About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

206 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Didn’t watch the first Avatar, not going to watch the second.

    Hippie sci-fi sucks

    • Rat on a train

      Smurfs suck whether they are tiny or huge.

      • SDF-7

        Smurfette and Vanity at least, I would think.

      • R.J.

        Rule 34.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I heard a great description of them….Free Willy meets Dances with Wolves

      • R.J.

        The wife MUST SEE IT so I shall review it. And I appreciate the best times to take a pee break.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I heard the story of Pocahontas in shades of blue.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Hey now I liked Free Willy, though I still think the ending would’ve been better had it ended predictably with Willy being captured by a Japanese whaling boat.

      • Sensei

        When that came out there were multiple videos of people in the UK seeing the trailer for the first time and hearing the title bursting out laughing.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I was 10 and I got the joke.

      • WTF
      • PutridMeat

        Or being stranded on the moon…

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        Dances with your Willie? Or is that the Alison Brie bit?

    • kinnath

      I watched the first Avatar in the theater with 3D. The film was gorgeous and the 3D was stunning.

      I have never been able to watch the movie on TV for more than a few minutes. It is shocking how bad it is.

      And I just didn’t notice in the theater because my attention was on the images, not the story.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Just as well, its on screen beauty makes people depressed about the real world, or so I’ve heard.

    • SDF-7

      Yeah… I just had minimal interest when it was new and big… and that only decreased the more I heard about it. So not particularly caring about any sequels.

    • UnCivilServant

      The proper Plot to Avatar 2 would be “Humans return, direct an asteroid to wipe out the hostile biosphere, then engage in a war of genocide against any surviving smurfs.”

      We control the gravity well, the smurfs are doomed, no matter how much USB Hair Zoophilia they engage in.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Its just Dances With Wolves in space.

      Although Sigourney Weaver still has it, and probably hits somebody’s fetish as a giant smurf.

      • kinnath

        Dances with Aliens

  2. Ownbestenemy

    relevant

    Free Annie’s Boobs!

    • Ted S.

      I didn’t know you were into Little Orphan Annie’s titties.

  3. Nephilium

    I just rewatched that Community episode last week. The only show that had better Christmas episodes is American Dad!, which has eventually built up a plot about the anti-Christ, demon hunting, needing to shoot Reagan to prevent a Communist take over, and boring stuff like family.

    • Sensei

      A few, but not all of the South Park Christmas specials.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Woodland Critter Christmas is my favorite Christmas episode of any show.

      • Rat on a train

        A must see for every family this time of year.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    But I will play the Spider Man game when it’s released for PC.

    *scruffysensetingling*

      • UnCivilServant

        Mild Morales is okay, if a bit unmemorable. I keep forgetting he had a game.

  5. SDF-7

    “A letter is being sent to companies like EA, Activision Blizzard and Riot” (lol, the passive voice)

    Would love for the game companies to respond with something along the lines of “Unlike the United States Federal Government as witnessed by the Twitter Files and the last two years, we believe in freedom of speech and not muzzling our customers on the whim of someone else’s Representative. Kindly take a short walk off of a Edward Kennedy Memorial Bridge, you moral hypocrites.”

    And for the sake of your sanity, don’t glance at the comments. Products of the current educational system, from the looks of them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You mean like this except?

      Anything that remotely incites violence on another individual (as most hate speech does) loses the protections of the First Amendment.

      • The Other Kevin

        So anything this person says that makes me want to punch them should be banned.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        For the last time, “hate speech” does not exist.

        “Speech progs don’t like” is an ever-growing category however.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Goebbels disagrees. They just haven’t repeated the phrase enough quite yet.

      • SDF-7

        Yup… had that one particularly in mind. Someone tried to correct them with SCOTUS links, but the old “Fire in a theater” bullshit twisted with a healthy mix of “anything that makes someone potentially mad is INCITEMENT” was pretty prevalent.

      • slumbrew

        How does that person managed to tie their own shoes?

    • rhywun

      Products of the current educational system, from the looks of them.

      To be fair, it is Kotaku.

  6. Mojeaux

    I will once again plug Violent Night and its adorableness. Die Harder and Home Alone had a baby.

    • The Other Kevin

      We’re planning on seeing that. Based a lot on your recommendation.

