Changes

by | Jan 24, 2023 | Choose Your Own Adventure, Cocktails | 256 comments

Changes

I am now officially retired.  A few observations:

I had thought our house was in good shape.  Apparently, I was wrong, as it appears to be close to collapsing into a pile of sawdust, if the chores that are suddenly now in need of doing are any indication.

Of course, now that I am on a fixed income of approximately $0.00 per month, which does tend to focus your mind, we are looking at cutting our costs.  The first two items are cancelling (a) the cleaning ladies and (2) the landscaper’s monthly visit.  After this month, I will be doing the landscape maintenance, and Mrs. Dean and I are splitting the housecleaning.  Because I am a creature of routine, if not ritual, I now do the dusting, vacuuming, and mopping in precisely the same way every week.  The good news is that I need to get a few tools to keep up with the landscaping.

We have also finally buckled under and joined CostCo.  Words cannot express how much I dislike going there, but there is no doubt we are saving some good money.  I’ve also decided that my evening nightcap is really more of a habit than anything else, and cutting it out (on weekdays, at least) will not only save an embarrassingly large chunk of change, but should also lead to me losing that 5 (OK, 5 plus) pounds that I just cannot seem to shake.  Plus, I think being extra disciplined about the boozing isn’t a bad idea now that I can actually drink All. Day. Long.  Which would be bad.

So, basically, my life is now a live-action “So you are turning into your parents” commercial.

The inevitable question has been “So what are you going to do/what are your plans?”  The answer is, no plans, really, and not that much that I am planning to do yet.  I have started studying Spanish via DuoLingo, which seems to be going well.  I am already more comfortable with it than I thought, probably from being kinda around it most of my life, and also from having a surprising amount of my junior high Spanish actually stick.  I’ve bumped up the workout to nearly an hour a day.  And that’s, err, about it.

I do have a combat shotgun class scheduled for next month, so when the Narrative Liberals I work (oops, I mean, worked) with asked this question, I enjoyed telling them “Not much, really.  I will be going back for the advanced combat shotgun class after I retire, but I haven’t really scheduled anything else.”

I need to add some things to the daily routine, beyond hanging out with the dogs, of course.

A round of dry firearm practice every day would be nice.  I’m also planning to try my hand at writing fiction, but I haven’t gotten any traction there yet.  And I’ve got a few feelers out for gig work as a lawyer – what I think would work is doing temp jobs for in-house legal departments.  Incredibly, there are two firms that have this as their business model.  I’ll be joining my HOA board, with the goal of turning the HOA into a self-defense militia, and will also see about pitching in with a group that is trying to build a very nice gun range not too far from my house.

One thing that I did that turned out well was putting in an off-ramp from the job.  I was half-time since August, so I didn’t have to go in one motion from having an all-consuming job that ate every spare minute to parked on the couch surfing NetFlix.  I can highly recommend this (the off-ramp, not the Netflix binging).  It will take some time (likely months) before I’ve really got my mind right, but having a transition period was a good thing.  I spent my last month cleaning up loose ends and getting my successor oriented and squared away.  When I left, I had not one single email in my inbox, which wasn’t something I thought would be remotely possible.  Oddly, even though my last day at the office was nearly a week ago as I write this, I wouldn’t have worked since then anyway, so in some ways my schedule hasn’t even really changed yet.

The one visible change is that we got a new car – a 2022 Toyota Highlander.  They don’t put a V-6 in them after 2022, so we had to scramble to get one of the last ones. We wanted something that was better for long road trips than the FJs (which, despite their many virtues, pretty much suck at that), and I think this will do the job just fine. What a nice car – I think it has a fair amount of Lexus in it, the driver assist crap can all be turned off, and the electronic hoo-haws aren’t too intrusive.  I got a ridiculously good deal ($27K!) trading in my 2014 FJ Cruiser with 114,000 miles on it, so our cash outlay wasn’t even that bad.

What has really changed is what I was hoping for:  the relentless time pressure is fading away.

Anyhoo, Swiss wants content, Swiss gets content.  If there aren’t any hooks for the commentariat in there, well, let’s go to cocktail time!

A classic – the Sazerac.  I’ve gotten to like doing freezer cocktails when they will work (mainly, the alcohol content is high enough), so today’s recipe is for freezer Sazeracs:

6 oz.  Rye (home barrel-aged Bulleit, in my case)

6 oz. Brandy (Courvousier VSOP, which seems to hit the sweet spot of price and good enough to mix with)

1/3 oz. Pernod

18 dashes Peychaud’s

12 dashes Angostura

1 oz Dolcedi sweetener (I like it because it’s a little mellower than sugar and is lower glycemic.  For simple syrup, I would probably go with 1 ½ – 2 oz.)

