“I’m running for President!” Joe said, triumph rattling like phlegm in his chest.
“We know, Grandpa,” Finnegan said, patting his arm.
“I’ll have to find someone to run with,” Joe said. “A good Vice President is a real asset to a campaign.”
“You have a Vice President, Grandpa,” Finnegan said.
“I do? That doesn’t sound right,” Joe said.
“I’m your Vice President,” Kamala said, stepping from behind the American flag in the Oval Office.
“Negro!” Joe said, pointing, imagining his finger a fire hose.
“You’re not getting rid of me, you White Devil!” Kamala screamed.
“I was a good Vice President. I helped Barry get elected twice,” Joe said. “We have to find someone like me for me.”
“You are not kicking me off this ticket!” Kamala hollered. “I’m the first Asian Vice President! And the first Black Vice President! And first Female Vice President! I’m the most accomplished woman alive!”
“Maybe a foxy Black chick?” Joe mused to Finnegan as Kamala stamped her feet.
“Daddy!” Hunter trilled as he came out of the Presidential Shitter and Health Center.
“My beautiful son!” Joe said back, holding out his arms.
“We’re not through here!” Kamala said to Finnegan. “I want him to remember that I’m his Vice President.”
“We all want a lot of things,” Finnegan said to her in a voice drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife.
“He said he was only running for a single term,” Kamala said. “2024 was for me. I was going to be the first Femblasian President.”
Finnegan shrugged and turned to watch in disgust as her father climbed into her grandfather’s lap.
“You’re gettin’ to be a big boy,” Joe gasped as Hunter settled on him.
“Do you just live here now?” Finnegan asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do. Daddy invited me,” Hunter told his daughter smugly. “I’ve been having some legal trouble and he’s helping me out.”
“Hiding from some slut you knocked up?” Kamala asked archly.
“Stripper slut, thank you,” Hunter said. “Top shelf dancing skank. That baby isn’t mine anyway. I never fucked her. I had way too much coke that night to get it up.”
Finnegan slapped her hands over her ears and sat down on the floor. Her happy place was a city in the clouds she had built brick-by-brick over long years of practiced disassociation.
“My boy needs me,” Joe said, kissing his son on the mouth and beard scruff. “He needs me.”
“No process servers in The White House, Kammie,” Hunter said. “I told the Secret Service to shoot to kill.”
“I love you, Beau,” Joe said, running a hand over Hunter’s bare chest.
Kamala made several exaggerated retching noises and fled.
“a voice drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife.” That’s gotta hurt.
I lol’d
Never go in dry.
What about his sister?
Say what you will about Ben Shapiro, but I doubt he screws his sister.
If you like a Ben lookalike with big tits, she’s your Huckleberry.
I find Brett Cooper confusing because she’s cute but also could be Ben’s twin sister.
“We all want a lot of things,” Finnegan said to her in a voice drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife.
Perfection
Agreed.
Yup.
It made me thirsty.
long years of practiced disassociation
Well, someone did wonder about this last week, now we have the answer.
That was my favorite line.
“We all want a lot of things,” Finnegan said to her in a voice drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife.
Nice.
“Hiding from some slut you knocked up?” Kamala asked archly.
Sounds like she’s had some personal experience with situations like this.
“Stripper slut, thank you,” Hunter said. “Top shelf dancing skank. That baby isn’t mine anyway. I never fucked her. I had way too much coke that night to get it up.”
How convenient.
Kamala made several exaggerated retching noises and fled.
Wow! Something that squiked her.
“We all want a lot of things,” Finnegan said to her in a voice drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife.
Like freedom and excitement and self-ownership, eh Finn? Come. Come to the Dark Side. Libertarians have more fun.
Finnegan slapped her hands over her ears and sat down on the floor. Her happy place was a city in the clouds she had built brick-by-brick over long years of practiced disassociation.
*outright prolonged laughter*
I’m the most accomplished woman alive!
On your knees.
Once again SF has done his homework. All the supporting facts are true. Yet today I’m reading this and asking, How the hell did we get to this point?
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”
Her happy place was a city in the clouds she had built brick-by-brick over long years of practiced disassociation.
Her Memory Palace
Where she dismembers and eats her relatives.
