IFLA: The “Post the Scores, Dammit!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 21

by | Aug 21, 2022 | IFLA | 69 comments

Sometimes, the winner is easy to determine

The match yesterday will have been held when Mars is aligned with “home” and “speed.”  This indicates that I will have done better (writing from the past to an audience in the future about an activity that happened in the author’s future/reader’s past) (relatively speaking) than Evil Sheldon since I will have the home field advantage in shooting fast.  But that’s technically last week.  It does however raise a good question — since the stars shine on everyone, how can you tell which signs are for which person?  Sometimes you can make this determination by knowing the skies at the moment of someone’s birth or conception.  Other times, you can look at the personality traits and elemental affinities to see which planets mean what.  And of course, if there’s ambiguity, the signs refer to the person paying you to cast the horoscope in the first place — the universe hates freeloaders and reading someone else’s horoscope to a client is a no-no.

When the stick gets too chewed up, there’s always wrestling

As far as the week ahead goes, not much there until Friday, and that’s not terribly great. Thursday night/Friday morning has got a general “bad luck” thing going on. More specifically, it predicts the birth of someone who will overthrow/bring down a King.

Lily, Nala, Snoopy, Bean. Nala is one of those cannonball type dogs.

Virgo: The Chariot – Succour, providence, war, triumph, presumption, vengeance, trouble.

Libra: 10 of Coins reversed – Chance, fatality, loss, robbery, games of hazard, gift, dowry, pension.

Scorpio: 6 of Coins – Presents, gifts, gratification, earned rewards, charity.

Sagittarius: 8 of Coins – Work, employment, commission, craftsmanship, skill in craft and business.

Capricorn: 2 of Cups reversed – A vow broke, a partnership undone, agreements may not be relied upon.

Aquarius: The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, tenacity, mystery, wisdom, science. 

Pisces: 10 of Cups – Contentment, repose of the entire heart; the perfection of that state, perfection of human love and friendship, The High Priestess will be looking out for your interests.

Aries: 6 of Cups reversed – The future, renewal, that which will come to pass presently.

Taurus: The Tower reversed – Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin, unforeseen catastrophe, oppression, imprisonment, tyranny.

Gemini: King of Wands – Dark man, friendly, countryman, generally married, honest and conscientious.

Cancer: 8 of Wands – Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste, great hope, new love.

Leo: Queen of Cups – Gift of vision; success, happiness, pleasure, wisdom, virtue.

Lily with a ball. Oh, and Marley

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

69 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    the birth of someone who will overthrow/bring down a King

    “In this evening’s production, the role of Herod will be played by…”

  2. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: 6 of Coins – Presents, gifts, gratification, earned rewards, charity.

    Depending upon which way these are flowing, I’ll take it! (Either way would probably be OK.)

  3. Not Adahn

    I have to say that last week’s prediction about yesterday came true.

    • Sean

      Is that good or bad?

      • Not Adahn

        It was a perfect monkey’s paw. I did better than ES — I got DQ’d later in the match than he did.

  4. Not Adahn

    Observation: The more people get to know Lily, the friendlier they are to me.

  5. Not Adahn

    Evil Sheldon is a good guy. He gave me excellent stage plans, more than one of which I used.

    The difference between Glibs and Antifa: the two of us spent several hours out in the heat while armed and neither of us even attempted to shoot the other.

    • Rat on a train

      Did you get in some looting?

    • EvilSheldon

      We did attempt to shoot a bunch of other stuff, though. It was a blast. I’m actively looking for excuses to return next spring.

      • Not Adahn

        We succeeded too. I don’t think I left an unshot target (I had way too many mikes, but no 2Ms. )

      • Not Adahn

        Holy shit, I thought 9 mikes was unbelievably bad. There’s an open major guy with 38 of them. B class, something must have happened. Another 38, U class open. And lots of people in the double-digits.

      • EvilSheldon

        Tell me your gun took a dump without saying “My gun took a dump.”

