Confessions of a Middle Age Man in Lycra – Tour de France

by | Jun 22, 2023 | Fitness, Sports, Travel | 171 comments

Our tour of France had taken us to several destinations.  We had already been in Tours to see the chateaux in the Loire Valley, Dordogne to see the Lascaux Caves, Arles to see Roman ruins and van Gogh, Avignon to see the seat of the true pope, and Lourdes to get right with God.  Why God wants us to go to a tourist trap is a mystery to me, but it beats being told to sacrifice your son, though the way my son was behaving at times, I was tempted to offer him up. 

Nice on the French Riviera was the latest stop in our tour.  The Riviera is a bit of a cycling Mecca.  Many of the highest paid riders live in Monaco, and many others who aren’t as well paid live in or near Nice.  Because I don’t care much for the beach, and the beach in Nice isn’t actually all that nice, I got a hall pass from the wife to go for a ride, while she went to the beach with the kids.  

Early in the morning before the heat and the traffic set in I hopped on the bus and headed to the harbor to pick up my rental at Cafe du Cycliste.  The goal was Col d’Eze, a 500 meter climb over about 10 km toward the town of Eze.  It’s a road that’s used in the real Tour de France and the Paris-Nice Race (The Race to the Sun) so I could compare myself to the pros.  Once on the Corniche it gives spectacular views of the Mediterranean below.  The first part of the climb leaving town is steep, about a 10% grade, but at some point the grade eases off and views open up.  I felt like James Bond cruising around on a two-wheeled Aston-Martin.  My time up the climb is just a little slower than the pros, but they weren’t stopping to take pictures and admire the view, which I’m sure accounts for the time difference.

I don’t ride that fast even when it’s flat.

After a little downhill I rolled into La Turbie, which is the home of Trophy of the Alps, a Roman monument celebrating their victory over the indigenous Ligurian tribes.  It sounds problematic and probably should be torn down and replaced with a statue of George Floyd or some other hero.  I filled up my water bottle from a public fountain which seemed to attract cyclists like poop attracts flies.  I was literally at a crossroad.  I could turn right and roll back down the Corniche toward Nice, or I could turn left and continue up into the mountains.  As it was still early, my water bottles were full, and I was feeling high on life, I turned left toward the mountains.

Across the Autoroute the climb to Pielle began. The road hugs the cliffs and passes through a series of single lane tunnels.  I probably should have studied the traffic signs to understand who had the right-of-way through those tunnels.  I’m pretty sure I pissed off some drivers by ignoring the signs, but I’m a cyclist and an American.  That’s what we do.  I went from feeling like James Bond to feeling like Otto in a Fish Called Wanda.  The climb to Pielle was 180 meters up from where I crossed the Autoroute, but the gradient was gradual and the scenery was beautiful, so I didn’t even notice the climbing.  While the town is not particularly notable historically, it is picturesque.  


The road back to Nice took me down a series of switchbacks which on the map looked like they would be a lot of fun.  As it turns out, looks were deceiving.  The turns were too sharp, the road was too steep and I couldn’t see around the corners to see if a car was coming the other way so I was always on my brakes.  Now I see why races go up this hill and not down. 


Once down in the valley the riding got easier, and I lollygagged down the road.  All of a sudden some guy on a time trial bike wearing the uniform of a professional cycling team flew past me.  I thought to myself, “Guys who wear team kit are such posers.  And a time trial bike on these roads?  What a maroon.”  A couple seconds later, a car from the same team blew past me.  “Huh, that poser might actually be someone”, I said.  I started pedaling harder to try to catch him.  He slowed down as we rolled into a town, but I didn’t want to get too close behind him.  I didn’t want to be known as the guy who knocked a professional rider off his bike.  That would be tres uncool.  Just past the town he pulled off to the side of the road to wait for the team car.  As I rode by I turned to see who it was.  Holy cow, that’s Nairo Quintana.  Naironman, as he’s known in his native Colombia, was a winner of the Giro d’Italia and La Vuelta a Espana and podium finisher at the Tour de France.  He must have been in town training for the Tour which started in a week.  I can now brag that I passed a Grand Tour winner on my bike.  Sure, he was at a dead stop at the side of the road waiting for someone, but nobody has to know that part.

