Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Nothin’ Lasts Forever

by | Nov 30, 2022 | Daily Links | 178 comments

When the First Farmers Arrived in Europe

Eight thousand years ago small bands of seminomadic hunter-gatherers were the only human beings roaming Europe’s lush, green forests. Archaeological digs in caves and elsewhere have turned up evidence of their Mesolithic technology: flint-tipped tools with which they fished, hunted deer and aurochs (a now extinct species of ox), and gathered wild plants. Many had dark hair and blue eyes, recent genetic studies suggest, and the few skeletons unearthed so far indicate that they were quite tall and muscular. Their languages remain mysterious to this day.

Three millennia later the forests they inhabited had given way to fields of wheat and lentils. Farmers ruled the continent. The transition was evident even to 19th-century archaeologists, whose excavations revealed bones of domesticated animals, pottery containing remnants of grain and, most intriguing of all, graveyards whose riddles are still being solved. Agriculture not only ushered in a new economic model but also brought about metal tools, new diets and new patterns of land use, as well as novel human relationships with nature and with one another.

The Fall of Man. Eve offered Adam not an apple but a stalk of wheat. Decolonize your colon.


 

‘Merit-making’ on hold as monks fail drug tests leaving Buddhist temple empty

A Buddhist temple in central Thailand has been left without monks after all its holy men failed drug tests and were defrocked.

The monks have been sent to a health clinic to undergo drug rehabilitation, the official said.

“The temple is now empty of monks and nearby villagers are concerned they cannot do any merit-making,” he said.

Merit-making involves worshippers donating food to monks as a good deed.

Mr Boonlert said more monks will be sent to the temple to allow villagers to practise their religious obligations.

Meth Monks of the Sky Temple sounds like a fantastic movie I watched on USA Channel.


 

I have tried to hint what it was in order to postpone the horror of writing it down baldly. Can it be possible that this planet has actually spawned such things; that human eyes have truly seen, as objective flesh, what man has hitherto known only in febrile phantasy and tenuous legend?

And yet I saw them in a limitless stream—flopping, hopping, croaking, bleating—surging inhumanly through the spectral moonlight in a grotesque, malignant saraband of fantastic nightmare. And some of them had tall tiaras of that nameless whitish-gold metal . . . and some were strangely robed . . . and one, who led the way, was clad in a ghoulishly humped black coat and striped trousers, and had a man’s felt hat perched on the shapeless thing that answered for a head. . . .

I think their predominant colour was a greyish-green, though they had white bellies. They were mostly shiny and slippery, but the ridges of their backs were scaly. Their forms vaguely suggested the anthropoid, while their heads were the heads of fish, with prodigious bulging eyes that never closed. At the sides of their necks were palpitating gills, and their long paws were webbed. They hopped irregularly, sometimes on two legs and sometimes on four. I was somehow glad that they had no more than four limbs. Their croaking, baying voices, clearly used for articulate speech, held all the dark shades of expression which their staring faces lacked.

“The Shadow over Innsmouth” (1931)
H. P. Lovecraft


 

So it starts raining at the wedding and everyone scrambles for cover, and then Stephanie Seymour is dead, like right after. She’s literally being buried in a wedding dress. So how did she die? Did the rain kill her? The cold November rain? Did she William Henry Harrison that shit? I’ve been confused about this for 30 years.

But speaking of big Khazar milkers…

Regina Spektor
“On The Radio”
Begin To Hope (2006)

This is how it works
It feels a little worse
Than when we drove our hearse
Right through that screaming crowd
While laughing up a storm
Until we were just bone
Until it got so warm
That none of us could sleep

And all the Styrofoam
Began to melt away
We tried to find some worms
To aid in the decay
But none of them were home
Inside their catacomb
A million ancient bees
Began to sting our knees
While we were on our knees

Praying that disease
Would leave the ones we love
And never come again

On the radio
We heard “November Rain”
That solo’s really long
But it’s a pretty song

We listened to it twice
‘Cause the DJ was asleep

This is how it works
You’re young until you’re not
You love until you don’t
You try until you can’t
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else’s heart
Pumping someone else’s blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don’t get harmed
But even if it does
You’ll just do it all again

And on the radio
You hear “November Rain”
That solo’s awful long
But it’s a good refrain
You listen to it twice
‘Cause the DJ is asleep

On the radio
(Oh, oh, oh)
On the radio
On the radio, uh oh
On the radio, uh oh
On the radio, uh oh
On the radio

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

178 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Their languages remain mysterious to this day.”

    Sorry, they didn’t leave a note.

    • UnCivilServant

      Writing and bureaucracy grew hand in hand.

    • Rat on a train

      Malbolge?

  2. Rebel Scum

    Eight thousand years ago small bands of seminomadic hunter-gatherers were the only human beings roaming Europe’s lush, green forests.

