Thanksgiving Day Afternoon Link

by | Nov 24, 2022 | Daily Links | 105 comments

Gallery of regrettable food. Your linkster is old enough to remember the awful blandness of mid-century American food which was mostly dictated by the “test kitchens” of food manufacturers. Pro-tip: if a recipe specifies one or more ingredients by brand, then it’s something they cooked up to sell more product.

The comments, dear friends, are all yours.

 

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

105 Comments

  1. Tonio

    Oh, and a reminder that Neph’s Glibertarians Autonomous Zoomblast will be scheming to smash the state through the end of the weekend.

  2. Surly Knott

    Squee! The Gallery of Regrettable Food, and other mid-century horrors featured on Lilek’s site have long been favorites. Thank you!

    • Tundra

      I love it so much. Having an Italian mom insulated me from some of the worst, but I still have PTSD from some of that shit!

  3. DEG

    With some cheese and melted glue, freshly shredded documents makes for a tasty meal! Surround with glistening, flesh-packed intestines.

    I chuckled at this one.

  4. rhywun

    Another pro-tip: wieners do not belong in Jell-O™️ or Cool Whip™️.

    • Tonio

      Cool Whip is an abomination.

      • rhywun

        I used to eat it out of the tub when I was little. Yeah, I have always had a sophisticated palate.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Right there with you, brother.

      • R.J.

        I am with Spaniard. He requested Reddi-Whip in cans for the pumpkin pie.

      • Tonio

        No whippets (whip-hits)! Huffing is for tweens.

      • Count Potato

        Also bored restaurant workers.

      • DrOtto

        There’s a scene in “Waiting” where a waitress (are they still called that?) grabs a can of redi-whip out of the fridge and it just kind of dribbles out of the can and she swears at the bus boys. That part of the movie really brought me back to my first job.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Teenaged boys have a sad…

    • R.J.

      Well, you have to warm it up first. Otherwise there is too much shrinkage….

    • Gustave Lytton

      Hot dogs in gelatin is aspic, not jello.

  5. Ownbestenemy

    Pro-tip: if a recipe specifies one or more ingredients by brand, then it’s something they cooked up to sell more product.

    Like my grandma’s cheese chicken which requires Ritz and Lowery’s Seasoned Salt? I don’t care, end product is good.

  6. Tonio

    Word for the day: Zankha. An Arabic word for a particular rancid smell. Apparently Arabs (and perhaps other groups) can smell this, but Westerners can’t. Much like whether one finds cilantro pleasing or pukey is also a genetically linked trait, but not (AFAIK) linked to any ethnic group.

    • UnCivilServant

      But what objects supposedly contain this smell?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sounds like protein or the aftermath of protein.

    • rhywun

      Huh. I think I caught this after my suspected plague-week around last Xmas. Ever since, after I wash a plate that has had eggs on it, it smells disgusting.

      • Tres Cool

        I had it last year in December. Starting the 13th according to my pcr test. I didn’t legit make my way back to work until December 26th. Sickest I’ve ever been.

        /pinkie shakes

  7. Ownbestenemy

    Huh…we don’t really have the equipment to ensure the proper separation of aircraft on approach but apparently, we did here in Vegas.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VZqRg69Hpw

    The equipment and/or services needed is called PRM or Precision Runway Monitor. I guess ADS-B could help, but I was unaware we ran these operations…

  8. Fourscore

    Back from dinner with friends. They sent turkey/ham leftovers home with us plus 2 really nice butternut squash from their garden. I ate way more than I’m accustomed to eating so I’ll skip dinner. Saw their little kids that are near teen age, hadn’t seen the kids in about 7-8 years.

    I got the impression that an Xmas dinner may be in the offing but either way I won’t be disappointed. A couple guitars got tuned up (not by me) before we ate. Some kids have talents that some of us can only wish for.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Almost like humans desire to contact and sharing. Almost like powers are in movement to stop that. Glad to hear you had a good time and experienced some talent by the youts

    • Tundra

      Sounds great, Fourscore!

      You can get a nap in before the Vikings game!

      • Fourscore

        …and during…

  9. UnCivilServant

    Took my turkey roast out and my first reaction was “Oh no, it’s been in too long!”

    Temperature seemed to confirm my fears (it is indeed cooked)

    But taking a test slice off the end showed that it hadn’t dried out. YAY!

    • Count Potato

      Go you!