Naironman trying to catch me.

As I rolled into Nice traffic got heavy.  Navigating by feel I made my way down to Promenade des Anglais which goes along the beach and turned back toward where I began my ride.  Along the way I passed the Monument to the Dead of Rauba-Capeu, which was built to commemorate those from the region who died in WW1.

I returned my bike at the cafe and grabbed a coffee, a croissant and a shower.  I know you’re not supposed to crap where you eat, but I’m unsure of the etiquette about showering where you eat.  Frankly I was a little surprised that they had a shower given that the French don’t bathe, but I figured I’d take advantage of it as I was sweaty and sticky.  

Cleaned and fed, I got on the bus back to our apartment to drop off my stuff and join the family at the beach.  One day I’ll go back to ride more of those roads.

 

Bonus music link.  Bet you can’t guess what it is.

About The Author

JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

Am I being detained?

171 Comments

  1. Gustave Lytton

    Hall pass from the wife to go for a ride in France… and he picks up a bicycle.

    • Brochettaward

      How does it feel to First, Gustave? Can you feel the raw adrenaline pumping through your veins, making you stronger, wiser, and just better than you used to be?

  2. juris imprudent

    This is such a great series, and a wonderful installment. Thanks JR!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Agreed. Really enjoy it.

      • rhywun

        #metoo

  3. Sensei

    Nice, Nice looks nice.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      A nice place to take your niece, Nice.

    • R C Dean

      Ages ago, after I graduated law school, we spent a couple weeks in Europe. We stayed in Nice a couple of days. I really liked it – the people were very pleasant.

      The beach is not great. Rocky, and when we were on it, the city was dumping raw sewage (I think – it was a very dingy grey) into the ocean just off the beach.

      But if you’re planning to visit France and get out of Paris, I can recommend Nice.

  4. kinnath

    A nice day to break away from the wife and kids.

  5. R.J.

    Excellent. You are now my favorite Spandex Spiderman.

  6. Tundra

    Travel articles are my fave. Thanks, JR!

    My must see list is getting really goddamn long, though.

  7. Fourscore

    Thanks JR, been a long time since I left France, a short visit with you doing the driving was great.

    • Tundra

      Which would suggest a catastrophic failure, correct? I guess that’s the best awful outcome you could hope for.

      • WTF

        And not surprising given the safety concerns of the guy they fired for raising them.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Kind of crazy that they never fully pressure tested the hull. Especially considering that they were using novel materials.

      • UnCivilServant

        Psh, my blue-haired PhD in Sea Urchin Gender Studies tells me it’s fine.

      • WTF

        So inspiring!

  8. WTF

    Very cool article JR, thanks!

  9. Rebel Scum

    I got a hall pass from the wife to go for a ride

    Braggart.

  10. Lackadaisical

    Nicely written, looks like a beautiful area.

    Looking forward to hearing about your professional racing exploits. 😉

  11. Drake

    Isn’t the whole area around the Titanic a debris field?

    • Sean

      Glad I wasn’t the only one wondering how silly it sounded.

    • kinnath

      I would guess that “fresh” debris scans differently that old debris.

      • WTF

        Yeah, I would assume they already are familiar with the known debris field.

  12. Sean

    I’m pretty sure I pissed off some drivers by ignoring the signs, but I’m a cyclist and an American. That’s what we do.

    Perfect.

    • Fourscore

      When in France do as the French do.

      • R.J.

        Don’t bathe, and surrender to anyone who talks to you?

      • R C Dean

        Geez, you lose one world war . . . .

        The French actually have a good martial tradition and fought well in WWI and WWII. Their navy has never done much, but their army is (was?) legit. The Foreign Legion is pretty universally respected.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The French fought bravely and incredibly stupidly in WWI and tried to execute WWII in the same manner. The rapid German success in WWII probably saved hundreds of thousands of French Soldiers from dying in a trench.

      • pistoffnick

        When in France do as the French do.

        When in Phuket, do as the …

  13. Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

    Gogh, that sounds like a great trip.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Bet you can’t guess what it is.

