Free Preview: Nova Roma 2, Quaestu pro Nova Terra.

by | Jan 16, 2023 | Fiction | 233 comments

Shameless self-promo:  You can get Nova Roma 1 here or on Amazon.

Note:  This event happens in an actual place; if you drive north out of Ojai, California, and walk up the Potrero John Trail into the Sespe Wilderness, you’ll come on the place described.  I shot a lot of quail in in there in 2008 when I was working in the Los Angeles area.

***

In the West

“Walk about a league up that creek,” Marcus Varus told Centurion Tacitus, pointing up a small tributary to the main stream.  “You’ll come out of the canyon into a big open area.  There is a trail leading up the hillside to the left, and just over the far side you’ll see a small stand of those funny short oaks.  We killed the wapiti in there.”

Tacitus nodded.  “Good.”  He wrapped his heavy robe of bison skin more securely around his shoulders and set out.  Spring was well under way here in the western hills, but a damp, chilly spell had set in the day after the Romans had made their camp in the valley.  “Marius and Dorotheus will be coming along.  Give them directions to the kill as well.”

“I will, sir.”  The legionary saluted and went off down the canyon, whistling.

This country, this golden land that the guide Julius Spotted Horse described, did not measure up by the centurion’s standards.  He preferred the deep, cool forests of Tahonia; the rivers, the meadows, the lakes teeming with fish.  This country was pretty, Tacitus supposed, in its own way.  The hills were rocky and steep, covered with low brush and only a few trees.  Quail, deer and wapiti were plentiful.  At least the men fed well.  But Ursus Tacitus would be glad to be back in Tahonia when this was over; he was, after more than a year on the trail, growing homesick.

After a brief walk the canyon opened out into a large open basin, as Varus had described.  A covey of quail buzzed away to Tacitus’ right, bringing a smile from the giant.  It wasn’t well known, but he was a man with a fine appreciation of the beauty of the natural world.  He looked at the hill to the left and saw what looked like an animal trail leading up.

Tacitus walked quickly up the slope.  At least the rain had stopped, and the sun was beginning to peek through the clouds.  The wapiti kill should be just over the crest of this hill, he told himself as he walked along.  Varus said it was just on the other side, in a small stand of oaks.  I can carry twice what the others can, the better to have this done before nightfall.  Wapiti liver will taste good…

What’s that?

Tacitus crested the hill slowly, cautiously.  Something was moving around in the small patch of trees just thirty paces or so below him; something large enough to shake the small, bush-like trees.

Someone is trying to steal our kill, Tacitus thought.  Some local boys, probably, saw the chance for some fresh meat without having to work for it.  He stood tall, puffed up his chest and roared:  “All right!  Come on out of there now!

The trees stopped shaking for a moment.  Tacitus heard a huffing sound.  That’s no boy.  That’s an animal – a big animal.

He drew his gladius.  He saw a large, broad form – impossibly broad – covered with grizzled brown hair.  It was moving his way, very, very fast.

The bear roared as it charged.  It was a massive old boar of the type the men called Ursus Magnus; nothing at all like the timid black bears of Tahonia.  So far the men had only seen them at some distance.  The big animals were thin on the ground, a fact the legionaries had remarked on and were grateful for.

This bear was not at a distance, and was not inclined to brook argument over the wapiti carcass it had claimed.  It burst forth from the trees only steps from where the centurion crouched, sword held ready.  Tacitus had a brief impression of a huge, grizzled animal with a humped back, dished muzzle and an impossibly huge head armed with a mouthful of yellow teeth.  He had only a moment to wish uselessly for a scutum before the bear hit him.

The centurion managed a stab with his gladius, aiming at the spot where the bear’s head met its neck, but missed as the bear swung a massive paw to strike at his head.  Tacitus turned, managed to take the blow on this shoulder and instead of hitting the vital spot, managed only to drive the blade into the bear’s side.  The bear’s swipe knocked him off his feet.  By some miracle he managed to keep his grip on his sword; he rolled and came to his feet, staggering slightly.

The bear bit at the wound on his shoulder.  He shook his head and looked at the Roman centurion.  Man and bear faced each other.

“Come on, then,” the centurion taunted the beast.  “Do your worst.”