Pour all ingredients into a mason jar, stir to dissolve the sweetener, put in freezer for at least a few hours.  The classic recipes, of which there are many variations, almost all call for a rinse of absinthe.  I don’t have absinthe, and Pernod’s gets you the same licorice-ish flavor.  I find the rinse also makes it hard to control how much of the flavor comes through, so I just measure a wee dram directly into the cocktail.  Garnish with lemon twist (I’m told – we haven’t had any actual lemons in the house recently so I haven’t garnished).  As always, adjust proportions to taste.

One of the nice things about freezer cocktails is you can serve them straight up, no rocks.  I still like an ice cube in mine, because otherwise I want to drink it faster as it warms up. With a mega-cube in a double-walled glass, I find that my daily cocktail lasts me about an hour and a half, and the freezer cocktails barely put a dent in the cube.

About The Author

R C Dean

R C Dean

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256 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Rock on rc! Whatever you do, dont stop. Keep active, live long Sir!
    🍻

  2. Shirley Knott

    Congratulations on your retirement sir!

  3. rhywun

    I can actually drink All. Day. Long.  Which would be bad.

    I am very happy that day drinking does not agree with me.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Were I so fortunate

      • MikeS

        Same

    • Tundra

      Same.

    • Count Potato

      I drink every night, but rarely ever drink during the day — maybe a couple of beers watching football.

      • rhywun

        Same, except more strict. Nothing before 7pm or so. Otherwise I get a nasty hangover.

      • Sean

        8:30 pm+

      • The Hyperbole

        I have ~4 beers between 2pm and 4pm with the gang at the club then 2 cocktails after dinner between 8pm to 10pm. And my crazy doctor thinks I drink too much.

      • Count Potato

        Sounds like a quack.

      • MikeS

        ~=>

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        Mmmm… Buffy and Miffy want to meet down at the club… Mmmm….

      • MikeS

        +1 “Hey guys, you want some sniffy”

    • Ted S.

      If I drink during the day, it’s one glass of wine with lunch on the weekend. Other than that, all my drinking is dinner or later.

    • DrOtto

      We had a neighbor couple we met that we jibed with once upon a time, but then I realized my drinking was out of hand hanging out with them. I put myself on a fairly strict 2 times a week drinking regimen, Thursdays and Saturdays. That has worked out well for the last 25 years or so. I break it for occasions such as vacation and visiting friends/family.

  4. R C Dean

    I’ll be tied up this evening for awhile (calm down, CA, not that way), but I’ll check in later. Have fun, kids!

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Hanging with Creosote with all new found free time, huh?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        If you’re not careful, he’ll rope you into his hobbies.

  5. Count Potato

    Congrats

    “I’ll be joining my HOA board, with the goal of turning the HOA into a self-defense militia”

    That sounds rather ambitious.

    • Tonio

      The entertainment value alone makes it worthwhile.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        A self-help column should be in the works, no?

      • Chafed

        At least one more article will come from it.

    • Sean

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Rat on a train

      Mandatory monthly drills for all residents.

  6. RAHeinlein

    I hope this is a positive change – put the Le Creuset to good use!

    • Gustave Lytton

      A shout out to Le Creuset. Our longtime Dutch oven had some pitting in the bottom along with general wear. Turned in a warranty claim (it’s lifetime, right?) for the pitting and while it was turned down, they did offer to exchange provided we paid to ship the old one to them. Sold!

    • Tundra

      Worth every dime.

    • juris imprudent

      I don’t use mine often enough, but I love using it when I do.

      My plan is to join the ranks of the leisured in June, only deferring if the market takes another tumble.

      • Chafed

        Joe Biden is in charge. Nothing can go wrong.

  7. Tundra

    Congratulations!

    Keep the cleaning ladies. Even through the deepest depths of struggle, I never regretted a dime I paid them.

    Life is better in a clean space (that you had nothing to do with).

    Also, lift. A lot.

    Good luck!

  8. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Congrats!!

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        OMG I’M DED

      • Tundra

        Whenever I’m feeling shitty, that’s the account I go to.

        And yet, no one I share it with shares my love. Go figure.

      • Chafed

        You’re sharing it with the wrong people.

  9. rhywun

    having a surprising amount of my junior high Spanish actually stick

    Neat.

    I was reflecting last night how well the one semester of French I took in college stuck with me, versus the four semesters of Italian. I am reasonably comfortable speaking what I know in French, whereas Italian just does not roll off the tongue at all.

    And whether it was related to teaching style. The French prof spoke only French, from day one. It was really weird but I have to admit it was pretty damn effective.