    I was expecting Queen.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Biden Promises To Send Rescue Train In Search Of Missing Sub

    “The train is on the way to the wreckage now,” Biden said. “We’ve diverted it from its usual course on the ocean floor across the Pacific and Indian Oceans, and it’s running as fast as possible to begin scouring the ocean floor in the North Atlantic. You know, I was on Titanic’s maiden voyage. Met a few fantastic chicks there – real babes. Didn’t look a day over 16, maybe 17. You know, I used to captain ocean liners across the Great Plains for a few summers to make some extra cash.”

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I bet Hunter likes trains.

      • EvilSheldon

        Arriving or departing?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Why not both?

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Obviously, Kamala needs to be in charge of pulling that train.

      • WTF

        Willie Brown approves.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of suicidal urges

    After years of dreamy and not always credible talk of skies filled with flying, nonpolluting electric taxis, the aviation industry is preparing to deliver a future that it says is now just around the corner.

    Capitalizing on its moment in the global spotlight, the Paris region is planning for a small fleet of electric flying taxis to operate on multiple routes when it hosts the 2024 Olympic and Paralympic Games next summer. Unless aviation regulators in China beat Paris to the punch by greenlighting a pilotless taxi for two passengers under development there, the French capital’s prospective operator — Volocopter of Germany — could be the first to fly taxis commercially if European regulators give their OK.

    ——-

    And while the vision of simply beating city traffic by zooming over it is enticing, it also is dependent on advances in airspace management. Manufacturers of eVTOLs aim in the coming decade to unfurl fleets in cities and on more niche routes for luxury passengers, including the French Riviera. But they need technological leaps so flying taxis don’t crash into each other and all the other things already congesting the skies or expected to take to them in very large numbers — including millions of drones.

    ——-

    “The idea of mass urban transit remains a charming fantasy of the 1950s,” said Richard Aboulafia of AeroDynamic Advisory, an aerospace consultancy.

    “The real problem is still that mere mortals like you and I don’t get routine or exclusive access to $4 million vehicles. You and I can take air taxis right now. It’s called a helicopter.”

    Sign me up.

    • Tundra

      Didn’t something blow up yesterday? Should be an interesting Olympics.

    • EvilSheldon

      “The idea of mass urban transit remains a charming fantasy of the 1950s,” said Richard Aboulafia of AeroDynamic Advisory, an aerospace consultancy.

      Nice to hear someone speaking the truth nowadays…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fantasy of the 1910’s, maybe. The 50’s transit fantasy was pulling your personal aerocar out of your SFH garage and flying to work.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Meet George Jetson….

  17. The Late P Brooks

    I returned my bike at the cafe and grabbed a coffee, a croissant and a shower.

    So urbane. Were the showers co-ed?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      The cutie who was making the coffee was surely lusting over me with her eyes, but alas she didn’t come into the shower.

  18. Rebel Scum

    I thought I was merely super straight.

    THE NUMBER OF terms and identities under the LGBTQ+ umbrella is ever-growing, allowing more and more people to describe their sexuality with words that make sense to them. One word you may not have heard that is helping some people express who they are is “gynosexual” (sometimes spelled “gynesexual”).

    “Gynosexuality refers to being sexually attracted to femininity, irrespective of one’s own gender identity or the gender identity of the femme-presenting person they are attracted to,” says sex educator Lilith Fox.

    • Brochettaward

      We have the most superficial narcissists in human history. They all need unique terms to describe who they want to fuck.

      “Gynosexuality refers to being sexually attracted to femininity, irrespective of one’s own gender identity or the gender identity of the femme-presenting person they are attracted to,” says sex educator Lilith Fox.

      It’s called being a lesbian or a straight man. Our old, boring binary terms already described this shit.

      • Fourscore

        They left out the ‘u” in gyno

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        In a field that has no real areas of serious research or rigor, the only way you can differentiate yourself is by coining new terms and then encouraging adoption by pushing it both through journals and social media.

        Then everyone stands around mutually admiring each others’ bullshit.

      • The Other Kevin

        Plus people have something new for their TikTok videos.

      • R C Dean

        It’s not the vast majority of lesbians or straight men, because it includes wanting to bang MTF transers.

