Joemala: Episode 94

by | Dec 28, 2022 | Joemala | 190 comments

 

“Bomb cyclone!” Joe said as he toddled across the white sands of the St. Croix beach.

“We are far from the storm, Joe,” Dr. Biden said, caressing the loose, spotted flesh hanging from his arm.

“It’s warm here,” he said, staring at the sun. “And there is sand.”

“Yes, dear,” she said. “There is sand.”

A stray dog ran past them both, paws digging into the sand for purchase, skinny small and gray. “Commander!” Joe called after it.

“That’s not our dog,” Dr. Jill said. “He’s back in Delaware.”

“Delaware is…” Joe said and trailed off into silence.

“Here he is,” Dr. Grandma said, pointing to the man walking toward them along the beach. He was carrying an entire pineapple filled with rum and skewered fruit.

“Hello, Eirc, so good to see you again,” she said warmly, her lips slithering across his face in a polite kiss.

“Missus President,” he said and turned to Joe. “Mr. President.”

“Thank God you’re here, Barry,” Joe said. “I don’t think this is Delaware.”

“This is Eric, dear,” First Jill Lady said.

“Eric?” Joe asked, perking up. “It’s been so long, it’s so good to see you.”

Eric stared over his pineapple as he drank. He knew Joe had no idea who he was.

Jill put an hand on Joe’s arm and said, “Why don’t you go look for shells, dear.”

“Can I keep any I find?” he asked excitedly.

“Of course you can. But stay out of the water.”

“I was a lifeguard,” Joe said proudly as he walked stiffly away, staring at the sand intently.

“Is he OK?” Eric asked.

“He has his good days and his bad,” Education Doctor Biden said.

“You wanted to talk to me, ma’am?” Eric asked, throwing away his empty boozeapple.

“On a good day he remembers he’s going to run again for President in 2024,” she said. “And we need your help.”

“Wouldn’t a doctor be of more help?” he asked, watching Joe stuff handful after handful of sand into his pockets.

“I am a doctor,” she said forcefully. “What we need is a running mate.”

“What?” Eric asked.

“A running mate, a Vice President, Kamala is a disaster,” she said.

“Will the electorate accept taking her off the ticket?”

“No one likes her, she’s a void, a nothing, a braying laugh that can’t even follow her cue cards.”

“But the voters,” Eric began.

“They vote for who we tell them too, or we harvest them for ballots,” she said.

“I don’t know, I’ve got a pretty good grift running in New York,” he said.

“Small potatoes,” she said. “And you’ll be positioned to run for President yourself in 2028.”

“I have always wanted to be the first Black President,” Eric mused aloud.

“Good. We start working on getting Kamala to pull out,” Jill.edd said, laughing.

“What if she doesn’t want to go?” he asked.

“Joe!” Dr. Wife screamed. “Don’t put that in your mouth. Spit it out. SPIT. IT. OUT!”

 

Biden heads to St. Croix as winter blast kills dozens, cancels 10,000 flights

Mayor Eric Adams soaked up sun in US Virgin Islands as bomb cyclone pounded NYC 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

190 Comments

  1. Sean

    Bring in a man for VP?
    I don’t see it.

    • WTF

      But he’s a diverse man, he would be the very first diverse male VP!

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        And that is exactly how they will spin it.

        None of the diversity means anything other than getting them in place to win.

      • cyto

        Might be a 20% chance of a trans woman. They really do seem to be in a weird “I can do anything at all and get away with it” space.

      • Aloysious

        Vice President Levine?

        *thousand yard stare*

      • juris imprudent

        Even the mind of SF cannot comprehend that horror.

      • SugarFree

        Fishskin Levine will make a splendid Vice President. But I assume the first trans VP will be a mannish lesbian that has declared herself non-binary for TikTok clout in the primary.

      • juris imprudent

        Lump versus Levine for the VP slot?

      • Aloysious

        Did you just plant the idea for a transgender Fetterlump??

        ಠ_ರೃ

      • juris imprudent

        Not Lump versus Levine, Lump merges with Levine.

        [Stealing from the Babylon trailer] But here’s the twist. Neither one of them is real – they are both just characters of actor Ted Levine!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Why would you give Ted Levine such disservice?

