Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – So Now Do You Want Me?

by | Jan 4, 2023 | Daily Links | 180 comments

We make gibberish the old fashioned way, straight from the dementia patient to you, the consumer of nonsense.


 

I mean, you could probably pull this off, if you could really commit to the concept. But how does he give birth? It is a butt-baby? Isn’t that just taking a giant Red Baron Supreme Pizza shit?


 

Happy New Year, and Happy New January Sci-Fi, Horror, and Fantasy Books

I REVIEW FOR YOU

 

Back in a Spell by Lana Harper
When a lonely witch decides to take a chance on romance, a disastrous first date sparks an unexpectedly magical connection. (January 3)

Witch Romance Nope

 

A Ruinous Fate by Kaylie Smith
A young woman who’s been keeping her powerful magic hidden—while trying to outrun her powerful destiny—undertakes a dangerous quest into an enchanted forest, where she’ll have to decide if risking everything is worth it. (January 3)

Her Powerful Magic Hidden Nope

 

Song of Silver, Flame Like Night by Amélie Wen Zhao
In this tale inspired by ancient Chinese mythology and folklore, a girl living in a recently conquered kingdom meets a magician who helps her awaken her own secret magical gifts. (January 3)

Secret Magical Gifts Nope

 

The Stolen Heir by Holly Black
The author returns to her world of Elfame with this first entry in a new duology. It follows a runaway queen who must team up with the prince she was once betrothed to and undertake a monster-fighting quest. Read an excerpt here. (January 3)

Runaway Queen Nope

 

The Thing in the Snow by Sean Adams
Three caretakers and a scientist working in an isolated research institute are startled one day by the appearance of an unidentifiable object in the snow—a frozen mystery that soon becomes an obsession for everyone. (January 3)

Maybe. Although it sounds like The Thing. (Upon reading further, it appears to also be a workplace comedy.)

 

Unseelie by Ivelisse Housman
An “autistic changeling left in the human world by the fae as an infant” teams up with her twin sister on a heist gone wrong, and finds she’ll need to tap into her magic powers to save them both. (January 3)

Autistic Changeling Nope

 

Vamps: Fresh Blood by Nicole Arend
A half-human, half-vampire finds life at a Swiss boarding school for elite vampire kids more perilous than he’d realized. (January 3)

Vampire Boarding School Nope

 

Burrowed by Mary Baader Kaley
In a future where a plague has divided humanity into people who live underground as well as on the surface, a brilliant young woman emerges from her subterranean world hoping to help heal the world—but instead, she’s drawn into the race to save an imperiled humankind from total extinction. (January 10)

No, Just No

 

Cool. Awkward. Black. edited by Karen Strong
“This multi-genre YA anthology celebrates ‘the geek,’ with stories by some of today’s top bestselling, critically acclaimed Black authors.” Contributors include Contributors include Tracy Deonn, Jordan Ifueko, Tochi Onyebuchi, K. Arsenault Rivera, Ibi Zoboi, and many more. (January 10)

Not Made For Me Nope

 

The Dark Ascension Series: The Wicked Ones by Robin Benway
Cinderella’s stepsisters tell their story in this first in a new series focusing on Disney’s most famous villains. Read an excerpt here. (January 10)

Cinderella’s Stepsisters Nope. Fucking Wicked.

 

The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai
In this first book in a new duology, a young aristocrat and a bookshop worker form a surprising bond over their struggle for women’s rights—as well as their shared gift of forbidden magic. (January 10)

Struggle For Women’s Rights Nope

 

Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett
A socially awkward college professor and faerie expert travels to a small village for research purposes—where she clashes with an academic rival while digging into magical secrets. Read an excerpt here. (January 10)

Faerie Nope

 

Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo
The sequel to Ninth House finds Alex and Dawes launching a plan to break Darlington out of purgatory, requiring deep dives into ancient texts and secret societies, as well as battling monsters. (January 10)

So tired.

 

Liar, Dreamer, Thief by Maria Dong
This surreal, genre-bending novel follows a woman whose world crumbles when the co-worker she’s unhealthily obsessed with dies by suicide. (January 10)

Philip K. Dick probably did it better.

 

Lost in the Moment and Found by Seanan McGuire
The Hugo and Nebula-winning Wayward Children series continues with an exploration of the “Shop Where Lost Things Go,” a place both wonderful and dangerous. (January 10)

I like most of her books, but she also has a track record of abandoning series, so I’ll wait until it is done.

