Daily Stoic Week 38

by | Sep 16, 2022 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 88 comments

Daily Stoic Week 37

The Daily Stoic

The Practicing Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

 

September 17

“What if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will see to it that I won’t be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that. But I will see to it that I’m kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater where they went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.13

I don’t care what people think of me. In school, I tried to be popular and went to parties with “the cool kids”. I learned pretty quickly I did not fit in with them and a few of them actively disliked me. That bothered me for awhile until I started to find real friends that actually liked me. These days, whether other people like me or not is not a consideration. I don’t go out of my way to be an asshole, but if I get asked a question, I will answer it.

 

September 18

“Whenever you suffer pain, keep in mind that it’s nothing to be ashamed of and that it can’t degrade your guiding intelligence, nor keep it from acting rationally and for the common good. And in most cases you should be helped by the saying of Epicurus, that pain is never unbearable or unending, so you can remember these limits and not add to them in your imagination. Remember too that many common annoyances are pain in disguise, such as sleepiness, fever and loss of appetite. When they start to get you
down, tell yourself you are giving in to pain.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.64

I am usually pretty good at dealing with pain. The worst now are recurring sinus headaches. I rinse my nose daily with flonase and cetrizine. As long as I do this, they aren’t bad. Sometimes I forget because it works so well. Also, not sleeping enough exacerbates them. Those days are rough, but I am much better at dealing with the pain internally and not bothering my wife with them. No matter how hard I try, she instantly can tell if I have a headache.

 

September 19

“Remember that to change your mind and to follow someone’s correction are consistent with a free will. For the action is yours alone—to fulfill its purpose in keeping with your impulse and judgment, and yes, with your intelligence.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.16

It is important to me to be right. I don’t mean whatever I say is right, but that what I believe has to be correct. I really try to not lie to myself and be open to the possibility I could be wrong. I used to be a conservative law and order type, which is odd, because before I got married, I was a pretty heavy weed smoker. I have since changed my views on the police and our warfare state. I have trouble dealing with people that can look at evidence and ignore it because it goes against their team.

 

September 20

“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.61

Life is a struggle and there is no guarantee that I will always be successful. It is important to be ready for setbacks, whether physical or financial. When I am prepared for an emergency, it is no longer an emergency. If I am unprepared for anything, everything is an emergency.

 

September 21

“When forced, as it seems, by circumstances into utter confusion, get a hold of yourself quickly. Don’t be locked out of the rhythm any longer than necessary. You’ll be able to keep the beat if you are constantly returning to it.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.11

Life has really thrown me  a few curve balls over the last few years. I could have kept on the path I was on when the evil/stupid took over. For the most part, I have gotten a hold of myself within the last year and a half. I have become much more able to deal with problems, anything from my wife’s car blowing an engine to waiting for food when I’m hungry and have a headache. Having the knowledge and ability to control my reactions when I can’t control what is causing the reaction makes life much less stressful for me and my wife.

 

September 22

“Difficulties show a person’s character. So when a challenge confronts you, remember that God is matching you with a younger sparring partner, as would a physical trainer. Why? Becoming an Olympian takes sweat! I think no one has a better challenge than yours, if only you would use it like an athlete would that younger sparring partner.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.24.

Like training for combat or my fitness tests in the Marine Corps, training for life is not easy. I have learned to treat challenges as training opportunities. That has been a bit of a struggle this week. Sunday-Tuesday, I was unable to sleep more than 3 hours a night and I’m not sure why. Wednesday it was difficult to think straight. I also got unreasonably angry at stupid little things. I managed to correct myself, something I would have been unable to do last year.

 

September 23

“Remember that your ruling reason becomes unconquerable when it rallies and relies on itself, so that it won’t do anything contrary to its own will, even if its position is irrational. How much more
unconquerable if its judgments are careful and made rationally? Therefore, the mind freed from passions is an impenetrable fortress—a person has no more secure place of refuge for all time.
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.48

If I am inflexible in my beliefs, I will never improve. It is too easy to convince myself of things I agree with. It is also very easy to double down on being wrong if I am invested in being right. If I make decisions rationally and not emotionally, it is easier to change course and admit I was wrong.

 

Music this week is Flotsam and Jetsam. Before  Jason Newsted left them, I didn’t like them too much. After he left the new bass player took over writing songs and their production there was a huge improvement.

 

I live You Die

Suffer the Masses

October Thorns

Their singer has a very unique voice and they have a lot of good music, but those 2 albums are my favorite. I saw them in concert about 20 years ago(damn I feel old) opening for a Dream Theater/Queensryche co-headliner tour and they were very good.

