Saturday Morning Hot Dog Links

by | Apr 22, 2023 | Daily Links | 115 comments

Today is Hot Dog Day in our little village, easily the biggest holiday of the year. The pre-gaming started loudly last night and by the official 1:00 PM start, I expect that there will already be vomit lining the streets. Every ambulance and SWAT vehicle in the county is parked here in anticipation. Our little coffeeshop laid in a couple of carboys of THC-laced lemonade which we’re breaking down into 10 oz. bottles. WebDom’s review: “Me and (l0B0t) and Ginger each had a sip from the bottle. I can no longer feel my tongue. Ginger says she feels like soup.” Latest NPR Lady is heading down here to try it. It’s going to be a fun day.

Birthdays abound today, and they include the godfather of lounge music; one of the first people to ever critique our former home; the godfather of the modern Democratic Party; a guy you wouldn’t trust to run a shoe store; one of my deep inspirations; a perfect example of the wages of government incompetence;  one of my scientific heroes who literally wrote the book; the John Mayall of jazz; a guarantee of horrifically lowest common denominator entertainment; the woman who symbolized everybody’s mom; a guy whose successful pop career obscured the fact that he was a fucking amazing musician; a guy who uttered one of the most famous lines in American cinema; the Orson Welles of trash cinema and a true American hero; and an acquaintance of mine who actually had some interesting and useful things to say.

Shall we Link? Yes, let’s shall.

 

I missed the part of the Constitution which makes any of this a delegated power of the Federal government. But that Constitution thing, it’s like 100 years old and written by slaveholders.

 

Tard fight.

 

Amazing how fast this is getting buried. But who is manning the shovel? Oh, of course.

 

“Sudden health deterioration while in police custody.” We may have hit Peak Euphemism.

 

For those of us who think that scientific publishing is a racket… well… it’s a racket.

 

Plainer Language Version: When we “recalibrated” our dataset, the hockeystick went away.

 

The Old Man loves Cajun music. The real thing, not the smoothed out commercial versions. You just can’t be sad listening to it.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

115 Comments

  1. Spartacus

    Hellooo, anybody home?
    Everyone must be at hot dog day.

  2. Spartacus

    I must say, having now tried Firsting, I think it’s very overrated.

    • Sean

      You must not be doing it right. You weren’t wearing pants, were you?

      • Spartacus

        Of course not. I’ve burned all my clothing for Earth Day, and used the heat to generate enough electricity to recharge one AA battery.

      • R.J.

        Now that’s a good point for a first.

      • juris imprudent

        Probably had the wrong gloves on too.

  3. Sean

    Wait, we’re not celebrating Earth day? Why do you hate the planet? 🌎

    • Old Man With Candy

      Take a look at my Twitter.

      • Sean

        Imma need a link pls.

      • Old Man With Candy
      • Gender Traitor

        What do you have to do to get four coffins next to your Twitter handle? 😳

      • Old Man With Candy

        Die four times from the Coof.

      • Animal

        STEVE SMITH FIND AMUSING WHAT HOOMINS PUT ON TWITTER HANDLE OF PEOPLE RAPED FOUR TIMES BY STEVE SMITH.

    • Rat on a train

      It wants to kill me.

  4. nw

    From the article, the folks who resigned are planning to start a new
    journal: “The APC for the journal hasn’t been set yet, says Smith, but they
    aim to make it at most half of NeuroImage’s $3,450 fee.”

    Seems like they don’t object to the fee so much as they object to who’s collecting it.

    • Shpip

      The editors plan to start a new journal hosted by the non-profit publisher MIT Press.

      And the announcement coincides with the annual American Academy of Neurology’s national convention, which just happens to be in Boston this weekend. It’s purely coincidental that MIT is just up the road.

      /end conspiracy theory

  5. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    • Shirley Knott

      Thanks! That was actually pretty interesting.

    • Rat on a train

      I assume there aren’t many in my area as I haven’t seen a synagogue or Jewish deli nearby.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oh, are you in 918?

      • Rat on a train

        No. I’m in Virginia. I found there is one synagogue in the area on the other side of the river about 15 miles away.

  6. Not Adahn

    First Kayaderosseras match of the season kick off in an hour-and-a-half.

    OM, you need to get a handgun so you and Spud can come down for the two day match in July.

  7. Ted S.

    a guy you wouldn’t trust to run a shoe store;

    Happy birthday Ed O’Neill!

