A Glibertarians Exclusive: The Painter I
Beelitz, Germany – 1919
It was less than a year since the Great War ended. It would have been so easy for the young man to have slipped away to anger, to dissolution, to join the unrest that swept Germany. In the horror of the trenches, he had almost forgotten his pre-war fascination with painting, but his patron had not; while the young man was serving in a Bavarian regiment, while he was being awarded the Iron Cross First Class, while he was being wounded, being gassed, someone had been patiently tracking down and purchasing all the paintings the young man had produced before the war. He had heard of the collector third hand, from his sister, from his mother, and from his few remaining acquaintances in Austria.
Then, once the Armistice was in place, while the young man was still recovering from the gas attack, the buyer of the paintings had tracked him down in the hospital in Beelitz. The young man had been lying in his bed, soaking in anger and self-pity, when the gray-haired, portly man in what looked to be an expensive suit walked in and took a chair next to the young man’s bed.
“My name,” the older man had told him, “Is Avram Goldberg.”
The younger man gave his name. He regarded the older man suspiciously. “Why are you here?”
Goldberg produced a large brown envelope and handed it to the recovering soldier. “Look at these.”
‘These’ turned out to be a series of photographs. The young soldier, squinting through the remaining visual haze remaining from his gas exposure, nevertheless identified the subject of the photographs. “These are my paintings,” he said in some amazement. “You are the one who has been buying them.”
“I am. You have a rare gift, young man,” Goldberg said. “Since 1915, I have purchased every one of your paintings that I was able to locate.”
“Why?”
“Because I am a German,” Goldberg pointed out. “Because Mein Herr, you show the beautiful side of Germany and Austria so well. During the recent… unpleasantness, the world came only to see Germany as a military power, and the Kaiser as a warmonger. You show the other side of Germany – the culture, the architecture, the daily life in the towns and cities. I want to promote that. The war is lost. Germany must move forward now. To do that, I am willing to underwrite you as an artist. You will need not worry about expenses, about food or shelter, or supplies. I will provide that. I will promote your career. I have contacts all over Europe. I can easily do all of that.”
The young soldier leaned back against his pillow. “You want me to present Germany’s best face to the world?”
“Yes,” Goldberg said.
“I must think on this,” the soldier demurred.
“I will return tomorrow.”
***
Munich, six months later:
The Pinakothek was Munich’s premiere museum of art. The young man who was hurrying through the crowded morning streets of Munich towards that museum, the young man whose patron had set up this exhibit of his work, still couldn’t quite believe how quickly his fortunes had reversed.
The Pinakothek was still closed when he arrived. A knock on the door brought a sleepy-looking clerk, who peeked out at the young man.
“Who are you?” the clerk demanded. “What do you want?”
“Herr Goldberg has organized an exhibit of my paintings here today.”
The clerk pulled out a scrap of paper and consulted it. “Your name?”
“Adolf Hitler.”
“Ach. Yes. Here you are. The painter.” The clerk held the door open. “Come in. Herr Goldberg is waiting for you.”
The venue was impressive. The results of the exhibition were rather more so, and Adolf came away from the day with several commissions, including one from the Lord Mayor of Munich, Eduard Schmid. “It’s hard to believe,” Adolf told his patron at the end of the day.
“Indeed,” Goldberg replied. “You have done very well. It does not hurt that you have a certain… charisma, when speaking to groups of your attendees. You have a knack for gaining and holding their attention.”
Adolf considered that for a moment.
“Now,” Goldberg went on, “Let us discuss moving you onto a larger stage.”
Adolf looked at the older man. He blinked; his head was still spinning with the figures, the amount of money involved in the commissions he had just agreed to. “What larger stage?”
“Europe. To start with. Here,” Goldberg handed Adolf another brown envelope.
Adolf opened the envelope. Inside were train tickets to…
“Rome?”
“Indeed. It is one of Europe’s major cultural centers. We will have at least two exhibitions in Rome. I have already found and leased a studio there for you. I can meet these expenses for a year, perhaps eighteen months. Judging from today’s performance, I am confident you will be quite well-off on your own effort by then.”
Adolf nodded, his expression serious and determined. “I will.”
“May I give you one piece of advice?”
“Of course.”
“Do something about the mustache. Either grow it out properly or shave it off. You look as though you were growing a toothbrush on your lip.”
“I will consider it.”
