“You look terrible, Dianne,” Joe said. “Realy, truly terrible.”
Feinstein blinked her eyes rapidly at her aide. “She says you look like a dried turd hidden under a saddle.”
“You always did have a way with other people’s words, my dear,” Joe said affectionately.
“Why did you call this meeting?” Dianne blinked. “And at this horrible hour?”
“5:30 is the new 9am,” Joe said. “I’m sharp as a tack.” He slammed his hand down on his desk and drove a tack into his palm. “See?” he said, holding up his hand. “I can even bleed this early in the morning.”
“Why am I here?” Dianne blinked. She strained to lift her hand and scratch up under her pendulous left breast. There was the sound of parting Velcro.
“You-you-you,” Joe stuttered.
“You have to step down, baby,” Karine said. She was sitting on the edge of the Resolute desk, one shoe off, eyes barely open, a small bucket of coffee cooling beside her.
“I’m as capable as I’ve ever been!” Dianne blinked furiously.
“That’s the issue!” Karine said, giggling. She slipped off the desk and landed with a meaty thump on the floor.
“You have to resign or start coming to work,” Finnegan said from under the desk.
“Never!” Dianne blinked. “This is sexiest and transphobia and antisemitic and I’ll never leave, I’ll never leave!”
Karine finally slumped to the floor. As the crone raved, she watched the bag taped to the slack white flesh of her ankle fill with brown piss.
She strained to lift her hand and scratch up under her pendulous left breast. There was the sound of parting Velcro.
Gah?!
not again… please no…
i’m not strong enough…
Again with the Velcro. I’ve had to revert to actual shoelaces because of this.
Yeah, SugarFree has completely conditioned me to become nauseated at the sound of Velcro.
“she watched the bag taped to the slack white flesh of her ankle fill with brown piss.”
I thought this was worse.
Just in time for making nightmares.
What’s Finnegan doing under the desk?
Left to our imaginations
Didn’t you ever see Police Academy?
Her and Mrs Jean Pierre….
Got a thing…
Going on.
I like the slow decay of Karine through the series.
Dianne blinking reminds me of Captain Pike’s wheelchair.
Karine’s DUI was a real wake-up call. I’m thinking of doing her intervention as a Halloween Special.
[shivers down spine]
LOL
Oh, that should be fun. {shudders}
Double yes! Guilty!
Needs moar green alien chick.
Dianne blinking reminds me of Captain Pike’s wheelchair.
Oh, goody, now Captain Pike’s wheelchair will make me think of a bag filling with brown piss.
Damn you.
I like the slow decay of Karine through the series.
Same. And oddly, she becomes more likeable with each episode.
[slaps Fatty] Snap out of it!
*sticks fingers in ears*
LALALALALALALA WHAT I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
Karine finally slumped to the floor. As the crone raved, she watched the bag taped to the slack white flesh of her ankle fill with brown piss.
Nice close.
Talk about saving the worst for last.
Think I’ll have lunch a little later, if I even will have lunch. I’d better wait a little longer.
Thanks, SF, I never have to worry about you…
I’ve said it before, but it concerns me a little that I can eat lunch while reading these. Some kind of immunity, maybe?
Any more snow today?
Did you have a brown liquid in a clear glass? Make mine a Jack & Coke, in a urine collection bag please.
*smacks lips, slurps down ice tea, resumes eating lunch*
Snow is scheduled for tomorrow, freezing rain.
I was expecting Hunter in the shrubbery with a fishing pole, luring toddlers through the fence.
There’s always next week.
It’s every week. Sug only reports on the odd happenings in the oval office.
Odd? So what are the normal happenings? Nevermind I truly don’t want to know.
I was expecting Hunter in the lounge with a candlestick.
“Never!” Dianne blinked. “This is sexiest
I beg to differ.
Rule 34. Someone likes them some GGGILF.
GGGross.
What’s Finnegan doing under the desk?
She better not be humming “Hail to the Chief”.
Maybe the Star Wars Imperial March?
Ya know, if I’m ever President, I think I’m going to go with that instead of Hail to the Chief.
You can, just hack Dominion and change all the votes.
I guess I’ll just drop this here.
Is this true?
Oh yeah. And have those cool Imperial guards with the red robes.
How about this one?
What does it say about me that I look forward to Wednesdees because of Sugar Free?
What part of brain function is spelling anyway?
Apparently the part of the brain associated with looking forward to Sugar Free’s writings.
Wednesdees Nuts.
That’s the issue!
boom
This is sexiest and transphobia and antisemitic and I’ll never leave, I’ll never leave!”
Sexiest?
I see she has lost control of her words as well as her bladder.
What is she transitioning to, coffin ballast?
Hawt.
“You have to step down, baby,” Karine said. She was sitting on the edge of the Resolute desk, one shoe off, eyes barely open, a small bucket of coffee cooling beside her.
Karine was out partying with Hunter?
She’d have woken up in the trunk of the car if that was the case.
Now try fiction, SF, you’ve got this live journalism thing down quite well.
Speaking of fiction intersecting with reality. Words fail me here…
Ultra-rare CS:GO gun reportedly sells for over $400,000
This server is never shutting down, right?
GTFO
Easy money policies definitely doesn’t lead to stupid outcomes.
I wish I could get me some stupid moneys
This is for a gun in a video game, right? Virtual stuff? WTF?
Is that real money or video game money?
Some damn fool paid that in real money.
I understand almost nothing in that article.
Biden’s 17 GREATEST Achievements So Far!
I will be in Wichita next week from Tuesday to Friday.
Let me know if anyone wants to meet up.
