Steel Panther, Live in Concert

by | Dec 20, 2022 | Fun, Music | 177 comments

 

Recently, I got to see Steel Panther live. Jeebus H. Koresh that was a good time and just what the doctor ordered. There is a kind of magic being with a couple of hundred people who get the joke and enthusiastically do the call and response with the band.

 

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

 

For those of you unfamiliar with Steel Panther, imagine Spinal Tap was a real American band who has been bringing back heavy metal for the past 30 years, with real albums, smiles on their faces, often profane, shameless, guiltless, plenty of banter with the crowd, plenty of banter between band members, deliberately celebrating many of the worst (best?) aspects of hair metal and always in it for the musicianship and the joke. The musicianship and tattoos are real. The hair and clothing are part of the joke.

 

 

Early in the night, the band played Asian Hooker.

In this clip you see Michael Starr spot someone in the audience a few seconds in. He starts gesturing to Satchel who in turn gestures to that someone in the crowd. At the end of the clip you can hear the crowd cheering.

 

 

This well dressed, young Asian woman came up and danced with Michael for the rest of the song. [Two photos of young Asian woman] You can find at least a few live show videos on YouTube where the same thing happened. This is what I mean when I say the fans are in on the joke.

 

 

Later in the show, Michael and Satchel were bantering with the audience and each other leading up to their classic ballad, Weenie Ride. (It may be Tonio’s favorite but don’t tell him I told you.)

 

As the young woman who would be serenaded was making her way up to the stage, she was asked about her boyfriend. It turns out it was her brother. The band noticed an older man with her. That was her father. He was complemented on his excellent sperm.

 

 

The young woman on stage loved meeting the band members (not a euphemism) I’ll let you decide for yourself if Weenie Ride is horribly misogynistic or incredibly funny.

 

I regret not shooting any video of 17 Girls In A Row. 5 women got up on stage (the venue limited the number) while the guys rocked out. There was something surreal about seeing them dancing while singing the lyrics. It’s not every day you see a bunch of young women gyrating while singing:

I banged seventeen girls in the grocery store and never lost my erection, no.

They had to mop all the sperm in aisle three and some poop in the produce sex-sex-sex-tion, stinky.

 

 

I should have shot more of this. If you want to know how loud a couple hundred people can shout “fuck, fuck” as part of the chorus, go hear this live.

 

 

I love this song because it’s over the top macho and ridiculous all at once.

 

Editor’s Note: I sat on this article (phrasing!) for far too long after Chafed submitted it, and owe him a big apology, as well as thanks for his patience and understanding. A combination of editorial sloth and ineptitude, and a mad scramble to figure out who had upload access to the Glibs YouTube channel. -Tonio

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

177 Comments

  1. R.J.

    Fantastic. I love Steel Panther!

    • R.J.

      Where is everyone?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        All the cool people are right here.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m using my third eye to fight a battle that will decide the fate of the universe.

        Thanks for asking.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Watching Don’t Open Til Christmas. Excellent schlocky.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, you know. Doing my medical editing side hustle.

    • Chafed

      I knew I liked you. Now I have one more reason to like you.

      Anyone not hear is missing the best article this week. 🤘

  2. rhywun

    Nice look into a world I know nothing about.

    • Chafed

      Let’s make a deal. I’ll come to NYC and you take me to whatever bar or club plays the techno you love. You come west and I’ll take you to see Steel Panther.

      • MikeS

        I’d actually like to get in on that. The three of us could conquer the world!

      • Chafed

        I’m down.

      • rhywun

        I haven’t been to a club or a show in ten or twelve years… not really something I enjoy anymore.

      • Chafed

        Then MikeS and I will come to your place and watch club videos.

  3. DEG

    As the young woman who would be serenaded was making her way up to the stage, she was asked about her boyfriend. It turns out it was her brother. The band noticed an older man with her. That was her father. He was complemented on his excellent sperm.

    A family affair?

    • Chafed

      Steel Panther thought so.

  4. Stinky Wizzleteats

    The best hair metal bands, if there really were any best hair metal bands, were too stupid to be ironic and were in danger of ODing or killing several people in a drunk driving incident at the drop of a hat. This is but a pale imitation.

    • Mojeaux

      killing several people in a drunk driving incident

      Vince Neil says hi.

