The short film titled ‘The Legend of Soggy Bog’ was never produced. However some test footage has been found!
The entire script for the short is below. The ideas behind this film are heavily inspired by The Creature From The Black Lagoon. As such, much of the characterization is based on that classic film. So to give your brain some reference here are some stills from the production of the Hollywood monster movie.
The Legend of Soggy Bog
FADE IN:
EXT. WOODS—DAY
DALLAS BOYD, an overweight hick, is out in the woods hunting. As he stalks through the brush something catches his eye.
BOYD
What in tar nation?
Boyd peers between some branches to see the SOGGY BOG MONSTER moving Bigfoot like through the woods.
FADE TO BLACK
INT. Lawnjockey University of Advanced Science Lab—DAY
Freeze Frame of SOGGY BOG MONSTER seen through a microscope.
JACK
AMAZING!
JACK pulls the photograph out from under the microscope and hands it REDD
DR. REDD ALTAN, ELLEN ADARA and DR. JACK HANDY are standing in the lab with Dallas Boyd and ROBOT. The robot hands Jack a handkerchief, which he uses to clean his glasses, then hands back to the robot.
JACK
Thank you Robot, that will be all for now.
The Robot waddles back out the door.
JACK
(CONT’D)
Thank you for coming Mr. Boyd. I’m Dr. Jack Handy; I used to work at the old UFO research center on route 10, and these are my associates; Dr. Redd Altan and Ellen Adara.
REDD
This is a very intriguing case Mr. Boyd. If what you are saying is true it could mean that the Legend of Soggy Bog is real.
BOYD
Legend?
JACK
Ellen, could you get the book please?
ELLEN walks off to a shelf in the back of the room.
JACK(CONT’D)
What Redd is trying to say is, this discovery could be very important, and we simply must get our hands on it before those red commies do!
ELLEN returns with THE BOOK and hands it to JACK.
JACK (CONT’D)
Thank you. You see, according to this book there is a creature, identical to the one you described, of great power. Maybe even magic.
BOYD
You mean the bear-squid?
ELLEN
This bear-squid, as you say, is the Soggy Bog Monster. An ancient creature created by the Aztec Indians to protect their homeland.
REDD
It was only thought to be myth, until we heard your story.
JACK
Yes, we must go investigate this at once.
REDD
Do you think its safe Jack?
JACK
We have no choice! We have to do it for America. We can’t let the communists beat us to it!
A CU ON HIS EYES.
FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. WOODS—NIGHT
REDD, ELLEN, JACK and THE ROBOT are setting up a scientific camp in the woods.
JACK
Ok, this will be our base camp. My research shows that the creature should be somewhere within the designated search area.
REDD
How can we be sure?
JACK
Damnit REDD, you can’t argue with science!
ELLEN
Yes Redd, do not forget, Jack is the foremost scientist in the scientific study of advanced science.
JACK
I think Ellen is right. We need to stop bickering among ourselves. Redd, go check the perimeter parameters.
REDD walks away into the woods.
ELLEN
Jack, what do we do if we actually find this creature?
JACK
If we do it’ll be the biggest thing in science since the atom bomb. It will prove that all my theories are correct. It may even stop those Russian communists!
He stands very proud of himself.
ELLEN
Oh Jack, you are so smart about science.
JACK
Yes, I know.
FADE TO BLACK
EXT. WOODS—DAY
JACK and ELLEN emerge from the same tent as REDD rises from a sleeping spot on the ground. ROBOT stands guard.
JACK
Ellen, why don’t you cook us some breakfast?
ELLEN
It would be my honor.
REDD
Well, that was a quiet night.
JACK
Yes, a little too quiet.
REDD
What do you mean?
JACK
Didn’t you notice there were no natural sounds all night? Like the animals were afraid of something…In The Woods.
REDD
Yes, I see…
All of a sudden a bell or something begins to ring.
JACK
Hurry, that’s the perimeter alarm!
They all rush off into the woods.
EXT. WOODS-DAY
They all rush in and check some kind of sensor device.
JACK
Something definitely set the sensor off.
ELLEN
Yes, but what?
JACK
That I don’t know.
Just then The Soggy Bog Monster runs in and begins fighting with the robot. After a cheesy fight the monster wins and grabs ELLEN and runs off into the woods. REDD pulls out a gun and starts to aim.
JACK
No, you might hit ELLEN!
REDD
Damnit, it’s going to get away!
JACK
Maybe not!
JACK rushes over to the wrecked robot.
JACK
He’s definitely taken a lot of damage, but maybe, just maybe…Robot, can you understand me?