Two weeks later found him in Rome – and clean-shaven. Previously, Adolf had only experienced German food, culture, and history. Staying in Rome was a new experience. History surrounded him, and he had taken up an informal study of the Roman Empire, inspired by visits to local sites and fueled by reading what books he could find on the Roman Emperors.
Evening, and Adolf was hurrying to an appointment. A local businessman, one who claimed descent from a famous Italian artist, had retained Adolf to paint a portrait of his twin nieces. Adolf had not previously done a personal portrait, but the businessman had readily agreed to the figure Adolf had named. He had, in effect, made Adolf an offer that was too good to refuse.
The nieces had a room somewhere near the historic Spanish Steps. Adolf was running late for his appointment to start sketching the twins, so now he was hurrying through a damp, chilly evening.
Since that first exhibition in Munich, Adolf felt as though he had hurried everywhere. I have no time to do my own work, he reminded himself. To paint what I want to paint. To show what I want to show. Goldberg said he wanted me to show the better side of Germany. How am I doing that by painting a rich Italian’s nieces?
Soon, he thought. Soon. I’m making money with these tasks. My name is becoming known across Europe. One day I will be known as the one who showed the world the pride and the beauty of Germany and the German people. He smiled, slightly, as he hurried through the drizzling rain. Maybe these Italian twins will even realize the glory of Germany.
***
Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble.
Ancient footprints are everywhere.
You can almost think that you’re seein’ double,
On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs.
Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I’ve got me a date with Botticelli’s niece.
She promised that she’d be right there with me,
When I paint my masterpiece.
This is going to be fun!
I think you meant glorious.
It will go much further.
LOL – originally read that as “It will go much fuhrer.”
Naturalich
Maybe a bit of a struggle…
A race that only goes to the purest.
Wild.
In a hundred tries I don’t think I could have ended up there. Bravo!
Yeah, I am loving this already, can’t wait to see where it goes.
Thanks Animal!
Interesting concept – instead of “kill Hitler”, it’s “let’s push Hitler in a different direction”. Although I get the feeling that it won’t play out as advantageously as we we might at first anticipate…
This is intriguing, like all of Animal’s work. I have zero idea where it’s going. But I can’t wait to find out.
You still think someone will end up stabbed in the back?
By the Juden, no doubt.
Whoever rejected Hitler’s early endeavors has much to answer for! The parents also share blame for naming him Adolf. Albert Hitler would never do such evil.
Biff Hitler even less so.
This should be great. Maybe it delays the inevitable, he ends up with bad reviews in the paper and invades Poland.
I saw immediately where this was going but I assume you can’t fuck around with history and he just ends up leveraging his art career and his “charisma” to end up in the same place.
But I am interested to see where Animal takes it, I could be entirely wrong. And it will be super interesting even if I am right.
Are the days of patrons over? All I can think of is government grants and crowdsourcing like Patreon.
Sugardaddies.com
Government grants are better, because the patrons don’t always fund the “correct” art.
+1 crucifix in jar of urine
So courage. Much brave.
Maiko (Kyoto) and Geisha (Tokyo and elsewhere) are usually supported by wealthy clients.
They buy them clothing and accessories, sometimes living expenses and will take them out for essentially a date to break up their work. Think of that as the way you’d visit your daughter in college and pay to take her and her roommate (here apprentice) out to dinner to get break.
Oh! Beelitz-Heilstätten ist sehr cool.
Malen macht frei!
Neat! Although I wouldn’t do much exploring without a respirator. Yikes.
I’m always amazed when people let buildings like that deteriorate, those railings and banisters alone would cost a fortune today, I can see how at some point maintenance and repairs might get to expensive to keep up but at least salvage those usable parts.
The only reason I can think of is some legal issues (ownership, for instance). Or maybe people are just dopey.
Back during the ’08 crash my buddy and I bought a few houses. One we went through had the shitty copper pipes ripped out, but the thieves left the gorgeous old radiators with massive copper fittings.
No one has ever been able to do anything with the Fergus Falls Funny Farm. Very cool building. We got to go on a field trip there as kids. It seemed very nice to us, but we weren’t let anywhere near the patients.
My dad had a lot of clients admitted there and had to go visit them every so often (to see if they had gotten better and could be sent to a real prison). He called it the scariest/most depressing place on earth.
One of the things I had heard through the hometown grapevine was that being on the Historical Register basically made it impossible to fix up for a reasonable amount of money.