    • Nephilium

      Just get out of here with your phallophobia!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    “Gynosexuality refers to being sexually attracted to femininity, irrespective of one’s own gender identity or the gender identity of the femme-presenting person they are attracted to,” says sex educator Lilith Fox.

    Just be sure to check the hovercraft for eels.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Send this cunte back to Ukraine where he belongs.

    Trump-Ukraine impeachment conspirator Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, USA Ret., had a meltdown Wednesday night over the censure of Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) by the Republican controlled House of Representatives over his lies and deceitful conduct falsely accusing President Trump of Russian collusion. Vindman attacked Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) and Breitbart reporter Kristina Wong, calling Wong a “bitch.”

    Better yet, trade him to Russia for that marine of ours that they have in custody.

    • Drake

      A mediocre Lt. Col staff officer who got drummed out for being a lying asshole. Why does anyone care?

    • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

      Trying to stand up for that lying sack of shit Schiff truly reveals him for who he is.

    • rhywun

      Would you look at that, one of the few men who can claim to be an even bigger weasel than Adma Schiff crawls out of the woodwork.

    • Brochettaward

      Vindman was totally a neutral whistleblower.

      • juris imprudent

        He blew Schiff’s ‘whistle’.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    I have been in a boat on a lake on a holiday weekend. It was two dimensional chaos . I can’t wait to see Jetsons-inspired carnage over New York.

  22. Tundra

    Oopsie.

    I’m sure it was just an accident.

    • Rebel Scum

      All of the Epstein emails and market manipulation emails are now gone … 🤡 🌎

      That makes dealing with lawsuit discovery easier in the future. “Sorry, deleted on accident”

      Whoops!

    • Sensei

      While troubleshooting that issue in June 2019, employees of the firm “executed deletion tasks on electronic communications from the first quarter of 2018,” the order said.

      Those employees “erroneously” believed — based on claims by the firm’s archiving vendor — that all of those documents were coded in a way to prevent the permanent deletion of those records that were required by law to be kept for three years, the order said.

      “In fact, however, the vendor did not apply the default retention settings in a particular email domain,” the order said.

      More likely really just trying to comply with the insane amount of regulatory mandates and failing because they can never be truly automated and perpetually change.

      https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/22/sec-fines-jpmorgan-chase-broker-deleted-emails.html

      • Fatty Bolger

        It’s horseshit. I worked at a major bank, we bent over backwards to not delete records that shouldn’t be deleted, to the point where many records that could (and probably should) have been deleted were not. The idea of auditors asking for something, and not being able to find it, was a terrifying prospect. I do not believe for one second that this could have happened accidentally.

      • Sensei

        I work a major financial institution too.

        We also live in fear of this, but I can see it happening. We had an archive we thought was being retained and it wasn’t. Fortunately we found it and fixed it and never needed the missed retention period.

        So I’ll politely disagree.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve seen big companies have trust in their backups that were never tested. The backups weren’t always good when they were needed later. This usually caused a process change in place that backups need to be tested, that usually lasts for a couple of years before the tests stop.

      • cyto

        Yeah, people don’t understand how fragile large scale backups can be… And also don’t understand how difficult testing those backups can be.

        We did annual failover tests of our entire infrastructure…. Phones, desktops, databases, file systems, apps…. We failed everything over to the backup site and tested it over the weekend. We brought like 40 or 50 users and supervisors to test their systems and data. Hotels, salaries, meals… It was a huge expense.

        This disaster recovery plan was crucial.

        But the backups? Daily, weekly. Monthly, quarterly and annual…. Plus long archives?

        It could take more than a day to restore from tape. Then someone has to check it for corruption?

        Yeah… We did automated checks. But we didn’t do any deep dives to be sure the 3 year old tape was intact for every department and every type of data.

        We installed an archive for discovery requests. Email, files, etc. Key data, identified by the lawyers, maintained by strict rules.

        Big corporate backup strategy is really complicated. The computer guys want everything backed up as much as feasible. The lawyers want everything deleted immediately and permanently unless the law dictates otherwise.

        And somehow the nerds have to figure out which things are part of critical backups and which things are liabilities if not deleted. Or which things will get you in trouble if they are deleted.

        Backup is a much bigger word than it first would seem.

