Apology
The website administrators are so desperate for content that they’ve agreed to serialize some stuff I wrote 20 years ago. It does have a libertarian theme although that won’t be apparent for a few installments.
I’m hopelessly proud of it despite the increasing amount of sophomoricness it’s acquired over the years. Certainly I haven’t changed any in that time.
Back then I did have a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup in the Town Restaurant every day. I still occupy the off-the-grid one room log cabin but it really only takes 80 minutes to hike the four miles into town.
A talented cousin did the illustrations. If you want to commission something from him let me know.
Introduction
Although it may not be obvious to the casual observer, the population of the State of Vermont can be sorted into two distinct types:
- Those people whose families have lived in Vermont since it was settled and whose family folklore includes tales of the great Republic of Vermont, when Vermont was an Independent Country, and who have never quite forgiven Ethan Allen for agreeing to join the Union despite all of his other fine accomplishments. These people, who will subsequently be referred to as “Native Vermonters”, are hardy and hard working, straightforward and straight talking, and are the foundation of everything that makes Vermont great. They are also almost, but not quite, completely invisible in the current Vermont landscape.
- Everyone else, who will subsequently be referred to as “Flatlanders.” Flatlanders are sometimes called “New Yorkers” by older Native Vermonters.
Vermont has always had a population of Flatlanders: those who’ve moved to Vermont from somewhere else because Vermont “is such a nice place.” In recent years those who pay attention to the media might conclude that Flatlanders have taken over the entire State. It is true that important Towns like Montpelier (the State capital) and Burlington (a self-styled major metropolitan city) are almost, but not quite, exclusively populated by Flatlanders.
Native Vermonters quite sensibly regard the current large numbers of Flatlanders to be a temporary phenomenon and have the attitude of “This Too Shall Pass.” Like mud season. They know that as soon as it appears to the Flatlanders that Vermont has somehow, despite all their progressive efforts, become “just like everywhere else”, they will move away in droves. Perhaps leaving behind a few people, who might after a few generations be considered “Newcomers” to Vermont by the Natives and occupy that wide gray area between the two solitudes, so to speak.
This book reveals for the first time the true History of Vermont as maintained by Native Vermonters. When the influx of Flatlanders started to become chronic Native Vermonters agreed in a series of Town Meetings to conceal some of the more interesting episodes of Vermont History by the simple and expedient method of denying knowledge of any such thing and implying that the questioner was a few cows short of a herd. This tactic was incredibly successful and centuries of Vermont History were hidden this way. The truth of this remarkable assertion can be demonstrated at any time by finding an older person in Vermont (Flatlanders without exception move to Florida once their joints reach a certain age and temperature.) and asking that person whether he or she has heard of the events described in this book. The answer will invariably be “No.” followed by something on the order of “What’s the weather like on the planet you come from?”
How did the author, who moved to Vermont from California, learn of this secret history? The answer is that he inadvertently acquired two undeniable attributes of Native Vermontership as follows:
- He purchased property in a Town in which the terrain goes uphill in both directions. (Admittedly this is not a difficult feat in Vermont.)
- He built and occupied a one-room log cabin with just a wood stove and without utility power for an entire Vermont winter (11.5 months). Actually he did this for two entire Vermont winters in a row but no one noticed because it’s extremely difficult for anyone, even Native Vermonters, to determine when one Vermont winter ends and the next one begins.
One day after walking uphill (of course) in the snow for hours into Town for a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup the other people in the Town Restaurant began to talk about strange events in his presence. After several more days of walking uphill (of course) in the snow for hours into Town for a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup the author began to piece together the incredible Secret History of Vermont.
Why is the author willing to reveal these incredible truths? The answer is that if he publishes a book and someone actually buys it then all those breakfasts become tax-deductible as a research expense. Free food! Everyone has their price when it comes to betraying deep secrets. That’s mine.
This makes no sense, New York isn’t any flatter than Vermont.
it has a flatter soul. Or brain.
I think the terminology comes from an Ethan Allen quote referring to New York:
“The gods of the valley are not the gods of the hills.”
I had assumed that newcomers in general settled in the flat lands of Vermont and hence the name, but I don’t know vermont geography
Vermont doesn’t have much flat land:
https://www.glibertarians.com/2021/11/wither-vermont-origins-geography-is-everything/
I thought it came from Larry Niven to describe somebody who grew up on Earth or at the bottom of a similar gravity well.
It’s because Kyrie Irving once came to Vermont while he was playing for the New York/Jersey Nets.
I’m intrigued.
Looking forward to it!
I wasn’t with the headline, but was after reading the introduction.
Wonderful, Richard!
…and who have never quite forgiven Ethan Allen for agreeing to join the Union despite all of his other fine accomplishments.
Like furniture?