With a roar, the bear came for Tacitus again.  Tacitus met the charge with a bellow of his own.  He managed to strike the razor-edged blade home in the bear’s neck even as the bear’s massive paw came crashing into his head.  He fell to the ground, stunned.

A horrible pain accompanied by a grinding sound told him the bear had sunk its teeth into his shoulder.  The bear shook him like a dog with a rat.  There was something else; a stink of copper, a sticky liquid on his face…

He grasped at his belt.  His stabbing dagger was still secure in its sheath.  He grabbed it and struck at the bear’s head, again and again.

Growling, the bear dropped him and staggered off.  Tacitus rolled on his side, groaning in agony.  He saw the bear, walking slowly in a semicircle; blood pumped steadily from its neck.  I struck the artery, he realized.  Even as the beast staggered back towards him, Tacitus closed his eyes.  The world went red, then black.

Legionaries Celerius Dorotheus and Faustus Marius were following Tacitus’ trail up the hill when they heard the bear’s roar.  “Did you hear that?” Marius said.

The men ran to the crest of the hill.  “Juno’s mercy,” Dorotheus breathed.

Tacitus was lying on the ground, either dead or unconscious.  An enormous bear was nosing his body.  Blood stained the bear’s muzzle and ran in a stream from its neck.  Sensing the arrival of the two newcomers, the beast rose on its hind legs and roared a warning.

Marius reached into his quiver for an arrow, nocked it, and aimed.  He loosed an arrow that slammed into the bear’s throat.  The beast dropped back to all fours with a gurgling noise, and started up the hill towards them in a shuffling lope.

Marius nocked a second arrow.  He aimed carefully.  He knew his reputation; he was supposed to be the best archer in all the Tahonian legions, possibly in the entire Roman army; now would be the test.  The great beast only had one vulnerable spot Marius could see…

He loosed.  The iron-tipped arrow leaped from his bow to slam home in the great bear’s left eye, driving through to the brain.  The bruin sank to the ground with a groan, twitching as its last breath ran out.

Marius and Dorotheus ran to their fallen comrade.  Marius knelt by the giant.  “He’s alive.”  The archer looked up.  “Run and get Bubonius and the Tribune.”

“Eh?”  Dorotheus looked stunned.

“The physician!  The old owl!  Get him!  You’re a runner, now run!”

Dorotheus sprinted away.

Marius examined the fallen giant.  Tacitus’ eyes opened for a moment; he looked at Marius.  “About time,” he rumbled.  “What took you so long?”

“Oh, you know how it is, sir.  We passed a village, and there were these two girls…”

Tacitus managed a stern, reproving look.  “The bear?”

“Dead,” Marius said.  “I finished it for you, but you struck a fatal blow.  It would have bled to death in a few more moments.”

“Good,” Tacitus breathed.  “I’ll wear its pelt with honor.  He was brave.  A worthy opponent…”  The giant fell off into unconsciousness again.

“Few enough of those for a man your size, I’ll wager,” Marius said.  He pulled the giant’s bison-skin robe out from under the fallen man and covered him with it.

With that done, Marius walked over to look at the bear.  “Horrible beast,” he muttered to himself.  “What a horrible, horrible bear.”

Were the beast not laying before him, Marius would have had a hard time believing such an animal existed.  He knew bears; the black bears of Tahonia and the mountains of Tsalesia could be dangerous if cornered or provoked, and the boars sometimes grew quite large.

But nothing like this.

Marius looked at the bear’s neck.  Tacitus had indeed struck a fatal blow; blood still oozed from the deep wound.  A pool of blood spread on the ground under the beast.  “How many men have ever faced a beast like this and killed it with a sword?” he marveled.

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

233 Comments

  1. kinnath

    I just ordered the first book.

    I need to get back into reading.

  2. DEG

    Taking a grizzly with a sword. Impressive.

  3. Aloysious

    Cool.

    I really like the mash up between times and places.

  4. The Bearded Hobbit

    I’m going to skip this because I want to read the book. I enjoy your writing, Animal.

  5. The Bearded Hobbit

    We are on our road trip. We planned to visit and hike the Guadalupe Mountains Nat’l Park today. We discovered that, since it is Martin Luther King day that the park is a) free and b) closed.

    Heavy winds dissuaded us from our hike today. Big Bend tomorrow.

