Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20A | 20B | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25-26 | 27 | 28-29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35-36 | 37 | 38A
PART I
SPEAKING IN TONGUES
38-B
(Please note: This is a long-ass chapter in which many of your questions continue to get answered. I’ve split it in four [yes, four] parts.)
“I’ll take that drink now,” Albright said conversationally, suddenly much less hostile. “Sarsaparilla, if you have it.”
Trey snapped his fingers and lickety split the glass appeared in front of the Mormon like magic. “Allrightythen. Next, what did Scarritt do to Boss Tom that was worth this cash cow?”
His eyebrow rose. “And this cash cow is worth getting married?”
“To Marina? Yeah.” That was when the man showed his first bit of surprise, which irritated Trey. “Boss Tom obviously didn’t tell you this, but he made that bet after he caught me oglin’ Marina. I was gonna ask her out anyway just as soon as I found out who she was and where to catch her.” Trey was vaguely pleased by the man’s growing shock. “Furthermore, which he also didn’t tell you, he ordered me to do it. He didn’t think I could in the two months he gave me, and frankly, I didn’t think I could either, but dammit, I was gonna try to get somethin’ out of that devil’s bargain.” He caught the shocked disgust on Albright’s face. “If you and he are such good friends, maybe you oughta go back to him and ask him what the hell was he thinkin’. My neck ain’t worth much, but I kinda like it. An’ on toppa all ’at, I still got Lazia waitin’ for the first chance to take it ’cuz he’s wanted it since I cleaned it up, and both Charlie Carrollo and Solly Weissman’s got a hard-on for me that ain’t gonna get satisfied until this place is in ashes and I’m in the ground.”
Bishop Albright grunted.
“Answer the question. 1520’s not worth avenging a petty grudge.”
“TJ owned Scarritt’s church building,” he began, impressing Trey because only Boss Tom’s very close friends got to call him TJ. “But he wasn’t using it for anything and he wanted to sell it. Scarritt wanted to buy it. TJ wasn’t asking over market, but Scarritt wouldn’t pay more than half that. They parted company. Not knowing, one of Tom’s soldiers started buying hooch from somebody connected to Scarritt. Scarritt came up with the cash. Sale was made. Turns out, Scarritt’s soldiers were hijacking Tom’s hooch and selling it back to him. That might not have set Tom off if Scarritt hadn’t rubbed his nose in it.”
The way he’d made Trey get on his knees in front of him.
“Why’n’t he just burn the goddamned thing down right then an’ bust up his operation? ’Swhat I’d’a done.”
“You would, but TJ’s grudge was with Scarritt, not Scarritt’s congregation, who vote, many of whom work for TJ, and he wanted Scarritt run out of town by his congregation the way he was in Chicago, completely ruined. Humiliated. Without a straight-up war that would not serve TJ well.”
More and more questions, but it seemed Albright was in a confessing mood, it was only eleven, and Trey had all night. “You’re friends with Tom, aren’t you?”
The Mormon’s mouth twitched up. “Grew up together up in St. Joe.”
“You part of the Machine?”
“Early days. I met my wife. We got a baby and then she got religion. I told TJ up front I wanted out and why, no strings, no looking over my shoulder. I promised I’d never inform. He promised my family and people no harm. We parted on good terms and our favors squared.”
“And now that you’ve thrown Marina in his face?”
“I’m also in possession of his second set of books.”
Trey whistled. “You got some stones for church-goin’ godfearin’ types.”
“That’s a hazard of employing honest men to keep your outfit honest.” Clearly they hadn’t cottoned onto Trey’s fraud. “As it happens, your bet benefited us more than he knows so I’m relatively happy. A broken-up congregation can’t do as much damage to us as a united one under a charlatan’s spell.”
“You hate Scarritt as much as Boss Tom does.”
Albright sipped his sarsaparilla as if it were a fine whisky. “Scarritt’s irrelevant to me. The missus, however, caught the back side of my wife’s temper.”
So Dot came by it naturally. “Because she put Marina out? ’Swhat every other respectable mother in the U.S. of A woulda done.”
“No. We’ve fostered plenty of girls whose families disowned them. It was that she called Marina every filthy word any woman’s ever been called and used a belt buckle to do it. Marina was a bloody mess when she got to my house.”
“Oh, my God,” Trey whispered, aghast, his heart in a vise.
“Liz—my wife—also got the ball rolling on the Scarritts getting run out of town.”
“You do like your women armed an’ sassy, don’t you?” Albright flashed him a grin, which lightened Trey’s load a little. Still … Bloody mess. “How much damage did your wife do?”
“She looked like she got beaten by her husband.” Albright seemed rather proud.
“Well, I’m impressed, but why’n’t you do it? I woulda beat her to death.”
