Clearly this is not a female superhero. Only Marvel superheroes count.
Firsts. You either first 100%, or you didn’t first at all. A first with conditions is not a first. “Captain Marvel is the first woman superhero movie! Wait, we meant for Marvel, not for all time!” No. Not a first at anything. Black Widow was a major character in the modern Marvel universe first, and she was much better. She Hulk was in the Incredible Hulk Show prior. Captain Marvel was some Deux Ex Machina that wrecked a whole story line. Not a first at anything. Batwoman was far, far before that. And hundreds of others. Seems like today people want to celebrate every fart and come up with a way to make it a pathetic win. First romantic comedy featuring a one-legged Presbyterian bisexual! That is not a first at anything, it is a participation trophy.
OK, enough of that. This movie is not to be confused with the Wild Wild World of Batwoman, which was mocked by Mystery Science Theater. Nor is this the new shitty Batwoman which was on CW. Instead, this is a property lightly based on Bob Kane’s Batman character. The difference is we have a female Batwoman who strips down and fights crime when she isn’t wrestling or jet-setting. Some of the plot points in our movie are a little unusual and I wonder what it may have inspired in the coming years…
For example, this is like something Hunter S. Thompson wrote, where wrestlers are being killed for their pineal glands. Only instead of tripping in a hotel, the mad doctor is making a superhuman gill man. Luckily for us Batwoman is already wearing swimwear and will be able to quickly defeat this demon of the deep. Because she is always wearing swimwear when fighting crime. God bless Mexico. Now am I going to swoon and say this is the first movie with a female superhero where pineal glands were mentioned? No.
Photobomb! I am the first red Sleestak ever on film!
Let’s talk about that gill monster. It shows up about 2/3 the way through the movie and it is clearly a prototype for a Sleestak. That helmet for sure got reused in Land of the Lost. The color changed from red to green for Land of the Lost, but that’s a Sleestak head. I like how the art department hid the monster’s air tank behind a giant tail that ran up his back. That is some classy work.
Our lovely actress tonight is Maura Monti, who is Italian. And she is playing in a Mexican wrestling film. Not a lot of information on this, I can only assume that after she was born in Italy, she got to Mexico as soon as she could. She has a dual citizenship, Mexico and Italy. Cool, but also not a first. Other than that, there isn’t a whole lot about her, sadly. Her performance is forgotten, and she is not brought up in discussions of female superheroes. In fact the entire genre of female wrestler movies is left our of the national conversation of female superheroes. I wonder why?
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary until you are forced to watch Captain Marvel in an education camp! Next week, we will… We will… Not be watching The Panther Squad. I so wanted to show it! I gave it another chance! It was edited by two blind cocaine addicts in separate dark rooms! So flipping horrible! And the trailer was so promising! And it had Sybil Danning! Anyway, I will find something else to show. Or… Do any of you dare to watch The Panther Squad with me? Tell me in the comments!
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(h/t: The Hyperbole)
Batkini!
Chakaa lives!
Two thumbs up, just for the poster.
I like the cut of your, and her, jib!
“ First romantic comedy featuring a one-legged Presbyterian bisexual!”
I’d watch that, but I’d want booze first.
*Begins searching Tubi
Just no Methodists, ok?
SLEESTAK!!!!
RED Sleestak. First Sleestak of color in a motion picture.
Followed by the Red Lectroids. Then we’re in trouble.
The red sleestaks were always killed first.
*snort*
Why do I think I’ve seen this before?
Diving in.
I don’t think I’ve seen this before.
Good! I enjoy the extra dubbed narration for us slow English speakers.
Mine is just bad Spanish, with bad English subtitles.
Sounds like this has been re-dubbed (and new credits) rather recently. Poorly, as well.
Hey, MM…I got you scheduled for a couple of Wednesday 1900s in a row, in March. 🙂 I thought you would…fit in with Wednesdays…
Was the cigarette case gun in Man with the Golden Gun first, or this?
The MWTGG book came out in 1965, the film in 1974, so who knows for sure?
Thanks, RJ. Working at the moment. Am watching this as soon as I get home.
The mad scientist pronounces “Pisces” like “Feces.”
Gotta drop. Will resume tomorrow.
Commercials. Bleagh. Sorry, looked interesting.
Hence why it’s free and you don’t have to sign in.
Yep. Commercials are time to go get a brew.
inorite? Commercials don’t really bother me. Except that Spectrum commercial with the shouty moron.
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
1-8-7-7 Kars for Kids!
DIE, DIE, DIE!
My wife dives for the volume control when that commercial comes on.
There’s a reason I like her.
That guy was the Bud Light King. I think he can be a good actor, it’s just that the Spectrum script is shit.