 

Rebel, Brave and Brutal by Shannon Dittemore
Billed as Mad Max: Fury Road meets Frozen, this sequel to Winter, White and Wicked follows rig driver Sylvi as she undertakes a dangerous journey across land and sea, aiming to use her icy magic to help the rebellion. (January 10)

Mad Max: Fury Road meets Frozen Nope and a what the fuck is this shit even?

 

Unraveller by Frances Hardinge
In this dark YA fantasy, a young man with the power to remove curses must figure out what to do when he himself falls under a dangerous spell. (January 10)

In This Dark YA Fantasy Nope

 

Waking Fire by Jean Louise
“This incendiary YA fantasy debut follows a girl who will stop at nothing to save her village after it’s discovered by a dangerous warlord and his army of undead monsters.” (January 10)

Incendiary YA Fantasy Nope

 

We Are All So Good at Smiling by Amber McBride
A girl being treated for depression befriends her neighbor after realizing how much they have in common—including a fascination and fear of the magical forest at the edge of their street. (January 10)

Can’t decide. Smells like feminist nonsense.

 

Another Dimension of Us by Mike Albo
Teens in 1986 and 2044 forge a connection across the astral plane thanks to strange nightmares and an even stranger self-help book about interdimensional travel. (January 17)

Donnie Darko meets Frequency Nope

 

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix
After her parents die, a woman reluctantly returns to her hometown to help her brother wrap up their affairs—including selling the family home, which has its own surprising ideas about being put on the market. (January 17)

Hendrix doesn’t write truly great horror, but I’ll try this one.

 

Karma of the Sun by Brandon Ying Kit Boey
As the end of the world looms amid a nuclear winter, a young Tibetan man heads into the Himalayas trying to find his missing father—and realizes there may be a magical way to fix the future. (January 17)

Climate Change Nope

 

The Keeper’s Six by Kate Elliott
In this tale, “a world-hopping, badass, spell-slinging mother sets out to rescue her kidnapped adult son from a dragon lord with everything to lose.” (January 17)

Mary Sue Nope

 

Mr. Breakfast by Jonathan Carroll
A failed comedian nursing a broken heart embarks on a cross-country road trip—and along the way, gains the ability to see three different versions of the life he could be leading. (January 17)

Sliding Doors Nope

 

Mysteries of Thorn Manor by Margaret Rogerson
This novella, a sequel to Sorcery of Thorns, finds librarian Elisabeth, sorcerer Nathaniel, and demon companion Silas trying to escape the spell that’s keeping them confined within Thorn Manor. (January 17)

Thorn Manor Nope

 

Please Report Your Bug Here by Josh Riedel
A recent college grad is excited about his new gig working for a dating app—until he realizes the tech world is a grind. Things get even more chaotic when he tries out the app and it transports him to another world. (January 17)

Maybe. Mostly surprised that a book with a male protagonist got published.

 

Queen Among the Dead by Lesley Livingston
Celtic legends and folktales inspire this fantasy adventure about a warrior princess who sets out to become the first queen of Ireland. (January 17)

Warrior Princess Nope

 

Swift the Storm, Fierce the Flame by Meg Long
An agent who’s turned on the corporation that brainwashed her heads to a dangerous, storm-engulfed jungle planet, teaming up with an unlikely ally to track down the friend who saved her life. (January 17)

Undecided. The cutesy title is not helping.

 

Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt
Previously published in the UK, this horror novel is now getting a U.S. release and is described as “an important and disruptive work of trans fiction from a trans author.” It’s about a woman who comes to regret spending one terrifying night in an abandoned house. (January 17)

OK, you’re worthless.

 

All Hallows by Christopher Golden
In this tale set in the suburbs on Halloween of 1984, young trick-or-treaters encounter a quartet of strange children warning them about a lurking menace they call “the Cunning Man.” (January 24)

Stranger Things Nope

 

Critical Mass by Daniel Suarez
“A group of pioneering astropreneurs must overcome never-before-attempted engineering challenges to rescue colleagues stranded at a distant asteroid—kicking off a new space race in which Earth’s climate crisis could well hang in the balance.” (January 24)

For “Astropreneurs” Alone Nope

 

The Endless Song by Joshua Phillip Johnson
The author’s Tales of the Forever Sea fantasy series—set in a world where ships use magic to sail across grass—continues with adventures, conflicts, and monsters both below and atop the planet’s surface. (January 24)

No, just no.