        His character in Evolution was fantastic and one of my favorite movies.

      • juris imprudent

        He’s really a good actor, and it would take a really good actor…

      • SugarFree

        Translump, a saline-filled self-identified Lump.

        Translump are Lumps.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Wouldn’t that be a step down from Admiral?

    • wdalasio

      Bring in a man for VP?
      I don’t see it.

      Well, he could always go the Rachel Levine route.

  2. juris imprudent

    Thank God you’re here, Barry

    So glad to be reading this in private, where my laughter isn’t questioned.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    *puts hat on stick, raises slowly above windowsill*

  4. Ownbestenemy

    I enjoy the fly on the wall episodes.

    Education Doctor Biden and Wouldn’t a doctor be of more help?” he asked…“I am a doctor,” she said forcefully.

    Made me laugh

  5. juris imprudent

    Will the electorate accept taking her off the ticket?

    Why is that a question? Not even one delegate to the Democratic convention, not one. There is no great demand for her, not even amongst those who should demand her.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Akshually, she did better than Biden. Joe only received 75% of the delegate vote while she received 100% (as vp nominee).

      As for presidential delegates, she ended that campaign months before the first primary. How many delegates would she be expected to collect when not running at that point?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Also, despite several others having pledged delegates, only Bernie Sanders received actual delegate votes at the convention, besides for Biden.

      • cyto

        That underscores a weird development over the last 20 years… Parties desperately want to avoid any sort of contested primary. They annoying winners ahead of time.

        In my youth there was always talk of a brokered convention that never materialized. But at least the primaries went through to the end.

        Now everyone quits after the first two. Gotta maintain unity…

      • Fourscore

        Annoying winners, yep

      • cyto

        I swear, I am beginning to think Google autocorrect is a part of their “shape public discussion” initiative. They were nearly flawless for years. Now, I get all sorts of terrible autocorrections that come in very late, after I already saw the correct spelling. And as a second correction… Fix a fat-thumb typo and then 10 seconds laté change it again.

        They annoying winners. Sheesh.

        Worse. It has decided that “were” should always add an apostrophe to become we’re. Except when I mean we’re. Then it takes it out.

      • juris imprudent

        Ted S. is secretly a master of the Google algorithm?

      • juris imprudent

        We couldn’t stand a convention that was the standard for the majority of the history of this country.

      • cyto

        The LP still does it the old fashioned way…. Back room deals, nudity and a boot on your head….

      • juris imprudent

        -1 Daley machine

      • juris imprudent

        That kind of raucous shit used to go on INSIDE the conventions.

      • juris imprudent

        I was thinking more of these days.

    • rhywun

      They vote for who we tell them too, or we harvest them for ballots,

      It’s funny because it’s true.

      But Eric likes the nightlife. I don’t know if DC cocktail parties can scratch that itch.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Coke orgies not decadent enough? He must be a real live wire.

      • juris imprudent

        Coke orgies with Washingtonians – politicians and political flunkies? I’d have coke dick before I even snorted a line.

      • Ted S.

        But Eric likes the nightlife.

        He likes to boogie?

  6. Tonio

    “I have always wanted to be the first Black President.”

    Sick burn.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah that one and as JI pointed out that Barry comment….masterpiece!

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Who cares about cancelled flights when there is a free armor plated 747 at your beck and call?

    • Bob Boberson

      My brother was supposed to fly in this week and now I’m sitting home alone bored. Last year ‘’twas the RONA and this year global warming climate change what done it.

  8. Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

    Jill.edd

    LOL.

  9. Fourscore

    I thought I saw “Education Doctor Biden”, am I hallucinating again?

    • Fourscore

      No, just lost the ability to read, I’m back now.

      • SugarFree

        Acid flashbacks will continue until morale improves.

  10. juris imprudent

    Zwak in the dedthred ponders: but you insist on poo-pooing any conversation about the results of a clearly illegal election

    That is easy to answer. Had Trump won, none of the protaganists here would be arguing the election. They would all be praising/defending the EC against the onslaught of bitter complaining that “he lost the popular vote, again”. I don’t care that Trump lost. I won’t care when Biden loses. National daddyism is the fucking disease. Now, a groundswell against the complacent bastards (and bitches) in Congress – that would set my heart aflutter. But I ain’t holding my breath. They are all there because the people in all of those districts/states are fairly happy with them. I am an outcast, and only in this little corner of the world welcome as such. Except when it comes to Trump.

