“Mr. President, please, your hand is shaking again,” the photographer said. They would sedate him later, rough him up a bit and leave him outside an Anacostia crack house. Operational security was paramount.
“The can is heavy,” Joe complained.
“Should we pour out half the can?” the photographer asked Finnegan.
“I got it,” Karine said. She grabbed the can of Bud Light from Joe’s hand and drained it in four long gulps.
“Hey! I was drinking that!” Joe said.
“No!” Finnegan said. “You can’t drink that. It’s poison, you’ll die.”
“Poison?” Joe asked, shocked, hand clutching his chest Fred Sanford-style.
“Here,” Karine said. “Here’s another can.” She had fished it noisily from the cooler. “There’s plenty, they sent us sixty cases of the stuff.”
“It’s still going to weigh too much,” the photographer said. A sharp blow to his occipital bun would scramble his memory of this in a few hours.
Karine cracked open the can with a cackle and drank off half, handing it to Joe.
“How many of those have you had today?” Finnegan asked.
“What? Like, I dunno, 10? They are full of vitamins and estrogen my body needs, Finney.”
“Don’t call me that,” Finnegan said tightly.
“Oh, whatever,” Karine said and honked Finnegan’s right breast like a bicycle horn.
“I like this one,” Joe said. “She’s fun. What’s her name?”
“Grandpa, can we just finish this photoshoot?”
“What’s a photoshoot?” Joe asked with wide innocent eyes.
“Hold the can up, sir,” Karine slurred. “Now turn it to show the woman in the can.”
“Who is this?” Joe asked looking at the can. “Audrey Hepburn? She looks fucking terrible.”
“It’s the person who sent us all the beer, Grandpa. We want to send a Tweet out before we leave for Ireland.”
“I love redheads,” Joe said dreamily. “Is she a redhead?” he asked, pointing at the can.
Karine began giggling, holding it in, clutching her sides.
“I like her smile,” Joe said. “I wonder what her hair smells like.”
Karine broke a loud, boozy guffaw shot out of her.
“Blackberry!” Joe said excitedly. “When did you get here?”
“I have to go to the bathroom, sir!” she yelped, grabbing another can from the cooler and running from the room.”
“Women troubles, probably,” Joe said, lingering over the can again. “I bet she doesn’t have any of those problems.”
The photographer then broke as well, laughing convulsively, and a Secret Service agent behind him slipped a needle into his neck.
clutching his chest Fred Samson-style.
*weeps*
What, you never watched Samson and Son?
I think SF is too young to have seen the original run.
No it was a regular watch in our house. I even describe my father as an unholy mix of Fred Sanford, Foghorn Leghorn and John Wayne.
“Pilgrim, I say Pilgrim, this is the real one.”
“I’m coming Wheezy” takes on a new meaning with this bunch.
Elizabeth.
Fred never did move on up.
Getting my 70s sitcoms confused.
The best part of the show was when Lamont would say “DYN-O-MITE!”
Hey hey hey.
That was Rerun.
Mushmouth.
“I’m coming, Dr. Jill!”
Get a towel
🙁
Fucking autocorrect!
Careful, SF will hit you with his jawbone of an ass.
The photographer then broke as well, laughing convulsively, and a Secret Service agent behind him slipped a needle into his neck.
Somebody in the White House is responsible for these leaks, I just know it.
Thankfully, no Dylan Mulvany picture. Explosive diarrhea is no way to start the morning.
Operational security was paramount.
Damn straight.
“Audrey Hepburn? She looks fucking terrible.”
Audrey Hepburn was no beauty, but come on.
Are you insane?
Forget about it, Tundra. It’s Brookstown.
Anything can happen.
The running meme on the left is that Dylan is a modern Hepburn. And they dressed him like Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the photoshoot of him pretending to drink their terrible beer.
I’ve long prided myself on my ability to fap to anything, but that mental image just did it.
You didn’t even have to touch yourself?
Just do it!
(he’s also selling Nike products)
If you dare.
https://www.tiktok.com/@user.666_x0/video/7193425445633707269
Ok, now that’s obscene.
