Giving us Goosebumps

by | Mar 11, 2023 | Beer, First Amendment, Food & Drink, Media | 120 comments

Ever find a story and ask yourself, “Huh.  I thought that guy was dead?”

This is my review of Wellbeing Intentional IPA:

The backlash to “retelling” works written by several writers to suit modern audiences took an unexpected turn.  You’ve likely noticed headlines about feminist retellings of 1984, for example and laughed at the memes pointing out the irony they decided to change small details to control language in a universe where the government has an agency dedicated to changing small details in language to maintain control of information.  By laugh I mean cringe and pour another three fingers of scotch.

Worst OnlyFans. EVER.

Then they did the same to Rhoald Dahl.  Many of us read his books as children, and were puzzled as to what exactly was controversial about Rhoald Dahl other than portraying feminism through a female athlete turned professional educator that terrorized everyone around her she thought to be weak.  What Orwell and Dahl have in common though are they are both British, both are commonly read in schools, and most importantly both are dead.

Which makes the attempt to censor R.L. Stine puzzling.  Stine wrote books for children but these weren’t exactly the type of books like Where the Red Fern Grows the schools are going to force kids to read.  His books were popular because they were easy to read, had screwball plot twists, and most importantly—short.  They were discouraged while I was in school in part because they are pot boilers, and they are in the “horror” genre, dealing with occult topics on an extremely surface level basis.  Kids still read them, because schools often had a specific number of pages kids were required to read to build an interest in reading and they couldn’t actually stop them.  Grudgingly, they allowed us to scribble up book reports about Camp Jellyjam.  I find it odd they attempted to go after him in spite of the fact he’s still alive to notice.

 

Today’s near beer is an IPA.  So naturally I hate this one even more.  It is indeed a proper dry-hopped IPA. But I assume this step is taken after they remove the alcohol.  Its more the “East Coast” variety so its not total grapefruit if you’re not into that.  Ultimately, this is suitable only for Yusef—In the event Yusef gets a CDL and decides he needs to fuck with everyone on the interstate by visibly drinking beer and throwing empty beer cans out the window*. Wellbeing Intentional IPA: 0.6/5 <.05% ABV

 

*Don’t do this.

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

120 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    My power is back on. Yay.

    How’s Cal doing?

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Mostly silent

      • Chafed

        👍

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Cal is damp and cool, and no I won’t toss anything out the window
    🍻

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Good man

  3. DEG

    It is indeed a proper dry-hopped IPA. But I assume this step is taken after they remove the alcohol. Its more the “East Coast” variety so its not total grapefruit if you’re not into that.

    No grapefruit is good, but I still suspect that I wouldn’t like this beer.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Throw in a shot of fireball then maybe.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    *Don’t do this.

    *throws beer can out window*

    • R C Dean

      – 1 supervisor

  5. Fourscore

    ” fuck with everyone on the interstate by visibly drinking beer and throwing empty beer cans out the window”

    Leave Waco with cold Foster’s and a 6 pack in the cooler. Two guys headed south on I-35, headed for Temple, about a 45 minute ride. Beer cans went to the guy riding shot gun for disposal. By the time we hit Temple the cooler was empty, we were at home base and ready for dinner.

    Good Old Days and no open container laws, circa 1982

    • dbleagle

      In the old days we would measure highways distances by the number of beer from point A to point B. Az was a free state then.

      • PudPaisley

        My buddy used to play bass in a popular local band called 3 Beers ’til Dubuque. They must have named the band while on the drive to Dubuque, IA because it’s about a 6 beer drive.

  6. Q Continuum

    Fuck MADD.

    Neo prohibitionists.

    • Ted S.

      Fuck MADD.

      But only if they have big titties.

      • Chafed

        You’re singing Q’s song.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    They baffle SCIENCE!

    Three years into the pandemic, a select group of people have achieved something some once thought impossible: They have never tested positive for Covid. Scientists around the world are searching for the genetic reasons these people have dodged Covid — despite repeated exposure to the virus.

    Were they born with a form of super immunity? What’s behind their Houdini-like success at escaping infection?

    ——-

    Even though millions of people have been vaccinated and followed precautions similar to the Zimmermans, they still got sick from Covid, either because of breakthrough infections or waning immunity.

