Whyfore Verse?

by | Feb 20, 2023 | Linguistics, Literature, Musings, Opinion | 146 comments

I have made no secret of my bias towards prose. It is self-evidently the superior form of written composition, unsurpassed in clarity and accuracy. Verse is often constrained by meter, rhyme, and structures that don’t use much of the page. So it vexed me for many years that large swathes of literature were in such an awkward format. This is because of one very silly disconnect that I admittedly should have realized many a year ago. I did finally have the epiphany of what utility verse had while driving down some highway or another listening to audiobooks.

And then it faded to the back of my minds while more pressing matters came to the fore. A recent argument slap fight discussion in the comments about copyright reminded me again. The function of the constraints of verse in line length, meter, and rhyme is to act as a mnemonic. Verse exists not for the sort poetry of the leasure classes, but so that the illiterate storyteller can hold the epic yarn in his brain and retell it at the pace his audience needs to be entertained. Sitting here in a modern environment, especially using a text-based format like this website, I can easily forget that literacy was not the norm. Prose is the superior written form, but it is a bitch to memorize.

So on to introspection. Why did I overlook such an obvious connection for so many years?

My first instinct is to blame the way I was taught. Being a victim graduate of the public school system, I had to contend with instructors whose first priority was not the students. So when the curriculum required they cover verse, they picked examples to work with that were A: short, and B: appealed to the instructor. It would not be a stretch to assume that in most cases, an education degree-holding, usually female, adult will have a different taste in entertainment from pre-teen to teenage students, especially the boys. So when verse came up, we would often get florid little snippets from some eighteenth or nineteenth century fop. To us it was boring and painful. The only good poem (from our perspective) to grace the curriculum was The Raven, which I can probably recite large chunks of from memory to this day.

Now if we had something from the epics like Gilgamesh, Homer, the Eddas, or even Beowulf, the subject matter would have resonated better with our young minds. Unfortunately, those were not composed in anything resembling modern english. With the upswing in general literacy even among the lower classes between Tudor and modern times (due to things like the printing press), the niche for memorized epics went away. No one composed new ones in verse, turning their attentions to the superior written form. Naturally, translations of the existing epic verse were less interested in making them memorizable and instead were for well-educated types to dissect ad nausium. That left the translations not exactly fitting into the verse format, and limping along as not fully realized prose.

Of course, even if there were a modern epic verse, I am now of the mind that if that were given to the english teachers of today, it would be tortured to the point of once again boring the students out of their skulls. That is, if it even made it to the classroom, given the proclivities of ‘educators’ today. As a thought experment, I keep seeing the flaws in such an idea. I toyed with the idea of putting together a sample of what such a poem might look like, and ran into the problem that I do not take readily to verse. Nothing made the page as it fell apart in my head.

This is why I fix computers instead.

With no good way to close out the stream of consciousness ramble, I leave you with Beowulf, in the original English.

About The Author

UnCivilServant

UnCivilServant

A premature curmudgeon and IT drone at a government agency with a well known dislike of many things popular among the Commentariat. Also fails at shilling Books

146 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Why did I overlook such an obvious connection for so many years?

    You never read the Odyssey?

    • Rat on a train

      A friend had a Magnavox Odyssey 2.

  2. Sensei

    Also music!

    As I type this Iā€™m listening to J Pop which has done wonders for my vocabulary and phrases. However, just like English you get strange construction and literary words and phrases that arenā€™t commonly used.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And engrish! Who knew “boy” could pronounced as three syllables?

      • Sensei

        ć¼ć†ć‚„!

  3. rhywun

    I leave you with Beowulf

    That guy is drunk AF.

    • Penguin

      He’s that authentic.

  4. R.J.

    I first read part of Beowulf in junior high as part of an assignment. I went to the library and read the whole thing. That being said, I must still post my own award – winning prose:

    ROSES ARE RED
    VIOLETS ARE BLUE
    BENJAMIN BAGBY
    READS BEOWOLF TO YOU

    • Ted S.

      Better than any “first”.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Rhyming is boring but it is neccesary,
    People like it easy, no verbal gymnastics

    • Sensei

      I also feel like certain languages have a much easier time of it.

      Romance languages with repetitive gendered word endings for example.

      • Zwak, my pronouns are Ass/Asshole

        Chicken/Egg.

      • Sensei

        Yes, but itā€™s important how the word identifies, regardless of what letters it actually has.

