About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

399 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Biden Turned 80”

    Booooo!

    • UnCivilServant

      Age is just a number, but senility is real.

      • Count Potato

        “Age is just a number”

        Are you in a teachers union?

      • Brawndo

        Nah. Clergy.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Age is white supremacy.

      • Fourscore

        Maybe just a number but 80 is a big number.

    • straffinrun

      He’s gonna get a 12 y/o to sing “Happy Birthday, Mr President”.

      • SDF-7

        Ewwwwww… shudder

      • Pope Jimbo

        Making it to 80 is nothing to sniff at

      • rhywun

        I can hairdly wait myself.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Tress me it worth it

      • Brawndo

        I feel gross for laughing at that.

  2. AlexinCT

    New Trump special prosecutor overturned by Supreme Court, tied to IRS scandal

    It’s always member e same corrupt cabal that are gIven the job of doing AMMEDIA TRIAL AGAINSTTrump.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If it was truly impartial the investigation would last fifteen minutes. They were looking for a conductor for the railroading and they found their man.

  3. Count Potato

    “Democrat poised to succeed Pelosi repeatedly denied legitimacy of Trump’s 2016 election”

    Are there any Democrats who didn’t? I remember three years of RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA!!!

    • AlexinCT

      The only elections that have no problems are the ones team blue wins…. Otherwise, they are full of problems and criminal abuse.

    • Rat on a train

      When was the last time a Republican won the presidency that Democrats didn’t challenge the legitimacy?

      • UnCivilServant

        Are you kidding? They’ve challenged the legitimacy of every Republican president since Lincoln.

      • robc

        At least they challenged the Lincoln election in a legitimate way.

      • Brawndo

        By attacking Fort Sumter?

      • robc

        Secession. But the yankee troops did fail to vacate a foreign country.

      • SDF-7

        Lincoln?…..

        Oh, right….

      • Not Adahn

        GHWB?

      • juris imprudent

        Now you’re making me nostalgic for a California that voted for Reagan.

  4. Count Potato

    “Biden agrees to pay “climate reparations””

    OFFS!!

    • Cowboy

      Dont worry, they still havent paid the last reparations they promised. Hopefully they’ll continue to drag their feet in their incompetence

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s only a billion.

      That’s not even walking around money for Zelensky.

      • Sean

        LOL

    • AlexinCT

      This is just more of the racket where America’s productive are bled by the elite to force them to give up insane amounts of money to causes those elites can use to pad their own bank accounts.

    • SDF-7

      Barring another unconstitutional executive order, he can say what he wants — the House has to approve the appropriation. So the GOP could scuttle it for two years and we can see if 2024 brings in someone to formally say “Screw you” (not holding my breath on either).

      Knowing this administration — they’ll do an end run around the Constitution anyway. Take it from a slush fund or something or claim it is COVID emergency related or some stupid crap.

      • Tonio

        I look forward to government “shutdowns” over the budget bill.

      • Count Potato

        My favorite part of those is that they never shut down anything deemed “essential”. If the other stuff isn’t essential, why the fuck are we paying for it in the first place?

      • Tonio

        Exactly. The absolute best was when Obama stationed rangers at the entrances to national parks to turn people away during the shutdown, and the subsequent meltdowns and tantrums by his supporters when anyone pointed out the hyporcrisy and bullshit of doing that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That was the least. Ticketing or arresting people for stopping alongside roadways or entering nominally wide open federal land. The Corps of Engineers here posted closed no trespassing signs on the unfenced parks next to the dams where people walk their dogs.

      • Tonio

        I think all “no trespassing” signs on government-controlled land should have to read “Public Property / No Trespassing / by order of NAME, PHONE, EMAIL.”

      • Lackadaisical

        Eh, there’s are some areas people shouldn’t access. Like control rooms for dams and such.

      • juris imprudent

        at the entrances to national parks

        Better, the barricades they put in place around the mall to keep people away from the Washington Monument, etc.

  5. DEG

    I slept in today. Southern NH had snow last night at the right time for the snow to coat the roads, melt, and freeze. My car slid in a couple of places last night coming home from the liberty meet-up. (There were even two women there, though both married and there with their husbands). I decided to sleep in a bit and wait for the Sun to take care of the ice. I guess the joke is on me. It’s 19 degrees Fahrenheit here in southern NH. When I leave for the gym, I should expect ice again.

    House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy said Sunday that if elected Speaker he will jettison Democratic Reps. Adam Schiff, Eric Swalwell and Ilhan Omar from congressional committees for past conduct.

    If McCarthy follows through, maybe he won’t be all bad.

    Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, the New York Democrat poised to succeed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as his party’s leader in the House, has repeatedly denied the legitimacy of Donald Trump’s 2016 election.

    That’s OK because it is the right type of election denial.

    • AlexinCT

      Winter is coming!

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      Be safe, DEG.

  6. AlexinCT

    McCarthy promises to boot three controversial Democrats from committees if Speaker

    If we are talking about Shifty Shiff, Fartman Swalwell, and any of the squad’s idiots, then booting them is not enough. These crooks need to be investigating for abusing their committee positions for political gain.

    • Rat on a train

      and any Chinese connections (like bang a Fang)

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Trump’s Twitter account killed my dog.

    • juris imprudent

      Well, it did praise LE on Jan 6th.

    • straffinrun

      The best John Wick yet.

  8. Count Potato

    “The group’s car vending machines stuck well with the pandemic, a period during which consumers wanted to avoid contact as much as possible, to limit their exposure to the virus.”

    They always looked way over expensive and silly.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Excessive capital expenses eventually catch up to you.

    • Tonio

      And now they have all those purpose-built buildings with all that specialized car-handling equipment. Will be interesting to see how many of those buildings survive and become antique curiousities like Sears houses.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        👆👆👆

        It always looked like a dumb idea to blow that kind of cash on the things.

      • Count Potato

        A regular parking lot could have done the same thing.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        They could be used as homeless shelters.

    • Lackadaisical

      As an engineer I thought they looked super cool.

      Maybe not the greatest business decision though.

  9. Certified Public Asshat

    David Leavitt: “How many Americans will die because @elonmusk brought @realDonaldTrump back onto Twitter? He’s Back and every American who dies because of @realDonaldTrump being back on Twitter is @ElonMusk’s fault.”

    All of us will die.

    • AlexinCT

      You know you are dealing with evil fucks when their accusation is that letting people they don’t like challenge their lies will cause people to die. I do not condone violence, but I can see some of the less mentally disordered people that have been constantly gaslighted by evil fucks like this bitch whining about DT being back, realizing they had been played, deciding the fucking liar needed an ass whooping for deluding them.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      This is just getting stupid.

      • SDF-7

        Getting?

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

    • WTF

      Reading mean tweets will cause brain aneurisms. It is known.

      • AlexinCT

        Are we surprised that kids that were told they deserved trophies for just showing up and that they should think the world of themselves without ever having accomplished anything of note have never grown up to be responsible adults? I have told several of these snowflakes that it is only a spoiled brat that had never actually dealt with real violence that would ever say or believe something as dumb as “Words are violence”.

    • one true athena

      This guy is legit psycho. He’s the one who got famous for having a meltdown at Target over a toothbrush and screamed at the clerk on camera. The gofundme “give Target Tori a vacation” raised like 20k to spite his assholery.

  10. AlexinCT

    Bruce Lee ‘may have died from drinking too much water’

    Or from all the crazy other shit he did to increase his speed/reflexes like using electrical impulses to grow his chest/arm muscles reaction times (and fucking w/ his heart rhythm) and taking some special concoctions to make him faster and such shit…

    • straffinrun

      He did incorporate multiple disciplines which was not acceptable at the time, but he never entered actual sanctioned martial art bouts. He was untested in that regard and an NCAA wrestler at the time would’ve mopped the floor with him if they fought under today’s MMA rules. I’m a bit ambivalent on his legendary reputation.

