; few mosquitos, little humidity.  New Mexico is grand for camping and hiking, and we had the Gila Mountains in our rotation.  US82 once went as far as Las Cruces, home of the worst Walmart in the world.  There are hot springs in those parts full of bacteria that will rot your brain, so be careful.  I parted ways with his mother, and the boy outgrew our trips or outgrew me.  Turns out, DFW is full of interesting women, and a really decent one had attended NMSU and knew all about US82…and hatch chiles.  She was great, nothing wrong with her, and then, in her driveway in the suburbs of Dallas drinking beer with the neighbors like a scene from Hank Hill, one day I finally realized I didn’t belong in Texas.  I went online and started fishing for women in TN, hooked one, and was gone within the year.

 

 

From Texarkana, US82 describes the southern edge of the Red River Valley, and it’s also too much like Mississippi to really be Texas.  I was there this week watching the cows go by.  It rolls past WW2 infrastructure:  distribution, training airfields, prisoner of war camps, railheads, all rotting and covered in kudzu.  It’s alluvial, no oil to speak of, a different Texas from the movie sort.  Tex Avery is not from Avery TX (he was from Garland).  No one in DeKalb has any idea who the general was.  They grow angus and pine poles in these parts and not much else.  There is a tiny hamlet thereabouts, a dot on the map, the only town in the US named for my father’s clan; I doubt my father will ever see the place.

Rolling west, you’ll find Bonham.  Speaker of the House, Mr Sam, was born in Tennessee but grew to greatness in Bonham; Rayburn would return to die there, and there’s a nice museum to him there if you ever want to bore the pants off someone who isn’t a political junkie.  I doubt Bonham himself ever saw the town, which is the seat of Fannin County; I doubt Fannin himself ever saw the county.  People have been coming to Texas to die for a long time, it seems; as for me, I’m not looking for any hard ways to get something named after me.

 

I did find an easy way to die in Texas but failed even after several attempts.  All of this happened a few hundred miles further west on US82 in Wichita Falls.  If you were a road cyclist and if you were an idiot, you might have ridden the Hotter-N-Hell 100 with me in that vicinity.  On the hottest day of each year, eight or ten thousands of us would assemble up there and go for a hundred mile peddle, and some of us did not come back.  I tried the loop on eight occasions and finished five, mostly in my forties.  I’m not an athlete, but I am a planner and I am too mean and ornery to quit a thing I’ve put my head to, so I can finish the loop half the time.

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know much about Arkansas, but the bridge is at Greenville MS.  Jim Henson created Kermit at nearby Leland.  B B King was from Indianola or Itta Bena by most guesses; I don’t think he knew for sure himself.  This story is playing out, so I’ll close with a hat tip to Tuscaloosa; Hank Williams was from Montgomery.  US82 quietly traces these little places and just barely misses a few others like Selma where things happened once.  It’s not very interesting; it’s rusty tractors and pecan orchards.  It’s all so poor and uninteresting that Sherman forgot to burn it…although there is a Sherman TX on US82, but, I’m pretty sure, the general never saw the place.

 

 

 

About The Author

Don escaped Memphis

Don escaped Memphis

all my exes live in Texas

261 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    The tacit gentleman’s agreement between opposing parties is coming apart at the seams and all bets are now off.

    Don said he was fine with OT, so just to bring this over to here…one party is convinced that they hold the levers of power in the bureaucracy. And they aint wrong and plenty of cuck members of the GOP play along thinking that they’ll be spared.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Those members of the GOP are going to get gored either by the Democrats or their own base.

      In their place you will have rabid reactionaries and the party really gets started. The Dems will have to pull out all the stops now. And I mean all of them.

      • Animal

        If it comes to that? Basically all of the worst shit of the several Roman civil wars, but with modern weapons.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Things are getting dangerously unstable now. The idiots in DC think they can keep a lid on it, but it doesn’t work that way. There are too many red lines being crossed and too many people who have written off the system as unreformable and irredeemable.

      • Urthona

        Nah. Nothing will happen for 100 more years.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nothing happens until it does, all at once.

      • robodruid

        I think that depends on the use of AI on the surveillance state. “Bad thought” will probably be allowed to some extent.
        Bud “Bad action” is what will trigger it.

        Still, it will probably get out of control.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-JA1ffd5Ms

      • Drake

        Alex Jones just got fined $50 million for saying things and doing nothing.

      • Not an Economist

        This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.

        Admiral Painter — Hunt For Red October.

      • Drake

        This is collapsing empire shit – so yes.

        Does anyone think they will ever peacefully give up power?

      • juris imprudent

        Well, the edges will get harder, but the center isn’t committed to either extreme.

      • Animal

        The center cannot hold.

      • juris imprudent

        Nope, it will slide to the side that disgusts it just a little less. That side will think they’ve won a great victory, right up to the moment they mount the gibbet.

      • Not Adahn

        Things fall apart.

  2. Urthona

    cool!!

    • Don escaped Texas

      rereading, twas pure ramble

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    you might have ridden the Hotter-N-Hell 100 with me in that vicinity

    Yeah, I’m not that much of an idiot,

    • Don escaped Texas

      somebody: go to some wild and desperate place and risk your life for nearly nothing!

      Scots Irish: let’s go!

  4. Fourscore

    Thanks Don, I too escaped TX.

