Confessions of a Middle Age Man in Lycra – La Edicion Michoacána

by | May 30, 2023 | Travel | 78 comments

Ciclovia is a temporary closing of streets to cars to allow cyclists and pedestrians to use the roads safely for a morning or a day.  It started in Bogota in the 1970s and has since spread to other Third World cities like Quito, Lima, Mexico City and Los Angeles.  With only about 2 miles of road closures, Ciclovia in Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico may be small, but it is mighty beautiful and a great way to see some of the sights.  Sunday morning the road in front of our hotel was closed to traffic, and slowly but surely cyclists and pedestrians began to take to the street.  We were off to a slow start to the day because we were at a party until 1 AM the night before, meaning the bike rental stand was out of bikes by the time we finished breakfast.  Luckily our hotel also had bikes to borrow for free.  No need for lycra today.  The ride was going to be short, and it seems that Mexicans don’t wear shorts, so when in Rome…

We headed east down the main road toward Callejon de Romance (The Alley of Romance), a pretty alleyway which couples deface with their padlocks signifying their love. There are a couple stories behind the name.  One is that the alley is so narrow that lovers on balconies on opposite sides of the street could reach out and touch each other.  The other story is that it got its name because there are passages from the poem “Romance a Morelia” inscribed on the walls.  Mostly I think it’s a marketing gimmick for tourists.  Whatever the origin, as we travel through the city, we could see what inspired the poet.*

“¡Romance de mi ciudad,
bañado con agua zarca,
para endulzarte, en los patios
reventaron las granadas!”

“Romance of my city,
bathed with clear blue water,
to sweeten you, in the patios
the pomegranates exploded!”

From Callejon de Romance we ride parallel to the aqueduct toward Plaza Morelos.  The aqueduct was built in the early 18th century to bring some of that clear blue water into the city during a drought, and it functioned until 1910.  Originally seven kilometers in length, today only 1700 meters remain, but it’s still an impressive sight.  Something I would have expected to see in Italy, France or Spain, but not in Mexico.  It’s interesting how technologies migrated around the world in the old days.

At Plaza Morelos coincidentally stands a statue of Jose Maria Morelos, a renowned military leader of the Mexican War of Independence.  He was born in Morelia, then known as Valladolid, in 1765.  He had some initial successes in the war racking up a record of about 22-1, including the capture of Acapulco.  That one loss was a biggie as he was eventually captured and executed in 1815.  The city was renamed in his honor in 1828.  Personally, I prefer to have cities named after people who don’t get captured, but not my pig, not my farm.  Notwithstanding his defeat and his girly name Morelos is probably worthy of a profile in toxic masculinity.

Across the street is Templo de San Diego.  From the outside it’s a fairly nondescript church, at least by Mexican standards, and at first we didn’t even bother to go inside.  But don’t be fooled.  The inside is spectacularly colorful and ornate.  We came back later to marvel at the decor and attend mass as it was Palm Sunday.  In an interesting Mexican twist, during mass someone in the back of the church would occasionally shout “¡Viva!”, which the crowd would repeat con gusto.  I half expected someone to fire a pistol in the air in celebration like in an old western movie.  Or maybe a cartoon mouse.

“En la iglesia de San Diego
se bautiza la alborada
y por ‘volo’ distribuyen
cantos de paz, las campanas.”

“In the church of San Diego
the dawn is baptized
and by flight the bells distribute
songs of peace.”

Plaza Morelos and Templo de San Diego marked the end of the road closure at the eastern end, so from there we turned back west to Fuente de las Tarascas.  The sculpture in the middle of the fountain depicts three Indian women holding up a basket of fruit.  This is the third sculpture at this location.  The first was similar to the current one but was removed in the ‘60s because boobs.  The second sculpture transitioned and had no boobs.  In the ‘80s they brought boobs back, proving once again that the ‘80s were the greatest decade.

“Cestas de frutas le suben,
en agosto las muchachas.”

“Baskets of fruit are raised up
by the girls in August.”

Back on the main street we make a stop and Museo de Dulce to pick up some gifts.  Museum guides dressed in 19th century apparel show how they have made candies from local fruits for 150 years by macerating fruit like coconut or quince, mixing with sugar, and then letting the mix simmer before cooling into blocks.  The blocks were then chopped into smaller pieces and packaged in paper wrapping.