    BTW, the PA litigation was initiated by Trump’s campaign, then countered by the Dems and THAT is how it ended up in the state SC (which rendered the indefensible decision).

    • Aloysious

      “Now, a groundswell against the complacent bastards (and bitches) in Congress…”

      That right there.

      In my mind, the last election should have been a throw the bastards out kind of election, where a majority of incumbents get sent out to pasture. But that didn’t happen. The electorate, seems to me, voted for the status quo in the form of proxy wars and inflation. It’s like they collectively said, “Let’s relive the Sixties and Seventies.” And our prize is a 1.7 trillion dollar free money boondoggle.

      • juris imprudent

        A Republican should’ve been able to beat the Lump in PA, particularly given the Lump didn’t even run as well as Shapiro (who wasn’t exactly a great candidate himself). So why do we have a Democratic governor and senator – because the Republicans aren’t just stupid, they are stupid squared. And that goes right down to the grass-roots that in the primaries selected Mastriano and Oz (from admittedly, a field of otherwise worthless people) and up through the party hierarchy that couldn’t manage their own primary any better.

    • WTF

      Had Trump won, none of the protaganists here would be arguing the election.

      Well, I think that would depend on whether there was evidence of widespread and obvious shenanigans on behalf of Trump that contributed to that “victory”. You seem to assume that anyone questioning the integrity of the elections is a Trump supporter, but I don’t think that’s actually the case.

      • juris imprudent

        I’d say they all think Trump is preferable to Biden. Not necessarily because they love Trump (and since LC1789 is no longer around), but because he’s just the biggest wrench they could throw into the uni-party machinery. And we see how easily he’s disposed of (without the usual Clinton bloodplay).

    • R C Dean

      Had Trump won, none of the protaganists here would be arguing the election.

      Probably not, because there’s no reason to believe that his team engaged in massive fraud. Now, if he had won, perhaps the Dems would have put forth some evidence of fraud by Trump, but we’ll never know. The 2020 election was the first time in 60 years (since Daley helped JFK) that it looked like shenanigans changed a Presidential election. And if I had to bet, I would bet that Trump would have won an election conducted legally that only counted valid ballots, once each. But its true we will never know.

      I don’t care that Trump lost.

      I think we’d be a little better off today if he’d won. The spending catastrophe would still have happened, the agencies would still be out of control (they started their heavy-handed censoring during his term, after all), but I think our foreign policy would be in better shape. Could he have kept the US dick out of Ukraine? Maybe. Hard to say, given the way the agencies and DOD ignored his orders in the ME when it suited them.

      They are all there because the people in all of those districts/states are fairly happy with them.

      Sadly, this is true. I think the margin of fraud is getting bigger all the time, but I also don’t think most elections are changed by fraud.

    • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

      ” Had Trump won, none of the protaganists here would be arguing the election.”

      And this is proven false by the actions after ’16. Indeed, those actions: Mueller, TDS, etc. give rise to an increase in the falseness of election integrity in general by the populace. It doesn’t matter if this group falls into one camp and not the other, the fact that both camps exist but only one camps fears were investigated adds to the general feeling of the fix being in.

      And this plays into your idea that we all welcome “national daddyism”. After seeing first hand the Tammany Hall corruption, we don’t know!

      • Brochettaward

        If you question it when Democrats win elections, you are caught in a perpetual catch-22 situation. You present evidence of fraud and fuckery, but can’t prove it’s enough to swing an election. You can’t prove that because doing so would require a massive investigation and much of the evidence actually needed to prove it doesn’t exist because elections are so unsecure in the first place.

        Steven Crowder found a number of instances with a small research team of people fabricating addresses to register to vote. Places where the addresses didn’t even exist. He was banned from Youtube for it and the videos were suppressed.

        Democrats, as mentioned, got the Mueller report based off nothing more than propaganda started by the Hillary campaign. Christ, the most notable instance of election interference the Russians engaged in was the bullshit lies they gave her to produce the Steele dossier. Something which was noticeably anti-Trump. But Mueller was all in on Russian troll-farms and memes that were shared like ten times.