    The colonized later became the colonizers.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      And that’s how it works.

  3. The Other Kevin

    Well that’s it, we’ve gone too far. Mother Nature has started a second attempt at evolution, maybe if the fish with legs kill us all and stop evolving, the world won’t go full dipshit.

    • Count Potato

      I didn’t think that was that rare for catfish.

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s exactly what they want you to think, Count.

      • The Other Kevin

        Tag fail. Ugh.

        *EDIT FAIRY HELPS*

    • UnCivilServant

      Nah, that’s just one of the fish whose ancestors went “Welp, this is as far out of the water as we go.”

    • Sensei

      I loved all the Buck Rogers’ homage.

    • Timeloose

      The Carp were one of the first animals to die off due to climate change, as they all tried to escape the burning depths of the lakes they used to freeze in they drowned in the hot winter air.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Bullshit. Carp will outlive everything else in the river. There is a reason that they are the only fish left in European rivers. The pollution killed off the rest of them and the Euro-weenies now think carp are sport fish and taste good.

        Wisconsin’s DNR did a bunch of tests trying to come up with a good way to get rid of carp and their conclusion was, anything that gets rid of carp will also kill off everything else way before the last one is gone. In one test they put carp in an empty tank of water and just let them starve. They discovered that the carp could lose 80% of their wait and if then fed could recover.

        Besides a golden carp is a fun fish to catch. They are smart and fight super hard. They make decent fertilizer too.

      • Fourscore

        That’s a crappie thing to say, UCS

      • Tundra

        Swiss will be here shortly to knock ya’ll off the perch.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well the Swiss are notorious pikemen. I on the other hand have a sunny disposition

      • Shpip

        A sharp retort from Swiss would leave us all walleyed. Worse still, he’d work himself into a lather and take a musky lunge at us.

      • UnCivilServant

        You guys are making me feel like a Bass for starting this.

      • juris imprudent

        Trout, trout with the whole lot of you!

  4. Tonio

    “aurochs (a now extinct species of ox)”

    Sorta extinct in that they were the ancestors of modern domestic cattle.

    • Shpip

      And there’s been a concerted effort in recent years to bring them back.

      One might even call it a moo-vement.

      • Tonio

        Nice.

        Part of me wants to see them bring back Smilodonts (sabre cats), dire wolves (really big ice-age wolf), and (of course) cave bears (my avatar). But I’ve seen Jurassic Park and know these things never turn out well.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Mastodons and Mammoths , Oh My!

      • Ownbestenemy

        to err is human, to forgive is bovine

      • Bobarian LMD

        We’re not trying very hard, we should be able to milk a few more out of this before we hoof it on out of here.

      • Michael Malaise

        This is udderly ridiculous.

      • Fourscore

        I’m going to horn in here before Swissie has a cow.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Bullshit!

  5. Count Potato

    I think I figured out why we’ve never been contacted by aliens. Once any species invents electronic publishing, they become retarded.

    Back when they were printed on paper, The Atlantic and Scientific American were great magazines. Now that they are websites, they’re too stupid for words.

    • The Last American Hero

      So are we too stupid for them to bother with us or did the aliens invent electronic publishing and devolve?

      • Count Potato

        It’s much easier to invent electronic publishing than interstellar travel. By the time Elon Musk figures out how to get to Mars, there won’t be anyone smart enough worth sending.

  6. Shpip

    Three millennia later the forests they inhabited had given way to fields of wheat and lentils.

    Seems like wherever people figured out agriculture and its associated ease of providing sustenance, they recognized its benefits and took it up. Might the “fertile crescent” have actually been the “fertile planet?”

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Well that was a mistake the WEF and the Dutch government will soon rectify.

      • Drake

        Everyone knows that the best food is made in a factory owned by a corporation with a high ESG score.

      • The Other Kevin

        It’s the next, most natural step in human evolution. The fact that me and my buddies own all the technology and means of production is just a coincidence.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        ESG gives me headaches.

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Rectify? They are trying to killify!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Damn near killed him?

    • Nephilium

      I’ve seen some theories that it was the ability to make alcoholic drinks that convinced people to stay in one place and farm.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Me too
        🍻

      • Tonio

        That’s far less silly than many theories about what drove civilization.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The alcohol also was free of the germs and bacteria that was in the water back then so it was safer to drink.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        This too
        /small beer

  7. Tundra

    So how did she die?

    Embarrassment and STDs.

    But mostly embarrassment.

    • Tundra

      And why did Slash leave?

      Was he in love with Stef? Or Axl?

    • Homple

      Some of us see the results, we even predicted them from the beginning.

    • The Other Kevin

      “We must pass the BM to find out what’s in it. The bill. Pass the bill.”

      • R.J.

        Heh. “We must pass the BM to find out what’s in the BM.”

        That’s usually how it works when you squeeze out some shit.

