First Monday Afternoon of February Links

by | Feb 6, 2023 | Daily Links | 221 comments

Happy February everybody. I guess I’m about a week late on it, but that’s how the calendar fell. Let’s see… this weekend, we rode yet another scale model train, the baby learned how to suck down his own pouch of applesauce (technically, I guess the 2-year old’s since he scavenged them off the floor), and my parents — once of the “you’ll rot your damn brain with those video games” generation took the older two for a night and returned me a pair of zombies who looked and acted like they were coming off a weeklong pill bender. So much random emoting. Their minds were just gone. Luckily, an afternoon of “go play outside” and a night of sleep got them back within tolerances. Just normal crazy this morning. How the heck are y’all?

It is a slow news day y’all. It’s like some goddam balloon sucked all the air out of the news. Except for that horrible stuff in Turkey, but I can’t bring myself to link to that.

More proof that bioethicists are experts at neither.

I’m pretty sure “walking teabag style” is an old Halo trick.

This guy obviously wants a fight with our own Sloopy.

$100K to have this guy talk? How much to make him shut up?

These guys are coming to town tomorrow, but I won’t get there because kids.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

221 Comments

  1. Rebel Scum

    A recent report by a Norwegian professor proposed that brain-dead women, and even men, should be used as surrogates “for anyone who wishes to avoid the risks and burdens of gestating a foetus in their own body.”

    Consent is required until it isn’t, I guess.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Necrophiliacs agree

      • SDF-7

        Asshole mentioned in the dead thread would agree as well.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        “The notion that it’s wrong even with a 1-year-old is not quite obvious to me,” he continued, adding that children consenting to sexual activity is like playing a sport or preparing for their Bar Mitzvah.

        “There’s lots of activities that children engage in that they don’t understand all that well,” he claimed.

        I wonder if it would become obvious when he’s staring at the end of a barrel.

  2. Rat on a train

    Smajdor addressed possible feminist concerns over WBGD and suggested that brain-stem-dead men could also be used for gestation, expanding the pool of potential donors.

    Men can get pregnant.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I am looking forward to History of the World Part II the miniseries.

    • Michael Malaise

      “Smajdor”

      What does The Lord of the Rings have to do with this?

  3. Ted S.

    These guys are coming to town tomorrow, but I won’t get there because kids.

    You could take the kids with you. 😉

    • The Other Kevin

      He’s a Florida man. He should easily come up somewhere to keep the kids that will land him on the front page.

  4. The Other Kevin

    Wow, who’d have thought Fauci was a greedy bastard in it for the money like every other “public servant”?

    Pretty much everyone with a brain.

    • R C Dean

      “How much to make him shut up?”

      *checks ammo prices*

    • C. Anacreon

      Actually, being fairly familiar with the lecture bureau world, $100K for someone of Fauci’s fame/notoriety/impact is really fairly cheap.
      I’m sure Michelle Obama commands much more than that for her accomplishment of being married to someone famous.
      Former Presidents like Bush, Bill and Barack get in the hundreds of thousands per gig, as does Hillary.
      TBH Fauci isn’t asking for much more than the typical “inspirational speaker” like “the lady who climbed Mt. Everest!”

  5. B.P.

    “New Study: Walking “Teabag Style” for a Few Minutes a Day Could Have Important Public Health Benefits”

    …claim giggling scientists.

    • The Other Kevin

      It was a steamy report from the Cleveland Clinic.

  6. Certified Public Asshat

    The inefficient walking styles of Mr. Teabag and Mr. Putey, acted by John Cleese and Michael Palin in the 1971 Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks sketch, have been shown to be more variable than usual walking, but their energy expenditure has never been measured.

    To fill this vital research gap, a team of US researchers set out to compare the energy expenditure of low-efficiency walking with high-efficiency walking.

    Their findings are based on data from 13 healthy adults (six women, seven men) aged 22-71 years (average age 34) with no history of heart or lung disease, and no known gait disorder.

    I’m sold.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Doing things in a more strenuous way is better exercise?

      You could knock me over with a feather.

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    I thought everybody walked that way?

    • Brett L

      “Walk this way, sir….”