  8. Ted S.

    the woman who symbolized everybody’s mom;

    Happy birthday Joan Crawford!

    • Not Adahn

      This explains so much.

  9. Not Adahn

    I am seeing pictures of people putting ketchup on their hot dogs. And also this:

    Party properly in Alfred NY this weekend
    Skip the hot dogs and head to the Rosebush! Alfred NY will celebrate an annual spring festival this Saturday April 22 and the crew at the Rosebush is ready. The Main Street bistro-style, bar and restaurant has a full bar and great drink specials planned for the big day.

    There is something about the mindset of someone saying that the proper way to celebrate Hot Dog Day is to skip the hot dogs that I think speaks volumes.

    • Shpip

      Something about Hot Dog Day that brings out the wurst in people.

      Someone should sit down with the Rosebush people and have a frank discussion with them.

      • Spartacus

        Agreed. They need to ketchup with the times.

      • Gender Traitor

        You two are the wurst brats I’ve ever mett. If Swissy shows up, you’ll both be mustard out.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        👏 🐶 🌭

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        If he were here, I’m sure he’d give you the three* best applause gifs.

        *Are there any more than those three?

      • Gender Traitor

        I would relish that.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        👏👏👏👏

    • rhywun

      the proper way to celebrate Hot Dog Day is to skip the hot dogs

      I couldn’t agree more. Hot dogs are disgusting.

      • Shirley Knott

        Don’t knock the wurst.

      • Spartacus

        Hot dogs are great when smothered in Branston Pickle and diced jalapenos.

      • Nephilium

        Try the Cleveland tradition of the Polish Boy (or the Polish Girl which replaces the fries with pulled pork).

      • rhywun

        I like kielbasa. All kinds of sausage, in fact.

        But there is just something uniquely awful about Frankfurters/Wieners (there’s some confusion over where the variety originated).

      • Nephilium

        I prefer kielbasa, brats, and most other sausages over the generic hot dogs, but we’ve got some good places, and there’s something just right about eating a dollar hot dog at a baseball game.

      • rhywun

        Other than hot dogs, we were treated mainly to Italian sausage growing up – mmm mmm good.

      • DEG

        All kinds of sausage, in fact.

        What you did there… it was seen.

  10. Ted S.

    a guy who uttered one of the most famous lines in American cinema;

    Happy birthday Roy Scheider!

    • juris imprudent

      I was trying to think which line was most memorable:

      Where does he get all those wonderful toys?
      Heeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!
      I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.
      I want you to hold it between your knees.

      • Shirley Knott

        Are you feeling lucky punk?

      • Sean

        No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

      • Gender Traitor

        Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.

      • Grosspatzer

        You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Clause.

      • Old Man With Candy

        First time?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Bring me a four-year-old child?

      • Grumbletarian

        Come with me if you want to live.
        We’re going to need a bigger boat.
        Yippee ki-yay, mother fucker!

      • Animal

        You fucked up. You trusted us!

      • juris imprudent

        I was confining myself to Jack’s better known lines.

      • Gender Traitor

        You can’t handle the truth!

  11. Not Adahn

    I’m assuming the wiener dog races are inclusive and accepts contestants based on their self-identification?

    • Spartacus

      I have an orange tabby who self-identifies as a yellow lab pretending to be a wiener dog. Will that do?

      • Fourscore

        Yes

    • Nephilium

      We save our wiener dog races for a more somber time of year… Oktoberfest.

  12. Scruffyy Nerfherder

    “ This data set uses a backward-merging approach to intercalibrate 16 satellite-based microwave sounding records.”

    Oooooo… Scruffyy bait

    “ Intersatellite biases from several error sources were removed or minimized, including instrument degradation, changes in satellite local observation time, and spectral band differences between different generations of microwave sounders, etc”

    In other words, our previous data analysis was dog shit because this is what we should have done to begin with given the standard uncertainties in these measurements which typically far exceed the claimed climate temperature drift.

    • juris imprudent

      Yeah, it’s like the interpolation they use to fill in empty spaces – hmm, what are the two nearest and hottest readings?

    • DEG

      Both you and Toxteth beat me.

      There are some good ones in there.

  13. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates.

    Scientific publishing is a racket? Say it ain’t so!