    • Chafed

      You’re the first person I’ve encountered who put his nose in the air over a comedy hair metal band. Loosen up and enjoy the show.

      • MikeS

        I’m going to give that comment the benefit of the doubt and assume it was an attempt at humor.

      • Chafed

        Maybe I missed it.

      • MikeS

        I’m guessing he’s a closet fan of all but metal.

  5. westernsloper

    Thanks Chafed. I didn’t get them at first but am a big fan now.

    • Tonio

      As well you should be.

    • Chafed

      Sloper gets it! Maybe you can help Stinky get it. (Look upthread)

      • Ownbestenemy

        +1 The Darkness

      • Chafed

        I know the bands have a mutual admiration society but I just can’t get into The Darkness.

  6. westernsloper

    Right now this Is a song I am relating to. I never did well this time of year.

    • hayeksplosives

      I like that one too.

      Melancholy cheers to you, western.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I never did well this time of year.

      Me neither. Happy Humbug.

  7. Mojeaux

    @Tundra, from dedthred. You mentioned Vince Flynn, and being lucky versus being great. I haven’t read him, but it reminded me that yesterday I saw some really really super-awful advice Chuck Palahniuk handed out in probably the most incomprehensible fashion I’ve ever seen. Maybe not that bad. But still. Following advice like that got me the comment: “I am enjoying your creative use of verbs.” I thought I’d melt into the concrete I was so embarrassed.

    @Chafed, I will check these people out. I do love me some hair metal.

    • Lackadaisical

      That was a hell of a run on sentence.

      • Mojeaux

        I get what he was trying to do (make it somewhat frantic), but he didn’t punctuate it right so it just looks like a puddle of commas.

      • UnCivilServant

        After assembling this book, I found some leftover commas. Sprinkle them wherever you think they are needed. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

        – Some Author (I forgot who)

      • R.J.

        They grow like tribbles and have to be fumigates page by page.

        Some random dude, who writes, poorly.

    • slumbrew

      I had forgotten Tundra knew Flynn. I loved his books. I tried with the guy who took over after Vince passed but, ooof. That guy couldn’t have gotten Mitch Rapp more wrong.

      • Tundra

        Totally agree.

        Mo and the other writers were discussing how much writing it takes to get to know your characters. I read one of the post Vince books and said nah.

        I still enjoy the old ones, though!

      • Mojeaux

        how much writing it takes to get to know your characters.

        To give you an idea.

        A Zane Grey book is about 50,000 words, give or take 5,000 words or so.

        My books are an average of 190,000 words. Cods & Cuntes is 230,000 words.

        The SNIPPETS file for Cods & Cuntes is 130,000 words. That’s how much EXTRA writing I did to figure out my characters.

      • MikeS

        As a Louis L’Amour fan, I’ll stick up for Mr. Grey (and Louis) and say, just because he didn’t have a high word count in his books doesn’t mean he didn’t intimately understand their personalities or convey their personalities to his readership.

      • Mojeaux

        I never said otherwise. I was giving a baseline comparison of word count using a (hopefully) commonly understood measurement (Zane Grey novel).

        I don’t know anything about the character sketches for Zane Grey, but I bet there were reams.

        The point of the discussion the other day is that we don’t put in but a fraction of what we know about the characters and the research we did for the worldbuilding.

      • MikeS

        I saw the conversation the other day. And maybe this book writing stuff goes over my head. But it sure seemed like you were equating “proper” character development to word count and insinuating you did it more/better than Zane Gray.

      • Mojeaux

        I was absolutely not doing that, and I’m a little pissy that you think so.

      • MikeS

        I will re-read it after a good sleep and likely owe you an apology.

    • Chafed

      I’m glad you will Mojo. They are a ton of fun.

    • Tundra

      Cormac McCarthy just bitch slapped Chuck.

      Just write good stories. Doesn’t hurt to be a good promoter and improve your chances to catch a break.

  8. hayeksplosives

    Fun content!

    Hey, is there an ongoing Zoom for the holidays? I could use a little therapy.

    • R.J.

      I bet there will be very soon. Hang in there!

      • hayeksplosives

        Trying!!

        Sometimes I empathize with the suffering of others that it takes a toll on ME. Here I sit with stupid warm teardrops falling over my face.

        I have my own issues but refuse to address them! I think I just realized the reason that I empathize and help others is to distract myself from my own issues. Hell, my main function as a personnel manager at my previous job was to be a psychologist and therapist.