Ethan Allen Interiors Inc. is an American furniture chain with about 300 stores across the United States, Canada, Europe, the Middle East and Asia. It was founded in 1932 by two brothers-in-law, Nathan S. Ancell and Theodore Baumritter.
My son is named after Ethan Allen and Ethan Edwards.
Allen was a real person who fought in the Revolutionary War.
Edwards is John Wayne in The Searchers who is a bitter clinging bigot.
Huzzah!
So you named him Ed Allen?
Sure. Whatever you want.
🍿
Looking forward to it!
So far in my travels, NY has better cheese and beer but VT has better apples and butter.
how about goose farms?
I don’t know of any goose farms. There are a lot of goat farms.
When I started living in my cabin a family along the hike into town had some free-range geese that didn’t like rare pedestrians. I had more problems with them than with dogs.
Gold Shaw Farm is a popular youtube channel though they get most revenue from youtube not farming. And their main activity is goose farming.
The Cabot Creamery is very progressive Vermont but they do make some good cheese:
https://cabotcreamery.com/
Vermont is always near the top of the list for number of breweries per capita. The Alchemist puts out some pretty amazing stuff:
https://alchemistbeer.com/
They do, but they also started the NEIPA trend which has become overbearing.
silly Americans good cheese comes from Europe
I think you need to look at a map. Wisconsin isn’t in Europe.
Are you even allowed to use unpasteurized milk for cheese?
Yes, we just cant legally import it.
Don’t think we can sell it across state lines.
Even if you’re Amish.
Yes, but you can only buy it at the place of production.
Cabot is inconsistent mass-market style cheese.
This, OTOH is fantastic:
https://www.vermontcreamery.com/collections/cultured-butter
These VT cheesemakers used to be amazing, but they had a listeria infection, had to destroy everything, and haven’t been as good since:
https://www.considerbardwellfarm.com/
VT has Hill Farmstead.
That makes up for many beer inadequacies the state otherwise has.
If you’ve got the skillz to be a professional tweeterer for WaPo, you’ll be eminently qualified for a job in retial sales . Tee Hee.
Paywalled
well journalists need to earn money too you freeloader
mailinator can be your friend
Paywall.
Possible workaround
https://t.co/T7yOsl3LZ5
Good for her.
First day for the pistol brace amnesty. I’m thinking single digit compliance.
Or is that too optimistic?
You didn’t specify which side of the decimal point.
Sub one percent would be awesome!
We agree!
/ATF raid goons
Were there raids for bump stocks?
I can’t find one, but it’s been a nice additional felony charge for both the ATF and local police.
https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdtx/pr/houston-man-charged-first-known-case-bump-stock-ban
why do you need a pistol brace?
What’s need got to do with anything?
Jeder nach seinen Fähigkeiten, jedem nach seinen Bedürfnissen
I’m sorry, I don’t speak foreign.
I sounds better in the original german
You mean it’s not “The Bill of Needs”?
ADA compliance, duh.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Finally bit the bullet and pulled the trigger on a red dot purchase for something actually mountable on a gun I own.
Pistol or rifle?
Field ordinance.
He was having trouble getting on target with howitzers.
Pistol. I’m working the Carry Optic Nationals, which means I get to shoot the Carry Optic Nationals, which means I need a gun with an optic on it. Fortunately, I have a duplicate of my primary competition gun with an OR slide.
Nice! I just booked my vacation for Nats. Hope I get in…
FYI: speedshooter.com had the dot for less than the manufacturer direct, AND they didn’t charge sales tax.
Hey, I didn’t even think – are you okay on extendos, for when you get out to Ohio? If you need to borrow some, let me know. I have like thirty.
Woo hoo! I’ll definitely need some.
I was actually wondering whether to try and have some shipped to the hotel or reserve some at a LGS.
I did buy a mag gauge, since the ones that came with my OR have longer base pads than a standard CZ75.
Also, my birthday is that weekend. Any Glibs in the area, let’s meet up for a party/victory celebration.
I’m just a couple hours north, but Punk in Drublic is also that weekend down in the area.
The match venue is also an hour north of Columbus proper, which gives rise to some interesting possibilities…
I’m looking for a tube extension kit for my 1301 Comp Pro. The Toni kit is backordered.
Have you tried Nordic Components?
I put a red dot on my Ruger PC9. I liked it. But, I am going to replace it with a scope and move the red dot to my shotgun.
So, you are hiring a south Asian hooker?
Not until I lose another 20 pounds or so.
I have a cousin who moved to Vermont from NYC about 40 years ago, so I guess she qualifies as a flatlander. Some time ago on Derpbook she was going on about gun control and how we needed stricter gun control and serious restrictions etc. etc. because guns made us all unsafe under the current rules, the typical lefty ranting. I pointed out that she lived in a state where people could legally carry guns without a license, and asked if she felt unsafe in Vermont. She didn’t reply, she just blocked me.