    Your history is familiar, only the Fourscores were newcomers to the New World and settled 1500 miles north. My brother said we were lucky to have been poor growing up. We really weren’t poor, just didn’t have any money. That’s a great motivator for a kid.

    • rhywun

      We really weren’t poor, just didn’t have any money.

      Heh, that’s a good way to put it. So were we.

      I got free lunches at school, but I always had a roof over my head – even if that roof changed a lot.

      • The Hyperbole

        “I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary situation.”
        — Mike Todd

      • Tundra

        That is a great fucking quote.

        Thanks, I never knew who said it.

      • Chafed

        Seconded

      • rhywun

        Being broke is only a temporary situation.

        Yeah, my mom was a great example of that. She made damn sure we didn’t fall into the “poor” trap. Some questionable decisions were involved early on but the last decades of her life were all right decisions.

      • Fourscore

        In high school I worked in the school lunch room (dishwasher). We got free lunches and pretty much all we could eat, including dessert. The lunch room ladies took care of us kids. Some had kids of their own in school. My folks were happy about the free lunch. Some kids couldn’t afford the 15 cents and carried sandwiches from home.

      • CPRM

        I HS I didn’t eat lunch. Mostly because I wasn’t hungry most of the time, but secondly because at that time my parents couldn’t afford to pay for the lunch and I didn’t want to do the free lunch thing because I’m the One True Libertarian Constitutional Property Rights Minarchist. When I lived in the dorms for college I was on a 1 meal a day plan to save money. Worst Fat Guy Ever.

    • DEG

      We really weren’t poor, just didn’t have any money. That’s a great motivator for a kid.

      Yes. Yes it is.

      • pistoffnick

        I’ve been so poor we ate frozen squash 5 nights a week.
        I’m not poor now.
        “Not poor” is better.

      • Fourscore

        We ate a lot of potatoes, macaroni with tomato soup.

        Not poor is way better

      • rhywun

        Bologna sandwiches.

        *shudder*

      • The Hyperbole

        Fried bologna sammiches are right behind reubens and clubs in the all-time sammich ranking.

      • pistoffnick

        …reubens…

        I knew I liked you for a reason.

      • pistoffnick

        Yes, the secret is to fry the bologna.

      • Shpip

        If you have the equipment, I suggest smoking the bologna before frying it.

        A couple of times a year I’ll hit the local grocery deli and get three slices of 1/2″ thick good beef or garlic bologna. They go into the smoker (or on indirect heat on the Weber) over hickory for 20-30 minutes. Fry one slice with butter in a saute pan (the other two will keep in the fridge). Top with a slice of the cheese of your choice just before it comes out of the pan.

        If I’m feeling a little redneck decadent, I’ll toast a slice of Martin’s potato bread, smear it with a little Durkee’s Famous Sauce, add the smoked & fried bologna, top it all with a sunny side up egg, and eat it open faced with a knife and fork.

      • pistoffnick

        Hoity toity Blue box mac n cheese was 4/$1. Off brand was half that price.

        I found a $20 bill out in the softball outfield once. I bought hamburger and hamburger helper. We ate like damn kings for 2 weeks.

      • rhywun

        My God Hamburger Helper was a treat. My mom preferred Tuna Helper, though.

      • Tres Cool

        I still make it for Tres Version 2.0
        Use half-half or cream in place of milk; butter instead of margarine
        Defeats being cost-effective but takes things to a new level

      • rhywun

        Yeah, and I use chicken stock instead of water when I eat that crap – kicks it up another notch.

      • Tres Cool

        Holy Flaming Menstrual Clots of Mother Mary! That’s genius.

    • Don escaped Texas

      We’ve been in the South for three hundred years, both sides, and have entirely nothing but tombstones to show for it. Maybe we should try some place cooler in a generation or so?

  5. Sensei

    That was a fun read! Thanks.

    • hayeksplosives

      Wasn’t that a fun style of storytelling?!?

      I enjoyed it thoroughly.

      Thanks, Don!

      • Don escaped Texas

        some of it came to me while I was a stone’s throw from OK; I’m sure you understand a lot of it

        Total ramble, but, ever since Faulkner, drunk Southerners are allowed to write about characters in theme in setting…..with no real plot. It’s abstract art for lovers of complete sentences.

        Men will literally write hundreds of pointless paragraphs instead of just go to therapy.

    • juris imprudent

      Seconded.

    • Surly Knott

      Thirded.

      • Brochettaward

        On yet another day where I’ve brought so much to the Glib community, you people, with no concern for my emotional state while pregnant with The First, employ the most triggering language imaginable.

      • Surly Knott

        CWAA

    • Don escaped Texas

      pure ramble: loose ends, a few buttons on the same thread?

  6. Shpip

    I’ve taken the stretch of US 82 from Tifton, GA to Montgomery before on my way from Florida to Birmingham. Even stopped to stretch my legs in Cuthbert. Cool fact, if you’re ever in a small southern county seat and have lost your bearings, just look for the CSA memorial in the town square. The soldier will be facing north.

    • Ted S.

      The woke brigade hasn’t torn down those statues yet?

      • Shpip

        The stuff that you can get away with in places like Richmond or New Orleans would get you disappeared in a town like Cuthbert GA, or Newberry SC.

      • Don escaped Texas

        I see them everywhere, of course. They mean something different to me, but I I’m okay with the other reasonable way of thinking about them. Forrest was even dug up and moved the other day.