      • kinnath

        Big corporate backup strategy is really complicated. The computer guys want everything backed up as much as feasible. The lawyers want everything deleted immediately and permanently unless the law dictates otherwise.

        When Sarbanes/Oxley went into effect, the company started deleting all email over 90 days old. It takes a special effort to save anything longer than a year.

        Purge, baby, purge!

      • R C Dean

        As I have told three hospital systems (so far) – the best way to prevent a massive HIPAA breach is to delete as much email and other data as you can stand, as early as you can stand. If you don’t have it, it can’t be illegally accessed or disclosed. A strict deletion policy is easily justified as infosec.

        Of course, the flip side of an aggressive document retention policy is that you need to have a bulletproof litigation hold facility.

    • UnCivilServant

      A cannon that fires hands?

      • R.J.

        Yes. Just ask Biden.

      • Drake

        I may want to slap people far away.

  23. Rebel Scum

    The fricken frogs are gay.

    Kamala Harris, appearing on a recent podcast:

    “I think of those two frogs. You know the two frogs and the two pots? So there are two pots of water and two frogs…”

    It’s the frog in a boiling pot metaphor as told by Horizontal Harris. Can’t tell if she knows what it means.

    • R C Dean

      I’ve never heard it as two frogs in two pots.

      I’m reluctant to call most politicians genuinely stupid. I make an exception for her.

    • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

      I can hear the squawking in his ear from here.

    • Sean

      He looks deeply unhappy.

      Good.

    • Brochettaward

      Imagine what would happen if they had him take questions from the media more than once every few months. Even the softball scripted questions.

      • Brochettaward

        What would happen? Well, nothing. Videos of it would get played in echo chambers like this while the media and late night propagandists ignore it like they do his many gaffes now.

        George W Bush was mocked for choking on a pretzel.

    • Rebel Scum

      That does not curry favor.

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        Swiss will be along shortly and you’ll be sari you said that.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        But will Hindu anything about it other than squint?

      • WTF

        He will caste his narrowed gaze upon you untouchables.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It’s gonna leave a mark. Right there on your forehead.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Probably wishing he was at the Delhi instead.

      • juris imprudent

        He will be having naan of this, do you hear!

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        We have all bindi before.

    • creech

      Sounds like opening flourish to Hail to the Chief. Yet Barry O. is nowhere in sight so why would Mr. Doctor Jill be putting his hand over heart?

  24. Raven Nation

    Have a couple of questions about dash cams: created a new topic in the Vroom Vroom Room in the forums so I don’t clutter up a post. Any thoughts appreciated.

    • Sensei

      I looked into them and while I hate video reviews in lieu of written this has been one of the better things I’ve either read or watched on the subject.

      https://youtu.be/4AnyhHl3_tE

      They all generally use the same image sensor and software regardless of brand.

  25. Ted S.

    Tongue twister:. My nice niece Denise from Nice has nice knees.

    • Tres Cool

      I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit. And on the slitted sheet I sit.

      Also (learned from Ex Ms. Cool)-

      Better Botter bought some butter. But she said “this butter’s bitter! If I put it in my batter it shall make my batter bitter!”
      So Betty Botter bought some better butter for her batter.

      • juris imprudent

        So Amber Heard just got that tongue twister a little mixed up – when there was sleet.

  26. Sensei

    I’ve read four different outlets version of this story and can’t find the actual “death” threat. Threats – yes, but nothing explicit about death.

    https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/entertainment/television/2023/06/21/kcci-meteorologist-chris-gloninger-leaving-tv-station-death-threat-ptsd-diagnosis-climate-change/70343855007/

    OTH, they guy is supposed to be explaining if you need an umbrella tomorrow. I didn’t realize he felt it was his job to save the world too.

    • Drake

      He has PTSD from blow-back over his climate nonsense. So he’s quitting his job to spew that nonsense full time.

    • Brochettaward

      Men stormed the beaches of Normandy so this guy could be a giant pulsating pussfilled vag.

    • Sean

      He loves the cock. Loves it!

  27. mikey

    Thx. Fun read JR. Cycling that part of the planet would be a great vacation for me. ‘Course now I’d have to use an e-bike with all the climbing.