Presidential Shitter and Health Center.
Is there a staff on those premises?
“No process servers in The White House, Kammie,” Hunter said. “I told the Secret Service to shoot to kill.”
That’s what it all comes down to. Imagine if a member of another American political family had done that, and how the press would be all over them.
Depends on the family.
Trump, Bush: Oh yeah, the press would be all over that.
Clinton, Kennedy: Nothing to see here. Move along.
Imagine Hillary being grilled by Congress- ” Senator, at the time the Secret Service took the measures they thought, at the time, an appropriate and measured response to that threat.”
“Everyone on my protective detail knows the rules. Kill or be killed. Open your mouth and be killed. Piss me off and be killed.”
You did it again. Made it nearly impossible to pick the best line.
“Negro!” Joe said, pointing, imagining his finger a fire hose.
Nearly.
Bull Connor smiles.
Needs to make a spray sound whenever he sees her. And he does own a German Shepherd who likes to bite people.
They got rid of the dog. I believe he went to the proverbial farm in the country.
Yow!
The only thing missing for reality would be more Kamala kackling mid-sentence when she’s talking about her, um, achievements.
*M*A*S*H laugh track*
“I never fucked her. I had way too much coke that night to get it up.”
Will confirm.
The stripper is way too thin for you.
This is wild.
The Swedish warship Vasa. It sank in 1628 less than a mile into its maiden voyage and was recovered from the sea floor after 333 years almost completely intact.
You’ll never guess why she sank.
If you are ever in that area, i would encourage you to visit the museum they have for the ship. It is an amazing ship, and the reconstruction is also fascinating.
I still have 2 t shirts from the place.
https://www.vasamuseet.se/en
Thanks! That looks incredible!
That was a great visit.
Indeed. Most definitely the must-see if you’re in Stockholm.
Someone opened the screen door?
Sweden, not Poland.
Oh, so they couldn’t find the allen key and didn’t know what the leftover parts were for?
She was engineered by women?
Royal vanity?
More like royal impatience.
I already know. I mean, “Why the Vasa sank” was part of pretty much every documentary about the vessel. Top-heavy with gunports too low for its draft is a bad combination.
I haven’t seen the ship in person though, Sweden is a bit out of my way.
If you are ever in the market for a new car, Volvo has an oversees delivery that saves you 5-8% off MSRP. They fly you out, give a factory tour. take you to your hotel, let you drive in Sweden and Europe.
When done, you bring car back, they put it on a boat, ship it here and you pick up at the local dealership.
I’ve done it three times in my life. I recommend it.
Interesting.
I used to work for Volvo (and drove them for years). I always meant to do that, but never did.
When was the last time you went?
2014, went with my FIL.
We did the gota cannel while we were there, he has family there and met them for the first time.
Nice. With all their electric fuckery I probably missed my chance.
Now that it is actually Geely, do they still do this?
Also, BMW has a similar program.
Looks like they do. Not sure what the discount looks like anymore, though.
Not a commercial, but they do.
https://www.volvocars.com/us/l/osd-tourist/
Saab used to have a program where you buy your car at an American dealership. Then you can meet your car at the factory, drive it around Europe for a while, drop it off at a port, and it gets delivered to the American dealership.
My wife and I were going to do that with our next car purchase, then GM killed the whole company.
BMW did something similar.
My parents did that. I’d love to have that old 850 sedan back…
I already know. I mean, “Why the Vasa sank” was part of pretty much every documentary about the vessel.
Yep.
Wow. Stupid decisions by elites doomed that ship. What desiccated corpse of hubris will be displayed in the future for the 2020s?
Of those most likely to be dug up… the landfills full of fiberglass windmill blades.
Good call. An entire museum full.
A Littoral Combat Ship, the USS Dylan Mulvaney.
Pete, you dishonest cunte.
Secy. @PeteButtigieg tells the Daily Show: House Republicans’ bill restricting transgender participation in women’s sports is “really getting in the way of our ability to” repair bridges & railroads.
“We are literally building bridges, and they are literally banning books.”
You are literally not even qualified to feed my cats, let alone be Transportation Sec.
Trans rights are human infrastructure.
*applause*
Why Fox Fired Tucker: BlackRock, Replacement Theory, and the ADL
Good article.
