[EDITOR’S NOTE: Ron is under the weather and we wish him a speedy recovery. The “Friday Stoic” column will return next week.]
Previous works from the same author. Please note that episode numbers are non-linear, for obvious reasons.
The Awesome Adventures of Secret Commie President!!!11!1!!, Episode 46
About The Author
Penguin
BakedPenguin is a graduate of some school or another, smells like a homeless person, and has the friendly demeanor of a rabid wolverine.
Mmm… Newsish.
Now if I were retarded, I’d look at the timestamps and complain about not being first.
Chaos isn’t linear either.
Random Drunken Asshole for Pope!
*standing ovation*
It’s back! Love it
Penguin has also teased me with a preview of other forthcoming material. It’s good, so very good.
Tonio, I’ll be dropping in a bonus item probably later today. Use as fits best.
(Hint: It’s another Profile in Toxic Masculinity.)
W00t! Thanks.
There’ll probably be another ST:TNG Missing Episode prior to another SCP.
I dunno who Lauren Entifay is, but I’d like to get to know her.
♪♫ Laila, you got me on my knees…
Don’t say ‘Gaetz’.
Matt Gaetz:
“I intend to utilize the new rules secured in the House of Representatives to offer amendments to the Appropriations Act to zero out the salaries of ATF bureaucrats for breaking the law and abusing the liberties of our fellow Americans.”
Interesting strategy.
Baller.
🙂
Super, Penguin. A little light spot and a respite from reality. Or is it?
When reality seems like it can’t get worse, it does. Good show, now we wait…
I have missed this content.
+1
Wonderful! All is right with the Universe again.
I don’t know which I love more, the cat-headed handlers or the RDH.
I LOLed at the head-tilt one of them gave Joe.
Becky Hurt. Yes.
“We’re nearly at war with Russia and all he cares about is kids.”
” And not in a good way.”
That’s Secret Commie gold right there.
Behold the boat that blew up a major gas pipeline.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/investigators-puzzle-over-yachts-possible-role-in-nord-stream-blast-26012a47
This seems to be the official narrative now, and anyone who says otherwise is an Ultra MAGA Supreme.
I think I had one of those at Taco Bell one time. Memories are blurry though…
So glad this is back. Well done, Penguin!
Tragic devastation at the Ministry of Truth
NPR moved this week to cut 10 percent of its staff and stop production of a trio of acclaimed seasonal podcasts — Invisibilia, Louder Than a Riot and Rough Translation — as it seeks to close a yawning budget gap that stands in excess of $30 million.
The network also canceled a comedy podcast unveiled just a year ago called Everyone & Their Mom, a spinoff of the mainstay radio program Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.
“We literally are fighting to secure the future of NPR at this very moment by restructuring our cost structure. It’s that important,” NPR chief executive John Lansing said in an interview. “It’s existential.”
Lansing said the network sought to protect its core public service mission of journalism while preserving what he calls its “North Star.” Since joining NPR four years ago, Lansing has pushed to ensure the network has a bigger and broader audience base, rooted in younger and more diverse listeners, readers and consumers who will serve as the next generation of NPR supporters.
How will the nation survive without our propaganda and incessant cheerleading for the Total Control State?
Since joining NPR four years ago, Lansing has pushed to ensure the network has a bigger and broader audience base, rooted in younger and more diverse listeners
Younger, maybe. More diverse, lol.
Communists, Socialists & Fascists! Much Diverse!
We got both kinds: Liberals and Progressive Liberals
Don’t forget the socialists!
That’s assumed, you may as well said environmentalist.
greeeeeeeeeeeeens……
They listen to both kinds of politics, Communism AND socialism!
¿por qué no…?
“its core public service mission of journalism”
Wait, I thought they cancelled the comedy. Because that’s solid gold, right there.
I heard of snippet of one of their talking heads last night rambling about OMB or something and almost had to leap for the remote. They all talk like that, don’t they?
And now I’m thinking about the event last year where the Easter Bunny prevented Biden from interacting with reporters. That really happened.
I ‘member.
Excellent.
Hi everyone. Thanks to everyone who liked it, sorry to any who didn’t. Bigly thanks to Tonio, (and to a somewhat lesser extent, Swiss) who has been dealing with a serious asshole of a contributor, namely me.