      • AlexinCT

        Legendary reputations are a lot easier to produce if the person in question died.. See JFK…

      • straffinrun

        And JFC

      • Not Adahn

        There is obviously no way of verifying, but supposedly he did have to fight a lot of people looking to make a name for themselves by beating Bruce Lee.

        And my own prejudices speaking, but I’d assume that a fighter from Kowloon is legit.

      • straffinrun

        You’re right that he certainly was a tough guy. That’s why we have MMA now, though. You actually get to see (as close as I’d wanna see) what combo is best. I just know they all have a strong grappling base (Periera???) for defense at a minimum.

      • EvilSheldon

        To be fair, most sanctioned martial arts bouts in Bruce Lee’s time were packed full of bullshit. NCAA wrestling and western boxing to one side.

  11. AlexinCT

    Georgia to Become First State to Require Work for Medicaid Coverage

    Seriously, no society ca survive if it is giving free shit to the mooches. Not even in a hyper prosperous world. Sonner than later they will run out of other people’s money.

  12. Count Potato

    “The former President himself, banned for inciting a deadly riot that ultimately stormed the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, said when informed of his invitation to return that the Twitter platform has “a lot of problems”.”

    Please show me the tweets “inciting a deadly riot”.

    “Trump added that he’ll stick to communicating his 2024 election run through Truth Social, a platform he developed through his Trump Media group and plans to list on the Nasdaq through Digital World Acquisition Corp.”

    No one is on Truth Social.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Please show me the tweets “inciting a deadly riot”.

      I thought maybe I did miss something, so I went looking:

      Twitter’s Reason

      Deleted Tweets From Donald J. Trump

      I’m not watching what Liz Cheney posted, but nothing in those two links.

      • Count Potato

        Exactly, his ban was horseshit.

  13. juris imprudent

    Yeah I have to laugh at the $1B in climate reparations – set that against the [latest] $50B to Ukraine.

    • DEG

      I know. It’s not even real money anymore.

  14. Lackadaisical

    Nice links.

    “House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy said Sunday that if elected Speaker he will jettison Democratic Reps. Adam Schiff, Eric Swalwell and Ilhan Omar from congressional committees for past conduct.”

    Those three deserve more, but that’s a start.

    • straffinrun

      That quote needs a “literally”.

      • AlexinCT

        They need investigations for Swalwell & Schiff for sure. And an investigation into what position Ilhan’s brother plowed her in might be something that would do good for TeeVee ratings…

      • SDF-7

        Ewwwwww… shudder

      • Lackadaisical

        Eh, she’s kinda cute, with the right lighting…

      • AlexinCT

        You saying that with enough booze in ya you too would tap that?

      • Lackadaisical

        No doubt, if I wasn’t married, of course.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Get your mind out of the gutter. She married her brother to get him in the country, not to bang him.

        Besides, even if she did want some loving, he wouldn’t be into it, but he might be open to marrying a brother too.

      • AlexinCT

        You saying both Ilhan and her ex-husband bro are into dudes plowing them?

      • Pope Jimbo

        They attended North Dakota State, of course they are into plowing.

      • AlexinCT

        Damned NoDaks!

      • Lackadaisical

        Literally jettison them?

        I’m on board.

      • straffinrun

        We could try with Nadler, but it’ll be more like flotsam.

      • Not Adahn

        You’d need to upgrade the trebuchet, that’s for sure.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Instead of banning them outright, I’d dangle the possibility of them still being eligible, but they need to answer questions in public about their sins.

      Schiff would have to provide the “proof” he swore he had seen or admit he lied to the public. Swalwell would have to fess up in public about banging a Chinese spy. Omar would have to produce Elmi (her second husband and alleged brother) to answer questions.

    • Brawndo

      Duke Nukem has a sad.

  15. AlexinCT

    CBS ‘Left’ Twitter to Virtue Signal; Now They’ve Truly Beclowned Themselves by Returning

    SeeBS is so good at the beclowning shit, that I saw a betting place not go past 3 days before they would break the line they drew in the sand when they were throwing their tantrum. Team people will not be affected by this sort of idiocy.

  16. LJW

    Looks like England back in their typical overhyped World Cup form.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      84% possession and no shots from Iran?

      • LJW

        They started slow I take back my comment

    • juris imprudent

      And Bellingham to the rescue.

  17. SDF-7

    Mornin’, Banjos.

    Institute for Justice helps NC Man Against Phoenix Police in Asset Forfeiture Case

    That this crap continues to go on when it is the one bit of police reform just about everyone who isn’t directly benefiting from it agrees upon is one of the greatest black pill “The system heavily resists meaningful change” bits of the last decade for me. Stupidly out of control, patently unconstitutional and ridiculous… yet we can’t seem to get rid of the damned thing.

    • juris imprudent

      And it is such a perfect example of an over-reaching power that was only going to be used against super-criminals. This is what happens with every govt power.

      • Spartacus

        Happens over and over. New rule: every time some prosecutor or sheriff stands up in front of a legislature and says “we’ll only use it against the really bad guys” they should be tased. And every legislator that is stupid enough to believe them should be tased twice.

  18. PieInTheSky

    Biden agrees to pay “climate reparations”  – based on the headline alone I don’t see why not. He can afford it. Or is it not Joe who actually pays?

    • Fourscore

      I thought ‘Drain the Swamp’ was land reclamation and I was all for it. Turned out I was wrong but it didn’t happen anyway

      • Lackadaisical

        DEP wouldn’t let you drain a swamp anyway.

  19. PieInTheSky

    Iran, China Are Using American Private Investigators to Spy on Dissidents – It’s a living…

    • SDF-7

      It’s Chinatown, Jake.

  20. DEG

    Off to the gym.

    • SDF-7

      Physics is a harsh mistress.

  21. Count Potato

    “A doctor diagnosed him with cerebral oedema and Bruce admitted that he had eaten some Nepalese hash shortly before the episode.”

    Temple ball is some good shit.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The armbands always look uncomfortable. I don’t get why they are even a thing for captains to wear.

    • rhywun

      So fucking tedious.

      Watching the England match – they kneeled to BLM again before the whistle.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        We would still have George Floyd if he was Iranian.

    • Lackadaisical

      “Van Gaal, the Dutch manager, answered: “I am no longer going to speak about political issues, I’m speaking about this coming match, and I put a full stop on all these issues.”

      Seems like that should have been the stance from the start.

      • rhywun

        Well, that was impolitic of him.

        More, please.

  22. UnCivilServant

    I was compiling a list of states I’ve visited in order to start planning future road trips. I needed some criteria to separate visited from merely driven through. I’ve spent many hours in Georgia, but it was all in traffic, so I can’t claim to have actually visited.

    My initial criteria was “Did something touristy other than stop for gas, get food, or overnight in a hotel”. Thing is, that criteria would knock six states off my visited list that I contend were not merely driven through – Mississippi, Connecticut, Iowa, Illinois, Vermont, and New Hampshire. First four I can sorta understand reclassifying them given that the highlight of the visit was either getting food (Mississippi), meeting people (Connecticut, Illinois) or both (Iowa). But I’ve been to Vermont and New Hampshire multiple times each. It doesn’t make sense to remove them because my time there was to avoid lockdowns or for a job interview. If “Meeting people” is a valid criteria then I only lose Vermont and Mississippi.

    *sigh*

    At least I know I’ve driven through 37 states. How many I’ve visited is still up for debate.

    Ironically, depending upon whether the four corners monument is actually on the four corners or not, I’ve visited Utah (done something Touristy) without ever driving through it.