        I would tear down every statue in these United States myself if it meant that everyone agreed that moving forward we would again be a land of free men minding our own business, uncoerced and unconcerned, livings our lives on our own merits as we saw fit, but no such deal is available.

  7. Animal

    Don, you have a great style, made me feel as though I was looking over your shoulder. More, please.

    • Tonio

      Great praise from someone who writes quite respectable Americana.

      • juris imprudent

        The interesting thing is the distinction in those two subdomains, both in style and vernacular. And they are, for me, equally engaging even though I can claim no personal familiarity with either.

      • Tundra

        ^^

      • Don escaped Texas

        Well, it’s one of those nurture or nurture things. In 1973 I was the slowest talking person you ever met with a bushel of native whimsy sharpened before television took over our culture. Then I went to grade school with kids from Akron (very long story), then college (I found most kids at Knoxville to be bigger hicks than me, FWIW), all the while drinking in the style of debaters, professors….and then the writers: I think Twain is the genuine American. I feel a kinship with Dorothy Parker, but I know Kin Hubbard and Will Rogers and Eudora Welty. I don’t know if anything about me is original any more, but I do hope I’ve stolen from the best.

    • Don escaped Texas

      I think the power in that one was that it was shallow and light: there’s a ton more on every topic I touched upon, but traipsing across the land and through ideas is easier reading. If anyone really needs a full essay on whittling hickory whistles while sitting on the cannons at Shiloh, it’s in the back of my head somewhere.

  8. Drake

    Last week the FBI Director sat in front of Congress and told them that they weren’t politically biased. He said it was just a matter of limited resources that prevented them from investigating Hunter Biden and attacks on pro-life groups.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The country has taken a very dark turn tonight. We’re closer to the edge than any time since the Civil War. I figured they’d try to head off a fresh run at the pass and would indict if needed.

      • Tundra

        Do you really think so?

        We are pretty dialed in here. I’ll bet the vast majority of peeps in this country have no idea this happened. Like 300M.

      • straffinrun

        I think this is an increase in tension of a couple magnitudes. They are making it clear they intend to arrest Trump if at all possible. If their personal lives were going well financially, maybe Trump supporters would just grumble and not act. If they feel they got nothing to lose, they may act out in dangerous ways.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        👆

        Just about everyone who went into the Capitol had something in common, financial issues.

      • rhywun

        I also think nothing else will happen.

      • Sensei

        OTH if FedGov shuts down TikTok…

      • rhywun

        And monkeys might fly out my butt.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        More than that are aware. And there are enough on the fringe that a percentage will take action as the pressure mounts. Particularly as the economic situation worsens.

        And that is what the security state desperately desires. They are chomping at the bit to crack down on Americans, mostly to save themselves and their power. But also to solidify their authority.

      • straffinrun

        My guess is that most Trump supporters don’t follow politics much at all, but they do follow Trump.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a mix.

        But they pretty much all have lost any trust in the federal government. They view it as the enemy.

      • rhywun

        I’m no Trumper but they’re right.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Remains to be seen but political upheavals don’t ever come from the uninformed middle. It’s an incredibly dangerous precedent to set as the peaceful transition of power relies on the loser having confidence that he won’t be prosecuted. Now that this Rubicon’s been crossed that’s over, especially considering what the tenuous justification is likely to be.

      • straffinrun

        They are in for a penny in for a pound at this point. They can’t just raid his house and then say, “Welp, we didn’t find anything. Trump’s clear.”

      • Sensei

        +1 Carlos Ghosn

        They are going to manufacture something one way or another.

  9. Tonio

    Thanks, Don, for this lovely reminiscence — nicely layed-out and illustrated.

    Sorry your piece dropped at an inopportune time wrt current affairs. That’s a constant danger of writing here.

    I hope everyone here will take the time to read Don’s piece, now or in the coming days. His piece is not diminished by our outrage and need to react to the latest events.

    • juris imprudent

      It is in fact a wonderful antidote to all that. A reminder of who we are and where we come from.

      • one true athena

        yes! very much so.

      • MikeS

        Well put, JI. I enjoyed it and it got me thinking about my old highways.

      • rhywun

        Yaaas

      • MikeS

        That really is just a great damn song.

      • Chafed

        Ted’S is that you?

      • Don escaped Texas

        cool

        The pecans haven’t changed…

        but air conditioning is sweet, and I don’t miss the smell of rich carburetors while idling at a stop-sign.

  10. DEG

    This is a good read. Thanks Don!

    • Don escaped Texas

      I need to drive your parts some day.

  11. Tundra

    This is a terrific article, Don.

    I am a road trip guy in a world that wants me to stop.

    That pic of the tree growing through the truck made me a laugh. I drove by a place in WA last week that had a VW bus about ten feet in the air.

    • Don escaped Texas

      In my world, you can be slipping through the woods and just find part of a house up in a tree. If you see a turtle on a fence post, that’s one thing, but when you see a roof or a stud wall up in an oak, you know The Big Pitcher in the Sky threw someone a curve, that somewhere in Norman or Tuscaloosa or Jarrell someone’s left with a clean slab where their home once was.

  12. B.P.

    Bookmarked and note to self: Drive the length of Route 82.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Maybe so. I wouldn’t try to sell that idea, but I would never argue against it.

      When you get to Las Cruces, I hope they’ve bulldozed that Walmart.