“I was at work,” he said impatiently. “I couldn’t have done anything anyway because Scarritt didn’t beat Marina. The missus did.”
“So?”
“If I went after a preacher, disgraced or not, every church-going soul in three counties would wipe us out. Never mind if I went after a woman.”
“Extermination Order, a’ight. But your missus did, so … ?”
“When women go to war, smart men stay out of it.”
“I live with twelve women, including my cook, an’ I know all about female warfare. I ain’t havin’ that shit in my house.”
“You’re their boss and you aren’t sleeping with them.”
It was a question. “No.”
“Few men want to be seen as a woman beater, even if they are.”
“You spend too much time at church. Got cats in here all the time talkin’ ’bout how they keep order in their house an’ don’t tolerate no backtalk. Right proud about their methods.”
“I don’t hold with such,” he drawled with a contemptuous look.
Trey snarled. “I wouldn’t marry a woman I’d be tempted to hit, but everybody else? I may be an evil sumbitch but I got my lines an’ I’mma enforce ’em. Don’t care if it has a dick or not.”
Albright nodded. “I figured. But remember you’re the reason Marina got the stuffing beaten out of her.”
Guilt flooded him. “In my defense,” Trey muttered, properly chastised, “I thought the worst that’d happen would be the missus’d lock her up to keep her as her caretaker, the way Dot told it. I thought Dot was bitter because Marina couldn’t come to her church, but then I got to watchin’ and decided there was somethin’ to it.”
“Dot is bitter about that, yes, but we raised her savvy and cynical. Too much so, I’m afraid.”
“Enough to know Scarritt was fuckin’ half his congregation. Not enough to sniff out Gio before she went and tumbled head over.”
“True. She says the missus would’ve put up a fuss about Marina getting married and moving out, but figured Marina would live close enough she could demand her attention. Having her get pregnant out of wedlock and, worse, by a Machine underboss who’d fooled Scarritt but not certain individuals connected to the congregation who were keeping their own counsel, was too much. She tried to send her away before anybody found out, with the intention of bringing her back, but the congregation expected that so it was watching you two very carefully.
“Scarritt made the decision to turn her out completely. That was probably more to get back at the missus for taking Marina in in the first place as to save his own face. What would you have done if you’d known that would’ve happened?”
Trey sighed. “I don’t know. Found a way to protect her. Hide her. Likely put her up at the Muehlebach till she popped then found her a job.”
Albright tilted his head, confused. “You wouldn’t mind your own child going to another man to raise?”
Trey scowled, still stinging from his grandfather’s judgment. “Didn’t think about it till later.”
“I wouldn’t let my child go,” he sneered. “A real man steps up.”
“You hard’a hearin’?” Trey demanded. “I would have if I didn’t have damn near fifty people dependin’ on me to win the bet. But by that time, I woulda wanted to marry her before the baby was born an’ then Boss Tom went’n— And then threatened to get Giuseppe Morello out here.”
That surprised Albright. “Oh. Gio doesn’t know that?”
“No ’cuz I don’t know if he’s better off here or on the run, an’ I don’t want him to panic enough to send out the stink of fear. Maybe Boss Tom’ll follow through, maybe he won’t, but I ain’t stakin’ Gio’s life on it. I got a man who’s willin’ to whore himself before kill anymore an’ I ain’t gonna dishonor that. But Boss Tom also can’t promise to keep Lazia on a leash because he ain’t gonna last forever.”
Albright conceded that with a lift of an eyebrow.
“He gave me the keys to this place three weeks ago. Why’n’t you come kickin’ down my door then?”
“I would have,” he mocked, “but by the time I got home, Liz figured out what had happened and she wanted to get more information before I got my bullwhip.”
“What do you mean what happened. The girl’s pregnant. What’d you think happened?”
Albright took a deep breath. “She doesn’t remember any of it.”
Trey scowled. “I was there. It happened. I got cats in here all the time, swear they weren’t in the Great War, then get drunk and spill their dirty little secrets. I’ll allow as how I wouldn’a thought Marina’d take that tack.”
“Liz thinks she was drugged.”
38B
If you don’t want to wait 2 years to get to the end, you can buy it here.
That’s quite a bomb to drop at the end.
Is it my kindle, or are a couple lines repeated in the middle?
Way to blame the editors.
Oh, yes. I was moving shit around and forgot to take out the second one.
Never apologize!
Not only did I apologize, I FIXED IT!
Never surrender!
What are your views on nighttime sunglasses wearing?
I’m pretty sure that’s a Corey Hart reference. I prefer this.
https://youtu.be/tCZxGG_4ins
I figured you were getting paid by the word.