      • juris imprudent

        The Democrats started the invalid election bullshit in 2000. Bush was selected, not elected, by the SC remember?

        When Trump hinted that if he lost in ’16 (and he did) it would be because of rigging the election, Obama (and thus the rest of the Democrats, in Stalinesque manner) laughed him off. The marvel of course is how quickly the Democrats turned.

        Stacey Abrams made the Kari Lake complaint in ’18, and she got her rematch in ’22 and got thoroughly trounced. I’m pretty sick of their bullshit but we may have heard the last from Abrams, so good. I will miss her no more than I will miss Lake.

        So for all that, Republican complaints in ’20 were hardly unprecedented. As RC alludes – the ’60 election was as tainted at least in Illinois. But no one lost their mind because we just didn’t do that kind of thing.

      • Brochettaward

        None of this has to do with the merit of the complaints and only shows what bullshit it is when Democrats cry about the integrity and sanctity of elections in the first place.

        But my bullshit meter goes off when they are ready to push hard and furious with narratives like most secure election in history before a single vote wasn’t even cast. Or when down hundreds of thousands of votes in some key swing states and their little troopers waiting for their marching orders to take to the streets, they instead told them to stand down because they were just so sure they had the votes needed to win (while everyone else was reporting 90+% of votes had been counted).

      • juris imprudent

        I have no reason to believe any thing that any Democrat has to say on any subject. The Republicans aren’t far behind that.

      • CPRM

        we may have heard the last from Abrams, so good

        You chose the wrong night for that prediction. Just wait until 7pm Central….

  11. Aloysious

    “They vote for who we tell them too, or we harvest them for ballots,”

    A little truth mixed in with the farce.

    Also, like the links. A little icing on the cake.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Rebel knows what’s up.

    • DEG

      I guess I should have read the comments before commenting.

  12. R C Dean

    We start working on getting Kamala to pull out

    I wouldn’t have, err, pegged her for that particular, umm, service.

    In all seriousness, what can they possibly offer her that would get her to agree to give up being VP?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Booooo…..

      They’ll make her Ambassador to the WEF

      • WTF

        “Money. It’s important. Money makes the world go around. Money, money money. Thank you.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        You forgot Venn diagrams explains where the three monies intersect

    • juris imprudent

      A Supreme Court seat.

      • kinnath

        That was my thought as well

      • Ownbestenemy

        But she would always be known as the 2nd black woman to get a seat on thr bench.

      • juris imprudent

        She’d become Indian real quick.

      • kinnath

        Correct

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        What is the over/under on a red dot suddenly appearing on her forehead?

      • SugarFree

        Bingo

      • Hyperion

        “A Supreme Court seat.”

        OFFS!

      • R C Dean

        I have a hard time believing even our debased Senate would confirm her for SCOTUS. Although the hearings would be . . . . something.

      • juris imprudent

        I can imagine McConnell being rolled by both his own political calculations (and closed-door promises). But right now it could happen without a tie-breaking vote being needed.

    • Aloysious

      Her own Clintonesque Foundation with Sam Bankman-Fried sex orgies?

  13. Ownbestenemy

    Maybe the SouthWest CEO will make an “I’m sorry” video appeal like the BP CEO and then get mocked by South Park

    • Hyperion

      Signaling is easy and free, so expect them to continue doing it. Inviting unfortunate people into their home? Not so easy, forget it.

    • R C Dean

      Being a heartless POS isn’t going to make you the next Republican President.

      But its a good start?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Those videos showed that the people got back on the buses. Or were those different buses than the ones that brought them to DC?

  14. Hyperion

    Does anyone seriously think it matters who the dems run in 2024? It does not matter one bit. It could be anyone. The could pull 2 homeless people off the street a day before the early voting starts. They’re going to count the ballots until they win and that will be that. By then there will not even be any talk about the results, everyone will just accept it and go on about their daily business. By 2028, I doubt that there will even be more than a fraction who even bothers voting. Shortly after that, they won’t even bother holding elections any longer, they’ll just announce who our new leaders are and people will just go on about their daily business and do as they are told. After that, there won’t even be any announcement about who is running things. It will just be know that ‘they’ are running things and we just keep quiet and do not ask questions, lest we be noticed. We go about our daily business, get our daily rations, and go back to our cubes for the daily sleep.