  13. straffinrun


    David Axelrod
    @davidaxelrod
    One thing is very clear.
    Garland would not have authorized this raid, and no federal judge would have signed off on it, if there weren’t significant evidence to warrant it.

    The raid proves the raid was justified.

    https://twitter.com/davidaxelrod/status/1556784447730630656

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s rich coming from that corrupt motherfucker

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Cheering on the weaponization of federal law enforcement. We’re in trouble.

    • Sensei

      The raid proves the raid was justified.

      Perfectly sums it up.

    • Rat on a train

      no federal judge would have signed off on it
      See FISA warrant for Carter Page.

  14. The Hyperbole

    Great write up, Don. You write prettier than a twenty dollar whore…or something.

    • Don escaped Texas

      FirstWife’s sisters insisted that most men’s first experiences were with pros. Maybe that’s a Texas thing?

      Seems weird to me: you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a woman who’s ready for company.

      True story: this is just some stupid shit I hammered out over two beers sitting on the couch while NewWife was watching something I don’t care about.

  15. pistoffnick

    Nice article, Don.

    I’m a Highway 61 guy, myself. It used to run from Grand Portage, MN (at the Canadian border) to New Orleans, LA, generally following the Mississippi River. You may have heard old Bobby Dylan sing about it.

    I hope to explore more of it in the near future.

    • MikeS

      You go on your trip yet?

      • pistoffnick

        Just got back from Oshkosh Airshow/ SP’s Celebration of Life / Maine Lobster Festival.

        I might be vacationed out until winter.

      • MikeS

        Oh sweet. I didn’t realize you went out there. Very cool. Wish I could have.

      • pistoffnick

        Very cool. Wish I could have.

        I got to meet Old Man, Webdom, SP’s very talkative sister (and her very non-talkative husband), Spud, Swiss, Nephilium (and his girlfriend), Warty (who is EXACTLY as you would picture him), L0lbot, db, CPRM (for the second time), Timeloose, Whahappen, Tulip, the very handsome Playa Manhattan, the striking Riven, and Sugarfree (who looks nothing like the demon I had imagined. I even gave him a bro-hug.). I’m sure there are a few I’m missing (forgive an old man and his failing mind).

        I can die peacefully now.

      • pistoffnick

        I will be writing a sharply worded letter to both Hillsboro, NH gas stations explaining that I did not buy gas from them because they did not provide public restrooms. I had to drive another 30 miles (praying I wouldn’t pee my pants) until we made it to Keene. I literally walked in holding my pee-pee to stem the flow.

        I will also write to the NY turnpike authority explaining that a) they had no facilities to accept my cash payment, and b) their call center was unavailable when I texted them, hence, c) fuck off. YOU GET NOTHING!

      • DEG

        I guess you were at SP’s memorial service on Sunday? I was there Saturday. Sorry I missed you.

        There are more than two gas stations in Hillsboro. Either the Irving or the Cumberland Farms should have had a public restroom. Standard disclaimers about them not working or being cleaned.

        I don’t know if Minnesoda will enforce toll violations from NY. You might want to be careful about not paying. The NY folks would know better than me, but my impression is the NY Thruway Authority has been stepping up toll enforcement. And yeah, they went electronic payment only a few years ago. That’s become increasingly common.

        Next time you are in NH, let me know. I’m in touch with some H&R refugees and we can set up a meet-up.

        I thought Warty wasn’t as big as I thought he would be. I even told him that.

      • TARDis

        Forgot NSFW (language)!

      • tripacer

        I’ll make it to Oshkosh… someday.

      • pistoffnick

        It’s worth it.

      • Tundra

        I’ve been there a bunch of times. My best friend won the top prize for homebuilt planes. I saw Chuck Yeager fly his P-51 in formation with modern fighters.

        Go.

    • PudPaisley

      The stretch from Dakota, MN to Lake City, MN sure is a purdy drive.

      • pistoffnick

        Yes it is. I went to high school in Lake City and had a girlfriend in Winona.

        I can say that the Wisconnie side of that stretch of the Mississippi is also very nice. Especially if you like twisty roads, cheese, and apple cider.

      • PudPaisley

        Yeah, the Wisconsin side is a nice drive too, especially around Trempeleau. I’ll be driving part of that stretch of 61 later this week. My sister and BIL have a cabin on Lake Pepin just south of Pepin. They own the land from the Chippewa River north for quite a stretch. The property is a duck hunter’s paradise. I’m sure I’ll stop at the Nelson Cheese Factory to stock up on my way there.

        I go to Winona occasionally for live music, mostly in the winter. The main haunts are Ed’s No Name Bar and the Goodview Bar. It’s a nice little town.

      • pistoffnick

        Several of my friends started Island City Brewing in Winona. I have no idea if they make good beer (I don’t really like beer), maybe give them a try.

      • MikeS

        One of my prouder moments was being a picket line crosser at a grain terminal in Winona when I was but a young lad. Seemed like a nice little town. Shitty part was the guys we replaced were happy with what was going on, but a different elevator went on strike and they were talked into striking in solidarity. It was an interesting and formative experience.

      • MikeS

        Another important thing that happened there: I saw the Phantom Menace in the local theater and Jar Jar Binks singlehandedly killed my affection for the franchise.

    • Don escaped Texas

      I was born at The Crossroads: US61 x US49.