      • R.J.

        At the least, there is the Wednesday Zoom. I will try to be there, I could use some holiday cheer myself.

      • Mojeaux

        But sometimes you can ask for new cards.

      • Fourscore

        And sometimes we have to fold, bluffing may work some of the time

    • Tonio

      Don’t worry, Hayek, we’ll figure something out for all the freaks, geeks, leeks, and pathiques.

      • hayeksplosives

        thanks. I can’t believe how much my face is leaking tears right now. It’s like all of them I suppressed for decades have decided that now’s the time.

      • Fourscore

        I get misty when I see the Shriner kids, the Vets that have been seriously injured. It’s OK to cry. As one ages it seems to take less to become emotional.

        Watching the present unfold there is so much to be angry about because so much of the harm appears to be intentional.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You left out gypsies, tramps, and thieves.

      • UnCivilServant

        Go do that voodoo that you do so well

      • The Hyperbole

        The sportos, the motorheads, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and dickheads

      • Ownbestenemy

        If you need an open zoom let me know Tonio.

      • Tonio

        It’s not me what needs it open yet, lad.

    • Chafed

      I hope you enjoy it HS.

  9. Lackadaisical

    “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”

    Seems to be working.

    • Chafed

      Definitely

  10. DrOtto

    Steel Panther was the unofficial soundtrack for a bunch of buddies and me who went tubing together for many years. The radio we set up for the float was referred to as “The Panther Player”. I miss those days.

    • Chafed

      Excellent choice. I wish I had discovered them earlier.

    • westernsloper

      It is kind of mind boggling. I don’t watch or listen to mainstream news but is anyone even hinting that we have had any sort of major 1st amendment violations by the government in this bullshit? Because holy shit!!! It is just us weirdos who are pissed about this stuff and that is kind of terrifying.

      • R.J.

        Yep. It’s because all the major news networks are also paid off by the FBI.

        Tinfoil Hat Thursday Nights* starts after Christmas. Come for the conspiracy theory movies, stay for the comments!

        *Unpaid advertisement

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s undoubtably so. It’d certainly be nice to have all of their communications laid bare just like Twitter’s but Elon only has so much money and they’d kill him first anyway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        In a normal world reporters would be climbing on top of each other to break and wrote about this. Instead, they or their media companies are on the same dole as Twitter (all of the socials).

        This is quite literally “there is no cannibalism in the royal navy” in action.

      • Chafed

        I don’t know if the networks are getting paid, though I’m not ruling anything out. I think the network reporters are ideologically simpatico with the censors. The don’t want to look for anything that will hurt their cause.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Noticed that Carpe Donktum is still banned.

  11. hayeksplosives

    It’s so dark out now that it feels like it must be midnight. But it isn’t even 7 o’clock!!

    Gonna take some diphenhydramine and hope for the best.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Biggest complaint from the wife! ‘It feels like 9pm but it’s 545pm!’

      I worked with her all day since our prospective buyer for the business called in ‘sick’ and middle teen was job hunting. All her dogs are so damn cute!

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        I hear that from the wife for about six months every year. Living up by the 45th parallel is a wee bit different than CA.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And when it’s rainy and dreary all day to boot.

      • MikeS

        Try the 49th

      • MikeS

        The British Ministry of Information approached Michael Powell to make a propaganda film for them, suggesting he make “a film about mine-sweeping”. Instead, Powell decided to make a film to help sway opinion in the then-neutral United States. Said Powell, “I hoped it might scare the pants off the Americans” and thus bring them into the war.[5] Screenwriter Emeric Pressburger remarked, “Goebbels considered himself an expert on propaganda, but I thought I’d show him a thing or two”.

        Takes some of the fun out of it.

    • Fourscore

      Tomorrow is the shortest daylight and the days begin earlier and earlier and stay longer and longer. I’m always happy to see that. It’s a rebirth of Gaia.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, sunset at 4:30 is depressing but less so with WFH. I hated commuting home in the dark.

      • MikeS

        +1 WFH

    • MikeS

      You lived in Minnesota not that long ago. Focus on the positive.

  12. Gustave Lytton

    imagine Spinal Tap was a real American band

    They aren’t?!?

    • Chafed

      They are like Schrodinger’s band. They are here but they’re not.