    • Gustave Lytton

      If I recall correctly, you’re a AF veteran right, BH? Park entry is now free with a lifetime pass for all veterans.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        We bought the lifetime senior passes when we hit the right age. Didn’t know about the veterans pass. Thanks for the info.

      • MikeS

        Is that for all National parks?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, entry fee for all National Parks and day use fees for USFS and other agencies.

        Also, if any Glibs have 4th graders in their families, the family is eligible for a similar free pass.

    • MikeS

      I’m sure Dr. King would be happy to know that National Parks are closed to “honor” him.

    • pistoffnick

      Big Bend tomorrow.

      Don’t speed through the park. I sped through the park on a motorcycle (the speed limit is an impossibly slow 40 mph, (maybe, I don’t remember)). I do remember the lady park ranger speeding her decked out Chevy Suburban to catch up with me). She was worried about me running over javalinas. I saw no javalinas. She ran over a javalina catching up to me.. She let me go without a ticket. I popped a wheelie to show my displeasure.

  6. rhywun

    I can’t believe the NFL has me rooting for the fucking Cowboys.

    • juris imprudent

      The wife asked me who we were cheering for and I just looked blankly at her – nope, can’t get behind either of these two. Not even once.

    • Brochettaward

      Watching Tom Brady do that thing where he falls back to turtle and avoid a hit and fuck up a throwaway that gets picked was entertaining.

      Not watching. Just saw the highlight.

      • rhywun

        Not really watching either. Listening to music, maybe take a shower.

        Am pissed that I’m missing the Australian Open for this crap game. ESPN could show it on one of their other channels instead of showing this game on three channels but of course not.

      • juris imprudent

        Just imagine “Tom Brady” in Team America “Matt Damon” voice.

      • rhywun

        OMG. He is a Team America character – that explains a lot.

      • dbleagle

        I switched off to watch “In the Heat of the Night” on TCM. Damn, that is still a great movie.

        As a Packers fan I must root against Dallas in all circumstances. Go “Igles”!

    • MikeS

      Jeezus. I can’t imagine. When I gave a shit I don’t think there was a single team I hated more.

      • MikeS

        Oh. They’re playing Tom Brady’s team? Couldn’t pay me enough to watch.

  7. slumbrew

    Excellent, Animal. Just purchased the first one.

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    Not reading this part, ordered the first book, thanks Animal!

    • MikeS

      Ditto

  9. slumbrew

    The missed extra points are hilarious. 4 in a row.

    • Mojeaux

      Right? I chuckled.

      • Chafed

        Guess who will be unemployed tomorrow.

    • rhywun

      “This is PBS.”

  10. Mojeaux

    I don’t have the animus for the Cowboys the rest of the country does. I also don’t particularly have much against Tom Brady, except I do think he’s peaked and probably should hang it up. Possibly he’s an NFL golden child and calls are made to benefit him. /conspiracy

    But I do like me some underdogs, so I’m enjoying this game.

    • rhywun

      I just find him creepy and kind of alien-ish.

      The sycophancy is annoying, too*.

      *Take your pick

      • slumbrew

        He’s intense and has done nothing but play football or prepare to play football since he was teen.

        I suspect he’s not a scintillating dinner companion.

        Part of the alien-ness – little but football in his life.

      • cyto

        And thanks to Mojeaux I turned it on in time to watch Brady engineer an impossible drive for a touchdown with absolutely no rushing attack.

        It doesn’t seem possible. Dude is way too old to be in the league, let alone carrying a team on his back like that.

      • Mojeaux

        Sorry?

      • cyto

        I don’t think your black magic extends to making Brady immortal. But I did turn it on and then Dallas immediately got stuck and had to punt.

        So apparently I control the universe. Simply by observing, I changed the outcome.

      • Mojeaux

        Sometimes my spells go awry.

      • cyto

        And wow…. Tampa’s defense looked like a bad college defense just then. You just don’t see that tin the pros.

      • slumbrew

        Brady is past his prime but the rest of the team has serious shortcomings.

        Like zero running game.

      • dbleagle

        I must admit TB’s football skills and for years I was in the “don’t give a sit” camp about Brady. Then he threw the lowly team equipment guy under the bus to try and save his own ass during Deflategate. From that moment forward I am firmly in the FYTB camp.

    • slumbrew

      Bucs are the underdogs, tho. Home dogs, getting 2.5.

      • Mojeaux

        My bad. Didn’t know.