      You may have heard old Bobby Dylan sing about it.

      kicks rock: I thought Highway 82 Revisited was pretty sly…..too sly?

  16. R.J.

    Thank you Don. A great article and a nice piece of evocative prose.

    • Don escaped Texas

      you’re kind

      just missed you a few miles

  17. mikey

    Thanks Don. Wonderful story.
    Caption for the truck pic – “It ran when I parked it.”

    • Sensei

      Yup. Minor rust. Some body damage.

      • DrOtto

        That’ll buff out

    • Don escaped Texas

      I got Big Ugly out of the shop (on US82) yesterday: runs great, no transmission problems that I can tell. Got 14MPG all the way home. A month without his truck is hard on a man.

      Drove maybe 500 miles this morning……pure Southern pleasure. Northern Georgia and northern Alabama a particularly pretty.

  18. mikey

    Re Poor vs Broke.
    One of the last bits I heard was on NPR before I stopped listening was an NPR drone reporting on what it was like in the “Poorest county in the country (according to some survey or census)”. When asked what was like living in “The Poorest County…..”. Everyone said “Poor? We ain’t got much money, but we ain’t poor.” The NPR drone found someone she could relate to at the Food Stamp Office where the lady said ‘most everyone was elidgeable but no one would sign up. She felt her job was to get folks to “swallow their pride” (her exact words)”.and accept the handouts.
    ‘Bout summed things up.
    The county was somewhere in the middle of nowhere Nevada.

    • rhywun

      We were on the stamps for awhile – until enough siblings moved out, mom found a good job, and a steady male partner was achieved.

      So I’ve seen both sides of that coin.

  19. Ownbestenemy

    Great story Don

    • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

      That’s JoJo level stupid.

    • Brochettaward

      So, Trump is a war criminal now, to boot?

      And if he is a war criminal…what does that make every other president in the last generation?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s actually a plausible argument for the last several at least but this was neither the time nor the place.

      • MikeS

        The Libertarian Party: Irritating friends and alienating allies since 1971.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s stupid on so many levels. Trump was the least war mongering of any president since Jimmy carter or Reagan. Even if you were going to insult Trump in your tweet inexplicably targeting Republicans as hypocrites at a time like this, it’s one of the dumbest ways to do it I could think of. They aren’t investigating him for war crimes. Even the progs don’t attack Trump on that, of all the shit they try and throw at him.

        Even just going beyond the obvious stupidity of the tweet mocking conservatives right now, it’s the sort of absolutely amateurish and holier than thou sort of messaging that frankly has made the LP such a joke to begin with. It really is a place for the worst sort of grifters. The LP is filled with second rate political creatures suckling off the teet of anyone dumb enough to donate to them. The ones who were somehow too dumb and too incompetent to hack it in either of the main parties, but who would gladly jump at the chance if presented while pretending to take principled stances that make anyone mulling over applying the libertarian label to themselves look fucking retarded.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        There are definitely bigger fish to fry than piling on the former president who’s apparently in the process of being framed by a weaponized federal law enforcement apparatus and his supporters. It won’t win any hearts and minds, that’s for sure.

    • straffinrun

      “I get why you’re pissed and this wrong, but now you know why we hate the thin blue line attitude of some Republicans.”

      Why not put a little sugar in the medicine?

      • Brochettaward

        Because as stated above, the LP is run by same sorts of political creatures who make up the two major parties, but just the ones too dumb and too incompetent to actually make it there. This is a classic example of the cosmotarian mindset. The one who mingles and associates with progs on the regular and desperately wants to be accepted.

      • straffinrun

        The LP is run mostly by the Mises Caucus now. It’s much better than before and, while I agree that this tweet, has terrible timing, the reality is that it’s correct. The FBI has been out of control for decades and it’s only recently that GOPers are upset with it.

      • straffinrun

        Just to be clear: this is a much better way of handling it.


        Rand Paul
        @RandPaul

        US Senate candidate, KY
        The
        @FBI
        raid on President Trump was approved by Director Wray, who also claimed that the illegal FISA warrants used to spy on Trump were constitutional.

        Today’s raid is outrageous and unjust, but predictable.

        https://twitter.com/RandPaul/status/1556840435657621506

      • Stillhunter

        Goddamn fast typers!!

      • Lackadaisical

        I like that he added ‘predictable’.

        We’re living in fucked up times. Democrats are really stupid.

      • Stillhunter

        But that’s the thing. The cosmos are not in charge anymore (assuming I remember the classes). This is Mises caucus. But Dave has this thing with calling Trump a war criminal, mostly for folding on Yemen.

        For someone who worships Ron Paul, it seems strange to take this particular tack. Ron doesn’t pull punches, but he knows how to be consistent and still not piss off potential fellow travelers.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    Ya know…executing a search warrant on an ex-president would/should have the current president doing an emergency address to maybe set the narrative or at least try to head off rumors.

    • rhywun

      Imagine all the drugs they’d have to pump into Joe to get an impromptu address out of him.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’d have to pump so much Aricept and Adderall into him he’d be sniffing kids until the sun comes up.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Joe Biden says “not seeing the issue Jack! Now come rub my leg hairs and pull this chain like the bad dude you aren’t gonna trick me”

      • Lackadaisical

        I don’t believe he didn’t know (or wasn’t told…) that this was going down.