TikTok Star Dylan Mulvaney Dishes on Her Sexy ‘2023 Audrey Hepburn’ GRAMMYs Look
The dress, the pearls, the upswept hairdo is all to invoke Hepburn
Bud Light stands behind partnership with trans activist Dylan Mulvaney despite backlash
If there were any doubt that they actually hate women, it should be dispelled now.
“Womanface” is the misogynist version of blackface.
This. And I never hesitate to point that out to anyone who is on the fence about things.
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BreakableCompassionateHedgehog-max-1mb.gif
Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
But very consistent terrible beer.
That is blasphemy.
On Golden Pond-age Katharine, at best.
“Oh, whatever,” Karine said and honked Finnegan’s right breast like a bicycle horn.
Gold..
That was my favorite line.
“Don’t call me that,” Finegan said tightly.
“Oh, whatever,” Karine said and honked Finnegan’s right breast like a bicycle horn.
Finegan/Finnegan, they’re all the same.
Karl/Harpo same-same
“Who is this?” Joe asked looking at the can. “Audrey Hepburn? She looks fucking terrible.”
Amazing.
A sharp blow to his occipital bun would scramble his memory of this in a few hours.
What’s one more unclaimed John Doe in the nation’s capitol?
Are you insane?
Yes, apparently. I was thinking of Katherine Hepburn. There is an epidemic of mis-naming in this post.
Ahem…Katharine?
Ah, there we can find common ground.
You want to know what terrifies me – that we’re all getting caught up in Joe’s brain and that’s why everything is scrambled.
Fucking autocorrect!
He says, as he points the the syringe skyward and tapd it to shake any air bubbles loose.
Hey. man. Be cool, man. Keep that on the DL, man.
And they dressed him like Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the photoshoot of him pretending to drink their terrible beer.
They should dress him like Marilyn Monroe and blow his skirt up.
Maybe the Raquel Welch One Million Years B.C. poster too?
Rule 34, you sicko.
Well, now they know they can do a reboot of Myra Breckinridge.
That would be hilarious.
And have him sing Happy Birthday to Biden?
With a bomb?
A Bomb!.
“Anheuser-Busch works with hundreds of influencers across our brands as one of many ways to authentically connect with audiences across various demographics and passion points,” a spokesperson for the company told Fox News. “From time to time, we produce unique commemorative cans for fans and for brand influencers, like Dylan Mulvaney. This commemorative can was a gift to celebrate a personal milestone and is not for sale to the general public.”
They market their beer to black people and hispanics, too. Maybe even Koreans.
They should do a commemorative can for Roof Koreans.
“Oh, whatever,” Karine said and honked Finnegan’s right breast like a bicycle horn.
Heh.
we’re all getting caught up in Joe’s brain and that’s why everything is scrambled.
Enveloped by dense, creeping fog.
Joe is the failing software of the simulation we are all in.
In which Elon Musk filets a BBC reporter who tries to shame him on the altar of misinformation and hate speech.
The interesting bit for me is when he claims to have personal knowledge of Twitter being filled with hate speech. When. Must challenges him to name some examples,. He backtracks to say that actually he doesn’t even use Twitter.
I found it interesting because I have been noticing that aspect of human nature a lot recently.People who actually believe things that they know are not true. This guy actually believes that he has personally experienced a rise in hate speech on Twitter, even though he also knows that it isn’t the case. And until Elon Musk challenges him to produce an example, he has not confronted these 2 ideas which are in conflict in his mind. It causes him extreme discomfort.
This is the cognitive dissonance we talk about. A beautiful example.
And what does he do? He quickly retreats from the conflict between what he believes and reality. Since continuing to examine this conflict will destroy a belief that he holds, he must stop. So he does.
He protects his irrational belief.
This is how politics works. This is why the control over what people see and hear is so important.
Scientific studies have shown that irrational beliefs are the hardest to change. If you came to an opinion via emotion rather than rational analysis, rational analysis does not work to change the belief. People will fight back just like this reporter did.
Antifa. BLM. #resist. Trans women are women! Mostly peaceful.
