A Poor Substitute for Sugar Free’s Afternoon Links

by | Nov 16, 2022 | Daily Links | 248 comments

Hi guys, I’m pinch-hitting for SugarFree, and like the World Champion Houston Astros, our pinch-hitters do just enough and strike out often. I’ve started trying to stretch my stomach in preparation for Thanksgiving next week. I need to bring my A-game. My parents are hosting for the first time in years, and even though I like my spatch-cocked turkey, there’s a huge difference between eating my cooking and eating mom’s cooking.

I hear Skeletor was all set up to challenge Cocaine Mitch for Senate Majority leader before, well, neither was eligible for that position. Looks like McConnell is going to get some payback.

I didn’t realize we had a Jeopardy! clue writer among us. Insensitive and tasteless is our brand!

These assholes let a bunch of tiny monsters loose to protest… something. 10 kilominks will decimate the local small animal and bird population. Good job you tree-hugging morons.

Fed suffers wound from dropping an unholstered firearm at a wine-tasting. I’m sure anyone with a carry permit in Florida could have this happen.

A pretty little song for those of you old enough to remember mix tapes.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

248 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Premature linkage?

    • Brett L

      0300/1500 – It’s still 3:00 server time, just the wrong side of the meridian.

      • UnCivilServant

        The timestamp of his comment implies this popped up briefly at an earlier time.

      • Brett L

        I set them to publish at 0300 instead of 1500 and didn’t catch it for a while.

      • Rat on a train

        UTC!

  2. Count Potato

    Get well, SugarFree

  3. UnCivilServant

    10 kilominks

    What’s that measure in US Standard units?

    • juris imprudent

      100 or so full length coats.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Count Potato

        So 10,100 Dalmatians?

      • UnCivilServant

        Only if you’re using Imperial Dalmations. Troy Dalmations have a different conversion factor.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Now you are minksing metaphors.

      • juris imprudent

        We’d best di-sable this before Swiss skins us.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    My mule doesn’t like people laughing at him.

    • Pope Jimbo

      nowadays the donkeys laugh at us

  5. Count Potato

    “As a result, some 25,000-40,000 mink were released from the cages.”

    That’s a lot of fucking minks.

    • UnCivilServant

      The roadkill catastrophe on the next line was also somewhat impressive

    • Count Potato

      “while so many minks died crossing a nearby road that a plow was enlisted to help remove the carcasses”

      Damn.

    • Sean

      That’s gonna be a lot of minks fucking, too.

      • Tonio

        Yep. They are going to not only wipe out the local prey population but compete with wild populations of weasel, polecat, otter, etc.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Weasels, huh? I didn’t think they released them in DC…

    • Tundra

      Ohio officials have issued a warning after thousands of carnivorous minks were released during a break-in at an Ohio farm on Monday night.

      Aren’t all minks carnivorous?

      • Suthenboy

        They all white. They won’t last a week. Prepare for raptors so fat they can barely fly.

      • Shpip

        Those are going to be some stoat birds.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They all white.

        He said carnivorous, not caucasian.

      • Rat on a train

        He meant they are privileged and will oppress the other animals.

      • R.J.

        Raycist!

  6. Nephilium

    Definitely not the song I was expecting, I was waiting to find out that this was a cover.

  7. Mojeaux

    “Spatchcock” is the best. word. ever. Also best way to roast a bird.

    • The Other Kevin

      Correct on both counts.

      • Mojeaux

        One year I put the bird on a bed of apples, oranges, cranberries, onions, and a celery stalk here or there.

        Very sweet gravy. 0/10 do not recommend.

    • Tundra

      I switched to quartering and cooking to temp.

      Perfect breasts and succulent thighs.

      • Brett L

        Perfect breasts and succulent thighs.

        Can you introduce me to her?

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Just ask Winston.

      • The Other Kevin

        I have been known to quarter a turkey and smoke it.

      • Tundra

        Being able to yank the breasts early is a definite plus.

      • Sean

        o.O

      • Tundra

        Yep, and when the juices start running down the thighs, it’s time!