    • R C Dean

      Oh, I think we’ll keep having elections. There’s just too much money in them for People Who Matter.

      Its pretty clear by now that elected officials are mostly decorative anyway.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Does anyone seriously think it matters who the dems run in 2024? It does not matter one bit. It could be anyone. The could pull 2 homeless people off the street a day before the early voting starts. They’re going to count the ballots until they win and that will be that.

      I suspect there is a lot of behind the scenes discussion with the Dems and eGOP (who effectively run the GOP). The eGOP agrees to look the other way if the Dems rig the elections to get rid of GOP candidates that aren’t eGOP. But the Dems won’t push it as far against an eGOP candidate or the eGOP will rig right back. The point is to keep the uniparty in control. Dems and eGOP will fight against each other but only so far as long as they keep out any challengers.

      So I don’t think the Dems will always win. The eGOP will win some too. I doubt we’d see anywhere close to same level of rigging in 2020 by the Dems if Romney was the GOP nominee. In 2022, the elections with the highest likelihood of fraud were against non-eGOP candidates. It’s why I can’t bring myself to care who the GOP nominee is in 2024. They could only win if part of the eGOP and then there’s no effectively no change. Maybe the tiniest scraps of bones thrown to the GOP base… see Youngkin, the VA governor, for a textbook example of the new eGOP template.

  15. DEG

    “Hello, Eirc, so good to see you again,” she said warmly, her lips slithering across his face in a polite kiss.

    “Polite”. I already think there is something more going on here. And with the typo in Eric’s name, I actually thought his name was “Elric.”

    “I have always wanted to be the first Black President,” Eric mused aloud.

    I thought that was Bill Clinton?

    “Good. We start working on getting Kamala to pull out,” Jill.edd said, laughing.

    I thought it was other people pulling out of Kamala?

    “Joe!” Dr. Wife screamed. “Don’t put that in your mouth. Spit it out. SPIT. IT. OUT!”

    Nice ending!

    • R C Dean

      “Don’t put that in your mouth. Spit it out. SPIT. IT. OUT!”

      In a story where Kamala is mentioned several times, I would not have expected this to be directed toward anyone else.

    • Ownbestenemy

      JP is SF is CPRM?

  16. Tundra

    “Joe!” Dr. Wife screamed. “Don’t put that in your mouth. Spit it out. SPIT. IT. OUT!”

    I just saw this play out in real life. Although it was a toddler and not the president.

    Thanks, SF!

  17. MikeS

    Mainstream media gaslighting in action:

    Twitter Files Come Back to Bite Donald Trump

    The word “Biden” isn’t until the 4th paragraph from the end, and then it focuses mostly on journalist Alex Berenson. In two paragraphs they manage to squeeze in “the White House had allegedly met with Twitter employees” and “alleged pressure from the government”

    • Brochettaward

      Taibbi spoke of the Trump administration making requests of Twitter from the get-go, though it was no where near as numerous and constant as the streams of communication with Dems.

      • MikeS

        That’s my point. The Newsweek article (and headline) are like the mirror image of what the Twitter files actually show.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The media outlets know this..that is why rather than frame it as US Government in bed with Big Tech they will just run headlines like MikeS posted and then bury somewhere below the fold “oh ya and Biden too”

    • rhywun

      I’m surprised they didn’t find room in there for grab her by the pussy.

    • juris imprudent

      Like these assholes think the President is directing the govt. We know Trump didn’t. We can’t believe Biden is.

      But by god, that national daddy narrative must be maintained!

      • Brochettaward

        When Biden ordered their asses out of Afghanistan, they sure as hell listened.

        Trump couldn’t even get them to quit Syria.

      • juris imprudent

        As I recall, the Afghanistan withdrawal had to be completed by a deadline set in negotiations between Karzai, the Taliban and the Trump admin.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It has been speculated that the extra delay was part of the Taliban’s motivation to make it a total embarrassment for the US.