    Italian prof (whom I had for 3 out of the 4 semesters) was a crusty old guy who did everything by the (text)book. And I can’t speak a damn word of it.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Congratulations RC! Took a buddy about a year after his papers to get to the point of mentally being retired. Half time seems like an excellent way to start the transition. I’m about 3.5 years myself from my minimal plug pulling date. Way too young to sit on the couch.

  11. Gustave Lytton

    I miss Duolingo but their changes completely soured me.

    • Tundra

      I haven’t done any since Christmas. Gotta get back at it.

    • Sensei

      Hated it when it came out for Nihongo. I’ve read it is much better now!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think you’d still get frustrated how they translate some words or phrases. Another one that bugged me is some words would be the entire word in hiragana/katakana as a single selection while others would be partial or even needing to select every single syllable. No rhyme or reason.

      • Sensei

        Because it’s f…… crowd sourced.

      • Michael Malaise

        Spanish (which I am doing) is probably pretty good given that it’s a relative easy language to learn and it’s very popular in the States.

    • MikeS

      I’ve been using it religiously for a couple weeks. I tried Babbel and liked DuoLingo better.

      • Chafed

        Have you learned how to tell Scholz to send some tanks to Ukraine?

      • MikeS

        Nein. I just hope WWIII doesn’t start until June or later.

    • one true athena

      Yeah, I didn’t like it at first either. I liked being able to do a story just to check off the day, but otoh once they made the change I do think I’m learning more.

      Just celebrated day 200 of French (which I started for our trip last August but I’ve kept going). Now we’re thinking of going to Spain (shout out, Pie for the earlier post!), so I’m pondering shifting to Spanish which I already have a lot of but need review.

  12. rhywun

    I was out of work for a year or so around when the plague hit and what I learned was that retirement will be a cinch. I have no problem filling my time with various hobbies and shit.

    Only issue is will I be able to afford it.

    • R.J.

      Hear hear!
      If we grow our own food, and make our own wine, the Glibertariat can get by!

      • rhywun

        Except… that’s work.

        I don’t want to work.

      • R.J.

        I figure it is all a dream, I will work until I die. Even if I do retire, I will run a store, or grow a garden, etc… I will never just sit there.

      • juris imprudent

        Retirement doesn’t mean you stop doing everything – you stop doing the one thing you’ve done that allowed you to do the other things you wanted to do.

      • Sean

        Where does banging people half your age factor in to that?

      • Lackadaisical

        Depends on your budget.

      • Chafed

        I want to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • pistoffnick

        A country boy can survive!

      • MikeS

        We can skin a buck and run a trotline.

      • R.J.

        This is excellent.

      • The Hyperbole

        Is it okay if a skip the Beech-Nut?

      • MikeS

        Only if you wanna get shot with my old .45

      • CPRM

        I can…uh…regale you with stories around the campfire? As long as you provide me with booze anyhow.

    • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

      I have been getting into antiques to fill my time. Just kinda selling small stuff online, and slowly looking for a mall to set up a booth.

      The secret to retirement is not to quit doing things, but to limit the number of things you do in a day.

  13. Tundra

    I need to add some things to the daily routine, beyond hanging out with the dogs, of course.

    Agility and advanced obedience would be fantastic.

    • Chafed

      Or spending an hour at the dog park playing fetch.

    • rhywun

      Yaaaaas I love that album, and don’t own it. (OK, I had the cassette when it came out.)

      • Sensei

        The album name is the catalog number it was assigned by the record co. From memory Atlantic…

      • rhywun

        I’m pretty sure Kasey Casem mentioned that every week…

      • rhywun

        Just checked; my iTunes has two other songs from that album. Must complete.

      • Sensei

        Hell, I’ve got the CD from when it first released.

        In all its uncompressed and original non dynamically compressed form.

        Currently sitting as FLAC files on my media server.

      • rhywun

        Meh, I’ll upgrade my 128 kbps to 320 and be happy. I can’t hear the difference with my equipment.

      • Sensei

        I’m not that much of a purist. I’m ok with modern lossy compression.

        What I generally hate are cash grab digitally remastered albums that are generally worse than the original.

    • Chafed

      I figured someone would link that or Bowie.

  14. Tonio

    “One of us, one of us!”

    Welcome to retirementlandia!

    As far as fiction — the muse is fickle. She will bestow her favors on you when she wishes. But try to write something every day, whether it’s a description of something you saw, recording an interesting bit of dialogue you heard, or playing with an action scene. At some point the inspiration will hit and you will build a story using some or all of those parts.

    Good luck with the courses.

    Have fun. You’ve earned it.

    • CPRM

      Having a deadline can help smack the muse into getting back to work, that and lots of drinking.