    Yet scientists believe it is possible that some people have never been infected because they entered the pandemic equipped with a kind of biological armor against the virus that causes Covid.

    Now they want to unravel the mysteries hidden in the immune systems of true “Covid dodgers.”

    Dude. OMG you know what? Like some people never get cancer.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Never been tested
      Never got the shot
      Never got the vid.

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        You died, you just didn’t notice.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        So that’s what that bad smell was?

      • Q Continuum

        Eat less cabbage.

      • CPRM

        Ooooo that smell, can’t you smell that smell

      • R C Dean

        If I had the virus, had no symptoms. Which means I was never sick, and thus effectively never had it.

        By now all of us probably have some ‘Vid viruses, and innumerable others, present in us in some way., pretty often. Who cares?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Mary Mallon agrees heartily.

      • dbleagle

        If you never test for DA VID you never get the DA VID. It is known-it is SCIENCE!

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        Schroedinger’s Virus

      • Fourscore

        Not allowed to have Covid unless you get tested. One of the rules, can’t claim victim status without the science

      • Gustave Lytton

        All hail science!

        (I want to punch the tv every time those damn Hill’s dog food commercials come on)

      • Ted S.

        I only got tested because I had to when Dad was in rehab.

    • rhywun

      I was tested a bunch of times in 2020 and OMG IT WAS NEVER POSITIVE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

      • dbleagle

        You’re a Glib Shitlord. Have an orphan polish your monocle and man up.

      • Penguin

        Pretty sure I had it in Nov 2020. Had to lay on my ass for 11 days. Fuck anyone who’d say I had to get a shot after that.

  8. Gustave Lytton

    Woohoo! New car insurance is up 20% on renewal!

    • Sean

      Time to shop around.

      • Michael Malaise

        And be sure to tell your current insurer you’re shopping around. You’ll magically get a lower rate.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes. It’s USAA that I have mixed feelings about but ended up back with them as a result of shopping around last time. My suspicion is that rates have gone up similarly.

    • Chafed

      That’s quite a jump. Did they give you a reason?

      • R C Dean

        That ticket for throwing beer cans out the window?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not really. Due to either increases for state or individual risk characteristics. Well duh.

      • Chafed

        That’s frustrating. I agree with everyone else, go shop your policy. FWIW, if you aren’t already bundling home and auto insurance, then get quotes. It saved me quite a bit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Already doing that. Previously left Liberty Mutual/Safeco and got a substantial cut, more than even the current increase.

      • Fourscore

        Trump-Biden Syndrome. Rates are the same, just the dollar went down.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s what I suspect. Plus the general increase of car prices. Was watching a YouTuber talk about some taillight damage to his truck. What should be a lens cover is plastic frame of the taillight itself and runs $1300 for OEM replacement. Utterly ridiculous.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Damn

  9. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    I’m-a go up to Hickory NC next Sunday to meet n greet a doggie that’s being fostered.

    https://ibb.co/RCZbJ03

    • Gustave Lytton

      Looks like a good case for dognapping.

    • Mojeaux

      Wait, what? I thought pugs were where it’s at?

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        He’s in pug rescue foster, but he’s a Chi Hua Hua

      • Mojeaux

        Pug-adjacent.

    • Chafed

      Good for you KK.

    • R C Dean

      Looks like mischief in an adorable package. What breed(s)?

    • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

      Yeah, that’s a black fox. Mischief incorporated.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    As the search continues for an elusive immunity gene, asymptomatic infections may be the real story.

    That is, people never knew they had Covid because their body stopped the virus from making them sick — no cough, no fever, no trouble breathing.

    One study conducted early in the pandemic, when routine testing was common, suggested that more than 40% of cases could be asymptomatic. The CDC stopped trying to track the percentage of asymptomatic cases when regular testing became less common.

    Openshaw finds asymptomatic cases “absolutely fascinating.”

    “What is it that clears the virus before it gets a foothold?,” he asked

    That’s some real frontiers-of-science shit. I’s as if the last five hundred years of medicine never happened.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Openshaw finds asymptomatic cases “absolutely fascinating.”

      Everybody knew COVID was a death sentence!

    • R C Dean

      If you were asymptomatic, you weren’t sick, and didn’t have COVID. For any functional definition of “had COVID”.