    • Gender Traitor

      What are you having for side(s)?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I ate the green beans earlier, and didn’t stage anything else to be ready at the right time…

      • Gender Traitor

        Just call it a progressive dinner (if you’ll pardon the “p” word.)

      • Sean

        Slice up those radhishes, crumble some cheese on top and drizzle with some balsamic.

        #lazycook

  10. Gender Traitor

    Whew! I spent the better part of the afternoon putting in a second bathroom…for the cats. By way of explanation, rather than have them use a commercial litter pan, I buy the biggest plastic storage tub I can find, then cut a “door” in the end (which is not as easy as it sounds. Requires a drill and a reciprocating saw.) Bought a bigger tub for the sake of the Big Cat (suspected Norwegian Forest Cat) who seemed cramped in the current pan and had been apparently seeking…alternative places. 😒 Got the new one in place and filled, and the Big Guy got the idea. The old pan got cleaned, refilled, and moved to the basement (one of the aforementioned “alternative places.”) ***SIGH!!!*** I hope that helps! 😟

      • Gender Traitor

        That cat is on some serious drugs.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I had to buy multiple pans after I moved and one of them let me know she had other ideas of where she wanted to do her business than I did.

    • Tres Cool

      I don’t mind cats. Im cat-ambivalent. However, as a rule, I prefer to not have a domesticated companion-animal that shits in a box in the house.
      That is all.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      We had done that with a rather… rotund cat we had, Monkey. Worked perfectly.

  11. Count Potato

    TG dinner was a success. I stuffed and roasted a big chicken (not worth doing a turkey). Weird, one thigh was a bit underdone. Never seen that before.

    • Mojeaux

      Cold spots in your oven?

      • Count Potato

        I turn the pan around though (the side with the window radiates less heat).

        I’m thinking maybe I left water in there when I washed it?

      • Tres Cool

        Isn’t that a Tammy Wynette song?

  12. Mojeaux

    Cracker Barrel was a solid 5/10 won’t do again. I am now making a Christmas wreath and watching football. So, bread and circuses!

    • Gender Traitor

      How long did you have to wait to be seated?

      • Mojeaux

        Oh maybe 45 minutes. I expected 2 hours, so I was happy.

    • Sean

      That sucks.

      • Mojeaux

        It wasn’t as bad as the year I had the bright idea to order dinner from the grocery store. Didn’t have to do anything but wait, eat, and pay. It was…okay. Solid C work.

      • Sean

        We’re not hosting anything this holiday season. My sister is hosting for Christmas family gathering.

      • Mojeaux

        Christmas Eve is our “big” (for some definitions) to-do. My house is configured weirdly and we have no place to seat people and visit. My mom does, but she and her sisters are old and decrepit, so they don’t want to do all that work. (That’s why we had Tday out.) So I am going to prepare the party and we will take it over to my mom’s.

      • Sean

        Awww. That’s sweet.

      • Raven Nation

        We usually order from Whole Foods when in CO. They do a solid package.

      • Mojeaux

        I forgot what took it down from 7/10 to 5/10: ended up not having turkey Nd dressing because the sides weren’t quite right. Instead of mashed potatoes and gravy, it was mashed sweet potatoes and pecans. I had country fried steak.

        I will be making “box Thanksgiving” tomorrow, as I do. Box stuffing, box spuds, jar gravy, turkey breast (because I couldn’t find Jennie O turkey loaf.

      • rhywun

        mashed sweet potatoes

        🤢🤮

      • Count Potato

        They’re good. Unless you hate sweet potatoes.

      • rhywun

        I hate sweet potatoes.

      • juris imprudent

        Actually the CB mashed sweet potatoes were sweet enough to be dessert. That was the lowlight on the plate.

      • Count Potato

        I meant in general. Never been to CB.

      • hayeksplosives

        YUM.

        I’ll be right over…

  13. Ted S.

    I was worried that my turkey hadn’t thawed fully, but it came out OK.

    Sonny was excited for the leftovers. 🤣

    • Ted S.

      Had a glass of Orvieto around 1, then a glass and a half of Torrontés with the turkey at 4.

    • Tundra

      Lucky Sonny!

  14. Sean

    After that carb laden lunch, I’m going simple for dinner – meats, cheese, and olives.

  15. Tres Cool

    I cobbled together a casserole of rice, Campbell’s broccoli-cheese soup, cream of chicken, chicken breasts, and rice. Baked @ 350º F.
    Jugsy ate it, said “It tastes OK”. Im calling that a W and going to bed soon.