  8. Certified Public Asshat

    I was wondering about this: USWNT RECEIVES HISTORIC PAYDAY THANKS TO USMNT WIN OVER IRAN

    By advancing to the knockout stage, the USMNT earned a payout of at least $13 million. Only half of that money will go to the men’s side while the USWNT will get the other half.

    The USMNT and USWNT recently signed a new Collection Bargaining Agreement that states that the prize money from World Cups is pooled together and split evenly between the two teams.

    To put things into perspective, the USWNT has won each of the last two women’s World Cups. In 2015, the American women earned $2 million, and another $4 million for winning it all in 2019.

    So, the USWNT earned more money ($6.5 mil) by simply watching the men’s side beat Iran than it did by becoming back-to-back world champs.

    TBF, the men probably never expected to advance when they agreed to the deal.

    • The Last American Hero

      TBF, there are like 4 good women’s teams in the world.

    • Brochettaward

      It’s almost like people pay more money to watch men play sports than women.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I know of one woman who watches women’s sports. There must be at least a dozen more somewhere.

    • Rat on a train

      Why are the players on the local low-A team paid less than MLB players?

      • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

        Because there were too many for the low-T team?

    • Shpip

      This has been going on in certain corners of the sports world for a while. For instance, U.S. Paralympians are paid the same as their able-bodied counterparts for medaling.

      Now, our modern woke Olympics haven’t been a ratings juggernaut in the last few years, but compared to the Paralympics…

      No word on how much Special Olympians are paid.

      • slumbrew

        They’re paid in cake. They all want cake.

        I’ll see myself out.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If they are going to be paid the same, they better get rid of all those handicap parking spots at the training centers. Equal means Equal.

    • Urthona

      To be fair, that’s on them. They made a crappy deal.

      • Pope Jimbo

        But did the players make the deal? Or was it made by whatever cronies are in charge of whatever organization that actually runs US soccer?

        Actually is that team supported by tax dollars? Or is it some private organization?

      • Urthona

        They’re not slaves. They can work for whatever price they wish.

      • Pope Jimbo

        My guess is that the men decided it was worth $6.5M to not have to listen to that purple haired shrew go on and on about the Patriarchy.

      • Urthona

        oh yes

      • Nephilium

        You think that would stop her?

    • LJW

      This pretty much guarantees US soccer will never be more than mediocre. Why play for a team that takes half of your earnings and gives it away?

    • Spudalicious

      So they’re waiting on the men to bring home the bacon. Put them in the kitchen, and we’ve come full circle.

  9. slumbrew

    Stephanie Seymour was such a ridiculous smoke-show, back in the day.

    • Ted S.

      I learned it by watching you, Jay Leno!

    • Fourscore

      That’s a hot car!

    • slumbrew

      Yikes. Steam burns are not fun.

  10. The Other Kevin

    “Did the rain kill her?”
    Yes. That was the 80’s, when they had acid rain. Look at how everybody was running from it.

    • Fatty Bolger

      So I guess MDMA will be coming off schedule 1 soon? Haha, never mind, I already know the answer to that.

    • Brochettaward

      I’ll cede that as a First.

    • Sensei

      Just shout “starboard” louder!

    • Mojeaux

      First comment or that’s Fist of Etiquette?

  11. Brochettaward

    I saw the call for content on the site. I may do an article on the important role of contractions in Firsting. Every moment counts when Firsting, and sometimes you don’t have time to hit space and type out two words when one can do.

    I have seen too many people screw up a First trying to get that second word in. You aren’t that good, son. You are not me. Get your shit together. Get the First in and worry about style points later.

    • MikeS

      Firs

      • Tundra

        Fst

      • slumbrew

        Fist

      • R.J.

        F!

    • Fatty Bolger

      “Spam refresh until the article finally comes up, then paste in your previously written comment.” There you go, I wrote the article for you.

      Be sure to include lots of pictures when you submit it.

    • Brochettaward

      If The Golden Firsters are to stand against the onslaught of the multitude of seconders, they need to be fundamentally sound. I don’t need heroes I need a disciplined army.

  12. Tundra

    I can’t believe I had never heard of big Khazar milkers until today.

    • Sean

      Same.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      Well, it perfectly describes the first girl I made any real time with, way back in the day.

  13. Count Potato

    “This new animated film for kids, “Mama Has a Mustache,” is sponsored by AbbVie, the pharmaceutical company that sells the chemical castration drug Lupron to convicted pedophiles and “transgender children.””

    https://twitter.com/realchrisrufo/status/1598024159975870465

    This way they increase both markets.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My aunt had a mustache, many women have mustaches….oh…they mean it chopped its stick off.

      • Count Potato

        You shouldn’t call people “it”. The issue here is that this is a film for kids.

    • Ted S.

      That’s your prom photo?

    • MikeS

      Who’s the hottie?

