“C’mon, John,” Lump whispered, “You need to snap out of this.”
“Gorkagurka,” John said into his My Pillow. Through the storm of half- and quarter-thoughts raging in the remaining functional parts of his brain, he muttered, “Gisele.”
“She’s gone, John,” Lump said. “Off to Canada, the snowy wasteland. The Twink in the North offered his protection as a fellow Latinx.”
“Canada,” John said, sitting up. He hit the thin asylum mattress with the flat of his acromegalic hand. “Canada, Canada, Canada.”
“Yeah, you know that word, don’t you?” Lump asked while driving a filament deeper into his Broca’s Area in its attempt to rebuild the dead, black neural tissue.
“Trupole,” John said. He fell back into bed, exhausted, the electricity Lump was running through his neural tissue causing a brief petit mal seizure.
“Tru-dough,” Lump whispered. “Or Castro, if you want to get technical.”
John drooled and farted very loudly.
Lump burned away dead cells and ran bursts of energy down damaged neural pathways. The malevolent yolk of sentience at its core grew warm with effort.
John moaned, “Gisele,” again and his misshapen body shuddered; his sobbing shook the bed.
“They are coming on rounds, John,” Lump said, ending his work. “You need to sit up. Up, damn you!”
There was a light, polite knock on the door and the doctors let themselves in.
“Patient’s name is John,” the attendant said. “Committed after treatment for a second stroke in two years. Aphasic, MRI shows large sections of the brain have no activity whatsoever. Family refuses palliative care.”
“De-press,” John groaned at Lump’s prompting.
“Yes,” the doctor said to the assembled care team. “Patient has been told he is under care for depression at his wife’s insistence and to shield his condition from the public.”
“De-press,” John said again. He reached down his pants and began violently masturbating.
“Patient also presents with a twenty centimeter mass on his neck. X-ray and MRI indicate structures too elaborate to be cancerous, but it is obviously a tumor of some kind. Attempted biopsy put the patient in multiple organ failure until the biopsy was halted.”
“Have there been any other attempts to remove or drain it?” one bright-eyed intern asked as he poked at Lump with his ballpoint pen.
“No. Attempts to inject it with methotrexate also led to acute multiple organ failure. It’s almost as if it would rather kill him than be removed or reduced.”
“It sounds like you are suggesting it has a will of its own,” one tiny girl doctor piped up.
“Maybe it does,” the attending said. “I’ve seen strange things in DC medicine. I was once attacked by a particularly vicious mustache.”
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“Let’s get back to rounds,” he said, unconsciously fingering the ugly scar on his hand.
Scars on his hands?
I dont wanna know…..
“Malevolent Yolk!”
lulz
+1 Bolton
That one came out of nowhere.
“Who wants a mustache ride?”
What model?
“Warstache”
It could have been worse. He could have been attacked by a viscous mustache.
“Yes,” the doctor said to the assembled care team. “Patient has been told he is under care for depression at his wife’s insistence and to shield his condition from the public.”
Away with you, and your misogynist stereotypes of female manipulation and cunning.
“De-press,” John groaned at Lump’s prompting.
“Yes,” the doctor said to the assembled care team. “Patient has been told he is under care for depression at his wife’s insistence and to shield his condition from the public.”
Ooof, I often say never feel sorry for these people, but I felt a pang of humanity.
It’s probably just gas.
Yeah, you’ll get over it once John’s wife helps vote in some monstrosity of a bill that takes away or property or freedoms.
“De-press,” John said again. He reached down his pants and began violently masturbating.
Legit laughing out loud.
“Yeah, you know that word, don’t you?” Lump asked while driving a filament deeper into his Broca’s Area in its attempt to rebuild the dead, black neural tissue.
Every week provides an educational opportunity!
And I hat myself for feeling somewhat sorry for Fetterman.
I feel worse for the Lump, to be attached to a slobbering retard like Fetterman.
