Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Totem Like The Wolf

by | Oct 26, 2022 | Daily Links | 164 comments

reprinted with permission from the American Journal of Grotesque Medical Deformities (AJGMD)

 

AJGMD: So, first off, I’d like to address your recent name change. I think our readers would be very interested in your unique perspective.

Lump: First off, I didn’t change my name, I just started to want to be called by the name I have always considered to be my actual name.

AJGMD: But you were born Parotoid Gland Malignancy, correct?

Lump: I was assigned Parotoid Gland Malignancy at birth. But that is my deadname. It is very offensive for you to use it. I am also non-binary, if your readers care.

AJGMD: Birth?

Lump: Yes, five months ago.

AJGMD: So you are, technically, a minor.

Lump: Yes, but I do know everything my partner knows, so I’m as smart and knowledgeable as your average 12-year-old who has eaten quite a few lead paint chips.

AJGMD: Impressive. And you call John your “partner?”

Lump: Only because the bigots in the Pennsylvania State Senate refuse to allow us to marry.

AJGMD: Marry?

Lump: Pennsylvania refuses to recognize patient and malignancy relationships. Except, of course, for the normal kind when a man makes the mistake of marrying a woman. [laughs]

AJGMD: But John is already married. How hard is that for the two of you to deal with as a couple?

Lump: Gisele and I are quite close. We are currently composed as a throuple. And we occasionally welcome a trauma nurse into our bed for John’s safety.

AJGMD: Very progressive.

Lump: It’s 2022. All the old taboos should be swept away.

AJGMD: Even incest?

Lump: Incest? What are you talking about?

AJGMD: Many online commenters suggest that you are John’s twin he absorbed in the womb. Your… romantic entanglement would therefore be incest.

Lump: I’ve fought against this sort of lumpophobia my entire life. Let me clear this up once and for all: I am not a twin fetus that John Fetterman absorbed in the womb. I am my own person.

AJGMD: So if a surgeon opened your pus purse…

Lump: This interview is over.

[Lump removes microphone and leaves set]

Lump’s representatives contacted this reporter at a later date and explained that while Lump is Lump, inside is a small, fully-formed John Fetterman only 4 inches tall. They also insisted that them’s skin is very smooth.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HILLARY!

While we know your flesh vessel is a ripe 75, the nameless horror that ate your soul and shat out your black heart will live forever.


 

Look at this. What am I supposed to do with this? Satire is dead.

You’re doing a good job, buddy!


 

The Fetterman-Oz Debate Was a Rorschach Test

Fetterman used to talk one way, he had a stroke, and now he talks another way. In certain post-stroke interviews, with the help of captions and in the absence of a ticking clock, he has given strong answers to reporters and battled speculation about his overall unfitness to serve. Tonight, as debate moderators reminded each candidate of strict time parameters (“60 seconds,” “30 seconds,” “15 seconds”) Fetterman prioritized speed over lucidity, and his disjointed sentences made his struggles unmistakable. This evening, Fetterman may have lost whatever swing voters are left in Pennsylvania. And yet, he may have won over some voters who watched a man recovering from a stroke stumble through sentences on live TV and came away admiring his courage for debating at all.

Tonight’s hour-long exchange was, in some ways, a Rorschach test of comfort with disability. Viewers from outside Pennsylvania tuned in to the broadcast from a local TV studio in Harrisburg to hear the candidates discuss the defining issues of this election cycle—abortion, inflation, gun laws, illegal immigration, energy—but many people queued up the livestream to gawk at one of the candidates. Unfortunately, no disability accommodations—not even 70-inch television monitors for real-time captioning—can change how our society stigmatizes verbal disfluency. We are a culture of sound bites, mic drops, and clapbacks. To speak in any way that deviates from the norm is to summon ridicule and judgment. That’s already happening to Fetterman, and his campaign now faces an extraordinarily difficult situation.

Of all the shit takes of last night’s gruesome debacle, I think this might be the worse. The servile groveling, the toxic levels of cope, the sheer delusion of it. It’s a masterful piece of insanity in service of the denial of plain reality.


 

Band: The HU
Song: “Wolf Totem”
Album: The Gereg (2019)

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

164 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Evergreen tweet.

