Pens. There’s a lot of pens. Ow. My neck. My neck hurts. Why does my neck hurt? Pen. There’s a pen in my hand. I guess I’m supposed to sign something. There are so many people. The lights are hot. I was just at the beach, wasn’t I?
“Sign the paper in front of you,” a voice says in my ear.
“Who is this?” I mutter. “Neilia? Is that you?”
“Please don’t raise your voice.”
“What?”
The voice in my ear makes a noise. A sigh. I figured it out. It’s called a sigh. The lights are hot. I was just at the beach, wasn’t I? I remember a dog. Champ. Where’s Champ?
“Where’s Champ?” I ask.
“Champ’s not important right now,” the voice says. “You can see him later.”
“I don’t like this sort of malarkey,” I say.
“Please just sign the bill in front of you.”
“Bill. Is this a restaurant?”
“You are signing a bill into law.”
“What’s the total? I don’t even see a place to write in a tip.”
“Please just sign it.”
J. O. E. I think the next one is a B.
“OK, now just put the pen down.”
Pen. Pen. Pen. Pen is a funny word. People are clapping. It is loud. Oh, it’s that one guy. I hand him the pen. People are still clapping. I must have done a good job. Smile. I’ll smile. People love it when I smile. Smile. Smile is a funny word.
“OK, put on your mask and stand up.”
Mask. I must be a superhero. Clapping. Still clapping. I’ll shake hands. People like it when you shake hands. Wasn’t I just on the beach? I miss the beach. Shaking hands, shaking hands, shaking hands. Smile under the mask.
Chuck’s earpiece crackles to life. “Do it, we’re losing him.”
“Do it?” Chuck asks.
Finnegan hisses in his ear. He fumbles the autoinjector from his suit pocket and stabs Joe discreetly in the thigh.
Dammit, if you’re going to try and make me feel sympathy for any of these, it needs to be Astrid!
When are we going to get to see Finnegan naked?
Hunter, is that you?
“Hunter, I am your father”.
Finnegan as Hunter’s real father?
Most fucked thing about the family or not? GO!
I should’ve been more explicit, I was riffing on OMWC being Hunter’s father.
I so wish my son was that cool.
Can’t even get competent Secret Service these days.
That is Shumer.
Mrs. Dean showed me the video yesterday. Joe walks in with a mask on, takes it off, coughs into his right hand, signs the bill, and then shakes hands with a bunch of people.
L O L
Wow, right after the 10 minute mark.
One day that might not be fiction.
SugarFree? Nah, never heard of him. Maybe some new kind of cereal.
“One day?” I think we’re already there.
I imagined him putting the mask over his eyes.
“Where are the eye-holes?”
*sigh*
We’re fucked.
Yeah, you get the palpable sense that Schumer and Pelosi know how badly this will fuck over ordinary people, and are enjoying it. “The Washington Post March” that starts playing after he signs it just twists the knife.
The Liberty Bell March would seem more appropriate.
Or something like this?
This?
https://www.dhr.history.vt.edu/modules/eu/mod03_1917/songs/You_Fell_Victim.mp3
“Yeah, you get the palpable sense that Schumer and Pelosi know how badly this will fuck over ordinary people, and are enjoying it.”
Schumer’s oleaginous smirk says you’re right/
We’ve always been fucked. Just take comfort in the fact that the peasants have to get hungry, before the revolt…
Says you. I’m pretty sure some of that filthy tax lucre is coming my way.
Thank you all for buying me steaks.
I bet, pre-dementia, that Joe was a lousy tipper.
I’d bet he tipped 30%. It was all expensed.
I’d sooner believe $0.30
Pols are more than happy to spend other people’s money. I find it hard to believe Joe has ever spent a nickel of his own money on a restaurant meal.
Sure they’ll buy all the extras and pricy foods, but that doesn’t change personality type when deciding on gratuity.
UCS gets it.
Now everybody stare at the paper and smile like a fool.
I must be a superhero.
I guess it all depends on who you define the word “superhero”.
I never really understood what they sign. Wouldn’t the actual bill be like a stack of encyclopedias?
A cool rule would be forcing him to sign every page of it.
At least initial it, like they do on every real contract.
“Contract On America”
“Contracted by America”
“A Pox on America”
A Monkeypox on America?