    The college textbook division is a wonderful grift. My (mandatory) physics textbook went for about $40 in 1972. The lecture for Physics 101 consisted of the author reading from his tome to the 400 or so freshmen assembled in the lecture hall; I think there were two sections that year. Nice piece of change.

    But I see things are looking up.

    “The decision to resign came about after many discussions among the editors, says Stephen Smith, a neuroscientist at the University of Oxford, UK, and editor-in-chief of one of the journals, NeuroImage.”

    Our boy does get around, doesn’t he?

  14. PudPaisley

    Hey, I know that bass player in the video. He used to be in the Hamilton Loomis Band out of Houston, which is one of my favorite blues bands.

    I knew him and the drummer were from “New Orleans”, but didn’t know he also played Cajun music. They used to hang out with me and my buddy before shows, at set break, and after shows when they were in the area to smoke the weed.

    They were playing at the local blues bar the night of the NFC Championship game between the Saints and Vikings. The band was starting late because everyone in the bar was watching the overtime of the game, and it was about 1/2 Vikings fans. Right after the Saints won, the band started up with The Saints Come Marching In. Before the song was over, practically every Viking fan had stomped out even after paying a $15 cover. It was hilarious.

  15. Raven Nation

    Related to Glenn Campbell…I finally got around to watching The Wrecking Crew. Can recommend.

  16. Brawndo

    The abortion pill article is paywalled. What did the SC rule?

    • R C Dean

      The stay of the lower court ruling was upheld – you can still get mifepristone for abortions.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh good, our dyke governor can still hand out the candy she bought with taxpayer dollars. Kill the products of heterosexual sex.

    • DrOtto

      Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others.

      • Rat on a train

        Don’t blame me. I voted for SMOD.

  17. DrOtto

    Happy birthday Adam Sandler? *looks at link* Oh well, I got the initials correct anyways.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    It wasn’t Jack Nicholson who said, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      No! It was “Where we’re going, we won’t need roads.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Libertopia?

  19. KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

    Tribbles..

    • Rat on a train

      Having trouble with them?

      • KK the Porcine Pearl-Eater

        No, but OMWC is

    • Old Man With Candy

      Quadrotriticale.

      • Tres Cool

        Please tell me you had to look up the spelling on that, and not from memory.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Memory, sorry.

  20. Grummun

    I wouldn’t trust Nature‘s reporting if it told me that poop comes from assholes.

    • Rat on a train

      “Trust but verify.”

      • juris imprudent

        You know, I will trust you on that one.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Things you won’t see on American televisions

    “You are a real man. Be one,” a message on the screen tells viewers, before cutting to a graphic from the ministry that calls for men to sign up as contract soldiers with a promised monthly salary starting at 204,000 rubles (nearly $2,500) — a significant sum for most Russian families and more than triple the average salary, according to official statistics from 2021.

    Those crazy Russians. The Army doesn’t need “real men”. They need sensitive caring individuals who seek to find their inner beauty.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Its appeal for “real men” to join the fight plays into the stereotype of masculinity that has been venerated under Putin — who has admitted he himself once drove a taxi to earn extra money after the collapse of the Soviet Union. For more than two decades, the Kremlin has been cultivating the “macho” image of the Russian leader, who has been often photographed bare-chested, swimming in wild rivers and riding horses while on his summer vacations in Siberia.

    That narrative has been amplified and accelerated since the invasion, with many of the hawkish war supporters heralding him as a “real man” for invading his neighbor in the face of the perceived Western threat.

    It’s no wonder that in its latest recruitment campaign, the Kremlin is trying to tap into that kind of “emotional motivation” and appeal to the “inner macho” in Russian men, said Andrei Kolesnikov, an analyst at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace.

    The use of the narrative dating from the Soviet era sounds “pretentious and noble, while hiding the necrophilic essence of using people as cannon fodder, without regard to the needs of the economy and the decline in the working population,” he told NBC News.

    Putin could be destroying the economy by kowtowing to the global warming cult, like our President.

    • rhywun

      using people as cannon fodder, without regard to the needs of the economy and the decline in the working population

      It’s a good thing the United States doesn’t practice that.

      • Homple

        “It’s a good thing the United States doesn’t practice that.”

        At least we’re sparing our working population by using Ukrainians as cannon fodder.

      • rhywun

        Oh, we’re fucking our working population in other ways.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Shaping tiny minds

    Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey on Friday announced she replaced her director of early childhood education over the use of a teacher training book, written by a nationally recognized education group, that the Republican governor denounced as teaching “woke concepts” because of language about inclusion and structural racism.

