Daily Stoic Week 43

by | Oct 21, 2022 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 128 comments

Daily Stoic Week 42

The Daily Stoic

The Practicing Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

October 22

“So someone’s good at taking down an opponent, but that doesn’t make them more community-minded, or modest, or well-prepared for any circumstance, or more tolerant of the faults of others.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.52

Just because I am good at things that impress some people, (shooting, working on cars, rough carpentry and the like), doesn’t mean I am a good person. Those skills are useful, but it is more important that I am good at being an honest and strong man. It is also important that I don’t get impressed with my own abilities, or become condescending to others that can not do the same things.

 

October 23

“People aren’t in awe of your sharp mind? So be it. But you have many other qualities you can’t claim to have been deprived of at birth. Display then those qualities in your own power: honesty, dignity,  endurance, chastity, contentment, frugality, kindness, freedom, persistence, avoiding gossip, and magnanimity.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.5

Some people are better at at different things. I am a quick learner, once I read something I usually remember it right away. I am not “quick” when it comes to a serious debate or joking around with friends. In the Marines, I was known for not being able to get into a rapid fire insult round without being reduced to “Fuck you” which meant I lost. It seems nothing I do can change that. I do have the power to change my perceptions and reactions to the things happening to me. I also have the power to decide to be honest and trustworthy. These are what I need to focus on and not worry about shortcomings I can’t control.

 

October 24

“Dig deep within yourself, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow if you will keep digging.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.59

Goodness is not an external item. If I want my wife to be happy, I cannot just wait for her to be that way. I have to make the decision to do things for her. I also have to be the kind of person that makes her happy, by being a good man and not acting like an idiot with money or running around. It is up to me if I want to be in a bad mood because my laptop is still screwed up. Bringing anger home will not make either one of us happy. I have learned to not get as angry anymore, so it’s easier to not do that. The feeling is still there, just waiting for me to slip up.

 

October 25

“What, then, makes a person free from hindrance and self determining? For wealth doesn’t, neither does high-office, state or kingdom—rather, something else must be found . . . in the case of living, it is the knowledge of how to live.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.1.62–64

The only way to be free from anger is to learn how not to get angry in the first place. My financial situation does not help with this. No matter how much money I am making and how nice my house is, there are still things that irritate me that I cannot control. If I cannot control it, getting angry doesn’t help and often leads to bad decisions that make it worse. As long as I remind myself of this simple truth, I am living a good life, regardless of how external forces are treating me.

 

October 26

“The best and the greatest number of authors have asserted that philosophy consists of three parts: the moral, the natural, and the rational. The first puts the soul in order. The second thoroughly examines the natural order of things. The third inquires into the proper meaning of words, and their arrangements and proofs which keep falsehoods from creeping in to displace truth.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 89.9

I try to be as honest in my daily life as possible. I believe living a deceptive life is unnatural and not good for me or anyone that has to deal with me. Being rational means being able to separate emotions from logic. All three of these put together help to be able to see when outside forces are trying to manipulate my opinions, or lie straight to my face. This also helps to form my personal belief in freedom and my disdain for word salads that don’t have a true meaning.

October 27

“Crimes often return to their teacher.”
—SENECA, THYESTES, 311

This reminds me of being a kid and hearing my mother say, “Do as I say, not as I do”. I made a vow never to say that as a parent, and I think I was successful. Not that I never acted in a way that I wouldn’t let my kids, but I made sure never to utter those words. Most of the problems I had with my kids were because they acted just like me, even though I tried to get them to do something different. I showed them to be direct and honest and sometimes that honesty would cause problems. They also grew up seeing me drink a lot of beer and not surprising they also seem to enjoy beer. I guess the lesson is to never forget who is watching and don’t be surprised when they say “I learned it from watching you”.

 

October 28

“You’ll more quickly find an earthly thing kept from the earth than you will a person cut off from other human beings.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 9.9.3

I don’t like to hang out with the people I work with. They are not bad people, but I don’t “fit” with them. I am perfectly happy to hang out with my wife. It is nice to hang out with my brothers and stepdad, we always have a good time together. I need to remember that even though I really don’t have friends that I see often, I do have real friends and I am not as anti social as I think I am sometimes.