    • juris imprudent

      I’ve avoided Mississippi and North Dakota this much of my life, I think I can make it the rest of the way.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oxford Mississippi is a very nice town with a lovely Bed and Breakfast I stayed in. I actually recommend it.

        Now that you mention it, while I was in Fargo, the touristy sites were across the border in Minnesota, so that only get a “met MikeS there” and joins the at risk column.

      • Ted S.

        [MikeS runs from room sobbing]

      • Pope Jimbo

        You don’t want to go rub elbows with the NoDaks and visit Medora to see how they toughened up that city slicker Teddy Roosevelt?

        I also agree with UCS, Oxford is a pretty town. It is also far enough away from NAS Memphis that the college girls there are friendly to young Marines who happen by on a Saturday night.

    • straffinrun

      Arches national park was amazing. But that might be the weed talking.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’ve only “Touristed” 22 states 🙁

      I need to set up a New England Mop-up Tour to get the five states between New York and Maine.

      My other next goal was a drive all the way to the west coast. I found an Aquarium in Oregon on the sore that would let me have an excuse to stop in Bend to visit the last Blockbuster. I wonder if they’d honor my membership card (If I can find it)

      • UnCivilServant

        Why? I at least get some enjoyment out of aquaria (even if I can’t figure out how to photograph those darn fish)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Western most point of the continental US.

      • Lackadaisical

        “Campers must have horses with them to stay in the Horse Camp.”

        Heh, what if I identify as a horse?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Or hung like one?

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        That aquarium is only an hour from me. If you do make this trip, ring me up.

      • UnCivilServant

        It won’t be for many months, but I will try to remember.

    • UnCivilServant

      So I’ve revised my criteria and added another column. “Visited” includes any activity of substance even if it is meeting people and not seeing the state. “Touristed” requires some touristy activity and is more stringent than Visited. “Driven Through” remains the same.

      I have Driven through 37 states, Visited 29, and Touristed either 22 or 23 (Utah is in contention)

      • UnCivilServant

        The list of states I have never physically been in is getting short – Wyoming, Washington, South Dakota, Rhode Island, Oregon, Nevada, Nebraska, Montana, Idaho, Hawaii, California, Alaska, and possibly Utah

      • Sean

        I assume you have a spreadsheet for all this data.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, yeah, it’s too small a dataset for a database.

      • Sean

        🙂

      • Lackadaisical

        California is really cool, if you stay in the wilderness and avoid civilization.

      • UnCivilServant

        It is also literally the opposite side of the country from me. It takes a lot of planning (and time off) to get out there. Hawaii is going to take special effort since I don’t fly anymore. Are there still ocean liners that just go from A to B? Or have they all gone resort cruise liners?

      • dbleagle

        Look for the season ending/starting times when they shift locations. Repositioning the ships involve passages and for a bonus are cheaper.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do you know when the tourist season for Hawaii is?

      • Count Potato

        “Hawaii is going to take special effort since I don’t fly anymore. ”

        We can knock you out like Mr. T

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s the airports, not the flying per se.

      • Lackadaisical

        I drive all the way there from NY, so I’m aware. Still worth it, if you see other stuff along the way.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve come up with a routing that would snag me a slew of western states in one go. The problem is the driving time as estimated by google is 102 hours. That is 12-17 driving days assuming evenly spaced stops (which never happens) and no additional driving to reach places of note (haha, very funny), but it goes cover Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, and South Dakota.

        Shit, i’d need a whole month to drive and tourist along it though.

      • Lackadaisical

        Sounds similar to what I did.

        I think I did it in 2 weeks, but it’s possible it was a month. You just need to do a couple 12-
        +hour drives to get the driving days down to something manageable.

    • whiz

      Never been in 7 states: AK, AR, DE, LA, MS, ND, and SC. Just passed through AL, ID, KY, NC, PA, and TN. I’ve stayed overnight in AL and TN multiple times on road trips, so maybe they shouldn’t be on the list; NC was just the Charlotte airport to change planes.

  23. Lackadaisical

    “Democrat poised to succeed Pelosi repeatedly denied legitimacy of Trump’s 2016 election”

    It’s not INSERREKKKTION. No, when they do it, it’s called saving Democracy.

  24. SDF-7

    ‘Orning ‘ordles — nothing special really… but for the Main Event, the words were screwy enough that I’m happy with my score. Now go show me up, you Quordle Masters and Mistresses….

    Daily Duotrigordle #264
    Guesses: 36/37
    Time: 06:10.14
    https://duotrigordle.com/

    Daily Quordle 301
    3️⃣5️⃣
    7️⃣6️⃣
    quordle.com

    • robc

      Daily Quordle 301
      9️⃣8️⃣
      3️⃣6️⃣

      Meh.

    • Grummun

      9 8
      4 6

    • Tundra

      Daily Quordle 301
      7️⃣4️⃣
      6️⃣9️⃣

      Shitty

    • Sean

      Daily Quordle 301
      5️⃣9️⃣
      7️⃣8️⃣
      quordle.com

    • whiz

      Daily Quordle 301
      5️⃣3️⃣
      4️⃣6️⃣
      quordle.com

      Hit a 50/50 and a 1/3 on the first try, so a good day.

    • The Hyperbole

      Daily Duotrigordle #264
      Guesses: 36/37
      Time: 03:56.00

      Daily Quordle 301
      7️⃣8️⃣
      3️⃣6️⃣

      Solid start disappointing finish

    • kinnath

      Daily Quordle 301
      6️⃣8️⃣
      4️⃣9️⃣

    • Fourscore

      I thought Miss Brown was a big fat meanie in 1st grade when she kept me in at recess and made me read alone and out loud. She was my Mrs Porter

      Thanks, Jimbo

  25. Rebel Scum

    Rep. James Comer: Family Bank Records Are the First Focus in Biden Investigation

    This is just a partisan witch hunt. – Dems

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck getting their offshore records.

  26. rhywun

    US will pay up to $1BN to compensate developing countries for global warming

    LOL… I think the author misplaced some zeroes. They want trillions.

    • juris imprudent

      Then let them sue Alex Jones.

      • straffinrun

        Heh. The more they pile it on, the more he’s vindicated.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, the New York Democrat poised to succeed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as his party’s leader in the House, has repeatedly denied the legitimacy of Donald Trump’s 2016 election.

    “It’s ok when we do it.”

  28. Lackadaisical

    “Less than two months ago, it was revealed that China had set up “police service centers” across the US, Canada, and Europe, where it is said that Chinese “police” had “persuaded” 230,000 claimed fugitives to return to China “voluntarily.”

    China has defended the practice of setting up what are essentially police stations in other countries, saying that the majority of the work done there is akin to what would take place at an embassy.”

    So, you’re saying we should shut down your embassies as well? Tough choice.

  29. Rebel Scum

    “With Trump back on Twitter, it’s a good time to watch this Jan 6 hearing. It covers each of Trump’s tweets that day, including those that have been deleted, and features multiple Trump WH staff describing his inexcusable conduct during the violence.”

    Surely you can provide examples to support this accusation.

    “Just emailed the head of safety at Apple and Google respectively to ask if their app stores will continue to carry the Twitter app now that Elon Musk has reinstated Donald Trump.”

    Don’t they carry Truth Social and Gab?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      LOL. With declining revenues at all of the tech giants, I imagine some harsh reality may begin to assert itself to the wokesters.

  30. Pope Jimbo

    How big was Abortion as an election issue in Minnesoda? This big

    * From this story

    • SDF-7

      Those jive turkeys are interfering in an election! 😉

  31. Lackadaisical

    “Georgia’s per-enrollee cost for the work requirement program is expected to be at least three times higher than it would be under a regular Medicaid expansion, said Colbert.”