    • Sensei

      And has the local “real news” picked up the story or will this continue only to be discussed by alternative (aka right wing) media?

      That guy sounds like a wonderful person.

      • Tundra

        Shockingly they did.

        They even included this:

        He is the son of former state Rep. John Thompson, DFL-St. Paul.

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        Ah… well there it is.

      • Tundra

        It gets worse.

        Derrick Thompson issued new MN driver’s license 9 days before fatal crash.

        Minnesota Department of Public Safety officials confirm Thompson applied for a new driver’s license in March, but national databases showed his privileges were invalid in another state — presumably California.

        Then, on June 7 — nine days before the deadly crash on Lake Street — Minnesota issued Thompson a new driver’s license when the database showed his privileges were valid in all states, according to DPS.

        DPS did not explain how that happened.

        I’ve got a couple of ideas.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Magically the database just fixed the glitch! So weird. Happens to all of and for sure all those people on the No Fly List.

      • SDF-7

        Well there’s now the Hunter Biden legal precedent for sons of politicians. He’ll be fine with diversion.

    • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

      Dude, he loves his mama and was about to turn his life around.

      That said, they may have just gone with what they knew would put him away forever and wouldn’t require a higher burden of proof that they could fuck up in court.

      • Sean

        That said, they may have just gone with what they knew would put him away forever

        LOL. Sure.

        So, I’ve got this bridge for sale…

    • Sean

      Maybe CommaLa can bail him out.

    • kinnath

      Wessel /Chekov

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah I mean, I think everyone knew it was doomed and I think everyone was hoping for a dramatic rescue at the same time.

      • R.J.

        Sounds like at least it was a quick implosion vs. oxygen starvation in their own feces. More debris will appear soon no doubt.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Probably better to go out that way rather than sitting in a small tube at the bottom of the ocean while slowly losing oxygen.

      • Sean

        “Are we there yet?”
        “Are we there yet?”
        “Are we there yet?”
        “Are we there yet?”
        “Are we there yet?”
        “Are we there yet?”

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        You’d never know what happened. The implosion at that depth would be instantaneous and catastrophic.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Since I am cynical about our media and government, have they known about that debris field for some time before now?

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        I would assume the Navy heard it when it happened.

      • WTF

        Yup, they had to know. So I wonder why they put on the “search and rescue” dog and pony show.

      • Sean

        Distraction?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well….unless the last *ping* which was 8 hours before they contacted the Coast Guard was when the event happened…

      • Nerfherder (Non-Non-Man)

        It would potentially reveal methods. Unlike “compromising human sources”, this objection actually has some validity.

      • tarran

        It’s a good exercise to drill your equipment and men. Also, what if the sound wasn’t the implosion of the Titan but the collapse of part of the Titanic?

      • Ownbestenemy

        What a coincidence the debris field was found just after the suspected oxygen supply was to be depleted. I like being led around when my wife is holding the leash.

      • R.J.

        No, that’s a ton of shit down there. Somebody had to be looking for new things in the giant pile of shit. Considering the whole sub was made of crap, it would be hard to tell that debris field from the debris already there.
        As far as hearing it, when it imploded I doubt anyone was scrutinizing that area close enough to hear it go bloop. Now that the navy the team is listening, the various pings heard were probably various sub components settling into their final resting places on the Titanic.

      • WTF

        The Navy is constantly scrutinizing the North Atlantic looking for Russian subs.

      • kinnath

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wreck_of_the_Titanic#:~:text=Two%20autonomous%20underwater%20vehicles%E2%80%94torpedo,over%20130%2C000%20high%2Dresolution%20images.

        RMS Titanic Inc. mounted further expeditions to the Titanic in 2004[70] and 2010, when the first comprehensive map of the entire debris field was produced. Two autonomous underwater vehicles—torpedo-shaped robots—repeatedly ran backward and forward across the 3-by-5-nautical-mile (6 km × 9 km) debris field, taking sonar scans and over 130,000 high-resolution images. This enabled a detailed photomosaic of the debris field to be created for the first time, giving scientists a much clearer view of the dynamics of the ship’s sinking.

        My understanding is that the existing debris field is fully mapped. New debris should be detectable.