I like it when people move somewhere and immediately want to change everything. I remember when french hipsters were moving to the countryside and complaining about roosters making noise in the morning disturbing their sleep and wanted them banned. Or the American woman who moved to rural Switzerland and tried to have cow bells banned.
I loved the cowbells when I lived there.
but what if they annoy the poor cows?
We all know it is about the rich cows.
Was the problem that the Swiss made fat American newcomers wear bells?
Classic lefty logic.
In that vein, I was hanging around Freddie DeBoers joint* yesterday, and I kept trying to point out that so many of them go all “I am taking my toys and leaving” as soon as someone disagrees with them. Dang, if that didn’t get them all riled up. They have started playing See No Evil… so badly that they have no idea about any dissenting thought.
In other words, they are going to fall pretty soon.
*https://freddiedeboer.substack.com/p/of-course-drag-isnt-dangerous-its
Show me a church that failed by being zealous about it’s dogma.
Zoroastrians.
Were they ever really that zealous?
People’s Temple?
Heaven’s Gate?
I thought Islam offered them the convert-or-die option?
The Shakers?
Abstinence does make the congregation fade away.
That one run by Nancy Pelosi’s old pal Jim Jones.
This seems to be a standard response for the Left. Years ago, a Usenet buddy of mine posted the following as explanation of this:
Seems about right, but I don’t actually assume liberals are stupid, just ignorant or misinformed. I am always willing to give whatever arguments and reasoning they have a fair listen, but they can’t handle having their beliefs challenged with contradictory facts or logic, and most of their “reasoning” tends to be arguments from emotion.
You are denying the truth of my faith.
They just care more.
“Liberals see incivility as a virtue
when dealing with those whom they sophomorically see as incorrigibly evil.”Fixed that for you.
Judge blocks New Jersey from banning guns in more ‘sensitive locations’
NJ is still a shithole. News at 11.
Why yes it is. And PA is doing its best to learn all the wrong things from it.
It is certainly making me look at other alternatives for retirement unfortunately.
You’re not wrong. I still have some hope, but only if we get our elections less fucked…
Once again NJ demonstrates how to ignore election law.
Torricelli‐to‐Lautenberg: Perverting the Rule of Law
Pennsylvania should be two states.
We just need to give Philly to NJ.
No thanks. We’ve already got Camden.
what bit of NJ do you want in exchange? Keep in mind you need to make the salaries match.
Too bad we can’t hold those jackasses personally liable for depriving people of their constitutional rights.
Stricter gun control. That will definitely prevent murderous assholes from murdering. They wouldn’t want to break a gun control law.
I’ve been looking At Washington State gun laws. Better than expected!!
NY banned carrying guns in churches. Because that violates neither the 2nd nor the 1st Amendments.
In their response to being sued, they claimed that banning guns in houses of worship was necessary because attacks on said HoW are becoming more frequent.
Somehow this is not seen as an admission they want higher body counts.
Washington, like Oregon, were some of the least restrictive laws up until recently. That is changing very quickly.
Yes, but in the eastern part, law enforcement is openly defying the capitol.
It’s meaningless “won’t enforce it” from the more rural sheriffs here. Meaningless in that they won’t stop the state police from enforcing it and I bet that if they have some scum bucket felon, they’ll be happy to add that charge onto it.
Meanwhile in New Hampshire, Town Wants Mural Torn Down Because it Shows … Donuts
Because it might attract too many cops?
CWAA – there are three people in that office.
Free State Project!
Shut up loser, those are the rules and rules are rules. Now tear it down, paint over it, or get fined and have your license revoked if you refuse to pay. You damn rule breakers make me want to puke.
Yeah, they should hand over the dough or face the consequences.
We used to refer to red cars as cop magnets, but this gives whole (hole?) new meaning to that term.
Follow a Vermonter’s example
Much better than driving a homemade tank through town.
Nice.
Once I leave my job and move, I hope I never live where somebody has a say in what I have on my property.
Come on up! The weather is fine*!
*for a few months.
You spelled “weeks” wrong.
I have seen a picture of your BBQ grill in winter.
I may still not be deterred.
Although I may be able to get some land here in TX or OK cheaply. It’s not all gone. Just the land near cities.
A possible solution (I don’t necessarily endorse) would be to have the students come back and paint Welcome to Conway on the sign.
Portraiture of the petty tyrants (with no taste)?
Paint an advert for the business across the street instead of his.
Then have the business across the street paint and advert for the donut shop. Problem solved.
Oh, both of them should have an unflattering depiction of the local code enforcer somewhere on the signs.
Yes!
*Richard complains his early work is sophomoric
R.J.: “Hold my bourbon, bro!”