      • Zwak, my pronouns are Ass/Asshole

        No, what I meant was that maybe the language developed to encase the verbal in that tradition, thus making it ideal for using it.

      • Sensei

        I got that and agree. Just kidding around.

    • R.J.

      I wish you had rhymed that comment.

      • Penguin

        When the vocal strands are fringy
        The results are often cringey.

      • Penguin

        I speculate Yusef drives
        Meant nearly what I wrote implies.

      • R.J.

        He meant that

        Rhyming is boring but works the synapses,
        People like it easy, no verbal gymnastics

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Bingo!

  6. Gender Traitor

    When I took Brit Lit in college, the professor read a little bit of Beowulf to us in the original Old English. My overall impression at the time was that it sounded like a Viking choking on an ox bone. (I much preferred his reading from The Canterbury Tales in the original Middle English.) Helping that impression was the professor’s stocky build that made it easy to imagine he might be descended from Vikings. Mr. Bagby’s reading of Beowulf is much more pleasant – not nearly so…rough.

    As for poetry, I’m not sure what this says about me, but apart from countless song lyrics (of course,) one of the only poems I can think of that I know almost completely by heart is “Jabberwocky.”

    • Sensei

      Oddly for me it is The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

      • Sensei

        Also some of Shakespeareā€™s sonnets.

      • Not Adahn

        Because ain’t nobody got time to memorize The Waste-Land.

    • CPRM

      One of the books I wish I’d kept from college was my lit book that had all that stuff with the original language on one side of the page and a modern translation on the other.

      • Sensei

        In some ways Iā€™d think the net might be even handier as you can likely get multiple translations and the original.

      • CPRM

        But the net isn’t a book that I could read after The CIA ReLeaSes COviD 7.0 anD The MOOn AmISh AaattTack!

      • Pat

        >he doesn’t have the entire internet backed up on paper and optical media so that he can stay entertained after an EMP or solar flare
        ngmi

      • Rat on a train

        also don’t have to worry about sensitivity experts

    • Gender Traitor

      apart from countless song lyrics (of course,)*

      *and a few limericks (the highest form of the poetic art?) that I shall refrain from reciting.

      • pistoffnick

        There once was a man from Nantucket…

      • pistoffnick

        The once was a man whose dong was so long…

      • Rat on a train

        You are a John Hughes fan?

    • Pat

      The only poetry I retained from school was Chartless by Emily Dickinson, My Heart’s In The Highlands by Robert Burns, and about 3/4 of Paul Revere’s Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Why those particular ones stuck I have absolutely no idea.

    • Ted S.

      ŠŠ¾Ń‡ŃŒ, уŠ»ŠøцŠ°, фŠ¾Š½Š°Ń€ŃŒ, Š°ŠæтŠµŠŗŠ°,
      Š‘ŠµŃŃŠ¼Ń‹ŃŠ»ŠµŠ½Š½Ń‹Š¹ Šø тусŠŗŠ»Ń‹Š¹ сŠ²ŠµŃ‚.
      Š–ŠøŠ²Šø ŠµŃ‰Šµ хŠ¾Ń‚ŃŒ чŠµŃ‚Š²ŠµŃ€Ń‚ŃŒ Š²ŠµŠŗŠ°,
      Š’сŠµ Š±ŃƒŠ“ŠµŃ‚ тŠ°Šŗ. Š˜ŃŃ…Š¾Š“Š° Š½ŠµŃ‚.

      Š£Š¼Ń€ŠµŃˆŃŒ, Š½Š°Ń‡Š½ŠµŃˆŃŒ Š¾Šæять сŠ½Š°Ń‡Š°Š»Š°,
      Š˜ ŠæŠ¾Š²Ń‚Š¾Ń€Šøтся Š²ŃŠµ ŠŗŠ°Šŗ Š²ŃŃ‚Š°Ń€ŃŒ:
      ŠŠ¾Ń‡ŃŒ, Š»ŠµŠ“яŠ½Š°Ń ряŠ±ŃŒ ŠŗŠ°Š½Š°Š»Š°,
      ŠŠæтŠµŠŗŠ°, уŠ»ŠøцŠ°, фŠ¾Š½Š°Ń€ŃŒ.

      • Ted S.