That is the entire point of these emotional appeals and group identities. If you create a core belief via emotional appeal and repetition, it will be very difficult to change.
https://youtu.be/XqJKAnN0-gM
Adding the link helps
I retweeted that. It was the old “If you repeat a lie enough people will believe it”. He says he personally saw an uptick in hate speech, can’t site an example, then says “Well not hate speech but almost hate speech”, then can’t site an example of that, then finally says “Well another organization whose job is to find hate speech said it’s true, so everyone knows it’s true and cased closed.” And dismisses it.
And the Elon continued to obliterate him. Good show Elon!
That exchange was beautiful.
Does the Daily Fail just not get the ‘BBC’ jokes or are they choosing not to?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11964299/Elon-Musk-accuses-BBC-reporter-lying-hate-speech-Twitter.html
‘Penetrating deep & hard with @BBC.’
Oh, that was intentional
Any similarity to actual government propaganda out lets is purely coincidental
NPR will no longer post fresh content to its 52 official Twitter feeds, becoming the first major news organization to go silent on the social media platform. In explaining its decision, NPR cited Twitter’s decision to first label the network “state-affiliated media,” the same term it uses for propaganda outlets in Russia, China and other autocratic countries.
——-
By going silent on Twitter, NPR’s chief executive says the network is protecting its credibility and its ability to produce journalism without “a shadow of negativity.”
“The downside, whatever the downside, doesn’t change that fact,” NPR CEO John Lansing said in an interview. “I would never have our content go anywhere that would risk our credibility.”
——-
“At this point I have lost my faith in the decision-making at Twitter,” he says. “I would need some time to understand whether Twitter can be trusted again.”
We can’t help it if our message aligns perfectly with the establishment narrative. We all just happen to be working with the same facts.
You can’t risk something if you don’t have it in the first place.
He actually backed off a bit, but it appears that didn’t placate them.
https://www.foxnews.com/media/twitter-removes-nprs-state-affiliated-designation-replaces-government-funded-label
That seems very fair, actually.
We should be able to cut NPR’s budget without any fuss then.
I was hearing something on NPR last night (Mrs S keeps it on constantly), and I couldn’t actually get past the reporter’s speech pattern to listen to the content. She spoke as if she was talking to one of her BFFs in a sorority house, with no attempt at speaking standard English. It sounded like they are getting all their reporters these days from the Valley Girl School of Communications. Cronkite must be turning over in his grave. Do they not do any training on accents and speaking anymore?
I suppose their other three listeners didn’t mind, so whatever. Totally awesome.
Bud Lite pretends to be beer. Joe Biden pretends to be president.
Pitching a new sitcom idea?
I haven’t figured it out yet but there has to be a TransAm / Transgender joke in there somewhere.
Hasn’t CPRM referenced Turbo Teen before?
I was wrong, not a Myra Breckinridge reboot – Smokey and the Bandit. And the TransAm gets replaced by various muscle cars without anyone ever admitting anything changed.
They have to get a truckload of Bud Light from San Jose to Frisco (in traffic) in 28 Hrs or Big Anus wins Bandit’s Prius.
Bandit — Champion swimmer Lia Thomas in xer acting debut.
Snowman — Chaz Bono
Hitchhiker — Dylan Mulvaney
*standing ovation*
I sets ’em up and they knocks ’em out of the the park!
Is there a surly orangutan involved or do I have the wrong iconic ‘70s movie?
Stacey Abrams as Sheriff Buford T Justice.
Robert Reich as Little Penis, er, Little Enos.
He is tall enough to play a Paul Williams part?
This a pure and amazing vision. Where’s Netflix?
Bud Light boycott over trans activist Dylan Mulvaney pact ‘has legs’ as sales outlook thrown into doubt
AB InBev brands: Good news is that our margins on Modelo are higher than Bud Light. This campaign is awesome!
The running meme on the left is that Dylan is a modern Hepburn. And they dressed him like Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
The movie which also featured Mickey Rooney being passed off as a caricature Japanese person, which is an outrage and an abomination to the same people celebrating Dylanium’s bravery and truth.