New Yorkers call it “soft serve”.
I’m toying with the idea of a review series on the various military proving grounds in the US from a civilian / mercenary perspective.
Unfortunately not much in the way of photos, and some of the best stories cross into classified territory, but I’ll kick it around in outline form and see if I can make something interesting out of it.
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AbleIcyCirriped-size_restricted.gif
Sounds interesting. And I’m told classified doesn’t mean what it once did.
It means “Acceptable for Distribution to University Donors”
Oof.
https://twitter.com/oldbaldgoon/status/1620501427851497472
I am having trouble understanding the context meme. Is it just me?
Blue/White flag is associated with police
So videos of police beatings required “context”.
Bootlickers always talk about “context” when faced with evidence of police misconduct. Like Dunphy’s “totality of circs”
Ah. True there is no telling what he did prior. But he did surrender with hands in the air. That’s context enough?
Here’s the context. While I agree cops need to be held to a higher standard…this one is tough.
Look if homeboy was trying to fight and not clearly surrendering, sure it would be tough. That is two cops pissed he shot at them and they know they would have a harder time with “context” if they just execute him but know some swift kicks to the head can be whisked away as “context”.
He just tried to kill them 30 seconds prior. Exactly how level headed you think you’d be in that situation?
And I’m not defending the bullshit “context” argument always tossed out if that’s what you’re implying by scare quoting it in your reply. I’m just saying I don’t know if I also wouldn’t give homeboy a kick or two after he just tried to kill me.
You get a free pass in my book. The cops don’t.
“Once used, physical force must be discontinued when resistance ceases or when the incident is under control.”
Their rules, not mine. Get rid of qualified immunity and I might be inclined to give them a little more leeway. Until then, they’re just mafia with the protection of the law.
STOP RESISTING!!!
KILL ALL THE PIGS!!!
I don’t give a fuck that he shot their car minutes before.
Here is an unarmed man, on the ground, covered by two men with weapons. The blows to the head are wrong. These are “professionals” with training in high-stress situations.
Strip away qualified immunity and prosecute the fuckers.
Supposedly, yes. Time to start firing the people who signed off on letting cops like this on the street. You don’t see much of that. Seems like once the individual cops are punished (if they are) the media moves on and their superiors keep on keeping on.
Oh and a big 🙄 for “shot their car”. Reminds me of “the gun discharged”.
Congratulations to the idiots in DC are in order.
https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/russia-and-iran-launch-payment-system-alternative-swift
AXIS OF EVIL!!!!
French protests intensify against pension age rise
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-64463330
Mr Macron’s government is pushing ahead with its pension age reforms in the face of opinion polls that suggest two-thirds of voters are opposed to the changes – off course voter approval changes the nature of reality
In France, very few workers have personal pensions linked to capital investments, but there are now only 1.7 workers paying into the shared pension fund per person in retirement. – all good ponzi schemes come to an end…
Peaceful protests intensify?
As long as it isn’t too much work.
https://ktar.com/story/5428524/arizona-secretary-of-state-fontes-calls-for-investigation-into-kari-lake-over-election-signatures/
I’d be less skeptical if there wasn’t this dog piling to punish Lake.
They’re sending a message. The message is “Don’t even think about challenging the sanctity of our democracy by contesting an election.”
Charging her would be an in-kind campaign donation.
Oh, lookee here, another Twitter wannabe:
Spill currently employs fewer than 10 people and has three strategic advisors, including former Twitter design chief Dantley Davis, #OscarsSoWhite creator and DEI advocate April Reign and civil rights activist DeRay Mckesson.
I am totally fine with nimrods sinking their money into black holes like that. Keeps then from funding anything truly dangerous like commies running for senate.
There Aint No Such Thing As Free
LunchBreakfast!Free to me, paid for by the taxpayers. See also, all green technologies.
The first rule of The Secret History of Vermont is, you don’t talk about The Secret History of Vermont.
When I look at Richard’s avatar I am reminded of harpsicord music. I’ll have to play some when I read the next installment.
Thanks for writing. Sometimes digging deep turns up some interesting stuff.
Vermont always evokes chamber music for me. Probably because my dad used to bring me to concerts all the time when I was growing up there. And I was in the junior varsity (as it were) of the Vermont Youth Orchestra.
I’ll have to play some when I read the next installment.
You play the harpsichord?
No, that is one talent I do not have. But I’m sure I can find some on YouTube, or maybe find a Benny Hill skit with some.
Alexa, why is AI porn a thing?
https://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/1620491474361270273
How to communicate “I’ll divorce you later and take all your shit.”
https://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/1620499328795303937
I WAS LIED TO
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
·
42m
All I can say is “thank you, Stockholm Syndrome”
Yeah, that caught my eye, too!
31 years, baby!
Damn.
I love the internet!
lulz