👆👆👆
You’ll never guess why she sank.
They forgot to put the drain plug in?
No, that was my hunting buddy, Larry.
Ever had to drag a flooded jon boat out of the Mississippi in November?
Ever been in a Turkish prison?
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Forgotten drain plugs account for a large number of those lost him collection accidents.
LOL!
For the honest Glibfitters.
This is why I only press from the floor within my lift cage. There are bars high enough on either side that it can’t come down on me and the uprights prevent the sort of twisting that would let it get past those bars. If all that fails, there’s the floor to slow it down and prevent a lethal level of compaction.
I’ve spotted for people, and had people spotting for me. I haven’t been either person in that meme.
We are truly blessed here.
I coulda misspelled cursed.
What’s SF gonna do when the SS finds his hidden recording devices?
Be disappeared and memory holed.
Jokes on them…we will have his brain in a jar all wired by then!
Lol.
Why not just require that they all fly and change into giant robots on command?
That will be when Gen Z is in charge.
Well, they can install windmills on the aircraft to generate the electricity to drive propellers. No combustion, no jet engines.
They can use the windmill propellers to power the plane, and kill two birds with one stone.
Kill one pilot, anyway.
Clown. World.
volatility of globally traded oil…war in Ukraine
Events in eastern Europe do not affect US domestic oil production.
And it’s such a fucking wonder why China doesn’t take us seriously…
I imagine that China and Russian have their own version of buzzword bingo going on right now. But their checking off boxes of horeshit ideas coming out of the white house.
Maybe as the battery fires incinerate the crews, the enemy will suffer some damage too.
Biden Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm says she supports requiring the U.S. military to adopt an ALL-electric vehicle fleet by 2030
I can’t wait for the plug-in version of the Osprey.
boom
“I love you, Beau,” Joe said, running a hand over Hunter’s bare chest.”
That line came at the end and I had to re-read the whole thing so I could properly picture it with Hunter wearing his famous jock-strap-only get up. For some reason I had him in a tasteful blazer on the first read. Obviously that doesn’t comport with reality.
A tasteful blazer over jockstrap with no shirt. And high-top Chuckie Ts.
You may or may not have heard that the NFL Draft is in Kansas City this year. It’s the Big Thing right now. I wasn’t interested in going until I saw Motley Crue on the act list and now I’m bummed because heaven help me, I hate hordes of people, wading through them, having to pee, aching feet. OMG.
That said, I’m going to see Janet Jackson next week.
I must be old, to be unwilling to suffer to see Motley Crue for free.
Someone here is probably into this.
They/them
Risky click of the day
Live dangerously.
Not I, naturally hairy is as far as I go.
Asking the important questions.
STEVE HAVE AN ANSWER.
Honestly, that would be a fascinating bit of data. That would conclusively prove that identical nerve signals along identical pathways(?) would be interpreted as different by the brain.
* SF carefully clips article with scissors, places in “Ideas” file folder *
We’re conjoined twins and share a vagina — but only one of us has a boyfriend
Well, dating them both would just be weird.
But only one has a voyeurism kink.
That would actually work out pretty well.
“Do you mind if I watch?”
But isn’t it impossible to bang your girlfriend without cheating on her with her sister?
New movie idea . . . . Conjoined twins . . . . and one has multiple personality disorder . . . . the other never knows for sure who she’s talking to.
The perfect replacement for Kamala on Biden’s ’24 ticket!
Twice the hair to sniff!!!
Someone posted their phone number in the morning links. I was tempted to send an assortment of dick pics. Maybe next time.
On Tucker Carlson – previous hosts who have left Fox have gone rather quietly. They really didn’t have their own audiences, and the geriatrics at Fox weren’t willing to follow them anywhere. Calrson seems like he may be an exception.
Almost anyone could be Carlson if they had his POV (and talent, it’s not like he has no talent). Fox is hammering down the nails.
I think Carlson has built his own brand beyond generic Fox News conservative and it resonates with the MAGA crowd. He’s being forced out for his political views being too extreme for Fox, but they aren’t too extreme for his audience.
You never would have seen O’Reilly segments being shared at a place like this, even. But Carlson regular makes the rounds among libertarians as well as other bastions of far right villainy.
