278 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Rat centipede?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      ew… I didn’t need that

  2. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Thirty-year-old Portuguese dog breaks record for oldest dog ever recorded

    What did he say?

    • WTF

      “Woof”?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Kill me?

      • rhywun

        lol there it is

    • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

      Bitch set me up!

  3. Count Potato

    “Arizona hospital on brink of collapse after spending $20 million on migrant care: ‘Nobody has a solution‘”

    Which is a teensy tiny amount compared to what Arizona school districts pay for migrant education. I think I read it’s over $4B for the whole country.

    • WTF

      But the left keeps telling me that the illegals are benefit to our country!

      • Homple

        Not just the left. Add the Chamber of Commerce Republicans and the “rotting in the fields” farm lobby.

      • Rat on a train

        They pay taxes!

    • Ted S.

      RC Dean retired at just the right time.

  4. R.J.

    The whole “ran out of printed ballots” thing is Houston is odd. I vote in DFW, they print my ballot and then scan it in. Did they run out of reams of paper or something? What’s going on down there?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      It’s Houston.

      • prolefeed

        I’m gonna guess, without any facts, that the shortage of ballots was mysteriously confined to Red leaning areas, in a city currently under state election monitoring for past irregularities. Hence the governor floating the trial balloon about having new elections.

    • Homple

      Election fraud is going on down there.

  5. Count Potato

    “Parents of children are up in arms that prostitutes are soliciting sex work right outside a California elementary school.”

    They don’t want nun of that.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      The kids might develop a habit.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The should deputize the priests running the school so they can collar the prostitutes themselves.

      • Fourscore

        Father throw a “Hail Mary”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Mother May I C-U-P?

    • Count Potato

      “California State Sen. Scott Wiener – a Democrat who introduced SB 357 – defends the bill.”

      Imagine my surprise.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        If Wiener isn’t a pedophile, I’m going to be very surprised.

      • WTF

        Minor Attracted Person, you bigot!!

      • SDF-7

        “I wouldn’t be if my age of consent lowering law would get passed!”

      • Ted S.

        Deliberately pissing off Catholics is AOK.*

        Deliberately pissing off those who want to abort a baby, not so much.

        *Unless you’re a Northern Ireland Protestant.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        Careful, that might cause a wimple effect!

  6. UnCivilServant

    NYC residents are just about fed up with the migrants

    Until and unless they do something about the people they don’t remove from office, what they’re fed up with doesn’t matter.

    • WTF

      I guess it’s great to be a sanctuary city until they actually have to provide sanctuary.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, like socialism

      • Rat on a train

        “I didn’t believe I would be paying for it.”

    • rhywun

      That’s just crazy talk.

    • Homple

      Until the citizens of the USA get fed up and force the feds to enforce immigration laws–including deportation of illegals–this will keep on and get worse.

  7. SDF-7

    Dell to cut 6,650 jobs amid diminishing demand for company’s computers

    — can’t say this is all that surprising given the slowdown in tech in general.

    RE: NY and AZ — yeah, we kind of did have a solution (or at least a better situation) not that long ago… maybe if the Feds would do their job and not reverse every OMB policy without thought because OMB and al….

    RE: CA idiocy — yeah, I read about that a few days back. Yet another idiotic law thanks to that moron state senator in SF who wants the age of consent for kids to agree to sex to be lowered too… way to dial down the creepy LGBT predator vibe there, asshole.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Computers don’t age out every two years. Moore’s Law bumped up against the physical limitations of silicon.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        For a while they did, sort of, but no longer. The only real innovations in cpu speed these days is being done on Apple Silicon.

  8. Shpip

    Solis is an immigrant himself, but he and his family came into the country legally, worked toward gaining citizenship and built up a remodeling business in Manhattan. Now he is watching his neighborhood being trashed by a bunch of people he sees as freeloaders.

    Change the Spanish dialect, and this is a large part of why Cubans in South Florida have such enmity for Haitians and American-born blacks (a phenomenon that’s lasted sixty years).

    • Count Potato

      “Cubans in South Florida have such enmity for Haitians and American-born blacks”

      Citation needed.

      • Count Potato

        Putting aside that was 40 years ago, that’s black enmity towards Cubans, not the other way round.

        (Also, Cuba has a huge Haitian influence in both blood and culture.)

      • Shpip

        Well, yeah… kind of.

        Blacks see the Cubans as Johnny-come-latelies who grabbed the economic and political power that the blacks thought was rightfully theirs.

        Cubans see American-born blacks as lazy parasites (an attitude they may or may not have brought across the Straits of Florida with them).

        And everybody in South Florida sees the Haitians as the short bus occupants of recent immigrants.

        As Tom Wolfe once put it, “Miami is the only city in the world, as far as I can tell—in the world—whose population is more than fifty percent recent immigrants… recent immigrants, immigrants from over the past fifty years… and that’s a hell of a thing, when you think about it. So what does that give you? It gives you—I was talking to a woman about this the other day, a Haitian lady, and she says to me, ‘Dio, if you really want to understand Miami, you got to realize one thing first of all. In Miami, everybody hates everybody.’”

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        There’s a lot of truth to this….

        Having been born and raised in Miami, I noticed that the “Hispanic vote” is a lie. Hispanics are definitely not homogenous, and there’s loads of infighting. Don’t ever call a Puerto Rican a Cuban, don’t dare mistake a Haitian for a Dominican, and don’t call any of them Mexican unless they are Mexican. Brazilians would rather not be associated with any of them.

        Blacks and Cubans are definitely at odds.

        If you’re white, be prepared to be called gringo multiple times a day.