      • The Other Kevin

        I usually give the breasts, thighs and legs a nice dry rub before I expose them to the heat.

      • Pat

        Does smoking the turkey give you a quicker tryptophan high than eating eat?

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        I generally stick to Camels.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I smoked the turkey on the grill for the past several years.

        No more, I’m done with it all. This year the turkey will be a tenderloin or rib roast.

      • Tundra

        Good man!

        I fucking hate turkey. Probably rotisserie a rib roast again this year.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Nice. Do you use a rotisserie grill attachment? I’ve been trying to find a decent rotisserie without much luck for roast chickens. Seems like Ronco was on to something but no one else ran with it.

      • Pat

        I’ve got a Ronco rotisserie I’m probably going to end up throwing away since nobody seems to want to buy it for 10 bucks. My idiot dad bought one when they first came out, sold it when we moved, bought a George Foreman rotisserie to replace it. Sold it the next time we moved. Bought the current Ronco model used, and here I am getting ready to move and discarding it again…

      • Tundra

        I have a Napoleon gas grill with the rotisserie, including an infrared burner. It’s amazing.

        If you have a Weber kettle there are many options for rotisserie attachment. Weber’s is pretty spendy, but this aftermarket one looks decent.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks for the link. I have a barrel charcoal grill with a firebox. Can’t remember the brand. I’ve looked at some aftermarket rotisseries for it, but ehh. Nothing really stood out. It’s been awhile though so might be time for another look.

  8. kinnath

    Always use a fucking holster. Use a pocket holster.

    • Drake

      I’m wondering what kind of pistol he was carrying that would fire when dropped. Most striker fired guns have trigger safeties. Maybe a cocked single or double-action? He’s an idiot either way.

      • Brett L

        My guess is he fumbled it and caused it to discharge as he was trying to catch it by activating the trigger.

      • Sean

        #metoo

      • Drake

        More likely – the Plaxico Burress school of mishandling firearms.

      • EvilSheldon

        Good guess. Or, he was just drunkenly fucking with the gun and fired it, and the, “I dropped it!” is just Agent Dumbfuck trying to save his job.

        The world may never know. Or care.

      • R.J.

        He thought it was a lighter

        #ChiefInspectorDreyfus

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        👆

    • Gender Traitor

      For no good reason, I first read the link text as “upholstered.” Maybe if the gun HAD been upholstered, it wouldn’t have gone off when dropped.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        I prefer Corinthian Leather for my gun upholstery

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Sometimes you just need to pleather yourself.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      Not sure how state laws apply to a fed, but carrying in a bar is prohibited in Florida.

      • slumbrew

        King’s Man, no such prohibitions for him, I’m sure.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    One Twitter user called the clue “rude” and “insensitive.” Others called it “tasteless.”

    I would also have accepted “heinous” “horrific” or “ghastly”.

    *tunes tiny violin*

    • The Other Kevin

      Apparently you all have had an effect on me. I read that story earlier and didn’t get that I was supposed to be shocked or something.

    • Bobarian LMD

      What are reasons I won’t go camping with my wife for $800, Alex?

  10. The Late P Brooks

    You could make a mink coat for Oprah with that many.

    • Brett L

      Maybe even Lizzo.

      • slumbrew

        Let’s not get carried away.

  11. Pat

    Fans are criticizing the mention of Laundrie, who was the primary person of interest in the disappearance of his fiancée, Gabby Petito. Laundrie confessed to killing Petito in a notebook before taking his own life. […] One Twitter user called the clue “rude” and “insensitive.” Others called it “tasteless.”

    First of all, is anyone else exceedingly tired of seeings reporters for national news media copy-pasting a few random assblasted whinging pricks on Twitter as if they represented the groundswell of popular opinion?

    Secondly, does anyone else think that in the “shout your abortion!” era, complaints about the tasteless insensitivity of including the name of some random murderer who mercifully spared the taxpayers the expense of trying him are just a wee bit overwrought?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Makes Jeopardy sound more interesting to me.

  12. Ted S.

    These assholes let a bunch of tiny monsters loose to protest… something.

    What do you expect from Ohioans?