      • SDF-7

        When Steven Tyler gets polite? … “Talk this way, sir….”

      • slumbrew

        ‘Blazing Saddles’ and ‘Young Frankenstein’ Came. Out. In. The. Same. Year.

        Who had a more impressive 1974 than Mel Brooks?

      • Shirley Knott

        Well,Victor Fleming got both The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind out in 1939, so while what Zbrooks did is indeed awesome, it’s not unprecedented.
        Admittedly, philistine that I am, I’d take Brooks’s films over Fleming’s for entertainment,.

  8. Michael Malaise

    Links homepage image from my favorite show of all time!

    • Rat on a train

      The end of the series was a bit WTF? (dude singing Dem Bones and all)

      • Not Adahn

        Coincidentally or not, the “two part ending that goes completely bonkers” was duplicated in (at least) Mr. Robot and Neon Genesis Evangelion.

      • slumbrew

        Evangelion just went completely off the rails.

        I assume in all cases it’s just bad writing. “We just don’t know how to end this“.

      • C. Anacreon

        There’s a man who lives a life of danger
        Bet you thought that he is a park ranger!
        But this photojournalist
        Is right now really pissed
        His pal faked death and now is on the lam.

        Mark Trail, Danger Man!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Hilton CEO Chris Nassetta says selling his black Porsche 944 was the best financial decision he ever made.

    That’s because buying it in the first place was his worst. He was in his 20s and fresh off a breakup when he saw the sleek model in a used car lot near his home in Arlington, Virginia. He had a third party ensure the car and the deal were legitimate, then paid $20,000 for it, taking out a loan to cover part of the cost.

    20k for a 944? What a maroon.

    I’ll leave it to somebody else to debate whether or not a 944 is in fact a Porsche.

    • Grumbletarian

      He had a third party ensure the car

      Ensure that it was in fact a car?

      • SDF-7

        Ensure that the car was, in fact, legitimate (as well as the deal) is how I read that. i.e. Not stolen, clean title, actual Porsche or something.

      • Grumbletarian

        Okay, that does make sense.

    • Tundra

      Repair costs suggest it absolutely is a Porsche.

      I drove a Scirocco back then. My buddy had a 944 that was barely faster than my VW. Pass.

      • B.P.

        Sciroccos had a reputation for being pretty quick.

      • Tundra

        It was appropriately light. Fun car that didn’t cost a lot. Perfect for a young dude.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I recall an old commercial where they claimed a Sirrocco could outrun a Corvette in a slalom course.

        Started out with “Of course a Porsche 911 can out run a …”

        The old David Horowitz show did a fact check, and because of the sloppy rear end in the Vette, it actually outran both the Sirrocco and the 911.

        Only on a slalom course, though (circa 1977). The slop in the rear end imparted some 4 wheel steering that lead to faster slalom times.

        Mid ’70s Porsches were scary fucking cars at speed. Throttle lag oversteer is no joke.

      • Tundra

        Mid ’70s Porsches were scary fucking cars at speed. Throttle lag oversteer is no joke.

        Even into the ’80s. A dude I know owed a high end bodyshop and always claimed 911s put his kids through college.

        Can’t puss out on hard curves!

    • Bobarian LMD

      A 944 is, in fact, a porsche. The 924 was a vw/audi.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        Yep. It was also the 914 that was a VW.

    • Shpip

      Eh, a 1984 base model 944 had an MSRP of around $21K. Add in a few options, you’re talking twenty-five large. If he got it at 18 months old or so, he might not have overpaid by that much. But it was still a stupid decision. Never spend more than a year’s salary on a car, kids. That’s a move I expect the 430 credit score people to make.

      And you have to remember, in the 80s Porsche was trying to diversify from the 911 line by making front-engine GT cars like the 928 (remember the famous chase scene in Risky Business?) and Jake’s 944. They’re both well-balanced, great driving cars for their era — if rather underpowered by modern standards. But then, my ’16 GT4 is underpowered by modern standards.

  10. juris imprudent

    I remember the first time I related to the pointy-haired boss in a Dilbert cartoon. It was very disturbing to see me in him.