ROBOT
Yes.
JACK
ROBOT, do you know where the creature is going?
REDD
This is useless!
JACK
Just give it a chance man, IT’S SCIENCE!…Robot; do you know where the creature is going?
ROBOT
Yes.
REDD
Amazing!
JACK
Robot, where is it taking her?
ROBOT
To the Bog.
Then the robot collapses.
JACK
The bog, of course! Let’s go!
FADE TO BLACK
EXT. BOGG—DAY
The Soggy Bog Monster is offering ELLEN food of some sort (Ewok and Leia scene). REDD and Jack emerge from the woods.
JACK
ELLEN, are you alright?
ELLEN
Yes, he’s peaceful.
JACK
Well, let’s try to get you out of here.
REDD
Not so fast!
REDD pulls a gun on Jack.
JACK
What are you doing?
REDD
I need to take this creature back to my comrades in mother Russia. It is the way to our winning of the war!
JACK
My God! REDD, you’re a red commie!
REDD
Yes. Does this surprise you comrade? Mother Russia will wipe you American Pig Dogs off the planet with what we will learn from this creature.
JACK
No, it’s not a weapon man!
Just then the Soggy Bog Monster attacks REDD and after a hilarious fight kills him. ELLEN approaches Jack and he puts his arm around her.
JACK
I guess even dumb animals know communism is wrong.
JACK and ELLEN LAUGH as the monster disappears into the water.
FADE OUT.
I was told there would be no reading.
Go slow. Sound out the words. We have faith in you!
Yeah but did you see the size of some of those words? Like an eighth of an inch high, man.
f we do it’ll be the biggest thing in science since the atom bomb. It will prove that all my theories are correct. It may even stop those Russian communists!
Sounds like he’s overpromising.
Prescient.
Sciencey
Yup, my second most favorite line, after the one about animals hating communism of course.
There you go again, with the long words
“Jack” is the one that you got hung up on, isn’t it?
I’m taking that very personal, MikeS
Thank goodness you lost all your weapons in that boating accident.
The next sentence makes it even better.
So if the elections are all corrupt then how did Stacey Abrams lose? But if they’re not all corrupt, then… then… America is just fucking retarded? Goddamn it. I went long on tinfoil and lead. I should’ve gone long on cake.
They’re not all corrupt.
Some are corrupt.
Mmm…. cake.
Being ugly is not an asset.
Yes. I have no doubt there are some districts and precincts that heavily “fortify”, but the sad realization we all need to come to is that the vast majority of the voting public is uninformed and has been brainwashed into thinking they must pick a team and never, ever, forsake their team.
She can’t be governor of GA and President of Earth at the same time.
“Tar Nation”
Sounds like an asphalting road crew union.
Just make sure those commies die horrible deaths.
Say “damn dirty commies” with a strong Southern accent.
Dayum derty caw-mees
Nice, I even enjoyed reading the script.
Do they give Academy Awards for un-produced scripts? Because this should win one.
Agreed
I haven’t heard that song in a minute (as the kids say). Funny thing is, I like it.
It slaps.
I don’t think that you are using that word correctly.
If you’re referencing my usage of “slaps” for that particular song, I would agree.
If that is a dig at Collective Soul, I’ll slap you.
Lol. Best line:
I guess even dumb animals know communism is wrong.
Nice script and even nicer footage! Rip just did a podcast on monster movies that y’all might like:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7iT7mutZMVKR8UU3kIKhKo?si=9c951e4ac4394e71
Golden oldie from the Glib archives!
I see arrows on the page!
Yeah, that was jarring.
I went to get popcorn and when I got back the credits were rolling. What’s up with that? I want my money back.
Went to get popcorn is code for falling asleep in the middle, right? Consider it stolen.
In HS my date wanted to see “Grease”. I fell asleep at some point and woke up at the end of the movie with her gone.
Sounds like you got lucky.
, baby.
https://youtu.be/mtLpZWNyM0I
Well played.
Great fight scene, CPRM, I watched it twice.
Arrived at evening social just as it was closing up, hostess was kind enough to keep the taps on and pour a beer for each hand instead of the usual one at a time. Don’t care if it’s Coors Lite tonight. Soup and salad and football too.
Old Forester back in the room. Then slurred work emailing and drunken boating accident ordering.
And 80’s aidoru music!
https://youtu.be/RJzevZF7F08
I still have yet to try Old Forester. Thanks for the reminder. Will add to shopping list.
Wednesday night football?
Wednesday night foosball.
Don’t care. Wasn’t a great day at work.