 

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

88 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    More like wrestling than dancing – now that made me laugh.

    • R.J.

      And it is so true.

  2. Fatty Bolger

    Huh. Epictetus said something sensible for once. Go figure.

    • Plisade

      StoiScism

  3. Mojeaux

    What if someone despises me? Let them see to it.

    “What someone thinks of me is none of my business.” –Ru Paul? Dolly Parton? Dorothy Parker? Eleanor Roosevelt? Who knows.

    I wanted to hang with the cool kids, but I didn’t want to do the things cool kids did, and my interests won out over my desire to be with the cool kids.

    training for life

    We’ve been trying to train our son for life, but he thought he already knew how, and then…he learned otherwise. I am afraid he’s going to be gunshy about it now and hang on to us longer than he should.

    As for me, I am older now than my dad was when he died, and I have come to believe that I am better prepared for life’s vagaries than he was at his age. But if we’re being honest, my mom was the brains of that operation, and she did very well with what she was given to work with.

    admit I was wrong

    One thing my dad didn’t do, that drove me absolutely bonkers, was admit he was wrong or that he didn’t know something. I vowed I would admit to my children when I was wrong and that I would tell them when I didn’t know something. I did that. I will admit that having Google makes this vow a whole lot easier. “Go ask Google.”

    What I have found is that admitting you’re wrong makes your life easier in a myriad of ways, and I’m all about making my life easier.

  4. DEG

    “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.”

    Thinking about floorcraft or the lack thereof at many Swing dances I’ve been to, I shook my head at this. I guess they aren’t attacks like in wrestling, but they are sometimes unexpected and can result in injury.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Also, I’m guessing ‘ol Marcus never found himself in the center of a mosh pit.

      • Ozymandias

        Oh, I’m gonna guess ol’ Marcus wrassled with a few oily men in his day.
        He knows…

  5. Gender Traitor

    When I am prepared for an emergency, it is no longer an emergency. If I am unprepared for anything, everything is an emergency.

    “Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens.” – Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

    • Plisade

      “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”

  6. The Late P Brooks

    “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.”

    Purely a reflection of my own egotism, but this sounds more rational than the stuff which boils down to “You can’t fight City Hall.”

    • R C Dean

      Well, you can fight it. Just don’t expect to win much.

      • Ozymandias

        Speaking of which…

        Marine Corps (and Navy both) reverse policies of shitting on those who seek exemptions.

        It’s not exactly a “win,” but the services all appear to have gotten the message that actively targeting religious folks wasn’t well-received in the courts.
        4/6 services are currently enjoined (Navy, Marines, and Air & Space Force) and we’ve got a Coast Guard case pending in TX. I also have a case that has no RFRA claims in E.D. Tx.

        Nothing major in those yet, but sometimes you may not be able to beat City Hall, you can at least try to help or save a few people who want and need it. That’s its own kid of victory.

      • robodruid

        As a civilian drone, the lack of any response to RE/ME’s has been surreal.
        No news coverage of circuit court hearing may be telling. Any opinions you would like to share?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I also have a case that has no RFRA claims in E.D. Tx.

        If you happen to be in town for the case at any point, email me and we can grab lunch.

  7. Grumbletarian

    I don’t care what people think of me. In school, I tried to be popular and went to parties with “the cool kids”. I learned pretty quickly I did not fit in with them and a few of them actively disliked me. That bothered me for awhile until I started to find real friends that actually liked me. These days, whether other people like me or not is not a consideration. I don’t go out of my way to be an asshole, but if I get asked a question, I will answer it.

    Sort of the opposite way to the same end for me. My father was USAF for 22 years, so I grew up moving every 2-3 years until 10th grade. Between physical moves and changing of school districts, I went to 9 different schools between kindergarten and graduation, with 10th-12th grade managing to be in the same school. I was also small for my age and very nearsighted, so had to wear rather thick glasses until contact lenses became a thing.

    When you’re perpetually the small, four-eyed, new kid at school, you learn to not care what others think pretty fast or you find yourself hanging from a shower rod.

  8. creech

    As a life long saver of 10% (most of the time) of my income, it has come far less stressful to deal with financial emergencies. Probably did miss out on doing some things or going some places because “I didn’t have the extra cash” but not having to worry in retirement (at least about money lasting until they close the lid) is great.

    • PieInTheSky

      . Probably did miss out on doing some things – and some people presumably

  9. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    I’ve always had a deep-seated dislike & mistrust of ingroups, cabals, and cliques. I think that has made me not much care what others think of me.

