Merry Christmas goyim! Wherever you are, whoever you spent it with, whatever your beliefs, and whatever your personal circumstances, I hope it has been a great day for you. I don’t imagine many of you are going to see this since you will be with family and/or watching football.
No one wants to discuss fitness today. Instead, I’m rolling with this week’s ongoing theme of posting Christmas music. As all of you know, I am a huge fan of hard rock and heavy metal. When I went looking for Christmas music within those genres, I expected to find a very limited number. I was wrong. Very wrong. To my great surprise, I had to cull the list to keep this post manageable.
Fair warning: most of these are original songs, faithful renditions, or outright comedic. None of them are deliberately sacrilegious. Having said that, this all hard rock and heavy metal. If you are expecting choir music, then look elsewhere.
Without further ado, here is my nonexclusive list of some of the best hard rock and heavy metal Christmas songs:
MikeS’ favorite Christmas song. I recently learned this was written by the lead guitar player after reading about some of then-multimillionaire, playboy Donald Trump’s extracurricular activities.
The Christmas song Tundra is singing to his wife tonight. It was well received by GlibFitters last year so it’s no surprise.
These guys put out an entire Christmas album. In this one they look ridiculous but do a traditional rendition of a classic. This one is comical.
Metal? Goth? Both? You be the judge.
These guys wish they were as funny as Steel Panther. It’s still a fun song.
Was this their tryout for Trans Siberian Orchestra? I have no other explanation.
Satchel played with him in Fight! I never expected a Christmas album from him but here we are.
The pairing is completely unsurprising. However, I would never have expected this from them.
More outlandish costumes than KISS and a head scratching song.
How on earth do these guys not have a Christmas album? They need a Jewish manager.
I want the backstory on how this was made. He was 90 and a knight when this was recorded. Even crazier, his follow up Christmas album produced a song that hit number 18 on the Billboard chart, making him the oldest performer to chart.
I can’t believe there is a video for this song. Only there are so few music videos made in the 70s.
This is not a Christmas song, but it does involve Jesus. Cut (((me))) some slack. It’s Christmas.
For anyone who didn’t get to watch all the Christmas movies they wanted too, here is a two minute highlight reel.
How did you miss the version of this song?:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-cUz-zAATNI
That is pretty awesome. Also, an exemplary ‘first.’ Thanks.
I said it was nonexclusive. Tonio is right. That’s an excellent first. Merry Christmas.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8OCR7sIec1Q&feature=shares
“The Christmas song Tundra is singing to his wife tonight”
Oooooh yeah!
Thanks, Chafed!
The ladies love a ballad. I hope this works as well as last week’s suggestion.
I’ve got an anniversary coming up on a few days, too!
Lucky Mrs Tundra!
May I suggest a gift?
https://steelpantherrocks.com/products/the-butthole-burner-pedal
Lovely!
Just got through with Christmas dinner. On the third bottle of wine and enjoying spending time with family and friends.
Jesus Built my Hot Rod was my first CD. I got the single on CD six years before I owned a CD player because the single couldn’t be found on tape.
I sported the 426 Hemi t-shirt cover of this album for many years before it disintegrated with time.
Well done Timeloose.
I’m damn near comatose – best roast beef (ribeye roast) I’ve ever cooked, the wife’s corn pudding, broccoli and Sokol Blosser Pinot Noir. Wish we had had a couple of you over – we’re loaded with leftovers (and it wasn’t even a big roast). Looking forward to a good long walk tomorrow with the dogs – we all need it (and the weather will finally be tolerable).
Good feeling, innit? “Too much food.” That’s something half the world can’t say. I’m not being facetious. I’m doing some deep-dive gratitude exercises.
Yeah, I have to be careful how much I drink – enough that I don’t care how pissed I am at my brothers but not enough to call them and let them know.
Sort of?
TW: depressing
There is no version of “Carol of the Bells” I won’t like.
I haven’t heard that one before. I have mixed feelings about it. I assume Nikki Sixx wrote about when he was detoxing/getting sober. So, I can understand that was hellish experience for him. At the same time it strikes me as overwrought. Maybe because of the title. That type of title goes with Spinal Ta or Mercyful Fate (who I don’t follow). It’s too over the top.