Final results for the Hawaiian legislature: House 45D-5R, Senate 25D-0R
For the US Senate: There were almost twice as many spoiled ballots as votes for the LP candidate. I should try and find the one other person who voted for her in my precinct.
Thank God the lifestyle trumps the politics.
For the virtual reverse of that, NoDak results:
House 82R-12D
Senate 43R-4D
P365 or G43X MOS?
Sig
All the Sig people love their Sigs.
Makes sense to me.
001100010010100001011110101101110011.
*reboots Rhywun*
01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00111111
I can’t even.
https://www.rand.org/pubs/monograph_reports/MR1418.html
When did you become a Rush fan?
https://youtu.be/r3Dju2i4FZw
/scans…jumps to chorus…listens for 4 seconds
Good grief. That sucks even more than their radio songs.
Lol. Yes, but it’s on point.
001100010010011110100001101101110011
G43X MOS, if you’re willing to work on it a little. Bigger capacity if you run the Shield Arms magazines. Also, the G43 can accept a Striker Control Device, so it’s much safer to carry.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.6646039
Fuck everything
Wait why do I have an avatar now?
How long has it been since you commented? Back awhile ago there was a great avatar reset and many people were given a random weird one like yours.
Couple of months actually…
Your Mom thought it would fit you
OK. I thought it would have been weird to hack my account to just give me a avatar.
And was the reset done by WordPress or this site specifically.
The avatar is a gift. You can’t give it back.
Some sort of WordPress bloodbath.
Huh. The flu is back.
And parents are so hammered with fear that what normally would be treated at home is being brought into clinics and ERs…
Midterms are over…
Fuck Everybody
https://youtu.be/09CXtsWXWeQ
You know what pisses me off? The lockdowns ended 24/7 business hours in places they didn’t kill outright. There’s nothing open.
I’d get carpal tunnel typing out just the stuff I know.
Did the lockdowns do that? Or did whatever the hell is going on in the employment world do that? I mean, I know that the lockdowns were the genesis, but why does it still persist*?
*general question for the universe, not aimed specifically at you
Fight for 15 (LOL that seems quaint), the Rent is too damn High, $7 for eggs, “sorry, your package is delayed”, and on and on… it seems all tied together.
I.e. the system is broken.
Music to make tinfoil hats by
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw6q79glAUo
Anecdotally; I work at a manufacturing company. Pre-COVID, we were starting assemblers (unskilled entry level) at $17, I think. And above average benefits. We are currently at $18.50 and competing with fast food joints who have suddenly gone to $18. This is in North Dakota. Fast food workers starting at $15/hr was a fucking pipe dream 4-ish years ago.
That explains retail prices going up. What I don’t get is where are all the workers? Wages skyrocketed in a couple years, and yet nobody wants to work. The unemployment gravy train is over (at least here) so that’s not it. I just don’t get it. More married couples can now afford one spouse to stay home? I don’t know.
Same problem. We’re losing new people at the low end to fast food/similar and high end to deeper pocketed similar employers (not necessarily direct competitors either). Also seeing a number of end of career folks deciding to just pull the plug rather than sticking around another 5-10 years.
Jeff Tucker predicted this would happen very early on. He was totally correct…
Good question. I think it is taking much longer than the “experts” thought for supply chains to normalize, the over expansion due to cheap money is still with us, and plenty of people still have unrealistic expectations about work.
I can’t speak directly to points 2 and 3, but I have first hand experience that point 1 is still playing hell with manufacturing and likely will for the foreseeable future (and is of course directly linked to point 3, and at least indirectly to point 2)
Yup. And while I can appreciate that it allowed my favorite diner to study their hours and conclude opening at 6:00 isn’t worth it… I’m hungry then.
https://globalnews.ca/news/9261553/justin-trudeau-canadas-drag-race-spinoff/
Well I can’t have guns or single-use plastics but at least I have weed and Drag Queens.
He has a long, public history of cultural appropriation. If he doesn’t show up in drag, he’s an even bigger bitch than we think.
Also; you’re Canadian?
Yes and things are must worse here. Almost all politician supported lockdowns with the exceptions being mostky a couple of disgruntled Conservatives. Imagine if the only opposition in the US came from Rand Paul, Thomas Massie and some random Republican state legislators.
Canadians do like gun bans and lockdowns and voted for internet censorship.
“Imagine if the only opposition in the US came from Rand Paul, Thomas Massie and some random Republican state legislators.”
Throw in a couple of governors, and I don’t really have to imagine it.