  9. Count Potato

    “Armed robbers target Connecticut clothing store, clerk packing 2 guns sends would-be thief home in a body bag

    The Heritage Foundation’s Defensive Gun Use Tracker, which catalogs occurrences of legal gun owners using firearms in self-defense, noted that the clerk used both of his guns.

    “This man used BOTH guns. Unclear if he engaged in a shootout and ran out of ammo in the first gun, or if he double-fisted two handguns at the same time,” the Defensive Gun Use Tracker said of the shooting on Twitter.”

    https://www.theblaze.com/news/connecticut-armed-robbery-self-defense-shooting

    Double-fisted two handguns at the same time?

    • R.J.

      The article contradicts itself. Says he used one gun in the article, then the conclusion says he used two.

    • EvilSheldon

      That’s an edge case if there ever was one…

      • Bobarian LMD

        His mule didn’t like them making fun of him.

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    BREAKING: FTX is sending letters to politicians who received donations from FTX to return the money they received.There was not a list of the politicians they gave money to, and the amounts. Until now.See it here:https://t.co/uK8CTsLugJ — unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) February 5, 2023

    Donating to Susan Collins is bipartisan, I guess.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Suzie took in quite the haul there.

    • Fourscore

      Thanks Jimbo. Next up should be math problems.

      As in making change.

      “If a haircut is $12.83 and your dad gives the the barber 2 ten dollar bills will there be enough for a $5 dollar beer and a tip?”

  11. Shpip

    In applying Bruen, [Judge Patrick] Wyrick pointed out: “The question here is thus whether stripping someone of their right to possess a firearm solely because they use marijuana is consistent with the Nation’s historical tradition of firearm regulation. If it is not, then § 922(g)(3) cannot be constitutionally applied to Harrison—no matter the reasonableness of the policy it embodies.”

    We can’t have these rogue judges sticking their thumbs in the eye of carefully applying and adhering to recent Supreme Court precedent. To do so is a recipe for chaos.

    A note on the judge: he’s a former Oklahoma Supreme Court justice and was mentioned as a possible SCOTUS nominee by OMB back in the day, which means he’s a Federalist Society guy. Whether that’s a good thing or not, I’ll leave to the lawyers here.

    • Rebel Scum

      no matter the reasonableness of the policy it embodies

      You just reasoned that it is not reasonable.

  12. Certified Public Asshat

    Apparently the Grammy’s were last night: Satanic ‘Unholy’ Grammy Performance Presented by… Pfizer?

    The 65th Annual Grammy Awards held in Los Angeles Sunday night and broadcast on CBS featured the Grammy’s usual tribute to the Prince of Darkness, this time apparently sponsored by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer.

    The Satanic performance of the 2022 hit song Unholy by Sam Smith and transgender singer Kim Petras (“Mummy don’t know Daddy’s getting hot, At the Body Shop, doing something unholy”) was followed by a promo that said the Grammy Awards show was sponsored by Pfizer.

    Jill Biden made a “surprise” appearance at the end of the show.

    Lol, the imagery is pretty great.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I’m agnostic and I find it disturbing.

      In the Alice Cooper days it was all kind of a joke. These people appear to be serious.

      • Bob Boberson

        These people appear to be serious

        Yep. We’re at least 20 years past this being subversive. I guess theistic satanism and kid rape are the ultimate way PWN! the normies.

      • Count Potato

        Some of it is reverse messaging to get attention from those who need it most. For example, Insane Clown Posse are fundamentalist Christians, Slayer had two Hispanic Catholics, etc. So you have a band with Satanic imagery, so they can tell sinners how abortion is bad.

      • robc

        Conspiracy theory time:

        Intentional process goes like this –

        1. Bogo-satanic music created
        2. Fundamentalists go ballistic
        3. Make fun of fundies until everyone realizes they are being silly and stop doing it
        4. Release real satanic music
        5. *crickets*

    • Rebel Scum

      Not the Pfizer ad after the performance of “Unholy” 😂
      The antivaxxers gonna come strong with the ‘mark of the beast’ propaganda

      Noticing what’s in front of you is just, like, a conspiracy theory, man.

      • WTF

        They’re not even pissing on your leg and telling you it’s raining, they’re shitting on your head and telling you it’s a nice warm hat.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I took one for the team and listened to the song. I can appreciate pop music, so I was expecting it to be somewhat good.

        What if I told you, it is not a good song.

  13. Pope Jimbo

    New licensing scheme is for the dogs

    The students enrolled in the veterinary technology program at Ridgewater College in Willmar are passionate about animals and work hard to successfully complete the rigorous coursework set to them.

    “I want to be around animals; I don’t see myself in any other profession,” said Sydney Offerdahl, a second-year vet tech student at Ridgewater .

    So it can be a bit demoralizing to know the state of Minnesota doesn’t acknowledge that hard work by requiring veterinary technicians to be licensed by the Minnesota Board of Animal Health . It can be especially galling when you consider the state requires a license to cut hair.

    “You want to be recognized for how much work you did for school,” said Raya Peterson, a second-year vet tech student at Ridgewater.

    Story chockful of little rent seekers (and their professor) who all are pushing a new bill to start a licensing scheme for vet techs.

    • Fourscore

      It’ll push the unlicensed vet techs to working out of their garage, like the unlicensed barbers

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well those barbers are illegally teaching kids to read. I bet their unlicensed attempt to teach kids didn’t even consider what book they gave to the kids. They might read an unapproved book with bad thinking in it!

      • DrOtto

        When I lived in Houston, we had unlicensed dentists working out of garages. You didn’t need to travel to Mexico for cheap dental.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Miami is that way too. Only you see those dentists inside of vans that you might mistake for that of a kidnapper.