  15. Brochettaward

    RC Dean posted about Adult Swim canning Roiland from Rick and Morty. He’s also out at his game company. On top of the domestic violence thing, he’s dealing with accusations of being into teen girls. Color me skeptical of texts from unknown authors, most of which aren’t even sexual in nature. At all. “Most” come from minors, the OP alleges. Well, which do and which don’t? Like two refer to actual sexual encounters, and one is a long story from some broad who pretends to be a powerful girl boss because she refuses to kiss another girl at his request (even though she went out with him and got liquored up after he had hit on her).

    There’s no good reason for a middle aged man to be interacting with teenage girls who aren’t related to him, and even then some non-negligible number of men get creepy. But the rush right now is to pile on and fuck vague, cryptic accusations of attention whores.

    • Brochettaward

      And Roiland may or may not have said he was libertarian at some point, so there is a dogpile of Redditors saying that libertarianism is a bastion of pedophilia. Because of course. And one “I used to be a libertarian until” types who says the reaction to the covid vaccine turned him off.

      The progs of Reddit may want to take a look at their own house.

      • Chafed

        It’s hard to see a problem through rose colored glasses.

    • Sensei

      Given Hollywood it sounds like he is fucked even if this turns out false or mostly false.

    • R C Dean

      That wasn’t me.

      • Brochettaward

        If The Bro gives you a shout-out, you just roll with it.

      • Rat on a train

        Poor Tundra.

  16. The Hyperbole

    Speaking of booze, the plastic part come off the cork part of the stopper in my bottle of Old-Granddad so now I have to pull it out with my teeth like some cowboy in a western movie, so that’s kinda cool.

    • MikeS

      Have to, or want to?

      • R.J.

        I bet it’s “want to.”

  17. R.J.

    Very nice. You are living my dream!
    Also for drinks I recently converted to making my own simple syrup as it mixes so much smoother than granular sugar. I will try your Sazerac recipe soon.

  18. pistoffnick

    …my daily cocktail lasts me about an hour and a half…

    The Fuq?!?!?

    It’s about 1 every half hour for me. I might be a drunkard.

    • pistoffnick

      Congrats on retirement!

      I have at least 15 years left to go. The recent divorce and the stock market have conspired against me.

    • R.J.

      My assumption is that retirement makes your expensive cocktails turn into everlasting gobstoppers to avoid bankruptcy.

      • MikeS

        Aww yeaaaah.

      • MikeS

        Wait. “Cripple” Creek? What a terribly ableist song. It must be canceled.

      • Tundra

        Nope. I’ll defend it to the death.

      • MikeS

        Are you near it? It’s in Colorado IIRC…?

      • Tundra

        Yes! About 130 miles south.

        I’ll have to go down and see if it’s truly a Drunkard’s Dream!

      • MikeS

        If When I visit you, I fully expect to get drunk in Cripple Creek.

      • Tundra

        If When I visit you, I fully expect to get drunk in Cripple Creek.

        Count on it.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The song specifically says, “near Lake Charles Louisiana”

      • MikeS

        I’ve always been bad about hearing lyrics.

      • Tundra

        It doesn’t matter. Let’s go to CO and LA!

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, It’s the “Jump” of The Band songs. If I never hear it again it wouldn’t be a big loss.

      • Tundra

        Y’all need Jesus, boy.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        MikeS- I’ve always been bad about hearing lyrics.

        Me too, so I looked them up.

        Bessie lives in Lake Charles (passed through there today in a downpour).

        She drives him away to Cripple Creek (assume Colorado) where he pines for her

    • rhywun

      ‘Bout one an hour for me.

      • pistoffnick

        Maybe put a nipple over that glass while you milk it.

        Rookie!

      • MikeS

        I’d pass out from boredom!

    • R C Dean

      Well, it’s at least a double. I generally start with 3 oz of liquor and go from there.

  19. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    I doubt I’ll ever retire at this point. If I do, I’m liable to disappear myself into some South or Central American country. They’ll find me in the jungle writing my manifesto.

    • pistoffnick

      I would subscribe to your newsletter.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I promise to seal each envelope by rubbing the hallucinogenic excretions of a tropical frog on the flap.

      • MikeS

        OK. I’ll take a subscription, too. Actually, could I get a few? I’ll pass them out to friends or something.

    • Tundra

      I seriously doubt I will, either. I assume that my labor will help my kids.

      I’m actually OK with that.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Work gets to be a habit.

      • rhywun

        It is of course a good habit but goddamn some days….

      • Tundra

        Yes.

        I’ll keep working, but it will be increasingly on my terms.

      • MikeS

        I was going to say this. Yeah, I want to work, but increasingly I don’t want to work necessarily when other people want me to work.

      • Rat on a train

        I would like to at least get to where I don’t need to work. Find a retirement job like my father did.

  20. Animal

    Congrats RC. Now that you have endless free time, you should come check out the fishing up here in the Great Land.