    • Nephilium

      It’s on the list. I’m definitely up for watching it, I think I’ve even managed to convince the girlfriend.

    • Fatty Bolger

      With a side of John Wick.

      • SDF-7

        Good John Wick — or spinning into the ludicrous “Everyone in New York is an assassin” John Wick?

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you been to New York?

      • SDF-7

        Ok… I don’t think they’re all professional assassins. 😉 Happy?

      • Rat on a train

        Shot and fall off a building and survive John Wick?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah wife and myself want to watch too

  7. SDF-7

    “Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 Arrives in Fall 2023”

    I’m contemplating the PC port of the first one. Maybe if it ever goes on sale…. Just thinking it looks like Spider-Man: Arkham City in some ways, and I did enjoy (most) of that game… [not the “Do this stupid stupid timing move” crap, but the story and general look and feel].

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s a fun game.

      • SDF-7

        Maybe with the Winter Sale kicking off next week they’ll mark it down. I’ll keep trying to remember how to play Master of Magic effectively in the remake that came out this week until then.

  8. The Other Kevin

    Happy week before Christmas everyone! Today we started our cookie baking, which will continue for the next one or two days. We’re planning on seeing Avatar 2 and Violent Night at some point.

    • Nephilium

      I still need to find time to rewatch Hogfather and Black Friday before Christmas… there’s still time.

      • The Last American Hero

        Thumbs up on the Hogfather.

  9. Animal

    The weekend before Christmas approaches. Hope you’re doing something good with it.

    Staying warm. Date night with Mrs. Animal tonight. Lunch at the Sheep Creek Lodge tomorrow. Probably Zoom tomorrow night followed by ice cream/movie night. Usual stuff.

  10. Michael Malaise

    No interest in Avatar 2. Will see Violent Night. Saw The Fabelmans on Sunday. It was decent.

  11. Ownbestenemy

    First day of two week vacation and I spend 3 hours watching LOtR Return of the King…and still cringe at the ‘I am no man!’ scene.

    • SDF-7

      Don’t mess with the classics there, Polyphemus.

    • Drake

      One cringe in 10 hours of run time is incredible compared to today’s Hollywood.

      • UnCivilServant

        Unless I’m misremembering, it was also in the original source material.

      • SDF-7

        Most definitely it was.

      • R.J.

        It was.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Twas, but better delivered.

        “Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!”

        Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. “But no living man am I!”

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yep. But it was much better in the book.

        Then out of the blackness in his mind he thought that he heard Dernhelm speaking; yet now the voice seemed strange, recalling some other voice that he had known.

        “Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”

        A cold voice answered: “Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in they turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where they flesh shall be devoured, and they shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”

        A sword rang as it was drawn. “Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.”

        “Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!”

        Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. “But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”

        Also, it’s been a long time, but I remember it being a surprise that it was Eowyn when reading it the first time. The movie made it obvious, ruining the surprise for people who hadn’t read the books.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Would have been better if they’d done it like the book, but I’m guessing it was compressed for time and ended up coming out a little cheesy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah I think it was that there was no reveal

    • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

      The really sad part was that scene in the book really changed me as a child, and in the fuckin’ movies it sucked balls.

  12. Sensei

    “It’s Been 25 Years Since Pokémon Accidentally Gave Hundreds of People Seizures”

    And now in typical government fashion many older anime now have a variation of the “surgeon general” warning at the start of each show.

    What Happened To The “Watch This Program In A Well-Lit Room” Warnings?

    You can see it here at the start.
    Kare Kano Opening HQ

    For you Evangelion fans this with Gainax’s next anime project. Good show, but it came from a teenage girl’s comic which I find a bit funny.

  13. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Writing a Christmas card to a friend who lost his wife to cancer in September. Still not sure what to say.

    • R.J.

      Ooff. I just went in person to see one if my friend’s moms for Christmas after he died. I felt like there was nothing I could write adequately.

      • DEG

        Sorry.

    • Sensei

      Wow, I don’t envy you.

      I just spent two hours trying to set up an appointment to buy a car. The dealership experience has not change in the slightest here in Northern NJ. I feel like I need to take a long bath.

      I’d still rather have to do what I did than write that Christmas Card. Sorry for your friend’s loss.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Happy Holidays?