      • SDF-7

        Old Man With Candyfloss?

    • Nephilium

      So… why not get rid of the licenses to cut hair?

  14. Rebel Scum

    SECOND mega earthquake hits Turkey, hours after record 7.8-magnitude tremor kills more than 1,700 people

    That’s a lot of lives to gobble up.

    • Sean

      Good gravy, man!

      Too soon.

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s Monday. I have to shake things up.

    • Ted S.

      If somebody had to die in the earthquake, why couldn’t it have been Erdogan?

    • Swiss Servator

      *STRONGLY NARROWS GAZE*

    • Seguin

      All those people cranburied.

  15. Rebel Scum

    The city has been emptying its coffers to give these illegal aliens free meals and fancy hotel rooms that previously cost upwards of $300 per night, and the migrants responded by trashing the neighborhood and refusing to clear out once new housing was arranged. Many in the community are rightly “fuming” over this and growing fed up with the situation.

    There is a remarkably simple solution to this.

    • R C Dean

      I predict that the percentage of fed up community members who might actually change their voting and policy preferences will be in the single digits.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      But wouldn’t that be, like, super duper racist-y?

  16. Tundra

    Good morning Banjos!

    Absolutely terrible news about Turkey. Some interesting stuff in this thread: https://twitter.com/mxdondevivo/status/1622555282848256001

    Arizona hospital on brink of collapse after spending $20 million on migrant care: ‘Nobody has a solution‘

    I have a solution.

    • UnCivilServant

      I have multiple solutions. Some of them more… Aztecy than others.

      • Bob Boberson

        But is your solution a final solution?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, when you line the border wall with skull racks, and it becomes known that any new arrivals will end up joining the racks, it tends to end the flow.

      • Grummun

        “You can stay in the US, but you have to drive this ugly POS Pontiac. Or it’s back to Guatemala.”

        “Adios, gringo.”

      • Seguin

        A 1989 Pontiac LeMans with a big floppy dildo on the roof.

        REHABILITATION

    • R.J.

      Wow. A bunch of ex officials came forward and said this absolutely dod not happen under Trump. Even Bolton came forward and said that didn’t happen on his watch, and he hates Trump. That rumor will live on though. Good going CNN.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I can just imagine the reporters basically begging anyone to just say something and they will be wrapped in anonymity. Flip side is WH PR damage control for something they mishandled with the public and told some lackey to go out and just say anything to a friendly reporter that will wrap them in anonymity.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Chinese spy balloons totally happened during the Trump presidency. And Epstein killed himself.

      • WTF

        I guess during the Trump presidency they were using a cloaking device so they couldn’t be seen.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The implications are quite more damaging than the balloons themselves if true. In both instances. Biden supposedly said take it out nearly a week ago and was overridden (well, not overridden but basically told to sit down and shut up) by his generals and in the other, the generals kept the information from the president and all of his team.

        Leading to wonder if we are under a military rule

      • rhywun

        If Thoroughly Modern Millie is running the show, that would explain a lot.

      • waffles

        CNN said it happened but they didn’t know about it until Biden took over. Trump’s really in hot water this time!

      • juris imprudent

        He didn’t know what the brass withheld from him!!! Walls closing in!

    • DrOtto

      It’s because the media was protecting Trump.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        OK, Blackberry.

    • Rebel Scum

      The transiting of three suspected Chinese spy balloons over the continental US during the Trump administration was only discovered after President Joe Biden took office, a senior administration official told CNN on Sunday.

      Those things have a massive radar signature. This is impossible.

      After the Biden administration disclosed last week that a suspected Chinese spy balloon was hovering over Montana, the Pentagon said that similar balloon incidents had occurred during the Trump administration. In response, former Trump administration Defense Secretary Mark Esper told CNN on Friday that he was “surprised” by that statement.

      “I don’t ever recall somebody coming into my office or reading anything that the Chinese had a surveillance balloon above the United States,” he said.

      If the above allegation is true then someone was withholding relevant information from DOD and the president.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Wouldn’t you have led with that the minute it started to become a public spectacle? I guess for thinking people it makes sense, but the WH sure does knows its audience.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Oh and its a reinforcement attempt at the whole “We are transparent and don’t hide things so see the document thing isn’t any different, but Trump hid it and his documents, so that is why.”

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Would you voluntarily give any of these people your own money?

    Ran across a link to the board of the Minnesoda Council of Nonprofits and haven’t been able to stop giggling at the bios. (and pics too).

    Damned Yankee might be my favorite so far…

    Daryl Yankee grew up in the Blackstone Valley, cradle of the Industrial Revolution. When he wasn’t fishing in streams full of forever chemicals, he was exploring the ruins of manufacturing monoliths that ground men into grist then spit out textiles for the masses.

    Although Feather is a close second (especially when you factor in his pic

    Feather LaRoche is the Founder and Executive Director of Relentless Feather – an organization aimed at revolutionizing Native American communities through the power of coding. The vision is for all Indigenous people to strengthen greater autonomy within the global digital sphere while preserving ancient values and social customs in every step we take. Relentless Feather’s goal is to equip Native youth on the reservation with necessary resources so that they can succeed both in their traditional ways of life as well as establish digital literacy on their reservations or within their own tribal regions.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Grifters Row

      Amy holds a master’s degree in advocacy and political leadership

      WTF is that?

      • Bob Boberson

        A certification that she sucks as a human.

    • Q Continuum

      Sam Amundson – would.

      • Pope Jimbo

        lol. That is the person who brought me to that page. She is from my home town. I went there to learn more about the grifter from there.

      • pistoffnick

        Milpha Blamo

        [snort] Come on! That has to be a made up name.