    • PudPaisley

      I took this picture a week or two ago to share with you when passing through the area.

      https://imgur.com/gWqacD2

      I’ve been hiking a lot of the bluffs up and down the Mississippi River Valley from Winona to Pike’s Peak the last two winters, but seem to keep missing Allamakee County. I started to rectify that last weekend.

      I did a nice snowshoe hike at Effigy Mounds on the trails just south of the Yellow River mouth and another at Luster Heights in the state forest, about 11 miles total. I even wandered around the old state forest. I already got a couple others planned at both locations. The Yellow River State Forest is big and it looks like there are a bunch of trails that will take several days of hiking according to the All Trails app.

      Just wondering if you have any recommendations of places to check out? It’s a really cool area, but I’ve been hindered from driving some of the sketchy roads until I get my truck brakes / ABS sensors fixed. I could spend days just driving around and exploring the county. The trails are little used in the winter, which is nice for me. On many trails the only tracks I see are deer, squirrel, turkey, and coyote. There are some “torn up” areas that I suspect might be from Bald Eagles, but just a guess.

      • MikeS

        Cool pic, Pud.

      • Tundra

        Gorgeous!

        Do you have AllTrails? It’s my go to app for cool hikes. It’s really helped being in a new area.

      • MikeS

        RIF

      • PudPaisley

        **It should read the old Luster Heights State Prison grounds, not old state forest.

        Mike S: Thanks. Here’s some cool pictures I took a few weeks ago at Wyalusing State Park, where the Wisconsin River flows into the Mississippi. It was a last minute diversion I took at the end of a 13 mile hike that was totally worth it. Very psychedelic, with hundreds or thousands of tiny icicles. Two pictures.

        Tundra: All Trails is the greatest app ever. I drive around back roads with the app open, and when I’m in a cool area that I like I look around for some trails to hit. I’ve found all kinds of cool trails I never knew existed until I got the app last year. The trails up and down the river around me are endless.

      • MikeS

        That is so f’ing cool!

      • Tundra

        Yeah, I’m aroused.

      • pistoffnick

        Pud,

        I grew near Lake City. Beautiful country!

      • PudPaisley

        I remember that. I stay at my BIL’s cabin a couple times a year, which is on Lake Pepin just south of Pepin. His family owes a bunch of land along the water from the Chippewa River mouth north for about a mile. Much of it is swampland, but a duck hunter’s paradise.

        I stop in Lake City every time I go to a concert in the cities to take a leak at the rest stop! That area is on my northernmost list of places to hike, but it’s gonna be some time until I get the chance to explore the area. I have a lot of places on my bucket list. There’s 120 miles of river to explore from Prairie Du Chien to Lake City.

      • Mojeaux

        Lake Pepin just south of Pepin

        Laura Ingalls Wilder!

      • PudPaisley

        I was going to mention that specifically for you and GT! Laura rocks, and I was a fan even before going there.

        There is a small museum in town dedicated to her, but it’s not very good.

  21. Fourscore

    Good show, RC. It won’t be long before you’ll wonder how did you ever have time to work. I see a lot of things that need to be done, especially yard work after the winter storms we’ve had but I’ll never get to them. My granddaughter and husband will be here come summer, I’ll drive the tractor and they can load the debris on it. A lot of firewood that I don’t need from all the toppled trees, maybe my neighbor will clean them up for the wood.

    I’ve learned that a little dust is OK, in fact a lot of dust isn’t too bad either. Relax, nothing bad happens is something doesn’t get done when you thought it would/should.

    Enjoy your retirement, you da man now!

    • Mojeaux

      Hey, Fourscore! How are you faring?

      • Chafed

        I read that as farting and feel bad.

      • MikeS

        Farting should always make you feel good. If it didn’t, it was a shart.

  22. Gustave Lytton

    Bryan Caplan is on Tucker Today
    a) damn, he’s gotten old!
    b) I am disappointed he is wearing a suit and the still photos of him show him wearing pants instead of shorts

    • R.J.

      You mean the Bryan Caplan who was born in 1971?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes. I remember first reading him about twenty years ago when his hair was black not salt and pepper with more salt than pepper.

  23. Sean

    @RC, you don’t have a big enough ammo pile to retire. Get a job!

    • MikeS

      Hillary Narrator: Not yet.

  24. Timeloose

    Congratulations RC. I hope you can relax a bit. Keep a routine of some sort if you can.

    With your background you should be able to score some good board of directors gigs. Volunteering at first followed by paying gigs if possible. They could keep your wits sharp, maintain and grow your network, and help companies.

  25. Annoyed Nomad

    Congrats on your retirement! Welcome to the other side.

    The inevitable question has been “So what are you going to do/what are your plans?”

    My answer was always, “Whatever I damn well feel like doing.”