 

Music this week is Fates Warning

 

This guy can hit the high notes, and the rest of the band is excellent.

I know not many of you like the same music I do, but i don’t care, I like what I like

 

 

 

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

128 Comments

  1. R.J.

    “ You’ll more quickly find an earthly thing kept from the earth than you will a person cut off from other human beings.”

    This should be a Glibs motto. Find your crowd.

    • Brochettaward

      I rate this First a 3/10. It beats anything ever produced by some people who walk around here proclaiming themselves to be Firsters who have never even sniffed a First, but it still needs a lot of work.

      • Brochettaward

        And to be clear, some of you jabronis? Some of you think you can just come in here, and drop trou and starting shooting shit all over the place and call it a First. Well, I’m here to tell you that that aint how this works. THAT SHIT AINT GOING TO FLY HERE. A real First? It stops people in their tracks, beckons on them to hear it, and makes them ponder the very essence of their existence.

        Do better.

      • slumbrew

        Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.

      • juris imprudent

        So much projection.

      • R.J.

        It was almost 10 minutes past the hour before I posted. I posted, thinking that clearly the firsters had done their amazing comments.
        You missed your SLA and you require coaching. You do better.

      • UnCivilServant

        R.J. on October 21, 2022 at 11:15 am

        That’s more than ten minutes, RJ. That’s half an OT moratorium.

      • R.J.

        True. I should get the facts right if I am going to write him up.

      • Brochettaward

        That’s IT. I am officially shutting this comment section down.

      • Brochettaward

        You’ve been fired. I’m going to bring in my own commentariat.

      • UnCivilServant

        You have neither hiring nor firing authority. You can say whatever you want, but it won’t change that fact.

      • juris imprudent

        Ha! Without us, you’re nothing.

      • Brochettaward

        Your cheaper Mexican or Indian equivalents will suffice just fine.

  2. Grosspatzer

    Thanks for this, Ron. Exactly what I need today.

    And there is this:

    “This reminds me of being a kid and hearing my mother say, “Do as I say, not as I do”. I made a vow never to say that as a parent, and I think I was successful.”

    I have, over and over, told my kids “Do as I say, not as I DID”. I wrote the book on screwing up in my younger days, and made sure the boys are aware of every detail so they would not make the same mistakes. Seems to have worked so far, they are far better people than I could ever hope to be.

    • R.J.

      ^This. I strive to do the same and my kids is turning out much better than I did.

      • UnCivilServant

        “I want you to learn from my mistakes.”

      • Fourscore

        Me too but I may have said “Because I’m the Dad” when it was decision making time. Little kids believe their parents are Super Men/Women. When they get to be teenagers and realize that some of us are rather mediocre they are disappointed. By the time they are 30 they understand we really are super people. My 60 year old son, just 2-3 days ago, was in awe of some of my home skills. After he saw the preparations for HH and seeing that honey doesn’t always come from a jar he was more appreciative.

      • kinnath

        “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain

        My father used to quote Twain to me all the time. So, I heard this one by time I was 14.

    • Tundra

      100%. I am not shy about sharing my fuck ups. I tell my kids I want them to make their own, unique fuck ups 😉

      • ron73440

        100%. I am not shy about sharing my fuck ups. I tell my kids I want them to make their own, unique fuck ups 😉

        That’s what I thought, but my son joined the Marines and spent his time and money on beer and women, it was like a time warp, he was living my life on repeat.

      • Tundra

        Yeah? So he’ll end up a cool dude with lots of skills. Sounds like a win to me!

      • Fourscore

        You can be proud that his admiration for his Dad made him want to follow in your footsteps.

      • ron73440

        He’s not doing too bad now.

        After he got out he started working at a restaurant as a busboy/bar back.

        2 1/2 years later and he is the manager.

      • slumbrew

        my son joined the Marines and spent his time and money on beer and women

        The rest, he just wasted.