But that’s what happens when you linger last in line for brains…
Geez, no one?
Is Fetterlump’s wife casting proxy votes in the Senate, yet? I assume that’s coming.
That’s a good question, though. Is “Fetterman” voting in absentia? Did he give his proxy to someone?
If so, who? And can Congressholes give their proxies to just anyone or does it have to be an elected member of Congress? Could a Rep give a proxy to a Senator?
The picture of Fetterlump in the Carhartt hoodie reminds me of something my friend said: “everyone wants to wear Carhartt shit. Nobody wants to do Carhartt shit.”
I don’t want to wear Carhartt. It doesn’t look comfortable.
I have a Carhartt jacket that is very comfortable – once it was broken in.
I have a lined Carhart coverall which is perfect for putting on over office clothes to fees the livestock before work. It also saved my leg from a chainsaw bite when i got a little careless cutting up a round bale. Good stuff.
A lot of my clothes are Carhartt, it lasts. Also, Dickies.
Then again, I have been a tradesman in parts of my life.
This right here^
I’m a Duluth Trading fan myself. It helps that a retail store is just downtown.
Same here.
“The Twink in the North offered his protection as a fellow Latinx”
The best.
See, I though Tru-Doh! was a Latwinx.
The Twink in the North offered his protection as a fellow Latinx.
And if it was anyone other than the Twink in the North, I think he’d be providing other stuff.
Lump burned away dead cells and ran bursts of energy down damaged neural pathways.
We can rebuild him.
I was once attacked by a particularly vicious mustache.
Bolton?
“And if it was anyone other than the Twink in the North, I think he’d be providing other stuff.”
Gisele doesn’t strike me as the type to take no for an answer; if she wants Trudeau’s snowcone, she’ll get it.
Thanks, both of you, for feeding material to SugarFree…
*haunted stare*
The lump is the EGG of Coot. How many eyeballs and mouths does it have? An infinity.
These lovely ladies lumps are ON TOPIC!
https://archive.is/rghMw
Ass Wednesday.
acromegalic – my Glib word-of-the-day.
Fellow Latinks -heh
Hah, I knew the word because I had a college roommate with the condition — he had to undergo a procedure to stop it.
For some reason I’m reminded of this bit of forgotten film
Crazy People
Great movie.
“Boxy but good.”
Related.
I’ve seen strange things in DC medicine.
Now I’m sure, Nixon’s head is in a vat somewhere.
Since this episode wasn’t lunch-threatening, allow me to share this.
When do we start cleaning up this mess?
That shit won’t stop until there are gallows for the perpetrators.
I await the first detransitioner to either:
a) Run for congress
b) Murder their surgeon
c) Murder their parents who made them transition as a kid
Jesus fuck…
And on the (hopefully) flip side: Christian revival spreads to Baylor University
https://www.campusreform.org/article?id=21408
I have started seeing a few articles about this phenomenom happening at various universities. Here is another one, in Kentucky:
https://www.thefp.com/p/why-students-in-kentucky-have-been
You were asking the other day, Where are this generations punks? This might be it.
The fact that a Baptist university is having a Christian revival speaks volumes.
Wild. Maybe these are the rebels we need!
Asbury is Methodist. Not sure what that says about anything happening, I just wouldn’t have expected it there, which makes it even cooler.
Taking off my Christian hat and speaking on just cultural history, there is a long history, especially in the US, of revival then falling away. I forget the normal cycle, but I think we were a bit overdue.
The most recent religious awakening wasn’t Christian, but Marxist/Focaultian instead?
We all react against our parents/authority figures. And considering the period when that particular revolution took place, it was a reaction against the conservative order that came out of WWII. Which was a reaction to the liberal period from between the two wars. ad infinitum. So it should come as no surprise that the next turn in the cycle would be a move to conservative, as the liberal paradigm is failing.