“And initial here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here…”
It’s a formality which has become a photo op. The pen used to sign the bill becomes an object of value and is often gifted as a souvenir to loyal supporters, or those who benefit from the bill.
And Joe made sure to give the pen to America’s Brutus, Joe Manchin.
Yes. And if you look, there are five or six pens. The usual procedure is to sign with all of them so they all get a pen that “signed the bill.” But Biden forgets and only uses one.
The real value is in the NFT of the pen.
https://twitter.com/the_abject/status/1559893209542565888?s=20&t=niOBODO1fFoqAo2y9XRjxA
My tweet after I watched that video:
Maybe after the midterms when Kamala can serve ten years as president.
Yeah, but the 25th would only give us the cackler as POTUS, with probably Buttigieg as her VP.
At least we can have the historic moment of first female president (black too!) and get it over with.
This is darker than all the past writings about sex with prolapsed anuses and whatnot
Yes, I feel very dark and hollow after reading it.
That assemblage looks like Madame Toussaud’s Waxwork House of Horrors.
And then… Holy shit. The guy (Markey? Who knows/cares?) wipes his hands on the front of his coat after he touches Joe. Excellent.
I don’t think that’s Frosty (the only real job Ed Markey ever had was selling ice cream).
All brought to you by the guy with enough money to buy “independent” Joe Manchin.
Bill has a lot of souvenir pens by now.
“Contract On America”
Nice.
He does better with the aviator sunglasses so the blown out eyes don’t show.
I shuddered seeing that.
This is just sad. Not Dementia Joe (because fuck him), but these cuntes congratulating themselves as they run the country off the cliff.
Atropine! Not just for nerve agent anymore!
Yeah, but the 25th would only give us the cackler as POTUS, with probably Buttigieg as her VP.
*makes motorboat noise, falls down stairs*
https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/comments/wq7rl5/saw_this_at_an_antique_store_in_new_york/
Heh.
Yeah, you get the palpable sense that Schumer and Pelosi know how badly this will fuck over ordinary people, and are enjoying it. “The Washington Post March” that starts playing after he signs it just twists the knife.
They should have used this
Another triumph, SugarFree.
Thank you, thank you. [hands R.J. a pen.]
I think the only line that could’ve been added was Joe thinking “damn mask, I can’t sniff any of their hair”.
Imagine the smell of Schumer, the stench of the mold that grows under his moobs rising from his flopsweat collar.
*barf*
Dammit! Now the comments section is unsafe at lunch time, too!
No where is safe.
*evil laugh*
“Oh blessed COVID for taking my sense of smell”.
From Russia with love. Death dogs sourced from China.
https://www.theregister.com/2022/08/17/russia_weaponizes_chinese_drones_robots/
I understand that this is not a viable weapon system at this moment, but the robot tapping it’s legs while it shoots is freighting. It reminds me of the Screamers short story by PKD or the movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrzf7LY1EzI
Loving the canine ninja suit.
Not the Metalhead episode of Black Mirror?
That’s what I always think of when I see these robots.
That as well. It is more on the nose as they based it on the Boston Dynamics dog.
In normal times getting these bills done would be a huge achievement. But to do it now with only 50 Democratic votes in the Senate over an intransigent Republican minority is nothing short of amazing. I shows how dedicated and persistent our caucus is. – Schmoobs
“We will force through legislation even if it takes the VP to break the tie because democracy.”
“We will force through legislation until we can discard any pretense of being a constitutional republic.”
I’m really trying to get through the whole video of this bs ceremony but these dishonest, sanctimonious cuntes are damaging my calm.
If masks work…nevermind, what’s the point in even trying to point out how absurd it it anymore.
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/08/armless-man-stabs-tourist-florida-police.html
Oh Florida…you so crazy.
If he’s armless what exactly did he stab them with???
A lot of people who are armless get very good at using their feet to substitute for hands (albeit imperfectly)
https://www.flyingmag.com/flying-by-with-limb-loss/
Jessica Cox is a very impressive example.
Good grief people – Florida Man, the set up was he stabbed them with his dick!
My mind did not go anywhere near there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC_6lIbklc0 She’s building Van’s RV-10 kit airplane (same model I’m building) that she’s modifying to be flown 100% with feet.
