Resistance is Futile

by | Feb 11, 2023 | Beer, Fitness, Florida, Food & Drink | 62 comments

Every once in a while it all comes together.

This is my review of Arizona Wilderness Pecan Pie Brown Ale:

I don’t always get Gen Z, and quite frankly they don’t always get me but in some sense have they gone too far?  Perhaps I won’t reveal it just yet but first take a short step back.

The gallon of water guy:  this is the guy at the gym carrying around a gallon of water.  Chances are it’s not just tap water, but it certainly looks that way.  My first exposure to such a person was actually an older Gen X fellow from Texas; a retired E-6 working as a civilian contractor.  He had a penchant for eating protein bars and NO Xplode, which meant he needed to drink a ton of water.  I also found him one day taking a nap on an inversion table in the airfield vault. If you are unfamiliar with what an airfield vault is, lets just say its not a good place to wake up disoriented, grabbing around high voltage equipment controlled by a guy working in the tower who finds it funny he electrocuted another Airman.

B.O.R.G. Image search. Not unsettling at all.

At any rate, he carried around a one gallon jug of water.  Everywhere.  Even while working out of the bucket truck, which meant it was taking up space in the bucket.  He was also a huge fan of Chelsea FC—adjust your assumptions accordingly.

In this light, I introduce to you the B.O.R.G.  No, this is not a reference to the ultimate 1990’s manifestation of communism in a personified form, Star Trek bros.  Its an acronym meaning “Black Out Rage Gallon” and is composed of exactly 3 ingredients:  vodka, water, fruity flavoring/coloring.  Some go above and beyond on behalf of the plants with a flavor agent that contains electrolytes, however this is not necessary.  Perhaps its just the latest example of high society’s infatuation with rednecks in the midst?

So if you see these people just know, they’re crazy because they’re getting blackout drunk, not because their pre-workout just kicked in.  Damn kids.

 

At least I can look at their weird, fruity jugs with a sense of disdain while I drink… pie flavored beer. Okay there’s no leg for me to stand on here.  This is a bit on the sweet side, but not enough for me to hit the dreaded white girl beer alarm.  Its nutty, but in the same vein as other “nut brown” ales but also has hints of maple syrup and vanilla.  Drink it when everyone else in the room prefers pumpkin pie and you’re the family outcast that likes pecan.  Arizona Wilderness Pecan Pie Brown Ale:  3.1/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

62 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Do gyms even allow alcohol?

  2. Penguin

    Irrelevant fact: both pecan and pumpkin pie are surprisingly nutritious. Probably more so than the beer.

    • Mojeaux

      Pumpkin pie for bfast is probably the only nutritional thing I actually fed my kids.

      • rhywun

        Mawwwm… pumpkin pie again?”

      • Mojeaux

        XY got there after a couple of years. XX never got tired of it. Now she only gets it on Tryptophan Day.

  3. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    “Block Out Rage Gallon” and is composed of exactly 3 ingredients: vodka, water, fruity flavoring/coloring

    We called that Johnny Depp Punch in college. I’m sure everyone else has their own name for it.

    It was the unfortunate task of the pledges to clean it up after parties, from the walls, the floors, the ceilings, the sofas, etc…

    • Trigger Hippie

      Kill-Aid

    • R C Dean

      Proportions?

      Asking for a friend.

    • Tundra

      Wapatui. And it was usually many types of booze.

      In a garbage can

      • Fourscore

        Artillery Punch

        Ingredients
        Yield: About 25 drinks

        8lemons
        1pound superfine sugar
        750-milliliter bottle bourbon or rye
        750-milliliter bottle Cognac
        750-milliliter bottle dark Jamaican rum
        3bottles Champagne or other sparkling wine
        Nutmeg

      • Sensei

        Oh, that screams hangover.

      • Tundra

        That actually sounds pretty good!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        You would have the ultimate panty dropper.

      • Chafed

        Second only to the roofie.

    • DrOtto

      Wapatui when younger. 5 finger death punch later in life.