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t even know what you are actually trying to argue here. Is it that Trump was as much in control as Biden because he negotiated a treaty which may or may not have been acted upon if he won a second term? It is well known that the pentagon and state didn’t want out of Afghanistan and that they hardly felt compelled to honor any agreement with the Taliban signed by Trump.

        This is like when people argued that Obama wasn’t responsible for anything that happened in Iraq because his hands were tied. The Iraqis just didn’t want us there anymore and, gosh, we certainly couldn’t have negotiated anything…

      • juris imprudent

        Hardly a matter of Biden ordered their asses out of Afghanistan, they sure as hell listened is it? I know, if we don’t bag on Joe we’re not doing our patriotic duty of two-minutes hate.

      • Drake

        Perhaps they purposely made a mess of the withdrawal because they disagreed.

      • Brochettaward

        Even if they did, they still did it. They didn’t clandestinely leave thousands of troops behind.

        I think they would have fought Trump tooth and nail on any pull-out of Afghanistan. They impeached him because he dared to threaten to cut off the gravy train to Ukraine.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Deviously fun

    • hayeksplosives

      That is inexplicably entertaining. I of course blew up DC shortly before obliterating Las Vegas.

    • juris imprudent

      I landed mine just off the coast – 1 mile tall tsunami.

    • Rebel Scum

      It is certainly impactful.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Just had to drop a 2k ft diameter golf asteroid on Washington.

      An estimated 536,388 people would be vaporized in the crater

      The crater is 2,243 ft deep

      Your asteroid impacted the ground at 49,695 mph

      The impact is equivalent to 139 Gigatons of TNT

      More energy was released than the last eruption of Yellowstone

      An impact this size happens on average every 1.1 million years

      And now I’m on another list.

    • Drake

      I got carried away with a 1 mile astroid that happened to land in DC. Blew away the whole East Coast.

    • Grosspatzer

      Hmm. Hackensack is a bit too close. Curse you, Luthor!

      • Timeloose

        Ottisville.

    • MikeS

      I took out Berkley…and the rest of the Bay Area…and then some.

      • Hyperion

        I told the Raiders that Vegas was the right move. Didn’t make them win, but didn’t die in MikeS nuke attack.

    • Rebel Scum

      If you like that this will make you ballistic.

      • Hyperion

        I took out Philly with 10 megaton, but spared Camden. World not as happy with me as possible.

      • Hyperion

        This game is better than Civ 6, but I haven’t nuked that many civs yet. I have to play someone besides Teddy, just so I can nuke DC and Philly.

    • Hyperion

      I just took out Newark, the world can thank me later.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hey, Newark had some of my favorite Portuguese restaurants!

      • Hyperion

        Best to just enjoy those in Portugal. I guess I am going later next year.

  18. Brochettaward

    “I look back on some films that I’ve made, and I don’t know if I would want to make that film now. I don’t know if I would want to fetishize the gun, like I did on a couple of Terminator movies 30-plus years ago, in our current world. What’s happening with guns in our society turns my stomach,” the filmmaker added. “I’m happy to be living in New Zealand where they just banned all assault rifles two weeks after that horrific mosque shooting a couple of years ago.”

    James Cameron doesn’t want to fetishize the gun. I doubt he’ll be donating all the money he made off doing just that to charity, though. The world is far better off if he uses it to pump out more Avatar films that no one wants.

    • EvilSheldon

      He doesn’t want to fetishize the gun, so he spends the entire interview fetishizing the gun.

      • juris imprudent

        And exactly how many guns are there in the new Avatar – granted, they’re all used by the bad guys.

      • Not Adahn

        If fetishes could be cured, there’d be no market for Men’s size 13 stiletto heels.

      • UnCivilServant

        You speak as if anyone’s trying to cure them.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’m sure you can cure them with enough Xanax and Sertraline. So what if you’re permanently impotent – at least you don’t have any more of those nasty fetishes…

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Peggy Hill frowns.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Rob Halford never wanted to fetishize black leather…

      • EvilSheldon

        As I’ve said many times before – Rob Halford stands alone, as history’s greatest twink wrangler.

    • SugarFree

      You die young or live long enough to see yourself turn into a huge, gaping neovagina.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Cameron is so incredibly overrated. It’s been almost thirty years since he’s put out anything that was remotely entertaining.