      …I’ll see myself out.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Okay, just write what you would normally write. It’s probably tough enough on him as it is, and he will appreciate that you spent the time to write. Knowing he still has friends at this time is the most meaningful thing.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

  14. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Well, RV repair guy has my phone # now. I had to scramble to cute up a bit when my neighbor gave me a 5-minute warning. Then my other neighbor monopolized his time (other neighbor is a straight white dude). I’m-a give him holy hell for cock blocking me.

    • SDF-7

      So… we’re still waiting for your ladder to get epoxy’ed but at least signs are looking promising? Congrats, KK.

      • Ownbestenemy

        *polite applause*

    • robodruid

      Going to bring him onto Happy Hour so we can approve of him?

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        Yeah, but knowing this crowd, everyone will be sitting there, cleaning a shotgun nonchalantly.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Doesn’t that happen anyways?

      • The Hyperbole

        Surprisingly I can only recall one time on the Zooms that a Glib showed off his gun collection.

      • Sean

        I don’t Zoom.

      • MikeS

        Did you preface it by saying, “who’s got their tickets to the gun shooow?”

      • The Hyperbole

        ‘Sun’s out, Gun’s out.’

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Be careful what you wish for

    The adoption of electric vehicles and rise of cryptocurrency mining pose emerging challenges to U.S. power reliability in upcoming years, the North American Electric Reliability Corporation said on Thursday.

    More EVs, spurred by government policies such as the U.S. Inflation Reduction Act, and energy-intensive mining of bitcoin will add demand on the nation’s fragile electrical grid while power plant closures outpace the replacement of new capacity and severe weather intensifies, NERC said in its long-term reliability assessment.

    “These new electric uses can significantly alter the nature of how the system is going to be operated and what it needs to be able to provide,” Mark Olson, manager for reliability assessments at NERC, which is responsible for the reliability of U.S. power grids, said on a webcast.

    Citing estimates from the California Energy Commission, NERC said electrical load from plug-in EVs by 2030 could lead to an increase of 5,500 megawatts of demand at midnight and 4,600 megawatts of demand at 10 a.m. on a typical weekday, a jump of 25% and 20%, respectively, compared with current levels.

    Sure, let’s increase demand and cut supply. What’s the worst that could happen?

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m sure it will be fine, the greedy capitalists will figure it out.

    • kinnath

      It could blow out just like a huge fish tank.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Those poor fish

      • mexican sharpshooter

        LOL

  16. Ownbestenemy

    Teen #3 just got his first speeding ticket. Tagged at 50 in a 35 but cop wrote up 40. I should challenge it cause the radar detector was last calibrated in 2013….

    • Nephilium

      Don’t you mean, he should challenge it?

    • Mojeaux

      Nah, nah, nah. Around here it’s “driving a defective vehicle,” i.e., “the speedometer ain’t right.” Still gotta get a lawyer for that, though.

    • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

      I guess he didn’t say to the cop “if I was black, would you have written for 60?”

      Sounds like the cop did him a solid.

  17. Nephilium

    It’s Friday, and I’m at home. That means that I’ll be kicking off the Zoom/Happy Hour/Holiday movie appreciation discussion at 20:00 Eastern. I will not be home tomorrow, as there is a sportsball game that I have tickets to, if you watch it, you can keep en eye out for me.

  18. Sensei

    Let’s go Brandon!

    The new price of the F-150 Lightning Pro, an entry-level model meant for commercial and business customers, will be $55,974 — up nearly 8%, or $4,000, from previous pricing and a 40% increase from the original pricing of $39,974 announced in May 2021.

    Ford again hikes the starting price of the F-150 Lightning pickup, now up 40% since launch

    Plus Ford was always full of shit here too. They captured the buzz and sold I believe exactly 0 of the base model trucks. It’s an example where FedGov could actually be useful for deceptive sales practices instead of the usual bullshit.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Good luck buying any trim level

      Due to high demand, the current model year is no longer available for retail order. Contact your dealer for more information.

      • kinnath

        Trim always comes at a cost

      • slumbrew

        Preach, brother.

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        I think he would be looking for a peach, not a preacher.

      • slumbrew

         🍆 💦 🍑

      • Sensei

        Sometime all you want is something to ride.