    That’s wild, I won’t what makes it cost so much?

    “The federal government would have paid for at least 90% of the costs of insuring hundreds of thousands of Georgians under a full expansion. That compares with the expected 67% matching rate from the feds under the slimmer Kemp plan. And that difference doesn’t account for a Biden administration incentive for expansion that would net Georgia $710 million, according to a KFF estimate.”

    Ah, it’s not that it costs more so much as is subsidized less. Weird that is not being billed as a handout to poor people, since it’s still expanding coverage? Just another example of how controlling the purse strings in DC results in odious policies at the state level.

    • Grummun

      I appreciate that Ms. Underwood has done a lot of work to get that kind of definition in her legs, and she wants to show off some, but that is an ugly gown.

      • Not Adahn

        “Too pretty a ring steals praise from the hand.”

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      “Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you… The New Julia Roberts!”

      • Lackadaisical

        Wow, now that you say that….

  32. AlexinCT

    So, I had a chat this past weekend with a bunch of asshats that were trying to make the case illegal immigration was not just beneficial but necessary for our country. I pointed out to these assholes how deceptive their argument was, and man did it piss them off. They started from a correct and valid premise to then sell bullshit.

    The premise they go on is that because of falling birthrates in the world, most societies, but especially those of the industrialized and socialized western world, were facing immanent collapse. The logic – correctly – goes that without higher than required replacement birthrates, a country with a big welfare footprint would eventually implode. It’s simple math. When you have 12 people obligated to pay taxes to support one, the math can be made to work. The ratio makes it so those paying can contribute a small portion of their income to allow the system to pay for the one. But when your replacement rate gets so bad that those numbers fall down to ratios below 1;1 in the other direction. Things break, and break ugly. So the solution is to bring in new people.

    This premise is indisputable. China and most Asian nations, are looking at societal disasters and economic collapse because of this problem and their inability to allow immigration to help solve it. But the place where the people telling us we need more immigration goes south is when they claim we need to allow illegal immigration. What we need is a reform of immigration laws to allow more legal immigration: immigration we can both control (raise when needed, and lower when not) and use to vet the people coming. There is a good argument to be made for allowing go-getters to come here to chase the American dream. These people are more likely than not going to be supportive of the existing system reliant on freedom and the ability to work hard to make a dream come true. But illegal immigration is about allowing people to come unvetted both so they can take advantage of these poor souls and pay them less to work like dogs (both teams profit from this), and to encourage them to vote for more welfare (benefitting one party in particular).

    America should change it’s immigration laws to make the process less onerous, but it doesn’t need more illegal immigration. One allows us t control our destiny. The other allows political asshats to control our destiny.

    • SDF-7

      I wouldn’t have the patience to go beyond “Oh fuck off”, myself.

      Want to make an argument for increased legal immigration? Go to town. I dare say a lot of the advocates might be surprised at the support they’d find where they don’t expect it for improving / streamlining the processes and revisiting any quotas.

      But start doing blanket amnesties and “laws don’t matter!”… you can go meet up with the rusty chainsaws in illicit orgies as far as I’m concerned.

      And with their whole “welfare will collapse!” try — well, the welfare is admittedly unsustainable then and we need to focus on throttling it back, don’t we? Something something run out of other people’s money and all.

      (Long winded agreement post here — just venting my frustration that the “immigration advocates” don’t seem to even try to work within the laws anymore…)

      • UnCivilServant

        Right now I see a need to shut the door, burn down the welfare system and shake things out before we can decide what, if any, immigration is required.

      • AlexinCT

        And with their whole “welfare will collapse!” try — well, the welfare is admittedly unsustainable then and we need to focus on throttling it back, don’t we? Something something run out of other people’s money and all.

        Telling the idiots this is an insult akin to telling them their mother has sex with the dog or something.

        You & I might believe we should have a socials safety network – which helps the productive during times of trouble – and get rid of the welfare state that only helps the corruptocracy, but this is a hard sell with the socialism minded ideocracy.

    • Lackadaisical

      I would rather wish society changed such that more people wanted to raise a family. I don’t know the solution to that.

      • AlexinCT

        Never gonna happen. That genie is out the bottle and never going back in. People in our past agrarian societies needed kids to do the work and to be there to watch over them in their old age. Especially when you had to have a slew of kids to overcome mortality rates. That incentivized having children because they provided labor that was needed. Today kids are seen by way too many as nothing but a financial drain. They cost a fortune (especially if you end up paying to send them to get indoctrinated in college) and they will neither produce value or be there to take care of you in old age. It would cost too much for government to incentivize having kids, which would detract from their ability to pick winners & losers.

      • Lackadaisical

        “People in our past agrarian societies needed kids to do the work and to be there to watch over them in their old age.”

        This hasn’t changed, people just don’t realize that all the money in the world isn’t worth anything if you don’t have the labor force to utilize it. The thing that has broken is the connection between you personally having children and your ability to be cared for in your old age.

      • juris imprudent

        It’s a cycle. Kids have to become assets again instead of liabilities. That’s going to take a very big socio-economic change (and likely not a pleasant one).

      • Lackadaisical

        I don’t disagree. I can’t see anything else making that change, unless you remove social security et al. And society starts to look down harshly on those who abandon their parents… Yeah, your scenario is more likely.

    • rhywun

      In addition to cheap labor, they want more illegals so they can pat themselves on the back for not being “racist”.

    • The Last American Hero

      Nobody believes in this shit.

      If they did, then tell them to go vacation in Canada and drive through customs without stopping. If they try and arrest you, call them a bunch of bigots.

      Or do they provide a passport and answer questions politely when traveling abroad?

  33. Not Adahn

    From Dedthred: since the Silly Times began, there have been shootings at the bars on Caroline St. These have always been portrayed in the media as urban yoots from Albany making the 30+ minute drive to party at Skidmore bars for … reasons. Two things about this incident that I find interesting and an anecdote:

    1. A Sheriff’s deputy got into an actual gunfight and nobody got shot?
    2.

    The shooting was the first time in 26 years that Saratoga Springs police discharged their weapons.

    I assume this means “discharged at a human being,” or else their 50% hit rate seems unlikely.

    Anecdote: I had a friend visiting from out of town and was on a rant about how awful, sadistic, and abusive (some) cops were. At the time, we were in my car, directly behind a Saratoga Springs cop that was at a “no turn on red” intersection. My gentle-souled companion says “I think you might be overestimating the degree that this is a problem.” The light turned green, the cop whipped the car into a right turn and plowed directly into the back of a pizza delivery car. The SS cop walked into the building and brought the pizza delivery drive out in handcuffs and tossed him into the back seat of his cruiser.

      • Not Adahn

        I drove off without interfering. I should point out that the driver was parked so close to the intersection that the cop did not even clear my lane before impact, which is how I was able to observe the whole thing.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cop is still at fault. Such a parked vehicle is clearly visible and he should not have made a reckless turn. Dock his pay for the costs of the cruiser, delivery car and missed income for the driver and pizza place.

      • SDF-7

        I’m sure you would have opened yourself up to all kinds of harassment and retribution — but dropping a card or something at the pizza place as a witness because you can be sure any body or car cameras would have conveniently “lost footage” comes to mind.

        Don’t blame you at all for not wanting to go through it — but I suspect the driver could have used an eye witness or two.

      • Not Adahn

        You are of course correct. I did not act optimally.

      • WTF

        In NJ at least, you can’t park within 50 feet of an intersection. So it could be that.

      • UnCivilServant

        Doubt it. Around here if there’s not a sign forbidding it people can and will park right up to (and often in) the crosswalk.