        And from Austrian poet Ernst Jandl:

        Lichtung

        Manche meinen lechts und rinks
        Kann man nicht velwechsern.
        Werch ein Illtum!

      • Rat on a train

        ŠœŃƒŃ…Š°, Š¼ŃƒŃ…Š° Š½Š° стŠµŠ½Šµ
        ŠŗŠ°Šŗ ты ŠæŠ¾Š¶ŠøŠ²Š°ŠµŃˆŃŒ?
        Š£ Š¼ŠµŠ½Ń ŠæŠøстŠ¾Š»ŠµŃ‚.
        Š‘Š°Ń…, Š±Š°Ń…, Š¼ŃƒŃ…Šø Š½ŠµŃ‚.

    • The Hyperbole

      At my nerdiest I could recite The Yarn of the Nancy Bell, The Walrus and the Carpenter, The Raven, The Shooting of Dan McGrew, and Gunga Din. I still know the first two, can fumble through most of the third, but only know the first and last few lines of the last two.

  7. Zwak, my pronouns are Ass/Asshole

    So, is the next book going to be in blank verse?

    You glibs that reign’d at my reading,
    Whose influence hath allotted death and hell,
    Now draw up Festus like a foggy mist
    Into the entrails of yon labouring clouds,
    That when they vomit forth into the air,
    My limbs may issue from their smoky mouths,
    So that my soul may but first to Heaven.

  8. CPRM

    The only good poem (from our perspective) to grace the curriculum was The Raven, which I can probably recite large chunks of from memory to this day.

    When I decided to appropriate it for the cartoon I had forgotten how long that poem is. Took long than I thought it was going to.

    • Sean

      The end result was epic though.

      • R.J.

        It was indeed.

  9. pistoffnick

    I made money in high school writing poetry for the other poor asses
    Stuck in Mr. Pelowski’s 10th or 11th grade English classes.
    $4 per poem. No two the same.
    Nothing sappy. Nothing lame.

    • R.J.

      I saw what you did there.

    • CPRM

      Just my luck, when I tried to pass off the opening to Dead and Bloated as a poem for class my teacher was young enough to know what it was.

  10. CPRM

    The Greek epics even had The Chorus written into the story.

    • Chafed

      It seems like they are trying to displace Chicago.

  11. dbleagle

    I was lucky and introduced to the Eddas and sagas in high school. Once you get into the rhythm and their use of kennings they are a fun read.

    There is also a great deal of real world wisdom in the Havamal (Odin’s sayings) . A very small sampling.

    https://www.medievalists.net/2014/08/advice-norse-god-wisdom-havamal/

  12. Sensei

    P A goes to hell
    Please fix all elections now
    Fetterman drugged

    5~7~5

    • Sensei

      Fucking auto correct. ā€¦. On drugs

    • Don escaped Texas

      Open your presents
      No, you open your presents
      Kaczynski Christmas

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Poems that do not
      Rhyme in any way at all
      Haikus are so lame

      • Not Adahn

        All good Haikus must
        Contain a season reference
        Leaves fade in autumn

      • Not Adahn

        Haikus are easy.
        Bilingual puns are tricky.
        Each Nissan, she goes.

  13. Mojeaux

    UCS, that gave me a lot of food for thought. Thank you.

    That said, I cannot stand most poetry. I would rather read nonfiction, which is saying something. Shakespeare? Pffft. I need to read it like prose for it to make any sense to me. I’ve been reading more since I can copy/paste and structure it like prose. It reads well that way.

    It’s a punctuation problem. As I’ve said before, I’ve made my living most of my life transcribing people speaking. I was a teenager when I started punctuating heavily to render what I heard so someone else could read it the way I heard it. Poetry’s oddball breaks in lines are, to me, a punctuation, and I trip over the line endings like a toe catching a crack in a sidewalkā€”repeatedly. I can take a poetry reading a little better, but then I’m only listening to the rhythm of the speaker’s voice.

    I don’t have the same problem with song lyrics. I don’t know why.

    • cyto

      Interesting point about using punctuation to capture the spoken word.

      I have been writing much of my written communications in an attempt to capture the voice of people since high school….. using punctuation.

      The ellipsis is one go-to to capture the hesitations and incomplete phrases that characterize so much of colloquial speech.

      In the before times I used to heavily sprinkle my writings with alternate spellings to capture dialect, but that was before “dialect” became a land-mine.