        Rhywun’s point about his creepy alien-ish-ness is on point, though.

    • rhywun

      Isn’t Tampa Bay the underdog here? Their record stinks. They’re like the tallest midget in their division IIRC.

      • slumbrew

        Yep, won the division with a losing record. 8-9 beat the other 3 teams at 7-10.

    • DrOtto

      Brady reminds me of Schumacher retiring from F1 at the top of his game, and then coming back because he missed racing. At a point it just becomes sad.

      • slumbrew

        Or Farvre with the Jets, etc.

      • slumbrew

        Hell, Jordan with the Wizards.

    • cyto

      Cowboys as underdogs?

      • Mojeaux

        No, my bad. I didn’t consult fivethirtyeight before showing my ass.

      • slumbrew

        You’d be forgiven for thinking Brady’s team was favored. It’s been the default for decades.

      • cyto

        The only reason this is a wild card game is because Dallas is a bunch of screw-ups. I think the term of art is “inconsistent”. But they were one of the favorites for best record I the NFL.. then they kept losing games they shouldn’t lose.

        They could easily win it all if they play like the best version we have seen. Or Tampa could come back and win this one if they play like their worst version.

  11. R.J.

    I must start a shelf for all the Glib’s books soon. I will be buying this too.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Me too. But that author photo is clearly fake. Doesn’t look anything like Animal.

      • rhywun

        Heh my stock photo that I had attached at work doesn’t look anything like me anymore either so I deleted it.

      • slumbrew

        Insufficiently hirsute

  12. Mojeaux

    Animal, I bought your Crider Chronicles long ago. I will get on that soon.

  13. R.J.

    Looks like a man down on the field for Tampa. It’s not Brady.

    • Mojeaux

      Taken off on a backboard.

      • The Last American Hero

        So they’re going to cancel it? That’s what we apparently do now.

  14. dbleagle

    Good work Animal. That area above Ojai is beautiful and certainly had lots of quail when I lived in the area. Too bad it is in the The Democratic People’s Republic of California.

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Late night update for House OBE. Kids mother (not my wife) has been moved to hospice. Oldest is very dead to it, at least on the outside. They endured so much that I probably don’t know the extent. We had a very uh…spirited conversation about it. When I say spirited, we were quite into a bottle. I broke down. It was the first time they have seen me cry. Youngest has been in therapy for a while now so has outlets and methods of handling the situation.

    Their poor half sister though. She is the oldest and is handling it all.

    • robodruid

      I am sorry OBE. That does not sound good for anyone.

    • Sean

      Sorry OBE.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sorry bud, that sounds rough.

    • Gender Traitor

      Your kids are lucky to have you, OBE.

  16. hayeksplosives

    Re: Tom Brady having peaked.

    He should have hung it up after his Tampa Super Bowl win. “Always leave them wanting more” as the show biz saying goes.

    That said, I think he knew his marriage was breaking down, and football was probably the only place he could “belong” and find direction.

    He has nothing to apologize for.

    • robodruid

      I get the feeling the football was causing stress on her. From what we know of football I can see it.
      But they are both adults.

      After the kneeling stupidity, I walked away from watching the game. Not going to miss it.

  17. hayeksplosives

    Animal, you are going to cause me to depart from my of 10 year habit of reading strictly non-fiction.

    👍

  18. Sean

    Mornin Glibs!

    😁

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, hayek, ‘bodru, Roat, Scruffy, and Penguin!

      Today is D-Day at work. A day behind because of the holiday, of course, so I have to check all timesheets ASAP and export ’em into the payroll program before I plug in most employees’ semi-annual incentives. Then, whenever the “draft” of our final pay is ready for final approval, I need to make sure all the new pay rates are in effect as well as various other contributions and/or deductions.

      After today, I might look into taking a little time off.

      • Penguin

        Mornin’ GT! Yeah, holidays are great until… Still, not having to drive into work is so wonderful – especially on a Monday. Hope your burden doesn’t hurt too badly.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, Penguin! My dreaded Hell Month is going well enough that it’s making me paranoid. I did remember one more big project I have to finish, but I think it’s mostly done – just have to plug in info I won’t have until this week’s payroll is done.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s Indiana. Maybe he caught a gun on its migration to Chicago.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’sa nice way of saying sociopathic.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The smiles that don’t extend to the eyes are dead giveaways.