      And he’s a hippy. I hate hippies.

    • rhywun

      Nobody show him The A-Team

      • Sean

        LOL. I’ve been watching some lately. It fills my 6-7 time spot.

        I’m not sure how much more I can take.

      • rhywun

        Same.

        I never watched it as a kid. Sometimes I just SMDH at the audacity they had to write the exact same episode over and over again. Just switching the merchandise the truckers are moving each time.

      • Rat on a train

        But nobody dies from all the shooting.

      • rhywun

        Cameron probably stole that idea for T2.

      • SugarFree

        If think at some point they establish that they only use blanks.

    • Rat on a train

      How very Soviet of them.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That reminds me. I need to buy more ammo.

    • Rebel Scum

      This bill “redefines” what informed consent is and provides power to the government to force medicate citizens for any illness while allowing the censorship of anyone that dissents, and, get this — to seize their property and imprison them.

      I thought the recent trend was suggesting Canadians kill themselves.

      But wait, that’s not the most insane part. The state has said that some of the details of this bill will “remain undisclosed until the bill has passed.”

      Ah, the “pass it to find out what’s in it” method.

      I wonder if they know they are the baddies.

      • Sean

        Oh, they know.

      • juris imprudent

        I thought the recent trend was suggesting Canadians kill themselves.

        Apparently that isn’t killing enough of them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        If only Trudy would lead the way.

    • Hyperion

      There’s a Great Reset at stake here, you know? And Zoolander is one of Klaus’s favorite useful idiot pets.

      This will however make the Biden admin drool and they will follow suit asap. Anyone in the already cucked medical community speaks out of line, they’ll have a fishing accident like the doctor in MI just had.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Thought you might appreciate this.

      https://www.atlanticcouncil.org/commentary/transcript/transcript-kissinger-s-remarks-at-2009-makins-lecture/

      Americans cannot transform the worlds’ governments into democratic political systems in the timeframe of any one administration. Should other countries know that we prefer a democracy? Of course. We can and should translate that preference in clear terms. But the transformation of a major country like Russia or China through pressure and confrontation is not achievable in a timeframe that is related to single presidencies. The institutions of Russia have evolved over hundreds of years. Should we encourage their further evolution? Yes, when we can. But immediate diplomacy and war must deal with the issues that affect the short- and medium-term prospects of peace like proliferation, environment and the operation of a peaceful order.

      Is it possible for Russia to adapt itself to an environment it does not dominate? That is impossible to predict. It is, however, possible to say we should not operate on a self-fulfilling prophecy. If one looks at the strategic situation from Moscow, one finds that its Chinese border is a demographic nightmare; in the six provinces along the Chinese border, there are 6 million Russians and 120 million Chinese. The frontier with Islam is an ideological nightmare. Russia’s Western border is a historic challenge because it represents independent states which have been part of Russia before. This geopolitical situation makes it improbable that Russia can seriously attempt to return to global Stalinism. Relationships along the western border of Russia are indeed problematic. The desirable outcome is a relationship with its neighbors in which Russia feels neither threatened nor aspires to domination. And the fact that Russia and the United States between them possess 95 percent of the world’s nuclear weapons calls for a serious dialogue. That needs to be the essence of the dialogue, and that requires a reconsideration of some recent attitudes, especially with respect to membership in NATO of Ukraine and Georgia.

      Even Henry Kissinger saw it coming.

      • Hyperion

        C’mon, man! The only conversation we need to have now is does Zelensky get the whole pork barrel now, or do Americans we get to keep a little of it until next time. Did we get that debt ceiling raised yet? Democracy is at risk here!

      • juris imprudent

        He’s old, white and evil, don’t you know?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Very true, yet somehow less evil than our current overlords.

      • hayeksplosives

        He’s always been pragmatic.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The realist school of foreign policy that got us through the Cold War appears to be dead.

      • Brochettaward

        The modern class of idiots would have led us headlong into a hot war with Russia nominally to instill democracy there, but in reality just to launder money to the politically connedted.