Making an analogy I know more about, the same happens with beer. People don’t want to drink their Father’s beer. That is why there are a lot of changes in the craft beer world that I don’t particularly care for. Craft of todays 20-somethings is not the same is it was for me 25 years ago.
So got off my fucking lawn.
My father’s beer is Pabst lite low alcohol.
Any sane person rebukes that.
I wish the beers my dad drank were still available. So much better than the hop and crap currently plaguing the shelves.
There’s plenty of excellent beers out there that are neither hoppy nor flavored. And much better than the commercial beers that were just about the only thing you could get 30 years ago.
I like hoppy (and flavored, although not some of the flavors going around).
Its more some of the simple styles that I enjoy are harder to find. How many brown ales do you see these days? I mean, yes, they exist, but they are rare.
I had a nice cask-conditioned pale ale the other day. Beer engines never really caught on much in the US, and they may be going out of favor (again!) in the UK.
The historically controversial 4th Great Awakening was late 60s-early 70s: The Jesus Movement. Led to the rise in power of the evangelical denominations.
Wikipedia timeline is:
1st 1730-55
2nd 1790-1840
3rd 1855-1930
4th 1960-1980
Timing seems about right for the 5th.
Jesus Revolution is in theaters now or …. soon?
Now, my pastor mentioned it on Sunday.
Ehem.
Oh my. Nope, can’t watch that.
Is it streaming yet?
I had a terrible inter-generational experience recently.
Talking to the husband of a work colleague, this man who had been described to me as a “huge fan of horror,” and I asked if he had seen Crimes of the Future yet, and he had never heard of it. Or Cronenberg. Or any Cronenberg film whatsoever.
I made an excuse and stumbled away.
Maybe what he meant was that he likes romcoms.
I’m sure the consent they give is fully informed. The “patient” is shown pictures of what their arm will look like, told their ladydick won’t function, and that they are likely to be incontinent them rest of their life. And they said “You bet, doc. I want me some of that!”
This is where the lawsuits will come from, legally.
Do you think lawsuits or violence is more likely?
I think lawsuits. The ruling class seems pretty well protected these days.
Lawsuits, until they are seen to have failed. Then it is blood.
The place to start is to make sure this isn’t happening to minors. And since we’ve decided some things can be restricted to 21, make it 21. If you’re not old enough to drink, then you’re not old enough to have your arm diced up and turned into a dick.
The next thing is what RC Dean mentions below, go after doctors for not fully informing patients of the realistic results and risks of these procedures.
As a libertarian, I have a problem with saying it should be outlawed entirely. And even as a society, we already allow people to mutilate themselves in various ways, so it seems unfair to single out people who want to do this vs. other potentially life altering surgeries and procedures.
I am actually struggling with this right now in my personal life, albeit on the peripheral. It is really challenging some of my pollical beliefs.
In my perfect world there wouldn’t be a need to outlaw it because nobody would be able to find a doctor willing to perform the surgery.
acromegalic
Dammit, back to the dictionary.
Theme music for this week https://youtu.be/c9j1I80aKEc
This feature certainly expands my vocabulary.
Word is the Chicago Mercantile Exchange suspended trades on offshore dollar (eurodollar) futures with expirations past June of this year.
Looks like they’re pulling liquidity from the offshore dollar market which will have significant repercussions in Europe. Hold onto your shorts. If the ECB starts crashing in the near term, who the fuck knows what kind of stunts are going to be pulled.
https://www.cmegroup.com/articles/faqs/transitioning-from-eurodollar-futures-and-options-to-sofr-faq.html
Yeah, SOFR is kicking in at the end of June. I’m certain that is part of it, but you would assume that a repricing structure would be phased in gradually, not a total suspension. Are they just going to turn it back on months form now? How does that work?
I dunno. Are SOFR futures frozen as well or is it just so that they can convert existing post June eurodollar futures over? It sounds like post June Eurodollars should have already been limited to existing contracts since last fall’s announcement.