    • Shirley Knott

      I worked for not one but two companies who hired Scott Dams’s inspiration for the pointy haired boss to design and implement their software development methodology. They merged, I left.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Way to go off half cocked.

    In 2008, the U.S. Supreme Court in District of Columbia v. Heller held (5-4) that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual the right to possess firearms independent of service in a state militia and to use firearms for traditionally lawful purposes, including self-defense within the home. The court majority, along with many members of Congress, ignore the first three words of the Second Amendment, which explain why the right to firearms exists: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

    Surely the authors of the Constitution had in mind a militia organized by and subject to the government — not a ragtag crowd of ruffians carrying shotguns and AK-47s around an abortion clinic or into the U.S. Capitol.

    They didn’t. And don’t call me “Shirley.”

    • juris imprudent

      The Republican virus eh? CWAA

    • B.P.

      “…ignore the first three words of the Second Amendment…”

      The first three words are “A well regulated”.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah. Would think they would want to ignore the operative clause of the amendment. But hey, they do they.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        No, they do us. Rather prison style, I might add.

      • Grumbletarian

        Of course! Only people who owned regulated wells could keep and bear arms. BRILLIANT!

      • SDF-7

        Deep….

    • kinnath

      The people that wrote the Constitution had just a decade prior committed high treason and fought a war to overthrow their lawful government.

      So, no, they did not intend for guns to only be in the hands of a state-sponsored militia.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They really didn’t intend for there to be a state-sponsored militia; except for in times of war.

    • MikeS

      The same guys who staged a violent revolt against a overbearing and distant government? Yes, a militia subject to the government is exactly what they had in mind. 🙄

    • EvilSheldon

      “…not a ragtag crowd of ruffians carrying shotguns and AK-47s…into the U.S. Capitol.”

      But enough about the cops.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of half-cocked….

      A southern Minnesota woman is facing jail time after allegedly attacking her boyfriend with an unusual weapon: poultry.

      Natalie Bruemmer, a 36-year-old Eagle Lake resident, was arrested Wednesday after coming home from a bar with the victim, according to charges filed in Brown County this week.

      The unidentified victim told police that Bruemmer was “was hitting him and spitting in his face” on the drive home, and once inside their property, hit him in the back of the head with a whole chicken.

      “Victim still had some chicken residue in his hair,” the charges say.

      * Yes, I know that it was probably a hen and not a cock that he got clobbered with, but since it is a gun control thread, I figured basic facts could be ignored

      • MikeS

        Talk about being hen pecked!

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m calling a fowl on you Mike

      • whiz

        Don’t egg him on.

      • Fourscore

        Nothing to crow about.

      • juris imprudent

        Hopefully he got to make a wish.

      • Bobarian LMD

        hit him in the back of the head with a whole chicken.

        Whole?

        Frozen, fried, fricasseed, feathered?

        Don’t leave us hanging.

    • WTF

      They are blissfully ignorant of the fact that at the time it was written, “well regulated” meant “in good working order”. A watch that kept accurate time was said to be well regulated. It did not mean controlled and restricted by the government.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or that the militia organized prior to the revolutionary war was not authorized or under the authority of the lawful government.

      • R C Dean

        You get a look at that in Last of the Mohicans. The locals did not regard themselves as being under the orders of British officers, even when they had volunteered to be militia to the redcoats’ regular army.

    • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

      Well regulated mean, simply, not a mob.

      Nothing more, nothing less.

    • Not Adahn

      The Second Amendment does not prohibit private ownership of guns

      Whaaaaa?

  12. UnCivilServant

    Internal Server Error?

    Can I get an External Server then?

    • SDF-7

      Sure — just find your nearest sidewalk cafe and bistro.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do we have any inkling of what causes the internal server errors? I only want to make one rant.

      • SDF-7

        I certainly don’t, sorry. Kernel guy — all this user stuff is just the cruft that invokes system calls. 😉

    • UnCivilServant

      The short version of my rant is that the Bowling Alley got rid of free refills on drinks and lost money because of it.

    • R.J.

      I saw that! Fantastic!