    • Nephilium

      Well, they were north of Columbus, so I can’t call them Kentuckians.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Nobody in Kentucky wants that section neither.

    • creech

      Pennsylvanians only set one monster loose on the U.S. Senate.

  13. Ted S.

    I get a blank page on that Politico article.

    • Tonio

      Oh, look at Mr. I. Reed Lynx, here.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        I think in this case its “I reed the minx”

  14. DEG

    Get well Sugarfree.

    Doral police said the agent was attending the event when his unholstered gun fell to the floor, causing it to fire one gunshot.

    “unholstered”. Let me guess, he just shoved the pistol into his waistband?

    • Bobarian LMD

      “Unholstered” sounds a lot better than “He was drunkenly waving it around, when it mysteriously fired itself!”

      But “unholstered” would still be technically correct in that case.

    • waffles

      I have a personal rule when handling a gun in a place where I do not intend to shoot. The gun is either unloaded or holstered. My guess is he was handling it, dropped it, and caught it inside the trigger guard. Seems like the rule about not catching a falling knife should definitely apply to guns.

      Guns that go off when dropped are incredibly rare but you wouldn’t think so by the number of police types that manage to have it happen to them.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    If mink is spotted,” they wrote, “call Lion Farms or a nuisance trapper so the animals can be recaptured by experienced handlers.”

    It takes a trained professional to put part of a White Castle burger in a hav-a-hart trap.

    • Ted S.

      What if they’re striped instead of spotted?

  16. Tundra

    I made the best mixtapes.

    Thanks for the lynx, Bret. The Jeopardy one made me laugh out loud.

  17. Timeloose

    “Doral police said the agent was attending the event when his unholstered gun fell to the floor, causing it to fire one gunshot.”

    I’m calling BS.

    What kind of shitty Saturday night special pistol does this? Most if not all modern striker fired pistols and most hammer fired pistols have a mechanism, to prevent this. Hell a GP-100 revolver has a method to prevent this from happening.

    • Pat

      There seems to be a defect in a lot of pistols that causes them to randomly fire in ways that defy the laws of physics when wielded by agents of the state or has-been B-list actors.

    • Suthenboy

      Yep. his finger was on the trigger.

    • Count Potato

      “a GP-100 revolver has a method to prevent this from happening”

      Revolvers without any safety won’t do that.

      • Threedoor

        My GP 100 has a tendency to lock up when using double action. About 1:100.

    • Not Adahn

      A SIG P320?

  18. DEG

    NH recount news part 1:

    Another New Hampshire House seat has flipped from a Republican to a Democrat following a recount. With more than a dozen recounts left to go, this shrinks the Republicans’ majority to just two seats.

    • Michael Malaise

      “On Monday, Democrats picked up a seat in Manchester after Democrat Maxine Mosley prevailed in a recount over Republican incumbent Rep. Larry Gagne. Mosley finished 23 votes behind Gagne on Election Day; during the recount, Mosley gained two votes while Gagne lost 22.”

      Totes securest.

      • Michael Malaise

        So, she needed 24 to win and got … 24 net votes?

  19. DEG

    NH recount news part 2:

    A recount of the Rochester Ward 4 New Hampshire House race resulted in a tie Wednesday, putting an additional Republican seat in question as the party now holds just a one-seat advantage.

  20. B.P.

    “Fed suffers wound from dropping an unholstered firearm at a wine-tasting. I’m sure anyone with a carry permit in Florida could have this happen.”

    Let us not forget this Fed dunce doing the funky chicken…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AXSzybhZd0

    “…an unintended discharge occurred.” Always stay on message, po-po.

    • Compelled Speechless

      In case anyone was going to make the mistake of thinking that the Rs would learn a single thing from the midterms, this should dissuade you of that notion. I will file this under proof that the GOP is merely controlled opposition.

      • juris imprudent

        McConnell is a LOT like Pelosi, death is the only way for them to release their grip on power.

      • Fatty Bolger

        How is he supposed to maximize that sweet Ukrainian lucre, if he’s not minority leader?

      • R.J.