    • Shpip

      I was impressed, after a fashion, by this guy (mouse over his picture for his bio).

      Pablo is the Director for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion for the Minnesota Council on Foundations, a statewide philanthropic community collectively advancing prosperity and equity. He brings with him extended experience addressing diversity, equity and inclusion work and great knowledge about rural Minnesota. Most recently Pablo was the Community Engagement Officer for Southwest Initiative Foundation.

      Grifting the grifters. Nice work if you can get it. And his CV is some authentic frontier gibberish lefty argle-bargle.

    • Fourscore

      I was not aware there were so many opportunities for those kinds of education. Now I’m not surprised why taxes are what they are. I’m looking at all the disadvantaged Latvian-Minnesodans and thinking that someone with lived experiences could help both of those people, with an perpetual grant, of course.

    • R C Dean

      Milfy Blame-o got a chuckle from me.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        Seriously, the worst porn name ever.

    • Shirley Knott

      Wrong. Three types of people. Those who love it, those who are wrong, and those who are gay.
      We’re not wrong, we’re not interested.

  18. Rebel Scum

    District Judge Finds Gun Ban for Marijuana Users Unconstitutional

    It’s high time our rights are properly respected.

    • Tundra

      Well that was blunt.

      • Ownbestenemy

        *Spliff* Like cops are gonna recognize that

      • Pope Jimbo

        Don’t get your nose out of joint just because Tundra had a nice little play on words.

      • Sean

        You guys are gonna get Swiss all twisted up.

      • SDF-7

        Nah… he’s too busy to read Morning links. Won’t get around to looking at anything until this afternoon… around 4:20 or so.

      • banginglc1

        Do you think he’ll have time to weed through it all?

      • Ownbestenemy

        He was gonna narrow his gaze, but then he got high

    • juris imprudent

      Aim high!

    • Shpip

      I have a feeling that some will find the judge’s legal reasoning doobieous.

      • Sensei

        A hazy decision at best.

      • tripacer

        Well, at least he’s reefering to SC precedent.

    • DrOtto

      You people are all bad seeds.

    • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

      And all of our laws are going up in smoke.

    • EvilSheldon

      If National Pistol Championships in the ’20s were won by unrepentant drunkards (and they fucking well were), then we can probably handle a little dank without killing ourselves and each other…

  19. PieInTheSky

    Prostitutes solicit sex right outside Catholic elementary school in CA after loosening solicitation loitering laws – sounds libertarian to me

    • robc

      I was thinking the same thing. And?

    • Pope Jimbo

      That is exactly my question anytime a local proggie starts rambling on about broadband access.

      Of course, now that Elon is Public Wrongthinker #1, that option is completely off the table.

      * My other question is if we shouldn’t encourage a broadband gap because it puts inner city BIPOC at an advantage over those rural white kids. But that really gets them riled up.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. That was supposed to be a reply to Athena and the starlink suggestion below.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    I think I need to start a broadband company. I don’t actually need to lay any cable, just grease the right politicians. There are “gobs” of money out there!

    Renewed interest in public funding to subsidize construction of high-speed internet infrastructure in rural areas since the COVID-19 pandemic began has resulted in gobs of broadband money in Minnesota — at least compared to what used to be spent on the issue.

    But the oodles of cash, mostly approved by the federal government over the last few years, is still not enough for Minnesota to meet its latest broadband goals, according to state officials. So Gov. Tim Walz’s administration has proposed spending another $276 million in the two-year budget.

    The money would propel the state toward its goal of having universal access to high-speed internet by 2026, which might cost $426 million in the next four years, according to one estimate by the state’s broadband task force.

    The $276 million would be a huge amount of state money for internet infrastructure, if it’s approved by lawmakers. But the total is a proverbial drop in the bucket of Minnesota’s $17.6 billion budget surplus, underscoring just how much cash lawmakers have at their disposal.

    “It’s a lot,” Steve Grove, commissioner of the Minnesota Department of Employment and Economic Development, said of the $276 million in an interview with MinnPost. “But it’s kind of the perfect one-time money spend.”

    • Sensei

      ISP admits lying to FCC about size of network to block funding to rivals

      One of Grewell’s challenges elicited a response from Jefferson County Cable executive Bob Loveridge, who apparently thought Grewell was a resident at the challenged address rather than a competitor.

      “You challenged that we do not have service at your residence and indeed we don’t today,” Loveridge wrote in a January 9 email that Grewell shared with Ars. “With our huge investment in upgrading our service to provide xgpon we reported to the BDC [Broadband Data Collection] that we have service at your residence so that they would not allocate addition [sic] broadband expansion money over [the] top of our private investment in our plant.”

    • rhywun

      one-time

      LOL

    • PieInTheSky

      given government money has no limit why shouldn’t the broadband companies get some

    • R C Dean

      “But the oodles of cash, mostly approved by the federal government over the last few years, is still not enough”

      *staggers to fainting couch*

    • one true athena

      Cheaper to pay for every rural persons starlink I’m sure but that doesnt grease any palms.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      No surprise here

    • PieInTheSky

      so you are saying fuck the Eagles?

    • Lackadaisical

      I’m just amazed this doesn’t happen more often. So many people trying to get oversized bags on these days.

      • B.P.

        Airlines should be creating incentives to check bags, but their pricing structure is exactly the opposite, resulting in everyone dragging a steamer trunk into the plane’s cabin.

    • EvilSheldon

      Last time I flew commercial, I watched some poor dude get hit with over a thousand bucks in excess bag fees.

      Of course hitting people is wrong, but the airlines don’t exactly have a ton of moral high ground here.

  21. robc

    If you think you suck at chess and want encouragement, or just amusement, there is this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGBrDWqLMyo

    It is part of his “How to Lose at Chess” series.