“Portales donde se esconden
el amor en raya de agua
de papel con filo de oro
y dos palomitas castas,
olor de la fruta de horno
junto a las ollas de horchata,
requiebros del membrillate
a la desnuda cocada.”

“Portals where they hide
love in streaks of water
Of gold edged paper
and two breeds of doves,
smell of oven fruit
next to the horchata pots,
Complements of the quince
to the bare coconut sweets.”

Across the street is a government building where protesters have expressed their discontent by spray painting slogans.  And by protesters, I mean local Antifa.  Some of the graffiti read “Aborto libre” and “ACAB”.  It’s not clear if they wanted abortion laws loosened in Mexico or if they wanted them to be free of charge.  Maybe they are like American progs, something is available only if someone else is paying for it.

Further west we pass the cathedral, which is sandwiched between Plaza de Armas and Plaza Melchor Ocampo. The cathedral has a pink hue due to the color of the local stone used in its construction.  Construction began in 1660 and was completed in 1774, which is faster construction than California’s High Speed Rail.  It has two towers in the front and a blue tiled dome in the middle.  While the interior is not as striking as Templo de San Diego, the exterior is fantastic.  Within the pink walls of the cathedral is a huge organ.  With 4600 pipes and it was the largest organ in the Western Hemisphere when it was imported from Germany.  The cathedral hosts the Morelia Organ Festival, not to be confused with the Folsom Street Fair.

“¡Rosa plegaria de piedra
que levanta entre dos plazas
secular clamor del hombre,
trocado en torres ufanas!”

“Rose prayer of stone
that raises between two squares
secular clamor of man,
turned into proud towers!”

Next to the Cathedral was the Plaza de Armas where numerous vendors were selling foods (including crickets, they make you strong), drinks, souvenirs, and various trinkets made from palms.  The plaza was decorated with giant Easter eggs and an Easter bunny. The Viejitos performed for the tourists.  The Viejitos are a group of dancers consisting of four men from the Purepecha tribe.  They wear masks to look like old men, hence their name.  Each dancer represents earth, air, fire or water.  Kind of like an indigenous boogie wonderland.  

“Plaza de Armas rumorosa
en noches de serenata,
cuando vueltas y más vueltas
dan mis garbosas paisanas,
regando luengos adioses
para envolver al que pasa.”

“The buzzing Plaza de Armas
In nights of serenade,
When round and round
my graceful countrymen give
watering long goodbyes
to envelop those that pass by.”

Soon we hit the western end of the road, or at least the closed road, and it’s time to turn around and return the bikes.  The ride was short, sweet, beautiful and poetic.

So should you visit Morelia yourself?  It’s only a four hour bus ride from Mexico City, so if you are in the area and have the time, yes.  It’s a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and there’s more to see than I’ve shown here.  It’s cheap, and the people were friendly.  Will I go again?  If I have another party to go to, sure.  I would also consider using it as a base to explore other cities in the area like Patzcuaro, which is known for its Day of the Dead festivities and was the inspiration for some of the scenes in the movie Coco.

But what about safety?  The State Department discourages visiting. 

I’m not going to lie, that warning made me a little nervous before our trip.  Despite what the experts in the State Department said, we felt perfectly safe, safer than in most big cities in the US.  We walked around the city day and night, rode the local bus (more like a minivan), took Uber, and were on the streets late at night.  No hint of trouble.  Maybe we are just Science Deniers.  Or maybe we got lucky.  All the locals and all the semi-locals said it’s safe, just be off the highways after about 10 PM.  Perhaps locals have a different perception of “safe”, but even the retired gringo expats we met said they felt safe.  “But tell people back home it’s terrible.  We don’t want a bunch of tourists.”  So don’t go.  It’s terrible.  But really, go, even if you don’t ride a bike or wear lycra.

 

*Poem translated with the help of Google.  It probably sounds better in Spanish.

About The Author

JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

Am I being detained?

78 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Play that funky First white boy…

  2. pistoffnick

    pomegranates exploded!

    My pomegranates explode with delight!

  3. Sean

    Boobs.

  4. Tundra

    Nice travelogue!

    Looks like my kind of place.

    And yes, the 80’s were the best decade.

  5. juris imprudent

    Within the pink walls of the cathedral is a huge organ.

    Euphemism, phrasing… something or other.

    • R C Dean

      I think the table was set with

      “in the patios
      the pomegranates exploded!”