That album goes with his Heroin Diaries book. It’s his diary of getting clean in 1986-1987. It’s not tongue-in-cheek, although it doesn’t take itself to be as serious as gospel. Interesting you said overwrought, though … he acknowledges that in a different song. Paraphrase: “Maybe this is the universe’s way of getting me to my greater purpose, but you know addicts—it’s all about us.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqeJ38DThVc
Beautiful. Chills.
That is my favorite carol. And a very nice version, to aboot.
This one’s a little bit different. Rock version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQDy8yuhcao
As a reader service, Glibs is providing the list of gifts from Twisted Sister’s reworking of Twelve Days of Christmas, as well as a reminder of the awesomeness of Dee Snider totally pwning a senate subcommittee and Tipper Gore’s PMRC.
12 silver crosses
11 black mascaras
10 pairs of platforms
9 tattered t-shirts
8 pentagrams
7 leather jackets
6 cans of hairspray
5 skull earrings
4 quarts of Jack
3 studded belts
2 pairs of spandex pants
and a tattoo of Ozzy!
🤘🤘 You’re the man Tonio.
Also, I don’t know where you found today’s artwork but all of them are terrific.
[blows chef’s kiss to Chafed]
Then Dee bitched out in the CCPV.
Mrs Time played this album this morning. Love it.
Thanks for this, Chafed!
You’re welcome Swiss.
Merry Glibmas y’all. Some good tunes in that there list. I’m more of a soul Christmas music fan. I’ve been once again digging somafm’s Merry Ole Soul station this year. Posted this yesterday, but it is the funkiest Xmas tune I’ve ever heard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T-3FtRFsxw
OMG…
If you like that as much as I did you should check out their other stuff. I thought they were out of New Orleans in 1970, but it turns out they are Germans in the 90’s doing some awesome funked out soul. They recorded under a bunch of names due to some contractual dispute, but were originally known as Poets of Rhythm. This anthology is funky as all get out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlbIUEMEWPk&list=OLAK5uy_m1ruBEqZNaAGfkwnTD6XFsyTXRTvhSXFc&index=2
Wow!
This might get be cat-butted, or mocked, but: https://youtu.be/iSgEDKjmT5o?t=88
I used to sort of enjoy that tune. When Springsteen went overtly political during the Obama years soured me on all his music. Fuck that guy. He is as much a man of the people as Howard Stern.
Yeah, I get that. There was a Glibs column a while back about Springsteen and his politics – was that yours?
I still listen to his old stuff from beginning through Born in the USA, then Ghost of Tom Joad and The Rising.
Somebody over at NR wrote a bit about Springsteen when he covered Rhinestone Cowboy (during his Broadway show?), and how Glen Campbell led a more debauched life, up from and down into the depths, than middle-class Bruce, despite the music that Springsteen wrote.
There is no bad situation that can’t be made better with a little Glen Campbell applied to the situation.
It wasn’t me. I own Darkness on the Edge of Town. For decades I took it as a raw, honest album. It has long been clear his politics are left of center. That’s fine I don’t expect musicians to be political cyphers.
There is plenty of overtly lefty music I enjoy. Rage Against The Machine is the best example. When a band is overt, I know what I’m getting.
Springsteen’s endorsement just killed it for me. It wasn’t a cause or an issue. It was a politician. Get bent.
https://www.glibertarians.com/2021/03/bruce-youre-dead-to-me/
C. Anacreon nailed it. Whatever happened to him?
More obscure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijfpWunzzpQ
I never heard that before. It’s pretty good.
It’s a single with a B side. Why do I know this?
Right. Their audience would welcome a Christmas album. I mean Rob Halford and Twisted Sister have Christmas albums. Stryper fans would make a Stryper Christmas album a big success.
Not wrong. That said, I left my Stryper days behind somewhere in the middle of my second semester of college.
I get that. They remind a bit of Motörhead. I mean that as a compliment.
They are who they are and they are not going to change. They have a large enough, devoted fan base that keeps them viable. They may as well play to their strengths and give the fans what they love.
