Daily Stoic Week 42

by | Oct 14, 2022 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 92 comments

Daily Stoic Week 41

The Daily Stoic

The Practicing Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

October 15

“Everything turns on your assumptions about it, and that’s on you. You can pluck out the hasty judgment at will, and like steering a ship around the point, you will find calm seas, fair weather and a safe port.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.22

Most of my struggles are caused by me. This is a hard truth to acknowledge. If I can learn to choose not to get upset at the world, I will get upset a lot less often. I need to keep a clear head and not assume that everything is out to get me. My laptop was giving me a blue screen and restarting at the cyclic rate last week. I was getting angry at it, but was able to laugh at myself by saying, “Oh yeah, yell at it, that will help”. I wasn’t able to fix the laptop, but I was able to fix my outlook about the laptop.

 

October 16

“Some people with exceptional minds quickly grasp virtue, or produce it within themselves. But other dim and lazy types, hindered by bad habits, must have their rusty souls constantly scrubbed down. . . . The weaker sorts will be helped and lifted from their bad opinions if we put them in the care of  philosophy’s principles.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 95.36–37

For the most part, I grasp virtue rather quickly. This is not true in all aspects of my life. Even when I was a young and single partyer, I was never a dirt bag. When it comes to controlling my anger, I can make myself dim and lazy pretty quickly. Following Stoic principles has really helped to get the rust off of my soul. It’s still nasty in spots, but not as bad as it used to be.

 

October 17

“A benefit should be kept like a buried treasure, only to be dug up in necessity. . . . Nature bids us to do well by all. . . . Wherever there is a human being, we have an opportunity for kindness.”
—SENECA, ON THE HAPPY LIFE, 24.2–3

I try to help other people when I can. Sometimes this entails helping my wife’s friends with mechanical work or assisting the random person that has a flat tire on the road outside my house. I also do my best to assist people at work and train new mangers with maintaining their account. It goes the same with trying to be a good example on handling adversity and not getting upset about things outside of control.

 

October 18

“There’s nothing worse than a wolf befriending sheep. Avoid false friendship at all costs. If you are good, straightforward, and well meaning it should show in your eyes and not escape notice.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.15

I have had false friends through the years. I have tried not to be one myself, and am usually successful at letting people know my true feelings and not pretending to be nice. Once my wife said I was rude when we were on a date night and a guy I barely knew sat down with us. I told him we were out together and I would appreciate it if he would leave. I thought that was less rude than him inviting himself to join us. I also thought it was less rude than pretending to be nice and then eventually snapping at him when I couldn’t take it anymore. My brother takes this to a new level. Once a husband of one of his wife’s co-workers was hinting about getting together some weekend, my brother said, “No offense buddy, but I have enough people on my Christmas card list”. I’ve told my wife that I am not as bad as him and she mutters something about a low bar.

 

October 19

“Since habit is such a powerful influence, and we’re used to pursuing our impulses to gain and avoid outside our own choice, we should set a contrary habit against that, and where appearances are really slippery, use the counter force of our training.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.12.6

Bad habits are hard to break. It is easy to keep doing the same thing just because you are used to doing that. Luckily, the same is true of good habits. As long as I can keep doing the correct things and controlling my anger, it can build on itself and make the future obstacles easier to overcome. It’s hard to establish good habits, but in the long run it works for the better.

 

October 20

“You have proof in the extent of your wanderings that you never found the art of living anywhere—not in logic, nor in wealth, fame, or in any indulgence. Nowhere. Where is it then? In doing what human nature demands. How is a person to do this? By having principles be the source of desire and action. What principles? Those to do with good and evil, indeed in the belief that there is no good for a human being except what creates justice, self-control, courage and freedom, and nothing evil except what destroys these things.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.1.(5)

How do I find peace of mind? As long as I keep with my principles and avoid evil, it is easy. No matter how rich I am, no matter how much travel and superficial pleasures I indulge in, there is no real good for me that compares to living well internally. I can have freedom in an unfree world if my mentality is in my control and not dependent on external forces.

 

October 21

“Such behavior! People don’t want to praise their contemporaries whose lives they actually share, but hold great expectations for the praise of future generations—people they haven’t met or ever will! This is akin to being upset that past generations didn’t praise you.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.18

This is a reminder that life is short and the amount of people who will remember me after I die is small. My memory will be gone after my grandkids die, if I ever have any. This might be a macabre thought, but it is true for the vast majority of people. Thinking of how many people from the past that I recognize by name and it’s not a long list. Even if I was somehow remembered by everyone in the future, I wouldn’t know it.