  6. DEG

    In the ‘80s they brought boobs back, proving once again that the ‘80s were the greatest decade.

    🙂

    which is faster construction than California’s High Speed Rail.

    That’s a low bar.

  7. ron73440

    Looks like a great place to visit.

    “But tell people back home it’s terrible. We don’t want a bunch of tourists.”

    Everyone thinks they should be the last person to move somewhere.

  8. Rat on a train

    I didn’t know Michoacan is a “level 4: do not travel” location. The details reflect the local advice to avoid highways at night:

    Travel for U.S. government employees is limited to the following areas with the noted restrictions:

    Federal Highway 15D: U.S. government employees may travel on Federal Highway 15D to transit the state between Mexico City and Guadalajara.
    Morelia: U.S. government employees may travel by air and by land using Federal Highways 43 or 48D from Federal Highway 15D.

    • Drake

      Maybe because my wife is in the insurance business, I always think that warnings about traveling in Mexico are more about targeted kidnappings than random street crime.

      Don’t look rich – or like you have family that cares about you.

      • Rat on a train

        Don’t look rich
        I was travelling with my wife’s family in Manila. We were pulled over for making an illegal turn. The driver was haggling over the “fine” which went up when the cop noticed me in the back seat. If only I had followed the travel briefing advice to blend in with the locals.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Our neighbors who invited us are from there. Their kids also spend a fair amount of time there. I figured they wouldn’t invite us gringos if they thought it was unsafe. The people we spoke with said the cartels don’t want to mess with the gringos, because it would be bad for business. The people you have to watch out for are the wannabe cartel members who go rogue. That might be what happened to that black family a few months ago that crossed the border for some medical reason. I also figured that we would be there for such a short time that we wouldn’t establish a pattern, which would make it easier for kidnappers to grab us.

    • EvilSheldon

      Among people who frequently travel in the third world, US State Department travel advisories are considered somewhere between propaganda and paranoia. UK and Australian travel advisory notifications are generally more accurate.

  9. Toxteth O'Grady

    ¡Muy linda!

  10. Brochettaward

    I have heard that transgenderism is leading some to a philosophy of transhumanism.

    TransFirstism has been around for millennia. It is a heretical sect of former Firsters who believe they can transcend even being First. We all know that there is no way that someone can be above First, that there is no zero. There can never be any zero. What you are left with are the sad husk of great Firsters who have lost their way.

    • Brochettaward

      I mean, think of it. Zero is nothing. IT IS NOTHING.

      It is an attempt to turn Firsters into nihilists.

      • juris imprudent

        Hold tight to that narcissism.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        It’s all he has.

  11. ron73440

    Looking on google maps, that aqueduct and fountain are very impressive.

  12. Sensei

    Speaking of bicycles. Who doesn’t want to make sure his or her pedal powered bicycle is both fully paired and charged to be able to change gears?

    New Campagnolo Super Record is wireless, disc brake only, and the thumb shifter is gone

    https://www.cyclingnews.com/news/new-campagnolo-super-record-wireless/

    Coupled with all the modern engine systems we really are done for when the inevitable apocalypse comes.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      The wireless derailleurs have been around for a while now.

      I don’t get it. I don’t want to have to plug my bike into a USB charger in order to ride.

      • Nephilium

        What could possibly go wrong?

        You’ll need to remember to do this though, as unlike the status light on the shifter for those batteries, the derailleurs won’t warn you when they’re getting low.

      • rhywun

        wireless derailleurs

        I don’t get it. What is the point of this? Push-button shifting or something?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I’ve heard good things about electronic shifting, but I don’t want to have one more thing to charge. I already have my bike computer, heart rate monitor and earphones to worry about, but if one of those goes out, it’s no big deal. When you can’t shift, it can be a problem. I don’t want to replace the batteries on the fly like this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtiJ0Bg9hts

      • Scruffyy Nerfherder

        I don’t want to replace the batteries on the fly like this guy

        That’s a no from me, dawg.

      • Tundra

        Why wouldn’t you put in new batteries before each race?

        Also, that’s a fantastic way to earn the nickname ‘Lefty’.