Seek out Poblanos if you need a 3 lb. burrito. I still have dreams…
Hog Wild BBQ is also good.
hmm… 3lb burrito…
thanks for the suggestions.
which part of Wichita ? Traffic can be a bitch
Are you a lineman for the county?
I used to take work trips to Wichita fairly regularly in the early 2010’s.
I had to hit Red Beans Bayou Grill for some Cajun food at least once per trip (yeah, I know you sutheners are laughing at me, it’s a chain!. Well, I live in North Dakota. We don’t get Cajun too often around here)
The best steak I’ve had in a chain restaurant was at Ted’s Montana Grill in Wichita. It was a buffalo ribeye, and it was superb. Trigger Warning: ‘Ted’ is crackpot and conspiracy theorist Ted Turner
Thanks to Tundra for posting that archive of the NYT story. I am now following the case, because the lawyer involved is the one who dropped off his card at the gun club in case anyone needed a defense lawyer. We’ll see how he does.
Interesting that he picked this guy before he surrendered to police. One article I read, not sure if this one, suggested he already had representation before he surrendered.
Quick Google or was he so paranoid and armed that he this particular guy on speed dial.
He might have a copy of the same card I do.
Egyptians complain over Netflix depiction of Cleopatra as black
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-65322821
A top archaeologist insisted Cleopatra was “light-skinned, not black”.
But the producer said “her heritage is highly debated” and the actress playing her told critics: “If you don’t like the casting, don’t watch the show.”
highly debated? since when?
The Ptolemys were Greek, and infamous for having a family tree that did not branch.
None of the Cleopatras were black.
There are contemporary depictions of her, too. She was white. There shouldn’t be any controversy at all, but, well, Clown World.
“I wasn’t planning on it, and especially not now.”
Brits are so weak.
Anne was the mother of Elizabeth I, a famously ginger monarch, so she was a person of pallor herself.
You’re only allowed to complain when it’s in the other direction.
Actors are forbidden from portraying characters outside their ethnic groups… except actors of African or Hispanic* descent. They’re the Type O-negative of the acting world.
*::cough cough:: Hamilton ::cough cough::
Or the Latinx chick that played a mossad agent on ncis for 20 years or so.
“And the role of Harriett Tubman will be played by Christine Hendricks…”
Now DARE that producer deny the lived experience of a Proud Indigenous Egyptian!
The Copts are generally regarded as the most indigenous of Egyptians, with the Coptic language being a direct descendant of ancient Egyptian and proving to be an invaluable aid in the decipherment of the older tongues.
What surprised me in recent years due to all the propaganda is just how pale the Copts are.
Delish.
Those Egyptians better get Jada’s name out of their mouth or Will’s gonna have to slap another bitch.
You don’t get to see or hear stories about Black queens because where they existed, the cultures didn’t regard their stories as important enough to remember. And there were very few, if any black queens regnant.
Missy Markle has a sad.
All I’ve got.
“Kullcherrull appropreeayshun!!!”
I’ve seen enough Critical Drinker to know the show is probably garbage, and if it bombs they will blame it on racism.
“don’t watch the show”
I guess she got paid up front and doesn’t have any participation in revenue from the show.
Joe is obviously a Yuki Saito fan.
https://youtu.be/enteVV1TgqU
I will do anything you say.
She is a keeper.
That accent is a little thicc.
She talked?
She walks; she talks; she comes complete.
A top archaeologist insisted Cleopatra was “light-skinned, not black”.
I saw the movie with Elizabeth Taylor.
That’s good enough for me
Yes.
Wowza.
Taylor was the first actor to get $1m for a role. That role was Cleopatra.
Well, she was Greek, so…
So, it was all Shakespeare to her?
Not Claudette Colbert?
I like my Cleos with some fighting weight on them.
Pre-code. Nice.
Thanks! I was wondering when Feinstein would rear her misshapen head. I was not disappointed.
https://www.phillyburbs.com/story/news/crime/2023/04/19/lansdale-man-accused-of-shooting-killing-exs-boyfriend-in-walnut-arms-apartment-montgomery-county-pa/70130532007/
MInutes away from my work.
This was totally preventable. Poor dude got killified over a girl.
Lansdale had a bad rep even back when my grandparents were growing up in Perkasie.
“Moore struck her multiple times, and threatened her and whomever she was currently dating, according to court documents. She went to sleep, and Moore stayed until the next morning“
He beat her up, threatened her, and . . . She dozes off while he hangs out?
Yes. Very dysfunctional.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/04/18/kitchen-knives-seized-police-crackdown-dangerous-weapons/
Kitchen knives.
🙄
Them Brits. They are a laugh riot. Next they’ll have to crack down on hammers, then large rocks and pointed sticks. All they get are safety scissors and edible crayons for the empire that once ran the world.
bananas?
“Police will get powers to seize kitchen knives from homes if they suspect they will be used in crimes”
Chief Constable Thomas Cruise reporting for duty.
$8.99 P mags at PSA.
Thanks. Guess a few more couldn’t hurt.
“You always did have a way with other people’s words, my dear,” Joe said affectionately.
So did Joe.
Now climate change causes turbulence I guess.
Climate change turned me into a newt. (I got better…)
Obviously an experienced skater.
Missed slightly their exit but thought they would still make it…
+1 Gleaming the Cube
Nice railslide.
50 years ago today…….Devo played their first show.
This is not that show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDS3lfsa8gE
Verge writer mugged by reality.
Social media is doomed to die
Writer is amazed to discover that companies need to achieve profitability at some point and that VCs want to cash out.
And then, the other day, I received a push notification from the app telling me to wish my nemesis a happy birthday.
“my nemesis”?! Who talks like that?
Wish him an Unhappy Birthday?
It won’t die. Musk has money.