    But there are exceptions, and important ones: I deeply care about what my bosses think of me (work-related only – IDGAF what they think of my personal life); my dad, of course; and a few close friends. All their opinions matter to me in different ways.

    • Ozymandias

      I have a different lens for close circle friends, family, etc – people whose opinions I value and actively seek out…
      Because they’ve been vetted over time and shown themselves to be invaluable when I was wrong.
      And it isn’t simply that they were correct and I was incorrect; I could get that from a book (in some cases).
      It’s how they handled both me and themselves with that superior knowledge/insight before, during, and after.
      Their opinion matters because they’ve earned the right to my attention – a genuine deep pause and consideration of what they’re saying.
      My obligation is to try to be as good as they were when the hat’s on the other head.

      • Sensei

        That’s a good observation. I’ve never analyzed it specifically, but I think I tend to do the same.

    • PieInTheSky

      I’ve always had a deep-seated dislike & mistrust of ingroups, cabals, and cliques. – that is because you never got invited to the good cocktail parties. If only you had shilled harder

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        Oh, I got invited to them, and attended them. It was like staring into Satan’s butthole. Think about the smarm and sleeze that permeates Washington DC…

  10. PieInTheSky

    “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.”

    easy to say when you don’t have aggressive nations on your border

  11. Not Adahn

    Wait, it’s Friday already?

    • PieInTheSky

      time flies when you are thinking of idling away in the Alps on the company’s dime

      • Not Adahn

        I’m pretty sure Lily would love the Alps. She could chase marmots. Possibly ibex.

      • PieInTheSky

        ibex are difficult to chase they are quite the climbers

      • Not Adahn

        She probably wouldn’t catch them. She’s not terribly fast. She’s a retriever, not a hound.

    • Nephilium

      For most of us… yes.

    • DEG

      Yes.

      And Oktoberfest starts tomorrow.

  12. PieInTheSky

    Look after yourself with a stoic outlook.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56dy9k5zQn0

    I follow ralfy for whisky reviews but his other channel makes an attempt at stoicism

  13. PieInTheSky

    It will not be interesting to you as the talk is all Romanian but here is a guy living in the woods in the mountains of Romania picking porcini mushrooms to dry for winter (mushrooms start at 15 minute mark ). Hribi in romanian which I think is porcini, though I did not know they get so big

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXQLgXqqbkQ

      • PieInTheSky

        at the 21 min mark you can see a Romanian shepherd dog puppy and a cat

  14. R C Dean

    I was thinking the Japanese guy on the album cover was committing hara-kiri because of his disgraceful breast implants, but the guy who is his second seems to have gone to the same plastic surgeon, so now I dunno.

      • Rat on a train

        How about some Gattaca and leg lengthening?

        John Lovedale is feeling pretty good, despite the fact that he should not be walking right now. It’s a little after 9 a.m. on a hot Saturday morning in Las Vegas and he’s ambling through the Aria Resort & Casino with a pronounced limp, wincing as he throws his hips into wide semicircles and dragging his feet exactly where they need to be. The effect is like a Grand Theft Auto extra who’s just been sniped in the butt.
        John is in his mid-40s and stands five feet eleven and a half.

        That John is on his feet at all is impressive—and probably foolish—considering that only eight months prior, he was five feet eight and a half. Back in September, he paid $75,000 for the agonizing privilege of having his legs surgically lengthened. That entailed having both his femurs broken, and adjustable metal nails inserted down their centers. Each nail is made of titanium, which is both flexible and sturdy, like bone, and about the size of a piccolo. The nails were extended one millimeter every day for about 90 days via a magnetic remote control. Once the broken bones heal, ta-da: a newer, taller John.

      • UnCivilServant

        Leg lengthening has been around for some time. Used to be they’d do it with pins that protruded from the leg and got connected to a screw outside the body to provide the regular re-breaking of the bones.

      • Fatty Bolger

        only eight months prior, he was five feet eight and a half

        I had a co-worker about that height who suddenly got a couple of inches taller one day. But I’m pretty sure he just got elevator shoes.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      FedEx dropped 20%+ today.

      That’s absolutely massive and a very bad sign.

      • UnCivilServant

        I like not this news, bring me different news.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        The day’s not over yet?

      • Rat on a train

        My 401k is down ~15% for the year.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am deliberately not looking at my deferred comp account.

      • Sean

        Doesn’t really affect me.

        /Said stoically.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        The transports are very reliable leading indicators for the overall real economy.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        Are all logistics companies down, or just FedEx?