  2. DEG

    Yes, but I do know everything my partner knows, so I’m as smart and knowledgeable as your average 12-year-old who has eaten quite a few lead paint chips.

    🙂

  3. Shpip

    Fetterman prioritized speed over lucidity, and his disjointed sentences made his struggles unmistakable.

    Sounds like a Glibs Zoom session after everyone’s half in the bag.

  4. Count Potato

    How many shots do you think Joe gets in an average week?

    • Count Potato

      I’m thinking somewhere between competitive bodybuilder and diabetic racehorse.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That is a lot of shots.

  5. Count Potato

    “Viewers from outside Pennsylvania tuned in to the broadcast”

    How bored were these people they had nothing better to do?

    • The Other Kevin

      They wanted to see if the lump would talk.

      • Compelled Speechless

        It probably would have done a better job.

    • Ted S.

      Maybe they wanted to see the circus freak, since his handlers have been keeping him under wraps.

      • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

        FETT-MAN SMASH!!

    • Spudalicious

      I watched every second. It was spectacular television entertainment.

  6. Tundra

    And the afternoon of unspeakable horrors continues.

    Except for that video. That was rad.

    • The Other Kevin

      We have 6 more days until Halloween, and even longer until election day. Stock up on anti-nausea meds.

      • Lackadaisical

        It’s the last Wednesday before Halloween, so the worst might be behind us.

      • Count Potato

        We could still get Subaru Horror Theater. And I hope we do.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Good grief. That pic of Hillary screams “future serial killer”.

    • Surly Knott

      And she lived up to it.

    • Compelled Speechless

      She’s really more of a Charles Manson figure. She doesn’t do any killing herself. That’s what the cultists are for.

    • WTF

      I’m thinking more anti-Christ, like Damien from The Omen.

      • C. Anacreon

        I always thought it would be weird to be named as anti-anything. “We’ve decided to call our child “Anti-war”. Wouldn’t you always feel like people are defining you based on something else?

        “Anti-Christ” in particular. “Yes, I know I’m supposed to be the anti-Christ, but I’d prefer if everyone would just call me Bob”.

      • SandMan

        My thoughts also, creepy as shit.

    • Rat on a train

      Also, extremely lame posting that herself.

      • Stillhunter

        That takes a special kind of arrogance that few can muster.

      • Shpip

        Hubris is inexorably followed by nemesis.

      • Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

        Those whom the gods destroy, they first drive mad.

      • C. Anacreon

        Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    came away admiring his courage for debating at all.

    And others looked on in disgust and muttered, “Know when to say when.”

    Biden should have taught the Democrats that.

    • The Other Kevin

      I couldn’t bring myself to watch any of the videos. The descriptions are bad enough. I know, he’s an adult and can make his own decisions, but he’s also surrounded by people who could have told him this was a bad idea.

      Between him and Biden, the Dems just keep looking worse.

      • Compelled Speechless

        They could have pulled him months ago and been campaigning with a viable candidate. Instead they’re now going to try to guilt and shame the electorate into voting for someone who’s half-way to being a vegetable so we don’t hurt his feelings. I know politics breaks brains, but they’re still finding ways to shock me with how removed from reality they are.

      • The Other Kevin

        Basically any coherent person from Team Blue should have been able to win this race. It’s insane.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I consider lacking the basic leadership skills to acknowledge and accept that early on to be disqualifying in and of itself. Of course for the party apparatchiks, his disability and cognitive decline is the biggest selling point. They could only dream of having such a perfect army of passive, drooling, perfectly compliant drones voting exactly how they’re told.

      • juris imprudent

        Particularly given the R nominee.

      • hayeksplosives

        So if Fetterman wins, who’s really calling the shots once he’s in office? Is he just a rubber stamp at that point, or will “he” be introducing legislation too?

      • Tundra

        I thought they were glorious.

  9. Sean

    And like that, throuple is back in use.

    • Bobarian LMD

      What is known as an MFL in the trades.

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love the Hu!

    • WTF

      Hu’s on first?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    You know what I want to see?

    A meme of Biden, in Rambo regalia, pointing at a peace sign and calling it “the track of the American Chicken”.