Also, the front page image reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/i0gmDCYc410?t=368
Lol
Great list Chafed.
You have excellent taste WS. 🤘🤘
and/or watching football.
What is with all the dumb ass graphics they are throwing up during Broncos Rams game? They are making the game unwatchable.
It ain’t the graphics.
Ha! At what point does Denver give their backup QB some playing time?
They should.
Ha
Yeah, what a friggin meltdown this year from Denver. How long did they give Wilson again?
The majority of that will end up nothing more than dead money against the salary cap – he won’t be seeing all that they agreed to.
27 years, I believe.
Maybe they need to show a few more “social justice” and/or jabby-jab commercials instead.
*read to the end*
Since the sideline people at this week’s NFL game are wearing “equity” shirts, I have to assume there will be no Super Bowl this year and everyone will get a trophy and everyone goes to the Pro Bowl.
The Pro Bowl that doesn’t even exist anymore; sure, they might as well appoint everyone to that status.
Just when I thought the NFL was doing their best to downplay the social justice bullshit, I hear Jim Nance reading the promo for the LA Rams’ Inspire Change initiative. Fuck you. I’ll believe they want change when they take on UTLA and advocate for charter schools.
I have news for the NFL, there are other things I can do with my time. Think I’ll head to the dog park.
I am just drinking more. Not sure if it will make it tolerable or just piss me off more.
I guess I can get an early start today.
You have to if you want to make it through this dumb ass halftime show.
I listened to the Packer radio feed for the first game.
For me there is a window of intoxication for that.
I’m getting ready to grill some ribeyes. Snack plate (shrimp, oysters, octopus) was a success. We’re watching A Christmas Story for the seventh or eighth time today, as is our tradition.
Speaking of which… “Some men are Baptists, others Catholics: my father was an Oldmobile man.” I think it’s pretty cool that the car is still up, running, and loved.
Oh, and this showed up under (well, next to) the tree this morning. I foresee a lot more steaks and pork chops being cooked over coals the next few years. I’ve literally been looking for something like this for over a decade.
Sweet! That looks perfect!
Compliments of my girl, Lindsey Stirling:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EKkzbbLYPuI
I made a turkey for Dad and me.
The wine is a white Côtes du Rhône, and Sonny is lying by Dad’s chair.
That’s lovely. Merry Christmas Ted and dad!
Turkey is always tasty, and that’s an excellent wine choice. If you like white Rhones, give Costières de Nîmes a try. White only makes up about 5% of the production in the region, but like all Costières, it’s 85 percent of Châteauneuf-du-Pape quality for 20 percent of the price. Currently around $16-20, but the challenge is in finding it.
This was a cheaper wine at $13. Dad’s white is a cheap Italian box Pinot Grigio, since he prefers sweeter wines.
I hadn’t tried a Côtes du Rhône before, and picked it up because I wanted to try something different. It’s not a bad wine at all. For Thanksgiving i had a Torrontés that I really like.
Merry Christmas, Teds’!
Very nice. I may have to make turkey & stuffing post-holidays just for the hell of it.
Oh wow! That looks fabulous.
Nice spread Ted.
How very wholesome.
*Points to avatar*
That is one hell of a view from the kitchen window!
I LIKE IT!!
I was wondering what planet he’s writing from.
Seriously what is the NFL going for with this game. Nickleodean cartoons and I just saw a D back with a furry tail. Where are the beer commercials? This is fucking weird.
I give up I had to turn it off. Fuck that noise. Are we zooming yet?
Were you watching it on Nickelodean? you realize there are two feeds. One normal one goofy Nickelodean thing.
I guess the Niclkeodean thing. I just clicked the first stream I saw. since when are they doing that?
No Idea, I just noticed when I clicked on the game I was asked which feed I wanted to view. You can also watch MNF with the Manning brothers doing the commentary instead of the regular talking heads. Choices! Capitalism for the Win!
I don’t have actual TV. I stream so apparently the guy streaming chose Nickelodeon. Dumber than dog shit it was. Who knew.