 

Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie
The crew of ghost-hunting reality show Fade to Black—including the husband-and-wife team that leads it—investigate a haunted mansion that once belonged to a paranormal research group, and discover horrors lurking in its abandoned rooms. (January 24)

Found Footage As A Novel Nope

 

Spice Road by Maiya Ibrahim
In an Arabian-inspired world ruled by secret magic, a 16-year-old warrior battles sand monsters and other perils while trying to track down her outlaw brother. (January 24)

Secret Magic Grrlpower Nope

 

Beyond the Burn Line by Paul McAuley
In this far-future tale, the intelligent bears who have been ruling the planet are felled by a terrible plague—leaving the remnants of humanity, who’ve been serving as their slaves, to figure out what’s next for Earth. (January 31)

Sounds pretty close to Mankind Under The Leash by Thomas M. Disch, but McAuley has put out pretty good work in the past.

 

Blood Circus by Camila Victoire
In a future world ravaged by climate change and famine, where humanoid creatures called “Klujns” have become the dominant species, a 16-year-old human girl is taken hostage and forced into a deadly competition. (January 31)

Hunger Games Nope. And fuck all this climate change bullshit already.

 

Chain of Thorns by Cassandra Clare
In this Shadowhunters novel that caps off the Last Hours series, James and Cordelia must save both a demon-menaced London and their marriage. (January 31)

Shadowhunters Nope (The series began as Harry Potter fan-fiction, I mean fuck.)

 

The Drift by C.J. Tudor
As the world inches toward its end, three ordinary but significant people struggle to survive, and to help others around them survive, against seemingly insurmountable odds. (January 31)

Mmm… floor pie…

 

The Terraformers by Annalee Newitz
The latest from the io9 co-founder is about a terraformer who makes a startling discovery while working on a new planet . Read an excerpt here. (January 31)

io9 Nope

 

Threadneedle by Cari Thomas
The international bestseller about a city of magic hidden within London—and the young woman who gets to experience it—gets a U.S. release. (January 31)

Hidden Magic Nope

 

Vampire Weekend by Mike Chen
A lonely punk rock vampire who’s growing weary of her routine—“a lot of blood bags and night jobs”—finds a new reason to live the undead life when she meets a long-lost teenage relative. (January 31)

Punk Rock Vampire Nope


 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

180 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    I prefer authentic frontier gibberish.

  2. Rebel Scum

    “I’ll paraphrase the phrase of my old neighborhood: The rest of the countries, the world is not a patch in our jeans, if we do what we wanna do, we need to do.”

    Related.

    Biden: “Think about why the recession got so bad two years ago. Cars got so expensive.”

    And then he yells for some reason.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “We invented them for God’s sake!” If he was talking about automobiles, then he is lost as ever, but enough wiggle room since he mentioned microchips in the same sentence the WH press team can get him out of that.

      • Tundra

        The Germans would like a word.

      • Lackadaisical

        I understood it as microchips were invented by the US.

    • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

      The first car was a Mercedes, and the first electronic fuel injection (hint, needs a chip of some sort) was Mercedes also.

      • Count Potato

        The first electronic fuel injection was the Bendix Electrojector used in the AMC Rambler.

        The Bosch D-Jetronic (first used by VW) used in the first Mercedes with electronic fuel injection didn’t use chips. It’s ECU was analog using discrete transistors.

      • Seguin

        Beat me to it. Also, according to Wikipedia, the D-Jetronic was based on the Electrojector.

        It (the Electrojector) was also planned to be installed on the Plymouth Golden Commando.

      • Count Potato

        I don’t even think K-Jetronic used chips? The ECU was the size of a cigar box. I never looked inside.

      • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

        I stand corrected. But in my analog world, a cigar box full of transistors is a “chip”.

      • Timeloose

        A PCB full of discrete components is Electronic. You don’t have to have a IC to consider a system electronic.

      • Count Potato

        No one is saying that.

      • Timeloose

        I think we agree then.

        It seemed that there was some confusion over what constitutes a electronic fuel injection system.

        I also thought that Chrysler was the first to use EFI in a auto. They were all likely recalled however.

    • slumbrew

      I thought they were being unkind with that transcript so I listened to the video; that is indeed a faithful transcript.

      JFC

    • Lackadaisical

      He sounds like Trump… re: trade

  3. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    That Biden quote is sheer poetry.