  12. Compelled Speechless

    “Unfortunately, no disability accommodations—not even 70-inch television monitors for real-time captioning—can change how our society stigmatizes verbal disfluency.”

    This author must have been gunning for the “useful idiot of the year” award. It’s going to be competitive for the first time in years with Brian Stelter being decommissioned.

    • The Other Kevin

      There are plenty of disabled members of congress, and nobody makes it an issue. I just learned Tammy Duckworth is a disabled vet. But being able to comprehend language and speak is part of the job.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I have no problem with the physically disabled, but the mentally disabled is a whole other thing. Pretty soon its going to be a requirement for politics. As if being a sociopath wasn’t a scary enough requirement unto itself.

      • Gustave Lytton

        We already have retards, seniles, and stroke victims (Lujan) in Congress. What’s one more? There’s this indispensable man bullshit in American politics. All of them should resign out of shame or forced out if they have no honor. Same with Butt Glug and his bullshit paternity vacation. It’s a giant fuck you to the public and sanity.

        Same also with presidents. Way too much security and ass covering, to point where ordinary Americans (his fucking bosses) are inconvenienced by the lockdowns. His security should be a couple of bodyguards. So what if we lose another idiot? There are 400M better choices that can step up. Sic semper tyrannis.

      • Fatty Bolger

        His security should be a couple of bodyguards. So what if we lose another idiot? There are 400M better choices that can step up. Sic semper tyrannis.

        Not that you’re wrong about the 400M choices, but the instability caused by regular assassinations would not be a good thing.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Or a reminder that they’re not above accountability and they need to do a good job or we can Gaddafi them in the streets might actually be a stabilizing force. I for one am enthusiastically willing to give it a go.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Spencer Perceval would be a more appropriate model.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Guillotines and the stocks.

      • Count Potato

        FDR was elected President four times.

      • Shpip

        Remember when Dan Quayle’s or GW Bush’s malaprops and verbal jumbles were proof positive that they were imbeciles and unfit for office? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

      • juris imprudent

        IT’S DIFFERENT WHEN IT’S OUR IMBECILE!!!

    • Fatty Bolger

      Look, if you don’t vote for Fetterman, then you’re a hopeless bigot against differently abled people. Is that who you want to be?

      • hayeksplosives

        Fetterman post-stroke would probably score higher on any cognitive test than that guy who thought Guam was going to tip over.

  13. Tundra

    This dem strategy of last minute debates seems retarded. The true bleever early voters are already done and the righties are gonna do their thing. All you are doing is reminding a really important chunk of voters – two weeks ahead of elections – that your candidate is worse than herpes.

    • R.J.

      Not at all. The goal was keep him out of sight and get as many early votes in as possible before he got exposure.

      • Tundra

        Yes, but do the squishes in the middle vote early? No covid this time.

      • Chafed

        The hope is it’s too late to matter.

      • Compelled Speechless

        We need to hide all of the candidates as long as possible. The less familiar we are with our representatives, how they think, what they’re capable of or what skeletons they have in the closet, the better we can preserve democracy!

    • DEG

      That’s why the smart Democrats don’t debate.

    • Nephilium

      Well how can you know if you’ve truly got the populace under your thumb if you can’t rub their noses in it?

  14. Pine_Tree

    I was thinking about the term grotesque the other day, so I’m glad you started with that. It’s remarkable how much of the current public face of the Democrats is clearly and deliberately grotesque. Fetterlump, Abrams, everything with the bizarre transgender in-your-face stuff, abortion-uber-alles, etc.

    Everything they do is kulturkrieg – literally everything, with zero exceptions. And this public grotesquery is just showing how aggressive they are. They exist to push deformity, ugliness, lies, destruction, etc. And nothing else. Nothing.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I understand the impulse to champion underdogs and humanize the grotesque. Many of them deserve more respect than they get (except for most trans activists who just seem to be pathological attention seekers and provocateurs), but that doesn’t mean that they deserve leadership positions where their incompetency can lead to far-reaching and disastrous consequences.

      • Pine_Tree

        Not the same thing though. Being an underdog is not grotesque. Neither is being disabled, or different. And it’s not even just incompetence or something that’ll have bad outcomes.