  6. R C Dean

    β€œMore specifically, it predicts the birth of someone who will overthrow/bring down a King.”

    The bad luck is we have to wait for them to grow up?

    • Not Adahn

      Yup.

  7. Grosspatzer

    Gemini: King of Wands – Dark man, friendly, countryman, generally married, honest and conscientious.

    Does this mean I lose my white privilege?

    • hayeksplosives

      Or get a nice tan?

      • rhywun

        I’ve been promised a dark man a few times and it never came true. 😠

      • Grosspatzer

        Or get a nice tan?

        Ackshually, just got back from a week at the Joisy Shore, so not too shabby. I can probably pass for Puerto Rican now.

  8. Tonio

    Shout out to NA for his embedding without editorial assistance!

    But you two should have “shot” each other with your cameras and turned in a photo essay.

  9. rhywun

    Food shopping roundup of damage:

    – Good cheese is insane
    – One brand of brown eggs on sale – everything else insane
    – Beef – down from insane heights
    – Coffee still insane, no sales on anything I like
    – Pillsbury dough boy pizza crust – 5 bucks and change AYFKM
    – No bagels, no cottage cheese

    I think what they’re trying to tell me is “eat more beef”.

    • Not Adahn

      Pork is less than a third the price of beef here.

      • rhywun

        Sadly, I’m not terribly keen on pork that isn’t in bacon or ham form – so I didn’t even look.

      • Not Adahn

        I found a pretty good sauce for pork stir fried with cabbage:

        ratio of 3:2:0.5 soy suce:ketchup:vinegar, then add pepper/ginger/etc as desired.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I wen to the local farmers market at the wife’s insistence and the usual high prices were even more insane. Inflation is only part of it I think, the farmers market org built a building (both ugly and inadequate) so they’re burdened by costs even as they got sweetheart deals from the city and county (unavailable to other grocery stores). Not seeing as many actual vendors as in the past and have been replaced with a bunch of artisan or even advocacy groups. The city set up poster boards for “This IS Kalapuya Lands” as if it were some sort of historical exhibit rather than a multi year racist political campaign (exact phrasing including capitalization is the tell).

      • rhywun

        Yesterday I was reading about the Arctic and how what Canada calls “First Nations” are often the third or fourth unrelated people to have lived in said area. πŸ™„

      • dbleagle

        There are no first nations despite tribal lore. Pre and post European contact the tribes fought each other, just like in the rest of the world.

        There is an entire genre of tribal histories that are not spoken about or actively suppressed. Late Anasazi cannibalism? “Can’t speak about that since it couldn’t be true.” After the Pueblo Revolt the Hopis wiping out every man, woman, child, and animal from one city for being too Spanish influenced? “Hey, look at these pots for sale!” The deep and ongoing hate between the Apache and the other AZ tribes they raided for centuries? “Buy some authentic Papago buffalo jerky.”

        The various tribal societies frequently hated each other. See Crows acting as scouts for the 7th Cavalry against the Sioux. Hell, frequently they didn’t like other bands of the same tribe. See Apache Scouts assisting MG Crook to fight other Apaches.

        (The joke is there is no such thing as authentic Papago beef jerky. They had no idea buffalo even existed.)

    • Sean

      β¬…
      Eat more steak.

  10. Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

    I see that Aquarius is the only one not highlighted.

    Racist! I can’t even with this.

  11. Not Adahn

    My diner. I’m not always sure where they get their ideas, but at least they’re creative. Today’s breakfast special:

    https://www.glibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/breakfast-082122-scaled.jpg

    Oversized baked potato stuffed with creamed spinach and bacon. Cheese on top then under the broiler. And since corn’s in season, put an ear of that on the plate. Oh yeah, it’s a breakfast special, better have a piece of toast too.

    • Gender Traitor

      I have, in the past, rationalized that potato chips are essentially extra thin and crispy home fries and therefore part of a balanced breakfast.

    • ruodberht

      No scrapple? FAIL.