  26. Shpip

    After this month, I will be doing the landscape maintenance

    If you’d like a really low-effort project, I have some acorns from a live oak (you probably saw a boatload of these back in your Spider days) of a particularly interesting provenance. That’s all I’ll mention about them here, except that they grow nicely in your part of the country.

    Only cost to you would be a bag of potting soil and a pot, plus remembering to water the thing a couple times a week until it’s established.

    Email me at pjshpip_(at)_g-mail if you’re at all interested. I’m actually planning an article on this (the acorns and their mother tree’s history, not your retirement).

    • R C Dean

      I love live oaks – we had them when we were in West Texas. I’ve never seen one in Tucson (that I recognized.

      Our house is on mostly sand and gravel (a thin layer) over granite. Let me see if one might grow where we live.

      • Shpip

        They don’t grow nearly as big in AZ as they do in the southeastern US, so you could conceivably keep one in a pot for a decade or so. But when you plant it, you’d certainly want to do so away from your foundation and any pipes, etc.

        Shoot me an email and I’ll tell you the story of the tree.

      • dbleagle

        Tucson is not good for oaks since it is Sonoran life zone. If you head to Oracle or up to middle Sabino or Bear creeks you get to oak country.

  27. creech

    Good on you. The first thing you’ll probably appreciate is Sunday nights – – – no more sitting there planning next week’s work tasks, stressing out about some crap the boss wants “asap,” and what the office drama kings and queens are going to toss your way.

  28. Lackadaisical

    Congrats RC- stay busy, help others. Do something fun you weren’t able to before.

    • Chafed

      Tough but fair.

  29. Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

    Congratulations, I have been in the club for two years now. Of course, I did it for medical reasons, so, yippee?

    I have been getting into antiques to fill my time. Just kinda selling small stuff online, and slowly looking for a mall to set up a booth. I don’t know if keeping busy helps, as my grandfather sat on a bar stool and died, while my father had a million things to do but Alzheimer’s got him anyway. But it fights the boredom, so I got that going for me.

    The secret to retirement is not to quit doing things, but to limit the number of things you do in a day.

    • Mojeaux

      I always have to be making something. I may vegetate for a couple of hours every day for a week and read Reddit, but eventually, I have to go find me something to create.

  30. The Bearded Hobbit

    Congratulations, RC!

    As someone mentioned above: keep the cleaning woman.

    • rhywun

      I’ve never had a “cleaning woman” – it strikes me as impossibly old-fashioned and way beyond my means. Like something from a seventies sit-com – another era. *shrug*

      But the thought has crossed my mind.

      • Mojeaux

        I actually made “having a service” be a trigger point for a character, as in, my heroine’s mother had pounded it into her that she was to be the perfect housewife, but my heroine was actually an architect who was forced into hiring a service, and her mother came down on her like a ton of bricks, and she eventually caved, and she then would feel dirty and sinful just for thinking about having a cleaning service. Daughter-mother angst. So glad I don’t have that with my mom.

      • MikeS

        Both my wife and I are comfortable with clutter. A cleaning service would either quit out of frustration or get fired for messing with our stuff.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::fist bump:: ::or whatever the kids are doing these days::

      • MikeS

        🤜🏻🤛🏻

  31. Mojeaux

    w00t! Congrats! *Snoopy dance*

    Bad news: You become your parents eventually.

  32. MikeS

    It took my dad a while to get into retirement. Even after 10 years of retirement, he’ll still occasionally be wishy-washy on taking a day-trip and has to remind himself that he’s retired and it really doesn’t matter if he’s gone for twelve hours or 3 days.

    Congrats, RC. Enjoy your reward for years of gainful employment.

  33. slumbrew

    Mazel tov!

    I will now read the comments to see if my questions are answered…

    • MikeS

      No. I didn’t First tonight. But I’ll do it for you soon.

      • Chafed

        We’re counting on you MikeS.

      • MikeS

        L’chaim

      • Brochettaward

        Then you are doomed.

  34. Gender Traitor

    I have it on pretty good authority that retirement is when you wake up with nothing to do and go to bed with half of it not done.

    • Shpip

      You’re pretty close.

      The first half of my working life, I was a low-to-mid-level pubsec bureaucrat. It didn’t take me long to adopt the mentality where, if something wasn’t done by 4:45 (2:30 on a Friday), my attitude was “Well, the work will still be there tomorrow.”

      Being retired is kinda like being a bureaucrat. The car didn’t get washed? Eh, tomorrow. Took a nap instead of planting the snapdragons? Tomorrow. Christmas decorations have been boxed up for a week but aren’t put up in the crawlspace yet? Sometime before Friday, I guess.

      The trick is not to let “tomorrow” turn into “July,” or “never.”