A Stilletto Heel?
FTA:
Scissors, apparently.
Though I wonder how he managed to punch the victim first…
A pair of scissors, apparently.
Seriously, he was holding the scissors in his feet. Apparently he also ‘punched’ the victim first. I had always thought that punching with your feet is called ‘kicking,’ but I didn’t go to Columbia, so what do I know?
I say there is no way they convict him – no fingerprints tying him to the crime.
He was clearly unarmed at the time.
Well, you’ve got to hand it to him.
You have a very disarming sense of humor.
I try to keep my finger on the pulse of the audience.
…Democrats sided with the American people and every single Republican in the congress sided with the special interest in this vote. Every single one.
“US vs. THEM”
I, for one, am glad that we are experiencing unity and healing. I mean, it’s not like the Dems are waging an actual war on
the Republican partyanyone who dissents or anything.Sex between men, not skin contact, is fueling monkeypox, new research suggests
The claim that skin-to-skin contact during sex between men, not intercourse itself, drives most monkeypox transmission is likely backward, a growing group of experts say.
This can’t be true . . . . . .
Count Potato hardest hit.
So the latex gimp suit isn’t actually helping? God dammit…
It’s in the jizz.
Well, penile epithelium contacting rectal mucosa is a type of skin-to-skin contact…
Not surprised.
Unrelated, I was debating doing a writeup of how the Civil Service system ends up selecting medicore to poor decision-makers for managerial roles in agencies. It’s been on my mind lately because of work-related stuff, but am unsure if the general “Yes, please” attitude towards article content still applies if I get into the weeds of how people get hired and promoted in the bureaucracy.
Consider it intelligence gathering . . . .
Yes.
All right. I’ll write something up regarding the contributing factors of how the system works.
Do you have Office Space-type stories about it?
This is the worst POV I’ve ever mastur… erm… seen.
I’ve spent most of my life livin’ in a Firsta’s paradise.
If it’s Joemala, you know it’s gotta be Ass Wednesday.
https://archive.ph/VeCKM
Jessica says hey.
Instead of being default opted-in to the mass culture, I hang out with you band of degenerates and miscreants. Ergo: I can stare and her T&A without needing to experience the existential despair said T&A is designed to offset.
WIN!
But wait!
There’s more!
(This is seriously impressive, as well as some solid T&A)
Music.
Just reading a CNN “explainer” about how Liz Cheney lost Wyoming. Because Trump.
If Trump decided to quietly retire and go away, they would have nothing to write about.
The articles from last night were some of the greatest tongue baths ever on her greatness, grace and tenacity.
As always…great late morning reading material.
On another note – FAA is broke. No parts ordering, no purchase card order, no nothing. Make do with what we have on hand to keep systems and services up and running. Stay safe flying out there
FAA didn’t have lobbyists in Congress begging for some of that filthy Inflation Reduction Act lucre?
No its all tied up in the BIL for new infrastructure….and we are dropping $40 million into cleaning 24/7 and after each ‘covid’ at work….
Can we claw back some of that Ukraine money?
And how long is this going to last? Fiscal year?
::vows to keep 39-year no-commercial-air-travel streak alive (watching Air Disasters also helps)::
Meh, I fly next week – or at least that’s the plan, then back in two weeks.
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/delays-of-2-hours-possible-at-all-3-nyc-area-airports-due-to-staff-availability-faa/3825493/
Sure – why not. Gotta send weapons to the Ukraine and pay to make energy unreliable.
Maybe they can borrow some of the 87,000 new IRS agents to do some ramp checks.
I’m now old enough to be the old guy in the room who can harken back to the days when a president who said no new taxes lost his election because he was accused of passing a new tax.
Not only that, but who was months earlier considered invincible because of his high ratings after a certain military operation.
Yup. I was too young at the point to really put the pieces together. I assume he caved on the taxes because he thought he was so popular he would be forgiven for “doing the right thing” to get the US out of its debt problem.
According Ed Rollins, Bush never intended to keep that promise and seemed surprised when people expected him to not raise taxes. Bush actually asked Rollins how long he needed to wait before raising taxes.
Probably true. He really didn’t understand how important it was to his support from the base. He wasn’t very popular, and people were very unenthusiastic about him. When he broke the promise, people felt betrayed over the one main issue that made them want to vote for him.