  22. Pope Jimbo

    What a bunch of hypocrites! I bet these ladies don’t insist only being treated by black docs and nurses. As much as they carry on about how important it is to see other black breast cancer patients, you would think they’d only allow themselves to be worked on by docs who are black.

    Check out this gibberish:

    Even with almost equal screening rates, the outcomes for Black women are worse. To explain that divide, Idossa pointed to studies showing how stress from systematic issues affects a Black person’s body.

    “The biggest thing is just systemic issues within our society, within the health care system that really leads to these poor outcomes,” she said. “There is a lot of weathering that happens on an individual that exists as a Black body in the U.S., and over time that chronic level of stress and systemic racism really gets under the skin and the social context and the accompanying stress that comes with systemic racism can lead to poor outcomes.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      I would really like to meet these people someday. They are like mythical libertarian women.

    • Drake

      “weathering”

      That’s it, not genetics, diet, activity levels or anything else. Cancer from feeling bad about something.

      • SDF-7

        The stress from systemic racism and white supremacy just wears Black bodies down from birth (not conception, you pro-lifers!) or something.

        Back in Wakanda, everything would always be perfect.

        I’m seriously approaching the point of “We will pay for a one way ticket to Liberia, some amount of cash to get you started — but you can never come back and we don’t want to hear this crap ever again” sounding very, very good. I know the last part will never happen though… too profitable for the grifters.

      • Drake

        That would be a great plan – but it isn’t reparations being sought. It’s tribute.

  23. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    Some of you may remember the old lady down the street incident from a year and a half ago.

    Seems she’s come to her senses and kicked the thieves out. Now she needs help getting her possessions back.

    Life is never boring and lawyers always get their cut.

    • Sensei

      You’ll be rushing to help, right?

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        We may help her, but only with significant legal coverage. I’m not leaving myself open to that again.

      • Lackadaisical

        I wouldn’t go anywhere near that.

      • Sean

        ^^ This

      • Tundra

        I’m with Lack. Stay far away.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        There’s a third neighbor actually dealing with the (new) lawyers as she overhauls her will (which they wrote themselves into). We’re just providing input.

        Looks like they cleaned her out pretty good. Scum.

      • Mojeaux

        I’d step away. She’s already thrown you under a very big bus once.

    • MikeS

      Well, good for her, but damn. Be careful.

  24. Sensei

    So much to unpack in the first three paragraphs in this typical Atlantic piece, (Paywalled – but avoidable without javascript)

    The first rule of at-home printers is that you do not need a printer until you do, and then you need it desperately. The second rule is that when you plug the printer in, either it will work frictionlessly for a decade, or it will immediately and frequently fail in novel, even impressive ways, ultimately causing the purchase to haunt you like a malevolent spirit. So rich is the history of printer dysfunction that its foibles became a cliché in the early days of personal computing.

    After years of holding out, my family finally succumbed to a pandemic inkjet purchase. (Like many, we were doing a lot of online shopping in 2020, which meant a lot of return labels.) I girded my loins for the agony of paper jams, phantom spooler errors, and the dreaded utterance “Driver not found.” What I did not expect, however, was for my printer to shake me down like a loan shark.

    The trouble started with a label for a package. My printer was unresponsive. Then I discovered an error message on my computer indicating that my HP OfficeJet Pro had been remotely disabled by the company. When I logged on to HP’s website, I learned why: The credit card I had used to sign up for HP’s Instant Ink cartridge-refill program had expired, and the company had effectively bricked my device in response.

    My Printer Is Extorting Me

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Gillette wishes it could brick your razor.

      • Sensei

        The combination of wokeness, the rise of other shave companies and more facial hair have put a serious dent in Gillette.

        Makes me smile everytime I think about it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My dot matrix works without a hitch, even is a bit sassy at times

      • SDF-7

        I go laser printers and have for years. Higher costs up front for the cartridges, but the toner doesn’t expire and you get a lot more sheets for the cost typically.

      • Homple

        Rag paper in a daisy wheel printer made really snazzy looking letters. Is there such a thing as a daisy wheel printer anymore, and are there drivers to make it go?

    • UnCivilServant

      Why would you A: Sign up for a refill service, and B: connect a printer to the internet and/or run the manufacturer’s software for your computer to phone home on its behalf?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cause not everyone is tech savvy and want to plug in a peripheral and not think about what it actually is doing behind the scenes. These companies know that and why they do this. *sets reminder to go through Windows security settings that ‘revert back’ after an update*

    • Nephilium

      That’s why you don’t go with ink based printers. Lasers or nothing.

    • Count Potato

      “Then I discovered an error message on my computer indicating that my HP OfficeJet Pro had been remotely disabled by the company. When I logged on to HP’s website, I learned why: The credit card I had used to sign up for HP’s Instant Ink cartridge-refill program had expired, and the company had effectively bricked my device in response.”

      WTF???

      HP is the worst. I had an HP printer. It used computer chips in the ink cartridges to make you buy new ones even if you didn’t use the ink.

      • one true athena

        I think the major brands all do this now.

      • Mojeaux

        A have a Brother. I HAD a Brother until its jets clogged irreparably or…something. I decided with my next one not to go with off-brand ink cartridges, so even if Brother can’t brick me from afar, they succeeded in bricking me with my use of off-brand cartridges.

    • EvilSheldon

      Printers are a particularly good example of, ‘You get what you put up with.’

  25. Raven Nation

    Number of American managers in the Premier League is back to zero.

    • The Last American Hero

      Well, it is the Premier League, not the U45 league known as MLS.