    Barbara Cooper was forced out as as head of the Alabama Department of Early Childhood Education after Ivey expressed concern over the distribution of the book to state-run pre-kindergartens. Ivey spokesperson Gina Maiola identified the book as the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) Developmentally Appropriate Practice Book, 4th edition. Maiola said she understands that the books have been removed from the state classrooms.

    ——-

    The book is a guide for early childhood educators. It is not a curriculum taught to children.

    The governor’s office, in a press release, cited two examples from the book — one discussing white privilege and that “the United States is built on systemic and structural racism” and another that Ivey’s office claimed teaches LGBTQ+ inclusion to 4-year-olds. Those sections, according to a copy of the 881-page book obtained by The Associated Press, discuss combating bias and making sure that all children feel welcome.

    What else would you be teaching four year olds?

    • rhywun

      So the governor of Alabama and the Associated Press see two different things in that book. Imagine that.

    • Rat on a train

      It is not a curriculum taught to children.
      Like Antifa, it is just an idea. Why are you banning something that doesn’t happen?

      • The Last American Hero

        We don’t teach Mein Kampf to 4 year old kids, we just make sure the teaching guide includes the relevant portions so they can communicate the key takeaways to the kids.

    • Mojeaux

      Thank you!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    NAEYC is a national accrediting board that works to provide high-quality education materials and resources for young children. In an emailed response to The Associated Press, the group did not address Ivey’s statements but said the book is a research-based resource for educators.

    “For nearly four decades, and in partnership with hundreds of thousands of families and educators, Developmentally Appropriate Practice has served as the foundation for high-quality early childhood education across all states and communities. While not a curriculum, it is a responsive, educator-developed, educator-informed, and research-based resource that has been honed over multiple generations to support teachers in helping all children thrive and reach their full potential,” the statement read.

    Oh. That’s nice.

    • juris imprudent

      Are they involved in Head Start – you know the program that is shown to have no positive effect in the long term.

  25. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    Enjoy the drunken shenanigans, it sounds wonderful!

    You know what’s not wonderful? Fucking snow and cold on Earth Day. I want a refund!

    …a guy whose successful pop career obscured the fact that he was a fucking amazing musician

    I grew up listening to his albums, My dad was a huge fan. Probably because of stuff like this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETkzK9pXMio

  26. DEG

    Every ambulance and SWAT vehicle in the county is parked here in anticipation.

    All two of them?

    Our little coffeeshop laid in a couple of carboys of THC-laced lemonade which we’re breaking down into 10 oz. bottles. WebDom’s review: “Me and (l0B0t) and Ginger each had a sip from the bottle. I can no longer feel my tongue. Ginger says she feels like soup.”

    🙂

    Latest NPR Lady is heading down here to try it. It’s going to be a fun day.

    Yeah. Marijuana makes some people horny.

    The son said he heard the interrogators while they were shouting at his father in a nearby room. “I could hear my father moaning, then there was silence,” Abdullah recounted. “Then I heard the policemen call on my father to wake up after he apparently lost consciousness. Later one of the officers came and asked me if my father was suffering from any chronic diseases.”

    You gotta do a better job covering up than that.

    Old Guy Music is good.

  27. Count Potato

    “Could the man jailed for John Lennon’s murder be INNOCENT? New documentary says a SECOND gunman could have fired fatal shots and questions whether killer Mark Chapman was brainwashed by CIA

    The .38 calibre handgun used by Mark David Chapman to kill John Lennon

    The surgeon who treated Lennon and the two nurses who assisted are all adamant that Lennon was shot in the front, with the four bullets grouped closely together, suggesting a high degree of marksmanship, and three passing straight through his body and out of his rear shoulder…..

    Yet retired NYPD lead detective Ron Hoffman, in a recorded interview with Whelan, claimed Lennon must have been shot in the back and not in the front, stating: ‘It’s impossible because he (Lennon) was walking up the stairs in front of Yoko’….

    He continued: ‘The hollow-point bullets Chapman supposedly used do not usually pass through a victim, as they are designed to spread out on impact, causing maximum damage to the body.’