Bush I might have won a second term if Perot hadn’t taken 19% of the popular vote. I think the polls showed he took more votes from Bush that Clinton.
I voted for Perot in that election–it was the first one in which I was eligible to vote, and I wouldn’t say Perot “took” my vote from anyone.
It was intended as more of a “fuck the status quo” than anything else, as I imagine his candidacy itself was.
Perot collected votes from four groups:
1) people that would not have voted if he wasn’t on the ballot
2) people that would have voted minor/fringe party if he wasn’t on the ballot
3) people that would have voted for Bush if he wasn’t on the ballot
4) people that would have voted for Clinton if he wasn’t on the ballot
I think Bush would have won if Perot wasn’t on the ballot.
I considered voting for Perot, but chose party-building instead (another wasted vote on the Libertarian candidate).
I think you’re right that, absent Perot, Bush would have won that election. I was just saying that I wasn’t in group 3) or 4). I might have sat out, although I was flush with the enthusiasm of youth and the starry-eyed belief that my vote is useful in any way other than as a finger in the eye. There was no way I was voting for Clinton, though. Did Buchanan run in that election?
Bush’s betrayal opened the door for Perot. If I hadn’t voted for Perot, I probably wouldn’t have voted for anyone (or even a Libertarian).
Correction. He said, “No nude Texans.”
Good news people!
TW – CNN
CDC announces sweeping reorganization, aimed at changing the agency’s culture and restoring public trust
https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/17/health/cdc-announces-sweeping-changes/index.html
Is that a tacit admission that they are no longer trusted?
Does this reorganization include massive layoffs and the removal of the decision makers who ran the agency into the ground?
Droll, UnCiv. Very droll.
Normal people would think that. But my guess is they’ll try to go after “misinformation”. Because in 2022, the problem is not the bad things someone does, it’s the people who point out those bad things.
Your own experience in government should tell you they’ll get promotions
Nobody gets promotions except to backfill.
Exactly. More incompetence, not less.
Promotions create a vacuum that sucks up the least competent from the next level down.
Just window dressing, everything will continue as before.
In case your black pills aren’t working, consider this:
After having jammed this abomination through, with elections pending, you have to wonder what the Dems will do during the lame duck session after the elections. Last bite at the apple, and all that.
You are assuming Team Red doesn’t do what it usually does and wind up losing where it should win.
You’re far more optimistic than me. It’s gonna be a tsunami of cheating. A repeat of 2020, and a practice run for 2024.
https://media.makeameme.org/created/ballots-ballots-everywhere.jpg
It is far from the last bite. Very far. Team red has just barely overcome the dems. The abortion ruling just about killed any lead they had, no matter what you thought of the ruling. Senate campaigns are going to be hard – and the Senate is where bills and laws go to die if the opposition party has control. Do not think for a moment that the repubs have a great lead. They do not.
A state representative I know is actually campaigning, unlike many Republicans in NH. She is going door-to-door canvassing. She says Republicans she has talked to are very worried about Republicans going too far on abortion. True, these are NH Republicans so less religious than Republicans elsewhere, but I suspect these aren’t the only Republicans thinking this way.
Agreed.
The abortion ruling just about killed any lead they had,
The polls (for what those are worth) indicated it didn’t move the needle much either way.
I’d say the Repubs are unlikely to take the Senate – I just don’t see them running the table like they would need to, given the way the election is set up this year.
I still give them good odds of taking the House. Which would mean one chamber is in the hands of the opposition party, which might help stop some egregiously bad bills.
But keep in mind – our real rulers aren’t in the legislature or even the White House. They are in the agencies.
Yes. And it seems like all this “new world order” shit started under Bush 1 and continues, ad infinitum regardless if party. I guess I just have reached the point of pathos, where it doesn’t matter whether red or blue does the fuckening. The fuckening will happen anyway.
👆👆👆
Where, despite what the Constitution says about executive authority vested in the president, they are immune to presidential power.
For those outside the mid-Atlantic area. I hadn’t thought about this in years.
Kids-for-cash judges ordered to pay more than $200M
https://apnews.com/article/crime-trending-news-government-and-politics-6f30f575dc739415af1e5b47b1be50f0
Rather pointless as they don’t have this to pay. That said all involved are outright evil.