    • creech

      Georgia. Jan. 5, 2021. A Day that will live in Infamy.

  21. straffinrun

    Done reading. Feel like settin’ down on the porch and picking my teeth with a stick after reading this. Well done, Don.

  22. kinnath

    I like this guy. Excellent Rant

    • MikeS

      I’m not in the “man-child” camp, but I am friendly to the cause. As with the other(s?) you posted, he’s spot on.

    • CPRM

      I hear a hint of The Hat in his voice, and the content is very reminiscent of the last cartoon.

    • mikey

      Great stuff indeed. a lot of Ayn Rand in there.

  23. slumbrew

    I’m offline for a few hours and missed the news.

    JFC, they really want a shooting war.

    Maybe not ‘want’ – presumably they want Chinese-style soft-totalitarian control.

    But I still think there’s a line in this country.

    Raiding a former president’s house doesn’t cross it, but pushes us ever closer.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Reading more…raiding for supposed documents that the National Archive is requesting. No subpoena, court case…just straight to a raid. At least…that is what the news is hanging their hats on.

      • CPRM

        The walls are closing in!

      • slumbrew

        Insane escalation.

        It’s all so breathtakingly reckless.

  24. Chafed

    One of two AC units for the house capped out today. I shouldn’t be surprised how much it costs to replace it. Found out it was built in 1998 so I suppose it went the distance.

      • slumbrew

        Thank you, that is instantly where my brain went.

      • Chafed

        Lol 🤘

    • CPRM

      Until 2 yrs ago I was using a window AC my oldest sister bought when she moved out in 1996. I doubt the replacement I bought will last half as long.

    • CPRM

      Many Democrats have been urging Mr. Garland to be more forceful in investigating the former president’s actions; Mr. Garland has said little publicly about the probe but told reporters recently when asked about the possibility of charging a former president that “no person is above the law in this country. [Except of course Hillary Clinton and other high ranking Democratic officials]”

    • Gender Traitor

      Move is part of probe into former president’s handling of classified information

      ::thinks about HR Clinton’s server. Irony detector pegs::

      • slumbrew

        I was just reflecting on that bullshit.

        I’m getting black-pilled.

        If they don’t follow the law, why should I?

      • straffinrun

        That’s a white pill.

      • Chafed

        Exactly

      • Chafed

        I was sure we were done with that. Now I think it’s going to be back in the news.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Now it makes sense why we are all getting fingerprinted again! Actually it doesn’t, this one is pure incompetence and the inability of federal agencies sharing data. Between TSA/DHS, local metro (airport badge), USAF, and FAA, they have lost my fingerprints. Digital fingerprints….oh and ink ones that I needed to do to apply for said FAA position.

      • slumbrew

        It’s gonna be awesome when the feds are running healthcare.

      • Lackadaisical

        Did they try asking China nicely if they have them?

      • Chafed

        Maybe. I’m more inclined to think this more half baked thinking for an administration that peaks at half baked. They better have something solid to go on and find something incriminating. If they don’t, there is going to be retribution. At minimum, Team Red recaptures the House. At best they get the Senate too. Imagine Rand Paul with subpoena power.

      • slumbrew

        Imagine Rand Paul with subpoena power.

        *insert Kreiger gif here*

      • straffinrun

        The FBI doesn’t need to *find* jack squat to nail someone. Lawfare is not gonna win this fight.

      • AlexinCT

        The sad truth after this event Straff, is that it now looks your assessment is totally correct. Anyone that thinks fighting within the rules is anything but a losing strategy – the left certainly doesn’t care about the rules – is going to find themselves in whatever passes for the cancelled people’s reeducation camps,

      • Ownbestenemy

        In this case, maybe some rope-a-dope. If he has a written memo or anything really (see below that he can make up anything to consider declassified) from when he was president that changed the classification of any documents then they have nothing.

        Maybe some preservation issues with the archives…but it would take the classified portion out.

      • dbleagle

        The President is the ultimate declassification authority. He can declassify any document.

        But yeah, I am embracing the power of “and”. The Dems and deep state are that dumb and hypocritical.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Even better…according to even CNN, Trump turned over what the NA requested and this was to “make sure nothing was left”

        Following the National Archives’ recovering of White House records from Mar-a-Lago in recent months, the FBI on Monday had to verify that nothing was left behind.

      • CPRM

        They got him now!

      • MikeS

        Yup. Hillary has to be cackling with glee at how the system works as designed.

      • MikeS

        But he would have had to explicitly do so while he was President, right? Just taking boxes of papers home doesn’t do that…I assume.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The president is not “obliged to follow any procedures other than those that he himself has prescribed,”

        He could say he farted on them and that counts as declassification

      • CPRM

        Then I would assume most everything he has come in contact with is declassified, as I imagine he farts a lot. As do I, because I’m classy.

      • Lackadaisical

        Are they fucking kidding?

      • DEG

        Back when I worked for defense contractors, had I handled classified information the way she did, I’d be in jail.

    • CPRM

      If I were a better animator it would make a great cartoon:

      FADE IN

      FBI BUSTS DOWN DOOR LABELED ‘HALL OF ADVISORS’. ON DISPLAY ARE ALL THE HATS, PERCHED ON TRUMP MANIKIN HEADS.

      MAGA PRIME
      What the fuck is going on!? Don’t you know who I am!?

      USA HAT
      Am I bein detained!?