  34. Count Potato

    “Pelosi blames MAGA for Colorado gay club massacre: Points finger at Republicans for ‘undermining the safety’ of trans people after gunman, 22, killed FIVE… even though police have NOT confirmed it was a hate crime”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11450139/Nancy-Pelosi-lays-blame-MAGA-Republicans-Colorado-gay-nightclub-shooting.html

    “Grandfather of ‘Colorado gay bar mass-shooter’ is MAGA California lawmaker who hailed January 6 riots, as it’s claimed ‘killer’ evaded red flag law despite threatening mom with bomb”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11451491/Grandfather-Colorado-gay-bar-mass-shooter-MAGA-California-lawmaker-hailed-January-6-riots.html

    It’s obviously Trump’s fault.

    • rhywun

      How does she know they were “trans”? The one picture I saw showed two ordinary-looking dudes.

      • Not Adahn

        Dude, all LGBTQIA2S+ are interchangable. The fact that you don’t understand that means you are no longer gay — you’ve been downgraded to a straight MLM. You can still have a good life though, Peter Thiel is one after all.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        rhywun works for Amway?

      • Not Adahn

        Cutco.

      • Sean

        I attended one of those gatherings in my teen years with a friend of mine. Good times.

        We didn’t get involved.

      • Count Potato

        At least one of them was.

        “Derrick Rump (left) and Daniel Aston (right) were among the five killed Saturday night at Club Q in the seemingly premediated attack, carried out by a single gunman armed with an AR-15

        Both men worked as bartenders at the establishment and are so far the only two named victims of the attack – which occurred on the eve of The Transgender Day of Remembrance, at 11:57pm. Aston (pictured here in this photo posted by a mourner), was a trans man, pictured with the scars from his top surgery”

      • UnCivilServant

        Those names sound fake.

      • Tonio

        “armed with an AR-15”

        Sorta, maybe.

        Colorado Springs Police Chief Adrian Vasquez said the shooter carried an “AR style platform” long gun along with multiple magazines with ammunition. -State Media

      • Not Adahn

        Just ban magazines with ammunition, duh!

    • Not Adahn

      NPR said so this morning.

      • AlexinCT

        These scum know the morons that listen to them will remember this as the cause even when a few days from now we find out the motivation and perp had nothing to do with the evil orange guy. See the club shooting back in Orlando where till today you have leftists claiming with certainty the killer was a gay hating Christian instead of some muslim asshat that couldn’t shoot up his original Disney target and just randomly picked the club to go pile up a body count.

      • Not Adahn

        But.. the dudes GRANDFATHER is a bigot! Don’t you even genetics you SCIENCE! denier?

      • Pope Jimbo

        See, if Grandma had access to safe abortions back then all those people would still be alive.

    • straffinrun

      Hailed?

      • Not Adahn

        Heiled.

    • B.P.

      Reminder: Trump was the first pro-gay marriage president when entering office. It took Obama time to “evolve” when in office.

    • Lackadaisical

      Brasil? I’ll have to watch this one later… In private

  35. db

    Biden Turned 80

    And yet, so many good people die much younger.

    • straffinrun

      He’ll go down in American history as our foremost fondling father.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Last night I could hardly keep my eyes open during the football game. I went to bed as soon as it was over. I have been mostly awake since 3 AM.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    On what charge?

    Creating a nuisance.

    • Not Adahn

      Interference with official police business? FYTW? You might beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Did you hear about the psychic who got immediately arrested after she set up shop in town?

      They charged her with creating a new seance.

      • Sean

        Filling in for Tres?

  38. Rebel Scum

    After pausing for much of the weekend to assess the security concerns, CBS News and Stations is resuming its activity on Twitter as we continue to monitor the situation.

    I take it someone is afraid of the free exchange of ideas.

  39. Rebel Scum

    The nations who’ll benefit from the funds are largely from Asia, Africa, Latin America, the Caribbean and the South Pacific. They say they’re set to be worst-affected by rising sea levels and other weather extremes blamed on carbon emissions created by wealthier countries.

    So the biggest actual polluters.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Are the rising sea levels really happening? It seems like that’d be really easy to prove/disprove.

      • Lackadaisical

        The real world is super complicated, since the ground doesn’t stay still either during the timeframe they talk about. As far as I can tell? Only a little.

      • rhywun

        And like temperatures, even if what they are saying is actually happening, there is no proof whatsoever that “we did it” nor that “we can stop it”.

      • Lackadaisical

        If you don’t drastically reform your entire lifestyle, I’ll need to buy a whole new oceanside chateau in 100 years, and we just built some new docks.

      • dontreadonme

        Just get a floating dock…problem solved!!

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Party of hate

    Within days of Trump’s election in 2016, reported hate crimes skyrocketed. State attorneys general in Massachusetts, Maryland and New York created emergency hotlines to manage the flood of reports. Studies now show that Trump rallies cast a long shadow of hate-based violence, with host cities reporting a 226% increase in violence.

    The far right’s emboldened, retrenched villainization of LGBTQ lives as political fodder has created a powder keg within the context of our fractured democracy. In the coming days we will find out the names of the Colorado victims, who they loved, what they dreamed. Their lives, and ours, must be valued as people, not simply specters evoked by weak leaders to frighten people to the ballot box.

    Not a day goes by without dozens of victims of right wing extremism being dumped in the streets.

    • PieInTheSky

      reported hate crimes skyrocketed – and that is totes a meaningful thing

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’ve convinced me, here’s my kid so you can cut off his dick.

      • PieInTheSky

        We only use organic anesthesia. It does not really work but it helps mother Earth

    • rhywun

      I must have missed all the GOP candidates ranting about the damn gays and what to do about them.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s not so much the gay folks they don’t care for, it’s the kid transitioners and the MAPs who seek sanctuary under the LGBTetc umbrella. There are, unfortunately, a fair number of those.

      • PieInTheSky

        the damn gays and what to do about them – force them all to get married.

      • Count Potato

        Trump was more pro LGBT than Obama or Biden.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Well, Senator Tim Scott was raving about what to do about the Negro Problem…

    • SDF-7

      If those host cities were like San Jose in 2016 — a good chunk of that “violence” was ‘protestors’ (aka early Antifa at a guess). So yeah… I think that little stat needs some looking into.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Carrie Underwood could wrap those legs around my neck any old time. There. I said it.

    • Drake

      Was his kid killed in a really suspicious FBI sponsored school shooting that was used as an excuse for unconstitutional gun laws?

      • juris imprudent

        Every shooting is an excuse, you don’t need to go into FBI sponsorship bizarro world.

      • Count Potato

        The FBI is a totally upstanding organization that would never get involved in anything crooked for political reasons.

      • juris imprudent

        There’s no glory in failing to stop a mass shooting. Their shtick is creating a plot they can then ‘catch’ just before the SHTF.

      • Count Potato

        They do that too.

  42. PieInTheSky

    **BREAKING** 121 BAYCs confirmed stolen today due to bogus links sent around by notorious hacker group claiming it to be the @SBF_FTX
    @carolinecapital
    sex tape drop.

    https://twitter.com/EricCryptoman/status/1593702214631133191

    are emetic drugs not available in the US in case of need?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Rule 34

  43. The Late P Brooks

    reported hate crimes skyrocketed – and that is totes a meaningful thing

    So many people turned into newts it’s impossible to count them all.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m sure whatever study revealed that employed a rigorous and open methodology.

    • rhywun

      I remember the last time the left trotted out the “hate crimes against trans!” thing, Andy Ngo crunched the numbers and found that every one of the reported “hate crimes” was actually either domestic violence or drug deals gone bad.

      • juris imprudent

        Believe my truth hater!!!!

      • Lackadaisical

        +1 tranny hooker

      • rhywun

        I’m still wondering where all the tranny hookers went after they gentrified the fuck out of the Meatpacking district in Manhattan.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s just such wonderful phrasing.