I was watching it on CBS and saw Nance and Romo get electronically slimmed. I’m with you WS. WTF?
Instant GlibFit! 😃 Where can I go to get that done to me??
You’re kidding.
*click, click, click*
OMG you’re not kidding.
I flipped over to Nickeldeon and praying that some player is caught on mic letting loose with some F-bombs.
That would be glorious.
We bailed. Watching Die Hard instead.
I just had hot dogs and beans for Christmas dinner. Because why not? I likes beenies and weenies.
Good call. I have a can of beans and some brauts I need to use. I am making nachos, chicken wings and brisket bites for dinner again. I will add the beans and brauts to the nachos.
i had a little snooze during the Packers game.
The Broncos are just sad, but I have no other more compelling alternative. Maybe I’ll nod off again.
I took like three naps today.
I’m jealous.
I’d rather be able to get a full night’s sleep again.
YouTube just served up an ad with that Wambach woman from the US soccer team. I honestly thought it was Johnny Rotten at first.
Abby Wambach? I remember liking her because of course, she is from my hometown.
Also she mostly kept herself out of the spotlight.
Just a suggestion that we repost TOK’s magnificent story later this week – doesn’t look like it was the feature for nearly a full rotation – Christmas Day or otherwise.
Second. It was hilarious!
Third! For Wednesday evening after SF?
It is good
I think it needs to be an annual tradition. It was wonderful. I’d like to see it again every Christmas.
Hark the herald angels sing
GlibFit girls are just the thing
Peace on Earth and mercy mild
These hot babes will drive you wild
https://archive.ph/h1Nb9/b1de5938b03f6361ef325045657b74d9c90597bf.webp
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/VwrOS/d048c099dc766508347a11ba6144cb3b60e0eaa0.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/aqq2W/699fefac535d076ae3a554c91aa64e6056fe4846.jpg
NSFW.
Very nice.
https://www.redgifs.com/watch/primerevolvinglizard
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/4UoU7/d2b19038fe64ad8fb2f8739db61307d827a2d302.webp
It’s a Christmas miracle!
What a fucked up day, I guess Ill start again tomorrow
Two more days, then Im out of this shit, forever
Where you goin’? I thought you loved living on the mitten?
Ha, no, I could write article describing the real Michigan, someday. Til then Im running again.
$10 says Florida.
Heh.
Twenty says downtown.
IE
Fontana or Temecula.
Then again, any place in NV would be cozy close. Place your bets!
We just watched ‘A Christmas Story’. And I found my Red Ryder. I’ll be out back shooting my eye out.
Sounds like fun.
I gave mine to my five year old great-nephew when we moved. Just as God intended.
Tres V 2.0 gets his Savage Model 64 tomorrow- if he can pry it from my hands.
Bought used it from recommendations from you lot, and Lord its fun to shoot.
Nice. My daughter spied my wife’s pink air rifle the other day. I think we’re going to give it to her later this year. She shoots guns with me on our range, but this would be the first step towards her own. Santa did bring her a butterfly trainer knife that she was very excited about.
Tres Ver 2.0, the burgeoning gym-bro was thrilled with a tank-top his Aunt got him to wear working out.
It says “Biden Can’t Ban THESE Guns”
/couldnt be prouder
You raised him right.
Good work on the boy, good job tres
👍
lol
Woot!
[sheds single, manly tear]
Is anybody doing Nephs Christmas weekend Zoom tonight?
I’ll ask.
One of these days, I’ll have to get my own zoom account.
I was there but I gave up. I guess everybody is busy. All good.
So was I you weren’t. I attribute this to antisemitism.
For people who don’t hate Jews.
Oh well.
Is that a very sad attempt to guilt us into joining you? You’re not my (((mother))).
https://youtu.be/-_7FaWnlhS4
I joined!
Can one join if he only hates Jews because he hates everyone?
If you particularly hate the people that hate Jews, are you an anti-anti-semite? Or just a Jew ?