        He must have blackmail on every senator to get that. He sucks ass.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      The decrepit old fucker controls the purse and he is obviously unafraid to use it to his advantage.

    • Urthona

      He only won 37 to 10 which is a lot less than I expected, though still terrible.

  21. DEG

    NH recount news part 3:

    In his first election as Secretary of State, Dave Scanlan will oversee 31 recounts of races in last week’s midterm election. That is a 50 percent increase over the 20 recounts then-Sec. Bill Gardner oversaw in the 2018 midterms.

    Also, larger is the margin of victory in many of the races being recounted.

    Democrat Melanie Levesque, for example, lost her race against incumbent state Sen. Kevin Avard by nearly 700 votes. And yet after the votes were tallied, she announced her plans to have the ballots recounted.

    Republican Lou Gargiulo lost to progressive Rep. Debra Altschiller by 3,656 in the Senate District 24 race. And yet he is asking for a recount, too.

    • The Other Kevin

      Just recount until you win seems to still be the Dem strategy. What a joke.

  22. DEG

    Update on NH State Rep Laughton’s arrest

    Laughton is charged with stalking a woman in violation of a civil restraining order, according to Hudson police. Laughton, and her spouse, were unavailable for comment about the arrest.

    At least one House Democrat came to Laughton’s defense on Twitter. Rep. Timothy Horrigan (D-Durham) likened the stalking charges to a victimless crime.

    “She’s gotten into a lot of trouble over the years & she keeps getting into trouble, but she’s basically a good person,” Horrigan tweeted. “She’s not violent or abusive, or harmful to anyone other than herself.”

    • Lackadaisical

      I can’t believe NH was once near the top of my list of where to move to.

  23. Mojeaux

    I have always wanted a full-length white mink coat. Still do.

    • B.P.

      Would you settle for one with tire tracks all over it?

      • Mojeaux

        I could make it work.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I’m wondering what kind of pistol he was carrying that would fire when dropped.

    Don’t (didn’t) those new Government issue Sigs have an issue with going off when dropped?

    • Tundra

      P320 I believe. I think it’s fixed.

      • Sean

        Lighter trigger shoe, with less mass and a slide modification.

    • Sean

      Recalled/redesigned. DHS does issue P320s, but I don’t suspect that to be the issue here.

    • kinnath

      p320

  25. Shpip

    Doral police said the agent was attending the event when his unholstered gun fell to the floor, causing it to fire one gunshot.

    Other than in the movies, does this ever happen with modern firearms?

    • juris imprudent

      Seemingly only with armed agents of the state.

      • Ozymandias

        JI – I was out and about, but I left a couple of links on the morning thread in answer to your request.
        If you use DDG “Jill Stein Recount Hillary” you’ll get plenty of articles without having to look to the second page.

      • juris imprudent

        Thank you.

      • juris imprudent

        So the Detroit article does not mention fraud – which doesn’t mean it wasn’t fraud, but it seemed incompetence was as likely. Oh I know, I’m just being naive, but I’m going by what the reporting was, and it wasn’t screaming foul. One question would be, how did the vote totals work down ballot – did Trump underperform any other Republicans on the ballot? That would definitely look more like cheating.

        As it turns out the state did an audit, perhaps you weren’t aware of that.

        The other source was mostly based on the Detroit article (and a link to a related article on that website was dead) but with lots of spin.

        2016 was supposed to be a blue wave, and it wasn’t. 2022 was supposed to be a red wave and it wasn’t. Maybe at least some part of the problem is in the expectations going in. When I did my little half-assed analysis on PA numbers (from ’12, ’16 and ’20), Trump actually won more votes in Philly in ’20 than he did in ’16 (and in ’16 he outperformed Romney in ’12).

      • The Hyperbole

        Is this the Wayne county thing again? It wasn’t fraud, and it wasn’t >100% of eligible voters. It was more ballots than people that signed in for in-person voting on election day*. It averaged 3 over votes per precinct (of the third that had over votes) and totaled less than 800 votes (IIRC). The other >100% vote claims that I remember turned out to be some idiot mistaking counties in Montana with counties with the same name in Missouri (or something, I may have the states wrong) and the one where Steven Crowder couldn’t read a spread sheet.