Hoogenakker!
I don’t even know the commercial, but that guy is awesome. He was just great in ‘Jack Ryan’ as well as the ended-far-too-early ‘Colony’.
I remember liking Colony. No idea what part he played and I’m hesitant to look it up I hate that fucking Spectrum commercial so much.
Moving the filming of ‘Colony’ from LA to the PacNorthWest (Seattle? Vancouver?) just killed the momentum of that show – they had to kill a whole season explaining that move and that was the end of it.
I don’t know what that is.
But that commercial is the current title-holder for nails-on-chalkboard leap-across-the-room to change the channel.
Kars for Kids is gently pleasant in comparison.
Dilly dilly.
I like him.
Yeah… I didn’t care for that promotion. I probably erased it from my memory.
Ads are a dealbreaker for me.
I love the 8+ minutes of exposition in the opening.
*Watches her parachute into town and get into a car in skivvies*
“I love this movie”
RJ, I am highly displeased that you decided to write an article on Firsting that did not make use of my expertise. You have access to the greatest mind that has ever Firsted, and you just decided to wing it on your own. It takes balls, I’ll give you that.
For where is MikeS?
Sleeping off super bowl?
Speaking of, you all enjoy. Work has been tough and I need rest before tomorrow. Good night!
You always say you’re going to bed and then you post like a dozen more times. You have a little bit of Firster in you. Figuratively speaking. No part of me has ever been inserted into you.
Shared without comment.
Giggity.
I enjoyed that preview of Panther Squad. What a disappointment it’s unwatchable. Here’s something Panther related as a consolation prize. NSFW toward the end.
https://youtu.be/vM6xASUJbhI
Sorry, for those who care, but there will be no Stoic Friday tomorrow.
I am travelling and my laptop keeps crashing.
Finally got on long enough to post this comment.
I will put one up next week.
We shall endeavor to be
stoicuncomplaining about it.Safe travels.
We will use the opportunity to exercise our self control.
I’ll try to keep my feelings to myself.
This is some unacceptable bullshit right here, I’m going to rage endlessly into the void.
Ron, I was going to First on this article. Now, I will not be able to do so. You could say that your efforts are a prerequisite for my greatness, but I am always great regardless. Still, this is a great loss for you.
*maintains a stiff upper lip*
Batwoman can hold her breath underwater as long as the lifeguards on Baywatch.
I got this new transcription gig. The web-based software freezes up at 11p central on the dot every night. It’s annoying and irritating.
Also, I have been in my fucking office chair all fucking day talking on the fucking phone for fucking hours and my butt hurts. Go ahead, low-hanging fruit that you all find so delicious.
STEVE SMITH… ah, I got nothin’
Can hubby rub it to make it feel better?
“Rub my tushy, Al.”
You go girl.
😂😂
I blame UCS.
What did I do this time?
She really knows how to read a crowd.
https://www.nationalreview.com/2023/02/kathy-hochul-caught-on-camera-waving-chinese-flag-marching-next-to-ccp-official/
I bet next month she’ll pose next to Irish flags. Fuck the Orangemen!
She’ll probably pose with masked members of Sein Fein.
Whatever gets her the potential votes.
https://news.antiwar.com/2023/02/16/the-us-may-have-shot-down-a-small-hobby-balloon-with-a-sidewinder-missile/
“ According to a report from Aviation Week, at least one of the objects may have been a hobby balloon reported missing by a club in Illinois that launches small balloons with tracking devices that are capable of traveling the globe at high altitudes.
The club, the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade (NIBBB), said its balloon was last reported off the coast of Alaska on February 10, and tracking data projected that it would be floating over Canada’s Yukon Territory on February 11, the same day a US F-22 shot down an object in the area.
The balloon they launched is known as a “pico balloon,” a small silver-coated party-style balloon that carries a transmitter. A Pentagon memo described the object that was shot down over Canada as a “small, metallic balloon with a tethered payload below it.”“
They’re a brigade! Self-admitted terrorists!
“ “I tried contacting our military and the FBI—and just got the runaround—to try to enlighten them on what a lot of these things probably are. And they’re going to look not too intelligent to be shooting them down,” Meadows said. According to Aviation Week, the pico balloons can usually be purchased for between $12-180 each, depending on the type.”
America, brought down by party balloons
“party balloons”
You misspelled communists.
That’s an interesting autocorrect for insurrectionists.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/championship-between-camden-eastside-basketball-011338519.html
“An on-court melee halted the final of the first-ever Camden County Boys Basketball Tournament Thursday, and the ramifications could be significant for both the Camden and Eastside High programs.