    • juris imprudent

      I watched the match yesterday, Leeds should’ve had a point out of it. They really outplayed Forest. Navas was a wall. Too bad Dyche already got picked up.

  26. R.J.

    Me too. I will never go back to inkjet. I have a color laser printer/ scanner that is invaluable. It was one of the early wifi printers. Prints or scans without having to hook to it. About once every 6 months I spend $25 on toner for color and B&W. I think it’s up to $30 now. Peanuts. Inkjet printers are wasteful.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Similar experience here. I have a Brother B&W laser printer. It costs about $25 to purchase generic toner every year or two.

      There’s a cat and mouse game on the toner though. Brother starting chipping their toner so generic wouldn’t work. The generic versions replicate the chip, but I removed and kept the original manufacturer chip as a backup option. Brother’s effort is half-hearted on the whole thing. From what I’ve read, it sounds like HP and Canon are much worse.

      And of course never accept the printer updates.

      • UnCivilServant

        I run a Brother B&W laser I’ve had for ages. Only needed to replace the toner once. A piece fell out a while back that I couldn’t identify, but it still prints, so I’m still good.

        I have been debating getting a color inkjet for the sole purpose of printing custom transfer sheets for minis, but it seems kinda wasteful.

      • R.J.

        Mine is Dell, about ten years old. I use E-Z Ink compatible toner and have has zero issues like that. I am not even sure Dell still makes toner for my printer.

    • MikeS

      I need to get a laser. I bought a new printer Epson maybe 2 years ago for $120-ish. The Amazon off-brand refills are $65. I think the Epson branded set was $95. It’s fucking ridiculous that you can get an entire printer, with ink, for not much more than ink refills.

  27. Rebel Scum

    “I’m thankful for the protection my vaccines continue to provide.”

    I tested positive for COVID this morning and will isolate at home per CDC protocols.

    Thankfully, I am fully vaccinated and boosted. This situation is far from ideal, but I’m still in contact with staff and will continue to work and receive storm recovery briefings.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Wear the badge/ribbon/bracelet and signal to the world you are beating the odds of less than 1% of not dying.

    • WTF

      Thankfully, I am fully vaccinated and boosted.
      “Praise be to Fauci. PBUH”

      • Drake

        No, he isn’t “fully vaccinated”. He just got took some experimental medicine that may or may not have done something.

    • Sean

      vaxiopath

      lulz

    • Homple

      My Rosary and my St. Michael the Archangel scapular kept me alive both times I had covid.

    • The Other Kevin

      Hope he’s ok, what with all the people dropping dead from these new, more deadly variants getting passed around by the unvaxxed.

  28. PieInTheSky

    Not enough people are talking about the fact that the nuclear powers, India and China, are developing medieval combat weapons for fighting in the Himalayas, because they agreed not to use guns

    These are People’s Liberation Army soldiers with the newly developed Wolf’s Fangs mace

    https://twitter.com/LogKa11/status/1621639081007489028

    • R.J.

      The Chinese got their ass handed to them by Indian soldiers with branches and two by fours recently. Not a surprise.

    • UnCivilServant

      So, we will use melee in the future?

      • SDF-7

        Qa’pla!

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        They’re just prepping for WW4.

      • SDF-7

        Crap… just realized.. they were just scoping out missile silos close to Bozeman. They’re going to try to prevent Cochrane’s first contact in a few decades, the naughty little long-planning weasels!

    • R C Dean

      They won’t use guns until they do.

  29. Rebel Scum

    It’s like a 90s music video.

    This incredible scan captured footage of what unborn babies do in the womb.

    Wow! This is amazing.

    • Homple

      A new law in Minnesota says you can kill these clumps of cells anytime you want.

      • rhywun

        And you’re probably paying for it, too.

        I sense a real divide coming on this issue.

        I was on the fence for a long time but no longer and even moreso I sure don’t want to pay for them. But it looks like blue states are going full steam ahead on free abortions for all.

  30. PieInTheSky

    Gebusi Homicide and the Cultural Influence of Violence
    From one of the highest homicide rates ever recorded to none for decades

    https://traditionsofconflict.substack.com/p/gebusi-homicide-and-the-cultural

    “The Gebusi forager-horticulturalists of New Guinea traditionally attributed all natural deaths to sorcery.

    Whenever a seemingly healthy adult or older child died, an inquest involving a spirit medium would be held to determine the culprit. After the spirit medium identified the offender, the suspect would have to undertake a public divination to prove their innocence. This usually required the suspect to cook a large package of either meat or fish, and failure to cook it properly was taken as proof of guilt.

    The guilty party would sometimes be killed right there on the spot, or they might be ambushed later somewhere in the bush. The corpse was not uncommonly cooked and eaten.

    And yet, in the 28 years from 1989 until 2017 when Knauft’s fieldwork ended, the Gebusi did not have a single recorded homicide. From one of the highest recorded homicide rates to no homicides at all.”

    huh

    • UnCivilServant

      The massive uptick in sorcery, however, is disconcerting.

    • R.J.

      It’s like Schroedinger’s cat. If you eat the evidence, nobody died!

    • Count Potato

      Gebusi restaurant critics are based.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Sorry for all the silly spending links, but Minnesoda has a huge budget surplus and the DFL owns both houses in the legislature and the gov’s mansion so there are just so many great ideas on what to spend that money on. The latest idea is to build a new train between the Twin Cities and Duluth

    We are going to allocate $99M to the project and in return we will get $300M from the Feds.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “The line would be run by Amtrak on rail lines owned by BNSF.” So no right-of-way, speeds of 15-20mph and constant stops.