        *This somehow is used as a argument against mail-in ballots.

    • Not Adahn

      They still make series 70 1911s.

  26. Mojeaux

    @DEG, did I see you say you are now looking for a job? If so, I’m sorry, man.

    • DEG

      Yes. For economic reasons, the company I was working at shut down. Yesterday was my last day. I am looking again.

      Thanks! A recruiter has some prospects for me.

      • slumbrew

        Sorry to hear it – happy hunting

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • Count Potato

        Best of luck.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • Nephilium

        Good luck on the job hunt, sorry for the reason for it.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • The Hyperbole

        Can you finish drywall?

      • DEG

        No, and even if I could, that’s a bit of a far commute.

      • R.J.

        Please mail me your resume. I will look in my network for W@H in your skill set.

      • DEG

        Done, thanks!

      • Tonio

        Good luck, DEG.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Sorry to hear that. Good luck with the new leads.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • grrizzly

        I hope you’ll find a new job as quickly as you found this one.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

        My goal is to find something before I dip into savings.

      • Rat on a train

        What field?

      • DEG

        I’m a programmer. I work mostly on the back-end (not a euphemism) and infrastructure.

      • slumbrew

        Hit me up at my handle at protonmail.com – we still have a bunch of openings and almost everything is WFH if you like (and/or you can commute to Cambridge if you really want to get out of the house).

      • DEG

        Message sent. Thanks!

      • Rat on a train

        I can look on our jobs board for something. The subsidiary I work for is fed contracting but the board includes jobs with our parent. The company will hire to the bench for good candidates.

      • Rat on a train

        A lot of open positions related to cloud engineering, IaC, DevSecOps, etc across fed, state and private customers. I need to find the right search terms for back end development.

      • DEG

        I did defense contracting a long time ago. I won’t work for the government or its contractors or be a contractor. Private is OK.

        It’s probably easier to do this via e-mail. TPTB have my e-mail address and can share it with you.

      • rhywun

        I’m a programmer. I work mostly on the back-end

        You can have my job.

        JK. Good luck.

      • Grosspatzer

        Happy hunting! Last time I was a victim of downsizing I wound up in a much better place, which would not otherwise have happened.

      • DEG

        Thanks!

        I liked this place. I had two offers when I started this last job. I turned down a place which offered more money to go to this place. It’s a shame it didn’t go anywhere – I thought we had a product with great potential.

        We’ll see what happens.

      • juris imprudent

        I thought we had a…

        Oh I’ve thought that too, a couple of times; worked out much the same. Good luck!

      • DEG

        Thanks!

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Good luck, brother!

      • DEG

        Thanks!

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      Sorry, man. All my contacts are Fed contractors. If you wan to sell your soul, drop me a line.

      • Rat on a train

        can’t be offshored

      • DEG

        I used to do defense contracting. I’m not going to work for the government or its contractors again. Thanks though!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Question-

    Anybody here use rechargeable batteries (AA, AAA)? My stupid little LED work lights churn through batteries like crazy. Especially when you neglect to turn them off.

    And the light gets too dim to be of any use before the battery is completely dead. Batteries are getting to be really fucking expensive, if you can believe that. Amazon charger/battery sets are looking pretty cost effective.

    • Count Potato

      I have a Nitecore charger that does 18650, AA, AAA, whatever. Amazon brand batteries are OK. So are EBL. Do not buy no-name batteries on Amazon, or anything too good to be true. Lots of fakes with impossible specs.

      • The Other Kevin

        So the Happy Fun Time Super Big Charge batteries from China are no good?

      • slumbrew

        Briefly considered that brand when I was looking for a spare 18v Makita. The price was certainly much better than the official batteries…

      • Tonio

        I tried one of those for the 18V Ridgid system (STFU, OBE!) and it was DOA.

      • Pat

        I have a Nitecore charger that does 18650, AA, AAA, whatever.

        Same here, the 4-slot i4 model. Bought it when I finally switched out my ancient D-cell Mag-Lites for 18650-powered Cree LED tacticool flashlights several years ago. Also comes in handy for my old digital camera that chews through AAs.