      • DrOtto

        High demand = 3,000 vehicles now. They can churn out 250k gas powered F-150s though.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And that pricing is before dealer markup.

      • Sensei

        I’m waiting to feel how bad the markup is going to be on Tuesday… Maybe I’ll bring some lube as a gift.

    • Tundra

      Can we just say these are retarded? Because they are retarded.

      The hybrid one makes a lot more sense.

      Still, I think I’ll just keep driving my 2018 dinosaur burner.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    We need to raise them as pets

    Whales could play an invaluable role in the global effort to tackle climate change — by using their massive girth to store carbon that would otherwise be polluting the atmosphere, a new study has found.

    While much research on carbon storage has thus far focused on planting trees or restoring wetlands, the planet’s largest animals may also be worth significant attention, according to the study, published in Trends in Ecology and Evolution.

    ——-

    But commercial hunting has decreased the whale population by 81 percent, with unknown impacts on that system, the authors warned.

    “Whale recovery has the potential for long-term self-sustained enhancement of the ocean carbon sink,” the authors wrote, referring to an entity that absorbs more carbon than it releases.

    “The full carbon dioxide reduction role of great whales (and other organisms) will only be realized through robust conservation and management interventions that directly promote population increases,” they added.

    Whales are carbon sinks.

    • Tres Cool

      I read that as “cabrón sinks” and thought, this isnt tuesdays links?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Hmmm …whale tacos al carbón?

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        It is Tres…

    • Nephilium

      Wait a minute… Star Trek IV was right?

    • rhywun

      JFC carbon dioxide is not a pollutant already.

  20. DEG

    Afew weeks ago, US Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen appeared on the Late Show With Stephen Colbert to discuss a range of issues both political and personal.

    That’s a big ole pile o’ shit.

    As Axios reports, the seven Democratic representatives—including Lori Trahan (Massachusetts), Katie Porter (California) and Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon—have all co-signed a letter, which is looking to “better understand the processes you have in place to handle player reports of harassment and extremism encounters in your online games, and ask for consideration of safety measures pertaining to anti-harassment and anti-extremism.”

    Fuck off slavers.

    So assuming you aren’t waiting months to see it at home, when is the best time to pee during The Way of Water?

    I’m not going to see it at all, so timing when I go piss is not a problem.

    What would Christmas be without Allison Brie?

    🙂

    Huh. Not only is the character Jewish, but Brie’s boobpedia page says her mother is Jewish, so she’s Jewish too.

  21. The Other Kevin

    Twitter Files part 6 is out. It shows a nice cozy relationship between the FBI and Twitter, and shows direct requests by the FBI to suspend accounts.

    • Michael Malaise

      Biden shat himself, which is a more scentsative thing.

  22. mikey

    Wind turbines. Cool Engineering but … .Sustainable? Renewable
    https://youtu.be/IF40SuH7Qi0
    A good watch if like HowThingsAreMade videos (I do).
    Wonder how long the turbine has t spin before it pays back all the energy that went into installing and decommissioning it.

    • Sensei

      But they are so green!

      What happens to all the old wind turbines?

      Welcome to the wind turbine graveyard. It stretches a hundred metres from a bend in the North Platte River in Casper, Wyoming.

      Between last September and this March, it will become the final resting place for 1,000 fibreglass turbine blades.

      These blades, which have reached the end of their 25-year working lives, come from three wind farms in the north-western US state. Each will be cut into three, then the pieces will be stacked and buried.

      • MikeS

        Too local: These blades have been “being prepared for recycling” for 6 years now. They are in what used to be a small hay field right along a well traveled secondary highway. The sign is getting weather worn and has been rehung by someone at least twice, and yet they never move.

      • Tundra

        Christ.

        How do we stop these lunatics?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Somewhere north of twenty years

      • MikeS

        And they last somewhere south of twenty years.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Twitter Files part 6 is out. It shows a nice cozy relationship between the FBI and Twitter, and shows direct requests by the FBI to suspend accounts.

    No First Amendment issue!

    Nothingburger!

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Old news.

    • The Other Kevin

      No court order, no problem!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    These blades, which have reached the end of their 25-year working lives, come from three wind farms in the north-western US state. Each will be cut into three, then the pieces will be stacked and buried.