  13. Certified Public Asshat

    People are going to Target and taking all the pride merch to the register to purchase, waiting for the wagie to take all the hangers and tags off, asking the wagie to add the protection plan on each item, then realizing they forgot their wallets and then leaving pic.twitter.com/SxrCri0Db3— Walt The Savage 🇺🇸 (@ItsWaltBitch) May 29, 2023

    I’m not saying I have in the past taken books (you know the books) from the local library and hidden them under book shelves.

    • Brochettaward

      You aren’t punishing the corporate stooges who made the decisions by doing this. You are punishing the employee unfortunate enough to have to deal with your bullshit.

      • R.J.

        Looks like it may be crazy leftists once again stirring up shit that somebody else has to smell.

      • Sensei

        Having been one of those, that’s my thought too.

        However, unlike yelling at the cashier (i.e. over corporate mask requirement) this one impacts the store and corporate much more than the cashier. They deal with restock/returns and the increase in labor.

        So I’m torn on this.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        How? They get paid regardless.

        Personally I would rather restock the same items 8 times a day than work the register.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m sure you would be thrilled if people came into your business and created extra work for you or your coworkers just to be assholes about something you have no control over.

        The fact is, they are getting paid regardless and the corporate fucks who are responsible aren’t going to lose a single dollar over this. They aren’t going to give those stores extra hours to operate because of this. They don’t really care that more productive work that could be getting done isn’t getting done, but somewhere along the chain someone detached from the reality on the ground is going to ask why something wasn’t done instead and they aren’t going to care that you had to devote an employee to restocking the pride section three times that day.

        I’m skeptical this is actual widespread, but that mindset that someone is getting paid regardless so it’s ok to fuck with them is ridiculous.

        And it’s not the cashier who will likely be doing the restocking, but whoever is in charge of or works that department in the store. And if the cashier is unlucky enough to have a line form behind the asshole wasting their time, they’ll have to deal with those people and their attitude, too.

      • Brochettaward

        Moreover, this hits another pet peeve of mine. How people treat employees of corporations in general. They know the employee is basically neutered and can’t do shit because corporate is going to back the customer in almost every scenario so they treat them like shit. It’s where the Karen’s get to throw their weight around the most.

        The employee could see someone stocking that cart up, no exactly what’s going on, and yet be powerless to tell the customer to leave because of policies they have no control over. Like the Lulu Lemon employees who lost their jobs recently for calling the cops on three thieves snatching up whatever they could. Woke corporate fucks institute policy and fuck over their wage slaves at every turn.

        Customers, whether they can articulate it or not, are well aware of this dynamic and abuse it constantly.

        I am all for spending your money at places where the people running it don’t hate you and aren’t doing things that contradict your values. That is not a free pass to go in and fuck with employees making shit money and making their day more difficult.

      • Tundra

        I agree with all of this. Taking out your frustrations on line workers is lame.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        The idea that this doesn’t hurt Target more is absurd.

        You can certainly take it too far but what is being described in the tweet is not what I would consider abusing the employee. In fact, maybe even empowering. These employees aren’t as helpless as you portray them to be.

        Like the Lulu Lemon employees who lost their jobs recently for calling the cops on three thieves snatching up whatever they could. Woke corporate fucks institute policy and fuck over their wage slaves at every turn.

        Exactly, Target does not give a fuck about it’s employees. Is Target going to make them restock the same garbage over and over, creating more employee discontent, or get the hint? This is valuable information to the employee.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “Wagie”? 🤨

      The poor cashiers.

      • R.J.

        I feel for them. I hope they start a “Wall of Shame” so such assholes are banned from store property.

      • Nephilium

        Didn’t happen when union agitators were doing it at a retail shop I worked at that was using (gasp) non-union construction for a remodel. They would fill up carts with items, go into a rant at the checkout, and dump them on the floor in outrage when they learned why there were good union workers picketing the store.

        The company got a restraining order on them the next day.

      • rhywun

        Assuming this isn’t just made-up.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Not a fan of this at all. It’s not vandalism, but it tiptoes up to the edge of it. If you don’t like what they’re doing, then just don’t shop there.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        It’s kind of a dick move. I guess it’s a tuck short of vandalism.

    • EvilSheldon

      What the fuck is a ‘wagie?’

      • Sean

        “wage slave”

      • EvilSheldon

        Huh. Commies never get any less lame, do they?

      • juris imprudent

        They’ve been waiting for their utopia so long, they’ve gotten extra dopey.