        I always stick to Tenergy for rechargeable batteries. They’ve yet to do me wrong. Been using their NiMH cells to replace the rechargeable sticks in my old paintball guns for close to 20 years now.

    • Mojeaux

      My experience with rechargeable batteries was from about 10 years ago, so take as many grains of salt as you need, but– I found them inferior to regular batteries because they either didn’t charge fully or they lost charge progressively more quickly with each charge. Also, I felt (don’t know for sure) that our rechargeables didn’t work quite as well as regulars. For instance, they’d be in a light, and the light wouldn’t be quite as bright with rechargeables (even new) as with regular batteries. Again, ~10 years ago.

      • Count Potato

        The chemistry has improved.

      • Pat

        they lost charge progressively more quickly with each charge

        That’s a universal and unavoidable problem with rechargeable batteries, regardless of type, although different chemistries are better than others. There is a finite number of charging cycles for any battery cell though, and the total cell capacity diminishes each time it goes through a charge/discharge cycle.

        they’d be in a light, and the light wouldn’t be quite as bright with rechargeables (even new) as with regular batteries

        Standard nominal voltage for NiMH and NiCad AA and AAA cells are typically ~1.2v per cell instead of the ~1.5v per cell for alkaline disposable batteries.

    • Suthenboy

      If you see the words ‘rechargeable battery’ make the sign of the cross with your fingers and say “Satan, get away from me!”
      They are shit.
      Yeah I am going to spend several hours recharging a battery I paid a fortune for for 10 mins worth of use.

      • Count Potato

        They work fine for me.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Have you thought about switching over to 20v work lights? May be cheaper. Even if not, you’d probably get better light and spend less time swapping batteries.

    • The Hyperbole

      My experience with rechargeable battery powered tools is that in the last few years the technology has advanced leaps and bounds over what they use to be, for instance I would have never used a cordless circular saw five years ago (no power and the batteries wear out too quickly), now it’s all I use. I would think the same technology would be used in rechargeable AA and AAA batteries but IANAEE so I could be wrong.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This. The work done for car batteries has translated to a lot of rechargeables.

        NiCd batteries were the standard until 10 years ago, and were very prone to the issues Mojo identifies.

        Lithium batteries have a much longer life cycle and better degradation that the old ones.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks for that. The death of the tomboy is one thing that has greatly pained me over this era of Must Have A Label. Quite frankly, girls as a whole are being erased.

    • B.P.

      Yeesh. This one calls for a Rodney Dangerfield eyeroll/loosening up collar.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Growing up as nerd, I thought nerds taking over the world was going to be awesome. Looking at these, pics and reading about this work culture, I take back everything I ever said about that. Please bring back the alpha males, I’m begging you.

    • Shiny Nerfherder

      There’s always somebody who will.

    • Pat

      I wonder if “undersexed” is a diagnosis that could get me on disability…

    • Urthona

      This seems really relevant to the story.

    • R.J.

      Exactly. Those ate some ugly looking elites.

    • prolefeed

      I’d fuck her – doggystyle, duct tape to keep her from talking, under an assumed name with a fast car waiting.

      If I weren’t married, that is …

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Again, ~10 years ago.

    That’s pretty much what I remember from my experiment with rechargeables (more like 35 years ago) for my Walkman.

    • The Other Kevin

      Wow, you’re dating yourself.

      :: fondly recalls enormous tape player Walkman that took four AA rechargeables ::

      • Pope Jimbo

        Wow, you’re dating yourself.

        If I don’t, no one else will

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Have you thought about switching over to 20v work lights?

    You mean cordless drill type? I had a cordless drill and I threw it away after the 500th time it fell off of whatever I set it on because it was so horribly unbalanced. I refuse ti have any of that junk. I see these youtube car guys with all that crap and I just shake my head.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      You’re missing out. As Hyp mentioned above, it’s come a long way. Two 5.0 batteries will keep my chainsaw running longer than I can work in a day on an 80 foot pine tree.

      The only non-battery powered tools I have now are a table saw and a shop vac.