Charade was a better movie in every respect.
🤜🤛
Charade > Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Reading some things about Bruce Lee enlightened me on that Mickey Rooney character. I always thought it was cringy, but at the time there was real discrimination against Asians in Hollywood. They cast white people for Asian roles (like David Carradine) and kept Asian actors to bit parts. This was why Bruce Lee filmed his movies in Hong Kong.
Yes. Also why Jackie Chan stopped trying to make films here. He comes back occasionally, but his market and freedom to produce what he wants is in China.
there has to be a TransAm / Transgender joke in there somewhere.
A Trans Am is a Camaro in drag.
Maybe beginning in 1982. Prior to that, when Pontiac had their own motors (and some Olds motors) that wasn’t true of the powertrain.
Nothing like cost cutting GM.
We can change the badges and the trim but essentially have the same body. However, every division can have it’s own unique engine lineup!
GM always had a great idea in the works that never seemed to pan out. They make a great looking show car that had a very positive response and could be called a proto modern SUV, but then when executed the actual machine is one of the ugliest cars made.
The bean counters get involved and removed the oversized for the day tires and wheels and replace them with tiny ones with shitty hubcaps. The body cladding looks ridiculous and stupid once it is fully realized and manufactured.
https://oldconceptcars.com/wp-content/uploads/pontiac_aztek_concept_4.jpg
https://www.motortrend.com/features/pontiac-aztek-2001-2005-history-retrospective/
Fiero is another great example. They make a fun sporty looking car using plastic panels that won’t rust and allow wide customization, has a lot of future potential, but when executed the car is unreliable with a tired old 87hp engine. It sells incredibly well for the first few years then falls on it’s face after the reliability issues are seen. By 1988 the last model is released and it’s a great car that finally reached it’s original promise. It is then too late and the car line is discontinued.
Fieros were catching fire at the rate of one for every 508 cars sold, surpassing all other mass-market automobile cars.[21] Pontiac engineers knew about the problems early on: one wrote an urgent memo dated October 6, 1983, to report that two Fieros had suddenly caught fire during test drives. This was only 3 months after the production of the Fiero began.
I always liked the Fiero. They are still around and the late models seem to bring decent money.
https://bringatrailer.com/pontiac/fiero/
I’d be happy to have one of the last V6 GT 5 speeds.
They finally had a real suspension and motor. Naturally GM killed it after that.
That motor was still a dog, but the trans, steering, and suspension were finally worked out.
The initial car was shit because they used Chevy Citation parts as the basis for all those pieces.
My understanding is they took the FWD architecture (engine, transmission and suspension) including the steering and simply fixed it into place backwards.
Exactly.
The hot fix a few years back was to put in the Northstar V8 and transaxle from a Cadillac STS to make a Fiero what it was really meant to be.
On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors
Great book. Written before he became a drug dealer.
Killed it just as the Miata hit the market and showed how insanely popular the concept could be when executed properly.
RX-7s were kicking ass at the time as well.
+ 1 Iron Duke.
Fiero was also intentionally nerfed so as not to compete with GM’s performance offerings from Chevy.
Hey!
A friend has a ’90’s Thunder Chicken, and it apperantly makes as much power as a ‘Vette.
My 90’s thunder Chicken was a blast. It did have the Fiero inspired plastic front fenders, door panels, and other body parts. It was light, quick, and a blast to drive with the 6 speed.
I had the Japanese version, meaning MR2. Fun as hell but squirrelie as can be in the wet. I still miss that thing.
Wait, that’s a Trans Am? My car lingo’s getting rusty.
Alright. Was ist “Thunder Chicken”?
Thunder Chicken
I have also heard people use the term to refer to Thunderbirds as well.
I thought about T-birds, but that seemed, not quite right.
I don’t think I ever heard anyone call the firebird a thunder chicken.
The engines/transmissions were referred to as BOP pattern. Buick Olds, and Pontiac.
Judges?
“We’ll allow it.”
“What we need here are drag races. You know, to see how fast men can run in women’s clothing.”