      • Penguin

        Yeah, the little kid bottom right is sincere, that’s about it.

    • rhywun

      “Flamboyant…”

      Yeah I watched that trash once, and I had questions.

    • Rat on a train

      QI. Nobody said those actions were forbidden.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Should I have not done that? I have to plead ignorance on this one.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What I find plausible is a total collapse of the green energy market within a decade.

    • rhywun

      No I don’t find it plausible that “demand for electric vehicles soars” – not organically, anyway.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Eh, demand is pretty strong. People like feeling good rather than making smart decisions.

      • rhywun

        A lot of it is being fed by government regulations and “nudging”.

    • Penguin

      I agree. Saw them in London in 2002.

    • MikeS

      I’m partial to Nugget. (nsfw lyrics)

      I haven’t listened to Cake in a while. I guess this morning I’ll have my Cake and listen to it, too.

  19. Sensei

    TikTok Tries to Win Allies in the U.S. With More Transparency

    You can’t make this up.

    ByteDance is trying to walk a fine line in talks with U.S. officials. Its goal is to maintain ownership of TikTok in the U.S., but also make the app’s operations more transparent and silo it off in a separate unit overseen by U.S. government-approved employees. TikTok is trying to convince lawmakers that with these measures in place, the app won’t pose a threat to U.S. citizens.

    • UnCivilServant

      Sorry, as long as you are an espionage arm of the CCP, I don’t trust you. Adding another layer of CCP-compromised individuals to the mix won’t help.

      • Sensei

        And FedGov censors and monitors.

        Because the unspoken agreement with traditional MSM has now has an end around.

    • rhywun

      They’re giving us the rope dancing grannie memes to hang ourselves with.

  20. juris imprudent

    So, site is back, but no morning post yet.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m happy the site is back, and regard that as more important of the two items.

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, I was having a life crisis moment without my Glibroni fix…

      • Sean

        *looks around*

        I got some work done…

      • robodruid

        Panic, i had some.

      • Not Adahn

        +1

    • Ted S.

      The site was doen?

      • Ted S.

        I’ve been at work all morning, Rufus.

    • Brochettaward

      Where we’re going, we don’t need morning posts.

    • R.J.

      Relief. I checked in this morning and saw it went down. It was showing signs of unhappiness earlier yesterday,

  21. juris imprudent

    Bean-grinder has a slider bar for how many cups to grind – it was slid over a position and I didn’t notice. Coffee very strong this morning.

    • UnCivilServant

      Should’ve made another cup.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    *tapping frantically on keyboard like a monkey in an experiment expecting a treat*

    • PieInTheSky

      Lets decide who we blame

      • Not Adahn
      • Penguin

        I was expecting Zeppelin, but I understand.

      • Ted S.

        Brochettaward. The Alleged First didn’t change everything; it broke the site.

      • Brochettaward

        No one has any need to be alarmed right now. The First That Shall Change Everything is safe and sound in my man-womb, growing on the nourishment of my Firsting prowess.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *throws banana at P Brooks*

  23. Not Adahn

    FYI: Bear is misspelled as “boar” after “the bear roared as it charged.”

    • Ted S.

      You cis-speciesist! The bear identifies as a boar.

    • WTF

      “Boar” as in male bear, as opposed to sow.

      • Not Adahn

        So Tacitus was cheicking out his junk? NTTAWWT….

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Lets decide who we blame

    Get the dunking stool ready!

  25. Q Continuum

    ‘The top five short-term risks were the “cost-of-living crisis, natural disasters and extreme weather, geo-economic confrontation, failure to mitigate climate change, and erosion of social cohesion and societal polarization.”’

    https://www.theepochtimes.com/world-economic-forum-declares-2023-the-year-of-the-polycrisis_4987553.html

    Erosion of social cohesion and societal polarization you say? That couldn’t possibly have anything to do with a cabal of out-of-touch elites dictating to billions of people how to live…

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Erosion of social cohesion and societal polarization you say? That couldn’t possibly have anything to do with a cabal of out-of-touch elites dictating to billions of people how to live…

    WAR IS PEACE

    IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

    FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

    • PieInTheSky

      just fake IDs

    • WTF

      Prostitutes gather in Davos

      But enough about the politicians…

      • PieInTheSky

        stop that. prostitutes do hard hones work for their money

    • Penguin

      Of course hookers would gather where there are a bunch of scumbags pimping humanity. They are – by far – the least disgusting people to emerge in Davos.