    • EvilSheldon

      The sad thing is that I’m pretty sure I understand what he meant, and understanding makes it worse.

      • Pine_Tree

        Well, please try to translate then. I’m genuinely curious.

      • EvilSheldon

        Basically, “All you little eurofags and darkies can take your insignificant little countries and fuck off. This is America and we do what we want!”

      • Lackadaisical

        Agreed, although it takes a lot to translate it from Bidenese to get there.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Did he mean to say where am I?

  4. Count Potato

    “duology”

    Is that like a trilogy, but with 33% less effort?

    • SugarFree

      Should be like an old Ace Double, flip it over, turn it upside down, and read the immediate sequel.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Warty Hugeman and the Chamberpot of Horrors/Abbott and Costello Meet the Hat and the Hair?

        Bonus scratch and sniff and pop-up book.

      • SugarFree

        I feel seen.

  5. Shpip

    A young woman who’s been keeping her powerful magic hidden—while trying to outrun her powerful destiny—undertakes a dangerous quest into an enchanted forest, where she’ll have to decide if risking everything is worth it.

    This is pretty cool! Maybe we can add a few songs and call it, I dunno, Frozen or something.

  6. Rebel Scum

    I mean, you could probably pull this off, if you could really commit to the concept. But how does he give birth? It is a butt-baby? Isn’t that just taking a giant Red Baron Supreme Pizza shit?

    Some people just want to watch the world burn.

    • EvilSheldon

      The worst thing about the Nolan movies is how lame they made the Batcave. Nolan’s hamfisted direction is a distant second.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The lack of neon colors or the missing labels on top of each individual piece of equipment?

      • EvilSheldon

        This guy gets it.

        Seriously though, is an actual cave too much to ask for?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yep.

        When I saw it, I kept thinking “If Asimov’s Caves of Steel was ever turned into a movie, this is what I’d expect them to look like.

      • Timeloose

        Other than the second Nolan Batman movie he had an actual cave. There was a bat cave origin story from the first to the third movie.

    • Nephilium

      Well, there was a bit with Clayface’s arm on Harley Quinn…

    • one true athena

      What, you didn’t know Joker was trans all along?

      I think a comedy version of The Thing has a fun potential, at least. Someone’s trope generator was having fun that day.

      • Nephilium

        If that concept interests you, I would suggest you check out Freaky. Which is a body swap movie, with the two people being a high school cheerleader and a psychopathic serial killer.

      • kinnath

        I saw bits and pieces of that one night. Looked interesting, but I never went looking for it to watch again.

      • Nephilium

        It’s an entertaining horror/comedy. Same “universe” as the Happy Death Day movies, which were time loop horror comedies.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Vince Vaughn was pretty fucking convincing as the teenage girl in a serial killer’s body.

      • kinnath

        He was very good.

        I saw enough of the movie to spoil the story. So I have never made an effort to watch the whole thing.

        But I do remember being impressed with Vaughn.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It wasn’t in Joker the movie at least.

  7. Gustave Lytton

    Secret Magic Grrlpower Nope

    Still not over The Girl with the Silver Eyes?

    • SugarFree

      I’m more of a Firestarter guy. “You’ve got to burn it all down, Charlie.”

  8. Rebel Scum

    Bringing home the pork, I guess.

    But establishment Senate allies on Wednesday defended McConnell’s decision to work with Biden. Senate Minority Whip John Thune (R-SD) told Punchbowl News compromising with Democrats is a good idea.

    “In a time of divided government, you try and find things that you can do together,” he said about the infrastructure bill. “And at least for the both of them, this is an issue that they feel is a mutual accomplishment.”

    McConnell has also defended his enabling of Biden’s agenda.

    “I’m proud of my vote,” McConnell said, acknowledging the massive package was “extremely good for my state.”

    • juris imprudent

      He doesn’t have to believe he’s really serving his constituents, they’re the ones that have to believe it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I like this ji. This ji is laying down hard truths about what is driving American voters and what we want in our representatives.

    • The Other Kevin

      What was the compromise? They wanted a massive spending bill, and in exchange the Republicans gave them a massive spending bill?

      • Shpip

        What was the compromise?

        In exchange, the Democrats will pretend to care about the southern border for a little while before demanding a blanket amnesty and fast track to voter status citizenship.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Together they rammed that massive package right up America’s butthole.