 

Music today is George Jones.

 

He was an alcoholic asshole for a lot of his life, and if he couldn’t sing he would have died in obscurity and probably hated by everyone who knew him.

Luckily for him, he was born with an amazing singing voice.

 

 

 

I think this song was him trying to reconcile with his past mistakes

 

This one was his biggest hit, but he almost didn’t record it because “Nobody’ll buy that morbid son of a bitch.”

 

 

 

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

92 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    These late afternoon and friday project meetings are making me… erm… want to violate the workplace violens policy.

    I shall have to torment their ears with my ineptitude.

    • Lackadaisical

      I don’t get it, everyone’s schedule was free Friday afternoon, what’s the problem?

      • Lackadaisical

        And if we go over our scheduled 5pm finish, no problem since that time shouldn’t have anything scheduled anyway. /PM from hell

  2. R.J.

    “Some people with exceptional minds quickly grasp virtue, or produce it within themselves. ”
    You could also replace “virtue” with “value” and it makes a good statement too.

    “There’s nothing worse than a wolf befriending sheep. Avoid false friendship at all costs. ”
    Teaching my daughter this right now. It’s a hard topic to teach.

    Thanks Ron! Excellent as always!

    • ron73440

      Teaching my daughter this right now. It’s a hard topic to teach.

      Yes it is, especially when the false friends are popular.

  3. DEG

    Once my wife said I was rude when we were on a date night and a guy I barely knew sat down with us.

    Some person did that? Wow. I’m assuming you were at a table and not at the bar.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sounds like an episode of Big Bang.

      • DEG

        That took a turn I wasn’t expecting.

        Oh… you mean the TV show right?

        Right?

      • Nephilium

        In the background, faintly, you hear an, “Untz! Untz! Untz!”

      • The Other Kevin

        I heard that women like a “take charge” kind of man so after that display I just assumed the rest of the date would go a certain way.

      • DEG

        That’s what I was thinking too. I was thinking of turning over a new leaf instead of “These euphemisms.”

      • Lackadaisical

        Yes, I’m surprised the wife had an issue with it. Maybe we’re not getting the whole story…

    • ron73440

      We were at a table, and he kind of knew me from the bar I was working in at the time.

      • DEG

        I can see a “Hi” in passing, but joining? Yeah. Beyond the pale.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Very Eddie Haskell.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    “No offense buddy, but I have enough people on my Christmas card list”.

    Nice.

  5. Gender Traitor

    Favorite actual quote from an actual patron at some furry animal club or another as the hired classic rock band was setting up and sound-checking. (Imagine it said with a heavy drawl.): “Y’all caint be much of a band if you don’t play no George Jones.”

    • juris imprudent

      Our state SC screwed us all.

      • Sean

        This is true.

    • Rebel Scum

      But elections are totally secure. If you question one (where a Dem “wins”) then you are a domestic terrorist.

      • juris imprudent

        That really is about the Dem message “if we lose, the terrorists win”.

  6. Tundra

    “A benefit should be kept like a buried treasure, only to be dug up in necessity. . . . Nature bids us to do well by all. . . . Wherever there is a human being, we have an opportunity for kindness.”

    I like this one. I see kindness between people every single day. I do try my best to give everyone I meet a smile or some conversation. Further, I like being the go-to guy in the neighborhood. It doesn’t take much time and the rewards are significant.

    As always, Ron, I really appreciate these. I know we all pretend to be misanthropes, but You People truly help me not despair about the ridiculous shit in the world (which, of course, I can’t do anything about, anyhow).

    • ron73440

      I like that one.

  7. Rat on a train

    Opinion: A majority of Americans think US democracy is broken. Here are 12 ideas for repairing it
    1. mandatory national service – FOS
    2. pack courts with superficial diversity – only a judge that looks like me can make decisions that effect me
    3. veteran poll volunteers – fine but what actual impact
    4. devolve power (from KMW) – yes
    5. jungle primaries – hasn’t moderated partisanship where it’s been tried
    6. make it easier to vote – no
    7. instill confidence – sure, how
    8. compromise – sure as long as you give in, right?
    9. allow parties to nominate people from other parties – yeah, that’s the ticket
    10. direct democracy – it’s a reason why California is a basket case
    11. get Congress to change their rules – go for it
    12. be a role model?