    • R C Dean

      Who said the prostitutes were adults?

    • WTF

      *Clint Eastwood squint*
      “Mask’s got nothing to do with it.”

      • Count Potato

        Well, certainly not that mask.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Chastain is a special kind of stupid.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Swerved? I bet they really do believe this. That the virus is seeking out those individuals who are maskless or in recent cases, have been boosted for the 90th time

    • Certified Public Asshat

      There appears to be numerous photos of her at the GG without that dumb mask on. I guess it’s the thought that keeps the virus away.

    • PieInTheSky

      hyperspace requires hypermen

      • WTF

        But isn’t Hyperman vulnerable to Kryptonite?

      • Not Adahn

        Fortunately, all the kryptonite is hidden away.

    • juris imprudent

      The vacuum of space has met a greater vacuum.

    • Tundra

      More recently she was involved in a creative project, The Gift, which was an experimental piece of theater that anthropomorphized blue stragglers and made comparisons between the life spans and interactions of stars and humans.

      The artwork is experienced in a room and involves sound and video to narrate the death of a star. The installation opened at the New York Public Library on December 6 but will be moved to Colorado College at some point in 2023.

      Tuition: $70K

      • WTF

        More recently she was involved in a creative project, The Grift

        They misspelled “Grift”.

    • Brochettaward

      The future of space is queer non-binary otherkins. It most definitely will not be men filled with toxic masculinity.

    • WTF

      Everything is racist, and it can only be addressed by giving these idiots money and authority.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      When you can’t contribute to the actual science, cover it up with art and call critics racist.

      • Raven Nation

        Based on her website (i) she’s probably up for tenure this year; (ii) it looks like her publication history is a little light (although, having said that, CC might not require the same level of publication as other schools).

        Also, it’s hilarious that her research focuses on binary systems.

      • Q Continuum

        “it looks like her publication history is a little light”

        I went and perused her CV too; looks like she started out trying to do decent research but her production slowed down a lot once she stopped working for other people. So basically Scruffy’s right; when she has to chase down her own grants and be the PI it looks like she can’t really hack it. I gotta respect the hustle to shift gears into DEI/Proggy grifting that easily. After all, that’s what Higher Ed is really selling nowadays so she knows her audience.

  27. Brochettaward

    I went to the Firster Zone…

    *badass guitar rift here)*

    • juris imprudent

      The abyss stared back.

    • Sean

      L O L

  28. Brochettaward

    Why does the FBI director attend Davos? What does a law enforcement official/bureaucrat have to do with a conference that officially sells itself as:

    We believe that progress happens by bringing together people from all walks of life who have the drive and the influence to make positive change.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s unseemly for Soros to show up at FBI headquarters.

      • R C Dean

        I disagree. That is exactly where he needs to show up, prefatory to being indicted and jailed.

      • Count Potato

        I disagree. A morgue is exactly where he needs to show up.

    • Q Continuum

      “Positive change” = “locking up wrongthinkers”

      The FBI clearly plays a big part in realizing that goal so his attendance is critical.

      • AlexinCT

        Marching orders come from that Davos crowd. That’s why.

    • juris imprudent

      So this is one place where modern fascism diverges wildly from the original – the subversion of nationalism.

      • AlexinCT

        From national fascism to international fascism with major influence of marxism, because pure marxism never works..

        That’s the new world order.

      • juris imprudent

        You know, you end up sounding like a good old time Baptist preacher going on about Satan. There’s no Marxism here, nothing even close. If anything, this is international corporate wealth running the client governments (which would at least fit with the premise that elections are farces). It is people that believe they are a fucking aristocracy – and that sure as hell isn’t Marxist. The Trotskyites were the last true believers – and they were dismayed by the degeneration of the actual manifestation of the worker’s paradise. The Trotskyites never got a state to run – just college departments.

      • Penguin

        Can we start with the obvious? Any person seeking to get rid of 80-90% of humanity is not a good person.

      • juris imprudent

        Yes, indeed – not good and very, very stupid. Let’s also be clear, that isn’t automatically a Marxist. Supposedly they only wanted to kill the bourgeoisie so the masses could flourish. As deluded as the WEF, but in an entirely different way.