    They should be turned into tiny houses for homeless people.

    • slumbrew

      JFC

    • The Hyperbole

      “Cops Said”

      I’ll wait for the video.

      • slumbrew

        Fair.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How very Jersey

    • Sean

      From Paterson? I believe it.

      • creech

        Didn’t know the Amish were up in that neck of the woods. And Jamira is an unfamiliar name for an Amish woman.

  25. hayeksplosives

    Re: Avatar. I am now so jaded by big action and Marvel universe crossover shit that I am numb to it.

    I am quite content with “Resident Alien” level action on my 84” TV in the comfort of my own home.

    Also, Alan Tudyk trips my trigger somehow. I like the wonky eye and his sense of humor.

    • slumbrew

      I gave up on that show with 3 episodes on the DVR. Tudyk aside, I just hate or am indifferent to everyone on the show.

    • Mojeaux

      Did you see A Knight’s Tale? He’s in that.

      • Fatty Bolger

        That movie had some really interesting actors near the beginning of their careers.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Rufus Sewell is underrated. Probably the best part of The Man in the High Castle.

  26. Ozymandias

    HEY! DID YOU ALL HEAR ABOUT THAT GIANT FISH TANK IN BER- …*reads morning, noon, and afternoon links*
    Never mind.

    Hope all the Glibertariat are having happy holidays. Going to enjoy some time with the missus this weekend while the kids are out of town.

    Re: Twitter files #6. Of course the FBI had a special portal for removing “disinformation.”
    A number of lawsuits (FOIA, 1A, et al) have been using the Twitter files to help get more discovery.
    It’s as bad or worse than anyone here would imagine. The CDC, in conjunction with the WHO, Google’s APAC (Asian Pacific region), Facebook, and many others were all in on fighting the “infodemic” and using “social inoculation” to mitigate it. Facebook boasted of removing more than 16MM posts (on both Fbook and Insta) for violating their vaccine misinformation policies.

    Check out aflegal.org if you’re suffering from low blood pressure and need a lift.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I love you Ozy, but I’d hate to spoil my gin buzz with all that right now.

    • The Other Kevin

      I wasn’t aware of all those lawsuits. Around here we’re yawning because we knew this was happening, but to have real proof that is admissible in court is kind of a big deal. Thanks as always for your perspective.

  27. slumbrew

    Alright, year-end self-assessment done, a mere 31 days late; I definitely just started phoning it in the more I worked on it. My manager didn’t care I was this late with it and, I suspect it doesn’t really matter what I wrote – he no-doubt already knows what he wants to rate me/reward me with.

    HR requires their gesticulations.

    • KSuellington

      Dear HR,

      I’m 2022 I continued to be my awesome self. My one glaring weakness being a severe difficulty in quantifying my awesomeness. This is made up by my humbleness and brevity.

      Yours truly,

      slumbrew

      • Mojeaux

        Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.

      • Shirley Knott

        I try to be humble and self-effacing, but I’m not very good at it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        God, I wish I had come up with that for my self assessments.

      • hayeksplosives

        I might have to use that just to see if my boss is paying attention.

      • slumbrew

        “We had a chance to meet this young man and, boy, that’s just a straight-shooter with upper-management written all over him”.

      • Sensei

        One of my favorite bits.

      • slumbrew

        I’m sorely tempted to do a riff on this, but I suspect that’d result in a call to the cops these says:

        Acknowledgements

        Who should I thank? My so-called “colleagues,” who laugh at me behind my back, all the while becoming famous on my work? My worthless graduate students, whose computer skills appear to be limited to downloading bitmaps off of netnews? My parents, who are still waiting for me to quit “fooling around with computers,” go to med school, and become a radiologist? My department chairman, a manager who gives one new insight into and sympathy for disgruntled postal workers?

        My God, no one could blame me — no one! — if I went off the edge and just lost it completely one day. I couldn’t get through the day as it is without the Prozac and Jack Daniels I keep on the shelf, behind my Tops-20 JSYS manuals. I start getting the shakes real bad around 10am, right before my advisor meetings. A 10 oz. Jack ‘n Zac helps me get through the meetings without one of my students winding up with his severed head in a bowling-ball bag. They look at me funny; they think I twitch a lot. I’m not twitching. I’m controlling my impulse to snag my 9mm Sig-Sauer out from my day-pack and make a few strong points about the quality of undergraduate education in Amerika.