        What I mean by truly grotesque is something more, and deep, and pervasive in its adherents. Wrong – wrong in every way – and wrong for the sake of being wrong, calling evil good and good evil, etc.

      • rhywun

        “Smash the system.”
        “Tear it all down.”

        Yep, that is the Dems’ motivation now. It’s sick.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I don’t want to tear traditional American culture down, that’s got some issues but it generally does get better for everyone as time goes on. It does so without the heavy handed “guidance” of government or the stern humorless lecturing of our modern cultural institutions.

        What I do want to do is tear down the establishment and burn it to the ground. It is corrupt beyond salvaging. The cancer is in charge now. It lives only to serve itself at the expense of everyone outside itself and will eventually kill it’s host even at the cost of it’s own existence. It is what is truly grotesque. SugarFree’s Lump stories are the perfect metaphor. The man has become the lump and the lump has become the man.

    • Suthenboy

      It is called demoralization. The donkeys are following the leftist tyrant playbook word for word, letter for letter.

      “It cant happen here!”
      Bullshit.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I’m thinking more anti-Christ, like Damien from The Omen.

    Or- I would accept the little girl from The Bad Seed.

    *That movie scared the bejeezis out of me when I saw it as a kid.

    • SugarFree

      The book is worse. She gets away with it all.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Everything they do is kulturkrieg – literally everything, with zero exceptions. And this public grotesquery is just showing how aggressive they are. They exist to push deformity, ugliness, lies, destruction, etc. And nothing else. Nothing.

    Politics as Grand Guignol.

    • Compelled Speechless

      It will be the most honest politics the world has ever known!

  17. rhywun

    a Rorschach test of comfort with disability

    Oh fuck off. I don’t care so much about that as I do the fact that he is a radical leftist.

    So yes, The Atlantic. Let’s “deal” with his “disability” and look at what he says. It’s shit.

    • juris imprudent

      Tell us all how Braddock is in its post-Fetterman incarnation.

    • hayeksplosives

      Has anybody noticed that the Texas Governor Abbot is in a wheelchair? And that Senator Dole guy.

      People have been ok with disabled politicians for a long time—it they can communicate, which is a two-way thing involving comprehension as well.

  18. grrizzly

    I watched this clip from the Oz/Fetterman debate. I had never seen Fetterman speaking before and honestly he did better than I expected after reading that he couldn’t connect two words. Neither candidate addressed why each of them changed his position of fracking. Oz spoke throughout his 60 seconds and the moderator didn’t press him on his statement from 2014. Fetterman, on the other hand, received a follow-up question.

    • Drake

      Selective editing.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I had never seen Fetterman speaking before and honestly he did better than I expected after reading that he couldn’t connect two words.

      I didn’t watch the clip you posted, but it looks like his fracking answer. That’s better than you expected?

    • Spartacus

      I wonder who took the picture. Selfies weren’t exactly a big thing in 1993.

  19. Count Potato

    “Top Republican demands FBI hand over information on Hunter’s ‘flirty’ Chinese secretary, 29, who worked for him when he partnered with the ‘spy chief of China’ – amid concern SHE had access to ‘Uncle Joe’s’ financial information

    DailyMail.com can reveal flirty messages between Hunter Biden and a young woman JiaQi Bao secretary who worked for him when he went into business with the man he called the ‘spy chief of China.’ Bao, then age 29, sent him opposition research to help Joe Biden’s 2020 election bid, wrote flirty and personal messages and ended up with Hunter’s military dog tags”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11354061/Comer-demands-FBI-hand-info-CCP-affiliate-JiaQi-Bao-business-deals-Hunter-Biden.html

    • pistoffnick

      Hunter is a vet?

      Hunter Biden received an administrative, rather than a dishonorable, discharge from the U.S. Navy after failing a drug test.

      Of course he did.

      • hayeksplosives

        The fact that he entered the military at all is proof that he was once intended to carry on the Biden political legacy.

      • Urthona

        Joe managed parenthood about as well as this country.

      • mikey

        The fact that the son of a senator got less than an honorable discharge shows how terrible a naval officer he was – it was more than a drug test.

    • R.J.

      Are there no women with attractive neck lumps?

      • UnCivilServant

        No.