      • SDF-7

        Huh… I thought it would be the other time Kirk did that… Mind your own business, Mr. Spock!

      • R.J.

        Right. There were two times.

    • Sean

      This was noted earlier today.

      Congratulations.

      • Warty

        Oh yeah now I see it.

        I fully expect to earn at least a 7 day ban for this.

      • Swiss Servator

        Nah, it is going viral!

    • SDF-7

      Yup.. that got linked in the morning thread, I believe. And there was much rejoicing.

    • The Other Kevin

      I used my new found Twitter skills to like it. Well done.

    • Ownbestenemy

      It was too good to not be shared Warty! Well done

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      We can say we were there when Warty achieved immortality,

    • Animal

      **Golf clap**

      • Animal

        This is reason #456,908 that I really, really love this group.

    • nw

      I see that ChatGPT seems to be unaware of the use/mention distinction.

  13. Grummun

    The website describes Fauci as someone “who’s career warrants execution under immense pressure that can alter the course of human existence.

    But not someone who grasps correct grammar.

    His work on domestic as well as global health issues has saved millions of lives.

    Ignore all those dead gays in the 80s.

    This high level of research, discovery and execution is amazing given the grave challenges he faces on a daily basis,” the agency writes. 

    Which research, exactly, did Fauchi perform? How to monetize publicly funded research for personal gain doesn’t count.

    • Michael Malaise

      “the grave challenges he faces on a daily basis,”

      Shootouts at every intersection!

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        All those retirement home deaths are coming back to haunt him.

    • SDF-7

      How to game his pension as much as possible, apparently.

    • Bobarian LMD

      who[sic]se career warrants execution…

      Yep, I’m probably good with that. But only after a fair trial.

      • R C Dean

        How fair does the trial need to be?

      • Bobarian LMD

        12 of my peers agreed.

        “Fuck that Dude.”

  14. Pope Jimbo

    Old and busted: Sled Hockey. New and hawt: Trans Hockey!

    Annie “Doomrider” Bell is the president of Team Trans Twin Cities. They’ve played hockey for most of their life but said there’s nothing like Team Trans. Some players are simply there to be in a queer space and have zero experience with hockey. Others had traumatizing experiences in mainstream hockey spaces as transgender people and needed a change.

    “It’s really saving folks,” Bell said, adding that many people who are now on the team were in a bad place before finding the community that is the team.

    “It gives people a sense of purpose that they can authentically show up and be who they are. There is such a deep sense of connection, you get to exist without feeling fear,” they said.

    Sorry, TOK, but if your next tourney in Minnesoda conflicts with Team Trans games, I know which one I’ll be attending.

    • Pope Jimbo

      And of course, no story about Trans shit would be complete without some obligatory grooming:

      “Go Big Dog! Go Big Dog! Go Big Dog!” shouted the loudest fan of the evening, 9-year-old Naz. It was Naz’s first time seeing Team Trans and “Big Dog” in action, aka Sand. He shared he really has no interest in hockey, but met Sand at a protest over the weekend. He begged his moms to let him attend the game.

      When the game ended, Sand yelled for Naz to come down to the ice and she gave him her stick, which is covered in different LGBTQ+ pride flags. He said it was “the best day” of his life.

      Naz said that as a young transgender person, it’s important to him to see transgender adults happy and thriving.

      “Big Dog said they were so glad I have people who really understand me but sometimes it also sucks. I have to advocate for myself a lot,” he said.

      Naz is certain this won’t be his last game – he said he is now Team Trans’ number one fan, as well as Sand’s.

      Making your kid a political accessory to burnish your woke creds really upsets me.

      • pistoffnick

        Right in the 5 hole

      • Pope Jimbo

        I can hardly wait for them to pown all the knuckle-draggers out there.

        “Hey, I’m a transwoman and I just had three periods!”

      • SDF-7

        “Anyone up for a Bloody Mary?”

      • Bobarian LMD

        “And I never changed my pads!”

      • R C Dean

        9 years old. With moms. Goes to trans protests. Is trans.

        Bright future for that kid.

      • juris imprudent

        Suicide or mass murder?