      • R.J.

        Part of it is leaving them free to make their own mistakes too. Oh it is painful to watch. But failure is necessary to understand success.

    • wdalasio

      I don’t know. I always acknowledged that the notion that “Hypocrisy is the dues vice pays virtue.” made a lot of sense. Something is either right or wrong independent of my ability to meet the demands of doing the right thing. The difficulty of doing the right thing might be something that experience can teach us gives reason for leniency or understanding. But, that’s not reason to reject the standard.

  3. DEG

    The only way to be free from anger is to learn how not to get angry in the first place.

    That’s something that will be rough for me.

    • R.J.

      That’s rough for everyone.

    • ron73440

      I am better at it, but not as good as I would like to be.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Not me this week or any other for that matter. I really do have a temper.

  4. DEG

    This reminds me of being a kid and hearing my mother say, “Do as I say, not as I do”.

    I heard that too. And hated it.

    It’s one thing to point out expectations and rules are different for adults and children, but that’s not what was going on.

    • Nephilium

      The other thing I hated was the, “Because” or “Because I said so!”.

      I don’t believe I’ve ever used those with my niece or nephews. They may not agree with my reasons, but I’ll provide them.

      • Lackadaisical

        I’ve definitely said ‘because I said so’

        After the first 10 why’s weren’t enough.

      • R C Dean

        At some point, though, endless nitpickery from subordinates has to be brought to an end.

    • Fourscore

      “Do as I say, not as I do”

      Heard that occasionally as a young soldier. It didn’t fly then either

      • juris imprudent

        If you’re going to lead, you have to do it by example before you can say word one about it.

  5. Tundra

    “The best and the greatest number of authors have asserted that philosophy consists of three parts: the moral, the natural, and the rational. The first puts the soul in order. The second thoroughly examines the natural order of things. The third inquires into the proper meaning of words, and their arrangements and proofs which keep falsehoods from creeping in to displace truth.”

    That’s perfection. Doing a quick inventory of the three for myself, I’d have to say poor, ok and good.

    I have some work to do.

    Thanks, Ron!

    • Fourscore

      That’s why we have closets, to hide those things we don’t want others to see or know. My closets are jammed. I need to keep the doors closed for a little longer.

    • ron73440

      Why would you rate your morality as poor?

      • Tundra

        I don’t feel that my soul is in any way “in order.” I’m probably too hard on myself, but I think it’s an area I can do much better. I’ve been spending more time reading the classics and trying to understand what being a moral person truly encompasses (it’s more than “don’t hurt people or take their stuff”).

      • ron73440

        I’m probably too hard on myself,

        That’s what it sounds like.

        But as long as you know what your short comings are, you know what to work on.

    • juris imprudent

      That’s interesting because I would think the moral and the natural don’t always align and it is the rational that arbitrates that.

  6. Mojeaux

    A lot to parse for me today. “Do as I say, not what I do.” I tried never to say that, but I did say, “Do as I say, not as I DID, because this is what happened to me when I did it…” I very rarely said, “Because I said so!” but at some point the incessant refusal to do something whose purpose is obvious because the child just doesn’t want to do it is crazy-making.

    Things I am good at and things that I am not. It always seemed to me that the things I’m really good at or whatever people envied me for were not particularly helpful in terms of my real life. Knowing how to embroider does not pay my bills, so the less useful it is monetarily, the less I’m going to pat myself on the back for it. Why can I not be good at sales? Or math?

    @grosspatzer, for whatever it’s worth, your youthful struggles are helping a stranger on the internet 40 years later.

    • Grosspatzer

      I once hung out in a New Brunswick tavern (recently closed after 80 years because COVID). One of the regulars, a very pretty young lady, returned from a Caribbean vacation bearing gifts for us. Mine was a t-shirt with the inscription “Find a purpose in life. Be a bad example.” I am doing the Lord’s work, and I hope things are getting better with you and yours.