      • Hyperion

        Man, Klaus and Soros must have thrown Kissinger a few of those bloody baby parts they are sucking on. Not sure how else all these evul fuckers are still alive.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Klaus is one of Kissinger’s creations, but I think he’s turned into Frankenstein’s monster.

      • Hyperion

        The dude is a real life Nazi, as evil as they come. He grew up admiring the Nazis and every idea he has came straight of the 3rd Reich. That’s how he got the term 4th Industrial Revolution. His father was the main military industrial supplier for the Nazis. And unlike Soros and Kissinger, he does not look like he is in his 80s. He might be the real deal anti-Christ, the evil fuck.

      • Drake

        He still likes to think of himself as a statesman. There aren’t any others now.

      • Hyperion

        Looking at the Biden admin and Blinken, he has a real point.

      • Drake

        Is it possible for the United States to adapt itself to an environment it does not dominate? Our State Dept doesn’t seem to think so.

      • Hyperion

        No, we will always be at war with Eastasia.

    • hayeksplosives

      Sitting here on my vaxxed and boosted ass and having just tested positive for Covid, I’m pretty sure I’m the mentally ill one.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You were duped. There’s no shame in that.

        I wish more people could acknowledge it.

      • hayeksplosives

        I was reluctant at the time but wanted to keep my job.

      • Hyperion

        Same here, but they finally gave it up in favor of yearly flu shots. Weird.

    • rhywun

      I think the author is being charitable in assuming this won’t go nationwide. I mean, it’s Canada.

      • Hyperion

        What if the French speakers blow up people again?

      • Hyperion

        Have you seen that Prime series Utopia? It’s like they pulled that thing straight out of the globalists playbook. They even had to have a disclaimer that it’s not about the pandemic, lol.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ve tried to verify that particular quote, but to no avail. I’m fairly certain it’s a hoax. It doesn’t even read like a Kissinger statement.

        I would believe that Yuval Harari had said it though.

      • Hyperion

        I’d believe that Bildo said it, off record of course. But probably not Kissinger.

      • wdalasio

        Yeah, this bit from Reuters says it’s a hoax. And I’m willing to buy that one. It doesn’t even particularly sound like Kissinger. Kissinger is ultimately a very (and I’m not just talking politics here) conservative guy. “The Great Scheme” just doesn’t seem to be his style. Too many risks. From the general public and from the other players in the scheme.

  19. Gender Traitor

    Today an alleged repairman came to our office to do some work related to the burst sprinkler head in our Board meeting room. I don’t know what he was trying to do, but whatever he did caused another sprinkler head to burst – the same one that blew a few years ago in the hall outside my office – and start spraying water. I now have a wet spot on the carpet along that wall in my office. ::bangs head on desk::

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      All those euphemisms in one short paragraph.

    • hayeksplosives

      Job security?

      Good help really is getting harder to find.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Were you counting votes?

  20. R.J.

    Can anyone explain to me how it is only 2:30 CST? Feels like I have been working for days.

    • Hyperion

      Because it’s now after 3:30pm in the one real time zone.

      • Rat on a train

        It’s 2052 according to the official clock.

      • Hyperion

        Fuck, I’m 92 years old, I look amaze ballz for 92! I feel better!

      • R.J.

        Once it gets to 3:30 in my time zone, I an calling it a day. Busy work day, in between work I had to clean my office post-Christmas. It was a horrible mess.

    • MikeS

      Agreed. And today is my first day back after Christmas. Ugh. When will this week end?!

      • Hyperion

        Nooo!!! I don’t go back until Jan 3! Woohoo!

  21. Hyperion

    I’m trying to make a gallon of fresh salsa, but I’m just lazy as fuck. It’s getting to be a habit. I need to figure out a way to get motivation back. Alcohol used to do it when I really needed it, sigh…

    • Sean

      I’m calling it now…that salsa is not hot enough.

      Fantastic pre-made.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, I’m using fresh Serranos. I am so not getting near any suicide peppers like Carolina Reapers. I ain’t even going Habenero.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, that ain’t even salsa. That is Pico De Gallo. You have to food process salsa or chop it a lot more fine than that, the flavor won’t blend properly.

      • Sean

        I usually prefer the pico style. /shrug

      • Hyperion

        Of course, we all got our own style.

    • Hyperion

      lol