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Future Secretary of the HHS

        Mass murder it is

      • Plinker762

        Look at little Nazie go!

    • SDF-7

      I don’t care about your stick. I don’t care about how you like to puck.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Never once when I was playing did I wonder if my matchup was gay, straight, or trans.

    • The Other Kevin

      Maybe if they also play at the Super Rink in May you can attend both!

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’d pay cash money to watch a sled hockey team play a trans team. Too bad hockey doesn’t have shirts vs skins like b-ball because that would make it even better.

      • The Other Kevin

        By necessity, all the local/club teams are coed because there just aren’t enough players for women-only teams. So we just lucked into not having to deal with this problem. Woman, man, trans, whatever, you can play on any team. The only difference is they have teams for men and women at the Paralympic level, but that’s the IOC’s problem, not ours.

      • Pope Jimbo

        There is a pickup league here in the Twin Cities that is run by the “Hockey Nazi”. She runs the entire league and they have pretty much tied up all the ice time at rinks around the area so if you want to play some random game you have to play by her rules.

        The way it works is you sign up and are assigned a skill level. Then you can look through a calendar for a game being formed up for players with your skill level and you can join. The number one complaint I always here about her is that she will not allow any games with a mismatch of skill levels. So if you are a good player but want to play with your buddies who stink on ice, you can’t do that. Even if you promise to not try hard.

        Not only will she shut down the game, but she’ll threaten the players involved in it. Tells them that if they try that again, they’ll get kicked out of the league.

        Pretty crazy. I talked with her several times when I was helping a group try to set up something similar in another city. She was an insane control freak.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Kinda defeats the premise of pickup hockey. I loved pickup games because of the fact you might get some AAA guy jump on the ice and challenges your play.

      • The Other Kevin

        Our B team is officially without a league this year. We used to be in a league based in Michigan, but the woman who ran it was similar to your Hockey Nazi. She wouldn’t allow some of our players on the ice because they had played on our A team and were “too good”. Once she pulled one of our guys off the ice 10 minutes into a game. He was a big black guy and there were younger players on the other team. (That looked pretty bad). The overtime rules kept changing, as did the number of minutes in each period. We tried to form our own league, but after one season the other teams quit and joined the Michigan league.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Running a league is not easy.

        I’m president of an adult baseball league in an area with a dearth of full sized fields.

    • juris imprudent

      It’s really saving folks

      There really is no level of fuckery they won’t descend to – utterly unconsciously.

  15. Count Potato

    In more bioethics news,

    “Washington woman with tuberculosis can be quarantined and drugged against her will after refusing medication, judge rules”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-11718557/Woman-tuberculosis-forcibly-drugged-quarantined-judge-rules.html

    “Wealthy Nigerian senator and his wife ‘brought poor street trader, 21, to the UK to harvest his kidney for their daughter in exchange for £7,000 and promise of a better life'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11719437/Nigerian-senator-brought-street-trader-UK-harvest-kidney-exchange-7-000.html

    He could have just sent an email.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      “Wealthy Nigerian senator and his wife ‘brought poor street trader, 21, to the UK to harvest his kidney for their daughter in exchange for £7,000 and promise of a better life’”

      This is how it should be. The organ and tissue industry isn’t pretty. Everyone makes lots of money of off tragic deaths except for the actual ones affected. It’s framed with very manipulative messaging as organ donation being a selfless act. Frankly used car salesman have higher morals than the call centers where they badger bewildered and grieving family members into saying yes. Give people the option to sell either their own organs or their deceased one’s organs at fair market price. But the reality is that human tissue isn’t competitive with synthetic options if the material has to be paid for.

      When I went out with surgeons to high-end steakhouses for “educational presentations” and open bars for the sales teams, I always wondered how many dead children it took to pay for that dinner or bar bill. The public have no idea how they’re being taken.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Sorry, the whole thing gets me heated.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Don’t be, it’s a justified heat.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    My internet is back to acting like dialup.

    • R.J.

      Have you tried turning it off and on again?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Cal is still behind.