      • Tonio

        Phrasing?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Seemed pretty transparent to me

      • Bobarian LMD

        Sideways, without lube or even a kiss.

    • juris imprudent

      Ah.

      Representative-elect Josh Brecheen of Oklahoma, one of the 20 holdouts, said “to obtain my support for Speaker, transformative rule changes that stop out of control spending and address our debt loading must occur.”

      Granted, he’s new, but you can’t stop spending with rules. There’s no magic, just votes.

  9. Tundra

    Man, does FoW make some amazing pop songs. Like a funnier Teenage Fanclub.

    Thanks for the book reviews. I’m so far behind my reading list that it’s nice to not add any!

    • SugarFree

      I use it as a sort anti-recommendation, like Slate’s movie reviews.

    • Pat

      Man, does FoW make some amazing pop songs.

      Knew this one when I saw the post title and blurb. Too bad about Adam Schlesinger.

      If you like Fountains of Wayne, you may like Lousy Robot. Strangely enough, they too broke up after the death of a band member.

      • Tundra

        Yeah, that was a bummer. He was only a couple months younger than me.

        Thanks for the recco – I’ll check them out.

  10. Fatty Bolger

    And fuck all this climate change bullshit already.

    Amen.

    • rhywun

      Seriously.

      This shit has been wrecking science fiction for decades already – wrap it up.

      • Nephilium

        Well, you could go back to the halcyon days of 1991.

      • slumbrew

        I suppose you could call that a climate change book…

      • rhywun

        I haven’t read that but it’s on my list.

      • slumbrew

        It’s not amazing – there are a lot of inside jokes, as I recall – but the premise is amusing.

      • Nephilium

        Yeah. From memory there was a lot of jokes based on sci-fi convention regulars, and several characters were named after people who won auctions or contests. At a minimum, it’s a light and quick read. Go back ten years, and Oath of Fealty is a much better novel (that also has environmentalists as the villains).

      • Timeloose

        I appreciate both, but Oath of Fealty was much better. Fallen Angels was as you indicated more of a fun mini-novel.

        Gassing greenies to death with nerve agents.

  11. pistoffnick

    …who’s been keeping her powerful magic hidden—…

    I tend to keep my, uhm, powerful magic hidden as well. They send me to jail and put me on a list when I take it out in public.

    • SugarFree

      Calling your penis “magic” doesn’t mean you can whip out your wand, bro.

      • Brett L

        I put on my wizard robe and hat

      • Homple

        It’s his Magic Johnson.

      • kinnath

        Paging Swiss

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t think Swiss is going to want to gaze on that.

  12. EvilSheldon

    Fairies are fine as long as they’re torturing and murdering people for fun.

    Cinderella’s stepsisters don’t belong anywhere but in porn. (Ask me about that time that I was asked to leave a Disney character dinner…)

    Too bad about Daniel Suraez. I hate to be that guy who says, ‘I’m a fan of your early work,’ but…

    • Ownbestenemy

      So about that time you were asked to leave a Disney character dinner…what was that about?

      • EvilSheldon

        Proposing a foursome with the Wicked Stepsisters was par for the course, but offering to fight Prince Charming for Cinderella was apparently over the line.

        I’m honestly surprised that they didn’t blacklist me from the park entirely.

      • SugarFree

        “We found this one swimming naked in the Fermentarium.”

      • Sean

        Go big or go home.

  13. R.J.

    I enjoyed the reviews. Might need more.

    • juris imprudent

      Sturgeon’s Law: “Ninety percent of [science fiction] is crud, but then, ninety percent of everything is crud.”

  14. Rebel Scum

    Aww….

    The black-footed cat is the deadliest wildcat in the world. Though they weigh only 2 – 6 pounds, they take down more prey in a single night than a leopard does in 6 months.

    • Rebel Scum

      Made me think of this for some reason: Kitty Amazing

    • slumbrew

      Adorable murderball.

    • slumbrew

      Speaking of wildlife, we had a big-ass coyote come running out from behind a house down the street and booked down the road.

      At first I’m like “oh, loose doggie… uh…”.

      Large and quite well-fed. First time I’ve seen one around here, although I’ve assumed they’d be coming around, given all the rabbits.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Coyote are probably better adapted to living amongst us than just about any other wild predator.

        They are all over the place but you hardly ever see them.