        If I thought anyone cared, if I thought anyone would even be reading this, I’d probably make an effort to keep up appearances until the last possible moment. But no one does, and no one will. So I can pretty much say exactly what I think.

        Oh, yes, the acknowledgements. I think not. I did it. I did it all, by myself.

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        Outside of a CS/EE dept. grad students with even that modicum of skill are miles away past the professors. There is a reason for the term “academic code.”

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        I’ma gonna send that to my HR director wife. She thinks me funny.

      • slumbrew

        He’s still teaching (at my alma mater, no less), but he may have throttled it back on such hi-jinks.

      • DEG

        I did something similar for self-assessment for a performance review several employers ago.

        I remember my boss laughing at my explanation and then saying something that amounted to, “Yeah, I agree this assessment is bullshit, but don’t ever do that again.”

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Hope you get your cable fixed, KK.

    • slumbrew

      “Hello. Meine dispatcher says there’s something wrong with deine kable?”

      • Bob Boberson

        +1 Karl Hungus

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Alleged incident

    In a three-tweet thread, Musk said any account providing “real-time” location information of any person would be suspended because “it is a physical safety violation.” The billionaire also alleged that on Tuesday night, a “crazy stalker” followed and climbed onto the hood of a car carrying Musk’s son.

    Musk promised to take legal action against the college student who ran the flight-tracking account, which went by @ElonJet, and any “organizations who supported harm to my family.”

    On Thursday, the Los Angeles Police Department said no police report had been filed about the incident that drew Musk’s concern.

    “LAPD’s Threat Management Unit is aware of the situation and Tweet by Elon Musk and is in contact with his representatives and security team,” the department said in a statement. “No crime reports have been filed yet.”

    The police statement comes as Twitter and Musk face increasing scrutiny over a wave of suspensions, including several journalists who cover Musk.

    ——-

    Thursday night, Musk posted several tweets responding to the journalists’ account suspensions.

    “Criticizing me all day long is totally fine, but doxxing my real-time location and endangering my family is not,” one tweet read.

    “They posted my exact real-time location, basically assassination coordinates, in (obvious) direct violation of Twitter terms of service,” said another.

    No police report? Well, that settles it. It never happened.

    If there really was somebody on the hood of that car, I suspect he’s goddam lucky Elon’s “driver” didn’t plug him.

  30. hayeksplosives

    Speaking of accidents, I had the unpleasant surprise of being served a certified mail piece from the Nevada State Troopers’ office demanding that I respond within 10 days to schedule a meeting with said trooper and bring my car, the insurance, registration etc.

    The couple who were in the car with which I swapped paint (sideswiped) are alleging injury so they’ve stepped it up a notch legally.

    So today I remembered that Elon has my back. I went to the Tesla console, pulled the USB stick, uploaded the videos of the accident from ALL car angles to my insurer (USAA) and then to my surprise learned that the car automatically saves the subsequent 10 minutes of video footage which show the friendly exchange of insurance info, taking of pictures, the driver walking around comfortably and her passenger (her husband) also exiting the car and walking around comfortably.

    I’m going to bring the footage to the trooper meeting too. Take THAT, scammers!

    • Sean

      That’s pretty cool and quite handy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sweet

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Nice! A very good reminder to finally get dashcams for my cars.

      My Ring caught the drunken hit and run asshole who took out part of my fence and rammed the gate. He grudgingly forked over the cash to repair after seeing the video had his license plate.

    • Sensei

      Problem is that it was never designed for that. It saves in 10 minute chunks, but can have seconds long breaks in between those 10 minute chunks. Count your lucky stars that the odds worked out.

      Also, not specific here, but with adrenaline and whatnot it’s not uncommon to not realize you have been hurt until hours later or the next day.

      /s Tesla owner and person who started his career at a third party claims administrator.

      • Tres Cool

        ^^^ what this guy said

      • DEG

        Also, not specific here, but with adrenaline and whatnot it’s not uncommon to not realize you have been hurt until hours later or the next day.