  17. mikey

    WRT our National Nightmare – The Great Chinese Spy Balloon. Long ago and far away when I was in NORAD the Key West aerostat (basically a tethered blimp carrying a radar) broke its tether and started drifting around Gulf. Several days of hilarity ensued. Jets were scrambled but had a hard time intercepting it as it was basically stationary compared to the fighters. They did manage a couple of gun passes to little effect. Such devices have a huge volume but very low internal pressure. Bullet holes are just minor leaks. As the clouds came out the blimp cooled and descended. A fisherman tied his boat to it and called the sheriff. Before the AF could arrive the clouds went away, the blimp warmed and started to rise threatening to take the boat with it. The cycle was repeated until enough helium had leaked out and the sun went down.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      LOL

      I got low-altitude buzzed by a jet while sailing in the Caribbean one time. They basically have to stand the jet on end in order to slow down enough for a visual pass.

      To say it was loud is a massive understatement.

      • Bobarian LMD

        While stationed at Irwin, adjacent to China Lake, I was buzzed late at night, at what felt like 50 ft, by a Navy jet (F14) with after-burners lit while driving to Las Vegas.

        I damn near shit my pants.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I was asleep on my bunk at about 10pm. They would do these low-altitude flybys at night to minimize getting shot at.

        I actually fell out of my bunk and was looking around the cabin crazed because I thought the boat was exploding.

    • Michael Malaise

      Do we have verification the balloon was even Chinese?

      • SDF-7

        Pretty sure the CCP said flat out it was theirs, yeah.

      • UnCivilServant

        And then got all indignant when it was shot down after collecting all the data. I’d be surprised if it hadn’t already sent it all back to beijing.

      • SDF-7

        Yup. I think that’s what most folks think.

      • Ted S.

        They’ve been claiming it’s a weather balloon, but as I said in the previous comment section, you’d think they would have made that public.

      • juris imprudent

        They should’ve gone with Hunter’s tactic – it’s not mine, but you can’t have it because it would invade my privacy.

    • grrizzly

      LOL. I’m not too bad about not drinking in the daytime.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.

    • EvilSheldon

      I only drink with meals, or while cooking meals, or during meal times. And of course, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Bloody Mary! The Breakfast of Champions!

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        Start every day with a pork chop, also know as a Guinness.

  18. whiz

    So I go to the pet store to buy some food for our cats, and there’s a car in the parking lot with a big sign in the back seat (crudely lettered, like a sign you would take to a demonstration) which says “If I wanted the government in my uterus, I would fuck as senator” I think, OK, there’s a wokester for sure.

    Inside there is a woman with half yellow hair and half black hair wearing a mask and I think to myself that must be the owner of that car. (There are maybe a half dozen cars in the lot and many people in the building, so it’s not a sure thing.) Sure enough, we check out at about the same time and I see this young lady getting into said car. Stereotypes confirmed.

    • whiz

      Oops, make that “fuck a senator.

    • SDF-7

      I’d be really tempted to print up a card: “Okay with murder? Fuck around and find out!” and leave it under her wiper.

    • Pope Jimbo

      She was buying cat food in bulk, wasn’t she?

      • whiz

        LOL, there were two big bags of some kind of food.

      • Animal

        I’m reminded of the guy who was standing in line at Wal-Mart with a fifty-pound bag of dog food in his cart. The lady behind him in line looked and asked, “Oh, do you have a dog?”

        The guy replied, “No, this is for me. I’m on the Dog Food Diet. See, when you start feeling hungry, you just eat a few pieces of dog kibble. Takes care of your appetite, it’s nutritionally complete, works great. I’ve lost forty pounds, and now that I’m out of the hospital, I’m going back on the diet.”

        “Hospital? Did the dog food make you sick?”

        “Oh, no, not at all. I was sitting in the middle of the road licking my balls and I got hit by a car.”

  19. SDF-7
    • Ownbestenemy

      The Streisand effect is lost on these people.

    • whiz

      One of the links in the article had a comment “You realise she’s already made her money from the game [JK Rowling] and boycotting it won’t accomplish anything.”

      Maybe, maybe not — depends on how the rights fees are set up.

  20. Shpip

    These guys are coming to town tomorrow, but I won’t get there because kids.