Really cool.
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/fergus-falls-state-hospital
Even as a kid we were threatened to be sent there or St Cloud or Stillwater is we didn’t straighten up, depending where we were on the spectrum.
Don’t know about this case, but often there is a moratorium in place, and TPTB spend years considering what to do about the place while it slowly decays.
The moustache was like the tattoos vets get or the hats some wear. It shows you were there. (trimmed that short so it wouldn’t interfere with a gas mask)
Speaking of moustaches, remember Dr. McNinja and the concept of “The Mustache of Authority?” The dude from RRR had the archetypical example.
Judging by these videos I am going to have to issue a seismic apology for joking about this earlier. That said, my confidence in Turkish and Syrian construction practices has crumbled.
Seismologist Tyler Metcalf explains what’s likely to happen now:
The big #earthquakes in #Turkey have likely led to destabilization of fault lines across the world. There could be many earthquakes in many areas across the world over the next few to several days. One, a Magnitude ~4.2 just hit Buffalo, NY.
Hm. I thought the next phase of The Great Reset was a cyber attack.
The Earthquake machine came online first.
You guys are slacking.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g188QHmXaJE
Slacking!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KzYJS3ksH_s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3SA5Z-cbC8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZHrYI1zrM4
https://youtu.be/ptPekKOigkQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2hkZbVsrPY
I am pleased.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWRjus3end4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B7xr_EjbzE
If only they built as well as the Champlain Towers.
We visited relatives two years after the big earthquake in Kobe and the place still looked like a disaster area. If the Japanese can’t completely clean up after a big quake in two years, I can’t imagine what the recovery in Turkey will be like.
Yes, I am saying that the Japanese are superior when it comes to big time infrastructure shit like this.
Turkey and Syria. And we’ve still got those retarded sanctions for Syria.
“What’s a leppo?”
“Wasn’t that the ‘black sheep’ Marx Brother the others never spoke of?”
*Golf Clap
The one in 1995?
Yup. That would be the one. My brother in law made out like a bandit. He ran a company that made cables (electrical, coax, etc). Kobe laid a shit ton of cabling as they were fixing things up. He couldn’t make enough cable for them.
Whoever made the comment about no US managers in Premier League was wrong, Armas taking over as caretaker. Welcome to England!
Leeds eh?
He gets to start with a home-and-home with Man Utd this week.
And then a “6 pointer” with Everton after that.
That’s a weird bit of scheduling.
I think Wed game is a reschedule of a cancelled game, but yeah, weird.
Can’t believe there are Leeds supporters that want Bielsa back. They should get him just to teach them a lesson.
He turned down Everton because he wouldn’t start in January. I assume same applies to Leeds.
He has never started a job mid-season, he wants to start with a full summer of training.
Why, yes!
Yes I do!
(One of the best Twitter follows)
Thanks Animal
I’m seeing a great future for another young painter that spent a little time in the military and is already well connected.
Gorram it… now I’ve got to go look up Mussolini and see if he had two nieces… I mean, the Don Corleone reference was funny, but having Der Maler working with Il Duce would be the sort of sneaky twist Animal would do…
Well.. not that I can find with a cursory search, but most “family” articles are more about him sleeping around than anything else.
Painter meets journalist… much hijinks ensue.
It looks like Benito Mussolini had two nieces, one by his brother and one by his sister from what I could find quickly.
Yes. Rosina through brother Arnaldo and Rosetta through sister Edvige.
…his twin nieces.
Animal is watching us in amusement.
<— Walks away, looking skyward and whistling
Bears can whistle?
BoysNieces from Brazil?MikeS:
https://twitter.com/the_ironsheik/status/1622667398456254473
Below That
fucked that up
https://twitter.com/InternetH0F/status/1622426885828366336/photo/1
Lol. Perfect.
I was going through my Twitter feed for the first time in a long time and saw one from Bob Menery. You ever seen him? Super funny shit.
No, I haven’t, but that was hysterical!
“White men CAN jump!”
What a Jabroni.
From the Raw Egg Nationalist: The Egg Crisis: We’ve Been Here Before
Good article. Thanks!
We’ve also been HERE before.
I keep debating making the investment in an airbrush, but keep arguing with myself over not wanting to ruin my active projects with practice…
*glances at giant pile of shame taking over living room*
You get those Zardoz miniatures yet? Make that pile a little bigger…
?