      • creech

        Or dreaming like that Russian cosmonaut stranded in space back in the USSR day.

      • creech

        Fuck it , “screaming.”

      • kinnath

        For here am I sitting in a tin can
        Far above the world
        The planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing left to do

      • Sensei

        Im Kontrollzentrum, da wird man panisch
        Der Kurs der Kapsel, der stimmt ja gar nicht
        “Hallo Major Tom, können Sie hören
        Woll’n Sie das Projekt denn so zerstören?”
        Doch er kann nichts hör’n

    • WTF

      I’m sure it had nothing to do with descending to 4,000 meters while using components that were rated for 1,500 meters and never bothering to do any stress scans. Good thing they fired the guy who warned about that.

    • Rebel Scum

      Yes, I’m going to hell.

      I have been chuckling about this since the beginning. Mostly the irony. So I’ll join you in hell. I can handle the pressure.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Quick wiki reading of the Titanic wreck and i hate pretty much everyone involved in it for the past forty years.

      • R.J.

        It is vile. Might was well make it a world heritage site to keep the vampires away.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The UNESCO declaration and intergovernmental agreements/treaties are part of my hate.

  28. kinnath

    Iowa man shot, killed by deputy

    An Iowa deputy shot and killed a man after responding to a call about a domestic dispute, law enforcement officers said.

    Franklin County deputies went to the scene in Sheffield in northern Iowa Tuesday night. They found a man brandishing a handgun at a vehicle, the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation said in a statement Wednesday.

    A deputy shot the man once after he refused to drop the weapon, according to the release.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I love people…and the internet…worst and greatest invention of mankind.

    • Sean

      I left my tin foil at home today. 🙁

      • R.J.

        Archie McFee really needs to sell a “tinfoil hat kit” that would be a nice box with a sheet of foil in it.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Nah, it needs to be an aluminum hair net that has a baseball hat bill extension.

    • WTF

      Three years ago I would have just laughed. Unfortunately experience of the last two years prevents my damaged mind from dismissing it out of hand.
      Based on all the “crazy conspiracy theories” that later turned out to be true.

      • Tundra

        I had never heard the explosion/Fed conspiracy. I love it so much.

      • WTF

        That’s a new one for me too. And it really is awesome.

      • DEG

        It’s the best of the Titanic conspiracy theories I’ve heard.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I don’t see taking out an entire ship to get to 4 guys. Furthermore if they managed to survive, depending on the circumstances, they could have become heroes and had more power to oppose the Fed.

      • Drake

        I’ve heard it.

        Never thought about anyone finding a blown-out hull to prove it.

    • The Hyperbole

      Submarine theory I heard in the bar last night – There was nobody in the sub, those rich people wanted or needed to disappear and are alive on Elvis’s island with Tupac and Kurt Corbain.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I can dig that, especially if you couple the step-son hitting on the OnlyFans while dad is ‘lost’

  29. DEG

    I filled up my water bottle from a public fountain which seemed to attract cyclists like poop attracts flies.

    Beautiful.

    I can now brag that I passed a Grand Tour winner on my bike. Sure, he was at a dead stop at the side of the road waiting for someone, but nobody has to know that part.

    Your secret is safe with us.

  30. Ownbestenemy

    Consist location of debris and last known location of the sub. They were gone Sunday…now curious was that area not checked first?

    • kinnath

      Depends on depth of implosion and currents. Shit gets scattered over a very large area. And you need to differentiate new debris from existing debris.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well it was reported its last known location was east of the bow portion near its depth, just strikes me as curious that its last known location was where it was. Like keys I guess.

    • R C Dean

      I don’t think the ship with the ROV got there until yesterday or early today.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Then that makes sense. Tragic all over the place.

  31. Tres Cool

    I’d make a joke about the submarine tragedy, but I wont sink that low.

    • Sean

      “Jared Fogle is no longer the worse thing to happen to subs.”

  32. The Other Kevin

    Found this on PJ’s story about the sub:
    “The debris from the vessel was located approximately 1,600 feet from the hull of the Titanic in an area with a smooth ocean bottom. It is not believed that the craft crashed into the wreckage of the doomed ocean liner.”