    Take ’em to see these chaps in a couple of weeks instead. Kids should be exposed to and gain appreciation of the classics.

    • R.J.

      I remember seeing them with the Honeydrippers in the eighties. Great set.

      • juris imprudent

        Late 70s for me; I remember we walked in to the venue, looked at the massive array of speakers and were like “oh, shit”.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Nick is a cool dude.

  21. Michael Malaise

    Dad move of the day (over the weekend): Daughter and friend are working at table on diamond paintings (see here) and they start talking about the Doors Soundtrack. I overhear and am, like shocked. Then they explain it’s the music that accompanies an online game called The Doors. So then I have to explain to them about the hit-or-miss band The Doors from back before I was born and that there was a movie with a soundtrack called The Doors, and I was shocked that they were talking about The Doors soundtrack, but they really weren’t.

    • Ted S.

      See where?

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        See here, young man!

    • Count Potato

      “hit-or-miss band”

      I thought their albums were pretty solid.

      • Michael Malaise

        I can only take so much Jim Morrison. Peace Frog is amazing. The End, however, is not.

  22. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Bioethics=ex post facto rationalizations for shady as fuck shit that bioethicists have already decided should be done. I wouldn’t trust someone who thought it was acceptable to use people in vegetative states for consequence free reproduction to fix me a freaking sandwich, much less frame the ethical standards of the medical indu$try.

    • UnCivilServant

      I thought people around here were Dune fans.

      • juris imprudent

        -Ix

    • Pope Jimbo

      So you and your pure ethics would deprive us of T.S. Garp?

      • Bobarian LMD

        *Points at Jimbo and screams Aarp! from tongueless mouth*

    • R C Dean

      Bioethics is mostly concerned with rationalizing the provision or withholding of health care without consent.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Lord have mercy…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah that…I mean wow,

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Definitely not built to Japanese standards.

    • whiz

      Good grief, some of those look like those demolitions gone bad videos on YouTube…

  23. The Late P Brooks

    7.8 is a really big earthquake. Just think what San Francisco would look like if they had one that big.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Everybody would drop a turd right where they were standing.

      Oh wait…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Confirmed, ELF makes you shit in the street.

  24. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Interesting article. He’s positing that the degradation of the mRNA vaccines (which the standard was lowered for) may have caused coding for random proteins to imprint on cells. Thus the vaccine which should have only caused you to produce spike protein, may be also causing to produce all sorts of random nasty stuff.

    https://boriquagato.substack.com/p/are-covid-vaccines-coding-for-that

    • Sensei

      AstraZeneca isn’t mRNA.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        He doesn’t mention AZ directly and I don’t know what the rate of degradation for adenovirus DNA vaccines is. But mRNA is quite unstable, thus the billions spent on the logistics required to get it out to the populace.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Better than Trump, nyah nyah nyah!

    Past surveillance balloons were discovered at the beginning of the Biden administration because President Joe Biden directed the intelligence community “to increase both our vigilance and the assets that we were deploying to be able to detect Chinese efforts to spy against the United States,” said national security adviser Jake Sullivan.

    “[B]ecause the intelligence community made this a priority at the direction of President Biden, we enhanced our surveillance of our territorial airspace, we enhanced our capacity to be able to detect things that the Trump administration was unable to detect,” Sullivan said at a Monday event with the US Global Leadership Coalition. “And were also able to go back and look at the historical patterns. And that led us to come to understand that during the Trump administration, as you said, there were multiple instances where the surveillance balloons traversed American airspace and American territory.”

    Give me a fucking break.

    • Sensei

      Do you not see his greatness?

    • B.P.

      The intelligence community, ever vigilant, enhanced its surveillance capabilities. Also, some folks in Billings looked up into the sky and saw the balloon.

      • Count Potato

        This.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Unable to detect balloons that are as big as a goddamn barn? Bullshit…also, did they drift across just bout the entire width of the US or did they briefly encroach?