      • kinnath
      • Ownbestenemy

        One of our downfalls I think as a people is thinking mistake is a bad word. They serve sometimes as painful reminders that the universe will kill you and not even notice.

      • kinnath

        Seen someplace in the past (probably at Despair.com). Pain is an integral part of learning. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not survive our most profound learning experiences.

      • kinnath

        But yes, if you never make mistakes, you are never trying to do anything new.

      • kinnath

        I was in a meeting with a bunch of engineers, and I had passed out paper copies of a slide deck I was going to go through later.

        A young lady was flipping through the pages and stopped to ask me what something was on one of the figures.

        I said “That’s what we call a mistake. That’s why we do peer reviews”.

        One of the other senior engineers started laughing “I can’t believe you’re being so casual about making a mistake.”

        It happens. I don’t make many, but I do make mistakes just like everyone.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Not really “because!” or “because I said so!” more like “Because I pay the bills and until you can do so, such is life” We try to do as others have said, not as I did…but unless its a life-altering decision or something that will maim/kill them, if they don’t want to listen and make the same mistake, we will let them.

  7. Timeloose

    “What, then, makes a person free from hindrance and self determining? For wealth doesn’t, neither does high-office, state or kingdom—rather, something else must be found . . . in the case of living, it is the knowledge of how to live.”

    If you don’t like what or who you are, you can’t wait until you reach some future state, condition, or point in your life until you can begin to try to change. Don’t keep looking back or forward, look to today. What can you do to be better. Sometimes this means doing nothing but relaxing with a hobby, pushing through a project, taking a step to start working out, or begin building or re-building a relationship.

    “So understand
    Don’t waste your time always searching for
    those wasted years
    Face up… make your stand
    And realize you’re living in the golden years.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij99dud8-0A

    tonight I’m meeting a group of long time friends and acquaintances to get together to enjoy a night of music, power, and now after 4 years tradition.

    • Tundra

      Fan-fucking-tastic, Timeloose! Have a great time!

      • Timeloose

        Thanks Tundra!

    • Grosspatzer

      Enjoy. Live music with friends is the best. Locking up the venues over a virus was/us a crime against humanity

    • ron73440

      Very nice!

      Up the Irons!

  8. EvilSheldon

    “Just because I am good at things that impress some people, (shooting, working on cars, rough carpentry and the like), doesn’t mean I am a good person. Those skills are useful, but it is more important that I am good at being an honest and strong man.”

    True so far as it goes, but I think that there absolutely is a correlation between being a good person, and being able to do good things. I run into so many bad people who you can just tell, the only things in their life are work, sleep, TV, and the internet…

    “It is also important that I don’t get impressed with my own abilities, or become condescending to others that can not do the same things.”

    This is something I could stand to work on.

    • Fourscore

      Say it ain’t so. Was this written originally in German?

  9. UnCivilServant

    Friday afternoons are the worst.

    • Plisade

      And the mornings? I got up at 0400, as I’ve been, to teach my niece to drive. Today was to be the last lesson before her license test. Just before turning into our subdivision, having successfully survived another session, she veers toward the curb where awaits a rock that blows the front right tire. Fortunately, we were near the house, so I was able to put on the spare in my own driveway. Unfortunately, I threw my back out while doing so. Now I’m at work dreaming of bed and stretching. Gotta skip Friday happy hour. Hell and death!

      • UnCivilServant

        Sorry to hear about your back.

        The tire thing sucks too, but isn’t as bad as physical injury like that.

      • Plisade

        Thanks. Yoga to the rescue!

      • UnCivilServant

        The cartoon bear or the baseball player?

        Wait, you said ‘Yoga’.

      • Ted S.

        Did she pass the exam?

    • Fourscore

      But the whole week end stretches out in front of us, UCS

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve got so much I have to do, but I’m stuck in the office waiting out the last 50 minutes of the workday.

    • UnCivilServant

      Woohoo! Looks like I get to leave soon.

      🏃‍♂️

  10. Rebel Scum

    This is udderly ridiculous.