    • Tundra

      Opinion: A majority of Americans think US democracy is broken.

      Opinion: Not broken enough.

      • R.J.

        Well, we don’t have a democracy which is why you think it’s broken.Kind of like when you set autocorrect to Spanish when typing English and then complain the computer is broken.

    • UnCivilServant

      1 No
      2 Fuck No
      3 *shrug*
      4 Vague suggestion – devolve what power from where to where?
      5 Hell no.
      6 No, it’s too easy to vote, add controls to make it harder to cheat.
      7 Vague suggestion
      8 Give me half of everything I want this time around, and I’ll only demand half as much next time.
      9 This is nonsensical.
      10 Mob rule is objectively terrible
      11 Good luck
      12 For what Role?

      • Ted S.

        We have 9 in New York, and that’s not what the problem is with New York.

    • The Other Kevin

      Wow, those are useless as tits on a bull. How about these ideas for a start?
      1. Term limits for every branch of government
      2. 100% tax on all money made that is over their last salary for any elected official, effective for 5 years after leaving office
      3. 100% ban on all stock trades by elected officials and their families
      4. Lifetime ban of all former elected officials and government employees from lobbying
      5. Mandatory voter ID
      6. Mandatory chain of custody rules for all ballots
      7. Mail in ballots only allowed in case of illness, age, or military service

      • UnCivilServant

        #1 – including the bureaucracy.

      • The Other Kevin

        Why, that would mean we would no longer have Dr. Fauci’s.

        SOLD.

      • Rat on a train

        8. Require candidates to receive a majority of the votes to win not just the most.

      • Lackadaisical

        Majority of eligible voters for the election.*

      • juris imprudent

        after leaving office

        I don’t care how much money they make. I want them fitted with a collar that explodes if they are within 100 miles of DC.

      • Pine_Tree

        Or any other collar.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Would stink if your plane got rerouted to DC because of weather. *shrug* thems the breaks I guess.

      • R C Dean

        “100% ban on all stock trades by elected officials and their families”

        Or, their investments are all put into index and bond funds for the duration of their time in office. No trading. I remain convinced that by far the biggest source of bribery for Congress is insider trading tips from lobbyists.

    • robc

      #1 and #10 work pretty well for Switzerland. Of course, they also have done #4, as the cantons are more important than the national government.

    • Tundra

      How about eliminate the Federal government?

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Or, how the American Republic crumbled.

    DEMOCRACY! dies when a vote is narrowly defined or subject to verification.

  9. Ownbestenemy

    Had to work with two engineers this week. One, green just out of college that landed his first project as PE and the other an electronics engineer working to help us restore a radar.

    The green engineer was like a baby. Kept getting caught up that his drawing didn’t reflect the equipment room correctly. I had to keep reminding him “does it impact your ability to survey your project?” “No, but the drawing isn’t right!”. That survey took 5 hours….

    The one helping us is hung up on getting the correct colored 22awg wire. Can find any white/black stripe wire unless I get 100 feet. We need 1 foot for the fix. Finally got him to accept using white and we can tag the wire until we find the correct one.

    Engineers need to get to the field to understand real-world is a lot different than their equations and drawings.

    • UnCivilServant

      I always assume the documentation is suspect or lacking, because it usually is.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The hang up was we added a cabinet and it wasn’t on the drawing and no where near his project location. He was petrified to the point I told them to break for lunch

      • UnCivilServant

        Fire him now.

        If he gets that hung up on something that won’t impact the project to the point where he’s almost incapacitated, there’s no hope.

      • Tundra

        Oh, horseshit. If 22 year old UCS walked into your office right now for an interview you’d likely throw him out.

        I think we tend to forget what being green means.

      • UnCivilServant

        That degree of fixation on a single detail is far beyond being green.

        And even at that age I knew enough to look up the application procedure.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah that’s why I break for lunch. FAA world and our equipment room can be intimidating and no reason to sour his first time out. We will get him through it and hopefully he learns from it and is better at his next site

      • UnCivilServant

        I can understand going “What’s that? It’s not on the drawing” but once assured it’s not going to get in the way, he should have been able to compartmentalize and not keep coming back to it.