      RED USA
      Keep your fucking groomer hands off me!

      BLUE USA
      Hey der guy, dis is a bit rute.

      SPACE HAT
      In Space!

      LEAD FBI AGENT
      Clear! Just his hat collection.

      FBI AGENTS LEAVE THE ROOM.

      THE HAT
      Thath right bitheth! Run Away!

      RED USA
      Pussies.

      FADE OUT

      • Ownbestenemy

        The movie I made in my head was enough

      • MikeS

        *insert Citizen Cane applause gif*

      • Sean

        I’m not paying for that content. 😛

        You in for peppers this year?

    • MikeS

      HAHAHA. I know I’ve seen that as a kid, but naturally didn’t “get” it. Awesome.

    • Lackadaisical

      huh? What restrictions?

      I sometimes daydream about getting my old job back, and then I see the message from the gubmint that Pudding Cup’s executive order is just on a temporary stay, so that is a ‘no’.

      • UnCivilServant

        What did you used to do?

      • Lackadaisical

        I’ll tell you on our next zoom. Don’t need to make it any easier than it already is to be doxxed.

      • rhywun

        In that vein, somehow we are supposed to believe that Deblasio’s say-so that all NYC workers are required to be jabbed is still “in effect”. The new mayor is simply “choosing not to enforce it at this time”.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup. They don’t want it to be formally shot down, so they can try again when there is a ‘better’ supreme court. So they just keep it in limbo, holding it over everyone’s head like the sword of Damocles.

  25. Sean

    Mornin y’all.

      • Sean

        You’re in my timezone.

      • UnCivilServant

        Are you sure you’re not in my timezone instead?

      • Sean

        I’m older than you. I was here first.

      • UnCivilServant

        Doesn’t make it yours.

    • Lackadaisical

      I have some sympathy. I was lucky in that my environment didn’t have this concept:

      “Algebra got little of his attention, but his teachers kept giving him good grades amid a school-wide push for leniency.”

      • TARDis

        My son is also struggling despite being a ‘solid’ B student. The teachers and administrators should be in jail. They blamed it on the parents who won’t let their little Johnny or Suzie have their time occupied when they need to play sportsball instead.

      • Grosspatzer

        That sucks, I hope your son is able to get past this. The demise of public education is but one of many trends which have been accelerated by the panicdemic. See: unlivable cities, crumbling transportation infrastructure, struggling small businesses, and the list goes on. The response to COVID did not cause any of these things, but it has made them much worse, much faster.

      • TARDis

        I hope your son is able to get past this

        Thanks. I think he will, but it’s going to be a long road. His Asperger’s makes it worse. He’s like a 14 year old in a 20 year old body. Having worked in fast food the last year, it’s finally starting to dawn on him that he needs to get focused. We can guide and help, but the real effort is all his.

      • Grosspatzer

        Sounds a lot like my oldest, also an Aspy. He struggled in college, managed to graduate after nearly flunking out during a rough patch on his third year. He’s doing much better now. Takes some of us a long time to grow up.

    • DEG

      🙂

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m down with that! Meanwhile, here in OH, it’s Dolly Parton Day! Appropriately enough, she’ll be in Columbus to promote her Imagination Library early literacy program that sends books to kids!

    • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

      Those are my people.

  26. Lackadaisical

    “Rabbi Jason Rosenberg of Congregation Beth Am in Tampa is suing the state of Florida to block implementation of House Bill 5, the state’s latest restriction against abortion rights.

    Rosenberg is one of seven more Florida faith leaders are “seeking to overturn” the new law, which they call controversial.

    According to a statement sent to the press regarding the lawsuits, “the plaintiffs – representing Reform Judaism, Buddhism, the Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ, and the Unitarian Universalist Church – assert that HB 5 violates their constitutional rights of freedom of speech and free exercise of religion, the constitutional separation of Church and State, and the Florida Religious Freedom Restoration Act.””

    The worshippers of Moloch sue Florida.

    https://www.wfla.com/news/politics/tampa-rabbi-sues-state-over-15-week-abortion-ban-one-of-7-faith-leaders-in-new-lawsuits/

    • Lackadaisical

      “According to their Jewish beliefs, the lawsuit says, all human life is sacred and holy.”

      Uh… ???

      Also, don’t these guys have to wait until someone gets prosecuted? How do they even have standing?

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        It’s an Orthodox v. Reformed split. It basically comes down to who’s life is more sacred, mother or child. Basically, there is no difference between this and progressive/conservative arguments.

  27. DEG

    Mornin’ all. Off to the gym.

  28. Gender Traitor

    Good morning, DEG, Lack, Sean, rhy, and U! The heat has finally broken here – thanks to thunderstorms, which started last night. I hope there’s enough of a break for me to go the nearby Gordon Food Service to replenish break room snacks without having to unload them in the rain. (I have further incentive to get to GFS: I just used up the last of my coffee creamer! 😳)

    • UnCivilServant

      Still too warm here.

      At least the AC works.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ll try to blow some of the cooler air your way.

      • Gender Traitor

        Are you commuting or WFH today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Today is a remote day, thankfully.

    • rhywun

      Mornin’. Last day of mid-nineties here.

      Looking forward to those storms.

      • Gender Traitor

        It got noisy here shortly after I went to bed, but as far as I could tell, the strong part that showed up red on the radar just missed us to the south, doggone it!