Find a bag of cheap plastic toy soldiers for practice?
The “Pile of Shame” is a hobby term for a hoard of plastic that has not been used/worked/completed. I have whole armies worth of plastic I have not used for anything that can serve as test pieces. (Especially since there are a bunch of boxed sets with two different factions in them)
Now, about that spy balloons flight capabilities in regards to its flight path…
This story reminds me of Max, a John Cusack movie about an art dealer and Hitler.
I can continue not shopping here.
Major European grocery chain Lidl will seek to reduce the amount of meat products sold in its stores in favour of “alternative” protein sources to promote the global green agenda.
Lidl’s purchasing director for the German market, Christoph Graf, said this week at a Berlin ‘Green Week’ event that the discount supermarket retailer will seek to move away from selling meat because “there is no second planet”.
In comments reported by the German newspaper Der Spiegel, the grocery executive said that in order to meet the demands of a global population, meat consumption in the West needs to be reduced.
While Graf claimed that the decision to phase out meat should not be seen as an attempt to dictate how customers live their lives, he said that he hopes that he can “motivate” shoppers to purchase more plant-based protein options.
LOL. I look forward to their failure.
And yet, their filets are quite reasonably priced in the USA.
I have no real problem with Europeans voluntarily starving themselves.
I’m near several and have never been inside. I prefer Lowes Grocery stores. They have a meat-smoker in the parking lot and the Bear Den with the Sip-N-Shop. The grocery carts are conveniently equipped with cup-holders for your beer
https://www.lowesfoods.com/beer-den
Link fail for some reason.
The local butchers go “ja gut”
I think that’s called beating a dead horse.
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/neo-nazi-couple-arrested-alleged-plot-completely-destroy-baltimore
Brilliant, really. They can sit on the sofa, drink beer and claim to have destroyed Baltimore. No one could prove them wrong!
Call it a win and move on.
No mention of the couple’s co-conspirator, known to the only by the code name “Fred Baron Icarus.”
G. Gordon Louie.
Is it just the forshortening in the scary Atomwaffen mask pic, or is funboy there like 5’4″?
Speaking of chickens and eggs.
I use the Big “V” 20% protein egg ration. about 2 years ago it was $18/ 50 lb bag.
Its now $24.
30 percent is a decent jump. How many chickens do you have?
Last year was rough. I lost 50 + to heat, sickness, predators….
about 75 right now, another 20 growing in house/dedicated room. Baby Chicks just starting to show up in Oklahoma.
Yikes! That’s a bunch.
So you go through a few bags, then? Are they able to forage the rest of the year?
It was a lot, i made a mistake and killed 30 in the heat…..
I just bought 8 bags.
I will be planting some Kentucky red clover, black oil sunflower to let them forage.
I need them to eat the grasshoppers as well. Last year was difficult.
Re: inferior animal feed…
It’s been a while, but my first job out of college was for the Office of the Texas State Chemist – Feed and Fertilizer Control Service. Think FDA, but TX and animals.
I don’t know about the state you live in, but when I was there, the label confirmation analyses we ran were hard core. Far more rigorous, controlled, traceable and tamper-resistance than any crime lab. When you go after a big agribusiness for not living up to the CoA, you’ve got to be perfect, because they (unlike criminal defendants) have excellent lawyers.
Ahhh the days of Kjedahl analysis of waste and wastewater.
I don’t know if anyone else got the joke, but this headline is on Fox: “Biden sets a new grim record as Americans feel the pain of inflation”
I’m starting to suspect Atkins is putting less beef in their Beef Merlot. And the broccoli is more stems than florets. 🤨
Shrinkflation continues unabated.
My latest shrinkflation suspicion: Companies are making the plastic in packaging thinner, so when you try to pull apart the top of a resealable package, the resealing thinger stays closed and the plastic shreds.
I thought they were just cheaping out on the glue for those — because the resealer lately always just separates from the other side of the package entirely, rendering it worthless.
I made these last night.
Enough for a few days and no Atkins shrinkflation bullshit!
It was a false flag.
https://thepostmillennial.com/breaking-chinese-spy-balloon-carried-explosives-to-self-detonate?utm_campaign=64483
Our Betters are getting worse.