        They’re where a lot of missing pets end up.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve been thinking of the ‘missing cat’ posters I’ve seen around since seeing the coyote – city is a bad enough place as-is for outdoor cats…

        I’m assuming the coyote got spooked out of its resting place – there are 3 rental houses in a row there with unkept back yards. I suspect he(?) was laying low there during the day.

      • The Other Kevin

        I live in a more rural area now, but at my last house it was very suburban, and the coyotes knew when it was garbage night. You’d see a lot of them in the neighborhood then.

      • slumbrew

        This is “the city” – triple-deckers, not high-rise buildings, but very densely populated.

        Lots of greenery, though – pretty easy to get from here to Alewife Brook Reservation while keeping mostly to the bike paths. I’ve seen deer in there.

      • one true athena

        My hubs and I were waiting in our car for my kid’s golf lesson to finish, so we’ve got a view of the driving range in front of the car, and off to the left is one of the holes. A coyote walked into view, posed on the little hill by the hole, and then sauntered away. Exactly zero people at the driving range noticed, even though it was a sunny afternoon and the coyote was, maybe, fifty feet away. It felt like we were in a video game – it was so weird that only we seemed to see it at all.

    • R.J.

      That’s adorable.

  15. Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

    Mr. Breakfast by Jonathan Carroll
    A failed comedian nursing a broken heart embarks on a cross-country road trip—and along the way, gains the ability to see three different versions of the life he could be leading. (January 17)</em?

    Johnathon Carroll is usually pretty good. The Land of Laughs, Outside the Dog Museum, After Silence, and so on. I might check this one out, but, yeah, the rest are all nope crap.

    • Zwak, who has his own double cross to bear.

      And a closed tag goes a long way.

    • EvilSheldon

      This reminds me a little of the John Waters book Carsick.

  16. Ownbestenemy

    A lonely punk rock vampire who’s growing weary of her routine—“a lot of blood bags and night jobs”—finds a new reason to live the undead life when she meets a long-lost teenage relative.

    I am sure Scooby Doo did this

  17. Pat

    I’ll paraphrase the phrase of my old neighborhood: The rest of the countries, the world is not a patch in our jeans, if we do what we wanna do, we need to do.

    To the extent I can make that coherent, it almost sounds like that American exceptionalism that right-thinking people have been warning us about.

  18. DEG

    I’ll paraphrase the phrase of my old neighborhood: The rest of the countries, the world is not a patch in our jeans, if we do what we wanna do, we need to do.

    WTF?

    I watched the video. He didn’t slur any words.

  19. wdalasio

    For “Astropreneurs” Alone Nope

    It sounds like the execution is pretty awful, and I’m not a fiction guy, but I could see where a sci-fi story about business might be pretty entertaining. I mean, you could have land grabs on planets of people looking to make a fortune from settlement, interstellar trading firms that trade on different planets’ resources, companies that try to work out trade deals with aliens. Of course, I’m skeptical that something like that could get made today without the protagonists being treated like evil, awful exploiters of the oppressed universe.

    • Michael Malaise

      I have a pilot script for a series called Outer Worlds Inc. They do pretty much what you are describing but there is also another reason the business exists (Earth is basically seen as a mythical place where humans supposedly came from but no one actually remembers it so the leader of the team is also searching across the galaxy for remnants of humanity’s existence. Like, an Honus Wagner baseball card for instance)

      I am working with a producer on (it’s still a looooong shot) — it’s has a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe—fun and irreverent.

      • PutridMeat

        Sounds vaguely similar to Outer Worlds (video game). Well earth’s not mythical, just distant and out of contact. But it is a fun and irreverent game. If a bit repetitious after the first couple of hours.

      • CPRM

        Just bought that on sale from Steam last night.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah very much the game plot…almost. with a sprinkling of Battlestar Galactica in it

      • Michael Malaise

        Wild. I came up with the original thought in the 8th grade.

      • wdalasio

        Sounds like it’s a cool story. Hopefully it gets done.

  20. slumbrew

    Speaking of books, thank you to those of you who recommended the “Hap And Leonard” books – tore through the first one and immediately bought the second one.

    • Pat

      I’ve never read those. I guess you could say I am… Hapless.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I need to the read the books. The show left a lot wanting as I was digging the dynamics

      • slumbrew

        The banter between them reminds me of Spenser & Hawk, in a good way.

      • slumbrew

        I’ll need to dig up the shows, though I’ll always think “Gully!” when I see Purefoy.