    • Lackadaisical

      What is it that clears the virus before it gets a foothold?,” he asked

      Your immune system bro?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      “What is it that clears the virus before it gets a foothold?,” he asked

      Taco Bell brand Fire Sauce?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Some believe it’s inevitable that the entire population will become infected sooner or later. While masking and vaccines are effective, they’re not foolproof.

    It’s as if the last five hundred years of medicine never happened.

    • Q Continuum

      “While masking and vaccines are effective, he stated without evidence”

      Am I journalisming right?

      • Chafed

        That’s excellent. Would you prefer to work at the NYT or WaPo?

    • R C Dean

      For definitions of “effective” that also apply to perpetual motion and homeopathy.

  12. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Now that I’m an adult an can look inside the public school system from a distance, it’s shocking to me that Anthem was part of my sophomore English curriculum.

    I don’t recall any books being discouraged in my elementary school years. Maybe some of Judy Blume’s YA books, like Forever

  13. Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

    Stine’s Goosebumps where YUGE back in the ’90s, and I would be willing to bet there are a shit-ton of people who are in their late 30 -early 40s who look back with fondness enough, and have been caught up in this BS, to think that moving a word around, just here and there, mind you!, is A-OK. And that nothing would happen except children would feel more welcomed.

    Well, it is starting to catch up with them. And I would bet dollars to doughnuts that if someone was to go back and check some other kids books that there have been “enhancements”, so to speak. This is going to haunt us for a while.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Nature sucks

    Snow began falling early and hard this season at the Mammoth Mountain ski resort, and the record-breaking amounts don’t look like they’ll stop anytime soon.

    While ski operators in the eastern Sierra Nevada are hoping the buildup of snow will allow them to stay open as late as July 4, the storms have added a dangerous edge to life in nearby towns as residents confront impenetrable snowbanks, high winds, road closures, avalanches and flooding.

    In a worst-case scenario, massive snowmelt in the coming weeks could inundate towns along U.S. Highway 395, which winds along the base of snow-clad Sierra peaks that reach up to 14,000 feet. At the same time, officials with the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power are worried that record runoff in Mono and Inyo counties could overwhelm the city’s network of aqueducts.

    “Getting significant rain on top of snow is a scary proposition,” Inyo County Supervisor Jeff Griffiths said Friday, when the first of several anticipated atmospheric rivers swept across the region, triggering warnings of avalanches and wind gusts of 120 mph. “We have at least two more storms coming in over the next 10 days, so the big concern is all the precipitation on the mountains coming down all at once.”

    The weather should be completely regular and predictable. It’s just too confusing and troublesome, otherwise.

    • Michael Malaise

      They have had a record drought — they should be dancing and singing.

      • Chafed

        We should but this f***ing state hasn’t built any significant water storage in over 30 years. One of favorite failed projects was a proposal by a private company to store water in particularly wet years in aquifers in the desert. It got killed on environmental grounds, of course. Feinstein was active in squashing it.

        This state is determined to reverse every policy that made it great. I can’t wait to see the population decline in the next census.

      • CPRM

        I have long wondered about using natural aquifers for storage.

      • R C Dean

        Yup. If CA had built reservoirs, they would be, err,swimming in water after this winter.

      • Lackadaisical

        Wait… What about the aquifers being pumped dry?

        Golly

      • Aloysious

        I can’t wait to see the population decline in the next census.

        You’re assuming the count won’t be jiggered for some political purpose. I wish I was that optimistic.

      • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

        Dood, if the saved teh water, they wouldn’t be able to fear-grind.

      • Chafed

        I used to believe the environmentalists had simply gone nuts trying to protect nature. Now I believe they hate humanity and want us to regress to a preindustrial society.

    • Q Continuum

      I thought drought was bad? I can’t keep up.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Is the snowfall in the right place? They don’t have more reservoir space anyways so if it melts too quickly, besides the flood issues, it’s not necessarily useful.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Nor does it alleviate above normal stretches of dry weather in the summer months for non-irrigated vegetation.

      • Spudalicious

        Sacramento south, the Sierras are at 200% snowpack.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Green lawns for everyone this year!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I’m fine with it hitting CO and UT, although that just means they’ll drain Lake Mead at a later date to grow grapes in the Central Valley.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Interesting read:

      In other words, we have support for Filipovic’s “captain their own ship” concern, and for Lukianoff’s disempowerment concern: Gen Z has become more external in its locus of control, and Gen Z liberals (of both sexes) have become more self-derogating. They are more likely to agree that they “can’t do anything right.”