TY, Green Acres.
The photographer is dead, right?
Sadly he committed suicide.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11782661/Shotgun-near-body-Clinton-aide-linked-Epstein.html
Two to the back of the head with his left hand, which is weird, because he was right handed.
And, strangely, bot hand were handcuffed behind him.
We can only conclude that he was a circus contortionist.
Speaking of dying from suicide, soon.
Yep. Mr. McCormick was found dismembered in a 55 gallon drum, police have ruled it a suicide. He must be crazy putting his name out there.
President “I will end fossil fuels!” LOL.
Daily Quordle 443
4️⃣3️⃣
5️⃣6️⃣
a good day
Do I send this to the latest NPR Lady? My brain says yes, my heart says yes, my penis says no.
Fuck. Penis wins. It always does.
Heed the words of Uncle John: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P32YbsJUa18
She is going to find out about this site sooner or later.
I’m more worried about the Fed. But she might actually be cool with it. NPR Lady has a Black Lives Matter lawn sign.
You should consider treating your penis better.
Just pat it on the head and give it the occasional tick bath and it’ll be fine.
You should add a JEW FROS MATTER sign without telling her.
she might actually be cool with it. NPR Lady has a Black Lives Matter lawn sign.
I don’t see how she will be cool with it.
I choose to believe this is a hipster hairstyle.
Snip it off and they lose their hipster powers like Sampson and his strength.
*Sanford
What’s Brock got to do with it?
*golf clap*
My phone’s autocorrect is dead to me.
Random hot pepper plant update: 23 sprouted. Lost one. One more kinda iffy.
And of course, the apocalypse scorpion we over wintered is still going good indoors.
Last season my gf said “next year we’re going to pull back on the # of plants.”
😂🤣
I’ve got 6 out of 8 of my seedlings of the Prairie Fire peppers going, I’m hoping to transplant them into a real pot and get them outside this weekend.
Neat looking.
That’s why the girlfriend and I went with them. If they get to fruiting, I’ll take some pictures, Pepper plants are pretty deer, chipmunk, squirrel, and rabbit resistant (being hot enough to hurt them helps). Not sure how good they’ll work in a culinary capacity, but that’s just a secondary issue.
Some birds love them hot, but they typically wait until they’re drying out.
Birds can’t taste capsaicin.
That’s the point. The birds’ digestive tracts don’t destroy the seeds the way mammals’ do. So they’d rather have the birds eat the fruits and thus spread the seeds than mammals eat them and destroy the seeds.
I’m going to start some peppers/tomatoes and cabbage inside today, go outside about June 1st. Missus said not so many hot peppers this year but I’ll go with more Bells instead.
A shout out to the prez, gas is up 30 cents a gal today. $3.59 downtown Podunkville
Those are really cool!
It’s times like right now where I wish I were treuly salaried instead of merely overtime exempt.
I reached a significant completion point where my work is done and the processes are all in the hands of other people, there’s not enough time to start anything new, but I have to stay in the office since my workday’s not over.
Today I learned that the new job doesn’t require me to upload timecards… ever. Just another perk of the new job.
Huzzah!
Damn you!
Damn, that’s nice.
Thunderchicken!
Thanks
I got nuthin
Is that like a decoration, or is it a cover?
I’m afraid to ask.
Yeah you don’t exactly want to pick it up to find out.
If only there were some common object pictured with it for scale.
Then again, that might not help. 😳
Oh dear, it’s not that big… 😉
With a scale? I need to get out more…
I’m really hoping decoration.
Though I suppose it would be machine washable.
*hurk*
It’s a cozy.
^^ here
lol
That’s hilarious.
She letting her freak-flag fly or do you think she doesn’t know?
It’s… smiling at me.
That’s not sanitary…
At all….
Tide Extra Strength with the added power of baking soda will get that odor out.
The Buttplug of Happiness has black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’… until he
bitesfucks ya.The Secret Service takes care of the photog? They couldn’t handle a couple of Columbia’s hookers.
Hookers are distracting.
Photographer with a manbun? Not so distracting.