    • Sensei

      Hell we barely have that in the C Suite n the private sector anymore.

    • Ted S.

      Not here, not now,
      There is some other place I’d rather be.
      Not here, not now,
      Watching the world wake up from history.

      • Mojeaux

        ā¤ļø

    • CPRM

      This was an unfortunate event that was unforeseen and we will strive to do better in the future.

      • R C Dean

        + 1 annual bonus

    • Don escaped Texas

      I think Spain and France had different gauges, so all freight between the countries had to be unloaded and reloaded at the border

      • Penguin

        Russia had different size gauges at least up through the mid-20th century. when Germany “helped” much of Russia to convert to the standard European width.

      • dbleagle

        Russia still uses a 5 foot gauge. The USSR saw it as partially a defensive tool.

      • Penguin

        Was what I said untrue? I understand why Russia (as, admittedly I should have stated) would change them back – It was only Western Russia, (which basically included Belarus and Ukraine, maybe different.
        But. At this point, I give up, you’re right, you win. have a good night

    • rhywun

      Fun fact: NYC subways have two different car sizes and tunnel widths. The numbered lines are older and narrower than the lettered lines. There are only one or two spots where the two systems connect.

    • Chafed

      He’s no Buttigieg (sp?)

  14. Zwak, my pronouns are Ass/Asshole

    ā€œCruelty has a human heart,
    And Jealousy a human face;
    Terror the human form divine,
    And Secresy the human dress.

    The human dress is forged iron,
    The human form a fiery forge,
    The human face a furnace sealed,
    The human heart its hungry gorge.

    – “A DIVINE IMAGEā€ William Blake.

  15. kinnath

    There was a young woman called Sally,

    Who loved an occasional dally

    She sat on the lap

    Of a well endowed chap

    And said ‘You’re right up my alley.’

    • Fourscore

      New to me and I laughed

    • Grummun

      There once was a man from Boston
      Who went out and bought an Austin
      There was room for his ass
      And a gallon of gas
      But his balls dragged so he lost them.

      • hayeksplosives

        There once was a lady from Niger
        Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
        They came back from the ride
        With the lady inside
        And the smile on the face of the tiger

      • Rat on a train

        +1 Patricia Neal

  16. DrOtto

    True story – got home tonight and the wife had dinner heating in the oven. Her Aunts are stopping by on the way back to MN. The Mrs is making, wait for it – Chicken Spaghetti (we live in TX, so we don’t call it TX Chicken Spaghetti). She has never made this in 27 years of marriage.

    • CPRM

      What DO you call it? An Abomination?

      • rhywun

        II is my favorite of theirs.

    • juris imprudent

      You better go back and check your Glib-o-scope from yesterday, for this is an omen.

    • Penguin

      They didn’t think they had enough carbs already.

      • CPRM

        But it’s Gluten Free! Therefore healthy. #Science

    • rhywun

      God that sounds amazing. It’s like every food group in one package.

      • Penguin

        Itā€™s like every food group in one package.

        “Now introducing Reese’s Pieces with Lays infused with Lays potato chips and flakes of Oscar Mayer bacon.”

        No extra carbs with that, and, CPRM – still no gluten.

        I’d eat that, at least once.

    • Mojeaux

      šŸ¤¢

    • Gustave Lytton

      Wait til he sees the one with pretzels…

    • Mojeaux

      I hear “high-yield,” I think, “junk.”

      • Penguin

        I know most Glibs know this already, but I really wanted to make a point of it.

        One real important thing about the Debt Ratio – even once you determine it, you still need to take a good look at the company’s assets. A LOT of fly-by-night like to take essentially worthless property or equipment and list it as if it were pristine – at cost of purchase, and this will come into their valuation of their assets at book value. Obviously, the difference between the two can be quite significant.

      • creech

        And vice versa – the depreciated asset (say, a commercial building) may be worth lots more than it shows on the books.

  17. whiz

    The only poem I know by heart is one I wrote 30+ years ago, which I am reminded of several times every winter:


    I awoke today to the snow,
    around the sun a sundog glow.
    Fairy trees, fractal white,
    eyes squint against the bright.
    Crystal skin upon a stream,
    sounds muffle as in a dream.
    A fine day to be alive,
    unless to work you must drive.

    I’m not sure the last line fits, but I never came up with a better one.