      That may be part of why I have such a difficult time empathizing with them. I’m firmly in the camp of “my future is my own” and “just leave me alone, motherfucker.”

      • The Last American Hero

        Spoken like a true Genxer

    • Chafed

      That is a long but worthwhile read.

      • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

        Yeah, I have been chewing threw it all morning. Good stuff.

  15. Chafed

    Your disgust with IPAs is one more reason I love you MS.

    • Lackadaisical

      He has a similar enough taste to myself to make these reviews actually helpful.

    • Zwak tastes the soup, but never counts the beans.

      I used to love IPAs, but in the last few years have turned away. Now all I want are pales and sours.

      Although my local has a very nice schwartzbeir. Kinda like a pale in how filling it is, but dark in the taste.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        May the Schwartzbier with you.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Dear Penthouse

    An Oklahoma cheerleading coach has been arrested for allegedly having sex with her daughter’s 16-year-old ex-boyfriend more than 300 times, authorities said.

    Jennifer Hawkins, 45, was taken into custody on second-degree rape and sexual battery charges on Wednesday after her alleged five-year sexual relationship with the teen came to light.

    Detectives started investigating the Moore Public Schools cheer coach in January after the alleged victim, now 21, leveled the rape accusations against her, according to an affidavit obtained by Fox 25.

    He told investigators that Hawkins first prompted him for sex in 2017 when the then-sophomore was dating her daughter.

    He alleges that he had sex with Hawkins at her home almost every day during his lunch break throughout his sophomore and junior year.

    The victim told cops they had sex more than 300 times from 2017 through 2022, according to court documents.

    Sounds like a case of “breaking up is hard to do”.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      If you keep going back for more…

      • Chafed

        It does make me wonder.

  17. CPRM

    As a kid I got (and still have) about the first 32 Goosebumps books. I think only ever got around to reading 20 of them. During the vid shutdown we were allowed to read at work, so I started re-reading from the start. I got to about book 13. I should pick them up again.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I gotta ask. Is it really rape after the first fifty or sixty times?

    • Aloysious

      No.

      Please.

      Don’t.

      Stop.

    • Chafed

      Probably just more of their incompetence. My kids wonder why I use cash as much as I can. This is one reason.

    • R C Dean

      “What’s that? You say you have a gun? Show me, or fuck off.”

      • R C Dean

        And I’ll just point out that the article never mentions that the perp actually had a fucking gun.

      • R C Dean

        Should be “whether” not “that”.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    It looks like Mikaela Schiffrin won her race. More World cup wins than anybody.

    Why do they let her oppress transgender ski racers? It’s not fair.

  20. Evan from Evansville

    I have that exact beer in my fridge right now, though I haven’t tried it yet.

  21. Evan from Evansville

    I was born in ’87. I certainly read at least one Goosebumps, Night of the Living Dummy, the first in the series, is my best guess. It might have been another. Meh. It was fun but wasn’t my thing.

    They were popular as fuck with my friends. No one gave a shit because A) They aren’t unsuitable to ~4th/5th graders. B) The kids were reading with excitement. Literally everyone wins.

    The whole “shaming” of these authors is actually terrifying. I always feel like I’m looking out the window in the Weimar Republik and i keep seeing this weird shit. And it keeps getting bigger. And weirder. And most people just don’t give a shit or are too busy to have time to notice. Sadly…..See also: All of human history.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I always feel like I’m looking out the window in the Weimar Republik

      You and me both, brother. I hope you’re holding down the fort in hoosierlandia well. I haven’t been back in-state in a while, despite my brother and a bunch of old friends living there. Perhaps I should fix that this fall.

      • dbleagle

        This was the scariest scene of “Cabaret”
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tUctFu46_c

        The youth are first to be sucked in, then the adults who should know better, and soon only one old man is standing firm but visibly fearful. “Do you still think you can control them?” is a great way to close the scene and the true question in 2023.

        We already see this behavior in restaurants, schools, and other public places. “Publicly join us or off to the ditch with you!”

        For the first half century of my life I could not conceive the MSM would loudly and proudly claim evidence should be withheld from the public so that the government could either protect or prosecute citizens based on their politics. Shithead politicians, of course they would but it would be behind the scenes. Now Moobs from a podium threatens SC Justices and most recently the one broadcast network not firmly in his pocket.