    The local council of the Spanish municipality of Siero has handed out several 300 euro fines to local farmers because one of their cows mooed above the allowed decibel limit.

    The 300 euro (£261/$293) fine was handed down to local farmers in the municipality after a neighbour complained that one of the cows kept by the farmers was mooing too loudly.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sounds like that neighbor took the bull by the horns.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Some people will milk anything

      • Rat on a train

        even magnesia

      • The Other Kevin

        If that farmer were one of us Glibs, that neighbor would get creamed.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or buried under a Stampede of puns. It’s as if we’re a one trick pony.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Swiss will eventually mosey on over while we are chewing the cud and will not be amoosed

      • ron73440

        It would behoove you people to stop being so easily amoooosed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        All these cow puns will make Swiss….cheese

      • R.J.

        You are yanking on the nipples of fate and shall produce a bitter milk when Swiss arrives.

    • juris imprudent

      I’d say that neighbor was as useless as tits on a bull.

    • R.J.

      Tall Thin Spaniard what Lurks on this Site can never go home. His speaking voice is above 55 decibels.

    • Gender Traitor

      …one of their cows mooed above the allowed decibel limit.

      I suppose it makes sense, and it may even be karmic: obviously Meat Loaf has been reincarnated as a cow.

  11. Ownbestenemy

    I see we are back to “No beds” and “patients in the hall ways!”

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hospitals-overwhelmed-rsv-pediactric-patients-respiratory-virus/

    “We’re having patients in hall beds,” Brancato said. “We’re using our orthopedic room. We’re using other treatment rooms as much as possible to take care of everybody.”

    Do people constantly rush their children to the hospital for every little cough???

    • The Other Kevin

      Some do, definitely.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Weird to me. I get if you have a compromised child, but I am guessing these are parents still in abject fear of covid

      • The Other Kevin

        My brother’s first wife used to take their son to the doctor for every little thing. That was like 25 years ago. It’s a helicopter parent thing.

      • ron73440

        When I was 10 or so, I had a cut on my knee that got infected. I didn’t get taken to the hospital until it was swollen enough for the Dr. to remove 3 syringes worth of pus.

        Then he found a good sized splinter inside.

        I am not quite that bad, but it was very rare to take my kids to the hospital.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah. I have taken my one son to the hospital only after all learned home remedies did not break the fever. It’s a waste of resources that an otherwise really sick child needs.

      • CatchTheCarp

        When I was 12 I put my arm thru the storm door glass when a gust of wind blew the door towards me. I got a big curving cut from above my elbow to the middle of my forearm with lots of bleeding. My mom was freaking out and told my dad to take me to the ER. He said the ER was for emergencies and butterfly stitched it with medical tape. I never saw doctor for it. It healed but left a big scar.

    • ron73440

      Do people constantly rush their children to the hospital for every little cough???

      What is wrong with you?

      Why are you not panicking?

      • EvilSheldon

        I’ve seen the end results of people panicking, just a little too often.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I was brought up, ad I suspect many of us have, life or limb is about the only time to see a doctor.

    • Fatty Bolger

      They’re asking people to get their flu shots now — while it won’t prevent you from getting the flu, it could make your symptoms mild enough where you wouldn’t need to go to the emergency room.

      🤦‍♂️ Vaccines don’t stop transmission. And Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Jesus….they are now just saying “put this shit in your body….doesn’t do anything probably, but just do it”

        I suspect these are people who use emergency room as preventative health care

      • Grosspatzer

        Gee, I wonder what the vaccine distribution is for these kids. Seems to me that parents most likely to panic over sniffles would be the ones who rushed out to get their 5 year olds jabbed. But what do I know, I am not a scientist.

      • ron73440

        I hadn’t thought of that.

        Unfortunately, the only way we will find out it does lean toward the kids that got jabbed, is if the corporate media doesn’t mention their vax status.

  12. Ownbestenemy

    Success with the stupid equipment move. Drawing had a pin that on one end said pin 5 and the other said no connected. So we built as described. Makes no sense cause if it isn’t connected even as a drain wire, why have it connected on one end and then to nothing, not even ground?