        (I also have to acquire season 3 of Pennyworth)

    • Shpip

      When you get done with Lansdale (he’s terrific, IMO), you might want to look into Bill Fitzhugh. Fender Benders and The Organ Grinders are two of my favorites.

    • The Hyperbole

      You’re welcome, I warn you that after six or seven they start to get a bit repetitive. But Lansdale writes so well, it’s not as bad as some too-long running series. Most of his stand alone novels are excellent as well, particularly the westerns IMHO. The Thicket is probably my favorite.

      • slumbrew

        Thanks, both of you.

  21. rhywun

    Vampire Boarding School Nope

    This one has “hit new SyFy series” written all over it.

    • kinnath

      STARS, TV-MA. Then you might have something worth watching.

      • EvilSheldon

        So much bad sci-fantasy would turn downright readable, if the writers would just make outright porn out of it…

      • creech

        Probably. I remember a porn comic version of “Archie” that was much more interesting and entertaining than the commercial version.

      • R.J.

        Flesh Gordon is calling to you.

    • R.J.

      Sharknado Boarding School

      • Michael Malaise

        Pluto TV has an entire channel dedicated to the works of “The Aslyum” who is responsible for cinematic masterpieces like “Megashark vs. Giant Octopus and so forth. There have been SIX?? EIGHT Sharknado movies.

  22. Bobarian LMD

    Spoiler: Clayface is pissed at the Joker and is playing the long game to fuck with him.

    And they had the buttsecks. While Harley watched.

    • R.J.

      Meh.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Not as cool but fell down this rabbit hole of YT Shorts

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Together they rammed that massive package right up America’s butthole.

    Whenever I hear the phrase “bipartisan consensus” my ass starts to hurt.

  24. Certified Public Asshat

    Biden has a take on Damar Hamlin’s injury:“You've got guys that are 6'8, 340 pounds running a 4.8 40. If you hit somebody with that kinda force, now that's not what happened here, but I just think it’s, I don't know how you avoid it.” pic.twitter.com/8wHfQ2k2PZ— Greg Price (@greg_price11) January 4, 2023

    He’s full of wisdom today.

    • Bobarian LMD
    • creech

      Yeah, he said something to the effect that the GOP ought to be embarrassed because it couldn’t quickly pick a speaker. Yeah, Joe, how many primaries did the Dems have to hold before the fickle hand of fate pointed to you? It’s totally embarrassing that you were the best the Democrats could find to beat Trump.

  25. Michael Malaise

    The Endless Song by Joshua Phillip Johnson
    The author’s Tales of the Forever Sea fantasy series—set in a world where ships use magic to sail across grass—continues with adventures, conflicts, and monsters both below and atop the planet’s surface. (January 24)

    Just read Railsea by China Meiville already.

    • rhywun

      I prefer writers whose communism is a little less outspoken.

      • Michael Malaise

        Yeah, not a fan of his politics, but he’s written some good books.

    • CPRM

      set in a world where ships use magic to sail across grass

      ATVs?

      • juris imprudent

        Hovercraft?

  26. Pine_Tree

    It ain’t sci-fi, but it’s books, so this isn’t too far off-topic: I’d recommend Alan Bradley’s Flavia de Luce series for anybody who likes mysteries. The first one is The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie.

    The protagonist is an 11-yo English girl who’s a chemistry prodigy, living in post-WW2 England. Good stories, interesting writing, and surprisingly dark.

  27. rhywun

    Wow.

    Former US soccer star Claudio Reyna, wife exposed in alleged Gregg Berhalter World Cup blackmail scheme

    “Your kid isn’t good enough.”

    “OK, I’ll ruin your life.”

    • slumbrew

      Wow indeed.

      • rhywun

        I wonder if the kid knew what was going on.

        He was being awfully evasive throughout the whole affair.

    • juris imprudent

      Yep, Gio was a little shit – but got better. Berhalter was a moron for talking about it when/where he did. But it sounds like this was kicked over to USSF before Berhalter shot his mouth off, which means that soccer mommy and daddy weren’t striking back for that, but for Gio not being given his due. If it had been even just a little understandable for striking back after Berhalter put his foot in his mouth, it loses all justification if done before that.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Informational wild west

    The coming weeks will show if Musk will provide more tools to empower Twitter users to protect themselves or whether his company will simply leave it up to the users to distinguish between valid causes and manipulative ads. It could be that Twitter’s priority to expand public conversation depends on users relying on their own judgment. In November 2022, Twitter said its mission has always been to be the town square of the Internet, insisting that was only possible if everyone has “the power to create and share ideas and information, instantly without barriers.”