      • Lackadaisical

        It’s not even a euphemism… I didn’t know where to go from there.

      • juris imprudent

        How about a big round of applause?

      • juris imprudent

        Thank you kind sir!

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        That was a literal description.

        A bunch of us would ride our Motorcycles in Manhattan, and we would usually end the night at Hogs and Heifers in the Meatpacking district. A well known Biker bar.

        The direct route from H&H out to the Holland tunnel would go right past the tranny hookers a couple of blocks away under the EL, and they were very happy to show all passers by how they were equipped.

      • rhywun

        I think I went past Hogs and Heifers a lot on the way to Click ‘n’ Drag at Mother.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        That was a few doors north, same block? I had been in there for a few drinks with some of the motorcycle crew.

      • Count Potato

        The web, just like the regular hookers.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, that makes sense.

        I have a feeling they’ll be back sooner or later as NYC continues to revisit the seventies.

        Read today the next budget will have something like a $12B deficit.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Earthquake in Java!

    Global warming, or right wing hate bomb?

    • PieInTheSky

      it depends how close to the surface sure, but 5.6 always seems to me a little light to have hundreds of casualties

    • Not Adahn

      I’m liking that show so far. Weird and creepy.

      • Lackadaisical

        I like it as well. Plus, the red head doctor lady is super cute.

    • Not Adahn

      Nuh uh! Using a pyramid in a desolate landscape is totes original!

      • UnCivilServant

        Who are you, Sneferu?

    • kinnath

      I watched the first episode yesterday. Waiting to see how it plays out.

  45. PieInTheSky

    christoph
    @Halalcoholism
    What has been Trump’s most “dril” tweet? Throw your best ones at me.

    I humbly submit this one.

      • AlexinCT

        So Trump is a master shitposter…

        I see why the left and some others hastes his ass so much…

      • Lackadaisical

        That whole thread is gold. I forgot how fun Trump’s presidency was.

  46. PieInTheSky

    Extinction Rebellion UK 🌍
    @XRebellionUK
    🚨 BREAKING 🚨 #FossilFuel companies targeted across London

    XR & aligned groups take action at Hill & Knowlton, Institute of Economic Affairs, JP Morgan, BAE, INEOS, Schlumberger, IMO, Eversheds Sutherland,BP & BEIS

    https://twitter.com/XRebellionUK/status/1594662275704623107

    Fantastic first step. Now do the same thing in Moscow, Beijing and Riyadh

    • rhywun

      “Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it… All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children.”

  47. The Late P Brooks

    Junior high lunchroom politics

    Schiff responded to McCarthy’s potential undertaking on a Sunday episode of ABC’s “This Week.”

    “Well, I suspect he will do whatever Marjorie Taylor Greene wants him to do. He’s a very weak leader of this conference, meaning that he will adhere to the wishes of the lowest common denominator, and if that lowest common denominator wants to remove people from committees, that’s what they’ll do,” Schiff said.

    “Betty told billy that Sam called her a slut in homeroom, and now Billy says he’s gonna kick Sam’s ass after school! Let’s go watch.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I actually agree wit Schiff here: McCarthy’s a pliable pussy and he sucks balls.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Yeah! No Pillar of Leadership like when the Dems made Ilhan Omar apologize for all her anti-semetic comments.

    • AlexinCT

      I am an ass man.. Now I am gonna have to rethink my like of Jordan since he dissed it…

      • UnCivilServant

        I doubt those were his words.

      • Lackadaisical

        No, but he did really say something to the effect that the preponderance of attention given to butts is a sign of the demise it civilization or something.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Poop comes outta there though…

      • AlexinCT

        It also comes out of most people’s mouths, but we still are told to….

        Ok, never mind…

    • PieInTheSky

      A big ass gives the strength to raise the kids in hard times

    • Rebel Scum

      Meh, I prefer ass to tits given the choice. ///NoFlatAsses

  48. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    The Carvana story is interesting. I couldn’t figure out how the hell they made any money. I guess they don’t.

    Free money distorted the hell out of the economy. The coming collapses are gonna be epic.

    The study claims Bruce had multiple risk factors for hyponatraemia, including that he was drinking high quantities of liquid, using cannabis — which increases thirst — as well as other factors that decrease the ability of the kidneys, such as the use of prescription drugs and alcohol.

    His wife Linda revealed how Bruce had a fluid-based diet of carrot and apple juice in the run-up to his death.

    What could go wrong?

  49. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Looks like Disney shitcanned Bob Chapek and is bringing back Bob Iger.

    Bob…

    • AlexinCT

      It would be fun if they hired some other exec called Neil… that way Disney is run by Neil & Bob…

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Some Republicans have criticized McCarthy — including Rep. Adam Kinzinger, who said that McCarthy has been “siding with the insurrectionists,” and Rep. Liz Cheney, who called McCarthy the “leader of the pro-Putin wing.” Neither Kinzinger nor Cheney will be in Congress next year.

    “Some” = 2, apparently.

  51. PieInTheSky

    Concepts derived from critical race & gender theory are being taught to a *MAJORITY* of British schoolchildren, and many are rejecting free speech and British heritage. A thread based on my 2 new @Policy_Exchange
    reports

    Young people are less liberal on speech issues and considerably less attached to Britain’s heritage. But there is a major gender and ideology gap among my 18-20 sample, with young leftists and women noticeably more illiberal and unpatriotic than young conservatives and men

    https://twitter.com/epkaufm/status/1594259298330333184

    so women voting was a mistake

    • rhywun

      something something rope something hang themselves.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Oh they want to hang you too.

    • AlexinCT

      so women voting was a mistake

      Sure is starting to look like the feminization of society is going to have some real damaging and maybe even terminal consequences….

      • Lackadaisical

        Just look at all the successful and long lasting female-run societies in history…

        Wait. Hm.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    Schiff, who is also on the committee investigating the January 6th insurrection, continued: “It’s going to be chaos with Republican leadership. And, sadly, the crazy caucus has grown among the Republicans.”

    Muh show trial!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He shouldn’t be angry, lack of committee commitments should free up a lot of time he can use to fuck Chinese spies.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’re confusing your California psychopath congresscritters.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I stand by my comment.

      • UnCivilServant

        But without the committee, the chinese spies don’t talk to him

      • juris imprudent

        Howcome no love me no more?

      • AlexinCT

        Me no longer “So horny, me love you long time” cause you got nothing to pay with…

  53. Rebel Scum

    Litmus test failed.

    Another user, Kim Dotcom, urged Elon Musk to consider restoring Alex Jones in the “interest of real free speech.”

    Musk replied, “My firstborn child died in my arms. I felt his last heartbeat. I have no mercy for anyone who would use the deaths of children for gain, politics, or fame.

    AJ didn’t do this. Curiously though, it is the m.o. of the average leftist.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      eh, Musk is selling a business decision. Twitter doesn’t want or need the absurd defamation lawsuits associated with Jones. The lawyers involved in the Sandy Hook case would love an opportunity to drag them in.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I think he will actually be allowed back on after everything is sorted out. Too risky right now though.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

        and I can’t blame Elon for avoiding the lunacy currently targeting AJ.

      • Rebel Scum

        I suppose no one wants to be fined eleventy-trillion dollars.

      • Lackadaisical

        Especially when one has some ability to pay.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Or more explicitly, the SH families, their POS lawyers, and the puppet masters pulling their strings.

    • Count Potato

      “elon musk confirms he won’t reinstate alex jones

      however you feel about alex jones aside

      am i wrong here

      like not that there was much doubt before but elon just completely showed his ass”

      https://twitter.com/shoe0nhead/status/1594583646903599107

    • Michael Malaise

      He needs to let me back on.