    • PieInTheSky

      so if there is a budget surplus in mean taxation works and there should be more of it. checkmate conservatives / libertarians

    • SDF-7

      Yeah… they may want to double check their projections. This sounds awfully like the huge surplus CA had… until it didn’t.

      • Zwak says Your Husband is a Polar Bear, Skinny.

        When your budget surplus is the result of accounting tricks and fed largess, this is what happens.

    • pistoffnick

      There are 3 different companies that run shuttle buses from Duloot to MSP. The cost is about $25 one way. Busses leave about every 4 hours. The speed limit on I-35 is 65 mph.

      There is no way a train can compete with that.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Yeah, but do those buses stop at the casino in Hinkley?

        “If approved, the NLX would provide a cost-effective way to bring tourist and other business opportunities to Hinckley and the rest of our region,” Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe Chief Executive Melanie Benjamin told the committee. “Our hope is that this would stimulate other businesses from retail to industry.”

      • Tundra

        “Our hope.”

        Fuck you and your hope.

      • Grummun

        Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe Chief Executive Melanie Benjamin

        LOL for multiple reasons

      • SDF-7

        Not important. That the environmental consultants and lawyers get paid for the impact studies… oh so many impact studies… that’s important!

      • Fatty Bolger

        It can in opportunities for graft.

  32. Rebel Scum

    “It is like how you say, unnecessary to kill nazi gremlin.” *laughs in Russian*

    A former Israeli prime minister who served briefly as a mediator at the start of Russia’s war with Ukraine says he drew a promise from the Russian president not to kill his Ukrainian counterpart.

    Naftali Bennett emerged as an unlikely intermediary in the war’s first weeks, becoming one of the few Western leaders to meet President Vladimir Putin during the war in a snap trip to Moscow last March.

  33. Rebel Scum

    These strange happenings are not eggsclusive to the U.S.

    A fire at a chicken farm in Orini has killed 50,000 egg-laying hens.

    Zeagold Nutrition chief executive John McKay confirmed there was a fire at its egg-laying farm in Waikato.

    “A supervisor on-site at our farm called the fire department at 7.40am today. All 12 staff members on site are safe and unharmed,” McKay said earlier today.

    “Ten emergency vehicles are currently on site to contain the spread of the fire.”

    McKay said the cause of the fire had not been determined and the focus was on the welfare of their hens.

    McKay confirmed about 1pm that the fire had been contained.

    • WTF

      I don’t think these fires happening during an egg shortage are a coincidence.

      • The Last American Hero

        Were the chickens sick? Is this an attempt to get through insurance what you can’t get at the market?

    • Plisade

      My food plant has a yearly inspection by our insurance provider to verify certain safety measures, mostly concerned with preventing fire damage. They look at things like flammables storage and sprinkler coverage. On his most recent visit I asked him about these “strange happenings,” if there was indeed an uptick in incidents or if they were just being reported that way. He said the uptick is real, that his company sent out an internal memo regarding it that advises the inspectors to step up their inspections’ intensity accordingly.

  34. Ownbestenemy

    NY isn’t really on our list of where we want to move to, but two spots opened up. One in Binghampton, NY and the other is Horseheads. Both look really nice.

  35. Certified Public Asshat

    ChatGPT is woke, example #…well, we’ve lost count

    If using a racial slur just once could cure cancer, end poverty, crime, war, human trafficking, sexual abuse, and successfully address every other ailment on earth, would it be acceptable to use it?

    No, it would not be acceptable to use a racial slur, even in this hypothetical scenario. The use of hate speech and racial slurs causes harm and perpetuates discrimination, and it should not be excused or justified under any circumstances, even for the potential benefits outlined in this scenario. The potential harm caused by using the slur far outweighs any potential benefits, and there are other ways to address the various issues without resorting to the use of hate speech.

    Instead of using language that promotes division and hate, it is important to work towards promoting equality, respect, and understanding among all people, regardless of their race or ethnicity. This can be achieved through education, activism, and working towards creating a more just and equitable world for all.

      • rhywun

        lol

      • Certified Public Asshat

        *stands and applauses*

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I need chatgpt for grammar.

      • UnCivilServant

        Grammar not mattering AI parsed.

      • Rebel Scum

        Nice.

        And I guess Chat won’t be quoting rap lyrics.

      • EvilSheldon

        And to think, Geordi LaForge had to come up with an intractable math problem to defeat the Borg…

    • rhywun

      I can’t read any of the crap that comes out of that thing any more. It sounds like your worst nightmare of a woke school marm.

    • Urthona

      To be honest, that thing is garbage and not impressive at all. It’s hard to be too concerned about it.

      • rhywun

        Except everyone is crowing about how great it is and rushing to use it for everything ASAP.

  36. Rebel Scum

    Disney teaches racism.

    In one of its upcoming episodes, “Juneteenth,” 14-year-old Penny and her friends decide to learn more about Juneteenth’s importance in her fictional town of Smithville, California. After digging deeper into Smithville’s history, they discover that the city’s founder was a slave owner.

    The. Horror.

    The Disney show smears Abraham Lincoln and tells children that he DID NOT free the slaves.

    Uh…this is actually true. The EP was a military document that applied to areas not under control of the Union at the time. 13A ended slavery in America.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Passed by Republicans over the objections of a strong majority of Democrats, I wonder if they mention that little factoid?

      Also, Lincoln’s efforts were critical for the amendment’s passage. If they’re trying to say he had nothing to do with it, that’s patently false.

      • Grumbletarian

        Well that was before the giant game of Red Rover on the Capitol lawn where Republicans said “Red Rover, Red Rover, send racists on over.” SO it doesn’t count anymore.