      • R.J.

        …and you put up the cabinet while they had lunch? Because that’s what I would have done.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lol he would have lost his mind

      • Gender Traitor

        He was petrified to the point I told them to break for lunch.

        Did he insist on lining up his fish sticks on his plate JUST SO?

      • Nephilium

        Why… did he have to run cable too?

      • Nephilium

        What do you mean you want to validate the backups? It says right here in the spreadsheet that the backups are configured and working!

    • R.J.

      I SEE A WIRE AND I WANT TO PAINT IT BLACK….

    • pistoffnick

      One, green just out of college…

      GREEN LIVES MATTER!

      I had a book-smart Chinese engineer ask me for the range and accuracy of my plumb bob…

      • Tundra

        Phrasing!

    • Lackadaisical

      If he’s fresh out of college, he can’t be a PE.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Finally got him to accept using white and we can tag the wire until we find the correct one.

    Draw a black stripe on it with a sharpie.

    • R.J.

      So beasitality and falcon rape saved the species.

    • EvilSheldon

      I swear to Enkidu, Dave Barry did a bit on this like twenty years ago…

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t harass Gilgamesh’s dead friend.

      • EvilSheldon

        Enkidu does most of the harassing himself.

    • The Other Kevin

      The Hat & The Hair & The Fuck Hat? Paging SF…

    • Lackadaisical

      “There is no magic formula, but success is proportional to the intensity of interest, the personal involvement, and the amount of hard work that go into a breeding effort.”

      Nothing to add, just thought I’d share.

    • hayeksplosives

      Breeding falcons this way is very intense. I get more anxious than the birds do,” says Wood. “They only breed from the beginning of March until the end of May and you have to be in there with them on a daily basis… You know, I lead a fairly normal life meaning I have a family. I have a wife. I value my human relationships. It can be difficult to act like a falcon every day for three months. You can’t just casually do it whenever you want to.”

  11. Tundra

    This is wild

    No clue if it’s true, but it’s entertaining regardless.

    • The Other Kevin

      Entertaining, yes, but I can’t see any member of the intel community trying to NOT start a war. Maybe those were different times. Or the president was from a different party.

      • slumbrew

        “why can’t you just come talk to me in my office like normal people?”

      • Lackadaisical

        ‘Because we’ll be fired’

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        At that time the CIA was pissed because Cheney was pressuring them to support the case for war.

        I doubt you’d get that pushback nowadays.

        Leahy should have entered the documents into the congressional record and blown the Bush/Cheney war to hell.

  12. Tundra

    RIP Robbie Coltrane

    I liked his Russian crime boss character in Goldeneye.

  13. Sensei

    So the NHTSA pretty much forced GM to recall like a bazillion GMC Terrains. Realistically there was no need for the recall. Essentially the headlights barely failed our crappy US standards. Given the new world we live in with supply chain issues and the number of vehicles impacted it was not going to fun even excluding the costs.

    However, as an owner you’d have to be pretty stoic to accept the solution.

    GMC Terrain Headlight Recall Fix Is Just a Piece of Tape

    If it was my car I’d never bother with it. And if I took it in for warranty work and they did the campaign I’d be peeling that off PDQ.

    • Tundra

      That’s retarded.

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘ At certain angles, the NHTSA says the car’s headlights are too bright’

      I actually agree with this though. Way too many people blinding me out there as it is.

    • NoDakMat

      Years ago, I had a 2001 Monte Carlo. They were having problems with ignition switches wearing out prematurely, so they did a recall. I set up an appointment and bring the car in. When I get there, the tech tells me that all they are going to do is glue inserts into the slot in the key where the keychain goes thru so that there would only be an oval-ish hole instead of a long slot. They determined that the lever action created by a heavy key chain hanging at the bottom of the slot was the problem, not the cheap ignition switch. I still had to leave my car at the dealership all day because I didn’t have the spare key with me.

    • Tundra

      Wonderful.

    • DEG

      🙂

    • R.J.

      Very nice!

    • R.J.

      Very nice!

    • slumbrew

      Excellent.

      I like that the first couple comments are on how terrible TOS is now. It’s not just us.

      • R.J.

        Wow. That’s brutal. So… start charging for monthly access to Glibs and steal Reason’s thunder?