    Treat people like adults? That’s crazy,

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      We need more than the mute and block buttons?

    • R.J.

      Jeez I clicked on Ars Technica. I need some hand sanitizer now.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    One rino and it’s Speaker Jeffries? The back room promises must be flowing.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ahh, that’s if the remaining vote present. Jeffries would need to peel off 6 to gain the gavel.

      • Gustave Lytton

        On the other hand, 10 rinos voted for impeachment and another 4 didn’t vote.

      • Rat on a train

        Only 2 of the 10 returned.

    • Pat

      I almost wouldn’t mind seeing it. The agenda wouldn’t change much from a McCarthy speakership anyway and it might put the Republican “leadership” on notice.

  30. The Last American Hero

    While the plot summaries aren’t inspiring me to go out and buy these books, it’s the execution that matters. The plot summaries for a lot of great books sound downright silly when compressed into a couple sentences, and an absurd plot in the hands of a skilled storyteller can be amazing.

    • Count Potato

      A monkey throws a stone a black rectangular rock, thousands of years later an astronaut arrives in a 1920’s hotel room and trips balls.

      • Pat

        I would pre-order that book/movie to be honest.

      • creech

        Tomboy fucks future terrorist playboy, ousts brother from family business, fucks eccentric inventor and ruins his marriage, then fucks survivalist hiding in mountains from federal authorities.

    • Count Potato

      After killing someone with a farmhouse, a teenage girl meets up with three strangers and decides to kill again.

      • SDF-7

        Perpetual favorite.

      • The Last American Hero

        Laugh all you want, but that author sold a ton of books, and the movie/musical sold a shit ton of tickets. The story connected with people.

      • MikeS

        I think he was illustrating your point.

    • Count Potato

      After surviving several assassination attempts, an unconscious girl is kissed by an unelected official while seven guys watch.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The original was a lot more creepy then that.

    • Count Potato

      A martial arts instructor tells his student to kill his father.

    • Count Potato

      After saving New Jersey, an illegal immigrant journalist reverses time to save his girlfriend.

      • Pat

        Too implausible. Nobody would save New Jersey if given the chance.

    • Count Potato

      With help from his butler, a paranoid billionaire hunts down and kills a man with an odd sense of humor.

  31. KSuellington

    The team formerly know as Washington Football Team has a new mascot. It’s a pig. Yes, seriously, they picked a fucking pig as a mascot. That is so highly appropriate for their city, but I can’t believe they actually did it.

    • Tundra

      Kamala?

      • KSuellington

        They need to start selling rubber pig’s noses for the games and maybe she can lead the halftime show of snuffling through a trough of slop for the taxpayer stacks of dollars. Go all in on it.

      • Rebel Scum

        That’s kindof an insult to pigs.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I agree with whoever said they should rename the team the Washington War Pigs.

      • one true athena

        They only get to be the War Pigs when they’re winning – if the record is losing, they turn into the Washington Generals.

      • R.J.

        Nicknamed: “Snausages”

    • Gustave Lytton

      With a WWI doughboy helmet. The Washington War Pigs.

  32. Ownbestenemy

    Picked up some shifts this weekend coming. This work week will be 11 days straight. Not too happy but it will help pay for the grad gifts we offered the teens.

  33. CPRM

    Wednesday night zoom link. People usually start wandering in around 7PM central. This is the one where it might ask you to log in.

  34. Timeloose

    Wow,

    If I hadn’t looked at the past 10 years of Hugo awards, I would have thought you might just be highlighting some of the more ridiculous fantasy and a Sci-Fi books.

    • rhywun

      I stopped paying attention to those lists oh about… 10 years ago.

      I stick with the authors I like and maybe I’m missing out on something good but IDGAF anymore.

  35. Timeloose

    I just saw a concert lineup so bad I might have to go.

    Vanilla Ice, Tone Loc, Rob Base, Young MC, and Color Me Bad

    • MikeS

      Wow. If LL Cool J took some time off from his terrible acting to do some terrible rapping, he could headline that tour.

      • Timeloose

        I would expect that this show in 1991 would at least have been performed well. 30 years later I don’t think half of these clowns have performed in 10 years.

    • The Hyperbole

      Throw in Skee-Lo and I’m there.