      My three pre-Elon strikes:

      1. Telling Bill Kristol “you’re old, and you’ll die soon” with respect to him being upset about something that wouldn’t ever affect his life.
      2. Speculating whether or not Vladimir Putin will die of cancer as a reply to Bret Weinstein’s question about Putin’s future.
      3. Finally, an Indigenous People’s Day absurdity where I celebrate it by going to the next town over, kidnapping one of “their men”, dragging him up the city hall steps, cutting out his heart, eating it, and then kicking his spasming body back down the steps.

      • UnCivilServant

        From your summary, you don’t come off too good in strike #1.

      • Michael Malaise

        So, that’s one. The other 2 are stupid.

      • Michael Malaise

        And I deleted the first one because it was a throwaway.
        The second I tried but was unable to (for some technical reason) delete it because again, didn’t care.

        My bio does say I am a shitposter, so …

  54. Rebel Scum

    Says the loser that lost to Barry and Biden.

    EXCLUSIVE: Just days after Donald Trump announces his third bid for the White House, former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan calls himself a “Never-Again-Trumper.”

    Of course he is correct in a sense. If the RINOs cannot be persuaded to do something about election integrity, MAGA Rs will continue to have difficulty.

    • Michael Malaise

      former Speaker of the House”

      Lobbyist says what?

  55. PieInTheSky

    “Diagnosis made by hallucinatory voices”

    Woman hears voices asking her to get a CT scan because they claim she has a brain tumour. Her psychiatrist orders a scan to reassure her but they actually find the tumor. After her surgery the voices thank her for listening and disappear

    https://twitter.com/68tilinfinity/status/1594358210399391745

    • AlexinCT

      My voices never disappeared after I told them there was no way I was getting any penis reduction surgery…

    • AlexinCT

      Ain’t commerce grand?

    • Fourscore

      It’s always wise to follow the money

    • Homple

      Sounds better than that rum, sodomy, and lash business.

  56. Rebel Scum

    But what is the significance?

    Kamala Harris says being in Thailand “signifies the significance” of U.S. allies and that she was glad to have “in large part, a discussion about the significance of the climate.”

    Someone must be playing a cruel joke on us considering who the Pres. and VP are right now.

    • AlexinCT

      Another fucking word salad by a skank that talks out of her ass?

    • creech

      Guess who will be president if Brandon doesn’t make it to age 82.

      • UnCivilServant

        If the Vice President Assassinates the President, do they still get to be President and pardon themselves for the Assassination?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Only if they kill the president if it was done during an illicit tryst because the President wanted to engage in sodomy.

        An Assignation Ass Assassination is totes justifiable and permitted under the law.

      • juris imprudent

        An asinine assumption.

      • R C Dean

        Silver lining:

        After January, Pelosi will no longer be in the line of succession.

      • juris imprudent

        December surprise?

      • Count Potato

        #DeringerElection

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

      What’s the significance, Kamala?

  57. hayeksplosives

    Good morning, peeps.

    It’s a balmy 29 degrees F out here in the desert.

    Cats are at each other’s throats again. 5 month old keeps turning off my CPAP, which of course wakes me up.

    And now he has brought the little plastic spring toy we use to play fetch and dropped it on my pillow. Expectantly mewing and pawing at my forehead to get me to throw the spring for him.

    Cute, but exhausting.

    • Lackadaisical

      Your cat is trying to kill you?

      I guess that’s normal.

      • hayeksplosives

        Lol.

        Especially appropriate considering that in the medieval superstitions about cats and witchcraft, it was commonly believed that cats killed children by “taking their breath” away.

        Evidently this belief arose when babies would die of SIDS or some unfortunately common disease back then, sometimes a housecat/mouser would be seen lying on the child’s chest, nose-to-nose with the child. Probably attracted by the scent of milk.

        People can be massively stupid.

      • Lackadaisical

        I dunno, is it really that crazy? If you were already having respiratory distress or other problems as a child, something sitting on your chest could certainly do you in. Hmm

    • Fourscore

      Morning and good to see you again, Miss H’splosives.

  58. Rebel Scum

    Naggers?

    The University of Florida retracted its scholarship offer to a four-star high school quarterback after the player was seen on video rapping the n-word.

    The video is mere seconds long, but in it, former Gator commit Marcus Stokes can be seen rapping the words “Welcome back, n*gg*!”

    The “N-word” is ubiquitous in rap music, ffs.

    Stokes issued a statement on Twitter after Florida pulled the offer.

    “I was in my car listening to rap music, rapping along to the words, and posted a video of it on social media,” Stokes wrote. “I deeply apologize for the words in the song that I chose to say. It was hurtful and offensive to many people, and I regret that. I fully accept the consequences for my actions, and I respect the University of Florida’s decision to withdraw my scholarship offer to play football.”

    Never. Apologize.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “I apologize.”
      Ah, so you did something wrong…

    • rhywun

      I deeply apologize for the words in the song that I chose to say.

      LOL that’s a sorry-not-sorry if I’ve ever heard one.

      Sorry, whitey – stay in your own lane and listen to white-people music.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If that happened, the rappers would lose a shit ton of money and we’d have to listen to how racist it is to no longer listen to rap.

        Your job is to buy rap albums and then listen to them without singing along (you may snap your fingers in some cases).

      • juris imprudent

        Sorry, whitey

        No shit. Country boy, you should be listening to country.

      • Fourscore

        Me and Willie, Waylon and the boys goin’ to Luckenbach

    • Michael Malaise

      “Marcus Stokes”

      He’s practically an honorary black guy with that name.

  59. prolefeed

    We were discussing the TV series Endor (excellent libertarian themed show BTW), and I had an epiphany when someone casually said progressives identified with the rebels and prisoner underdogs in the show.

    Me: “Progressives are the people who are busy metaphorically building the Empire and setting the stage for hunting down the rebels.”

    Indignant Nuh-uh!!! response.

    Me: “Nukes are the modern equivalent of the Death Star – was it a conservative administration that started the Manhatten Project and then nuked two cities? And which set of politicians is trying to ban free speech and has jailed political prisoners out of a dissident rabble?”

    Mrs. Prole: “Enough about politics, yeah?”

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why go back so far? Swalwell recently threatened protesters with nukes.

    • SDF-7

      We were discussing the TV series Endor

      Yeah, those Ewoks that almost sniped Galen Erso and ended up hugging Jyn as the Death Star blast wiped out the beach were the best part of Rogue One.

  60. Rebel Scum

    Commies do commie things.

    Jane Zirkle at The War Room reported on Sunday that Brazilian Justice Inspector, Minister Luis Felipe Salomao. who was appointed as a minister by then-President Lula da Silva back in 2008, signed an order allowing child services to take children away from election protesters.

    Since October MILLIONS of Brazilians have taken to the streets to protest what they claim was a stolen election from populist President Jair Bolsonaro.

    From the tweet below: (translated) Around 22:00 hours (11/18/22) the Tutelary Council tried to remove children from their parents, in front of the Army Battalion on Av.Fernandes Lima – Maceió-AL

    The protesters were not having it.

    The Brazilian protesters pushed the child services representatives away from the crowd.

    That’ll show the people that the election and incoming government are legitimate.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m surprised the child services representatives are still alive.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      signed an order allowing child services to take children away from election protesters

      That, by itself, should be enough to hang the SOB from a lamppost.

    • rhywun

      JFC.

      Our future now.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy if they aren’t careful. The rank and file in the military already prefer Bolsanaro I’d think and they’d be subject to this too.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    I fully accept the consequences for my actions, and I respect the University of Florida’s decision to withdraw my scholarship offer to play football.

    I’d like to think some other school will offer him an opportunity to redeem himself, but these days, it tough to say.

    • R C Dean

      I wonder how hard it would be to find black athletes who have posted themselves doing the same thing.