      • Sensei

        FedEx reported. Usually they move in step, but I don’t follow this vertical. For example DHL is down 3% in a market down around 1.5% last I looked. So relative 1.5% down.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        There’s always somebody who breaks the bad news and leads into the broader crash. I often wonder how or if that company is handpicked.

        I believe it was Nortel for the dotcom bust.

      • Sensei

        At least in the verticals I analyzed that really isn’t the case.

        The earnings are on set on the calendar so as not to interfere with others and piss off all the analysts trying to cover earnings of the respective companies. Most verticals had 20 or firms, but if you were a tech or TMT (tech, media, telecom) analyst – your life sucked over earnings. OTH, they generally had the highest comp on both buy and sell side.

        If you knew you were going to terminally screw the pooch you’d pre-announce prior to earnings. It also depends what the 800lbs gorillas in the vertical were doing.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        The Dow Jones Transports Index (DJT) is down 6%. UPS is down 5% when the DJI is down 1%.

      • Nephilium

        Earnings and forecast report dropped for FedEx yesterday I believe, and both were below expectations.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Revenue was up year on year and earnings down.

        Inflation, baby.

  15. hayeksplosives

    “What if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will see to it that I won’t be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that. But I will see to it that I’m kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater where they went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully.”
    —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.13

    Doesn’t strike me as a uniquely stoic thing, but it’s good advice.

  16. PieInTheSky

    What if someone despises me? – ratio them on twitter

  17. hayeksplosives

    I took my 2 year old cat to the vet for a general checkup and update on the annual vaccines (he’s indoor/outdoor so he needs them).

    He was such a good boy!! Dare I say “stoic”? The vet was preparing to take his temperature (rectally) and I said “Oh, Felix, you’re not going to like this.” The vet, an older gentleman, said, “Well I hope not. If he liked it, he’s no son of mine!”

    I thought that was hilarious. Old guys rock.

    • Not Adahn

      No kinkshaming!

      • hayeksplosives

        I can easily imagine a Karen getting all uptight about what was obviously a joke. But here in Pahrump we are behind the times. Or perhaps beyond them and fully into “who gives a shit about trivial matters?” mode.

  18. UnCivilServant

    I went and saw the fishes, and the choo choos. Then I had lunch and got a to go box for my leftovers – before promptly leaving said leftovers on the table when I left the restaurant.

    At least the rain appears to be letting up.

    • Gender Traitor

      If I had – and ate – all the food in “doggy bags” I’ve left behind at restaurants, my physique would be in line with Tres’s tastes.

      • Tres Cool

        How YOU doin’ ?

  19. Drake

    That does look relaxing.

  20. PieInTheSky

    Also in weird associations Flotsam and Jetsam makes me think of Heroes of Might and Magic III for some reason

    • UnCivilServant

      Floating cargo a major plot point in that game?

      • PieInTheSky

        well not major but when you boated around you could find stuff floating rarely the most valuable stuff

  21. hayeksplosives

    With inflation raging, I don’t get why the price of gold is going down. Would this be a good time to buy, or am I missing something about gold vs stock, where you definitely want to buy an undervalued stock and wait until it goes up?

    Wealth can be created (yes, democrats, it’s not a fixed pie), but there is only so much gold to go around.

    I’m kinda thinking about picking up some more 1/10 Oz gold coins, since they are in reasonably tradable increments.

    • robodruid

      Gold has been rather inelastic WRT prices over the years. I wont say it seems manipulated.
      But it does seem to be manipulated somehow.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Because it is

      • Gender Traitor

        Can’t say re: gold, but the silver market is definitely manipulated. Some big silver holder can’t afford to let the spot price get too high.

      • Tres Cool

        Is it aliens ?

    • Not Adahn

      Elon brought aback an asteroid?

    • R C Dean

      Gold is absolutely manipulated.

      It also gets liquidated when the market is down, as people need to raise cash for margin calls and the like.

    • hayeksplosives

      Once in a while there are cases in which a nurse or other health care worker deliberately kills patients, whether through drugs (or holding them back), putting air bubbles into the IVs, etc.

      It’s like firefighters who are arsonists. They want the power.

      So are those types fucked in the head beforehand, and that’s why they become a nurse or arsonist, or do they lose their minds after taking the job?

  22. Tundra

    “When forced, as it seems, by circumstances into utter confusion, get a hold of yourself quickly. Don’t be locked out of the rhythm any longer than necessary. You’ll be able to keep the beat if you are constantly returning to it.”

    I like this one a lot. Keep the rhythm.

    This should help.

    Thanks, Ron!