It’s Christmas! And that means it’s only one day until Boxing Day! Since Limey’s been scarce, here’s an overview of that most British of all holidays:
On December 26th, members of all classes of society attempt to sneak up behind someone, ring a bell, and then punch them smack dab in the kidney. However, if the victim notices the sneaker, they may shout “God keep John Douglas!” at which point the would-be puncher is obliged to lay down flat, regardless of the conditions of the surface they may find themself upon, and permit their “victim” to stand upon their back and count loudly to eight. After this forfeit, the game resumes, but if someone should score two “standing eight counts” against someone, they are no longer a valid target for that opponent.
As far as the stars go, Christmas starts off with a double “magic” alignment (of the Moon and Mercury), so that’s unusually appropriate. Later in the week (Tuesday – Friday) the moon moves into opposition with Mars. Now this can easily be a sign of a rebellion crushed, but in this case, I think it’s more likely a sign of a major shift in the war. Follow my logic: That opposition holds for two days. Then the moon moves into an alignment with Jupiter (righteous domestic rule OR a change in domestic rulership) That evening Mercury goes RETROGRADE, and then the day after that, Mars ALSO goes retrograde. Is this a Washington crossing the Delaware situation? The main problem with interpreting this is that It’s unclear who the “protagonist” is in this situation, since neither of the parties is paying me.
Capricorn: 7 of Wands reversed – It is an uphill battle and you’re outnumbered.
Aquarius: Page of Coins – Someone has an opportunity to rip you off — but they don’t
Pisces: 3 of Coins – People actually follow instructions!
Aries: The Hanged Man reversed – Got nothing going on, and pretty happy about that
Taurus: 4 of Coins – You’ll hold on to what you have
Gemini: King of Swords – Don’t. Fuck. With. Me.
Cancer: Death – Endings, possibly of life.
Leo: The Tower reversed you know what, it’s Christmas we’re just gonna draw another one The Emperor reversed – Someone think’s they’re in charge, but they’re really not.
Virgo: 10 of Swords reversed – Bed of nails
Libra: 3 of Swords reversed – Overcoming disappintment.
Scorpio: 10 of Couns reversed – you know when you want something, but you can’t find it because it’s hidden under all the money lying around? This is like that.
Sagittarius: 8 of Wands – Zoom! Going fast, possibly falling in love.
I could regale everyone with the tale of Firstmas while we all await the climactic conclusion to the War Of The Bro’s.
“climactic conclusion”
Only if it involves a giant five dimensional galactic ejaculation a-la AC.
“Overcoming disappintment”
Is this like overcoming anger at the fact that the bartender short changed me on my pour?
Bartender? Strip.club on christmas?
Thanks for the tip
That won’t be forthcoming
Just the tip?
Definitely
Cancer: Death – Endings, possibly of life.
Well this is overkill
Gemini: King of Swords – Don’t. Fuck. With. Me.
Damn right you shouldn’t fuck with me.
Damn right you shouldn’t fuck with me.
#metoo. Power to the twins!
Zoom! Going fast, possibly falling in love.
Hmph.
She’s already got you housesitting her chihuahua.
Boom goes the dynamite!
King belongs to one of the young girls who works for us. Ahem.
Zoom! Going fast, possibly falling in love.
Uh-Oh
Yeah, there’s plenty I can’t find, but it sure as heck ain’t money it’s hidden under. 🙄
10 of Couns reversed – what is a coun?
It’s something that slips through when the editorial staff is celebrating the holiday.
It’s a racist slur against Latvians.
Lol
I’m good with that.
Sagittarius: 8 of Wands – Zoom! Going fast, possibly falling in love.
*guffaws, slaps knee*
Someone has an opportunity to rip you off — but they don’t
How nice of them.