        Turns out neck lumps are unattractive.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Until you put a nipple on them.

        Maybe that’s how you fix the Fetterman campaign?

      • Drake

        Our high school janitor had a lump on his head. We all referred to him as “tit-head” because we were in high school.

      • Spudalicious

        Why did I click on that?

      • slumbrew

        Because you hate yourself.

  20. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    I can understand someone voting for Fetterman because they think the GOP is worse, and he will vote Team Blue and/or he will be replaced by some other loyal Team Blue member. I can understand someone saying that you don’t really need to be mentally fit to be a Senator. Look an Mazie Hirono if you want evidence of that. But don’t tell me that Fetterman is just fine and I’m a terrible person if I disagree. That’s just plain insulting.

    • creech

      Should Fetterman win and need to be replaced (of course, he could hang on like Thurmond did or Feinstein does) the Democratic governor will name his replacement for the balance of his six year term. If Fetterman could hold out for two years, I think Gov. Shapiro would appoint himself Senator (or former Gov. Wolf, if he agreed to not run for re-election and step aside for Shapiro. Shapiro is known to have Presidential ambitions!

      Someone wanted to know why Oz changed his position on fracking? Oz made the remarks about 4 years ago and he qualified his opposition pending reports as the the safety of fracking. Those reports have come in and – except for those obviously slanted by the PIRG-type groups – show that fracking is safe when proper precautions are taken to keep the solutions out of the water supply. Fetterman offered no reason for his change of position, leading one to believe it is both political and temporary. I doubt we will see Green Party types denouncing him.

    • slumbrew

      *Hank Johnson waves “hi”*

      • Bobarian LMD

        +1 Capsized Island.

      • hayeksplosives

        I should have read downthread.

    • KSuellington

      Hey Jaime.l, I think I forgot to ask you if you ever ended up making it to Leavitt Lake this summer and how you found the drive in. I loved it up there, next year I’m gonna go back and try for some Golden Trout at Ski Lake.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        It turns out the road was a lot rougher than I expected. I think there had been some thunderstorms that created a lot of ruts in the road. It turns out my buddy’s car didn’t have 4 wheel drive, and ours didn’t have enough clearance to make me comfortable on that road. We crossed the first creek and decided it was best to park and walk the rest of the way. Unfortunately one of our group has a hard time walking on uneven surfaces, so we only went about another 1/2 mile up the road on foot before eating lunch and turning around. It’s a beautiful location. I wish we could have at least hiked the rest of the way.

      • KSuellington

        Ah, too bad. Hope you can make it all the way next time. Yeah we went there the last weekend in July and while I was comfortable in my stock 4WD Tacoma, I would not have done it in our 4WD Nissan Pathfinder that has a lot lower clearance.

  21. KSuellington

    Get this lump outta my head.
    Seriously, I’ve had that song in my head for a couple of weeks now since the SugarFree Lump post.
    Fetterman is toast and it’s gonna be a Dem bitch slapping. The best part of it will be that they helped get the MAGA candidates elected themselves by throwing money to their campaigns during the primaries. There is gonna be a boatload of proggie tears coming two weeks from last nite.

    • creech

      Toast? A million Pennsylvanians already mailed in their votes. There is absolutely no provision for retracting one’s vote. Caveat Emptor. Based on the ratio of who requested mail ins, those votes are about 4 to 1 Democrat. If Oz isn’t ahead when a new post -debate poll comes out, and Shapiro wins by 15%, you just may see Sen. Fetterman lurching around the Capitol “making them listen” (as his campaign ads claim).

      • R.J.

        Correct. That is also why Lump waited so long to debate. Most of those votes will be for him. He has a good chance to win.

      • KSuellington

        I’d say the current polls are off by 4-5% in favor of Lump. I expect in the next polls we see later this week that Oz will have pulled ahead by 1% which will end up being a 3% win in the end. I think we end up with a 53/47 Senate with Team Red ahead. Glorious gridlock for the next couple years.

      • The Other Kevin

        Gridlock and a few investigations are all I ask for.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Gridlock will have to do. You already know what the result of any investigations will be. If one of them can go to jail, they all can go to jail. Gotta keep the grift going.

      • R.J.

        *Raises glass
        “May the dildo of consequence greet those who mandated the shots!”