      • R.J.

        If it turns out to be Malaise in a dress…

      • PutridMeat

        ….I will be strangely aroused

        There, finished it for you.

      • MikeS

        Teamwork!

      • R.J.

        Well done everyone!

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        …they’d be ahead of their time.

      • MikeS

        Happy anniversary, squire!

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      Anniversary?

    • Tundra

      Congrats, man!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      What are you doing here? Get busy.

      • Tundra

        24 years. He’s already done!

  14. Mojeaux

    RIP Christine McVie?!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I’m shocked that she was 79.

      • Count Potato

        Really? Did you think she was younger or older?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Younger by about 10 years.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        But then I think I’m about 20 years younger than I really am.

      • Mojeaux

        I thought she was younger. Like, my mom is almost 79, and I didn’t realize she was my mom’s age.

        The musicians of my childhood are dying.

    • Count Potato

      Yes.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well damn, that’s a bummer. RIP.

  15. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “I’ve been confused about this for 30 years.”
    It was Long Covid, the Cold November Rain was just a contributing factor.

  16. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Nary a mention of gamboling? What is wrong with you people?

  17. R.J.

    BTW. “Meth Monks of Sky Temple” sounds like a lost progressive rock song.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sounds like a Kyusk song.

    • Michael Malaise

      Band: Meth Monks
      Album: Sky Temple

      • R.J.

        That’s going to be Geddy Lee’s new project. He will break out the old kimono and wizard bell bottoms.

    • Zwak, who taser's the chimp with the razor.

      “Bunch of Meth Monks, Gathered Together in a Temple and Grooving With a ‘Sconie.”

  18. Sensei

    I’m torn between glee and guilt. It’s a rainy night here in nyc and I just watched a food delivery guy on an electric bike hit a subway grate on the sidewalk and wipe out nicely.

    Glee because the jackass shouldn’t have been on the sidewalk. Guilt because it looked like he hurt himself.

    • Sean

      Should have taken a se!fie with him while he’s in pain. #fail

      • R.J.

        Then take the food.

      • Sean

        Pro level.

  19. Count Potato

    “Good conversation. Among other things, we resolved the misunderstanding about Twitter potentially being removed from the App Store. Tim was clear that Apple never considered doing so.”

    https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1598090996281413638

    • Urthona

      I really really doubt Apple wants to remove Twitter.

      I think the media wants to talk about how Apple does.

      Also I use Twitter on my phone and never bothered to download the app. It’s just fine.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        On the other hand, the former head of “Trust and Safety” wrote in the NYT, “As I departed the company, the calls from the app review teams at Apple & Google had already begun.” Maybe some woke underlings got ahead of themselves.

  20. Sensei

    Verge

    Elon Musk is dragging Apple into the culture wars

    Yeah, Apple never entered the culture wars or caved to the CCP before Musk bought Twitter.

    • Urthona

      And Google. Google helps China censor people. They both can eat a dick.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      It’s the Musk Variant of “Republicans Pounce”.

    • MikeS

      The only timezone that matters? What time is Glibserver on? Hmmm?

      • Tonio

        A heathen, uncouth timezone. I believe that is an artifact of where SP (WBM, always) was living at the time she started this enterprise.

    • Ted S.

      The only timezone that matters is UTC.

  21. Gender Traitor

    Heads-up for Jarflax: Found our Biden bet:

    Jarflax on November 29, 2020 at 06:47 PM [+]
    Bet? I donate an extra $100 to the Glibertarian Foundation if Biden is set aside using the 25th, or dies in office, you donate your chosen amount if he finishes his term. There is absolutely nothing the real people in charge would love more than a senile figurehead. Even if the President is one of them he has his own priorities and opinions and makes their lives harder, President Veggie stamps what he is told to stamp.

    Gender Traitor on November 29, 2020 at 06:58 PM [+]
    You’re on. $100.00 to the Glib Foundation if Biden serves an entire four-year term.

    I’ll try to link directly to your comment, but those never seem to work for me. At least it will get you to the page: (Comment #1773304)

    • Tonio

      Nice. One way or another Glibs Foundation will get our $$$ and piss it away on hookers and blow for loser writers. And the few shekels that are left over after we pay the server bills are donated to fascist, racist, homophobic, ant-trans orgs like FIRE and IJ.

      I hope you feel better about yourself, fascist, for promoting hate speech.

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, I certainly can’t generate nearly enough hate speech by myself, so I have to employ trained professionals!

      • Tonio

        ^This is what a team player looks like, ppl.

  22. juris imprudent

    Remember, no one is actually trying to transition minors, so why do Republicans insist on stopping it?

    One woman, two fucked up children and one more to go. Not one mention of a father to any of the spawn.

    • Tres Cool

      | “Jackson landed a job she liked as a lead counselor for the Aubrey Independent School District.”

      I think I see the problem already.