I hope that no one was surprised by the idea of a spy drone being equipped with a self-destruct mechanism…
::starts to whistle Mission: Impossible theme::
*inserttomcruisehere*
I read enough Cold War spy novels not to be surprised. All the spy satellites are similarly equipped (according to Tom Clancy and Robert Ludlum).
How would you even know when it was shot down with a missile? It’s in fragments now. It wasn’t all that big.
no no..the article quotes some AF general saying it was 200 ft tall and as large as an airliner. Which, I guess 3 busses back to back is about the length 737-600. That isn’t tiny
Neither is the warhead in an AIM-9X. It’s supposed to create a big cloud of fragments, more than anything else.
It’s strange how the left considers this a win.
OFFS
Whatever. It went from wildfires (OMG!) to debris field (OMG!) to intelligence value. There is something weird going on, but it ain’t what we are being fed.
Stoke that China war boner, boys!
Best thesis on it I’ve seen.
Biden administration knew the Blinken trip to Beijing would fail as its main purpose was to try to split the current Russia/China cooperation, particularly concerning Ukraine.
They needed an out and a stray weather balloon that swung south because of last week’s polar vortex provided it.
https://www.moonofalabama.org/2023/02/nyt-plants-false-claims-over-chinas-balloon-communication.html#more
Oh, and don’t talk about the Naftali Bennett revelations:
https://news.antiwar.com/2023/02/05/former-israeli-pm-bennett-says-us-blocked-his-attempts-at-a-russia-ukraine-peace-deal/
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5akEgsZSfhg
Interesting. I read this morning some speculation that certain asswipes wanted to scuttle the trip because they didn’t want Blinken to de-escalate the situation with China.
Either way, he wasn’t going and this gave them a solid out.
China doesn’t respect Blinken at all. No matter what is going on I think we are being lied to.
Who would? He’s a walking, talking sack of shit.
And yet you’d think if it really were just a weather balloon that strayed off course, China would have notified the US and the information would have become public somehow.
Thought they would use a gun on the balloon itself instead of a missile on the payload. Doesn’t matter if the above mentioned self-destruct mechanism was real. An F-15 can certainly get high enough.
Was the balloon above the ceiling of the jet? Most military aircraft max out around 50,000 feet.
‘Twas. The entire point of this kind of surveillance balloon is high altitude, low observability, minimal energy for station-keeping. The fact that it got low enough to shoot down, makes me suspect that it was malfunctioning.
50-65,000 feet. I have seen variation of 60-65 for the Eagle and Raptor. So they can get close enough. Even if the balloon was higher a longer range missile would suffice.
Yeah, I have to assume they have this covered technology wise.
I haven’t seen that one before. Neat.
F-15 is 60k+ easy. One with nothing on the wing mounts made it over 100k.
I don’t think it has the flight surfaces to maneuver at those heights, though it is thought the F-22 can. 60K and above aerodynamics get a bit different as the air thins out.
An article I read noted that Canada shot up a runaway weather balloon and it took six days to descend.
So perhaps they wanted to be sure given this result.
AMC will start charging more for the seats most desired by moviegoers
I can continue not going.
Yup… that’s going to be my plan as well. Way to buck the “watch the movie at home” trend there, AMC.
LOL. Great plan, guys!!!!!
I just went to a theater that had heated recliners and a bar in the lobby. Tickets were the same price. Nice knowing you, AMC.
BART oversaw $350,000 Salvation Army program that treated one person, audit finds
They’re so far gone that they don’t even realize that’s their purpose for existing, Unaccountable spending is the goal.
Are we wasting money?
Are we the baddies?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Can confirm.
The end of NATO appears to be in sight:
https://news.antiwar.com/2023/02/05/germany-open-to-theories-that-a-western-country-attacked-nord-stream-pipelines/
I would have preferred the breakup sans WWIII, though.
I think it’s going to be Great Depression 2 European Boogaloo
Energy or money collapse first?
Money. Lagarde panicked last week. I think the walls are closing in on the ECB.
That of course creates an energy crisis as well. Europe is screwed.
Those reindeer have really upped their game. Gotta get some new gear.
https://www.defensenews.com/global/europe/2023/02/03/norway-wants-to-buy-dozens-of-new-leopard-2-tanks/
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Way to make small-l libertarians look even more like libertine weirdos, dumbass.
Didn’t the dude running against Masters in AZ do the same damn thing? Why do the freaks take all the good names?
If people ask, I’m a Meat-based Glib. Fuck libertarian.