      • Tundra

        I still break out my Milwaukee holeshooter if I’m using massive bits, but yes, 99% of my work is with cordless now.

      • Mojeaux

        Hm. I have always eschewed cordless anything because of power isssues. I can’t imagine a cordless drill with the kind of torque my dad’s 50yo Craftsman corded drill has.

        THAT SAID, I need a cheap cordless to scrub my bathrooms with. Do not like cords + water.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        The torque specifications are listed so you can compare. Probably not against a 50 year old drill (though I bet that info it out there somewhere), but easily across corded vs. cordless models produced today.

      • slumbrew

        The new stuff is impressive. It’s not going to replace your Hole Hawg if you’re sinking bolts through pilings, but not many of us are.

      • Tundra

        Exactly. My Milwaukee M18 brushless drill/driver set can handle just about anything.

        And the built in lights are genius.

      • Tundra

        You don’t need that much torque for the vast majority of household projects. Keep you eyes open for the sales coming up. I would get brushless, but it probably doesn’t make much difference if you are not using them daily.

        I am also brand agnostic. I’ve had DeWalt, Makita, Ryobi and Milwaukee and I don’t have anything bad to say about any of them.

        I do like having the combo: full size drill and an impact driver. Nice to not have to switch bits and gives you more project flexibility.

  30. Shpip

    Today in Florida Woman chronicles…

    I must admit, I have been in that condition where my vehicle was low on fuel. I’m ashamed that Florida Woman’s solution never occurred to me.

    • Pat

      Life imitates Grand Theft Auto?

      • Compelled Speechless

        You never run out of gas in GTA.

    • creech

      A redhead for Yusef?

      • Lackadaisical

        Looks like Miss Piggy in a wig.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      Dude! Trigger warning for that photo!

  31. Pope Jimbo

    We had several big mink ranches in my home town growing up. Those kids were a smelly lot. Even the kids from pig farms would turn up their noses at them.

    I think most of them went out of business because demand for coats plummeted. Not sure though.

  32. Pat

    And now for some positive news:

    Deaths from injuries, heart disease, suicide rise among millennials

    Americans aged 25 to 44 — so-called millennials — are dying at significantly higher rates from three leading killers than similarly aged people just 10 years ago, the latest government data shows.

    Looking at data collected between 2000 and 2020, the new report from the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) finds the biggest jump in deaths from injuries, heart disease and suicide occurred after 2019, when the pandemic began.

    Death rates among millennials for “unintentional injuries” — which would include drug overdoses, fatal accidents and homicides — “experienced the greatest annual increases from 2019 to 2020,” the new report found.

    As usual, race mattered: Between 2019 and 2020, Black Americans experienced a 47% rise in deaths from unintentional injuries; Hispanic Americans charted a 30% uptick; while White Americans saw a lower (but still significant) 23% rise in these fatalities.

    […]

    Overall, the national trauma of the pandemic seems to have had devastating consequences for the millennial generation, which the researchers say is now “the largest generation group in the United States.”

    In fact, “total [millennial] death rates in 2020 were the highest of the 2000-2020 period for all groups,” noted study authors Dr. Jiaquan Xu and Sally Curtin, both from the NCHS, in Hyattsville, Md.

    • Urthona

      Wooohooo!!

    • Tonio

      ‘“unintentional injuries” — which would include drug overdoses’

      Maybe.

      • R.J.

        The kids are so incompetent it may be deaths by pencil injury.

      • Shpip

        Probably a hefty dose of Big Altima Energy too.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Overall, the national trauma of the pandemic seems to have had devastating consequences for the millennial generation, which the researchers say is now “the largest generation group in the United States.”

    And the public health powers will panic even harder the next time an opportunity presents itself.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Thanks for the answers on the battery stuff, all. It’s pretty much what I expected to hear. Especially he part about improved performance.

    I originally was looking at rechargeable lights, and then I thought, “Why not rechargeable batteries for what I already have?”

    I’ll try not to get the absolute cheapest thing I can find on Amazon.

    • R.J.