Oh, Tres? Someone here to meet you.
She’s at least cute
6’8″! Jebus…
I like an Amazonian woman, but that might be too much.
Toe to toe – your nose is in it.
Nose to nose – your toes are in it.
A long time since I heard that.
She’s fine, but too old and the tats as always.
Tat’s only really bug me if they are on the hands or neck/face. Otherwise, it is the current thing. And who am I to talk.
I’m tall, young, sexy, and have a good job, so I can be as picky as I want*.
*I’m also married so it’s a completely theoretical endeavor
I note she is wearing pants.
Those breasts are not pure muscle.
A collection of them.
Im in love.
It’s a goose- and it lays golden eggs. Let’s kill it and eat it.
The Equity Commission at the U.S. Department of Agriculture has released its first report detailing over 30 recommendations to bring equity to farming.
The USDA Equity Commission was born out of a Biden executive order calling for federal departments to address racial equity and underserved communities. It is led by outgoing Deputy Secretary Jewel Bronaugh and United Farm Workers President Emeritus Arturo Rodriguez.
The release of the report comes on Bronaugh’s last day. She is the first Black woman to serve as the No. 2 spot at USDA.
“We didn’t want this set of interim recommendations to look like things we’ve seen in previous reports,” Bronaugh said at the unveiling of the document Tuesday morning. “We wanted to get at systemic change.”
I’m sure the Zimbabweans can provide a few pointers.
It’s like a reference to the person’s race, sex or sexual preference is required in any article about government employees these days.
You didn’t see her picture. She is next to a black man, and if they didn’t tell you she was black, you wouldn’t know.
You’re not kidding.
Is she a Markel?
You white people will labor for us?
“equity to farming.”
I thought this was going to be about venture capitalism. Much despondent.
Should it not be Twinx?
“There’s a reason why this is different. We have very serious people around this table,” said Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack during the report’s unveiling at the department Tuesday morning. “People that have lived experiences, people who have studied and dedicated their life to these issues and it would be disrespectful for us not to take this work incredibly seriously.”
Stop it. You’re killing me.
You can have very serious people, or you can have people who talk about ‘lived experiences.’ You can’t have both.
Dedicated their lives to the issues
Ideologues to the one with no practical experience and no sense of reality.
Anyone around the table who has actually, you know, farmed?
“The seeds don’t care you’re black. Neither do the weeds, the bugs, or the weather. So what the fuck are we doing here jabbering about systemic racism? “
We have very serious people around this table
Seriously incompetent.
dedicated their life to these issues
Issues such as injecting skin pigment and genital contents intoeverything.
for us not to take this work incredibly seriously
You don’t appear to.
https://twitter.com/beinlibertarian/status/1630661081386328064?s=20
What a thought-provoking meme.
Not mind-blowing?
I don’t knoll about that.
Nothing to see here:
https://alexberenson.substack.com/p/urgent-stillbirths-nearly-doubled
I’ve been recently informed that my son and his new wife are expecting. Fuck this news (^^^).
Huzzah! I hope they have an uneventful pregnancy and you will have a new grandchild.
Yes! Congrats ji! Prayers inbound for happy and healthy kids!
Congrats!!!
Congratulations and I wish them both the best.
Thanks all. And Scruffyy, knock it off with the negative vibes! ~Sgt Oddball
My apologies. I’m a bit wound up lately.
Yeah, you couldn’t know, so no worries.
May your seed stay strong.
Apparently the boy is a chip off the old block, he was conceived with no great effort.
Excellent
May the offspring be 6’8″, eat only raw meat, and be capable of destroying nations!
I’ve seen this story arc. Aschen Vaccine
The report recommends that the department:
Provide more funding for grants and cooperative agreements for nonprofit organizations to work with farmers on land access and heir’s property issues;
Giving “nonprofits” more government money, and de facto government authority?
You could knock me over with a feather.