There is a video on twitter where he talks about how he got played by the beltway (war on terror)
Most self reflection i have ever seen by any media personality.
“I was tempted to send an assortment of dick pics.”
Why am I not surprised you collect dick pics. Do people just send them to you, or do you have to ask?
I have pictures of my dick in every conceivable position and lighting you could think of. I even have some with costumes.
Wee little costumes.
It’s the effort he puts into it….he goes the extra mile – adds googly eyes and everything.
I don’t mind receiving dick pics. Just saying…
They/them
Bravo.
““I’m running for President!” Joe said, triumph rattling like phlegm in his chest.”
Right out of the gate, SF, and it went downhill from there.
An Ed Sullivan kind of Big Show. Thanks but I had finished eating, bring it on, I’m good.
Have a heaping helping of self-serving bullshit
More than three years into this pandemic, the federal government never created an official commission to investigate, something regularly done after national emergencies. Efforts to create it stalled in Congress.
The nonpartisan Covid Crisis Group took matters into its own hands. On Tuesday, it released its investigative report, titled “Lessons from the Covid War: An Investigative Report.”
——-
The key to this crisis and the key to what went wrong was we weren’t really ready to meet an emergency. We had the best science. We were willing to spend the most money. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was in knowing what to do and being ready to do it. I think the reason we wrote the report was so that people would actually have a better idea of what you really need to do in an emergency like this. And I think anyone reading this report will just say to themselves, “Oh, I think I understand this now. I think I understand why things went so wrong in all these different ways.” And also, they’ll notice a lot of things that went right, a lot of improvisations that began to work. And then we want to hold those lessons and not lose them.
——-
I mean, this is really a crisis of competence. It’s not a crisis of science. It’s not a crisis of unwillingness to spend money. It’s not a crisis in the sense that, “Gosh, no one had ever heard of a pandemic danger.” There were great movies and books about it, so people knew about the danger. They had science. They were willing to spend money. The failure was in knowing what to do and how to do it and then getting ready to do it.
It’s the people’s fault. They really let us down.
Understatement of the day.
It seems to me that you fix a ‘crisis of competence’ by firing incompetent people and hiring competent ones.
This may be white supremacy…
Well, look who has never worked for the gov’t.
Self important people were not taken importantly. That’s what is most important – that everyone know how to properly respect important people.
And this book really is kind of a revelation about, how do we restore a reputation for competence and problem solving?
Too late. You have no credibility. You showed what a bunch of incompetent buffoons you really are.
WE HAVE CREDENTIALS! YOU CAN’T JUDGE OUR COMPETENCE OR CREDIBILITY!!!
Perhaps try being competent and solving problems?
Nah. We’ll just lie some more, and shut down dissent.
Ouch.
Poor Sunset.
Has anyone mentioned to Joe that the dark sunglasses make him look like an F-tier anime villain?
It makes him look like a drug addict from the 60s
Precinct Captain on CHIPS, he’s about to chew out Erik Estrada.
The aviators were the cool guy glasses 50 years ago. Around the time Joe’s brain stopped working.
https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1024/rpgafh7klsc7mkx1okjd.jpg
I’m thinking more like this. The similarities are too numerous to name.
I can’t recall any other politician regularly wearing sunglasses while giving speeches and talking to the media.
But it’s cool and hip and connects him with younger voters! /Actually read this
His pupils are so dilated from the stuff they hop him up with that he needs sunglasses, just like us peons when we have an eye exam.
The corded earpiece is perfect.
For get what I said about unscripted. I just watched in a full screen view and see the dummy cards and ear piece with the cord.
He comes off well if this was a impromptu question and unscripted answer. You have to ignore all of the data he quotes and the validity of his arguments. Just referring to his abilities in this speech to stay on topic and maintain a relatively cohesive though.
The glasses are likely obscuring whatever the super brain performance pills are doing to his pupils.
Google glass hiding under the shades? Could be.
I thought so too, but don’t you think that Joe’s medical support team would have some super pupil performance pills they could use? Seriously, the Joe looks like the bad guy from Resident Evil: Retribution.
What Joe thinks he looks like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RVJyNpfDk
What he actually looks like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnv5GsQGS7E
I think it’s fun the Secret Service let him cosplay as one of them.