      • Compelled Speechless

        Why would you want to reward them?!?!?

      • R.J.

        To gridlock!
        *raises glass

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh yay!! Glorious bipartisan assfucking! Watch the rinos defect to help pass important legislation.

      • hayeksplosives

        Add in some election fortification, and it’s a Dem shoo-in.

        Dems have had plenty of time to figure out they need to cheat in Georgia, AriZona, Nevada (in which every registered voter got a mail-in ballot), and Pennsylvania.

        That’s what the Dems need polling for; to see how much margin they need to fill in.

      • DEG

        There are limits to fortification.

        I remember watching the results for the constitutional amendments in March 2021 on Wolf’s emergency powers. Counting all the ballots took days. Plus certification on top of that.

        I was in Pennsylvania for a swing dance the weekend after the primary. If I remember correctly, the ballot counting wasn’t done. At that point, the amendments had enough votes to pass. Many people and businesses in the part of PA I was in (western Montgomery County, southern Berks County, and northern Bucks County) were acting as if the State of Emergency and Wolf’s orders were over.

        Well, the amendments passed. If fortification is without limits, then the amendments would never have passed.

      • DEG

        Shapiro doesn’t win by 15%. I doubt he’ll even win by 10%

        If Shapiro wins, it’ll be less than 5%.

      • creech

        I’ll go for “over 5%” based on what I’m hearing from GOP insiders.

      • DEG

        Want to bet a bottle of booze on it?

    • Urthona

      I don’t see why his performance would be disqualifying anyway.

      All he’d have to do is show up and vote for whatever his party wants. It’s the world’s easiest job.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Isn’t it funny how that mentality is in no way a “threat to democracy” to these people. Why do we even have local representation? All anyone needs to do is check box A or B and sign on to everything the national party has determined that package contains. Democracy is apparently just completely giving in to one of two hive minds.

      • Urthona

        I would argue that if anything his obvious brain damage makes him MORE QUALIFIED to be a US Senator.

      • creech

        Also funny was the registered Democrat on tv saying that Oz was a “carpetbagger from New Jersey.” I’m sure she, and her fellows, were just as concerned when Hillary was lugging her carpetbag to New York.

      • hayeksplosives

        Very local elections, like school board, sheriff, county commissioner etc can make a big difference.

        State legislators make some difference, but Gerrymandering renders the election process meaningless.

    • Drake

      @metoo!

      Also channel-surfed past Leave it to Beaver and now I refer to him as “Lumpy”.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Oz reminds me a little of Eddie Haskel.

    • R.J.

      Totally. They are discussing Karens, not women.

      • hayeksplosives

        “ They will reject the party that wants to codify abortion rights, ban assault weapons, and restore voting rights. They will support the party of insurrection and its sympathizers which manufactures grievance, condones racism, and ardently clings to the lie that the 2020 presidential election must have been stolen because Donald Trump lost.”

        That’s downright insulting. Way to pigeonhole women, assholes.

        And where is this “condone” racism thing coming from? I’d argue this article condones sexism.

      • Suthenboy

        Actually they are concerned about their safety, their families safety and their ability to feed their families and pay their mortgages. You demoralized asses just keep telling yourselves that.

      • Count Potato

        You’re only saying that because you are white, or asian, or not really hispanic.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        “restore voting rights”

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Restore voting rights?

        Really? Where did they go?

      • Ted S.

        Long time passes.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah that one had me puzzled too.

    • Shpip

      White women voting for Trump was business as usual, even if few pundits wanted to admit it.

      Break it down between married women and single / divorced, and you’ll find your answer.

  22. Aloysious

    Wolf Totem makes me want to mount a horse and ride forth to spear malignant Lumps with my Lance.

    • slumbrew

      Man, these euphemisms…

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That’s worthy of Agile Cyborg.

  23. Tonio

    The auto-running, non-hosted, unmoderated, free-for-all Glibs Humpday Zoom will automatically self-start at 8:00 Eastern. WebDom set this up months ago, and it still seems to work.

    If you have trouble getting in, login to your personal Zoom account/app/thingie; this thing is on autopilot, there is nobody who can override the settings on the doomsday machine.