Advocates for farmers of color have argued that rejections and withdrawals often happen because the multi-step application process is too cumbersome and confusing.
You CANNOT farm without USDA help and approval. It is known.
Farmers of color? How the fuck do you grow color?
Eggplant?
Indigo
It’s a mood.
Yellow corn?
Now that I think about, I haven’t seen Indian corn in the grocery stores for several years. Used to see dried open ears of it around Halloween/Thanksgiving.
By growing indigo?
Does it grow where it falls out of your ass?
It grows best where it falls out of your ass.
Depends on the animal I think.
Blackberries!
Advocates, huh? “Here, children, let the nice white proggies help you with the forms.”
Smells a tad bit racist to me.
All those black farmers who bailed out of the south to work in factories after WWII just needed some counseling by white nonprofiteers.
Now this is how you get rid of the homeless. Two, three months tops before they’ve OD’ed and are only an issue of disposal.
If it’s in cash form, the camps will be raided by gangs the very first day.
My guess is they will be overwhelmed with applicants. That’s enough money for about 2000 people, assuming it’s all going straight to them with no overhead. There are an estimated 12K homeless in Seattle alone.
Just got my (new to me) GETAC S400 cop car computer. Ubuntu installed, all systems go. Pretty fantastic. It might just replace the seven year old Mac. No more broken “n” key!
So you can finally type the n word again?
I thought he was a Philly fan – what with the ‘iggles references.
I can! Look out twitter! That ratio of “N” word usage is about to explode!
Hahaha, I can just imagine the Trump tweet coming “only losers read“.
Probably more like, “Winners read my books, not books from some second rate governor. My books are the best, the gold standard. Like tablets that Moses received from God. Everyone says so.”
I thought the gold tablets were from a magic hat, not Moses.
Fake news. Everyone says it’s Moses. Everyone.
If passed, the bill would sunset after two years. But the bill would also require the Portland State University Homelessness Research and Action Collaborative to study more permanent long-term cash-assistance programs that the Legislative Assembly could approve in 2025.
According to the bill, the university study must explore various policy-design choices and program models for providing long-term cash assistance to a variety of populations in different regions of Oregon. It must consider “disparate impacts on communities of color, immigrant and refugee communities and persons identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and other minority gender identities and sexual orientations.” It also must explore how to make cash-assistance accessible to “to individuals who do not have Social Security numbers or who have only taxpayer identification numbers,” the bill states.
“I think the end game is to really create a permanent program,” said Rebekah Markillie, a member of Residents Organizing for Change, a network of Oregon affordable housing advocates, according to a report by KATU, Portland’s ABC affiliate.
Leading the way. What could possibly go wrong?
Make it stop.
Let me tell you about my junk, which completely dominates my personality, but how dare you ask me about it.
My junk! My junk! My lovely lady junk!
I’m more confused by the “straight” person.
You apparently aren’t the only confused straight person.
“I’m straight, but I’ll fuck you no matter what.”
He isn’t picky as long as they are women?
Obligatory
“I’ll try anything once.”
I think some guys enjoy the idea of having sex with another person with a penis and still considering themselves “straight” because the sexual partner claims to be a trans woman (mtf without a bottom surgery).
Traps/femboys/sissy’s are a thing.
*sissies
?
Any port in a storm?
Yeah, exactly the same.
Referring back to the Russia/ Ukraine discussion this morning…
This video is a kind of primer. I like the story that starts at 26:00. The neo-cons wanted Obama to start a war in Syria after the fake gas attack. He wanders into a meeting with Putin without a State Dept neo-con handler, and they quickly work out a peace plan much to the chagrin of the warmongers.
https://youtu.be/DNZ7biiVNkk
My gut is saying that with the collapsing Ukrainian army, we’ve got another false flag incoming, just like in Syria when Assad started winning.
It’s just that the stakes are a lot higher this time, so any untimely events will be scaled to match.