    • kinnath

      Blue Max: equal parts Vodka, Blue Curacau, and lemon sweet and sour. Pour over ice and top off the glass with sprite. Get blitzed quick recipe.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    White women must be stopped

    and frisked?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      This guy gets it

  5. Ted S.

    Are these pee-CANS or pee-KHAAAAAAANS?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Like any rational person:

      Pe-KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANZ

  6. kinnath

    And the NatGas company just sent an email saying my budget bill is going up 27%.

    It’s been a pretty mild winter so far. So, natgas must be up badly. Or my brand new high-efficiency furnace is crap compared to the old one that we took out.

    • kinnath

      And the website shows a huge spike from this Jan vs last Jan, while the Feb is actually lower than the prior year. Note the billing months don’t line up with the calendar.

      Looks like I am going have to monitory my bills for a few more cycles, then have a conversation with the HVAC guys.

      • Chafed

        My nat gas bill is up 75% yoy.

  7. kinnath

    Time to go put booze in bottles.

    • R.J.

      I took too much booze out of bottles last night, so… Good morning.

  8. CPRM

    vodka, water, fruity flavoring/coloring.

    Why the water you pussies!? Why, when I was young I just added the flavor-aid and the vodka! Young kids are soft!

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Grain alcohol and kool-aid, dilute to desired toxicity level

      • CPRM

        In your 20s Toxicity should be set to maximum!

    • Chafed

      CPRM gets it.

    • Sean

    • R C Dean

      Buff Bender is awesome. Great stuff all around.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Cool, but they forgot to do the Amazonians.

    • rhywun

      Fry and Zapp are pretty.

      Love the music, I wish it was cited somewhere. Shazam’ed it.

      • Shirley Knott

        Agreed.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      YES!!!!

  9. CPRM

    Well, I’m off to spy on people. Maybe I’ll see some of you in the zoom late tonight when I get home.

    • R C Dean

      Anyone in particular?

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    Slow day in Glibertopia I see,
    Well, cheers anyway!🍻

    • Fourscore

      Spring is in the air. You left MI too early, Yusef. Snow is melting, a little. Brighter days are ahead.

      • Animal

        Well, we’ll have to wait a while up here in the Great Land. 3-5 inches of white stuff forecast over the next 48 hours.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Enjoy our journey back to the Sun, wherever we may be

    • R.J.

      Too… Many… Tall… Cans…
      Need rest.

  11. Tundra

    I was that family outcast!

    And I usually have a quart bottle of water with me at all times. With electrolytes.

    I think I would try that beer. I had a French toast stout at the tap house the other night and it was surprisingly good.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I was that family outcast!

      I knew you were cool.

      One day we’ll need Angus MacFayden to unite the pecan pie clans, but not today.

  12. R C Dean

    “At least I can look at their weird, fruity jugs”

    Paging Q. Q to the white courtesy phone.

    • Chafed

      *crosses fingers before scrolling down*

  13. DEG

    Okay there’s no leg for me to stand on here. This is a bit on the sweet side, but not enough for me to hit the dreaded white girl beer alarm. Its nutty, but in the same vein as other “nut brown” ales but also has hints of maple syrup and vanilla. Drink it when everyone else in the room prefers pumpkin pie and you’re the family outcast that likes pecan. Arizona Wilderness Pecan Pie Brown Ale: 3.1/5

    I’d give it a try.

    • R C Dean

      #metoo. I like nut brown ales, and I don’t see a hit of maple and vanilla being out of place. As long as it’s not too sweet, and it gets mex’s seal of (conditional) approval, so . . . .

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Its a Gilbert-based brewery, so you should be able to find it. With the caveat this one I had queued since… November.

  14. DEG

    rednecks in the midst

    I remember watching Hee-Haw when I was a kid.

    • Fourscore

      I had just talked to my Alaskan grand daughter about 2 hours ago, I thought Elmensdorf but what do I know?

  15. mexican sharpshooter

    @OZZY!

    Mind if I contact you at the email on file?

    • Chafed

      Trudeau is their PM. You know the answer.