  18. hayeksplosives

    People assume that Oklahomans must be barely literate, but my public school Oklahoma education included Gilgamesh, Homer, Beowulf, the Hebrew bible as literature, etc. We even listened to a recording of what modern linguists thought the Old English Beowulf sounded like.

    We all had to memorize and recite the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, a feat that was made easier when we realized its meter followed the theme song to the Beverly Hillbillies.

    The best part about the version of the Iliad they had us read was that it was a literal translation, still verse by verse and not paragraph driven, but they didnā€™t force a rhyme or meter to any verse.

  19. pistoffnick

    There are strange things done under the midnight sun
    By the men who moil for gold
    The Arctic trails have their secret tales
    That would make your blood run cold;
    The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
    But the queerest they ever did see
    Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
    I cremated Sam McGee

    I used to be able to recite this (https://poets.org/poem/cremation-sam-mcgee) around the campfire at YMCA summer camp back in the day.

    Sadly, many of my brain cells have been killed since then.

    • hayeksplosives

      Pisses me off that I can still recite the preamble to the constitution but many of our sitting ā€œrepresentativesā€ have never read it.

      • Shpip

        Bonus points if you can do it without singing it.

      • Not Adahn

        In school where we had to write that for a test, you could hear people humming.

    • Gustave Lytton

      My dad had a fondness for Robert Service and that poem. I like it too.

  20. rhywun

    I won’t lie – poetry makes my eyes glaze over.

    Poe is a rare exception.

    • Chafed

      Completely agree.

      • hayeksplosives

        You can’t read The Raven without getting caught up in the rhythm and involuntarily obeying Poe’s subtle commands to crescendo and decrescendo, to accelerendo and ritardando.

        “As I nodded nearly napping,
        Suddenly there came a tapping,
        as of someone gently rapping,
        Rapping at my chamber door.”

        Starts innocently enough, but by the end you feel the madness of the narrator.

      • Not Adahn

        The Bells even more so imo.

  21. pistoffnick

    The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
    But I’ve many miles before I sleep.

    – Robert Frost

    Always meant a lot to me.

    I encountered a wolf pack in the woods of the YMCA summer camp I worked at one night.
    I wasn’t afraid.
    They weren’t afraid.
    It was quite lovely.
    They went on their way.
    I went on mine.

    • hayeksplosives

      Frost was wonderful.

    • pistoffnick

      A friend of mine was treed by a pack of wolves. He always carries a pistol when deer hunting now.

    • Chafed

      It almost makes it worth learning.

    • Mojeaux

      ā¤ļø

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    Fleas,
    Adam had em,

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    Seeking shrilled Waters, to find the colored hue,
    wondering what comes with us the battered and the few,
    turn to seek another day another dark and gray, something that was once bright glorious and, whatever….
    /dig…..

  24. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

  25. Stinky Wizzleteats

    There once was a man named Enisā€¦

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Was he from Nantucket?

  26. Rat on a train

    Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
    Thy micturations are to me
    As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
    Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
    And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
    Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
    With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!

    • Shirley Knott

      A masterpiece. The pinnacle of how poetry (not song lyrics) appears to me.

    • mindyourbusiness

      I have to say I enjoyed your Carolling.

    • Not Adahn

      Worldwide all hands livestream this morning.

      An hour when I can glib while working!

    • Shirley Knott

      Nothing. Left. To. Cut.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Civilized” is synonymous with “Degenerate”.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      I feel complete. This is what was missing from my life.

    • Not Adahn

      So what happens when the pony dies? Is there a pony succession plan?

  27. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates.

  28. Sean

    I fucking hate people.

    Apparently in 2023, people think “cell phone problems” are an acceptable reason to not come to work.

    šŸ™

    • Rat on a train

      The world before cell phones was an uncivilized wasteland. How did people survive?

    • Fourscore

      Good morning, All,

      At least the person’s cat wasn’t sick. Might need to call 911.

      Had one person gone for 30 days, showed back up and said he was in the hospital. Uh-huh.

      Another one had his brother call and apologize, said he’d be in as soon as he got out of jail.

    • UnCivilServant

      How are you supposed to call out if you have cell phone problems?

      • Not Adahn

        You get online and ask for the score of the Cal game.

    • Grosspatzer

      My first “cell phone” was the Blackberry gifted by management in 2002.
      Manager sang the praises of this marvelous new toy, I offered that the ability to annoy me 24×7 was not my idea of marvelous.