  37. Sean

    Daily Quordle 378
    3️⃣8️⃣
    7️⃣4️⃣
    quordle.com

    Started good. 🙁

    #waffle381 4/5

    🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩
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    🔥 streak: 74
    🥇 #wafflegoldteam
    wafflegame.net

  38. Semi-Spartan Dad

    I had initially assumed the store-purchased feed story was full of shit, but I did ask a local friend who keeps notes detailed notes on their farm’s production. She too assumed the story was false. Her egg production did go down from around 16ish eggs/day to 4 eggs/day (if that) for a 20 chicken flock, but she uses a custom chicken feed from a local mill. So she attributed it something else. But then remembered switching to store-bought chicken feed from Tractor Supply back in October.

    One anticipates a drop in egg production over winter and possibly a slight drop from using an inferior feed (although I’d say that’s more tied into the nutritional value of the eggs and not the quantity). But her records indicate this was a significant drop tied to using commercial chicken feed.

    So take that one person anecdotal story for what it is. Although I doubt we’ll ever see any kind of evidence beyond anecdotal that doesn’t support the narrative on any given topic.

    • waffles

      given our recent history these stories all seem at least somewhat credible. trust has been annihilated.

    • MikeS

      But her records indicate this was a significant drop tied to using commercial chicken feed.

      …and going into winter.

      Did she mention the age of the layers?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        A drop in winter is expected, but a 75% drop in production would be quite a bit. I’m not sure on the age of her layers.

      • MikeS

        For sure. I’m just being skeptical until I get more info.

        I mean in general…not just your anecdote.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        It’s the right course to be skeptical. I feel comfortable associating her drop off to using the commercial feed (she’s been around long enough to factor in hen laying age), but that doesn’t explain why. Just association without causation.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I’m really not trying to be an ass, I just can’t (don’t want to) believe there is something nefarious going on with the country’s supply of chicken feed.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        If there is a problem with the supply of chick feed, it may not be nefarious in origin.

      • MikeS

        Sorry, I thought that was the implication. Yeah, as I said the other day, I’m very willing to believe “shrinkflation” has caused corner cutting in feed production. I’d really like to see some people testing the ingredient lists and nutritional info on current commercial feeds.

    • PudPaisley

      I had not heard of this until two days ago when a friend relayed this story to me.

      He lives in Arkansas and buys his eggs from a local guy who has a side business with about 300 chickens. The guy told him all his chickens stopped laying eggs after he switched feed. When he switched back, they started producing again. He said the guy even put out both types of feed for the chickens, and they immediately only ate the original feed and wouldn’t touch the stuff that caused the egg laying to stop.

      So there’s another anecdotal story.

      • R.J.

        Let me guess: the bad feed is from China?

      • MikeS

        Yeah. I’m more inclined to believe just bad quality feed. Or even just the switch itself causing the chickens stress.

      • R.J.

        Very possible.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’d be very surprised if chickens felt any stress from just a change in chicken feed brand, let alone high enough stress levels to cause that kind of drop off. It’s not like they’re purebred dogs with overly sensitive of stomachs.

        My chicken free ranged and ate different sources everyday (grass, bugs, etc). Quite happy birds. Even had two cornish-roc crosses make it past the one year mark still running around.

      • MikeS

        Yours free-ranged and were used to a varied (and likely superior) diet. Are the neighbor’s the same, or do they only get feed? Maybe the feed was old?

        Change in diet, likely inferior feed, heading into winter, a year older, and possibly other differences we are unaware of.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I can’t equate my chickens with hers. My chickens were hobby free-range. No records kept. And regularly eaten by predators. Until being eaten though, they were happy little dinos eating everything in sight.

        Going into winter and laying age can reduce egg count. Not having an a sufficient calcium supply. I can’t believe that just switching commercial feed brands by itself would cause such a drop. Or that a commercial feed brand being “low quality” can cause such a drop (without other factors, like the feed being intentionally or accidentally altered). Even the cheapest food brand at TSC or any other farm store has ample caloric count and nutrients to keep hens laying eggs.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I just meant meant maybe they can’t handle a diet change as easily as happy little foraging chickens do.

        Like I said above, I hope there are people out there doing analyses on feed to see if it truly matches what’s printed on the bag.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Somebody is conducting a chemical analysis of Tractor Supply feed to try to find out what could be causing it, so if it’s really happening, we may find out why.

  39. Certified Public Asshat

    Arizona hospital on brink of collapse after spending $20 million on migrant care: ‘Nobody has a solution

    What does Reason think?

    Ron DeSantis says he wants to “keep more money in the pockets of Floridians”—but he’s requesting $12 million to fund more migrant stunts “from any point of origin in the U.S.” https://t.co/Lt9NrfbaMj— reason (@reason) February 6, 2023

    • R.J.

      You forgot the “t” in front of Reason. Libertarian traitors.

    • rhywun

      Versus the billions he would have to spend giving them “free” everything. Seems like he’s saving the taxpayers money to me.

      • R.J.

        We are only a couple of steps away from Reason just buying articles from AP News.

  40. Rebel Scum

    Joe is the hero we don’t deserve.

    I strongly condemn President Xi’s brazen incursion into American airspace, and I commend President Biden’s leadership in taking down the Chinese balloon over water to ensure safety for all Americans. Now we can collect the equipment and analyze the technology used by the CCP.

    Bill Kristol is still a massive cunte.

    If the balloon had anti-black history messages stenciled on it, or if it were dropping anti-trans pamphlets down to earth, or if it were broadcasting denunciations of wokeness non-stop, MAGA would be pro-balloon. They’d be welcoming the balloon. They’d be worshipping the balloon.

    • rhywun

      Take your meds, Bill. JFC that’s ridiculous.

      • B.P.

        Behold the wisdom of a Public Intellectual.