  35. Tres Cool

    You’re retired. Im going to work.
    Pray that I get home after snow-maggedon where white death shall fall from the sky in a couple of hours.

    • Gender Traitor

      Be careful out there, homey!

      My employer already decided not to open until 1 p.m. tomorrow. 😁

    • Hyperion

      One of wifey’s co-workers sent her a pic of her and family making a snowman, from Zenia. I hope there’s not a snownader. Zenia, at least it wasn’t Godzilla. I told my wife to ask her friend if she’s seen Gummo.

  36. kinnath

    Congratulations RC.

    I’m not sure that I will ever fully retire. I will certainly file for the pension and social security when I hit 70. But I expect to continue with contract work for as long as I can think clearly. Note that exercising your brain is key to being able to think clearly for a long time.

    • Hyperion

      Same

    • rhywun

      continue with contract work

      Maybe.

      I do know that I don’t want to be maintaining software I wrote 30 years ago like a couple codgers I worked with way back when.

      Nothing wrong with that but it doesn’t appeal to me at all.

      • slumbrew

        Shit, I don’t want to maintain things I wrote 5 years ago.

        “What was that guy thinking?! Past-me made terrible decisions”

  37. Hyperion

    Retirement seems a thing of the past to me. If you can do it, good to you! I’ll still be working at 90. One day I’ll just fall over at my desk and that will be how it ends. A gallon of milk will be $500 and a dozen eggs a grand. Maybe Bildo will give me a 1/10 acre of that farm land so I can grow some taters, hahahahahaha!!!

  38. Chafed

    Congratulations RC. Enjoy your time. I suggest many naps with your dogs.

  39. slumbrew

    A question:

    You mentioned cutting back n the nightcaps since it’ll save $xx, plus you’ll lose some weight. Is the former truly a concern?

    When I contemplate my Number, I assume current spending, at least to start. Including things like nightcaps.

    • R C Dean

      Is the money really a concern? No, not really. More of a bonus. The “making no money” (except maybe occasionally) thing will take some getting used to, though.

      • R C Dean

        Oh, the plan should cover our current expenses, too. Just a change of perspective type of deal.

      • slumbrew

        Rodger that.

        Still a solid decade+ away, but starting to think of such things.

  40. one true athena

    Congrats! My husband is filing for retirement right now. I mean, literally this week, though he’s not going to take it until july. I have back surgery in June, so we’re going to keep the best insurance before retirement, but then he’s out (and I’m already done, filed inactive with the bar). We don’t plan on moving until the kiddo is at least done with his degree, though we’ll see how badly Newsom fucks over the state even more.

    • slumbrew

      we’ll see how badly Newsom fucks over the state even more.

      *narrator* it was even worse than imagined

      • Chafed

        Come for the high income tax. Stay for the wealth tax.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Stay or leave for the wealth tax.

      • Rat on a train

        Eventually they will go after anyone who has ever been in California.

  41. Ownbestenemy

    I love my kids. I do. But oldest is here for middles bday and is now lingering. Like…get the fuck out lingering.

    I am a terrible person i think.

    • Sean

      😂😂

  42. dbleagle

    I retired from my first career and am working my second. I already told my adult kids that I have done my last security clearance renewal and will be done NLT than the expiration date. After that I might do what my dad did when he retired. Work in a part time “fun job” to keep active and learn some new skills. After a few years of that just give notice and be done.

    There is a ton to do around southern AZ so there is no reason to get bored.

    • Rat on a train

      I have done my last security clearance renewal
      Good thing they don’t know you associate with us.

  43. robodruid

    A very hearty congratulations to RC.
    Please don’t let retirement lead to an early death….

    So I have to watch a drill crew decide where to drill on snow covered golf course today.
    Could be fun.

  44. Sean

    Hey. Wake up Glibs!

    Most of you have to go to work today.

    😃☕🍩

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The lab meat will be the pricy stuff (except for the real thing that the gazillionaires will actually get to eat) you’ll get crickets and mealworms and you’ll like it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nonsense.

        With Sean’s social credit score, he won’t get any food rations.

      • Grosspatzer

        I’ll have a Wish sandwich and a Coke Pepsi.

    • robodruid

      Now you are just taunting….

      Good Morning.

      • Sean

        😁

        🐰🎆🎉

    • UnCivilServant

      If it’s not pork grease and spices, it’s not Chorizo.

    • Rat on a train

      Neither The Union League nor DeSantis offices haven’t responded to CBS Philadelphia’s requests in attempts for an interview and leaders say their requests to rescind DeSantis’ invitation were ignored.

      Finally someone responds properly.

    • Grosspatzer

      Dozens showed up to protest. This is newsworthy?

      • rhywun

        It is if it’s the right dozens.

    • rhywun

      OFFS!