Keep hearing about Moldova and it all sounds manufactured.
Equally, this is good with Peter Hitchens and apparently right before Russia/Ukraine kicked off. So it’s not directly on that point, but it covers WHY we shouldn’t be surprised by it.
Dog Update: Got back from visiting Fourscore and picked up my puppy. He’s been home for 24 hours and has torn up my arm with his claws, chewed my Apple watch, chewed every electrical cord he can reach, and left two MASSIVE (and I mean hobo-sized) piles of shit in the dining room.
It’s just like having WebDom moved back in here.
You should rename him to Steve Bannon
When you bring him to visit, he can stay in the back yard until he’s housebroken.
I am so glad I got cats.
RJ’s house.
Minnesota in February is impressive!
Poor little dude clearly missed you.
Buy him premium food and the shits will be much, much smaller.
Well, that’s no fun. Everybody loves giant poops!
Just got my (new to me) GETAC S400 cop car computer.
??
Surplus auction? Or scored from the Dunkin Donuts parking lot?
eBay. There are people who refurbish them with new SSDs and fresh installs of either Windows 10 or Ubuntu. It is a fine thing. The keyboard is magnificent. Backlight will work for outdoor Zooms.
They are cheap!
Can you link to the place you bought from?
Yes, one moment. This link could be ugly. This is to another one with Ubuntu. He has others with Windows 10.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/155362902124?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=Rfghj8TgS7m&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=p2HrH_XlQsm&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
I believe I am going to name it “Lump” as a Joemala tribute.
Thanks!
We used to take them in trade for newer systems (keep the buyer inhouse) and they would sit until we needed the space. And then it was eBay central.
Annual bonus amounts released. After income taxes, mine should still be more than enough to cover my school taxes. However, the Long Term Incentive bonuses are more impressive, if less liquid. Those are about 20% of salary.
I’d like a 20% of salary bonus. 🙁
GlibFit:
Troll-perfection edition.
Fixed link
*tips cap*
The thing with starting strength is, I don’t want to look like a bowling ball.
You should write them an email.
“So it might be you’re a Black farmer that’s operating on heirship property who hasn’t had the benefit of a cooperator technical assistance provider right there on the ground with them to help them navigate this,” Ducheneaux said to NPR of Black farmers who have owned land for generations but may not know how to navigate USDA’s processes. “By virtue of the lack of support structure around them, they’re going to come to the application process less prepared.”
At he risk of exposing myself as an asshole (at best), it seems as if black people in other circumstances have no difficulty whatsoever understanding and exploiting the ins and outs of government programs.
I wonder how much of this new push is driven by a drive on the part of those nonprofit benefactors to help black farmers (the ones actually working the land, anyway) to overcome their foolish pride and get aboard the gravy train.
Pigford redux.
Wasn’t there just some bit about getting blacks out of the cities and into the countryside? Even had a whiff of ‘their natural connection with the land’.
So, are you saying that they won’t cotton to the work?
Down here in the South there are still country blacks living a lifestyle that would otherwise be called redneck. I doubt many urban blacks are interested in that lifestyle.
I’m guessing the answer to “how of this new push” is . . . 100%.
I might have missed it above . If so, I don’t really give fuck, because it doesn’t deserve one. Lump. Also, if I fucked this link, I don’t care. This means you, Ted S. Also, everyone else. Other than that, hope you’re all having a nice day.
If I was rude in my previous post…aah screw it. I’ll try to get my new cartoon out by weekend.
You’ve earned the right to be rude
Wasn’t there just some bit about getting blacks out of the cities and into the countryside? Even had a whiff of ‘their natural connection with the land’.
Another manifestation of the progressives’ zookeeper mentality.
OBE, you see this clusterfuck?
I would think knowing your right from your left is sort of important in ATC.
It must be due to diversity goals/lowered standards/unqualified people. ATC has never fucked up like that in the past.