        A black pill isn’t dark enough. I didn’t want to have to be on another battlefield during my last years, now I just try to determine when the battle will be foisted on me. Fuck the leftists and their enablers.

      • dbleagle

        Look how the media is covering the attacks on the Atlanta Police/Firefighter training facility. The dead leftist SHOT at the police and was killed by return fire. Even as tough as I am on police shootings, I see this as a good shoot. The MSM won’t mention that fact many times, and if it is mentioned is buried in the following column and not up front. Molotov cocktails and commercial grade fireworks used at police and equipment are dismissed like they were sparklers and not dangerous destructive devices. A lawyer (and not the first remembering NYC) is arrested not for being in the vicinity but as an active fighter on the site. No condemnation of either him or his employer.

        What I can’t understand is why these assclowns think they can continue to lead their lives when the deplorables cut off their food, water, and energy? Cities make hot house orchids seem cactus tough in their ability to survive changes to the environment. Congressional Dems proposed to prohibit military members 25yo and below be prohibited from owning firearms. I know from experience that the infantry and SOF communities come from a wide range of society but I can say with full confidence they don’t have large numbers of gun fearing, vegan, otherkins making up their ranks.

  22. trshmnstr the terrible

    OT: I’ve been fiddling with my home network all afternoon. Mainly just for the hell of it, but I’ll get my raspberry pi back after I get pihole migrated to my server.

    Docker is so freaking easy. Aside from the config file being finicky about whitespace, everything seems to work the first time. I don’t know why I didn’t migrate sooner! Next up: self-hosted BitWarden so I can finally kill my LastPass account.

    • Q Continuum

      “Docker is so freaking easy”

      QFT.

      Also: Docker? I barely know her!

      • R.J.

        I know. It’s all a bunch of Quirkles to me. I understand the word “raspberry pi” and “network.” My skills end there.

  23. Mojeaux

    I’m watching an Apple original series that I’m enjoying, but at some point, precocious children are too precocious. Sheldon Cooper isn’t this precocious.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      It’s Apple. They cater to the fantasies of urban Silicon Valley liberal families. All five of them.

      • Mojeaux

        And the adults are slowly, gradually getting dumber.

    • Gadfly

      >”Sheldon Cooper isn’t this precocious”

      That’s a high bar to clear.

  24. Q Continuum

    Comments on the mental health of lefty teenagers article:

    “The Monitoring the Future dataset has a set of items on “self derogation” which is closely related to disempowerment, as you can see from the four statements that comprise the scale:
    1. I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
    2. Sometimes I think I am no good at all.
    3. I feel that I can’t do anything right.
    4. I feel that my life is not very useful.
    […]
    Once again, and as with nearly all of the mental health indicators I examined in a previous post, there’s no sign of trouble before 2010. But right around 2012 the line for liberal girls starts to rise. It rises first, and it rises most, with liberal boys not far behind.”

    Haidt has the cause and effect wrong here; they do not feel that way because they are lefties, they are lefties because they feel that way. It’s axiomatic that the left is the more “activist” political orientation, determined to “change the world” etc; ie: a mass movement. Hoffer explained that mass movements are driven by people who are damaged and feel that their individual lives have no value; therefore the only way for anything to matter, they have to join the movement. I’d say social media kicked this into overdrive and leftie politicians are cashing in on it. The only problem: mass movements are trains with no brakes, eventually consuming and destroying everything in their path.

    • Gadfly

      Possibly. But on the other hand, this is a study of teens, who frequently just go with the flow instead of developing their own opinions. He may have the causal direction correct.

    • R C Dean

      There’s a feedback loop.They are leftists because they feel worthless, and they feel worthless because they are leftists. They key is exposure to leftist narratives. Get them out of that bubble, and they have a chance.

      • R C Dean

        Maybe “internalization of” rather than “exposure to”.

      • Gadfly

        This seems a very plausible explanation to me.

  25. Gadfly

    On topic, I do wonder how long this new Bowdlerization will last. These censorship movements seem to come and go in phases. Hope this one will be short.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I do wonder how long this new Bowdlerization will last.

    Until Major _____de Coverly refuses to sign the loyalty oath.

    *i think I remember that correctly