      He is becoming the new OMB, isn’t he?

      Let’s see… make shit up, rabble-rouse the activist base, toss in some racist BS…. yup.

    • Rat on a train

      DC bar set to open without alcohol: ‘whether you like it or not’

      DC’s first non-alcoholic bar is set to open to the public this February. It’s called Binge Bar and sits on H Street in Northeast DC near the NoMa neighborhood. Gigi Arandid created the dry bar after getting a DUI and going sober. Arandid says she wants to create a safe, sober place for recovering alcoholics and those who want to limit their drinking. We talk about her sobriety story, her hopes for the bar and the challenges it faces.

      • Grosspatzer

        Hmm. Young ladies in early recovery tend to be very… approachable. Hooking up with such ladies is commonly referred to as the 13th step in 12-step circles, and is strongly discouraged by elder statesmen. This advice is routinely ignored.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Huh, I used to work with a fellow who claimed to troll AA meetings in order to find women who were wavering in order to have drunken flings with them. I thought he was just kidding but maybe not.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought the 13th step was “Relapse”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Adult” spans broadly, was she 18 or 43 (or 90 for that matter)?

      • Rat on a train

        There are many adults attending high schools.

      • Fourscore

        So they are not really public schools? There are many less than adults attending college as well.

    • Grosspatzer

      LOL. It must be tough to figure out how to deal with groups who check both good and bad boxes for banhammer purposes. Do they have a scoring algorithm?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It seems like Zuckerberg, who does ban people and orgs willy nilly if he gets the urge plus, you know, Jewish, would not allow overt Nat Socs on the platform while excluding far less pernicious examples. The Narrative uber alles I guess.

      • Rat on a train

        They are allowed as long as they are punching up.

    • R C Dean

      I’m surprised there’s any left.

  45. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    • Shirley Knott

      Mornin’

      • Grosspatzer

        Yo!

        I am feeling a bit envious after reading R.C.’s post. I need to work up the courage to speak up at our next All Hands meeting, which would result in immediate retirement.

      • UnCivilServant

        “I just want to say ‘Magnus did nothing wrong’.”

      • Grosspatzer

        Our network team made a little change yesterday morning, after which my application was unable to communicate with a downstream app. We were only down for 9 hours, I am looking forward to the retrospective.

      • UnCivilServant

        “The application team was unprepared for the network change that we had published to the corkboard in the NOC. It is clearly their fault.”

      • rhywun

        My current project was about to be demoed for some major higher-ups when someone deleted all the test data due to a database change about 1/2 hour before the demo.

        The demos are every two weeks and this is the second time this has happened.

        Cue me raging for the thousandth time about why I am forced to use the usertest database for development.

      • R C Dean

        “Sorry, guys. Gotta reschedule. Some moron deleted the test data. Again.”

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie, Shirley, U, 4(20), Roat, Stinky, Sean, rhy, and ‘bodru!

      It’s snowing here, and I don’t have to clock in at work until 1:00 p.m. And yet, here I am.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m waiting for a response as to whether I can take a half day and go home before the weather.

      • Sean

        I’ll approve it.

      • rhywun

        Mornin’.

        The usual spot of rain expected here today.

    • UnCivilServant

      Look, I’m not saying that arming your dog is a bad idea, it’s just that they’re not very good about muzzle discipline.

      • Fourscore

        Dog got a leg upon the owner, apparently

    • Rat on a train

      “Where are my testicles, Joseph?”

    • Sean

      $24m and it’s not a castle? Pass.

    • UnCivilServant

      This one has better land, but I don’t like the architecture as much.

      • Rat on a train

        You can tear down and rebuild with the $10m you save.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m partial to the more rustic interior of this one – and to the more rustic/less fancy rooms in the first.

      • UnCivilServant

        I like the fancy rooms. If I’m spending eight digits I want it to feel like a manor house.

      • Sean

        I want it zombie proof.

      • UnCivilServant

        Put in an interior bunker/safe room?

      • Gender Traitor

        I suppose at that level, you can afford a cleaning lady crew.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yeah, there’s no way I’d buy a place that size if I couldn’t afford the staff to keep it nice.

  46. Not Adahn

    “So what are you going to do/what are your plans?”

    Dry fire.

    Dry fire.

    Dry fire.

  47. The Hyperbole

    Nasty outside this morning I’m playing hooky today.

  48. JW

    Congrats, old boy! I’m looking at retiring in 5 years or so and trying to fill the time that works does now is filling me with dread. I know that I have to stay busy, have projects, not just puttering around. At least I’ll get to spend more time on the motorcycle.

    As to the Highlander, it’s a good choice. We rented one last year on a trip and it was very nice. Good power and amenities, comfortable, though the 3rd row was useless for all but small children.