Was Marina with the Scarritts when they were turfed out of Chicago? Why didn’t she realize Rev. Scarritt was a charlatan?
Shit, that’s a good question. I had to go consult my notes.
Marina was a newborn, dropped on their doorstep before they managed to leave Chicago.
I don’t know how she possibly could’ve. She lives in a house with a rigid set of parents, doesn’t have any friends except Dot (who doesn’t outright say he’s a charlatan), and sees her church packed to the rafters every Sunday to practically worship at the man’s feet.
I guess the Scarritts left Chicago when Marina was too young to understand what was going on.
Yes. She was a newborn.
Because he didn’t ask for a private jet?
https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/2019/06/04/wealthy-televangelist-explains-his-fleet-of-private-jets-its-biblical-thing/4994275007/
You know who wasn’t agitated by unsolicited requests? Jesus. That’s who.
Jesus didn’t have a wide enough following to need a private jet.
If Jesus had spread the word of Firsting instead of seconding, Rome never would have fallen. Changed the entire Firstline. Fucked it all up.
Humperdoo!
I mean…
Mark 1:35-45
Other translations prefer newer Greek manuscripts, which are rendered “Jesus was moved with compassion” instead of “Jesus was indignant,” but the overall result is pretty much the same: he didn’t want to be mobbed by crowds asking for miracles and took to the hills to get away from them.
Texas-based Kenneth Copeland Ministries
It’s on Eagle Mountain Lake; they even have an airport. It’s pretty country and no one knew about it until 30 years ago.
Townes van Zandt is on my Rushmore of song writers who promised to drink themselves to death. Here’s Lyle Lovett covering Flying Shoes. That song includes the most apt couplet about Texas ever: “Spring only sighed, summer had to be satisfied.”
*goes down a Lyle Lovett rabbit hole*
Not the Bee?
They have done a bunch of Copeland in the past
https://babylonbee.com/news/kenneth-copeland-real-pickle-audience-member-names-claims-private-jet
When I worked graves, I’d see his morning show. Guy looked like a troll.
Damn, this will probably give the Libertarian Party thoughts about getting a private jet for the Chair to zoom around the country spreading libertarian ideas to the 1% of voters who even want to listen.
Leaving aside his actual theology entirely, Copeland looks bugfuck nuts and his mannerisms are creepy as fuck. I can’t imagine how he has a following as large as he has.
I was thinking the same thing.
People still believe the government has their best interests at heart too.
“ Texas-based Kenneth Copeland Ministries could not be reached for comment Monday. A blog post on its website titled “Glory to God! It’s Ours! The Gulfstream V is in our hands!””
*chuckle*
“And now that you’ve thrown Marina in his face?”
“I’m also in possession of his second set of books.”
Trey whistled. “You got some stones for church-goin’ godfearin’ types.”
“That’s a hazard of employing honest men to keep your outfit honest.”
I’ll admit it. I chuckled here.
Curiouser and curioser. I figured Scarritt had sex with Boss Tom’s wife.
Oh, noooooooooo. Nope.
Thanks, Moj. Things are sort of beginning to make sense. More turns than the Pancake House.
Another week to wait…
https://twitter.com/the_binp/status/1669453117115572226
Lol
Concern trolls gonna concern
TCM Alert. Turner Classic Movies has “Earth Girls are Easy” on tonight. Consult your local times.
Just after Barbarella. I thought about it for a second and then it was, “Hanoi Jane. Pass.”
Watch Star Crash instead from Thursday’s post.
Was that the one with The Hof?
God, I think I saw that in the theater.
White women won millions for throwing black men out of Starbucks.
Is there any doubt we are in a racist country?
What a great start.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/crime-spikes-38-in-chicago-during-brandon-johnsons-first-month-in-office?dicbo=v2-QPYZoRB
⬆️
Ok, you are gonna have a hard time processing this one.
ACLU claims that *not* chopping off a rapist’s penis and testicles is “cruel and unusual punishment”
https://twitter.com/ACLU/status/1669705153316880385?t=0yZE3f0V_iO81RgHN1rLBw&s=19
I’m not sure I see the point in even trying to engage with that level of insanity in an argument.
I… can’t even.
Good morning, get out there and kick some ass.
🌄😋
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d6xRchiOTtQ
🎵🎵
Good morning, Sean, rhy, and…ummm…Nerfy!
😁
I got my grass cut thursday. I have all day to fuck off.
suh’ fam
whats goody yo
And since Tres V 2.0 is out of town……TALL CANS!
Good morning, homey! Are you feeling less anxious about the new gig (I hope?)
Oh more. Every waking hour.
You got this!!
Tinky’s here!
I woke up way too early, but good morning, y’all!
Good morning, Tundy! 😉
😎