    • westernsloper

      If there is no eggs it is not breakfast.

      • Not Adahn

        oh yeah, there were scrambled eggs in it.

  12. Mojeaux

    Taurus: The Tower reversed – Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin, unforeseen catastrophe, oppression, imprisonment, tyranny.

    Hey hey hey, we’re on a roll!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Is the truck fixable?

      • Gender Traitor

        Apparently, one critical factor may be the availability of parts. πŸ™

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Sorry to hear that. Must have missed that info.

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t mean Moje’s truck specifically – just in general. Some makes/models may not even have parts being manufactured right now.

      • Mojeaux

        My truck is fine.

        If you mean one of my 3 Sonatas, the main one is still crunched.

  13. Not Adahn

    From the AM links:

    A 2020 report from OpenTheBooks, titled β€œThe Militarization of the U.S. Executive Agencies,” shows that the IRS Criminal Investigation division has a stockpile of 4,600 guns.

    The firearms include 3,282 pistols, 621 shotguns, 539 rifles, 15 fully automatic firearms, and four revolvers, the report says.

    …why the revolvers? Are they the original four guns the IRS was authorized to carry?

    • UnCivilServant

      Why any of the weapons? An armed IRS is an atrocity.

      • Not Adahn

        Eh. They need someone to guard the room with all the paper checks that get mailed in still.

      • UnCivilServant

        Those guards should not be part of the IRS.

      • Sean

        I’m armed at work. *shrug*

      • UnCivilServant

        But is your job extorting citizens?

      • Sean

        I keep my hobbies separate from work.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I wouldn’t mind if IRS agents concealed carried their own personal weapons as long as that option is also available for every citizen they come in contact with (e.g., no more metal detectors at the entrance to government buildings and restrictions in DC or elsewhere on CCW for the unconnected).

        My issue here is that these are weapons owned by the king and given to the king’s men, while denying the same ability to the citizenry.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Or maybe my sarc meter needs adjusting.

    • Gustave Lytton

      1.4 million rounds for 539 rifles while only 3.1 million rounds for 3300 handguns. Those ratio are off unless they have plans for the long guns.

      I didn’t realize it but 80k of new employees is more than double their existing workforce. It’s being painted as just adding but they only have around 78k currently (which is already an increase).

      https://www.irs.gov/statistics/irs-budget-and-workforce

      Note how the chart selectively begins. I’m guessing that was the previous high water mark for the agency.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The firearms include 3,282 pistols, 621 shotguns, 539 rifles, 15 fully automatic firearms, and four revolvers, the report says.

    Thompsons, with drum magazines, I hope. With Elliot Ness’ gingerprints still on them.

    • Gender Traitor

      gingerprints

      I make those! πŸ‘©β€πŸ¦°

      • UnCivilServant

        Sounds like some form of cookies.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Peach or apricot jam in the middle?

      • Gender Traitor

        Why not both? (Apricot with peach “highlights?”)

      • UnCivilServant

        Now I’m convinced we need to figure out a recipe.

      • Gender Traitor

        If you can figure out the pastry part (and how best to incorporate ginger,) I’ll scout the farmers’ market for peach and apricot jam!

      • UnCivilServant

        My thought was the gingerbread spice mix. But I can’t immediately picture if it would play nice with apricot-peach.

      • Gender Traitor

        I believe the true scientific method of experimentation – including attempts to replicate favorable results – is definitely in order.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aren’t thumbprint cookies rather different in composition from gingersnaps? I’m not sure, as I haven’t baked in years, don’t have much of a sweet tooth, and am now being summoned to a Glibfit lecture. “I dunno, the bell rang.”

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve never heard of a thumbprint cookie, so I’m not sure what they are.

        As for ginger*, I’d picked gingerbread instead of snaps because of a preference for soft cookies over hard.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Sandies with jam in t’ middle.

  15. juris imprudent

    The future, renewal, that which will come to pass presently.

    Interesting, I can see that in several ways, a few of which aren’t too bad.