    Sniped the wire from the pin and magically back! Fucking engineers

  13. PutridMeat

    Ah, Fates Warning, one of my favorites. You seem to like a certain period. Like “No Exit”. One of the bands that has gotten better with age in my opinion. Their last several albums are among their best, “Darkness in a Different Light” and “Theories of Flight” especially. “Long Day Good Night” hasn’t really grabbed me though. Jim Matheos is depressing as a lyricist, but damn good song writer.

    On stoicism – is Forrest Gump a Stoicists without knowing what he is?

    • ron73440

      You seem to like a certain period.

      I have been accused of being stuck in the ’80’s musically.

      I wore an Iron Maiden shirt to my brother’s birthday party and one of his friends said that would have been awesome for the 80’s night party they had a few weeks ago.

      I told him, “Every night is 80’s night.”

      • Sean

        I told him, “Every night is 80’s night.”

        Heh.

      • Tundra

        Damn straight.

      • Ted S.

        It is for Fourscore.

    • EvilSheldon

      Prog nerds unite!

    • ron73440

      I saw them in concert in 2004, them and Flotsam and Jetsam opened up for a double bill of Queensryche and Dream Theater.

      It was an amazing evening.

      • EvilSheldon

        That wasn’t up in Baltimore at the old Pier 6 Pavillion, was it?

      • ron73440

        It was when I was stationed at 29 palms, so it was either San Diego or LA.

        I think it was LA.

      • EvilSheldon

        Ahh. Must have been the same tour, ’cause I saw that exact lineup at Pier 6 in 2004. And yes, it remains one of the best live shows I’ve ever seen.

      • ron73440

        Dream Theater and Queensryche joined up at the end.

        My wife surprised me with the tickets when she picked me up from my Iraq deployment, the concert was 3 days after we got back.

        They had a bit of a sing off, and the guitarists went head to head.

        Geoff was the better singer, but it wasn’t a huge gap.

        Queensryche’s guitarist wasn’t in the same league as Petrucci.

        The finale was a joint rendition of Roads to Madness.

      • R.J.

        That is fantastic.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That is not surprising. In 2004, Chris DeGarmo was long gone.

  14. Rebel Scum

    That is quite the list of bullshit.

    The U.S. House committee investigating the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol formally issued a subpoena to former President Donald Trump (R) on Friday.

    “As demonstrated in our hearings, we have assembled overwhelming evidence, including from dozens of your former appointees and staff, that you personally orchestrated and oversaw a multi-part effort to overturn the 2020 presidential election and to obstruct the peaceful transition of power,” the letter to Trump states.

    The letter makes numerous allegations against the former president, including:

    • Rat on a train

      They have to do something. They are running out of time.

      • The Other Kevin

        Yep. These hearings were a failure. Nobody gives a shit about them. And after the election, chances are they lose and this committed goes into the trash bin of history.

    • The Other Kevin

      All of it is based on “fraud” and “falsifying” things. It all hinges on him lying. But he truly believed, and does to this day, that the Dems cheated on that election. That’s not lying and it’s not fraud.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just respond as Truman did

    • Grosspatzer

      LOL. That article looks like a glibs pun thread, which one of you wrote it?

      We’ve dealt with concerning bumps like this before. While polls make it appear Oz is breathing down Fetterman’s neck, our hunch is that it’s a temporary growth and nothing more.”

      And so on.

      • R.J.

        That was so good. And accurate. I have been there, seen that. More like typical Dallasites, for those who live in Texas.

      • Tundra

        Holy shit!

        Part 1

      • R.J.

        Yes! I did not know you had missed those!

      • Tundra

        I had, and it looks like part 3 drops today.

        God damn are those good!

      • ron73440

        “Aren’t you gonna run after her?”

        “In a minute.”

        That was hilarious.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I used exactly that insult to talk about Newsome on this very forum months ago. I demand royalties!

  15. juris imprudent

    And speaking of the Bee.

    CDC Announces New Initiative To Promote Homeschooling