    • Not Adahn

      I thought they were British.

  13. Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

    So I finally ran out of excuses (wifes surgery, my surgery, cleaning lady day, what have you) and took out the upstairs toilet and the remaining bit of flooring that needed to get gone. Tomorrow, I lay the underlayment and fit the final subflooring, and then it is tiles. I should be done by Thursday. It was funny, my friend Doug is always trying to get me to let him help but sometimes, you just need to show yourself that you still can.

    • R.J.

      Well done sir!

  14. Brochettaward

    For those inquiring, the battle still rages. I will keep you all posted.

    • Chafed

      Just show us your tits and get it over with.

    • MikeS

      How about for us real Firsters who aren’t inquiring?

      • Brochettaward

        Nothing is proves my status among Firsters more than the fact that your seconding kind could only attempt to confront me with another version of myself. Albeit a horribly deformed nightmare version whose seconding powers exist parasitically in relation to my Firsting powers.

        The cuck cock of the seconders will be cut from anti-Bro’s body and cast back from whence it came! And then I will take your cock and ram it down your stomach!

      • MikeS

        Gay.

      • Brochettaward

        I will have infinite versions of myself gain entry to Firsthalla.

      • MikeS

        Firsthalla sounds like they need better border control.

  15. Chafed

    Tonio, I can’t be mad at a guy who likes Weenie Ride even more than I do.

    • Mojeaux

      That made me howl.

      Um. I mean. Not like THAT. You know. I mean, I LOLd.

      • Chafed

        Now you’re getting it. Rock on Mojo!

  16. Tundra

    Late to the party, but this is great! They feature prominently in Glibfit, but I had no idea of their, ahem, depth.

    Thanks, Chafed! A really fun one! I think I’ll go serenade Mrs.T!

      • Tundra

        Lol!

        Perfect!

      • Chafed

        Works every time!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

  17. MikeS

    It’s not every day you see a bunch of young women gyrating while singing:

    I banged seventeen girls in the grocery store and never lost my erection, no.

    They had to mop all the sperm in aisle three and some poop in the produce sex-sex-sex-tion, stinky.

    But if one of them had been called up on stage at a ___(black rapper)___concert and dared rap along with the entire building and dared to say nigga along with everyone else, well boy howdy…they’d be prime for canceling, if not justified violence.

    • Chafed

      One more reason to see Steel Panther live. No one, and I mean no one, gives a fuck. It’s liberating.

      Now stop being so serious and show me some devil horns.

      • Mojeaux

        🤘

      • Chafed

        😍 🤘🤘

      • MikeS

        🤘🏻😈🤘🏻

        🍆💦

        👉🏻👌🏻

      • Chafed

        I salute you. That is the Steel Panther spirit.

      • MikeS

        😘😻💝💋💓💗💖💘😍♥❤💞💟

      • MikeS

        🤘🏻

      • Chafed

        I left that hanging, hoping someone would pick it up. You do not disappoint Mojo.

    • rhywun

      It’s about goddamn time the United States has its own Equity Incubator. I mean, JFC already.

    • Chafed

      The Great Blacks in Wax Museum sounds like something that happened before the Civil War.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you don’t like it contact your Senators. Let them know the American People are against this, believe it or not your opinion can make a diff…ah, who am I kidding? These human bags of garbage will do what they want including sending over forty billion to The Ukraine at a time many Americans are building up credit card debt in order to buy fucking groceries.

      • Sean

        This is true, but I still send those GOA campaigns.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is the part where Michael Knowles jumps in and says “The reason that the conservatives are losing is because they listen to libertarians too much.”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That does have to be one of the stupidest takes I’ve ever seen a nonstupid person make. People who take this tack to displace blame will point to the GOP’s subservience to the COC and various big business interests being indicative of libertarianism but it’s really cronyism and the smarter ones like Knowles are well aware.

  18. Sean

    Morning everyone. And a good afternoon to y’all in the wrong time zones.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, Stinky, and Scruffy (and whichever other dwarfs happen to be lurking.)

      On the agenda today (or tomorrow – I haven’t decided yet): Run a list of all employee phone numbers from the payroll system and check it against the numbers in our emergency-call-everyone-at-once system in advance of the threatened Snowmageddon.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’ve met me, I am no dwarf.