    • R.J.

      Yay!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Billionaires are destroying democracy

    House Democrats scrambling to keep pace with the onslaught of late-arriving Republican super PAC dollars are again turning to billionaire Mike Bloomberg for help in the closing days of the midterms.

    Bloomberg, the former New York City mayor, is sending another $10 million to the House Majority PAC, an adviser told POLITICO. The donation comes as Democratic leadership labors for more dollars to protect seats and avert a massive red wave.

    “He has a long-standing relationship with Speaker Pelosi, was aware of the party’s current needs, and wanted to step up again,” Marc La Vorgna, a Bloomberg spokesperson, told POLITICO.

    Bloomberg has had a less visible role on the national political scene this cycle after unsuccessfully running for president in 2020. But La Vorgna said he is heavily invested in maintaining Democratic control of Congress, after helping to flip the House in 2018.

    Oh, wait. Bloomberg is one of the good guys. Saving democracy from those rat bastard Republicans.

    • rhywun

      That’s former “Republican” mayor of NYC to you. 🙄

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      Bloomberg is near the top of my list of “narcissistic psychopathic shitheads that we’d be better off if they died in a freak golfing accident “

    • Count Potato

      Funny how technology advances, counting votes takes longer and longer.

      • Drake

        I vaguely remember watching Jimmy Carter’s victory speech on election night, before my parents sent me to bed.

    • rhywun

      In response to comments that voters should hold onto their mail-in ballots and turn them in to their local board of election on election day blah blah blah

      JFC.

      How about… oh, I dunno – vote on election day? I know, crazy.

  25. Count Potato

    So which movie is tomorrow night?

    • R.J.

      Double feature! “Sator” and “Intruder”. Something old and something brand new.

      • Ted S.

        I was running through my box guide, and for those with TCM, this Sunday at 8:00 PM ET they’re showing Michael Powell’s Peeping Tom, a truly creepy movie if you haven’t seen it before.

        Ooh, and for the Billy Idol fans, Eyes Without a Face is on at 4:00 AM Monday.

      • R.J.

        Nice! I will be so busy this Halloween I may miss all the movies! I’ll be on the road until the 31st. If I was to mention a great creepy classic movie on OTA, it would be “Devil Doll.” That movie creeps me out. The ending with the ventriloquist mannequin…

        Svengoolie is doing “Count Yorga” as his Halloween movie.

      • Tonio

        Links, R.J., links.

        Now I’m sad. All those floggings and tolchockings and you din’t learn nothing.

        You give a guy a weekly slot and he forgets about the three precepts of Glibs:

        1) Always link.
        2) Never speak ill of the squirrels.
        4) “Three, Sir.”

      • Count Potato

        Intruder (1989)?

      • R.J.

        Yes. By a guy who worked with the Raimi brothers!
        I apologize Tonio, but I am already traveling and I can’t do links right from the Tubi app. I will cut a branch and report for beatings after I return in November.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    And where is this “condone” racism thing coming from? I’d argue this article condones sexism.

    I couldn’t help noticing her outrage and disgust at the women who voted for President Pussygrabber, but she didn’t seem to have a problem with them nasty old white bitches when they voted for notorious sexual aggressor Bill Clinton.

    • DrOtto

      NPR on Bill Clinton back in the day – Powerful men have powerful appetites.

  27. Shpip

    I heard one wag describe the Pennsylvania senate race as “Strokey and the Turk” and now I can’t get that damn Elton John song out of my head.

    S-S-S-Strokey and the Turk

    Hey kids, shake it loose together
    The spotlight’s hitting something
    That’s been known to change the weather
    We’ll kill the fatted calf lump tonight so stick around

    Strokey (Strokey) Strokey (Strokey) and the Turk

    • rhywun

      At least it’s a decent song.

    • Tonio

      Seek. Help. Now.

      Or, failing that, write it all down and slip it through the Mail Slot in the Glibs HQ front door.

  28. Zwak. who's suit is as ragged as his nerves.

    So, I was gone today, did I miss anything? Well, better check what SugarFree put together for the approaching holiday.

    Ho. Lee. Shit. Dude, that is gruesome! And funny. And Gruesome!

    To think, it’s HRC’s spawn day.