      • juris imprudent

        I’d bet you’d have less luck finding black athletes who DON’T.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’d take all of ten seconds.

    • rhywun

      I think it’s more likely he won’t find a school that will take him, and he will be unemployable too.

      Oh well, he can always go on welfare I guess.

    • B.P.

      Seems like a great opportunity for a school to bring him aboard and teach him about the evils of whiteness for four years.

    • robc

      Fun fact: I have never climbed Kennesaw Mountain when the park was open, only at night.

      • robc

        Also, “climb” is a poor term. Leisurely stroll is more accurate.

      • PieInTheSky

        google images shows something that looks like a hill certainly not a mountain

  62. PieInTheSky

    At least 11 students at a primary school in the Australian city of Sydney have been injured after a classroom science experiment went wrong.

    Reports say at least two students were taken via ambulance to hospital with serious burns. Nine others are believed to have suffered superficial burns.

    An experiment involving sodium bicarbonate and methylated spirits was reportedly affected by a gust of wind.

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-63698896

  63. The Late P Brooks

    Musk’s mistake

    After mass layoffs convulsed Twitter earlier this month, Musk demanded that the remaining workers report to Twitter’s offices instead of working remotely. He insisted they sign a pledge to build an “extremely hardcore” company or quit. Many chose severance, with some offering dire warnings about the company’s fate on their way out.

    Musk’s goal “was to pare down the company to the people who really saw the vision and the goal,” Gerber says. “And it turns out it’s going to be pared down a lot more than I think he thought.”

    The ongoing clamor about Musk ruining Twatter (or vice versa) is enlightening.

    Here’s an analogy. You buy a really nice house overlooking the ocean. And then… you tear most of it down and build something different, in the same place, using the same foundation. You’ll piss a bunch of people off, but so what? What was it that you were actually buying? The house, or the foundation?

    • kinnath

      you bought the view

    • R C Dean

      it’s going to be pared down a lot more than I think he thought

      Or not. I suspect if his RIF turns out to be bigger than he anticipated, it won’t be hard to backfill.

  64. PieInTheSky

    Greg Bear, a Seattle science-fiction author who played a leading role in defining how global audiences saw future final frontiers, died Saturday of complications following heart surgery.

    Astrid Bear, the 71-year-old writer’s wife, said he died peacefully in a Seattle-area hospital. “He was not alone,” she wrote in a message to friends.

    Born in San Diego, Greg Bear had his first short story published in 1967 and began writing full time in 1975. He wrote more than 50 books — including multiple award-winning series, a Star Trek novel and a Star Wars novel, plus a trilogy set in the Halo video-game universe. His final novel, “The Unfinished Land,” was published last year

    https://www.geekwire.com/2022/greg-bear-1951-2022-science-fiction-writer/

    • robc

      One of my favorites.

      Some of his best didn’t age well, due to end of cold war, but he had some great ones.

      Blood Music
      Eon
      Forge of God
      Moving Mars

      and many more.

  65. PieInTheSky

    Western countries must be careful not to create new dependencies on China as they are weaning themselves off Russian energy supplies amid Moscow’s war on Kyiv, NATO chief Jens Stoltenberg warned on Monday.

    “We see growing Chinese efforts to control our critical infrastructure, supply chains and key industrial sectors,” he said on a visit to Spain.

    Stoltenberg urged allies to increase the resilience of their societies and infrastructure.

    https://www.reuters.com/world/china-boosts-efforts-control-western-critical-infrastructure-key-industries-nato-2022-11-21/

    No shit Sherlock

    • AlexinCT

      Now watch them do it anyway cause they never lurned that lesson…

  66. The Late P Brooks

    And what about the deafening chorus of industry experts who say that Musk is risking the security of Twitter’s users, and the credibility of the platform as a whole, by entering a field he doesn’t really understand, slashing the workforce and impulsively changing features? To his backers, that’s just FUD — “fear, uncertainty and doubt” — spread by people who don’t want Musk to disrupt their industry.

    Why would you bother to buy Twatter just so you could keep everything the same? Those other idiots were doing a great job of running it into the ground.

    • R C Dean

      risking the security of Twitter’s users

      Physical security? The security of their accounts?

      Or just emotional security?

      • EvilSheldon

        “WuRDz r VIoLinZ!!1!!”

    • Michael Malaise

      “by entering a field he doesn’t really understand”

      Nevermind that PayPal thing.

  67. The Late P Brooks

    you bought the view

    That, too.

  68. Sensei

    Dear Microsoft Customer / E-mail User,

    It is obvious that this notification will come to you as a surprise but please find time to read it carefully as we congratulate you over your success in the following official publication of results of the E-mail Electronic Online Sweepstakes organized by the Google Incorporation, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products, (F.P.S.) held here in United States. Wherein your E-mail address emerged as one of the online Winning E-mails in the 10th category and therefore attracted a cash award of ($4,950.000.00. USD., Four Million Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand United State Dollars). Approved for payment in Apex Correspondent Bank

    I just got this email. Once I get my winnings I guess I’ll be saying goodbye to everyone here…

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s an oddly specific cash value.

      “Google Incorporation”?

      I know, they’re trying to weed out the smart recipients to improve the conversion rate.

      • Sensei

        Just imagine your winnings in the “first category”!

      • UnCivilServant

        A 2023 Ford Pinto-EV, MSRP $4,299?

  69. The Late P Brooks

    Four Million Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand United State Dollars). Approved for payment in Apex Correspondent Bank

    Sounds legit. You’d better send them your bank transfer info before they change their minds.

    • slumbrew

      They can just remotely control your computer for you and take care of all the pesky details.

    • R.J.

      Just in case it is a scam we will keep your seat warm.

  70. Count Potato

    “The “Stochastic Terror” Lie

    The Left’s latest gambit for suppressing speech is built on preposterous grounds.

    I browsed the news recently only to discover that, according to a popular science magazine, I was responsible for the attempted murder of Paul Pelosi, husband to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

    In an opinion piece for Scientific American, writer Bryn Nelson insinuated that my factual reporting on Drag Queen Story Hour was an example of “stochastic terrorism,” which he defines as “ideologically driven hate speech” that increases the likelihood of unpredictable acts of violence. On the night of the attack, Nelson argued, I had appeared on Tucker Carlson Tonight to discuss my reporting, and, hours later, the alleged attacker, David DePape, radicalized by “QAnon” conspiracy theories about “Democratic, Satan-worshipping pedophiles,” broke into the Pelosi residence and attacked Paul Pelosi with a hammer.

    This is a bizarre claim that, for a magazine supposedly dedicated to “science,” hardly meets a scientific standard of cause and effect. There is no evidence that DePape watched or was motivated by Tucker Carlson’s program; moreover, nothing in my reporting on Drag Queen Story Hour encourages violence or mentions Nancy Pelosi, QAnon, or Satan-worshipping pedophiles. My appearance on Tucker Carlson Tonight and DePape’s attack against Paul Pelosi are, in reality, two unrelated incidents in a large and complex universe. And Nelson, a microbiologist specializing in human excrement, is full of it…”

    https://www.city-journal.org/stochastic-terrorism-is-about-suppressing-free-speech

    • EvilSheldon

      We’re going to be hearing this a lot, because ‘stochastic’ is an intellectual, cool-sounding word. Progressives eat that shit up with a ladle.

    • Count Potato

      I don’t remember him being banned.

  71. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Welp, Virginia has decided to start enforcing the truck/trailer combination weight rating to the letter of the law as far as CDLs go. In forty years, we’ve never been pulled for it, but the newer dually trucks have such high GVWRs that it kicks us over the limit.

    Fuck me for trying to be safer.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Metal number punches, aluminum data plate, rivets, and derating…