        And I wasn’t lurking, I was commuting. I’m in the office. The front desk security guards didn’t seem to be expecting anyone to show up today. Thankfully, their expections have nothing to do with me being able to card into the building.

      • Gender Traitor

        Indeed – I’d be terrified to find myself in the universe in which you’d be considered a dwarf.

        Additional note to self: move cheesecakes for tomorrow’s senior manager birthday party from the freezer to the refrigerator. Resist temptation to eat any of it beforehand.

      • UnCivilServant

        None of these little word-picture-thingies is a cheesecake, so… I guess I’m out of luck.

      • Gender Traitor

        An actual picture of the cheesecakes in question, so you understand the very real danger that they won’t last until tomorrow.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why are the slices not sorted? They should be in a gradient, not randomly mixed up!

      • Gender Traitor

        In their defense, the pairs of identical slices ARE at least opposite one another.

        Should I introduce you to the coworker who carefully arranges her M&Ms by color? 😉

      • UnCivilServant

        I had noticed the mirrored slice arrangement.

        As for M&Ms, they really belong in clusters containing one of each color. Sadly, the machines filling the bags don’t give an even amount.

      • UnCivilServant

        Speaking of various desserts and sugary things, I didn’t check, did you get the email I sent late last night?

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, I did and responded a short time ago…which is why I had sweet stuff on the brain.

        This is a very bad time of year for my (modest) weight loss goals.

      • UnCivilServant

        I hear that.

        I’ve still agreed to visit my mother’s for Christmas, so I’m in trouble.

    • Rat on a train

      Have they tried bloodletting?

      • Grosspatzer

        There is a specific type of bloodletting which would be appropriate.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      All that to steal 1200 dollars worth of stuff. Isn’t that like three game consoles and that’s it?

      • Grosspatzer

        Down payment on a high-end graphics card, maybe.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck you Cameron, take your lousy hippie bullshit sci-fi and shove it up your panty-clad ass.

    • Grosspatzer

      If only his dad had taken that advice.

    • Rat on a train

      Some men work the testosterone out of their system by pummeling other men who tell them to work testosterone out of their system.

    • R.J.

      Says the guy who divorced his wife to make movies, because his movie making skills were too important to waste in a relationship.

      • UnCivilServant

        But he hasn’t made anything worth watching since the divorce.

      • R.J.

        Exactly.

  19. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

      • Grosspatzer

        select * from glibs except UCS

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie!

      • Grosspatzer

        Mornin ‘, GT. Enjoy the snow, I am disappointed that we will be getting rain. What good is it to have a nice wood burning fireplace without complementary snow?

      • UnCivilServant

        Maybe you could burn the not so nice wood while you wait, or does that require a different type of fireplace?

      • Rat on a train

        Hopefully he didn’t lose the manufacturers list of compatible wood.

      • Grosspatzer

        “Compatible wood”

        Um… OK.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well if you use wood of the wrong data type or endianness things could go terribly wrong. It might be able to parse wood with a different word length, but that requires checking the documentation.

      • Gender Traitor

        Don’t know how much snow we’ll get – the real threat appears to be the sudden steep temperature drop – from 42 degrees and rain at 9 p.m. Thursday to 2 degrees by 7 a.m. Friday. 🥶

      • rhywun

        We’re getting that a day later, bumped up a few degrees on both ends. But still yikes.

  20. Rat on a train

    Ugh. Feeling sick today. I guess it is better to get sick now than wait until this weekend.

    • Gender Traitor

      Hope it turns out to be quick and mild!

    • Grosspatzer

      Yuck. Sending healing vibes.

  21. UnCivilServant

    Among the many sins of modern wikipedia is that they stopped provising a transliteration of non-latin alphabet verbiage.

    Lotus silk (Burmese: ပိုးကြာချည် or Burmese: ကြာချည်, lit. ’lotus thread’)

    How do I pronounce “ပိုးကြာချည်” or “ကြာချည်”?

    • Grosspatzer

      “Love you long time”?

      • UnCivilServant

        Apparently it’s “krahkyany” or “hkyany”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sorry, no, It’s “pui:krahkyany” or “krahkyany”

      • R.J.

        I have it on good authority that if you say it louder and slower while making air quotes, you will be understood.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have it on better authority that this not only does not work, but it makes you look like a dunce.

    • Rat on a train

      Throatwobbler Mangrove?