  29. PieInTheSky

    OK I’m going back to reason who’s with me?

    • Ownbestenemy

      *lights pitchfork on fire* Can’t, my internet is down.

    • Brochettaward

      I don’t understand why so many people feel compelled to engage with Palin’s Buttplug. It’s like every comment thread is half people arguing with him, and then 25% spam bots telling you how you can make millions a month working from home without doing any actual work.

      • PieInTheSky

        The comments are unreadable I can never tell what is going one and there rarely is a conversation. Just very aggressive insults hurled left and right. But as long as the writers are happy.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Would you rather, engage with the plug or ENB?

      • Q Continuum

        ENB as long as it’s strictly my penis engaging with her anus. And she’s gagged so she can’t say anything stupid.

      • Not Adahn

        I’d bet you could get a lot of depth with her being assless and all.

        /this is why Tulip left

      • Brochettaward

        I mean, arguing with ENB may be futile and mind numbing, but at lest you could argue there is some purpose to it. She has some small, even almost immeasurable, impact on the real world and a larger influence probably on Reason itself if you are inclined to follow it.

        Palin’s Buttplug is a wackjob who gets off on attention who employs like a dozen sock puppet accounts to stir shit up. I do recall posting at Reason and the Dunphy or Dumphy account, whatever the name was, responding to itself. It went largely unnoticed but it was clear as day. The cunt forgot to log out of their account and log into the other one to respond to himself.

      • PieInTheSky

        how do you know so much of Palin’s Buttplug

      • Not Adahn

        And don’t forget Tulpa/Rollo. I’d bet money they also run the Reverend whatisface at Volokh, which made things odd when they moved to Reason.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    The artwork is experienced in a room and involves sound and video to narrate the death of a star. The installation opened at the New York Public Library on December 6 but will be moved to Colorado College at some point in 2023.

    My alma mater. Go Tigers!

    Go fuck yourselves; that used to be a good school.

    • UnCivilServant

      People should be encouraged to exterminate the pigeons.

    • AlexinCT

      The Pidgeon McNugget industry strikes back…

    • Not Adahn

      Pigeons are a protected species in Italy. Italy has a national law that makes it illegal to harm, kill or capture any wild bird, including pigeons. Pigeons are also protected in the E.U. under the Birds Directive.

      But of course they are.

      • juris imprudent

        Stool pigeons are probably exempted.

      • rhywun

        So there are no windmills in Europe, I guess.

    • PieInTheSky

      just one?

      • PieInTheSky

        I been to Italy. there is a fuckton.

      • R.J.

        He didn’t even directly kill the pigeon. Allegedly a camera dolly ran over one of the dullards, which just sat there as it was crushed. The title makes it seem like he strangled a pigeon after a drunken debauchery.

      • R C Dean

        “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”

      • R.J.

        And why did Bay allow anyone to have a phone on set? I would never allow anyone to have a phone or recording device on set.

    • Brochettaward

      I’m all for the incarceration of Michael Bay.

    • Sean

      Birds aren’t real.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Please tell me he blew it up.

      • R.J.

        If only. A summarization of the incident is above.

    • DrOtto

      If this is how they get him for ‘Pearl Harbor’ so be it.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    ,em>People should be encouraged to exterminate the pigeons.

    Indeed

  32. Not Adahn

    I paid two of my tax bills over the weekend. Three more to go.

    • PieInTheSky

      how very unlibertarian. did you at least include some stern words for the government?

      • Not Adahn

        Oh yes. I used a paper check so there was a comments field.

        I also noticed that they accept credit cards, with a fee of 2.45% of your tax bill.

        That has to be the dumbest service ever offered. Worse than lottery tickets.

      • dbleagle

        “But I get points!” yell the economically challenged.

  33. juris imprudent

    Noting the absence of TPTB, thank you all for getting us back up and running.

  34. Not Adahn

    Question for linguist glibs:

    Do Theodore and Dorothy mean the same thing, or is the loves/loved by thing switched in them?

    • rhywun

      🤯

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Last night, watching that football game, I kept hearing Tom Brady in my head saying, “I’m going to keep playing until it’s not fun anymore.”

  36. PieInTheSky

    Speaking of Italy, in local news, a romanian woman was seriously injured in Italy when a suicidal 80 year old italian women jumped from the third floor and landed on the romanian.