Merry Christmas all. I actually had an on topic Glibfit too. Pipe burst on the hose spigot yesterday and it’s still too cold to risk running a hose to another spigot. So that means filling up 5 gallon buckets in the bathtub to dump in the livestock water trough. I planned to haul six buckets or so at time in the mower trailer, but the pedal broke off my mower as soon as I started it up. It wasn’t worth putting the carry all on the tractor, so cue ~20 trips hauling buckets of water by hand. Cattle were appreciative.
I’ve put it off for 9 years, but this Spring I’m finally going to run an underground line out to the pasture and put in a frost proof spigot right there next to the cattle trough.
~20 trips hauling buckets of water by hand.
Nice workout. I ate about a lb of prime rib with my folks, took a nap and got pissed off about football today so you did much better on the glib fit routine.
Prime rib sounds really good. Check on the nap. The kids got up at 5am, so I ended up falling back asleep in my chair after a few early morning drinks.
It’s that magical time of year again-
Dave barry’s Year In Review
I used to really like Dave Barry until he finally let his libness roll into his writing. Not much of a fan anymore.
I can’t stand that schtick.
“Am I being sarcastic? Who knows!”
Asa resident of Miami I think he always leaned that direction. But he can be even-keeled when it comes to making fun of the gov’t.
That was damn funny.
Sabaton’s Christmas Truce
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HPdHkHslFIU
That was on the bubble but I decided to cull it. Good song.
Cornbread is made. Spiral honey ham is reheating in the oven, along with sweet potato.
Changed the oil in the wife’s car today, and the air filters, pissing the wife off.
D1 and hubby made “spoonbread” a sort of cornbread soufflé which we spooned cranberries over. Said to be a Texas tradition, very yummy. We also had a spiral-cut ham. Nice day.
Why was she pissed? She wanted to save her old oil?
She’s a woman. She doesn’t need a reason to be pissed.
a) I fucked up our marriage, and probably ended it
b) the oil change doesn’t really have much to do with it, other exacerbating. She doesn’t like the idea of relying on me to maintain her car because it takes away for her feeling of independence. This is despite multiple shops that she would go to not fixing things on her car.
Er, sorry I brought it up. I made a glib comment and didn’t realize that there were deeper wounds.
Nothing to be sorry about! I put it out there. Glibbiness has saved my sanity more than once in the past too.
Have you tried serenading her with a First? I can help you write it.
Wife is napping, lamb is in the oven, beer is about to get cracked open. Dog went to the park and got a long walk.
Merry Christmas you reprobates.
So, one of the gifts from my wife were bags of Indian (red dot) snacks. Like, real, genuine Punjabi made (albeit local) treats. Holy Sacred Cow, hot and tasty!
Much better than any three-rock salsa!
Because it is necessary to do this before Christmas expires
Psssst. Look upthread.
that’s what I get for being in and out all afternoon.
Very first link. It doesn’t get any worse than that.
Racy Undercarriage.
?
I just learned Stix Zadinia and Jesus share a birthday. It’s another Christmas miracle.
Christmas is a seconder holiday. Firstmas? That’s a holiday.
And this is one of the most important Firstmas’s in the history of my people. The greatest drama yet known to Firsting is playing out throughout the Firstiverse in frequencies that only those with third eyes can perceive.
Meh, I did the Firstmas thing 5 years ago.
Merry FISTmas ?
Absolutely, completely, totally, NSFW
JFC, no.
Absolutely, completely, totally, no.
Firstmas is a time when the pure of First celebrate their accomplishments throughout the year. You, you small-handed vulgarian, you are no Firster.
Who wants to be like you, anyway?
Everyone. That was one of the most moronic questions I have ever fielded.
But have you ever fielded a question? You’re constantly speaking in the 3rd person, I doubt you know who you are.
https://journals.lww.com/amjforensicmedicine/Citation/1987/03000/Delayed_Death_from__Fisting_.26.aspx
You have this stuff bookmarked, don’t you?
That is oddly pacific.
This depravity – these perversions – have nothing whatsoever to do with the art of Firsting. The science of being First. The essence of Firstdom. The spirit of Firstmas.
That’s not fisting, it’s forearming. I have no idea how you find this stuff. But bless you for doing so.
Holy Moly
Depressing article, sorry, not because of the article, because of me.