      • Lackadaisical

        At least one more week of mid-90’s.

      • Grosspatzer

        #metoo. We hit 96 here yesterday and today ain’t looking any better.

        Texas glibs would consider this a welcome cool down.

      • Not Adahn

        This is some straight-up Houston weather bullshit. DFWers would be complaining.

      • Gender Traitor

        Does the heat at least discourage some of the drag racing outside your window?

      • rhywun

        No.

      • Gender Traitor

        😒

      • Rat on a train

        Tomorrow is the last 90+ forecast here. Then it drops to low-mid 80s and possibly a high 70s next week.

  29. robodruid

    Good Morning :
    We got 15 min of rain yesterday. Happy Dance.
    First water in 3 months.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘bodru! Thank goodness for some rain! I hope you have even more in store! Do you plant any crops or just raise the sheepies?

      • robodruid

        This has been a hard summer for sure. Our land is just grass land. But i did try to have a significant garden. That failed. Between lack of water weed, sheep munching, grasshoppers munching….. I got very little.

        I do have some seeds sprouting for the fall that i will try again.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ooh, I’d forgotten that one! So “problematic” to current “sensibilities” (more accurately, nonsensibilities,) but so good! 😄

    • TARDis

      Good morning, everybody. Speaking of rain, I had fun during the suddenly rainy commute home yesterday. Apparently both of my wiper blades got knocked loose at the car wash last weekend. After several sweeps, one of them loudly departed my vehicle. I’m glad it did not hit the car behind me.

      • Grosspatzer

        Yikes. Not the kind of “fun” one looks forward to.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, TARDy! Yikes indeed! Hope you were able to locate a car parts place to replace at least the AWOL one ASAP.

      • TARDis

        Yes ma’am, I stopped at Autozone with only a slight detour. The other blade also came off but it didn’t fly away for some reason. The good thing is I had sprung for a fresh application of Rain-X so I was able to see okay,

  30. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie! Are you out enjoying your lovely little corner of the natural world?

      • Grosspatzer

        Mornin’, GT. Vacation countdown T-3 days. Will be headed off to the golden shores of Ocean City, NJ. For all that’s wrong with NJ, we still have some mighty fine beaches. An if the NWS is to be believed,.some great weather is in the offing.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yay! I have been known to create spreadsheets to count down the days until a vacation. I do love the “=TODAY()” and “=DATEDIF” functions! Hope you do indeed have ideal atmospheric conditions at the Joisey shore!

  31. UnCivilServant

    What fucking moron designed the recent downloads list for Edge? I want to remove the file from the list, but instead it Deletes the Downloaded File and leaves it in the list.

    • Grosspatzer

      ??? I don’t suppose they provided a dialogue asking if you really wanted to delete the file?

      • UnCivilServant

        Nope, click the icon, and the entry in the list gets a strikethrough and the file is gone. To just clear the list you have to go into a submenu.

      • rhywun

        The icon says “Delete File” when I hover over it.

        But yeah, it should be easier to clear the whole list.

    • Gender Traitor

      Of all the browsers available to me at the office, Edge is the one I’ve used the least. I gather I’m not missing much.

      My usual default is Firefox, even though it’s probably not “preferred.” I think I HAVE to use Chrome to get to the timekeeping system, and I just had to switch to using Chrome to get to Office Depot’s website for supply ordering – wasn’t able to log in, and the helpful support rep and I finally determined their site didn’t love Firefox any more.

      • UnCivilServant

        I use Firefox for day to day browsing, but there are piss-poor in-house sharepoint applications that only work in certain browsers. So, for the HR work of onboarding people, I have to work with what (almost) works.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good luck with the onboarding process! With our PEO, the technical side of getting them into the payroll (etc.) system involves bouncing back and forth – they fill out an online application & “sign” release forms, I add their basic info when they show up on their first day, they fill in things like their tax withholding preferences and their part of the I-9, I finish the I-9, and they enroll in benefits. I suspect in your case, it’s much more complicated and cumbersome. 🙁

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m at the ‘Request a Background Check’ and ‘Get NDAs signed’ stage.

        The forms I have to fill out don’t have sufficient instructions for me to be confident, especially after the whole delete file/remove from list fiasco.

    • rhywun

      Right-click, “Remove from List” works for me. *shrug*

      • UnCivilServant

        But why make it easier to delete the file than remove it from the list? That’s backwards.

        As for the tooltip, it’s only seen if you’re looking for it, and by initial appearance, it didn’t seem to have the behaviour it ended up with.

  32. Atanarjuat

    But everywhere else across southern Georgia, US82 traces towns I’ve always known about. I’m calling on those factories now, new in a way but not entirely. Red clay is red clay; pines, post oaks, cedars, and sugar gum cover the land; without a map, I couldn’t prove that I wasn’t back on Papaw’s corner of section 16. You might have heard of Waycross or Albany; my truck has been at the Chevy dealership in Tifton for a month; the bridge is at Eufala AL. Not far off the track is Plains, home of Mr Carter; close by there is Americus and the carcass of the deer that took my truck out of action.

    I drive through there a lot. South Georgia is God’s country.

    Next time you’re in Eufala check out Barb’s Kountry Kitchen and try the peach cobbler.

    • Don escaped Texas

      will do

  33. Don escaped Texas

    I doubt anyone will ever notice, but I add a few remarks above 🙂