I found that amusing.
Sarc: Makes me proud.
Those assholes ruined a lot of lives. I don’t know how they are still on this side of the prison floor. I imagine one of the fruits of their work must share their institution.
Conahan, 70, was sentenced to more than 17 years in prison but was released to home confinement in 2020 — with six years left on his sentence — because of the coronavirus pandemic.
They should have been strung up and their skulls mounted in the courthouse as a reminder to what happens to those who betray the public trust.
Well, the pandemic is over. Shouldn’t he be back in jail?
I read that as “Kars for Kids” and thought, “Oh God, not them again.”
Not quite as evil.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/17/investing/target-earnings/index.html
Everything is fine.
Holy shit.
Down 3%. So the not appreciably worse than the “whisper number”.
“Joe Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act “Secretly” Brought To You By Bill Gates”
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/joe-bidens-inflation-reduction-act-secretly-brought-you-bill-gates
Damnit, why couldn’t he have just been made happy by releasing shitty software and banging kids (allegedly of course)?
Ego
The dude who made a fortune by buying IBM’s code and then stealing everybody else’s thinks he’s a genius here to save the world.
I hate to interrupt this week’s dose of perversity with divinity, but here for a shiver.
Okay, yeah, it brought me to tears. Shut up.
Beautiful! Best of all, she looked and sounded as if she was having so much fun! 😃🎶👏
Yes, but bonus! I adore Handel and baroque in general, and Messiah in specific (which is whence that aria came).
I remember! 😉
My pirate queen couldn’t rise above the chorus, though, remember. 😉
I listen to a SiriusXM show by this name on Saturday mornings. Probably not the same, but may be of interest: https://m.youtube.com/c/baroqueandbeyond
Wow, she can bring it, thanks Mo!
I don’t normally like opera at all, all that warbling and whatnot, but I love Messiah and for some reason, this woman’s voice fits my ears perfectly.
I crank up Verdi when I’m cooking a big batch of spaghetti sauce, which takes hours.
I also love the flower duet from Lakme.
https://youtu.be/C1ZL5AxmK_A
Not opera: My go-to when I want to keep track of my time is the Rach 3. It’s roughly 45 minutes long. I can get things done in “2 Rachs” or “4 Rachs” or whatever. Total unit of measurement.
What do you mean? She’s plenty hot!
(Beautiful performance!)
That was a joy to listen to, and seeing her unbridled enthusiasm and enjoyment of performing it as well was a bonus!
Sigh… I’m willing to bet more people use this to cure meat than kill themselves. Expect the pseudoephedrine ID + 3rd degree treatment in 3,2,1…
“There’s an argument that it’s a slippery slope to restrict sales of something that is legal just because some people are using it to kill themselves,” Dr. Pires told The New York Times in February. But the doctor added that just a small number of hobbyists use the chemical to cure meat, while a growing number of young people are using it to take their own life.
‘Empire’ Actress’ Sodium Nitrite Suicide Is Part of a Disturbing Trend
https://www.thedailybeast.com/empire-actress-lindsey-pearlman-sodium-nitrite-suicide-is-part-of-a-disturbing-trend
Fuck you. Worry about ‘why’ and then ‘how’ becomes moot.
Oh good Lord. I just bought a huge bottle of it to do a post on making beef jerky at home. Should I also include suicide instructions?
Nah, we talked about it. Helium is better anyway.
Cure away!
People will just go back to the good old hose on the tailpipe.
Enough about monkeypox.
This is the REAL reason the government wants to get rid of gasoline vehicles—for our own protection!!
Heh, publicizing it will surely bring down the inappropriate usage.
Orders of magnitude more. It’s a regular ingredient in jerky recipes.
Mark Steyn on the unseriousness of America, particularly in defense matters:
https://www.steynonline.com/12726/dead-superpower-walking
This photo of Biden is particularly pathetic. Is this someone’s idea of Joe looking strong?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/world-news/2021/08/16/TELEMMGLPICT000268205128_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqDAoCN0zt2fIWNcwvVaupU4MgS4Zd_nvCtxOLqYKfDhI.jpeg?imwidth=680
Love the SF humor and darkness but JFC why did you make me watch that?