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        LOL, our radar capabilities are far better than that and have been for many decades.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Unasked questions, just who knew about those previous attempts and didn’t bother to inform higher?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or he was notified, but it was in a footnote on a briefing paper tucked into the middle of a stack of unrelated papers on a day when he was leaving early.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Missing from the story is anything about the dates and flight paths of those balloons.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        That we failed to detect, but we know all about now.

    • Grumbletarian

      Joe’s Corvette has a flux capacitor.

    • Grumbletarian

      General: “We were completely inept until a doddering mumbler shambled into our office and whipped us into shape.”

    • Rebel Scum

      we enhanced our capacity to be able to detect things that the Trump administration was unable to detect

      OMB must have directly debilitated the existing radar and airspace monitoring infrastructure.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    And though there has been criticism that the balloon was allowed to linger for too long over the US, VanHerck said on Monday that he and the commander of US Strategic Command worked “in close coordination” and “took maximum precaution” to prevent Chinese intelligence collection.

    The balloon was detected early enough to allow the US to gather intelligence on it while it transited the US before it was shot down, VanHerck said.

    “There was a potential opportunity for us to collect intel where we had gaps on prior balloons,” he said. “And so I would defer to the intel community. But this gave us the opportunity to assess what they were actually doing, what kind of capabilities existed on the balloon, what kind of transmission capabilities existed, and I think you’ll see in the future that that time frame was well worth its value to collect over.”

    Wagons were circled. Asses were covered.

    • B.P.

      They weren’t spying on us. We were spying on them!

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      to collect intel where we had gaps on prior balloons

      One of these days, they’ll finally get around to closing the mineshaft gap.

    • Rebel Scum

      opportunity to assess what they were actually doing, what kind of capabilities existed on the balloon

      Then shoot it down immediately and collect/study the wreckage.

      This really isn’t that hard. I swear everything wrong this administration does is deliberate. No one is that incompetent.

  27. R.J.

    I just found a documentary called “The Gilligan Manifesto” where a man is trying to prove that Gilligan’s island was actually about promoting communism. It got one star!

    • creech

      Ginger or Maryanne; who was the bigger commie?

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        The Professor

      • Bobarian LMD

        Thurston was the only party member.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ginger: Hollywood starlet, handed everything on a silver platter. Probably so left wing she made Susan Sarandon look like Martin Bormann.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        If they were true commies, they would have given according to the needs of the others on the island, IYKWIM.

    • Count Potato

      Do you know who else gave out stars?

      • MikeS

        The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce?

      • Rebel Scum

        My kindergarten teacher?

      • Spudalicious

        Winston’s Mom?

  28. The Late P Brooks

    There was a team of Chinamen on board that balloon, making notes and drawings by hand. As long as they never made it home we have nothing to worry about. We managed to shoot the carrier pigeons.

  29. creech

    Cool story earlier about, I assume, a time traveler trying to put Hitler on a different path. It reminds me of the times in history where a few seconds or a few inches could have radically altered history. Like Hitler would have died by Stauffenberg’s bomb if the briefcase had fit better under the pedestal conference table. Or Washington taking numerous bullets through his coat at Braddock’s defeat. Or U.S. Grant, during the Mexican War, standing next to a captain whose head was blown off by a cannon ball. Or Lee having his cheek grazed by a minie ball at the Wilderness. Maybe we know someone like, say, Audie Murphy, only because a 100 other guys just as courageous had the misfortune to be in the wrong place by a second or an inch?

    • Lackadaisical

      Probably a transphobe.

  30. Count Potato

    “#Antifa furries & their trans allies protested a women’s rights rally in Glasgow. The government passed a bill making it easier for people to transition through self-ID despite #trans sex offenders identifying as women & being housed in women’s jails.”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1622654640041996288

    https://thepostmillennial.com/furries-protest-against-womens-rights-activists-in-scotland

    Remember Irish gun runners? How about sending guns to Scotland?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Raging arrogance facilitated by easy money from the Fed. Toddlers with power that think they understand what’s best for everyone while they have been wholly insulated from cold, hard reality their entire lives.

      To say I have disdain for them is an understatement.

  31. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Oy, I just had to relearn the rational zero theorem and synthetic division in ten minutes flat so I could help the 16 year old with her homework.