    (I know she wont sneak in DoorDash on me while Im out- she already tried and delivery prices are STR8 retarded)

    • Count Potato

      Two cans of soup?

  16. hayeksplosives

    Country club turkey, ham, potatoes, gravy, cranberry, roll, and green bean casserole were a success. Plus cheesecake.

    Taking a box of leftovers.

    Let the tryptophan coma kick in…

  17. Count Potato

    That holding call was bullshit.

    • R.J.

      Does it matter? The Cowboys will lose. It’s tradition. What happens in the game is not important.

      • Count Potato

        “The Cowboys will lose.”

        I hope you right.

        Giants just decided to pass and fail on a short fourth, for some dumbass reason.

      • R.J.

        NY must have paid Jerry Jones for the “extra excitement package “ which lasts until the 4th, wherein they throw the game.

      • R.J.

        Sorry Count Potato. Did you have money on this game? Do you have to skip town now?

      • Count Potato

        I wasn’t expecting NY to win with so many players out.

      • R.J.

        Jerry Jones will have no idea what to do if his team actually wins.

  18. Sean

    Found a live lady bug in the house today. That’s good luck, right?

    • Mojeaux

      Orange ladybugs are bad.

      • Sean

        I assume it’s a ladybug resulting from the batches we released earlier this year for aphid control.

      • Fourscore

        We didn’t have the mass ladybug infestation this fall, a few only. Last year we could have weighed them, I used a shop vac in the garage, 1000s, 1000s, 1000s and still didn’t get them all. Had to scrub the canister out after they began to smell. They bite too, not hard but annoying as hell.

      • Sean

        Huh. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Related to honey production?

      • Fourscore

        No, they are looking for a shelter in the winter. They will crawl on the siding, creep in around the garage doors or when the garage door gets open. I don’t know where they come from, only a few in the summertime. Gather in the corners of the garage. On the fall afternoons when it’s getting cool but with the warm sun on the south side of the garage. They are cyclical, peaked last year, I think, this year only a few.

      • Tundra

        Japanese beetles. Not ladybugs.

        Nasty little fuckers

      • MikeS

        Brought here decades ago by “The Experts”.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    My shrimp dinner turned out okay. Not exactly Outback coconut shrimp, but so what. As I was eating, I found myself saying, “What is that awful noise in the other room?” Haha, halftime show. I forgot to mute.

    Dessert: Klondike bar.

    I am living smack dab in the lap of luxury.

    • Sean

      Living the dream, Brooks.

  20. Sean

    Decades channel is airing old roasts.

    Currently on Jackie Gleason.

    Next up is Jack Klugman.

    • R.J.

      Nice. Tonight’s movie is “They Live” at 7:00 CST.

      • Sean

        Love that movie.

  21. Dr. Fronkensteen

    I’ve been sick since Monday night. I was supposed to have my twins this holiday but they’re staying with my ex while I try to get better. My food is what I can stomach. I been living off of soup the past couple of days. Hope everyone is having a good Thanksgiving.

    • Count Potato

      Get well soon!

    • Gender Traitor

      So sorry, Dr. Fronk! Hope you feel better ASAP!

    • DEG

      Get well soon!

    • Tundra

      Sorry, Doc.

      Stomach bugs are the worst.

  22. Trigger Hippie

    No traditional food today. A bowl of Cheerios, three slices of day old bacon on wheat toast with a slice of cheese, and a handful of chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Little bit of weed, a pack of smokes and I ate something, so I’m thankful.

    • Sean

      You doing ok? Back to work?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Working, living. That’s about it.

      • MikeS

        I’m glad you’re doing both of those things.

  23. dbleagle

    I will be enjoying a pizza and beer during the NE/MN game. Homemade key lime pie will be featured as well.

    I had a slice of pecan pie with breakfast.

    • hayeksplosives

      Yum!!

      Watching the Vikes game right now. Skol!

      • Tundra

        Kirk.

        *shakes head*

  24. Sean

    Oh, the Klugman lineup looks promising. 👍

  25. dbleagle

    Today was spent prepping the bottom of a boat and then painting it.

    • Tres Cool

      Is that Bozo the Clown’s public hair ?

  26. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    @RBS (rather, your very beautiful wife/girlfriend) is already a Zoom legend.

  27. hayeksplosives

    These euphemisms…

  28. Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

    A couple beers – Ninkasi Sleigher – and a chicken pot pie.

    Feeling groovy.