        I had that happen with my neck after a wreck. Single car (I had poorly hit a patch of ice) so no one else involved. For a few hours after the wreck, no pain. Then… bam…

        I didn’t have to wear a cervical collar but I went through some physical therapy for it. No problems since.

      • R.J.

        That happened when I broke my foot. I was embarrassed that I fell down while staring at a Dodge Viper. I finished wandering about, maybe two hours. Only hurt a bit. That night my foot turned black.

      • Ted S.

        Oh shit, the “Hawt” comment was supposed to be here.

      • R.J.

        It was funnier about calling the insurance company!

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        “I bet she’s hideous. What are you wearing… Gretg”

        “Uh, kahkis'”

      • SDF-7

        Yeah, no kink shaming here, Ted S…. you want to get your insurance adjusted… you want to push your claim… you want to renew your policy… you do you, man.

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        It happened when I fell into a hole with the phone company. Nothing bad, until the next day. Then I was fuk’d.

      • hayeksplosives

        That’s why I called USAA first. They are the pros.

      • Ted S.

        Hawt.

    • Tres Cool

      My guess is that they’ll claim that at that moment they had no idea of the degree of injury, some doc (usually a chiropractor) will back it up, USAA will write a check to shut them up, their counsel gets 33%, and they move on down the road.

    • DEG

      Not bad.

    • KSuellington

      Nice. Hopefully their official statements are very much conflicting with the video and you can ask if it’s a crime to falsely report details of an accident. I hate scammers. My parents were once sued by some guy claiming a trip and fall in their laundromat gave him serious knee issues. The video showed him trip as he didn’t realize there was a step between the sections. He then spent 45 minutes strolling about, calmly reading, and then folding his laundry and carrying it out. The suit got dropped as soon as his lawyer received the video copy.

    • Mojeaux

      I was in an accident a year ago this past May. Took about a week before my hips started hurting. That was the only variable. Called a lawyer, yadda yadda yadda.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m considering retaining a lawyer to come with me to the appointment with the state trooper. I believe I’m within my rights to do that.

    • R.J.

      I do agree that attempting to prosecute him for anything is doomed to fail. For fuck’s sake, no more damn committees. CHANGE SOME LAWS so this can’t be done ever again. Reduce size and scope of the government and shut the fuck up about the special investigations..

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        And while they are at it, end ObamaCare, right?

        Shakes fist at John McCain’s brain tumor “Why did you let this happen?”

      • rhywun

        Reduce size and scope of the government and shut the fuck up about the special investigations.

        I’d accept both.

    • Lord Humungus

      And this is am example why I stopped reading Reason.

  31. grrizzly

    Maybe I should go back to T-Mobile.

    An FBI agent just reached out with a key point about the “gross” subservience of Twitter before the FBI: “A lot of companies we deal with are adversarial to us. Like T-Mobile is totally adversarial. They love leaking things we’re saying if we don’t get our process right.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Anti FBI, lousy coverage T-Mobile OR spreads the corporate legs for every law enforcement and intelligence agency out there, good coverage Verizon and AT&T. The choice is yours.

      • R.J.

        T Mobile has great coverage as long as I stay at home.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Same here, anywhere outside of cities, towns, and major transportation routes you can just forget it.

      • Tundra

        I’ve not had any issues. I use it in the Caribbean, ffs!

      • R.J.

        Why has Pat not written about this? Clearly an oversight.

    • Sensei

      Look Twitter and FB feel like they are saving the world. T Mobile just wants to make an evil buck.

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      I need someone with T-Mobile service to come up to my site. I don’t trust their map

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The number of commenters on those threads who think this is just all fine and fucking peachy is depressing.

  32. Lord Humungus

    I’m laying odds – what are the chances of the FBI getting into a firefight with the Elon Musk security detail?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If it gets bothersome enough they’ll just find another Lee Harvey.

      • R.J.

        Elon took a major step this week towards his own personal safety abd the safety of anyone who has been location doxxed. At least now he has leas chance of being murdered by a random psycho. The FBI or CIA, (same shit) will have to be more obvious. Damn them all. What have we become?

  33. westernsloper

    over the first two years of the Covid pandemic, the money supply increased by 41 percent

    JFC we are so fucked.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nevermind that shit, where’s all this inflation coming from?!