After the musical abortion that Chafed linked above, how about some good music? Sage advice.
https://www.aier.org/article/the-revolutionary-trigger/
Interesting to see an AIER article essentially saying that the US government may have to be violently overthrown. This is scary but I can’t disagree really, especially after last night…
But are they enough such people and are they willing to treated like dissidents in Red China?
***SIGH!!!*** It never fails. I just want to shut down my laptop and go to bed, and Windows decides it RILLY RILLY needs to update. 🙄
It’s just a checkbox to tell it to not force a restart.
Sorry, you said update. The workaround there is to tell it you’re on a metered connection. Then it lets you update when you want.
Yay! It’s done! Good night! 🥱 😴
Brush and floss while it does its thing.
Sumo begins Saturday night too!
+1 Fat Bastard
https://www.aier.org/article/when-lying-becomes-a-virtue-civilization-declines/
Interesting how post-covid libertarians and classical liberals are sounding like socons. The AIER was never saying this sort of stuff until 2020. Note how Don Boudreaux, Jeff Tucker and Richard Ebeling longer speak of “modernity” anymore.
Or how they just today published an article unironically saying that we need to Make Great America Again:
https://www.aier.org/article/john-adams-on-liberty-americas-rationale-and-greatness/
https://cafehayek.com/2022/11/bonus-quotation-of-the-day-850.html
“As more and more of us remain silent,”
Many of us here admit we are guilty of this, as am I. We remain silent as proggie friends and acquaintances spew statist rhetoric. Yes, we don’t want to piss people off, but is our silence taken by onlookers as agreement? If we can’t or won’t defend individual liberty, then who will?
https://youtu.be/HejfngsaCDU
Pretty for a 47 year old, performing live a song she first did when she was 20. Original
https://youtu.be/k6C8uoKEFio
Leann at 16.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oglueOxXTSQ
1972. I miss they leather hats and not one bit of blue hair.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QXyqk9flwk
Has anyone seen Brochettaward lately? The last I saw him he said he tested positive for the ‘vid. That was what…two…three weeks ago?
Maybe he couldn’t handle being turned into a seconder.
I was wondering about him myself. I hope he wasn’t the First! one around here to get a really bad case.
Self indulgent note: I posted a pic of NPR Lady and me in Zoom last night, just to answer Tundra’s question of, “Why do you put up with that?”
You weren’t there? Too bad.
Conservative chicks are hotter. /wasn’t there
I, too, wasn’t there, but I suspect a public service announcement is in order.
Self
indulgenceabuse note: the lady doth have a pleasing countenance.https://ktla.com/news/local-news/ktla-speaks-to-the-owner-of-a-van-stolen-in-wild-police-pursuit-through-o-c-and-l-a/
Poor dude just wants to work.
Go buy an EV.
Good morning RoaT, Sean, Old Man, and Stinky! Decided just last night to take today off, for the exciting reason that this is probably the last good day to clean the gutters before rain and cold and general meteorological disagreeability set in. Yippee. 😐
Good Morning GT, hope it goes well.
Enjoy the nice weather.
Good morning, ‘bodru, and thanks! Have you all had any much-needed rain lately? Or is it too late to do much good?
Warm and dry today then a couple days of warm and wet then cold. Yep, last good day for outdoor work.
Mornin’, reprobates!
That movie needs to be made. Starring STEVE SMITH as the Soggy Big Monster, and Anthony Fauci as Jack, the foremost scientist in the scientific study of advanced science.
Good morning, ‘patzie! Sleeping nice and toasty warm now?
Mornin’, GT! Toasty indeed. Thick fog outside to match my mental state. Long weekend, here we come!
Morning.
Yo. Tall Covfefe! And a fine smoke.
Yes indeed! Working early so I can leave early.
Morning yall. Cowpoke woke up at 5am again. Sure cant wait for him to normalize to the new time clock thing. Otherwise momma is going to be grumpy forever. I usually go to the gym MWF, and sleep in the extra 2 hours on the rest days. So yeah, the extra sleep would be nice for all of us. Wpund up going to bed at 9 last night just to get my 8 hours
Yippee ki yay, Cowboy!
“Cowpoke woke up at 5am again.”
Ah, memories. My oldest demanded to be fed every four hours until he was about 3 months old, you could set the clock by his schedule. Thursdays were my nights to provide the feedings. I identified as a zombie for a while.
I really have to fix my sleep schedule. I was wide awake at too darn early, then I got to sleep only to wake up late. 🙁
If it wasn’t a remote day and they hadn’t held me 2 hours past end of workday yesterday, I’d be in trouble.
By my calculations, they still owe you an hour.