[High-fives flightless waterfowl.]
Good show pengui
Thx, CPRM. When you’re nearly done with the next Hat and Hair™, Let us know.
Nice work Pengy … Next Hat and Hair is Wednesday the 29th at 1900!
dealing with a serious asshole of a contributor, namely me.
Flogging will continue until morale improves.
Herstory.
KAMALA HARRIS: “During Women’s History Month, we celebrate and we honor the women who made history throughout history — who saw what could be, unburdened by what had been…”
Followed by handing an award to a man, no doubt.
Lauren Entifay’s gaffer tape brassiere looks uncomfortable.
Not as uncomfortable as an underboob rash. She might be airing them out for a reason. But I understand what you mean.
They are harmless without that thing that goes up.
Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee praises the ATF for the rule change on stabilizing braces: “I commend the ATF for… identifying a problem and providing guidance to prevent the harm created by the misuse of stabilizing braces, which convert every day firearms into killing machines.”
Thank you for the reminder that most of my guns are intended for killing.
AFAIK, my primary has only killed one person — and it was an accident. Oh the irony.
“convert every day firearms into killing machines.”
Err . . . . Who wants to tell her?
Tell her that she’s an idiot?
Ah fuck. If you want to know what I mean about being an asshole contributor, I was constantly (metaphorically) screaming to Tonio about making this change or that, and I still forgot to put a big cocktail in Schwab’s hand.
Next time make it a cocktail of crickets…
A cockroach smoothie? I thought that was for the little people!
Also, thanks, Tundra.
A Cockroach Smoothie? Is that when she gets up and faces the wall with a billyclub and a blind fold?
Holy shit, that is brilliant, Penguin!
Using teletubbies to control slow Joe is inspired.
Using teletubbies to control slow Joe is inspired.
What is the mechanism? Subliminal messages flickering across the belly screen?
Russian pranksters pretending to be Zelensky got a call into LaGarde.
She openly admits to the planned introduction of a digital euro in October of this year.
https://youtu.be/CtrNk2jHyVM?t=854
Get well soon, Ron. It’s a Stoicism test!
I second this. Health and wellness to our Stoic Ron! This should make a good write up next Friday.
The world makes SugarFree’s job harder…
https://nypost.com/2023/03/24/massive-order-of-kfc-spotted-outside-xi-jinpings-hotel-in-moscow/
Chick-Fil-A would have been funnier.
A honey supply truck would have been even funnier.
Suckling Piglet?
Alas.
I’m remember KFC outnumbering McDonald’s by like 10 to 1 when I visited China. They like their chicken.
Whoever it was that posted about Ribbonfarm – wow, am I down the rabbit hole there.
I just noticed the pic on the Teletubbie. Is that Pol Pot?!?
Sorry, I never got past Lauren Entifay.
Yes. Also, in case you missed them, check to the right and left of Joe during the speech it’s not just Teletubbies bossing Joe around.
There should be a period somewhere in that word salad.
I prefer my salads without a period in them.
Thats ’cause you like them tossed.
Have you ever watched an episode of Teletubbies? It’s of the devil, I tell you.
I told this to my brother and SIL. He said, “Dafuq? You just bought Hellbilly Deluxe.”
Well, yeah, but that’s just fake Satan worship. Teletubbies is the real deal.
I had nightmares that they had teeth and gaping mouths.
You’re welcome.
They’re creepy, though I thought the sun baby was kind of cool. My kids never liked it much, thankfully.
Personally, I think it looks like SEA SMITH dropped a deuce.
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/mystery-object-found-near-nord-stream-pipelines-could-point-culprit
A crytpid copralite!
This is awesome Penguin. Total fan service. And also darker than Joemala.
https://thehill.com/changing-america/enrichment/education/3914931-record-book-ban-attempts-reported-last-year/
Generally I do not believe in bans of any kind but why hide what books were being restricted?
Oh…it’s almost dead thread time
Because they’re lying.
WOO! Nice one, Penguin!
For SBR/SBS, that is incorrect. Those were the result of trying to close a loophole when all handguns were banned. When the handgun ban was removed, the SBR/SBS language was left in. It wasn’t a compromise nor was it due to some higher power theory.
Wrong thread shit.
Standing…..Ovation!