The fracas, which involved players from both programs, caused officials to cancel the game and officials at Cherry Hill East, where the game was being played, to clear the gym.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nqiVvOXotyw
🎶🎶
Git yer asses outta bed!
Good morning peeps. 🍳
https://www.nj.com/mercer/2023/02/one-dead-in-stabbing-at-nj-arena-officials-say.html
More NJ basketball…
https://www.pennlive.com/politics/2023/02/pa-republicans-stung-by-election-losses-find-new-love-for-mail-in-voting.html
Dumb.
Dumb.
Dumb.
🎵 won’t get fooled again 🎵
I’m done until vote-by-mail is outlawed.
It’s a contest to see who can cheat better.
Spoiler alert: Democrats
inorite
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4kTBU6PME
https://www.wfmz.com/food-and-recipes/where-to-get-your-fastnacht-fix/article_cad9154e-ad33-11ed-abb6-3f048ac038b6.html
Fastnacht day is fast approaching.
Shrove Tuesday approaches. Prepare for pancakes.
…and then prime fast food fish sandwich season.
https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-doing-donuts-at-intersection-allegedly-hits-police-car
Oh Florida man, you so crazy.
Huh. I thought police liked donuts.
https://ktla.com/news/nexstar-media-wire/nationworld/tesla-recalling-362k-vehicles-due-to-crash-risk-caused-by-self-driving-software/
>.>
Good Morning All:
Escorting drill rig again. Hopefully its a quiet day.
Morning. Keeping the rapid golfers off the rig?
*rabid
Blarg.
We have moved to the navy area. hopefully the drilling rig wont break (again).
although they are waiting for parts.
, this mobilization sucks.
Good morning Glibbernam!
It does feel that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
Good morning all.
Good morning, Shirley!
Good morning, GL (insomnia again?) Roat, ‘bodru, U, and Sean!
Today’s my last day of work before a week of vacation! 😁
Going anywhere, or relaxing at home?
At home for the weekend, but Monday going down for three nights at the just-an-hour-away state park lodge down near Oxford, OH. (Three-for-two deal, and cheaper rates during the week.) That should be long enough for a relaxing getaway, but not so long that the cats wreck the house…at least not any worse than it’s usually wrecked. 😕
So, if I want to pester you either do it on the weekend or wait for thursday, got it.
Nah – they have wifi.
Work. Today I remembered to bring my badge at least.
Good! You won’t have to tunnel in! 😃
It’s Friday before a long weekend. It will be warm but rainy. Spring has definitely started early. The first flowers are blooming. The trees are budding. I heard frogs this morning. Prepare for the blanket of pollen.
I just hope our magnolia doesn’t get tricked into blooming too soon, then getting its blossoms wrecked by a late frost. That’s happened for the last few years, it seems. 😢
Stafford schools, VITA create first student-run tax prep program in Virginia
I was a VITA preparer in the Army. Pub 17 is the abridged bible. Hopefully the experience will help them see how convoluted the tax laws are like it did for me. I question allowing children to perform the task. As a preparer you sign the form which has legal obligations.
Cancer changes you
So what you’re saying is cancer is a bug in the simulation’s code and it can cause other parts of the code to be altered in unexpected ways?
I hope if I get brain damage I don’t end speaking with a Jersey accent or something similarly bad.
Nah, you’ll either end up with the worst Bahston accent or sounding like a Rhinelander.
I think I’d hope for either a French accent or maybe Swedish. Or “southern belle.” Whichever one men find most irresistible. 😉
Safe to say it’s not Joisey, or Lawn Guy Land, or any of the NYC accents there.
-1 Fran Drescher
Mornin’, GT. Fran’s character temporarily lost her accent on an episode of “The Nanny” when she saw a pile of Wasabi, asked “what’s this?”, and ate some before being warned not to.
Did she pick up a Japanese accent instead? 😄
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WdQzb8DYIuM
Well done physical comedy! Lucille Ball would have been proud!
Heh I watched a bunch of those for the first time a couple years ago when I was unemployed and bored. I found it surprisingly enjoyable.
Mornin’, reprobates!
4-day weekend courtesy of $employer who gives us a quarterly day off for “recharging”, and some dead presidents whose birthdays are no longer celebrated. Get to work, y’all, I’m chillin’ today.
Good morning, ‘patzie! Time for me to go get ready for my last day of work before my WEEK off! 😜
Fantastic for both of you! I am at work now. No dead presidents day for me.
Week off > day off. I have7 days coming beginning next Thursday. A working vacation since Mrs. Patzer’s hip replacement is Friday.
Monday is for Washington’s Birthday. Biden can bugger off.
I’m *at* work…