    • Not Adahn

      I knew Italians hated gypsies, but that’s a bit extreme.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    I also noticed that they accept credit cards, with a fee of 2.45% of your tax bill.

    *jaw drops*

    • Raven Nation

      My DMV does the same thing. They do go to great pains to explain that this is a fee charged by the cc vendor they use.

    • rhywun

      flight attendants asked the passengers seated near him not to eat foods that might endanger him

      OFFS!

      These people need to nut up.

      • WTF

        Seriously, fuck you, I’ll eat what I want, your issues are not my problem.

      • R.J.

        And pay up. You need that level of care, pay extra for it. Don’t make other people pay for it.

      • Penguin

        Srsly. The rest of us have to live in a shell because you mom kept you away from peanuts when you were 2?

    • R.J.

      Jeez. Airlines make people pay for over weight bags. Just charge for seat sterilizing too. It’s that easy. Just monetize it.

    • PieInTheSky

      American so weak killed by peanut

    • WTF

      Oh, fuck off, you hyper-sensitive entitled assholes. I’m sick of this idea that the entire world has to bend over backwards to accommodate whatever special circumstance you have or claim to have. This shit is firmly in the category of “it’s not a me problem, it’s a you problem”.

      • rhywun

        That ship sailed when ADA was enacted.

      • WTF

        Which the Federal government has absolutely no constitutional authority to do.

    • DrOtto

      Unless it’s Southwest and I pick my seat, I have zero intent in boarding until that fucker is ready to fly. What purpose does early boarding serve but to become uncomfortable for longer?

      • Sensei

        Access to overhead storage that isn’t full.

      • WTF

        ^This. Otherwise they’ll end up gate checking your carry-on.

    • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

      I was on a flight last year and the jet bridge had some kind of wasp or yellow jacket nest. One of the fuckers got into the cabin. One of the pilots came back and trapped it in the overhead light bar with some duct tape.

      The guy in front of me was getting panicky because he is allergic and left his Epipen on his gate-checked carry-on, even though everyone who gates-checks is told to remove any necessary medications. I was sure the motherfucker would delay our flight while they removed his bag from the belly so he could get his necessary emergency medication that he failed to remove.

      The wasp eventually figured a way out of its trap, landed on the arm of my seat, and I smacked it with the in flight magazine with extreme prejudice.

      Then everyone applauded.

      • Tres Cool

        Ive been on flights before where we’ve carried along a fly or two from the departure.
        Ive always wondered what it thinks when we land at our destination, thousands of miles from home.

    • The Other Kevin

      I mostly fly for hockey trips, and most of our party boards early because it takes handicapped people forever to get on a plane. Especially when you don’t pick your seats and they put you in the back row. We do not need any more people boarding early.

      • Brochettaward

        Your privilege blinds you to the plight of those with peanut allergies.

  38. PieInTheSky

    Bad news for sushi fans: Eating just one freshwater fish such as salmon a YEAR is equal to a month of drinking water laced with ‘forever chemicals’ linked to cancer, study warns

    Perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) have been found in US fish
    One freshwater fish has the same level of PFAS as a month’s worth of water 
    PFAS are linked to health conditions and can take thousands of years to degrade
    Supermarket fish contains less PFAS, but is not available to all US communities

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-11640811/Eating-one-freshwater-fish-YEAR-equal-drinking-water-PFAS-month-study-warns.html

    Fishing glibs DO NOT EAT THE FISH. FOREVER chemicals

    • juris imprudent

      Ah yes, EWG. The ones you can send water samples to for analysis. I intend to send them a sample from the spring in our place in VA, so they can tell me how bad real, natural water is.

    • robodruid

      Just trying to figure the scope of our PFAS contamination is going to kill me. I’m managing 5 different contracts on this right now.
      No one really appreciated the scale of how many industries use these chemicals. They even use it in concrete.

    • Gustave Lytton

      freshwater fish such as salmon

      🤦‍♂️

      Supermarket fish contains less PFAS, but is not available to all US communities

      Not available? I’m thinking two sorts of locations: wealthy communities where the market for farmed is nil and Indian tribes with fishing rights(*) where fish are essentially free

      *except those sold to the public privately or wholesale

    • Tres Cool

      “Do you enjoy Kipling?”
      “Not sure. Ive never Kippled.”