      Regarding battery tools: not all are created equal. I have had excellent luck with Ryobi. DeWalt is also great. I have all of my original Ryobi batteries from the set my wife gave me 11 years ago. They still work well. I have all the tools too. And they get weekly exercise. Avoid Black and Decker like the plague.

      • Count Potato

        Black and Decker sucks now.

      • R.J.

        they also change their battery shape every couple of years si even if you wanted to keep the tool, you couldn’t find the right battery.

  35. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    You know what’s awesome about your next door neighbor being in pest control? You get the really good toxic mouse poison, for free.

    • juris imprudent

      We had a mouse that got into the dog food bag in the basement. The mouse succumbed to the peanut-butter-baited trap.

    • Tundra

      You’ll have to get rid of that when you get the doggo.

      Any updates on that front?

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        No word yet…I expect to wait months given my age requirements. I think there are a few people ahead of me in line.

        A pug actually came up recently in the right age range, but his needs weren’t suitable for my lifestyle. They wanted him in a busy home with kids and other pets.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        5 or less

        I’m not into terriers, at all. They’re like louder, more aloof, more independent cats

      • Tundra

        Lol.

        I’ve had herding dogs my whole life, Aloof and independent are kind of my jam.

      • rhywun

        I could go back in time and send her my mom’s five basset hounds if she’s looking for “not aloof”.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        OMG I love Bassett Hounds

      • Tundra

        BTs are the most not terriers of the terriers.

        There are two Basset Hounds in my neighborhood. If they were better hikers I would have one in a heartbeat. Such amazing pups.

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        The neighbor couple a few doors down has a puppy BT and she’s fucking adorable and social and snuggly. Hyper AF, but she’s probably only 6 months old or so

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        Oops…I was talking about Boston Terriers! LOL

      • Tundra

        Oh no. Not Bostons.

        They are great, but I need a big dog in a small package.

  36. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    This Darrell Brooks sentencing makes me want to commit self-immolation.

  37. prolefeed

    Politico and ABC just called the US House for the Rs.

    • Rat on a train

      Wait for the recounts. The Donks will find some “missing” ballots.

  38. Evan from Evansville

    Well. I spent a lot of time on the phone and have good shit. Have to get all my notes organized, but I’ve got plenty. I DO NOT have centerpiece art, yet. I think I can get around it, though. Christkindlmarkt in town this weekend. So I can get pics there. Tomorrow isn’t deadline day! So it will be spent writing. I may have to go up early on Fri and put something together…but actually…that isn’t that bad, the more I think about it.

    I am gonna doxx myself, aren’t I? Oh Well. Uh. Know that *I* think much/most of my work is shit right now. Lots of cogs in the machine I gotta run solo. *Shrug*

    There was a bomb threat at an elementary school here this morning. It was nothing and the kids went back in and finished their day. Hrm.

    • Tundra

      What the fuck?

      The fiancee must be connected.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Paid off by the insurance company? The medical examiner is an idiot who almost makes Senator elect Fetterman look nondainbramaged? God only knows.

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Paid off by the insurance company?

        👆👆

      • Shiny Nerfherder

        Or it was a cop that killed her.

    • rhywun

      wut

      “If she finds a basis to proceed with a homicide investigation, we will have to see if her office keeps it, it goes back to [Philadelphia District Attorney Larry] Krasner, or a special prosecutor is assigned.”

      Good luck with that. 🙄

    • Count Potato

      “woman stabbed 20 times — including 10 from behind”

      What did she know about the Clintons?

    • MikeS

      WTF. I thought there was an article a couple months back that they had reclassified as homicide? This whole thing is so fucking stinky. And it’s so infuriating that they keep fighting to keep it classified as suicide. It so obviously is not.

      • R.J.

        The medical examiner killed her. Where is No-Shit Sherlock Holmes?

      • MikeS

        It was Quincy, on the boat, with the champagne flute.

      • R.J.

        …And the electric carving knife.

  39. DenverJ

    First!

    • R.J.

      A fine first.

  40. CPRM

    My home internet has been down for over 3 hrs. I hope my phone signal is good enough to zooms tonight.

    • Tres Cool

      Sorry but I dont have the Cal score