  14. Drake

    Neo-cons are going to be sad.
    https://www.livemint.com/news/world/brics-bank-to-expand-membership-as-saudi-arabia-looks-to-join-11685435630975.html

    https://asia.nikkei.com/Politics/Turkey-elections/Erdogan-leaned-into-defense-religion-to-win-tight-Turkish-election

    He’s going to have a summit with Assad, get out of Syria, and make up with the Arabs with Russia facilitation. The neo-cons strategy of creating chaos in the Middle East is just about over.

    Turkey’s now looking East instead of west and will remain neutral in the Ukraine mess while making oil deals with Russia.

    • Scruffyy Nerfherder

      Yup. The Erdogan win was a huge loss for DC and their Brit compatriots. I won’t be surprised if they try to color revolution him or just knock him off. They’re that far gone that they would try it in a NATO country.

    • Lackadaisical

      Sounds like we need to change regimes in Turkey. /Neocons

      • Rat on a train

        The Turkiye rebranding wasn’t enough?

      • Tundra

        It’s “Keeve”

      • Lackadaisical

        Exactly, make Byzantium great again.

      • Lackadaisical

        I’m not doing that or keev.

    • Brochettaward

      Our foreign policy is a senseless disaster at anything beyond enriching our ruling class and serving as yet another outlet for them to exercise their arbitrary stupidity masquerading as ideology. Silly things like national interest mean little.

  15. DrOtto

    “In the ’80s they brought boobs back…” John Ashcroft hardest hit.

    • Fourscore

      Every 2/4 years we get new boobs but some of the old ones never leave

  16. Sensei

    A new report finds NASA has spent an obscene amount of money on SLS propulsion
    https://arstechnica.com/space/2023/05/a-new-report-finds-nasa-has-spent-an-obscene-amount-of-money-on-sls-propulsion/?comments=1&comments-page=1

    There are other head-scratching issues raised by the report. For example, the current cost of manufacturing a new RS-25 main engine—which will be used for the Artemis V mission and onward—is about $100 million. NASA and Aerojet are trying to achieve a 30 percent cost savings by the end of this decade, bringing the cost down to $70.5 million.

    However, in projecting these savings, Martin notes that NASA neglected to include some costs: “When calculating the total cost of the new RS-25 engines, NASA and Aerojet are only including material, engineering support, and touch labor (hands-on labor effort), while project management and overhead costs are excluded.” Who knows, maybe Aerojet’s managers will work for free for a few years.

    Compared to the private sector, even getting the cost of an RS-25 engine down to $70.5 million is a preposterously high price. Blue Origin manufactures engines of comparable power and size, the BE-4, for less than $20 million. And SpaceX is seeking to push the similarly powerful Raptor rocket engine costs even lower, to less than $1 million per engine.

    This construction was basically dictated to NASA by Congress in order to support the local suppliers. I seem to remember a map that showed that there is a vendor providing something to NASA in something 47 different states.

    • The Other Kevin

      With that big of a project there had to be a huge team of diversity, inclusion, and belonging experts working around the clock.

    • The Other Kevin

      We just had our roller derby party this weekend. Everyone was asked to bring a dish, and it indeed looked like it could feed 3,000.

      • Ted S.

        Many years back, Dad picked up a cake for Mom’s birthday. A sheet cake. For three people, since I was coming over to celebrate that day.

        Mom took a good half of it in to work the next day.

  17. R.J.

    Man buys $2,500 dollar electric mini truck from China, tests the limits:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MWcnkWA4-g&t=437s

    Awesome. And filled with destruction. I thought it did surprisingly well. That could be a decent light-duty vehicle on a small farm.

    • Tundra

      Haha! That’s great!

    • DEG

      🙂

  18. Tundra

    Midday Jennifer Connelly

    Consider this my apology for the sundress nightmare earlier.

    • DEG

      My God, It’s Full of Stars

  19. The Late P Brooks

    server error is back.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    “We don’t ignore the chatter,” BMW design boss Adrian van Hooydonk tells TG. “We hear it. We see it.”

    If by “chatter” you mean YOU DUMB BASTARDS HAVE DESTROYED A ONCE GREAT CAR COMPANY.

    Clean

    • Sean

      Approved.

    • Sensei

      …and Italian. Giorgetto Giugiaro.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Giorgetto Giugiaro.

    They knew enough back then to hire somebody who could draw something a little more sophisticated than a brick.