    Yet three bullets did pass through Lennon, leaving holes in the glass panels of a vestibule door attached to the security entrance of the building. Whelan claimed that the slugs’ marks in the door were too low to have come from shots to Lennon’s shoulder.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11995191/The-man-jailed-John-Lennons-murder-INNOCENT-claims-bombsehll-documentary.html

    • Gustave Lytton

      Second gunman or second gunwoman?

    • The Last American Hero

      I’m willing to give a pass to the cia on this one. I can imagine a world without pretentious douchebags.

  28. Timeloose

    Hey Neph,

    I’m off to the Fishbone and the Slackers later today.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Oops

    Anheuser-Busch’s announcement of a marketing shakeup has prompted some to claim that conservative rage over Bud Light sponsoring a social media post from transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney led to an executive being fired.

    The brewing giant announced on Friday that Vice President of Marketing Alissa Heinerscheid had taken a “leave of absence,” according to Ad Age. She will be replaced by Todd Allen, vice president of global marketing for Budweiser.

    Although it was unclear when or in what capacity Heinerscheid might return to the company, a leave of absence does not indicate that she was fired.Anheuser-Busch’s announcement of a marketing shakeup has prompted some to claim that conservative rage over Bud Light sponsoring a social media post from transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney led to an executive being fired.

    The brewing giant announced on Friday that Vice President of Marketing Alissa Heinerscheid had taken a “leave of absence,” according to Ad Age. She will be replaced by Todd Allen, vice president of global marketing for Budweiser.

    Although it was unclear when or in what capacity Heinerscheid might return to the company, a leave of absence does not indicate that she was fired.

    ——-

    Heinerscheid, who joined the company in July, has faced calls to be fired and repeated attacks from conservatives since the controversy surrounding Mulvaney erupted.

    A video clip showing Heinerscheid speaking about the need to “elevate” the “out of touch” Bud Light brand and highlight “inclusivity” shortly before the sponsored Mulvaney post provoked particular outrage.

    Maybe they gave her time off to take some remedial marketing classes.

    • Tundra

      Good. I hope this whole thing will make other companies give their balls a tug and refuse to participate.

      OTOH my daughter said she and her pals got a case of Bud Light seltzer and none of the kids would drink more than one. When college kids won’t drink alcohol I suspect that marketing isn’t their only problem.

    • Count Potato

      Everyone knows chicks in beer commercials are supposed to be hot.

      • The Last American Hero

        +2coors lite twins

  30. Count Potato

    “Rep. Rosa DeLauro praises Pete Buttigieg for the development of “female crash test dummies.”

    “This will start to fight the gender inequity among vehicle safety and crash victims.”

    We are not a serious nation.”

    https://twitter.com/burackbobby_/status/1649126948948287490

    Someone at NHTSA wanted a love doll?

    • Sean

      Democrats like hurting women.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Has anyone ever taken responsibility for government SRS mandates killing women and children?

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe the Old Man was referring to this one

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Put the vindictive cherry on top!

    In explaining his decision not to file a hate crime charge against the 84-year-old man accused of shooting Ralph Yarl, Clay County Prosecutor Zachary Thompson said Monday he did not want to risk double jeopardy.

    The explanation raised questions among observers this week, with some questioning how double jeopardy, the legal principle that a person should not be prosecuted twice for the same crime, would prevent a hate crime charge.

    After all, Missouri’s hate crime statute is intended to be added to an underlying crime such as a racially motivated shooting.

    Under Missouri law, prosecutors can add hate crime charges to felonies that are knowingly motivated because of the victim’s race, color, religion, national origin, sex, sexual orientation or disability.

    Calls for hate crime charges to be filed against the accused shooter Andrew D. Lester rose in the days after the white homeowner shot Yarl, a Black teenager who rang his doorbell by mistake in a Northland neighborhood. Yarl, a 16-year-old, had gone to the house intending to pick up his younger brothers who were actually at a house one street over.

    According to charging documents, Lester told Kansas City police that he saw a “tall, Black male” pulling the door handle and concluded he was “attempting to break into the house.”

    And of course, he NEVER would have shot a white guy trying to get in. Proving that will be a slam dunk.

    The guy is 84 years old, right? Maybe they can accuse him of being a guard at Treblinka.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    The kid didn’t die? Shows how closely I have been following this. I guess that’s why they didn’t charge the old man with first degree murder.

  34. Brochettaward

    Dave Landau is going after Steven Crowder. Cue the whining from conservatives about how why come conservatives can’t be unified.

    I like the drama. This shit is entertainment.