I have not been able to work out in over a week and I’ve gained back a couple of lbs. Depressing. I don’t know why this has happened, not really any idea, just lost my motivation and need to get it back.
I lost 47 lbs and toned up a lot before I stopped working out and made excuses to eat sweets because it’s the holidays. Well, paid for it with 2 lbs. When you are only 15 lbs from your target weight, 2 lbs is a LOT. So close, yet so far away. I felt so good to finally be under 190 lbs for the first time in like… forever seems like. The lbs just fell off for a while, so fast it sort of scared me, but for about the last 2 months, it slowed waaaayyyyyy down to a crawl, and now has stopped completely. I have to recalibrate and get back on it.
You can do it. A year ago I was just getting over the ‘vid. Id lost 11 lbs in 10 days, despite existing on Campbell’s Chunky Soups and those old people “Boost” and “Ensure” shakes. I was down to 160-ish lbs, and Jugsy said “you look like you have cancer. Put some weight on”. Which I did, rationalizing that “I can eat carbs until I get back to my ideal weight (~180 lbs) and go back to low-carb. DIdnt work so well cause carbs taste really good and I have no sense of moderation. Ive been in the “dialing it back” (not counting the bag of Doritos I demolished yesterday) phase for the past couple of months.
Post ‘vid I craved buffalo wings and potato skins daily (hourly) like a pregnant woman (person). Once I got over that, its been Doritos by the bag.
So did you have a boy or a girl?
Seems to be elephantine. The trunk is already sticking out.
Gender hasn’t been assigned yet.
Thanks, Tres! I’m like you, when I get onto doing something, I have no sense of moderation, at all. The reason I think I have fried out my Gaba receptors for good.
As Tres Sr. once told me, “12 Steps? Who needs 12 steps? What kind of program is that? You need 2 steps- 1) identify the behavior that causes problems. 2) stop doing it. Dumbass.”
Yes, my Dad is Red Foreman.
That’s pretty much how I quit smoking. Step 1) throw the cigarette that I’m smoking out of the window of the car. Step 2) throw the rest of the pack out the window.
No gum. No patches.
Are you David Goggins’ father?
*side eyes you fat asses*
http://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/04fe35af26bdc01161601d7d3031f0487b6395.jpg?v=3
Metal used to be my fav workout music. Lots of Dokken, Megadeath, stuff like that.
🤘🤘 It’s still there for you Hyperion.
Yeah, I know, but I’m having depression and zero motivation. Holiday blues or something I guess, only not the good sort of blues.
Sorry man. I feel for you. FWIW, when I have gone down that road, I find doing a little something goes a long way. For me, it provides some direction with no pressure. After awhile, I usually start noticing some good feeling for doing a little something. It starts a positive feedback loop.
Im with you. My mom died 16 years ago tomorrow, and i was there to witness her final breath. Im with you- we’re all in this together.
Far more attractive and talented female guitar player than anything you reprobates have ever posted.
I’d First her.
Wow. Nice.
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!
Lita Ford is the best female guitarist ever. Fight me and I rip you endocrine system out, Jabroni
Glad that no one else has insomnia.
Of course when you go to bed early, tends to bite you in the ass.
You’re not the only one up.
I’ll drink to that
Cheers.
Time for a nap.
Good Morning everyone
Mornin y’all
I did some ass biting last night.
https://nypost.com/2022/12/25/trendiest-nyc-neighborhoods-terrorized-by-thieves-nypd-stats/
It’s your own fault for living in NY.
https://www.pennlive.com/news/2022/12/man-killed-in-pa-home-invasion-on-christmas-eve-morning-police.html
FAFO.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/16-dead-after-buffalo-area-hit-by-devastating-snowstorm-governor-says/ar-AA15EvDR?li=BBnb7Kz
Yikes.
Not too familiar with that kind of cold to be honest. What is it, people getting stuck in a snowdrift in their car or something and then freezing to death?
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/young-girl-holds-squishmallow-drive-for-pediatric-cancer-patients/article_ddf69328-8325-11ed-80fb-ef948351530a.html
Is it dusty in here?