As usual CNN buries the lede
Norfolk Southern says the toxic train derailment cost it $387 million
Shit, that’s like1/2 a Dominion.
One last bit from that plague article:
It’s like an emergency doctor who has an emergency in front of them on the gurney and is given a textbook and a bunch of money. But that doesn’t tell them, “Yeah, but I need to punch a hole in this person’s chest to relieve the pressure on their heart. And how do I do that and have the training and confidence to do that in a crisis?”
Actually, it’s like having a room full of experienced doctors and nurses offering the benefit of their collective knowledge and experience, and…
ignoring them.
Accusing them of being a bunch of ignorant old fogeys who don’t understand modern simulation-based medicine.
It’s like having a bunch of doctors offering to cut off the dick of a heart attack patient instead of fixing xer heart.
And telling anyone who may have offered some useful advise to shut-up, because the official science says so!
A whole lot of doctors with experience and knowledge were willing to throw that aside to listen to the new science coming from the likes of Fauci. A lack of experience and knowledge had absolutely nothing to do with the response to covid. It wasn’t even a competence issue.
It was a politics issue. Everything in the US is politicized now, and until that’s reversed they will never regain credibility. Also, good luck with that. We can’t even agree that pedophilia is bad anymore because one party decided to cater to people who think it’s ok.
“All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state”
That’s how it must be now. You know… to prevent fascism.
Thought crime.
Rep. Vang has a provision in the Judiciary Bill that creates a government database of “hate incidents” (not crimes, which are already tracked).
Rep. Vang says “hate incidents” could include:
– Writing an article saying COVID came from China
– Wearing a “I ♥️ JK Rowling” shirt
Too local.
robc,
On an unrelated matter, I seem to have incurred your ire with a comment I made about hopped-up ales. My complaint was about brewers, not about your excellent article, which I very much enjoyed.
Too late. The contract has already been put on the street.
I’ve updated my will and put my trust in Loki. the trickster. We’ll see what happens.
Minne is on a roll:
https://twitter.com/DissidentSoaps/status/1651038523053715456?s=20
Minnesota House Bill HF 1655 will eliminate the exclusion of pedophiles from the protected class of “sexual orientation.”
Globo-pedo is really making a move.
A couple of proggies jumped the gun on the pedo thing a years ago. They’ve received more pushback to the trannie narrative than they thought they would. One step at a time.
Ought to make for some interesting bring your kid to work days. Also, WT actual F?
The blowback on all of this is going to be impressive.
They’re getting brave enough to put their names to things now.
https://www.revisor.mn.gov/bills/bill.php?b=house&f=HF1655&ssn=0&y=2023
The authors
12 out of 17 of the authors are women.
Just sayin’
I keep hearing “just you wait for the blowback”.
I’m thinking, there won’t be any blowback that matters. What are the normies waiting for? The whole tranny thing was out in the open before the last election and . . . fizzle.
As if voting would make a difference in the culture war. The ratchet keeps turning, the salami keeps getting sliced, and . . . crickets. We are will into government-supported grooming of children and sexual mutilation. If that doesn’t trigger a blowback, what will?
People aren’t willing to go to jail for other people’s kid, but they will for their own.
It will be blowback on a personal scale, IMO.
So one angry dad that shoots up a building because the state kidnaps his kid and cuts their duck off?
Some blowback.
Asians make the best commies, for whatever that is worth. It just seems to come naturally to them.
South Americans are the best at enacting it in the first place, just the worst at maintaining it.
The Russians managed commie up for over 70 years. I think that’s still the record, but China is about to overtake them. I still maintain that despite the name, China is fascist, not socialist. There is “private ownership” until the state decides there isn’t.
Taking a page from Britain’s playbook I see.
As I thought when this happened. This wasn’t your typical employment claim.
…Jeff Shell’s Sudden, No Payout Exit From NBCU
Something something woman scorned.
Clicked too soon. In the current climate, I wonder if they would have fired him if it turned out he was fucking her 14 year old daughter? Banging women you work with is still bad, but banging kids seems to be the new hotness, after all.
“Am I being detained?” https://imgur.com/a/iTZEX35
It’s for your own good.
KITTEH!
Judging by Pornub, this is very much a thing gen Z is into.